Life in Dauntless

Chapter 25: Feelings and Trying

I am sixteen weeks pregnant now, my bump is still getting bigger. I keep the teddy bear that Christina gave me with me all the time. I take it everywhere, and I sleep with it. I just can't bear to let it go. It's a little piece of Aaron that I need with me. To help me remain calm, to remind me of him, to help me through the war.

We are still winning the war but we haven't won yet. Jeanine, Chloe, Eric and Evelyn are still around. Still trying to harm me and my baby.

Marlene is still doing weekly check-ups on me and the baby. Everything's fine, the baby is now around the right size he or she should be. In four weeks I get to find out the gender, if I want to find out anyway.

My dad goes out to fight occasionally but my mum and grandma stay with me, Christina and all the other women in our group do as well.

At the moment my dad and I are on my bunk. My back is leaning against the wall and my feet are out in front of me, one hand rests on my bump and the other is holding the teddy bear to my chest. I need it close to me.

My dad is sitting on the other side of my bed, massaging my sore feet.

"I used to do this for your mother all the time when she was pregnant with the others." He tells me.

"Well, you're good, maybe I should get you to do this more often."

"Well, if ever you want your feet massaged, I will do it for you. I'll do anything for my baby girl."

"I'm not a baby."

"You'll always be my baby girl. How are you feeling?"

"Tired, hungry, sore, the usual. Also, this bed is starting to annoy the hell out of me. It's really not comfy."

"I know. But we'll be back home soon, I'm sure of it."

"I hope. I'm just scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Everything. The PTSD I have means the baby is more likely to die or be born early. I'm scared of being a single parent. Scared I'm going to ruin everything, or not be a good enough mum. I'm scared of giving birth. And a lot of other things."

"Hope, you are the bravest person I know. You'll get through this. And we're all here to help you, through everything. Also, I mean it when I say that your baby won't die. I'll make sure of it. And, you won't ruin anything, you'll be an amazing mum."

"Thanks. Mum was seventeen weeks pregnant when she had me, right?"

"Yeah, and we didn't know about you. But I'm sure you'll be okay, and that baby. You're both fighters. Like me and your mum are."

I laugh for the first time in a while.

"Thanks, dad. For everything."

"A dad's supposed to be there for their children, right? All I want is for all of you to be safe, happy and healthy. I'm going to be here for all of you until the day I die. Which I hope is a long way away."

"I do, too. I don't know what I'd do without you and mum. Probably go crazy."

"Well we're here for you, and we aren't going anywhere just yet. I love you, Hope."

"I love you, too, dad."

We hug and he kisses the top of my head.

"Why don't I go and get you some food?" He suggests when we pull away.

"I would love some food."

"Okay, what do you want?"

"Uh, my favourite."

"So that's a hamburger, with fries, with grapes, with a big slice of Dauntless cake. And orange juice."

"Yup."

"Okay. I'll be back in a bit."

He kisses my forehead and leaves.

…

Aaron's POV

I wake up to a sore everything. I'm still in the room I am being held hostage at by Jeanine and her minions.

I have tried to get out of here, believe me, but I can't. Every time I have tried they have found me and thrown me back into the same room.

They have been torturing me and everything. They put me through fear simulations, torture simulations, they have been beating me with belts, fists, feet, anything. They have been burning me and electrocuting me.

It's awful.

I just want to get back to Hope and our baby. And my parents, obviously.

I need them all to know that I'm not really dead.

I need to be in my baby's life.

I need to be the dad that my dad was to me.

But I can't escape.

I need help but I don't know how to get it.

I'm getting weaker every day because of the amount of blood I've lost. Also, they're barely feeding me anything, I get three small portions of porridge a day.

I need to get out of here before I do actually die.

I need to.

But I don't know how to.

Jeanine keeps saying she'll let me go soon, she's just waiting for the perfect time to do so. But I don't believe her. I can't believe her. And if she does she'll probably leave me in the middle of nowhere. Somewhere where I can't get any help and somewhere where I have no clue where to go.

Jeanine told me that Hope has PTSD and that means the baby has a higher chance of dying or being born early. Not that she cares, she's happy Hope has that. But I need to be there with her. To help her. To hold her. To support her. To love her. If our baby dies Hope will break completely. She'll think she won't have any part of me left because she thinks I'm 'dead'.

I need to get out of here and find her so I can show her I'm not dead.

But I don't know how.

I need help.

I need Hope.

I need our baby.

I need to get out.

Hey Ravens.

If you haven't already could you please go and answer the poll question on my page. It's about what other fanfics you want me to write. There are a list of options and you can pick up to three of them.

I will update again when I can.

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