Since I STILL don't own anything, including Zelda, Naruto or Disney (don't ask…), it's time for another disclaimer! Today it'll be done by Gaara!

Gaara: …You just did your disclaimer.

…Hey, yeah! I did! Now to more pressing matters – MY 300TH REVIEW! Yay! (Tosses confetti, blows noisemakers, balloons, hats, the whole deal – Gaara looks at LON with distaste, trying to take off his party hat and brushing confetti off his clothes) Thanks to Laura J. Rie for being my 300th reviewer! Congrats to me – as usual – ESPECIALLY since it's only been three chapters for me to get another 100 reviews! YAY!

Also, Laura J. Rie wrote a poem for me – 'Chapter 19 in a Nutshell'. Check my reviews for Chapter 19 if you're interested in seeing it – I liked it, personally, but I may be a bit biased, seeing as it was written about my story.

ALSO, if anyone's interested, Ocarina of Konoha is now posted at http/ www. freewebs. com/ rockingon/ - if you're interested in visiting, just paste that in the URL and remove the spaces! I'm feeling so popular lately!

Gaara: Start the chapter or she'll never shut up.

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"Are you done yet?"

"Not yet," Hiashi answered irritably. It was clear that Naruto had been asking for quite a while. "I told you, it'll be done in a little while!"

Kyuubi, who was lying on the ground with his wings crumpled, sighed. "Shut up, twerp. You've been asking exactly every two and a half minutes for three days. He'll tell you when he finishes."

"But Kyuubi…" Naruto whined, poking the fairy lightly. Kyuubi yelped in pain and recoiled, and Naruto drew back hastily. "Sorry! I forgot."

Kyuubi was in a rather bad state, having endured twenty-four hours of the Goddesses' 'revenge'. His fragile wings had regained most of their movement, and his tiny glowing body was no longer smoking. He was also able to speak now without coughing up ash.

"Are you done yet?" Naruto looked up at Hiashi again, looking impatient.

"No," Hiashi said vehemently. "I will tell you when I'm done, like the fairy said."

"But you're taking so long," Naruto whined. "Aren't you done yet?"

"No…"

"You ask that one more time and I'll turn this car right around," Kyuubi grumbled warningly. Naruto groaned and sulked, turning his back on his guardian fairy.

All was silent for a while, the only sound being that of Hiashi banging away at the sword with a small hammer. Naruto struggled with himself, and it was quite obvious he was bursting to ask again. Kyuubi watched him out of the corner of his eye. Naruto's face turned purple with strain and small beads of sweat began rolling down his neck.

"…Are you done yet?" Naruto finally blurted. Kyuubi shot up into the air, irritated.

"That's it! You -" he was cut off by the relieved sigh of Hiashi.

"Yes! It's done!" he wiped his brow and threw the sword down at the blonde's feet, muttering 'thank you, Goddesses' under his breath. Naruto jumped up, looking delighted as he picked up the sword with glittering eyes.

"It's so beautiful," Naruto let out a shuddering gasp as he studied it from top to bottom. "Outclasses both the Megaton Hammer and the Master Sword by far. It's six-foot long blade is perfectly crafted to cut down even the toughest of monsters, with perfect balance in every way, and yet it still manages to be light enough to wield easily with two hands. Rather than being a hindrance, the double-handed nature of the sword only serves to add more force to every swing, giving it the perfect amount of strength to make it a clean slash but with enough bluntness to cause pain. The blade itself has been polished and waxed to a shine, and made so that blood slides off the blade rather than stick or stain. The hilt is made with a comfortable and steady grip so my hands are firmly in place and won't slip off in mid-swing. It has double the power of the Master Sword, and it doesn't have those stupid wing-things of the sides of the hilt. On top of all of those features, it's been coated with a mint spray for a fresh scent that also covers up the smell of death, corpses and blood." Naruto nuzzled the sword lovingly, slobbering slightly.

Hiashi and Kyuubi stared. The fairy cocked an eyebrow at the blacksmith, who coughed lightly. "Uh…yeah. It's all of that. I call it the Biggoron Sword."

"Ah," Kyuubi said simply. "Well, twerp, let's put away the new toy and thank the nice Goron for making it for you, hmm?"

Looking very much like an excited child with a new toy to play with, Naruto peered up shyly at Hiashi. "Thank you," he said sweetly.

Hiashi smiled wanly. "Think nothing of it," he said cordially. "You did get me those eye drops, after all. I'm sure you must have had some trouble with that long, irritating side quest."

"Side quest?" Kyuubi repeated, rounding on Naruto. The blonde tucked away his new sword, laughing nervously.

"There was no side quest," he said quickly. "I don't know what he's talking about. Honest. Let's go now, okay?"

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'The Water Temple' appeared across the screen in bubbly, childish writing. Happy intro music played, and Naruto climbed up out of the water with a large, cheesy grin plastered on his face. The boot-switch count at the bottom of the screen read '1' already.

"Well, here we are at the next Temple!" he said brightly. "Gee, Kyuubi, do you think any part of this Temple is going to be hard?"

"Well, Ruto is supposed to be here," Kyuubi said thoughtfully. "She probably grew up nicely…"

Naruto looked confused. "What do you mean, Kyuubi?"

Kyuubi blinked. "What do you mean, what do I mean?" he asked cautiously. "Look twerp, I know you've got the playing dumb thing down, but you can't honestly tell me…"

"Well, come on, Kyuubi!" Naruto tugged on one of his delicate wings. "I'm sure there's lots to do here! Maybe, if we're lucky, we can learn a few things while we go through the Temple, and maybe have a little fun on the way!" he winked at the camera. Kyuubi looked highly disturbed.

"Are you okay, twerp?"

"I'm great, Kyuubi!" Naruto smiled. "Thank you for expressing to me that you care! It's always a nice gesture to ask someone how they are when opening a conversation!"

Kyuubi inched away from him slowly. "Right…anyway, aren't you forgetting something?"

"Hmm…" Naruto tapped his chin, looking up in thought. "Did I forget my Zora tunic?" he looked down at himself and frowned. "No…my Iron boots?" he checked his kunai pouch. "No…hmm…"

"The wings, twerp," Kyuubi said irritably, fluttering his in indication. "I can't go underwater. What do you plan on doing about it?"

Naruto held out an empty bottle. Kyuubi groaned. "Oh, hell no…"

Out of nowhere, a mini hammer appeared a smacked Kyuubi down to the floor, and Naruto and the audience laughed heartily. "Silly Kyuubi," Naruto chastised. "Saying naughty words like that is wrong. Remember kids, swearing is bad and disrespectful!"

Kyuubi froze, eyes wide. "Oh Nayru, we've been rated G."

Naruto scooped Kyuubi into his bottle, corking it immediately afterwards. He grinned at the bottle. "Lucky for us, and Kyuubi, with a little help of a plot device, we can hear Kyuubi talk underwater! With the same plot device, I can talk underwater, too!" Naruto gave the screen a happy smile.

"Oh, joy," Kyuubi said sarcastically. "Some plot device…"

"Now, Kyuubi," Naruto said condescendingly, "every time you scorn a plot device, somewhere a plot dies. We wouldn't want that, would we?"

Kyuubi gave his charge a flat look. "I don't care what happens, I refuse to clap my hands to bring a plot alive."

"Oh, Kyuubi," Naruto chuckled, swimming across the room to the right side of the room. He climbed up the platform. "Hmm…I don't think I'm in the right place, but I guess I'll keep going anyway!" He began whistling cheerfully. Kyuubi spat in disgust, and regretted it immediately when it clung to the inside of the bottle.

"And even now, I'm turning into the hopeless sidekick," he muttered, disgusted with himself. "This can only be the work of a Goddess…" he sighed. "I wouldn't put it past Farore, but now that I've seen what Nayru can do…"

Naruto plunged into the water pit at the end of the hall, sinking down to the bottom with his Iron boots. He rolled along the bottom, laughing merrily.

"This is neat!" he sang. "I can breathe underwater!"

"Very astute of you," Kyuubi drawled. Naruto blinked. Rolling his eyes, Kyuubi said loudly and sarcastically, "I mean, good job, twerp! Let's keep going so we can finish up this little Temple so we can do something fun like milk a goat!"

"That sounds wholesome and entertaining!" Naruto said delightedly. Kyuubi's jaw dropped and he dragged a non-existent hand down his face. Naruto didn't notice as he pulled a large block towards him. It slid into place, sending bubbles spraying up from beneath it.

"Now to find Princess Ino!" Naruto chirped. Kyuubi glared at nothing.

"There can't possibly be so many words for 'speaking happily'," the fairy grumbled disbelievingly.

Naruto dragged himself out of the water pit and ran into the main room, leaping off the side and landing in the water with a loud splash. The boot-switch counter switched to '4' as he equipped the Iron boots to sink down to the very bottom.

"Where did that even come from…?" Kyuubi stared at the counter. "It's completely unnecessary. I doubt that the boots are switched enough times to warrant a counter…"

"Ino!" Naruto yelled joyfully, stopping dead in his tracks. "It's you!"

The naked girl turned around and gasped. As the chapter was rated G, her hair had conveniently grown long enough to cover anything that wasn't generally meant to be displayed. "Oh…you…if I'm right…Naruto?"

"Yes, it's me!" Naruto declared. Ino's expression lit up.

"It's so good to see you!" She gushed. "How are you? Where have you been? Is your fairy okay?" she pointed at the bottle that was slowly filling up with blood. Kyuubi, inside, was cursing – in a G rated way – and trying to stem the flow from his nose.

"How come you aren't ogling?" Kyuubi inquired, throwing his charge a dirty look. "You can't tell me your child-rated mind can't even appreciate…"

"I choose not to ogle her, because doing so would show a lack of respect!" Naruto stated, pumping his fist into the air and giving the camera a wide, cheesy grin.

"Remember kids, showing other people respect is a way to get them to respect you," Ino said sweetly. "If everyone showed respect to everyone else, the world would be a much nicer place! Filled with puppies and kittens and lollipops!"

"Remember the Golden Rule," Haku piped up, appearing out of nowhere, "treat others how you would like to be treated!"

"Alright, that is it!" Kyuubi shouted. "I've had enough of this moralistic happy crap! WHICHEVER GODDESS IS RESPONSIBLE, CUT IT OUT!"

"Uh, Din said she would stop it," Nayru said hesitantly. "She couldn't say so herself – you know, Water Temple and her being the Goddess of Fire and all – so everything should be normal now. Oh, but she told me to tell Naruto that she told him she had been planning something."

"Huh? What?" Naruto blinked, reeling and rubbing his eyes. Kyuubi sighed in relief.

"Thank you," he said. "Congratulate her for me. It was a decent attempt."

Nayru fled, and Kyuubi then turned his attention to Haku, who leaning against the wall looking bored. "How are you even here? We're underwater. You shouldn't be able to breathe."

Haku froze and looked shifty-eyed. "Uh…revel in my mysterious Sheikah ways."

"That's another thing," Kyuubi narrowed his eyes. "The stage directions say you look all shifty, and everyone here knows it, yet you're wearing a mask. How do we know that if we can't see you?"

Looking thoroughly trapped, Haku snapped, "Yeah, well, at least I have a face!" With that, he pelted a flashy Sheikah thing at the ground. It drifted down to the bottom, doing nothing. Haku blinked, obviously having forgotten he was underwater.

"Uh…" Haku looked around nervously at the others, who were staring at him. He cleared his throat and sidled off screen.

"That was a low blow," Kyuubi said finally, sounding hurt. "Honestly…'At least I have a face'…really, what's he trying to do to me, huh? I always thought we were on relatively good terms."

Having come to his senses, Naruto was now staring quite openly at Ino, who was giving him a dirty look and repositioning her hair.

"I don't know what I was thinking," she mumbled. "I'll never get customers like this…" she perked up suddenly. "Oh, but that's right – I don't need customers, because I'm supposed to marry Princess Zelda," she gave Naruto an expectant look. He froze, chuckling timidly.

"Oh…that's right…" he said, rubbing the back of his head nervously. "I, uh, said I would deliver the message…"

"And?" Ino pressed, narrowing her eyes. "Zelda did agree…right? Because if not, I'll be having my Spiritual Stone back." She held out her hand.

"Oh, no, Sasuke agreed!" Naruto lied hastily. Kyuubi gave him a look.

"Twerp, what the hell do you think you're doing?" he hissed.

"Uh, lying," he replied quietly. "Wasn't that obvious? Or maybe you forgot – we never actually told Sasuke about her…conditions."

"Thank you, twerp, but I didn't forget," he ground out. "Why the hell did you lie? Are you trying to get us both killed?"

"Well, since you did what I told you, I guess we can get down to business," Ino said, substantially happier. Kyuubi brightened.

"On second thought, good going, twerp!" he grinned broadly.

"Not that business," Ino rolled her eyes. "Yes, I heard that. Of course, I didn't hear anything before that."

"Oh, good," Kyuubi said lightly. "Not that we were discussing anything of importance. You were saying…?"

"Well, I'm guessing you saw it," she shrugged. "Zora's Domain – totally frozen over! That young man who was in here before, Sheik, saved me from under the ice. Shame he wouldn't let me repay him…" she sighed, a dreamy look momentarily passing over her features.

"Probably knew better, what with his Sheikah wisdom…" Kyuubi mused.

"So, since you helped me out before, I'm going to order you to do it again!" Ino said. "So, Naruto, I order you to save Zora's Domain and kill the big boss of this Temple. If you don't, I'll have you executed!"

Naruto blinked. "But…you don't have anyone to carry out your orders. They're all frozen. You can't execute me."

"Oh, so here you see how illogical that is," Kyuubi muttered. "Seven years ago you freaked out when she said you'd execute you through a message in a bottle, but now…"

"You don't have to carry me this time, if it's any consolation," she snapped. "So stop questioning my execution methods. Just follow me so I can mysteriously disappear for the rest of the Temple."

Rather than wait for confirmation, she began drifting up towards the top. It was then that Naruto noticed the distinct lack of a ceiling. With a shrug, Naruto unequipped his Iron boots and followed.

Naruto popped his head out of the water, gasping for air. Kyuubi gave his a dull look from his bottle.

"You forgot you could breathe underwater, didn't you."

Realization dawned on the blonde ninja and he scowled. "Shut up, I remembered. I just didn't feel like it." He dragged himself up. "I guess I should stick to my usual tactics and just go through the first door I see."

"Why not, that tactic rarely gets us into trouble," Kyuubi drawled sardonically. Naruto burst through the door, Biggoron sword drawn.

"EUGH! Clam creatures!" Naruto whimpered and ducked behind his shield, promptly forgetting his sword.

"Of course they'd be clams," Kyuubi said with a perverted grin. "I mean, Ino was just here, wasn't she?"

Naruto didn't hear Kyuubi's reply, being too busy whimpering about how short life was. Kyuubi rolled his eyes. "For Din's sake, twerp, just kill them. They're hardly anything to worry about, especially with my Guidebook. All you have to do is stick 'em with your Hookshot when they turn around."

Naruto blinked. "That's…it? Really?"

"I'm pretty sure I've said it before, but I'll repeat myself," Kyuubi said plaintively. "Not all of these evil monsters from the deepest voids of hell are tough to kill. I mean, look at zombies from the movies. Provided you don't run into an abandoned house for shelter, all you have to do is knock their heads off. Real difficult when they move as fast as King Zora."

Naruto tentatively drew his Hookshot and speared one of the clams when it revealed it's fleshy pink…weak spot, for lack of a better or more descriptive word. The sharp hook stuck inside it, but Naruto's revulsion.

"Ew…get if off," he said, his face scrunched up. "Gross, it's sticking…"

The clam disappeared, leaving a small heart behind. The Hookshot sprung back, and Naruto shuddered slightly. "Why are the Water ones always gross…?" he wondered.

"I don't think this one's even supposed to be," Kyuubi remarked, filing his claws. "We're just cursed with an author with a sick mind. Chapter fifteen was enough proof of that."

Naruto shuddered. "That was so wrong…" he gasped. "Gross, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit…"

"Then don't think about it," Kyuubi said rationally. "You've never made a habit of thinking before."

Naruto nodded, before pausing. Kyuubi smirked.

"Slow on the uptake, twerp?"

"Kyuubi, you jerk!"

Wisely taking out his indignation on the remaining clam monsters, he speared the very last one, making a horrible squelching noise and killing it. A large treasure chest sprung up in the middle of the room.

Naruto dug out the Dungeon map inside and left still whining, mostly to himself, about how everyone was constantly insulting his intelligence. He may have whining to Kyuubi, but it was very obvious that the kitsune was ignoring his charge.

"Hey," Kyuubi muttered, pointing at the Triforce symbol on the wall with his nail file. "There's a Triforce symbol on the wall."

"The author just said that," Naruto rolled his eyes. "What am I supposed to do about it?"

"Throughout our travels, the Triforce has always indicated you have to play Zelda's Lullaby. It's too bad, too…I always liked the Song of Time better. I wish you had to play that instead. Zelda's Lullaby is just so -"

"Kyuubi, I need to know what to do," Naruto interrupted. "You can criticize Koji Kondo's ability to compose music later."

"Well, I pretty much just told you," Kyuubi shrugged, looking a bit irritated at being cut off. "Play Zelda's Lullaby and see what happens."

Naruto shrugged and took out his Ocarina. Something new appeared in the opposite corner to the boot-switch counter; a 'song counter' went up to '1'.

As the last few notes of Zelda's Lullaby faded away, the water level suddenly began to go down rapidly. Naruto bent over the pit, confused.

"All the water's gone!" he yelped. "How am I supposed to get down?"

"Jump, duh," Kyuubi replied with a roll of his eyes. "Just don't crush my bottle when you do it, 'kay?"

Naruto turned faintly green. Kyuubi stopped filing his claws and gave him a flat look. "Don't tell me you're still afraid of heights! You got the damn Megaton Hammer, didn't you? That fall was practically suicide."

"That's not it," he said, grinding his teeth. "It's just that in my experience, jumping a couple of floors down with no water or trampoline to catch is you is a bad idea that usually makes me end up in the hospital being lectured by Old Lady Tsunade."

Tsunade, in the audience, narrowed her eyes. "I hardly lecture him."

Jiraiya wisely chose not to comment.

"Just jump, twerp," Kyuubi was wheedling on screen. "You can even land on the bottle if you want. It won't make much different, since I've been immortal since chapter twenty."

Naruto froze. "You have? But…back when you were missing…we thought you might be…"

Kyuubi snorted. "You could've asked the Goddesses. Farore's the one that did it."

Nayru voice rang out. "Uh, Farore wants me to relay a message to Naruto – she says, Oh yeah, I did do that. Really sorry to have freaked you out, then."

"I can see why you hate them," he muttered to Kyuubi.

"I don't necessarily hate them," Kyuubi shook his head. "It's just hard to be overly fond of someone whose short-term goals involve making you cry. That goes double for Goddesses. They're supposed to be looking after the world, but instead, they pick on me…" Kyuubi frowned. "Since when have you known about that, anyway? You used to think I was crazy!"

Naruto blinked. "I still don't see why you think they're out to get you, but that's just paranoia," he waved a hand. "They've never actually done anything to you, after all."

Kyuubi's jaw dropped. "What. The. HELL is wrong with you, twerp? Are you honestly so blind that -"

Mustering his courage, Naruto jumped, ignoring Kyuubi. He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself for the landing. Rather than become a red smear on the ground, however, he landed gracefully as if he had jumped from one platform to another. He blinked and opened his mouth.

"Game mechanics, twerp," Kyuubi said before he could even ask. "Physics works differently here. Best not to question it."

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"Well, that's great," Naruto shook his head wildly, sending water spraying everywhere. "That room nearly killed me."

"Only because you tried to fight the currents, you idiot," Kyuubi said unsympathetically. "If you had worked them to your advantage, it wouldn't have taken so long. It also helps if you don't randomly switch back to your Goron tunic underwater."

"I think I look better in red," Naruto pouted. "It's close to orange."

"Don't care, don't do it," Kyuubi snapped. "You got the key, anyway, and that's what counts."

Naruto blinked. "I think the time-lapse overshot a bit. Was I supposed to do that room within or after the cut off line?"

"After," Kyuubi pointed at the boot-switch counter. "It saved them from having to see that." The boot-switch counter now read '22' as opposed to the old '4'.

"I guess that makes sense," Naruto nodded, looking a bit waterlogged. "Where to next?"

"The next accessible room would be that one, since you have a couple of keys," Kyuubi pointed to the room leading inside the large central tower. The Tektites, up above on the top level, were swooping about, looking down hungrily at Naruto. "Uh…you might want to hurry that up, twerp. We're a bit exposed here."

Naruto ran along the bottom to the room Kyuubi had pointed out. He shut the door behind him quickly and took a quick look around.

A block was beneath his feet, completing the platform he stood on. Spikes flanked either side, and other platforms jutted out of the walls, conveniently placed Hookshot targets on each one. Only the first two looked in range of his Hookshot, however; the others were much farther up. On the ceiling was a gold Skulltula, hopelessly out of range.

"Another Triforce symbol," Kyuubi observed. "Hookshot up there, twerp."

Naruto complied, and played Zelda's Lullaby in front of it. The 'You did something right!' music played predictably and the water level rose up about halfway. The block in the platform rose up, leaving a hold where it once was.

"Dive down there," Kyuubi instructed, and Naruto equipped his Iron boots. As he sank drown, Kyuubi groaned. "You might've wanted to make sure you weren't about to land on spikes."

Naruto looked down and screeched, switching his boots once again and swimming over a bit above the platform. The spikes glistened ominously.

"Pay attention much?" Kyuubi asked mockingly. "Honestly twerp, you may as well go around doing everything with your eyes closed." Already seeing that as an opening for a gimmick, Kyuubi added, "Of course, I wouldn't even care if you did so. In fact, I'd probably laugh."

Nayru cleared her throat, coming back again. "Uh, my sisters told me to say, Damn."

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Naruto collected the key and tucked it away, smirking in a satisfied way. "It's a lucky thing I keep cool in these situations," he nodded to himself. "I bet any other hero would've freaked out when I hit that switch and all those enemies swooped down and tried to molest and/or kill me."

"You were screaming and doing the 'No, Go, Tell' thing again," Kyuubi said bluntly. "By some fluke you managed to kill them all when you were thrashing around with your Hookshot conveniently drawn. That's another thing," he frowned. "It makes no sense that you can't draw your sword underwater. What, would that make things too convenient, or too easy, or something?"

"You aren't supposed to question game logistics, Kyuubi," Naruto reminded.

The fairy snorted. "Whatever."

Naruto floated upwards back to the room with the Triforce symbol. He surfaced, swimming over to the platform with a door. The door promptly barred itself barely seconds after Naruto exited.

"Alright, so the water level is up to the middle now," Kyuubi observed. "Not that I really have any idea what I'm doing, but you should go to the left and enter the eastern door. It's accessible."

Naruto began going to the right.

"Your other left, idiot," Kyuubi said irritably. "I can't believe people actually do that…"

Naruto headed left. He swam past the Tektites, who had jumped down in hopes of landing on him, and through to the next room, only having to switch his boots three times. The boot-switch counter went up by three, making the total '46'.

"Ooh, a treasure chest…" Naruto rubbed his hands together greedily as he hopped out of the water. A switch was nearby, with a chest being blocked by a short wall of water on the opposite side. "Wonder what's inside it..."

"Gee, maybe it's the compass, since you don't have it yet," Kyuubi said obviously, rolling his eyes. "Honestly, how did I end up getting stuck with someone as stupid as you?"

Naruto pouted. "You know, Kyuubi, you don't have to be so mean to me. Maybe if you gave me a little more support and encouragement -"

"Okay, that's it!" Kyuubi bellowed. "I'm going to burn all those damn parenting books!"

"Actually, that one was an episode of Dr. Phil," Naruto explained. "It was how to deal with your rebellious teenagers."

Kyuubi gave him a look. "If you ever watch Dr. Phil again, I will disown you."

"According to Dr. Phil, threatening your child -"

"Twerp," Kyuubi interrupted warningly. Naruto shut his mouth obediently and walked over to the treasure chest. He attempted to open it, but withdrew his hand with a frown.

"Ow…the water pressure hurts my hand," he complained. "How am I supposed to get it?"

"Gee, twerp, maybe you could ask that switch over there," Kyuubi said derisively. Naruto frowned.

"Kyuubi, now you're just being silly, dattebayo. The switch is intimate, it can't talk."

"Inanimate, twerp," Kyuubi corrected with an annoyed sigh, "and for your information, that was sarcasm. Hit the switch and the water will turn off. Dead last…" he muttered the last part.

Naruto shrugged and drew his bow, taking careful aim. Already predicting the problem, the author kindly put another cut-off line.

"Hold it," Kyuubi said suddenly, "another time-lapse? Honestly, author, that's got to be the third or fourth one this chapter."

"Relax, Kyuubi," Naruto said soothingly. "There are even more in some chapters."

"Still, if the author keeps writing herself into corners…" Kyuubi growled. "I know I'll take the hit one of these times. I'm practically the scapegoat. When things get stale, the fairy gets hit with a brick, or his wings get stuck, or…"

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"…Or struck by lightning, or drowned, or made immortal, or starts cheering, or singing, or made to…"

Naruto sighed, jumping onto a geyser. "Uh…I know I'm still doing stuff, but I think we need another time-lapse…he's built up a lot of steam," he gave the readers an apologetic look while Kyuubi continued to rant in the background.

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"…Over a teakettle, or stuck in a bottle, or -"

"Kyuubi, the cut-off line is over…again," Naruto interrupted cautiously. Kyuubi stopped mid-rant and blinked.

"…So there was a cut-off line then? I didn't have to do anything?"

"Nope, but you did miss a few rooms," Naruto began to recap. "I got the compass, went back to the place where we saw Ino and went up to bomb a wall and find a key, raised the water to the top, unlocked a door to a room with a huge waterfall and moving platforms with Hookshot targets, went to the other side and unlocked that door, and then got to this room," he indicated below, where there several dragon-like statues with Hookshot targets on them. "Then I got up here, and got your attention because there's a Like-Like and I'm scared of it."

Kyuubi blinked. "You're scared of a Like-Like?"

"It's a freaky molester monster!" Naruto whined, cowering slightly.

"All it does is suck you up and try to take your clothes," Kyuubi rolled his eyes. "You can kill it from here with arrows."

"Arrows work on it?" Naruto looked relieved, but then muttered, "I really wish I'd known that during the Fire Temple…"

He drew his bow. Kyuubi hastily said, "Uh, you know, I'm pretty sure it's dry out there. Well, it's drier out there then it is in here – you never cleaned out the blood from when my nose sprung a leak a while back for completely innocent and non-perverse reasons."

"Oh, right, when we saw Ino…" Naruto blinked. "I guess I can let you out for a bit."

"Good," Kyuubi exhaled loudly. "Now maybe we can do a bit of Z-Targeting, hmm? Maybe that way we'll get out of here sometime before the Water Temple dries out."

Naruto nodded in agreement and uncorked his bottle before frowning. "Hey! My aim's not that bad! I hit a Skulltula in one hit last chapter!"

"I wasn't there to see it," Kyuubi said indifferently. "Now shoot the Like-Like, twerp."

Naruto obeyed, the arrows automatically targeting Kyuubi's general direction. One whizzed past him quickly, piercing the Like-Like directly behind him. Kyuubi shuddered involuntarily. "Game makers really are sick…maybe I should start appreciating this immortality thing…"

The Like-Like seemed to collapse into itself, oozing into nothingness. Suitably satisfied that it was dead, Naruto used his Hookshot to bring himself over the wall of spikes.

"I'm getting a weird feeling now…" he gulped. "My map says we're about to enter a huge empty expanse of room. I wonder what could possibly be inside…"

"New idea, twerp; just go inside and quit freaking out about it," Kyuubi said. "You never bothered contemplating the other side of the door before."

"Conte-what?" Naruto furrowed his brow. Kyuubi smacked him upside the head.

"I'd forgotten how good it feels to do that," he said blissfully. "Let's go, twerp."

He entered the room, Kyuubi trailing behind. Bars slid over the door, making Naruto turn around suddenly. He frowned and turned back around, his jaw dropping as he gasped. "It's so…"

The room was an endless expanse of pale sky and glassy, almost mirror-like water. In the middle, although it seemed to be miles away, was a small patch of land with a dark, scraggly tree reaching up and imposing itself on the sky. Even further past the tree was a barred door.

Kyuubi let out a low, impressed whistle. "Amazing how they managed to cram this into a little Temple. Then again, we should've figured the could do something like that…they managed to make a dungeon out of Jabu-Jabu's digestive tract, after all."

Naruto's footsteps made soft splashing noises as he ran across to the other door, lightly tugging on the bars. "How the hell am I supposed to leave this place?" He whined.

"Maybe you missed something," Kyuubi suggested.

"How could I have missed something?" Naruto rolled his eyes. "There's nothing here!"

"Really," a soft, dangerous voice breathed. The speaker was close to Naruto, and his voice sent fearful shivers down his spine. "I'm hurt. I don't believe I'm nothing…"

"Oh, Goddesses," Kyuubi cursed softly, and Naruto slowly began to turn around, filled with dread, hoping it wasn't who he thought it was…

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Ooh, cliffhanger! That's right, you don't know who Dark Link is! HA! …And, uh, if you do, don't tell anyone. 'Kay?

So, after al LONG while, I updated! Sorry it took so long – my computer's been acting up lately. However, all problems have been fixed and I'll try to get back into my groove!

I love you all, my adoring fans! Feedback is much appreciated!