Thanks for the reviews, Nupurlath and JainRidhi. Cheers!
Nupurlath: Haha, your suspicions may or may not be addressed in this chapter – read on!
JainRidhi: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! Hope you like this chapter even more – honestly, it's one of my favourites.
Hi everyone, here is chapter twenty-five. Readers, please review. Thanks!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. All (well, most, anyway) characters are from J K Rowling's brilliant best-selling series.
Chapter Twenty-Five
"I forgive you."
James spent November in relatively blissful happiness. He was on top of his lessons and the Head Boy duties which he'd surprisingly started to enjoy; the Gryffindor Quidditch team had thrashed their Slytherin counterparts with a margin resounding enough for Madam Hooch to consider Liz and Marlene for first-team selection; and the Order of the Phoenix training with Emily was picking up pace… In addition to the not-so-small matter of him finally going out with the girl of his dreams.
James couldn't believe how seamlessly he and Lily had taken the plunge from being close friends to being in a relationship. Granted, the situation was a little complicated given the fact that they shared living quarters – but Lily had set some boundaries right after they'd gotten together, making it a easier for them both. James always remained respectful of Lily's personal space, only initiating a kiss when he was sure that she wanted it, too, for instance… He didn't want to do anything that could mess things up while their relationship was still in its early stages. He always felt a sense of satisfaction when she kissed him, or when her eyes lingered on him for just a fraction of a second more than usual whenever she waved goodbye to him… It was proof that she liked him that way, too, and he couldn't be happier. He had no questions whatsoever about how he felt about her, though…
He was in love with her. He hadn't said it after they'd gotten together, but knowing how perceptive she was, he was sure that she'd sensed it by now… He was largely comfortable with where they were at in their relationship, but several questions kept nagging him… What if she didn't feel the same way after a few months? What if she never did? What if she realised that getting together with him had been a huge mistake? What if she left him? Would he be able to get over her?
"Valid questions, mate," said Sirius, after James had voiced these concerns to him, Remus and Peter as they sat just outside the kitchens after dinner, munching on some delicious macaroons. "But – I suggest you forget about those and focus on that early-relationship honeymoon phase – where you're unable to keep your hands off each other, like me and Lizzie were." He winked at James, who shook his head as Remus said, "Ugh, too much information, Padfoot." He made a face, and Peter laughed. "Sirius never had any sense of boundaries," he said matter-of-factly, receiving a smack on the head from the latter in retaliation. James and Remus laughed again, resulting in Sirius throwing a macaroon at each of them; that prompted James to Disarm him, and Remus added insult to injury by quickly hitting him with a Tickling Charm.
"But – listen, Prongs," said Remus, as Sirius rolled around on the floor, laughing uncontrollably, "Don't worry so much, mate… I know Lily, and if she hadn't thought this through, she wouldn't have said yes to going out with you. She's not going to leave you –"
James snorted. "Yeah, well," he said, looking on in amusement as Peter suspended a still-laughing Sirius upside-down, "Just look at her dating history, Moony – the German bloke lived hundreds of miles away, and Adam Wright turned out to be a selfish coward –"
"The German bloke doesn't count," said Remus dismissively. "She was too young when they got together, and we've all made mistakes in the past… She's older and more mature now, see? And as for Adam – that's unfair, Prongs. He can do what he wants with his own life –"
"He ran away!" protested James.
"To follow his own dreams!" countered Remus forcefully, shaking Sirius off as the latter grabbed his hand, still laughing while upside-down. "Lily probably didn't see herself in Spain with him – that's why it ended, I think… And that, Prongs, has a lot to do with why she won't leave you, aside from the fact that she obviously has feelings for you."
"Really, how come?" asked James, his heart rising with hope.
"She sees a future with you," said Remus simply. "We know how passionately she feels about fighting the war – being Muggleborn, she has a personal stake in it. And you're going fight as well – that's good enough for her, see? She's willing to take a chance on the fact that your futures are intertwined…"
James mulled over this for a few seconds before his face split into a wide grin. "Thanks, Moony," he said, clapping Remus on the back as Peter finally lifted the Tickling Charm off Sirius, who ceased laughing at once. "Dammit, Pete, let me down, you pestilential piss-drinking penguin!" Sirius hollered at once, prompting the boy in question to let out a loud shout of laughter. "Ooh, language, Padfoot," said Peter mischievously, "For I alone can let you down…"
"Anyway," said Remus, with a glint of amusement in his eyes as Peter finally let Sirius down, and the latter lay in a heap on the floor, "Don't worry, Prongs – the only way she'll leave you is if you do something really, really stupid."
"That's hardly comforting," said Sirius, dragging himself into a sitting position, "Prongs here has a history of doing stupid stuff –"
"Not helping, Padfoot!" exclaimed Peter; it appeared as if he'd followed the discussion between James and Remus whilst he'd been busy tormenting Sirius. James laughed and said, "Nah, it's fine, you lot… I do feel a lot better, and I won't be mulling over it obsessively at least."
Sirius clapped James on the back. "Good," he said, "'Coz we leave for Durmstrang tomorrow afternoon, and we need our best Chaser completely focused on the match."
"Rest assured," said James confidently, grinning back at his best mate, "For we're going to win this!"
"Yeah – just make sure you and Bond work together," warned Sirius, waggling his index finger. "I'd be daft if I hadn't noticed how cool she's been to you lately – sore loser, isn't she?"
James sighed. "Yeah – looks that way," he conceded. "Y'know, I thought she'd have at least a little bit of maturity! C'mon – so what if they lost to us? Why does she have to act like that during practice?"
He'd been quite annoyed with the Hogwarts Captain's attitude following Slytherin's defeat at the hands of Gryffindor. Once or twice, he'd seen her glowering in the general direction of Sirius, Liz or Marlene – and while he'd asked her if she had a problem, she'd responded in the negative. But – he couldn't shake off the feeling that cracks were appearing in the Hogwarts team; indeed, the Slytherins seemed to be sticking together a lot more than before, barely interacting with the rest. They hardly discussed tactics anymore, too… Madam Hooch gave them an idea of what was expected, and they went about practising it – but there was something missing, and James remembered feeling the same way when Liz and Marlene had been squabbling over Sirius back in their fifth year. There was no teamwork, and as Captain, Ashley Bond didn't seem inclined to remedy that, which annoyed James more than anything else. Wasn't it the Captain's responsibility to make sure that the team worked well together?
"You're right – her attitude is terrible," agreed Sirius.
"Shame," said James, "I was starting to think she wasn't so bad, really… But then again, she is a Slytherin, isn't she?" He shook his head derisively.
"C'mon, Prongs – that's not fair," said Remus patiently. "Look, Slytherin lost a heated match to Gryffindor – plus, Sirius got into a fight with Rowle, and it got unnecessarily intense! 'Course she's going to be sore they lost!"
"Yeah, but still – winning and losing is a part of the game, right?" Sirius pointed out. "If you don't like losing, either do better to win, or don't play at all!"
"Hard to argue with that," said James, shrugging. Remus shook his head but said nothing more; James suspected that he was in two minds, but he himself wasn't particularly inclined to talk about the Hogwarts team dynamics right now, especially while doing something as relaxing as eating…
It was late afternoon on Friday when the Hogwarts Quidditch team departed for Durmstrang Institute, along with Dumbledore and Madam Hooch. They departed via three different portkeys, and to James's pleasant surprise, the entire student body came to see the team off. Lily kissed him gently on the cheek as goodbye, and he kissed her forehead before giving her an energetic wave and joining the rest of the team.
"Smooth," said Sirius, sounding faintly amused as half the team clutched an old potions bottle, which would serve as their portkey that day. James stuck his tongue out at his best friend, just as Liz hit Sirius reprovingly on the arm. "Well – you're both good for each other, James," she said warmly. "She's really – happy." She smiled.
"Glad to hear that," said James, doing enough to keep the sudden excitement he was feeling out of his voice. Lily was – happy? Well, that was perfect – so was he!
"Heads up," said Gavin Johnson, who was listening to this exchange with a little smirk, "Portkey leaves in –" he checked his watch, "—three – two – one –"
James felt a sudden jerk below his navel, and they were all speeding along at a fearsome velocity, until they suddenly hit the ground and let go of the potions bottle. He shivered; there was a chill in the air, and it was already quite dark. I dunno how far up north we are, he thought as he helped an unsteady Claire Palmer to her feet… They appeared to be in the middle of a huge meadow, but James noticed the silhouette of a huge castle with four floors only a little distance ahead of them. Wow, he thought in wonder… These grounds are huge!
The Hogwarts Quidditch team was welcomed cordially by their hosts, and were served a very traditional British dinner. Durmstrang's Great Hall wasn't as big or grand as theirs, but it had its own mystic charm to it… James and the rest sat together at one of the tables (he noted that Durmstrang had five Houses), making small talk with the Durmstrang students as they ate; thanks to one rather talkative girl, he learned that the school mainly accepted young witches and wizards from Scandinavia, Russia and the Balkan peninsula, though students of all European nationalities were welcome to enrol. He also learned that the weather had been quite unpredictable lately, and that there was a chance of snow the next day… Just our luck, he thought, a little apprehensively. We've never played during snow before…
Just after dinner, Professor Haraldsson announced for the Durmstrang Head Students to take the Hogwarts team to their living quarters, which turned out to be a spacious dormitory on the ground floor, complete with separate chambers for girls and boys. However, before going to bed, Ashley Bond called the team together and said, "All right… This is our first away match, you lot. It's probably going to be the toughest match anyone of you has ever played – the forecast for tomorrow is snow, which means that we'll be at a disadvantage, since it's fair to assume that the Durmstrang team is used to playing in adverse conditions." She paused. "Anyway – I had a word with Madam Hooch, and we're going to start with the same team as the last match."
James drew in a sharp breath; if he was being brutally honest, Liz and Marlene had played better than Ashley in the Gryffindor versus Slytherin match – so, didn't they deserve to be in tomorrow's line-up? He opened his mouth to ask the same question, but Ashley interrupted, saying, "I know what you're going to say, Potter… But there can only be room for seven people in this team, and while we've got fourteen of our school's best players here, the seven best players should start."
"I couldn't agree more," said James, and Ashley raised her eyebrows. "But – think about it," continued James, struggling to keep his tone even, "You know as well as I do that Marlene and Liz played better than you during our Hogwarts Quidditch Cup match against you. And – they've been playing better than you throughout practice for the past few weeks, too."
He didn't know what made him say it. Perhaps it was the disappointment of being wrong after being so sure that at least one of Liz or Marlene would start tomorrow; perhaps it was his suppressed fury with Ashley's attitude throughout team practices over the past month… All he knew that he was done holding back. Bitter truths had to be spoken… "Well?" he added inquiringly, "Don't you think they've both been better than you?"
"It doesn't matter," said Ashley softly, but with an undercurrent of menace in her voice. "You see, Potter, I am the Captain of this team –"
"Oh, really?" James countered. "Is that so?"
"James," said Liz, but James held up a hand to silence her. "You're the Captain of a fractured team, Bond," he said flatly. "Our last few practice sessions have been an absolute joke… Did you even feature in a single discussion on tactics? Did you even exchange a few words with any member of this team who isn't a Slytherin? Go on, tell me – did you?"
The tension in the room was thick enough to be cut with a knife. Ashley stared at James for a full ten seconds before saying, "Don't tell me how to do my job, Potter." Her voice was soft, but it made the hair on the back of James's neck stand up. "Well – it appears as if I need to," he said, bristling slightly, "'Coz you're doing a poor job of it."
A few people collectively gasped, and Rowle yelled, "Shut up, Potter!" He actually went for his wand, but Ashley quelled him with a glare. "Back off, Rowle," she said roughly, and the huge blond Slytherin narrowed his eyes at her but obeyed. Turning back to James, Ashley said, "Well – you've got some nerve thinking you can do a better job than me as Captain, Potter… Need I remind you who won the Quidditch Cup last year? Who led their team to victory, only in their second year as a team member? You may be an excellent Chaser, Potter, but your leadership qualities need improvement – that's probably why you weren't made Captain." She smirked slightly.
That little smirk did it; James stood up suddenly. Blood was pounding through his ears… It was bad enough that she'd brought up Gryffindor's heartbreaking Quidditch Cup loss last year, but to call him a poor Captain? Too far, he thought furiously… Too far!
Liz grabbed his arm, and he tried to shake her off. "No, James – control yourself," she said calmly, trying to make him sit down. "That's enough –"
"I'm a better Captain than you!" James shouted at Ashley. "At least I have the guts to make sure that my team plays like a team, even if we may not win every game – unlike you, Captain!" He put undue emphasis on the last word as he glared at her.
The smirk wiped off Ashley's face at once, only to be replaced with a scorching glare of her own. "Fine!" she exclaimed, standing up suddenly. "Think you can do a better job than me, Potter? Well – here's your chance…" She removed the Captain's armband from her pocket and flung it at him. "You can Captain the team tomorrow – but if I'm such a terrible Chaser, I won't be playing! Let's see what you can do!"
There was a tense, billowing silence, following which James picked up the armband and put it around his elbow. "All right, then," he said shortly, "I'll show you how a real Captain does things – even if we lose tomorrow, we'll lose playing like a team!"
Ashley laughed derisively and stormed off towards the girls' chamber. There was another silence, following which Rowle stood up. "I'm not playing under you," he spat at James, who snorted. "Doesn't matter – Claire's better than you anyway, so you're best off warming the bench," he snapped back, and Rowle merely made a rude hand gesture at him before making his way the boys' chamber.
"I'll be on the bench too," said Brenda Hastings, also standing up. "I'm sorry, Potter – but you acted in a manner that was, frankly, deplorable – and quite unsuitable for a team Vice-Captain." She got up and walked off into the girls' chamber, right behind her best friend.
James narrowed his eyes at Regulus, the only Slytherin remaining in the room. Before he could say anything, however, the younger Black said, "I'm out, too – you can do whatever you like, Potter." He got up and exited the room as well, to no one's surprise…
Seething, James snapped, "Does anyone else want to bench themselves?"
Nobody said anything, and James took a deep, calming breath. "Fine," he said. "Robins, you're in," he added to the Hufflepuff Seeker, who nodded at him excitedly; but there was a more important choice on James's mind as his eyes rested on Liz and Marlene… How could he choose between them? They both had the flair, the stamina, the skill… Finally, he made his decision. "Liz," he said, "You're in, too. I'm sorry, Marlene –"
"Hey, that's all right," interrupted Marlene, giving him a shaky sort of smile. "I know Liz has been doing better than me at practice… Doesn't take a genius to figure out why you're in, Liz," she added to the blonde, who gave her shoulder a tight, reassuring squeeze.
"Right," said James, relieved that he wasn't going to see a repeat of their fifth year, "I'll inform Madam Hooch tomorrow." He paused, then added, "Goodnight, everyone, sleep well – 'coz tomorrow's going to be a tough day!"
"Nice going," whispered Sirius as he walked alongside James into the boys' chamber, "For the record, Prongs, I support you wholeheartedly – her attitude was getting on my nerves, too."
"I know, right?" James whispered back. "I mean, benching herself is rather dramatic – plus, it was quite selfish of her, but I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, should I? She's a Slytherin, after all – and that lot only looks out for themselves!" He didn't care that Rowle and Regulus could probably hear him… Serve them right, he thought savagely.
"True," said Sirius. "Well – 'Night, Prongs…"
"'Night," said James, and settled into bed. He remained awake for a long time, however… He was feeling a little guilty at the way things had boiled over with Ashley Bond. Granted, the things he'd said weren't false – but he supposed that he could've gone about it a little better… Still, now that he had an opportunity to lead the Hogwarts team, he wasn't going to waste it; for it would be a win, and only a win, that would satisfy James Potter and prove to the rest of the world what a good leader he was…
It was a windy morning as James and the rest of the Hogwarts team went down to breakfast. James spoke little, still annoyed with Ashley's conduct the night before; she, in turn, ignored him completely and sat with Brenda and the other Slytherins. He couldn't help but notice that her eyes appeared to be rather red, but he wasn't in the mood to apologise or offer any words of sympathy… Nay, he had an important task on his hands, and that was to guide his team to victory.
James had a word with Madam Hooch before stepping out of the Durmstrang Great Hall with the rest of his team. The Flying teacher was shocked with what had transpired, but she gave James the go-ahead, albeit with a pronouncement that she would be having a word with him and Ashley after the match. He wasn't looking forward to that, but perhaps Madam Hooch's anger would be mitigated if they won today…
An hour later, James was standing with the other six players who would be starting. "Right," he said, "I know that some things happened last night that were – regrettable. I apologise for my conduct – but right now, we have a match to win." His eyes went to Liz and Gavin, who gave him a reassuring nod. "C'mon, let's do this!" he exclaimed, and the team screamed in unison, "Go Whites!"
A few minutes later, James was shaking hands with the Durmstrang Captain, Dusan Popov. "Good luck," he said, and Popov echoed him. A quick glance at the Durmstrang team showed him that they were wearing robes of chequered red-and-yellow, that there were only two girls, and that all the boys were more than six feet tall, broad-chested and well-built. This is going to be a tough match, he thought… He scoured the crowd to find any sign of Lily, but the snow made visibility poor. Ah, well – she'll be here, he thought, reassuring himself…
The referee blew his whistle, and the match commenced. James immediately made for the Quaffle, but one of the Durmstrang Chasers managed to get there first; she passed it to Popov, who streaked forward, dodging both Bludgers and Gavin's attempt to snatch the Quaffle from him, until –
The huge cheers from the home support confirmed that Popov had scored. James shook his head; he had to think of something quickly, for the ease with which Durmstrang had scored foreshadowed that they were in danger of being flattened…
His fears were coming true; indeed, Durmstrang seemed to be having the better of scoring opportunities, which remained few for Hogwarts. However, Gavin valiantly kept them in the match, making key interceptions – he and Liz warmed up to each other's styles within a few minutes, and Hogwarts began to gain a foothold in the match. Visibility was horrible, and James couldn't hear much more than the cheers of the fans and supporters every time someone scored, but he concentrated on the job at hand; by the time Durmstrang called a time-out after conceding three goals in quick succession, Hogwarts were trailing by only ten points.
"What's the score?" Sirius asked once they were on the ground.
"They're leading – one-twenty to one-ten," supplied Liz. "Good job on the last save, Claire – I'm glad we have you, you're keeping us in the match!"
"Thanks," said Claire, "But you three need to step it up." She looked at James and Gavin. "I dunno how long we have before the Snitch is caught – they're obviously more used to playing in the snow, so their Seeker has an advantage over Gary," she continued. "So, Gary – catch the Snitch as soon as you can, OK?"
"I'm on it," said Gary Robins with a reassuring nod.
"Right," said James, "A slight change in tactics – Gavin, play higher up the pitch than where you're at, so that you can win the ball closer to their goal and increase our chances of scoring. Sirius, Hestia – keep doing what you're doing, you're doing great. Robins, we need an early capture of the Snitch – like Claire said. And Claire, you've pulled off some good saves – but have you noticed that while shooting, Popov always sways to the side opposite to where he shoots?"
"How d'you think I saved his last three shots on goal?" responded Claire, grinning. James clapped her on the back appreciatively and said, "That a girl – now, everyone ready?"
"Yes," said everyone in unison, and kicked off from the ground after the referee blew his whistle.
The Hogwarts team's new tactics seemed to be working, and they were slowly but surely pushing the home team onto the back foot. Gavin played like a man possessed; he intercepted every pass he could, and finally, Hogwarts had a narrow lead. However, James knew that they weren't out of the woods yet, especially since a lot depended on Gary Robins…
"Look out, Gavin!" Liz yelled, and James turned around just in time to see Gavin fall to the ground after taking a Bludger in the head. He whipped out his wand, but the referee was faster; Gavin didn't even hit the ground, but remained suspended in mid-air about two feet above… James called a time-out and the rest of the team quickly went to check on him. He'd been knocked out, and mediwizards stretchered him off to appreciative applause from the crowd. I hope he'll be all right, thought James tensely as beckoned to Marlene; she gave him a purposeful nod before mounting her broom. A few seconds later, the game restarted…
Now in familiar territory, the three Hogwarts Chasers played the way they always had – scoring with merciless, ruthless efficiency. Sirius and Hestia Jones kept their opponents at bay, and the Whites' lead grew steadily… However, just as James was beginning to relax thanks to a hundred-point lead, the referee blew his whistle – a second later, the home fans erupted in ecstasy. No! he thought in dismay as the commentator made the announcement in English, "Durmstrang Institute defeat Hogwarts – by three-hundred-and-thirty points to two-hundred-and-eighty!"
James despondently descended to the ground, followed by the rest of his team. They all shared a massive team hug, and James said, "Well, we lost – but we played some unbelievable Quidditch today. We should all be proud of what we've achieved – despite the stuff that happened last night. When this lot comes to Britain – we'll show 'em."
"Hear, hear," said Sirius, and that brought smiles out of the rest of the team. James felt heartened; he may not have won his first match in charge, but he'd surely done one hell of a job as Captain, playing in difficult conditions and with an injury to a key player… In your face, Bond, he thought disdainfully. Who's a poor Captain now?
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The fallout from James's quarrel with Ashley Bond resulted in Madam Hooch calling them into her office once everyone had returned to Hogwarts, and giving them both a stern lecture about teamwork, sportsmanship and respect. James and Ashley both listened in silence, and expressed regret about what had happened; however, after the meeting, Ashley promptly ignored James again as she stalked off, leaving him furious… Well, if she doesn't want to work out our differences, she can sod off, he thought as he made his way back to the HQ. He wasn't going to spend another minute trying to talk to her…
The snow and sleet battering the castle increased as November transitioned into December. James's workload grew a lot more as the holidays approached, but at least Quidditch practices were on hold… The more important thing on everyone's mind seemed to be job applications, since positions at the Ministry of Magic would open in January, meaning that one had to get the necessary preparations in order before applying. James wasn't concerned about this, however; while he knew that he'd be well-off even without a job, becoming a full-time Order of the Phoenix soldier was the only future he could see…
"So – Mum and Dad invited you to stay over New Year's at our house," he said as he and Lily headed for Emily's final lesson before the holidays. Slughorn's Christmas party was scheduled for the next day, which was the last day of lessons that term. They'd covered a lot of ground in their Order training over the past few months; aside from learning various Energy-replenishing Spells and Spells that enhanced battling abilities, Emily had also taught them a technique to sense magic. James had been heartened to find out how well he was connecting with his magical core, since to sense magic used by others, one had to gain a certain level of control over their own magic… "We're hosting a New Year's party, see? Every one of our friends is invited – but you're the one my parents are keen on wanting to stay for at least a day more – they want to get to know you, see?" he added, grinning.
"Er – all right," said Lily, though she sounded a little tentative. "Which reminds me – my parents have invited you over for dinner at our house on Christmas Day, too – can't believe I forgot to mention that!" She slapped a hand to her forehead. "Oh, no – I'm so sorry, you would have plans with your family –"
"Hey, relax," he said reassuringly, laughing as he stroked her hair. "Don't worry about it – I didn't have any plans as such, so I'd love to be at your house for a Christmas dinner!" He and his parents usually enjoyed a quiet Christmas dinner every year – but that year, he was sure he could talk his way out of that particular tradition. He smiled at the relief on Lily's face.
"Really?" she asked, and he nodded. "Yes," he said emphatically, "Yes, I'd love to…"
"Thanks," said Lily sincerely. "And I'd love to stay at your house over New Year's, too – I just have to let my parents know, but I'll be there." A slow smile spread across her face, and James planted a quick kiss on her cheek just as they entered their usual training classroom. He felt a swoop of anger as he spotted Ashley Bond; she was talking to Gavin (who had suffered no long-term effects of his injury) and Brenda Hastings, looking cheerful… I wonder what you're happy about, he thought scathingly. After all, you deserted the team when they needed you…
"Just talk to her," Lily pressed from next to him, "I'm sure it'll be OK – you're on the same team, after all –"
"She's the Captain – it's her responsibility," said James, shaking his head. He'd returned the armband to Ashley immediately after their meeting with Madam Hooch, but neither of them had spoken a single word to each other since.
"C'mon, James – don't be stubborn," said Lily patiently. "In her mind, you probably led a mutiny against her, and you need to at least clear that up with her –"
"Mutiny?" mimicked James incredulously. "C'mon, Lil – she gave me the armband herself! I didn't ask for it!"
"Nevertheless – you Captained the team in her absence, and you questioned her team selection –"
"That's what a good Vice-Captain does," countered James. "Look – drop it, all right?" he added as she opened her mouth to argue, and Emily's arrival put their discussion on hold. "Right, everyone – this will be our last lesson before Christmas, so I'm not going to teach you anything new," said Emily without preamble. "So – today, we'll be revising everything I've taught you so far. Let us begin…"
They spent an hour going over all the Spells they'd learnt one by one, and by the end of their lesson, James was feeling quite confident in his expertise over what he'd learnt. Three months on, he'd grudgingly admitted to himself that while Emily had done terrible things in the past, her teaching abilities were largely intact, and she had the uncanny knack of getting the best out of her students, regardless of their skill level. He was still deeply mistrustful of her, though – but he remained civil to her, since she was helping them all…
As the lesson ended, everyone began to leave, with a few people wishing James 'Happy Christmas'. He waited for Lily to join him, but just as she did, Emily called, "James, Lily – a word, please." Nonplussed, James glanced at Lily, whose face mirrored his confusion. They indicated to their friends to go ahead, and soon enough, it was just the two of in the room with their teacher. With a wave of her wand, Emily quickly conjured three chairs out of thin air, and invited them to sit down. Another wave of her wand, and the classroom door was shut.
"So – how do you think your lessons are coming along?" asked Emily, looking from Lily to James.
"Quite good," James replied, confused; she could've asked him in front of the others, couldn't she? Why did she want to ask him this question in private? He felt the familiar ripple of anger and wariness as he looked at the blonde witch; how could Dumbledore think she was trustworthy – after what she'd done? Well, Dumbledore may have been fooled (though admittedly the chances of that were remote) – but he, James, wasn't… "I guess it's just luck," he added tersely, "That I remember how good a teacher you were back in our third year."
He felt only a little twinge of regret at the momentary hurt that appeared in Emily's doe-soft brown eyes. He wasn't mean to anyone on purpose – but practitioners of Dark Magic brought out the worst in him; he despised the Dark Arts like poison. He felt Lily's hand on his own – she gave his hand a little squeeze, every time she did when she was trying to calm him down. He gave her a fond glance; he liked the way she could tell when he was upset.
Emily sighed. "I see you haven't forgiven me yet," she said, and James snorted. "I don't know if I ever can," he said bluntly. Following a pause, he added, "Look, I understand why you did it, OK? But you helped attack other students – as a teacher, you're supposed to protect them. You failed in your duty."
"It was a mistake," said Emily calmly. "I know it was – but I didn't have a choice. And especially after you return from that sort of trauma – you do things that you normally wouldn't. I'm not making excuses," she added quickly, "I already know it was wrong, what I did. But no one died – and thanks to you both, my son – he came back to me." Her voice was tender, and her expression was content.
Lily, who had been sitting silently all this time, now spoke up. "I think she deserves a second chance, James," she said, and he looked at her incredulously. She held up both her hands. "Hear me out," she insisted, and James shrank back and nodded, indicating for her to continue.
"Well," Lily began, "I too tried hard to apply some logic to Emily's actions." She gave Emily a sideways glance. "I'd started to see you as a – a mixture of an elder cousin, or a young Aunt," she said, "Someone who understood me, who was patient, sympathetic and kind. I regarded you as – someone with whom I could share whatever was bothering me… Someone whose advice I could count on… Which is why, when you pointed your wand at me – in the Forest, all those years ago, I was shattered."
Emily bowed her head, and it was James's turn to squeeze Lily's hand now. She gave him a faint smile.
"But then – as I grew older, I began to understand," she continued. "You'd dealt with the loss of your husband – you didn't want to lose your son, too. Obviously, you were willing to do whatever it took – to even dance to the Death Eaters' tune, if you had to. It ensured his safety, didn't it?"
Emily nodded, her head slightly bowed.
"So, you did what you had to do," Lily said, her voice shaking slightly with emotion. "The war – it forces us to make hard choices… And naturally, you chose your son's life over a few hours of discomfort to a few unknown students – but if no one died and your son was safe, it would've been OK, right?"
Emily nodded again. She seemed to be letting Lily talk, choosing to listen in silence.
"How is that OK?" James interrupted, bristling. "They were innocent!"
"I know," said Lily softly. "But so was her son…"
James sucked in a low breath. He'd never considered this angle… Her son didn't deserve to suffer any more than the attacked students. He suddenly understood why there had been no choice for Emily…
"To give you an analogy, James," continued Lily, gazing at him steadily, "If you'd been the one in the clutches of Death Eaters and I'd been the one being blackmailed – well, let's just say that it's a choice I wish I never have to make."
James gaped at her, astonished. They'd only been dating for a little more than a month, and yet – he knew that he was in love with her. To be fair, he'd been in love with her for a long time – ironically, he'd realised that she meant a lot to him when she'd gripped his hand tightly all those years ago, right before Emily had been about to wipe their memories. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Lily…
He'd had his doubts on how she felt about him. He'd even wondered if she'd drop him after one or two dates, but he'd started to relax after he'd seen clear signs of her happiness when she was around him, and his talk with his mates had helped, too. But now – that last statement of hers, it heartened him. Here was proof, clear proof, that she cared about him immensely…
"I understand," he said. It was true, he really did – if it was Lily who had been captured, he'd go at any length to ensure that she remained alive and safe. Sure, he'd conduct his investigation into where she could be – but until she was safely back in his arms, he'd be reduced to doing the Death Eaters' bidding. Just the thought of her being away from him hurt him so much – such was the intensity of his feelings for her.
"That's why – I forgive you, Emily," Lily said softly addressing Emily directly. "You deserve a second chance…"
Emily looked up at her, smiling. "It's more than I deserve, Lily – thank you. I shall never break your trust again." Her eyes glistened with unshed tears.
James knew what he had to do. "Er, Emily," he began awkwardly, fixing his gaze on their former DADA professor, who looked back at him, unblinking. "Er – I understand, too – and I forgive you," he said, with an effort. It went against everything he stood for – honour, chivalry, righteousness – but it was the right thing to do. He glanced at Lily, who nodded encouragingly. "I also trust you," he added to Emily, and Lily gave him an approving smile, which immediately made his heart feel lighter.
"Thank you, James," whispered Emily, and a single tear rolled down her cheeks. James nodded at her as she continued, "Wow, you must think I'm such a softie – getting all sappy." Her voice was husky as she wiped her cheek with her red-and-gold Gryffindor scarf.
"Er – so, coming here to teach, is this your way of redeeming yourself?" James asked her hastily, wanting to gloss over the emotional moment. Emily nodded.
"That's one of the reasons, yes," she said, fixing him with an intense gaze.
"What're the others?" Lily asked her curiously. Emily smiled.
"Always curious, aren't you? I'm glad that hasn't changed," she said, and Lily blushed a little. James grinned and said, "Yup – she's always been like that. It's amazing how many questions she asks – her thirst to learn new things is almost as insatiable as Peter's appetite!" Emily grinned as Lily punched him lightly on the arm, and he mock-punched her back, laughing.
"Well – I did travel the world, and I learnt some ancient magic from Japan, India, Brazil, and Australia, obviously… I plan on teaching it to you very soon, once you're back!" said Emily, her voice enthusiastic. She paused, then added, "And – because you're willing to give me a second chance – I suppose you've earned the right to learn my other reason, too." They watched in confusion as Emily removed the Gryffindor scarf from her neck, and James gasped – he couldn't help it.
Emily's neck was as black as midnight on a moonless night. It also looked patchy, like it had been burned. And that wasn't all – her face was blackening, too. Her blonde hair was becoming shorter, greyer and wispier… Her lips, rose-red only a second ago, were now bluish. Her face looked burnt and wrinkled. The only thing that remained unchanged were her doe-soft brown eyes, eyes that were staring at them with a mixture of grief, anguish and misery – with a hint of resignation.
Shocked beyond measure, James stole a quick glance at Lily. Her emerald eyes were wide, and her mouth gaping… She couldn't believe what she was seeing, either. "Er – Emily – what the –?" she sputtered, clearly beyond words.
"This is what I really look like," said Emily, her voice raspy and rough – not at all mellifluous like it was only a minute ago. "It's the Curse in my ankle… The St Mungo's Healers were able to contain it, but there was one detail I didn't share with anyone else. You see – that containment was temporary." She nodded sadly at their shocked faces. "The Curse spread to the rest of my body – first my limbs, then my chest, back and stomach – then the neck, and finally, the face. Ever wondered why my face and my hands are the only bits of skin I expose to the world?" Her gaze went from James to Lily, who looked near tears. James quickly gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze before facing Emily once again. "Can't it be cured at all?" he whispered, still unable to believe how much Emily's condition had deteriorated. "Isn't there any treatment?"
Emily shook her head sadly. "'Fraid not," she said heavily, "I'm terminal. The Healers in Australia said I had about a year to live back in July – give or take a month. Come the end of this school year – I'll be gone…"
There was a sudden movement as Lily stood up and embraced Emily. Her body shook with sobs, and tears rolled down Emily's blackened cheeks as she clutched Lily, too. Shaken, James hurried forward – he gave Emily's shoulder a tight, reassuring squeeze before rubbing Lily's back comfortingly. He knew that she was sensitive – she was able to stay strong most of the time, and only let her emotions get the better of her occasionally – except her temper, he thought wryly. But it was this empathy of hers that he admired and adored… Selfless up to a hilt, she could sacrifice her own needs for others in the blink of an eye. It was one of the reasons he was so in love with her…
Finally, Lily drew back, and collapsed into her chair, distraught. James raised his wand, and non-verbally Vanished his chair. A second wave of his wand, and Lily's chair transformed into a wide two-seater sofa. Satisfied, he sat down next to her, and put his arm around her comfortingly. She rested her head on his chest, sniffing as he held her tightly, comfortingly – until she was able to regain her composure at last.
"Why didn't you tell us?" she asked Emily, somewhat pleadingly. "Why?"
"Because – I came here seeking redemption, among other things," replied Emily, holding Lily's gaze. "I wanted your forgiveness – without the influence of my condition. I didn't want to guilt you into thinking that you should forgive me – just because I'm dying…"
James could sort of understand what she was saying… Of course, had she shown them her true state before she'd asked for their forgiveness, it would've been very hard to not forgive her out of sympathy. He understood her need to make them understand…
Emily draped her scarf around her neck once again. She closed her eyes, and a second later, her appearance was back to normal. Her beautiful face was unblemished, her hair was back to being blonde and elbow-length, and her lips were rose-red once again. She opened her eyes and answered the unasked question. "It's a complex bit of Human Transfiguration – all I have to do is remember how I used to look before I was Cursed. But it's a cumbersome Spell – wears off after about a day, and the more parts of my body I apply it too, the more exhausting it is. That's why, I settled for the face… And my hands, obviously – I'd look stupid wearing gloves while eating, wouldn't I?"
She smiled sadly as Lily gave a wet chuckle, her cheeks still tear-stained. James pulled her closer to himself. "What other effects do you feel?" he asked Emily, unsure if he wanted to know…
Emily grimaced. "I have to take a potion – it helps with the pain. I'm probably in danger of being addicted to it, but at this point, I don't care – my fate is pretty much sealed." James nodded solemnly, unable to decide which was worse – the things she was saying, or the resigned, matter-of-fact way in which she was saying them. Emily continued, "Plus, my reflexes aren't as good as they used to be – but they're good enough. And while my body is damaged beyond repair, my brain isn't… So, the best way to use that is to teach others what I can do so that I can die in peace, knowing that I made a difference," she added with conviction.
"But – what about your son?" Lily asked her worriedly. Emily took a deep breath. "Martha – my mother-in-law, she'll take care of him," she said heavily. "She was the one taking care of him after David's death – and my abduction. But they got to her – Nick was kidnapped, and she was Imperiused to go along with her daily activities and not warn anyone. When Nick was returned to me, I immediately reached out to her – she was so glad that we were both safe. I'm glad she's accepted me as family." She sighed, relieved. "She'd been cold to me at first, see? She'd even been against David and I being together, back when we were both in school. But David – he was headstrong – and so long as he was there with me, I didn't care if his Mum didn't approve," she added fondly. "After I was reunited with Nick and Martha, I proposed we go to Australia – away from this war that had brought us much ruin. I'd saved some money as an Auror, and the Walcotts were well-off, too… Martha agreed. And so – we moved, to start our new life across the sea."
She drew in another deep breath. "I found a job teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts at Uluru Academy – that's Australia's Wizarding school," she supplied. "Martha took care of Nick when I wasn't around – she's been wonderful, really. She's treated me like her own daughter these past few years – I had a great time in Australia, doing what I love, staying with the people I loved…" She closed her eyes wistfully. "Around Christmas last year, that was when I started to feel the effects of the Curse – again. I'd always known that it was a temporary containment, but I'd never expected my condition to worsen so soon… We tried several treatments, but nothing worked – and in the end, this July, I was told that I only had a year to live."
James squeezed Lily's shoulder as her eyes swam with tears again. He himself felt devastated – with all her faults, Emily was still a competent teacher, an asset to their cause. And to think she would die soon… It was unbearable.
"Is this why you wear the scarf?" he asked her, not wanting to spend more time on the sad secret that had just been revealed to them than absolutely necessary. "To cover your neck?"
Emily gave him a thin smile. "I don't expect you to understand, James… But Lily will." She faced Lily. "A woman's vanity, isn't it, Lily?"
Lily gave a wet chuckle. "For sure," she said, somehow managing to smile through her tears.
"That's one of the reasons, anyway," said Emily, returning Lily's smile.
"Er – do we want to know the other reason?" James asked. He didn't want to sound rude, but he was thoroughly shaken by Emily's revelation.
"That depends," said Emily, suddenly smirking. "Tell me something, James… The Slytherins that we have in the Order – Ashley Bond, Brenda Hastings, Felicity Osbourne –"
"What about them?" interrupted James tersely.
Emily's smirk grew wider. "D'you trust them?" she asked.
Caught off-guard, James looked at Lily for support. Their differences of opinion aside, he didn't think that Ashley Bond was a bad person in general – but he couldn't say that he trusted her. As for the others, he barely knew them – but Lily had vouched for them all, and he trusted Lily's judgement. "Lily trusts them, and I trust Lily," he said, not answering the question directly.
"I asked if you trust them," Emily repeated, clearly enjoying herself.
James considered… Did he trust them? No, said a small voice at the back of his mind. Didn't you voice out your concerns to Lily about including Slytherins to fight against Voldemort? They're Slytherins, after all… Anything could happen. Didn't you resolve to keep a close watch on them if they did end up being recruited?
He slowly shook his head. "I guess not," he said, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lily shaking her head slowly. "I mean – I trust Lily's judgement," he repeated defensively.
"And why don't you trust them?" Emily probed.
"Er – because they're Slytherins," replied James bluntly, deciding to go with the truth. "I don't trust Slytherins as a rule – they're cunning and ruthless, and much more likely to join Voldemort's cause… Plus they're bigoted and prejudiced against Muggleborns…"
"Let me put it this way," said Emily, "If there were four strangers in front of you, one from each of the four Houses – which one would you be least likely to trust?
James thought for a moment before saying unwillingly, "Er – the Slytherin, I suppose." He tried to ignore Lily's annoyed gaze; they'd had this disagreement before, where she prompted him to trust the person and overlook the House, and he rebutted with the sheer number of Slytherins who joined Voldemort every year…
"So – doesn't that make you prejudiced against them?" Emily asked, her smirk at its widest.
"Yes, all right?" said James, with a little touch of irritation. "I'm prejudiced against the dirty House of Salazar Slytherin, and I don't trust anyone who belongs to it – is that what you wanted to hear?"
"Something like that," said Emily mischievously. "Then I'd have to call you a hypocrite – considering you just said that you trust me."
Realization dawned on James. "You – you were in Slytherin?" he asked her incredulously, and beside him, Lily was gazing at Emily in astonishment too, clearly lost for words.
"Yep," said Emily, giving them a little wink. "I'm a Slytherin through-and-through… Ever wondered what my maiden name was?"
James and Lily shook their heads, still disbelieving.
"Parkinson," said Emily with a small smile, "Before I became Emily Walcott, I was Emily Parkinson…"
James simply gaped at her. To his knowledge, the Parkinsons were a rich old family – with generations of pureblood witches and wizards. They weren't explicitly supporting Voldemort, but he'd heard rumours of them providing the Death Eaters with mounds of gold… "So – why do you wear a Gryffindor scarf?" he asked her, wrinkling his forehead.
"I think I know why," said Lily softly, much to his surprise.
"Go ahead and guess, then!" Emily said, grinning.
"Er – it used to belong to your husband, didn't it?" said Lily tentatively, but her voice held an edge of firmness. James realised that she was sure of her guess, and unsure of how Emily would respond…
"That's right – excellent," said Emily briskly. "Mind works the right way, Lily… There's a story behind this scarf, but I wouldn't want to bore you…"
"Oh, no – we won't be bored, we're interested!" exclaimed Lily hastily, and James nodded in agreement. He was curious, too…
"Very well, then," said Emily. "You see – before I came to Hogwarts, I was taught several bigoted pureblood values – the most fundamental one of which was that being a pureblood means you're practically royalty, and everyone else who could do magic – half-bloods, blood traitors and Muggleborns – was beneath us." She rolled her eyes. "When I came to Hogwarts, these values were reinforced by my company – my fellow Housemates, that is. But as I grew older – I began to realise that there was no difference between purebloods and the others in terms of magical ability. I was a shy and quiet girl, somewhat introverted – oh, you may not believe that now, but that's how I used to be," she added, grinning at James and Lily's astonished faces. "I preferred to put my head down, and concentrate on my work, see? I even managed to top the year a couple times, though I was a total mess at Herbology; but then, my best friend at the time usually let me copy her homework when I was stuck…" She winked at Lily, who laughed.
Emily continued, "However, by the time I was sixteen, and a Prefect – I'd started to question the views of purebloods. I couldn't understand why the others were considered second-class – so, one fine day, when I came across three Slytherin fifth-years bullying a little Gryffindor second-year, I whipped out my wand and sent them away – but not before giving them detention and deducting a few points from Slytherin. I even dropped the little boy off to his common room, and he kept thanking me profusely all the time, saying that he couldn't believe how nice I was being to him – despite being in Slytherin. I was shocked, really – of course, there was a rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin, though not as much bad blood as there is now, thanks to Voldemort –" she grimaced, "—but we'd always made fun of them for being too gallant and reckless –" they returned her mischievous grin, "—so it came as a rude shock that even second-year Gryffindors thought of us Slytherins as mean and cold. I brooded over it for a few hours – but eventually put it out of my mind.
"Then – the next day, after our weekly Prefect meeting, David Walcott came up to me. He'd heard about the incident the day before, and he wanted to thank me in person. Oh, David was your typical heartthrob – so handsome," Emily added, her expression dreamy, "Half the girls in the school were head-over-heels in love with him – so, when he thanked me, I felt heartened that the most handsome boy in the school was speaking to me – of his own accord. Oh, and I failed to mention one thing – I had a crush on him, too."
James smiled a little. "Did you tell him – then?" he asked.
Emily shook her head. "Nah – imagine what my friends would've said!" she said feelingly. "And anyway, he was dating someone else at the time, so we formed a tentative sort of friendship and wrote to each other over the Christmas holidays. It was becoming harder for me to continue staying just friends with him, though, given my feelings – but I stuck it out. I'd rather be his friend than, you know – not.
"Then – near the end of our sixth year, he broke up with his girlfriend. He was quite cut up about it, and he poured his heart out in a letter to me. I could see that he wasn't doing so well, so I immediately Apparated to his house. Oh, yes – it was out of character for me, being the quiet, unassuming kind – but at that moment I knew that I cared about him deeply, and I wanted to make sure that he was OK," Emily said, blushing. She ploughed on quickly, "His Dad was home – that was when I found out that his Dad was a Muggle. I asked to see Dave, and Mr Walcott first regarded me with suspicion – then, satisfied that I wasn't the one who had broken his son's heart, his demeanour became much kinder. He said he hoped I'd talk some sense into Dave, who was apparently not eating and sleeping well.
"That was that. I went to Dave's room, and sat next to him. He was surprised to see me there – but the surprise soon gave way to tears. Oh, Dave was a fiery character – fiercely loyal, passionate and someone who loved deeply. He was devastated after finding out that his girlfriend was two-timing him, but he was abhorrent of showing weakness, so he handled it as gracefully as he could… It was only when he was in the company of select people that he showed his actual state of mind, and I realised that I was on this tiny list as he cried over my shoulder that day and I comforted him."
An affectionate smile came over Emily's face. "Well – he became better after that. I saw him every day, though we were careful to hide our meetings from my parents and his Mum, who I was sure wouldn't approve. By and by, one thing led to another – and eventually, I confessed my feelings to him." She blushed. "I even told him how difficult it was to be just friends with him, but I was trying, and that I hoped we could still be friends. I was so afraid in that moment – I felt sure he was going to be all awkward, see? But… His response was to kiss me – then and there." Her blush deepened, but her grin grew wider nonetheless.
"That was brave of him," said James, smiling.
"Yep," said Emily, nodding firmly. "A Gryffindor after all, wasn't he? He said he'd come to like me, too – that I was different, nothing like the stereotypical Slytherin. He was glad he'd gotten to know me, see? Anyway, we kept our romance a secret as our seventh year began – that was my idea, because I didn't want to ruffle any feathers. I became Head Girl, and I was quite content with the status quo; but two months into term, Dave was fed up with girls constantly hounding him for a date – and he told me that he'd had enough. He said that he was going to make our relationship public – very soon. I protested, but eventually gave in with a little bit of apprehension." She wryly raised her thumb and forefinger with a small gap between them, prompting Lily and James to chuckle.
"The first Hogsmeade weekend came and went – we didn't go, instead spending our time walking around the grounds," continued Emily. "We discussed our careers – he wanted to be an Auror, and I was interested in the same thing… Voldemort was getting stronger, though we didn't know how strong at the time. We just saw the results – a spike in attacks on Muggles and Muggle-borns, and we both decided that we'd enrol into Auror training.
"Then came the first Quidditch match of the season. He was Captain of the Gryffindor team – a Chaser just like you, James," she added, giving him a little smirk. "Gryffindor totally trounced Slytherin that day, and I had mixed feelings – I supported the Slytherin team, but I was happy for Dave. But after the match ended, Dave disregarded his teammates and dived – he came to a halt right where I was standing. Then he did something I could never have dreamed of – he removed his scarf from his neck and draped it lightly over mine. Sound familiar?" she added impishly, looking right at James.
"I believe so," he responded, smirking and turning to look at Lily… He was satisfied to see a blush spread across her face, and he gave her a small wink. Emily laughed.
"Anyway," said Lily, in an effort to focus attention away from her, "How did the student body react?"
"Not well," said Emily, shaking her head sadly. "I received a lot of hate from all those girls who had a crush on Dave – plus my own Housemates were disgusted with me 'frolicking around with a dunderheaded Gryffindor'. The worst part was that my best friend of six years also ended our friendship – but I guess I should've expected that, considering that she was a pureblood, too, and a vocal proponent of blood supremacy. Almost everyone in my House ended up ostracising me, and I was hurt and angry – but I began to spend a lot of my time at the Heads' Quarters, and gradually, I learned not to care what they thought."
"Wow – it must've been painful to lose all your friends," said Lily sympathetically.
"Well – they clearly weren't good friends to begin with," said Emily, her mellifluous voice carrying a note of contempt. "Anyway, it didn't matter – in Dave's mates, I found a new set of friends. They were a lot more supportive and accepting than the Slytherins, which changed my perception of Gryffindors heavily, and I started wearing Dave's scarf as my own, with pride." She smiled fondly once again. "We went out for the remainder of the year, did well on our NEWTs, and got into the Auror training programme.
"The next three years were intense, but we got through it – as trainees, we played an active role in restoring order after the pureblood riots of the late sixties, which took place against the Squib Rights marches. Our relationship remained as strong as ever, though I was disinherited by my family and still treated with suspicion from Martha; to her credit, however, she did try to be nicer to me after my family had kicked me out –"
"Hang on," interrupted Lily, "Really? Your family disinherited you?"
"Yep," said Emily matter-of-factly, "That's how little they thought of Muggles and Muggleborns, see?"
"Unbelievable," Lily whispered. James could hear indignation and surprise in her voice, and he squeezed her shoulder once again.
"It didn't matter, Lily," continued Emily, with an indifferent smile. "I didn't care – I had Dave, and so long as I had him, I was happy and content. Once we qualified as Aurors, we began to participate in raids a lot more than, and I had a policy – that scarf he'd given me, it was a testament to our relationship, and how we'd defied the conventional bad blood that still lies between Gryffindor and Slytherin. It was too valuable, see? So, I always left it at home…" She smiled. "I digress… Anyway, we managed to apprehend several Knights of Walpurgis – the precursors to the Death Eaters – before getting married, and shortly afterwards, I became pregnant with Nick.
"During that time, Dave's Dad had passed away due to a heart attack – we tried to treat him at St Mungo's, but it was too late. However, Martha helped me with my pregnancy, and that was when we really started warming up to each other. Then Nick was born, and my happiness was complete. I had a doting husband, a beautiful baby boy, and a mother-in-law who had finally accepted me as her son's wife. Unfortunately, it was too good to last…"
The pain in her voice was unmistakable, and she closed her eyes. "That last raid – see, I shouldn't have been there that night, but it was massive, and there were several Death Eaters doing battle with us," she said heavily. "I arrived to help as part of the reinforcements – but I could do nothing – nothing – as an explosion killed about ten of us – including Dave." She opened her eyes, and the agony in them was unbearable. Lily immediately clasped Emily's hand in her own, and James said, "I'm so sorry, Emily…"
"It gets worse," replied Emily sadly. "In the ensuing chaos, I was captured. I suppose they had a grudge against me – a former Slytherin, a Parkinson by birth, fighting against them? I had to be punished…" She closed her eyes again, and a single tear dropped to her cheeks. "They took me away and tortured me for information. The Cruciatus Curse… It was the least of it."
She took in a deep breath, as though bracing herself. "When the Cruciatus Curse failed to break me, they resorted to cruder means of torture." Her eyes were shut tight, and her face was contorted as she continued, "I was shackled, starved, and made to drink water from a bowl – like an animal. There was no place for me to – you know, to relieve myself, either…" Lily squeezed Emily's hand more urgently, and James felt disgusted, unable to believe what he was hearing. These Death Eaters aren't human, they're animals! he thought savagely.
"That didn't work, either – for I wouldn't yield," Emily ploughed on; it seemed like she was unable to stop talking. "They –" she began to sob a little, "—the same creeps who had attacked that little second-year all those years ago – they did terrible things to me – terrible, unspeakable things… They left me there, helpless and bleeding, every time they were finished with me – so many times… So many times, that I wished I were dead…"
It was as if every word as being forced from Emily. James felt nothing but revulsion as he heard this horrifying tale… Emily began to cry in earnest, and Lily reached her for a hug once again. She stroked the older witch's back comfortingly, and Emily hugged her tightly as her sniffles slowly subsided. James felt horrible; to think he'd been so harsh with her since she'd started teaching them… And she'd seen such unimaginable and abominable horrors. Why, oh why, had he been such a git to her?
Regaining her composure at last, Emily continued bravely, "Nick and Dave – they kept me strong… Kept me going. I simply had to fight – for them. But then…" A devastated look came over her face. "They showed me that they had Nick, and told me that he'd be kept hostage until I agreed to do what they said. For Heaven's Sake, he was only two!" she exclaimed, and the fury in her voice was unmistakable. She shrank back into her chair and ploughed on, "Well – I couldn't resist after that… I still held back on crucial information, though – just gave them enough to think that it was valuable. A true Slytherin trait, I may add," she said, with a wry smile. "Self-preservation…"
"What happened next?" Lily said softly.
"They had a mission for me – to go to Hogwarts and teach, while at the same time mentor a Muggleborn student to pass a test," Emily said heavily. "I dunno whose initiative this was – but I always suspected that git Dolohov, wanting to earn brownie points with Voldemort by trying to destabilise Hogwarts from within, and hoping to incite a riot between purebloods and Muggleborns…" She shook her head disdainfully. "Anyway, if the student succeeded, Nick would be let go. If he failed, or if I went to anyone else with what I was being put through – Nick would be killed." She shuddered. "You already know how that part went…"
James nodded mutely. The last half hour had changed his entire perception of Emily Walcott. He'd liked and respected her when she'd taught them Defence Against the Dark Arts, and he'd been shocked beyond measure when he'd learnt that she was involved in the attacks on innocent students. But he'd known that she was redeemable… After all, she'd made that plea to him and Lily… Hadn't she made them promise that they'd join the fight against Voldemort?
When she'd arrived to teach them that year, though, memories of her betrayal had returned – and while he'd still respected her abilities and competence, he'd treated her coldly, unable to forgive her past misdeeds. But now… Now, he understood. He'd be just as distraught if Lily had been the one held hostage, and if he'd had to undergo the level of torture as Emily – he admitted to himself that he'd probably have cracked long before she had. He felt bitterly ashamed of himself…
"Anyway," said Emily, and James looked up to see that she was smiling again, albeit a little weakly. "That's the story of the scarf. It reminds me of what I had – and it gives me my will to live. Even if I'm dying, I can still contribute to the resistance against Voldemort… Besides, I'm not too worried about Nick. He still has Martha, and his education will take place in Australia, away from all this – and I can make it my remaining life's aim to train young witches and wizards to defy Voldemort, the lousy, fiendish wanker who destroyed my life. What?" she added, evidently at their astonished faces, "Dave had a prolific vocabulary of swearwords!"
James laughed tentatively, and Lily asked, "Did you contact Dumbledore after – after you found out?"
Emily nodded. "Yes – he gave me a second chance. He really is a great man – he believes in second chances." Her voice rang with conviction. "Dumbledore gave me a purpose – besides, he knew that I'd be an asset. I have nothing left to lose, do I? The most dangerous person –" she added slowly, "—is the one with nothing to lose…"
She's right, James thought. Dumbledore knows this, without doubt…
"Well – it's late, the two of you had better get going," said Emily, and stood up. Recognising the dismissal, they stood up, too. "Er – I'm sorry, Emily," said James, bowing his head. "I'm sorry I treated you like that… Thank you for making me understand."
Lily rubbed his back comfortingly, and he appreciated the gesture. He only hoped that Emily would forgive him…
"Forget it," Emily said, and James looked up; much to his relief, she was smiling. "Thank you, truly. The two of you – you'll be incredible fighters, once I'm through with you. They'll have a hard time dealing with you both…"
"Thank you, Emily," said Lily, and a light blush appeared on her cheeks. "And – let us know if we can do anything to – to help, OK?" she added after a pause.
Emily smiled sadly. "It's sweet of you to offer – but there's nothing, really, that anyone can do for me," she said, shaking her head. "My only hope is that I die on the battlefield, warrior-like – and not in a bed, surrounded by people crying over my dead body."
"Don't say that," said Lily firmly. "Don't… Maybe, maybe there's a way…"
James sighed; Lily was still in denial. She hadn't yet accepted that Emily was going to die. Always the optimist, James knew that she wouldn't give up until all hope was truly lost…
Emily shook her head. "'Fraid not," she said, her voice shaking slightly. "But it fills me with joy to see the two of you together… It's wonderful to have more love in this world. It's the most powerful magic in the world, love is…"
Lily blushed even more, and James decided to change the subject; Lily hadn't said 'I love you' to him yet, and he didn't want to pressure her. "Er – Emily, would you like to come over to our house – for our New Year's party? Lily's going to be there, too… Would you like to join us?" he asked.
A ghost of a smile appeared on Emily's face. "I don't want to intrude," she said softly. James snorted and said, "Oh, no – nothing like that, my parents have essentially told me to invite whoever I want. We'd be glad to have you…"
Emily considered. "I don't know…" she said uncertainly, and James understood that she probably wanted to spend it with her family. Nonetheless, he said, "You can celebrate New Year's twice – once in Australia, then again in England, if you grab an early-morning portkey out of Australia!"
"Good point," Lily said giving him an admiring glance. "Oh, just say yes, Emily!" she added impatiently.
"My, your persuasion style needs some refining," Emily said, her tone dry. Lily laughed, as did James. "Fine, I'll be there," said the teacher, and James grinned in satisfaction. "All right! Well – have a good Christmas!"
"You, too – and good luck!" Emily responded, giving him a suggestive wink. He blushed a bit, as did Lily. With a small wave at her, the two of them exited the classroom, and began to walk towards HQ, speaking little… James brooded silently over Emily's tale of woe, and her subsequent acceptance of her fate. Poor thing, he thought… She doesn't deserve this… Immersed in his own thoughts, he didn't realise that he'd arrived at the HQ until the portrait of Antoine l'ambiteux was right in his face, and he followed Lily inside.
"We still have to go for our patrol – in about an hour," he said, consulting his watch. "D'you want something from the kitchens? I'm going to get some coffee for myself…"
"Sure," said Lily, her voice somewhat husky. "Bring me a cup of coffee, too."
Something in her voice made James quickly embrace her, and cling to her tightly. Her body began to shake with silent sobs; she'd kept her emotions in check as they'd walked back, but now… She cried with all her heart. And James simply patted her back and stroked her hair, as tears came to his eyes, too… But he couldn't let her see them. He fiercely blinked them away… If he showed weakness now, she'd feel worse – and he couldn't bear that…
"Wait here," he said, gently lowering her onto the sofa as he drew back. "I'll be back in a jiffy…"
He was as good as his word; he returned with chocolate pie and two mugs of coffee within ten minutes, using his Invisibility Cloak and his favourite shortcuts to the kitchens. He set them down on the little table in front of them, and the two of them drank their coffee silently. Then James decided to ask Lily something that had been bothering him.
"When did you forgive Emily – and begin to trust her?" he asked her baldly. He'd never been one to beat around the bush… Blunt and direct, that's how he was.
"It's been coming for a while," said Lily. She seemed much calmer now, and her eyes were a little red as she looked at him squarely. "I – I've never felt about someone the way I feel about you, James," she said, her words coming out in a rush. James stiffened at once. Was she going to say what he thought she was?
"As I started to feel that way about you, I began to empathise more and more with Emily," Lily continued. "I understood what it was like to feel protective about someone else… How it would hurt me so much if even a hair on their head was turned the other way… I knew I had feelings for you, James," she added, "But as we learned to fight over these past few weeks, the realisation came, too…"
She looked into his eyes directly. He could read a variety of emotions in her beautiful green eyes – sadness, fear, even a hint of anger… But there was also a burning kind of intensity, the kind that came to the fore every time she tried to learn a new Spell or Charm, or when she duelled anyone during their training sessions with Emily… The same intensity that he'd seen in her eyes when she'd kissed him for the first time, under the beech tree… It was her fiery passion, the very emotion that had made him fall in love with her irreversibly.
"This war, it's getting worse," she said softly. "People are dying every day… One may be alive today, and dead tomorrow. There isn't much time – which makes me appreciate what I have even more." She paused. "I know it's a little soon, James – but here goes," she said, her emerald eyes still boring into his own. "I love you," she said quietly.
James felt a plethora of emotions – delight, elation, and a sudden impulse to dance around with joy. Resisting it, he did the only thing that made sense… He bent forward and kissed her gently on the lips.
After several moments (or possibly hours), they broke apart. Lily was gazing intensely into his eyes, and he grinned at her, more in relief than anything else. "I love you, too," he said simply, and a slow smile appeared on her face. Judging by the delight he felt on seeing the smile, he inwardly roared in triumph. The resolution he'd made more than a year ago had never looked more real.
Someday I'm going to marry this girl.
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Author's Note:
Happy New Year, and I hope everyone had a good Christmas. I have now completed three years of writing this story (including the first part), and I'm glad to say that my desire to write more is as strong as it was back then. I apologise for the long month it took me to update, but I was on holiday as well, and it took me some time to catch up on work once I got back. This is one of my favourite chapters, since it gave me the opportunity to provide a backstory to one of my all-time favourite characters. I hope you all like it too, and thanks for reading!
Cheers,
FlashOfFlame