Omg you guys! You always blow me off to somewhere really amazing with all of your amazing reviews! So thank you, I love that you all love this story so much! I love writing it for all of you brilliant people as well, and your reviews only add to the joy of writing! ;)

Mitrioselove, did you have fun editing this chapter? Or did it make you as sad as it made me? Whatever your reaction was, you know I still have to thank you for your amazing work! So yeah, thanks bunches chica ;) How many times do I have to say it? Go to her profile after you read this and read her stories!

Lissa: *smiles sweetly* "Do you need help with your disclaimer today?"

Me: *grins back* "Of course!"

Lissa: *giggles* "So if I do this, will you fix Christian and My's relationship?"

Me: "You little…you're lucky I actually like you, yes, I'll fix your dam relationship now will you do the disclaimer already?"

Rest of the gang: *stares at Lissa in shock, but then grins at her boldness*

"Lissa: *meats gazes of friends head on and smiles victoriously* "Roza doesn't own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead does!"

Warning! If you get emotional easily you might want to grab some tissues before reading as this is an emotional chapter, or at least I think it is!

Summer Romance.

Chapter 25.

It was nearly impossible to believe that I had been relaxed just moments before Dimitri spoke. Those words sent all feelings of lust scampering far back in the dark pits of my mind, and a mixture of confusion, intrigue and excitement laced with a bit of fear took up it's place. Excitement and Intrigue because I'd been wanting to know what their past was for a long time, confusion because he said it so suddenly I still thought I heard wrong, and fear because I really did not know what I was going up against here.

"You want to talk about your past with Tasha?" I asked stupidly. I had heard him loud and clear, but I still needed him to affirm.

My heart began once again pounding at a frantic rhythm in my chest. If I'd known I would've felt this way when he was ready to tell me, I would've found out somewhere else. Someone else had to know what had happened between them to hurt my Dimitri so much, his family, Christian, Ivan, someone, anyone. Dimitri nodded and I suddenly did not know if I wanted to know. He looked, defeated.

"Dimitri, you don't have to tell me, it's fine if you don't want to talk about it, I don't have to know." I closed my eyes tightly, swallowing hard against the lump of fear clogging my throat. Dimitri obviously catching on to why I was so uneasy grabbed both my hands in his and began to rub soothing circles into my palms.

"You need to know Roza, and I have to tell you now before I change my mind. After what happened just now, we are not going to keep anything from each other ever again. I know about your past with Adrian, it's only fair that you know about what happened with Tasha and me." He wanted no secrets, no lies. And it really was not that much to ask for.

At the tenderness of his voice, my traitorous eyes opened again and Dimitri took that moment to lock gazes with me. Instantly, my hesitance seemed stupid. He loved me. I could see it in his eyes whenever he looked at me. I could see it now. I was stupid for doubting that. Dimitri needed my support and I was going to give it to him. Not only that, I could see that keeping his secret was taking it's toll. It was time he let it out once and for all.

"Ok," I said simply. Dimitri smiled and pecked my lips before pulling away. He sat down in front of me on the rug and took a hold of my hands again. I didn't pull away knowing that he needed this. He took a deep breath in as he tried to calm down. It was obvious this was something that had affected him deeply.

"Tasha and I have been friends since forever. Kind of like you and Lissa," He said smiling, but he looked far away. I nodded and could not help but return his smile. My smile wasn't just because I was being supportive, it was honest and genuine. I finally understood why Dimitri understood and respected the friendship Lissa and I had so well.

"Actually, it was her Ivan and I. We went to all of the same schools, and were in the same classes. We had always been close; we went out on dates on and off and shared a couple kisses, each knowing that it would never mean anything. Ivan never really settled on any one girl, he was the biggest flirt in school." Dimitri laughed at something distant, but I was a little peeved.

I could not help the jealousy that flared up within me at the knowledge that Tasha shared kisses with my man, but I loved that she knew they would never mean anything. I knew that more was yet to come though, innocent kisses or not, something had happened. A kiss could not hurt my Dimitri like this, there was more. And it was obviously not good.

"It wasn't until we turned 17 in our senior year that things turned tricky. I started feeling things for her, things I should not be feeling about my friend." He raked his finger through his hair, a sign that this was bothering him to tell me. And in a way it was bothering me too.

Fuck so he was falling in love with her. My chest tightened painfully at the thought, but when I caught sight of the far off look in Dimitri's eyes, it faded. I squeezed his hand gently and was rewarded with a smile. His smile was small, but it was enough to let me know that I was doing the right thing.

"What did you do then, Comrade?" I was sure that I knew the answer, but that was just my way of keeping him grounded.

"I pushed her away even though I knew she was developing feelings for me too," He said regretfully. "I started hanging out with other girls and ignoring her. I gave her and a couple other people the distinct impression that I was following in Ivan's footsteps. I never did anything with any of those other girls, but it wasn't long before they were saying I'd taken their virginity or gotten really close to taking it." Dimitri cringed at his words, shook his head and would not meet my eyes again.

I shook my head unable to believe that he had once been that kind of guy. I couldn't blame him though, he was younger then, and the dramas of high school made people do stupid things. I would be lying if I said that I hadn't done some crazy shit back in high school. It was obvious that he regretted his actions, and I felt the need to take some of that regret away.

"You're not that guy anymore though Dimitri. You were younger, you made a mistake. A smart man once told me that we all make them." That got the desired effect and a little bit more. Dimitri chuckled and pulled me onto his lap. He kissed my head and then set me back on the rug exactly where I had been sitting before.

"Thanks Roza, but that's not all. I don't know how you'll think of me when you hear the whole story," he said. I shook my head and fixed him with a hard glare unable and unwilling to believe what he was implying.

"Dimitri, I won't ever judge you, I love you don't you know that? Plus, I did something pretty bad to you, this will no affect us." He smiled and nodded. My gaze softened once again.

"So what happened next? I don't suppose that Tasha was very happy with your ignoring her." Dimitri shook his head.

"No. She was pissed and she had every right to be. She tried talking to me many times, but I never listened to her. I always made sure that I was never alone; I knew she wouldn't come around if I had someone with me. Most times, it was just some random girl, but it had the desired effect." He shrugged as if it were nothing, but his eyes said another story.

"She stayed away?" I asked when he stopped to take a breath. He nodded and walked off to the kitchen.

"Dimitri where are you going?" I got up and followed obviously, and was not surprised to find him reaching for a glass and bottle of vodka, Russian vodka to be exact.

"You want a drink?" He asked. I shook my head ready to tell him that hitting vodka shots in the middle of the day was not a very good idea after the hangover he woke up with, but the words just wouldn't come. Reliving those memories was painful, and he was doing it for me. The least I could do was let the man have a damn drink.

It wasn't like he was hurting anyone and I knew better than anyone that alcohol numbed pain. It was wrong yes, but we were adults. It was why I'd asked Mason for the strongest drink they had when Lissa, Christian and I had gone to the club on our first night here in Baia. The vodka had been disgusting, but it did help and I'd had my fair share of shots since then.

"You got any coca cola?" I asked. He pointed to the fridge. I didn't even have to look. The inside of Dimitri's refrigerator was as organized as everywhere else in this place. I found a can of coke instantly. I popped the top and took a long sip feeling the caffeine diminish whatever bit of tiredness still lingered from my night of little to no sleep.

Dimitri downed his shot in minutes and was about to pour another one but I grabbed the bottle and handed him a coke instead. I knew he needed the liquid curage, but he was having a little too much. The glare he shot at me was playful, and I could not help but smile and lean in for a kiss. Dimitri eagerly kissed me back, but his control was always better than mine, so he pulled away before the kiss could get too deep or inappropriate.

Then he grabbed my hand and his coke and pulled me back in the direction of the living room and the rug. I smiled to myself at how relaxed he was now. Whether that was due to the alcohol or the little break he'd just taken, I did not know. But I sure as fuck was not about to question it. He sat me down and took up a seat across from me once more, took a sip of the coke, and continued his story.

"She tried to talk to me even through Ivan, but he and I were always closer than she and I so he eventually got tired and told her to talk to me herself. She'd tried, but so help me God I was stubborn and never listened to a word she had to say. I literally sent her to my family. When my mama and sisters found out what I'd done to her, they were pissed to. My mama was disappointed; she said that she raised me better than that. The truth was that she really had and if there was and still is one thing I hate is disappointing my mother." Dimitri sighed, and I was conflicted.

I nodded understandingly knowing that when I turned my phone back on I would have lots of missed calls and messages from my own parents. Hell my head spun at the explanation I would have to give them especially since they had no idea of everything that had gone down with Adrian and I.

They knew that we broke up, but they had no idea why, and they didn't know that Dimitri and I had fallen in love. They'd seen him in pictures, but I never told them who he was, just that he's someone I met here in Russia. I was going to tell them everything when I next spoke to them though, I'd learnt what keeping secrets could do to people in both what had happened with Dimitri and I, and everything that had happened to Lissa and Christian as well.

"Your family was the reason why you spoke to her weren't they?" Dimitri nodded, huffing a little bit in annoyance.

"Yeah, I called her after school one Friday and made plans to meet up later. I could hear the hesitance in her voice Roza, and I hated it. We'd never held anything back from each other before, our friendship had always been easy. But I'd screwed that up. Tasha met me at our favorite restaurant, we had dinner and talked. I apologized and admitted how I felt to her. I don't know if it was because we had been friends since forever, but she accepted my apology, and we started dating in earnest."

Oh fuck, no, they had actually dated, for real. I couldn't even make myself feel jealous or bitter, not with the love and admiration Dimitri was looking at me with. I was however scared. I was scared out of my fucking mind, because I knew that despite all the horrible things Dimitri had said he'd done to her the worst was yet to come.

"We slept together that night, and found out a few weeks later that Tasha was pregnant. I knew the baby was mine; I was the only guy she'd ever been with. We'd just gotten out of school when we found out but even though we had just turned 18, we were happy. My family was too, mama was excited that she was going to have a grand-baby, and so were Tasha's parents and brother."

Dimitri tensed up again and gulped the rest of his coke down. I'd started taking sips the moment he'd said that they slept together, and mine was done to. I knew there was going to be something about a baby, and I knew that it could not be good. Nevertheless, I found myself hoping against hope that there would be a different ending to this story. I shifted closer knowing that just my presence calmed him because it was the same for me. He wrapped an arm around my waist before continuing

"We had no idea of what was to come, how could we? We were so young Roza," I grabbed his hand knowing that he was hurting if the catch in his voice was any indication. I shifted closer, and Dimitri pulled me onto his lap once again. This time though he wasn't being seductive, he was just doing it for comfort. He needed me, and I was going to be there for him.

"We can sto-"Dimitri shook his head shutting me up instantly. He was not about to stop now, he had gotten too far into his story. There was no doubt that I wanted to know the rest, but I would forget about that because it caused Dimitri pain. It did not matter how much I wanted to know. And he obviously had to tell me, it was eating him alive.

"She was nearly 6 months when it happened. I'd asked her about 2 weeks prior to move in with me, but she declined. She said that she wouldn't move in until we were married out of respect for my family." He shuddered against me, the memories obviously playing in his mind.

"What happened Dimitri?" I stroked his hair soothingly, and he took a few deep breaths willing himself to calm down. He relaxed slightly before answering.

"I-we were having a cook out, Tasha said that she would come over after work but there was a whole lot of traffic that day because of an accident. She got to her family's house and parked the car but instead of going inside, she grabbed her helmet, jumped on her motorcycle and took off to my family's house." Oh god, no, no! Life could not be so cruel! I was as tensed as Dimitri now, but somehow we stayed locked in a tight embrace.

"She did it to try and avoid the traffic, but she never made it to my house Roza. She got really close, all she had to do was turn into the side road, but a driver pulled out and slammed into her. The fucking asshole didn't even stop to see if she was ok." His hands clenched into fists and the look of rage told me that he was imagining the driver's neck between them. I could almost not believe what had happened.

"But a passer-by did, he saw her swollen stomach and alerted the paramedics instantly. Only when they got there it was too late." Tears made a slow track down Dimitri's face, but he ignored them and pushed on with what he was saying. I didn't want to hear anymore, I couldn't listen to anymore. But I knew better than to say that. He needed this, and I would be here for him.

"My family and I came out when we heard the sirens, but nothing; nothing could have prepared me for the site which awaited me. Tasha was lying on her back on the side of the road, her hands pressed protectively over her belly. I ran over to her ignoring calls from my family and the officers and paramedics. I just needed to get to her; I needed to make sure that our baby was ok, that she was ok. But as I got closer to her, I became very much aware of the blood pooling between her legs."

There was no stopping the tear that suddenly rolled down my was just heartbreaking. How could something like this happen? My hand flew to my own stomach reflexively. I wasn't pregnant, but sympathy flooded me, and pressing my hand to my stomach came naturally. Dimitri grabbed my hand and stared at my stomach a question shining in those tear-filled eyes. I shook my head, and he just nodded.

"Tasha was barely conscious when I got to her, and I knew it took a lot of energy for her to speak to me. But the moment I said her name, she began apologizing and the tears I knew she'd been holding back began pouring down her cheeks. I did the only thing I could; I held her as best I could and told her over and over that everything was going to be ok, that our baby was ok. But she knew, and she tried to tell me but the paramedics took her away. I rode in the ambulance with her, but she was unconscious for most of the ride and when she wasn't, she was barely there." I wanted to say something, anything to ease Dimitri's pain, but he wasn't having any of it. He just held me tight to his chest and continued speaking.

"I yelled over and over at the doctors to save our baby, but a few hours later the doctors told us that Tasha was stable, but the baby hadn't survived."

I gasped and flinched even though I knew he was going to say those exact words. The sting of unshed tears stung my eyes and emotion clogged my throat and I couldn't breathe. Dimitri and Tasha had gone through so much and yet here they were making a life for themselves despite their loss. God, I could not help but wonder how my life would've turned out if I had been in that position. I forced myself to get it together and wiped Dimitri's tears away with my thumbs.

"So what happened after you…" I couldn't even make myself say the words. They hurt so much, and I wasn't even the one who lost a child. I could only imagine how Dimitri and Tasha felt.

"I was an ass who subconsciously blamed Tasha even though I knew how much she was hurting," He said bitterly. I nodded stunned by all of this new information. Yes getting on that bike while 6 months pregnant had been a terrible lapse of judgement on Tasha's part, but how was she supposed to know what the repercussions of her actions would've been? She had been young, and careless.

"When she sank into depression, I tried to help her, I was there for her as much as I could've been, but I soon figured out that it wasn't her I blamed. I blamed myself; I thought that if I'd gotten her from work despite her protests our baby could've survived."

The vulnerability in his voice cut me deep, but it was that look of pure agony and self-torture in those eyes that made me tighten my grip around his neck. I wanted to comfort him somehow, but I did not know how. I'd never been in a situation like this before, so I just did the only thing that I could. I held him close and said the words on the tip of my tongue.

"You couldn't have known Dimitri, you can't blame yourself for this," I cupped his face in my hands and stared straight into his eyes and annunciated my next words slowly. "It is, not, your, fault."

"I know that now Roza, but back then," His voice trailed off for a second as he blinked hard against the tears brimming in his eyes.

"Back then in my mind it was my fault. I'd fucked up and our baby, a life we both swore to protect paid the price. Eventually, Tasha and I broke up. She left for California to go visit her aunt. She was gone for a long time, but somehow even though we had both been hurt, we stayed in contact maybe because it was the only way we could deal with that hurt." Dimitri stopped, blew out a long breath and then continued.

"When she came back we were a bit skeptical to meet each other again, but Ivan Zeklos is a hard headed ass who does whatever he feels is right to ease people's hurt. He got my family to invite Tasha over for dinner without telling me. We had a heart to heart, and well the rest is history. We agreed to stay friends, but Tasha knew that I still carried around guilt. And I did, until I met you. While she'd been in California she found out that she couldn't have any more children because the scar tissue was too extensive."

"Oh Dimitri, I'm so sorry love. You've been through so much, but you survived. You took all that hurt and channelled it into your job of protecting people. I'm so proud of you," With that I leant forwards and pressed my lips to his in a slow sweet kiss.

I poured everything into that kiss, and he did the same. All the tears we'd been holding back rolled down our cheeks now. I cried for all of the pain my sweet Dimitri had endured, but most of all, I cried for the woman who had lost something many women took for granted. You never miss the water till the well runs dry, aint that the fucking truth.

A/N

*hastily wipes at eyes*

So, how are we all feeling? Was anyone expecting this? Who thought Tasha was cheating? Lemon next chapter? Let me know how you feel and what you think in a review!

Review lovelies and Dimitri/Adrian will share coke with you ;)

Lots of love XXX

Roza