Kisame's First Few Days At Akatsuki
I don't own Naruto, yeah.
Chapter 25: Questions, Questions…
It all started as a simple conversation…
QUESTION 1
"Uh… Leader-sama… Were you the one who founded Akatsuki?" Tobi asked. "No… Why do you ask, Tobi?" The leader replied, looking up from the morning newspaper. "When did we start getting the newspaper?" Itachi asked, walking into the kitchen. "Oh… well… I don't know… it just started appearing at my door one day and I looked at it, and I read the articles And I looked at the little comics at the end… yeah." The leader replied. "You do know that we have to pay 50 cents just by getting the newspaper?" Itachi said. "REALLY!? AW MAN!!" The leader yelled. "Uh… leader-sama… about Tobi's question…" Tobi said. "Oh right… Well…" The leader started.
LEADER'S TALKING!!
It all started in the merry times of New England, When some FAT SLOB CAME AND ATE ALL THE BACON!!
Kisame: What does a fat guy have to do with Akatsuki?
I'm getting to that… Anyway, he traveled all over the world, looking for more bacon, when he reached Japan… well, this dimension of Japan. I don't know how, but he did. Well, they didn't let him in, and when he asked for the fifth week in a row, they said, "Dude, you ain't getting in this place without a passport! Now Go Away!!" At this, he walked around the borders and started a cult with other rejected travelers.
Tobi: What was the guy's name?
That, Tobi, is not important. Because, (coughHeDiescough). Anyway, after he officially started the cult, He called it Akatsuki, after some nerdy Sci-Fi show that he watched all the time.
Itachi: I don't like where this is going…
Kisame: Wait wait wait…. We were started, because some fat guy didn't get his bacon!?
Is that a problem?
Kisame: YES!! IT'S A HUUGE PROBLEM!! WE WERE STARTED BY THIS GUY WHO WATCHED LAME SCI-FI MOVIES 24/7!!
If you think that's bad, then you should look at their first group photo.
Itachi: ARE THOSE…
Kisame: STAR TREK UNIFORMS!?!?
Itachi: Is that you? –points at picture-
Uh… -rips picture in half- no. –eats it- Moving on. During the reception (cough HouseParty cough) He died … of… extreme… eating habits.
Itachi: So… he ATE himself to death… wow… This happened… when?
20 years ago.
Itachi: He died 20 years ago? … 7 years before Kisame joined…
Right after he died, I took over, and made a complete reform. The others opposed, so I killed them. –smiles- Then you guys started to join soon after.
Kisame: Who was the first?
ME!! Obviously.
Kisame: I mean after you.
Hmm… I think it was… our own Mystery member. Ok, here's a list. I kneew I made it when I took over. Ok, here it is:
- - - - - - - - - - - - (mystery member)
Zetsu
Kakuzu
Hidan
Sasori
Orochimaru X
Deidara
Itachi
Kisame
And that's it.
Kisame: Where's Tobi?
He's not an official member.
Itachi: What's that 'X' after Orochimaru's name?
It means he quit.
Tobi: Isn't Tobi like a member to you!?
Uh… not so much.
QUESTION 2
" Hey… leader… Why doesn't the mystery member ever reveal… itself?" Itachi asked the leader. "Because it wouldn't be a mystery. End of story." He replied. "But-" "END. OF. STORY." The leader said, looking at Itachi strait in the eye. "That's not a very wise place to look. Especially if You don't answer my questions…" Itachi said. "MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!!!" "AW CRAP!!"
that was the last time we saw the leader in a while…
QUESTION 3
"Leader… How do you get in Akatsuki?" Tobi asked. "Obviously you'd ask that question…" The leader said. "You get into Akatsuki by falling into one of our traps. If we deem you good enough, we let you in, but if we deem you unworthy or worthless, we kill you. That simple." "But… Tobi didn't get into one of your traps." Tobi said. "Well, Zetsu said that you were a 'Good Boy', and brought you home. I feel pretty bad, because it has become your catch phrase." The leader replied. "Well, will Tobi be in Akatsuki soon?" Tobi asked. "Not soon, and I'm not promising anything." The leader said. "Well, how did the other members get in?" Tobi asked again. "The same way its always been…
Mystery Member:
He/She/It found the base and came in. That's all. I'm serious.
Zetsu:
Ok… I am an official Traveler… that's great- "OW!!!" Zetsu looked down. He was caught in a bear trap. "WHO PUT THIS HERE!?!?! OH MY GOD!!! WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD EVER-" -faints-
"Hey… I think he's waking up…" Unnamed said. "Well, how's he doing? Oh… that cut looks infected…" The leader said. "I think he's alive… He looks powerful… Welcome to Akatsuki!" "What?" Zetsu said. "You are in the cult 'Akatsuki'. Refuse and we'll have to kill you." The leader replied. "Where's my room!?" Zetsu said, implying that he accepted the forced offer.
Kakuzu:
"Hey, you over there!" The leader called. "Hm? Me?" Kakuzu asked. "I'll pay you $500 if you join our cult." The leader said, holding up the money. "Ok." Kakuzu said, walking over.
Hidan:
The leader put up a sign saying: PLEASE YOUR god!! HUMAN SACRIFICES HERE!!
Of course, Hidan followed the sign.
Sasori:
He was just walking along, making puppets, when all of a sudden he fell through this hole and found himself in Akatsuki.
Orochimaru:
He also found the base, showed the leader some nail polish, said it amplified Jutsus, and he was in. That was all. Then he left.
Deidara:
The leader found him on the street, molding clay, when he came and said, "If you join our cult, you can have as much clay as you want." Deidara popped up from where he was sitting and said, "ART IS A BANG, YEAH!!" Then showed the leader his talent of exploding clay. Good.. we need a girl in Akatsuki… The leader thought. But, he was wrong. Deidara is a guy.
Itachi:
Ok… Killed entire clan… check… traumatized brother… check… ok… what's nex-woah! Itachi thought before falling into a hole. He let his guard down and look where it took him: Akatsuki base. That's why he always keeps his guard up, especially when he's alone.
Kisame:
"I was walking through the park one daaaaaay, in the merry merry month… of… May?" Kisame sang while walking through the park. All of a sudden, Puppet arms pulled him into the huge gaping hole leading to Akatsuki.
ME: So that's how Akatsuki came to be, yeah.