Hey, Hi, Hello.

So I got a review on the last chapter of TMK (Chapter Twenty Four, Erosion of Sanity) and I felt the need to reply to it quickly. I also know I'm not going to be able to upload this for a while, so I decided to give it it's own chapter. If you don't want to read it, you don't have to. But I feel as if it explains a whole lot, so if you have some questions they may be answered below. There's also some hinted outcomes/future events, so if you don't want to see those don't read it! This is a review response to WhenTwoTearsFall!

~TMK~

~One

*sigh* Where do I start?
I suppose you did a decent job, so I'll just be mixing the good with the bad here in dot points instead of blatantly accusing you.

First things first- I honestly appreciate and am grateful for how honest you are, and the fact you went through the trouble of reading the story, analyzing it, and then typing out a review. It makes me happy to know that you care to that extent, whether it's good or not (to be truthful, I still haven't decided exactly what I think of it). I feel very divided upon it, so I decided to do one of the things I believe I do best- that is, break it down part by part and explain my views on your opinions and the facts you've brought up. I apologize ahead of time about this, because I can ramble on.

~Two

-Detail. Yes, you are time skipping. Do I like it? No, not at all. Because it looks to me that even though you are putting a lot of effort into this fic; you can't be bothered to re-write things out about the original story line to Naruto. Its also coming across to me that you only want to flaunter your OC around, showing how great she is. I appreciate the attempts at not coming across like that though.

The reason I did the time skips was because the parts I skipped wouldn't have varied much, if at all, from the original plot line, so why write what people already knew was going to happen or already happened? I included the parts that changed. If I did anything else, it would have been regurgitating or repeating parts of the story line that would be completely pointless to repeat. I didn't see it as vital to the story line to include those things. However, I will be returning to this story at a later point in time to be editing the story so I can round out the places that are skipped around (an example of one of these future edits will be the 'Invasion of Konoha' arc).

~Three

-Your OC. So. She's emotional. At first she wasn't willing to show her emotions- and I respected her for that. Not much though because even though she realised she had to cover them up a bit so no-one would see them I didn't like her reasoning. Showing weakness. I believe that is a bit ignorant of Kamiko since emotions come naturally and she has obviously changed that. She has gone from not wanting to show weakness through emotions to showing a hell lot of hysteria and 'weakness'. Also, I suspect you may be god-moding your character. Even though she has flaws she couldn't possibly surpass Sasuke by THAT much. And if sh's so all-knowing and observant how could she not have noticed the Hokage and the others looking through that 'crystal ball' of theirs...? And I still think Kimiki should be a bit guilty of killing someone via electrocution. Thats a bit too far and I think even though the guy was out for her blood and he was a bad person by our perspective she should've at least looked back at taking a life. Where has that emotionless front gone? I kind of liked that in her... and the fact that she only showed emotions rarely. It gave a little sense of appreciation for those little things that peaked out at the right times, they were cute. 3

I admit- I messed up in regards to the amount of emotion I showed, and when it was shown. I am human, I have my faults (and this is my first ever fanfiction). And you said you believed it was ignorant of Kimiko to go the whole 'showing emotions equals showing weakness' path. The reasoning for that line of thinking (which fell apart quickly upon the forming of the teams, which is clearly stated in the summary- 'That is, until she gets assigned to her first team.') is because of the environment she was raised in (by that, I mean Masao's harsh training). Essentially, the way it works out, is that Masao's nindo, ninja way, is that 'Showing excessive emotion is weakness.' Due to his influence, brainwashing and physical/mental/emotional torture along with Kimiko's slowly deteriorating mind and body, she has (attempted, really- she pretty much dropped it when the team thing started up (see above!)) adopted it in a much more extreme format. As to her surpassing Sasuke, it was hinted at (maybe not heavily enough, for which I am to blame) that her clan was known for their affinity for taijutsu. As having no Sharingan to put to use for a good portion of his life, and not having the same observational skills as Kimiko, Sasuke really has had only so much to see when it comes to jutsus and therefore would not have the same knowledge of them as Kimiko. For the crystal ball technique, it's called the 'Telescope Technique'. Not much in-depth information has been given, so I operated under the assumption that the person being watched would notice no more than standard chakra fluctuations. It is used for intelligence, after all. So, even if Kimiko was/is being targeted with it, the chakra fluctuations would seem to be completely normal and not of much worth to her at the time-being. No more than a prickling. And don't worry- the guilt will settle in. It's already begun.

~Four

-Romance. Since I am a hopeless romantic I have to applaud you for giving Kakashi and Kimiki (I just realised their names have the same syllables and first and last letter xD) their little heartfelt times together. Hopefully though, Kakashi isn't going to out of character from this relationship because I'm sure that he feels a great deal of comfort around Sasuke and Naruto too. I also like how even though this is a KakashixOC story you have not completely centered it over that and you kept the original focus of the anime/manga- Action and Drama.
Good work. In this area you've gained my lovings

Thanks :D To be honest, that was a complete coincidence. I noticed around chapter six or seven. He might be a bit OOC at times, but I will do my best to keep it at a limit.

~Five

-Plot/story line. How do I put this? A bit cleche in the sense that her family was slaughtered. Since Kishimoto Masashi has already made Sasuke do this I sort of felt that Kimiko and Sasuke would get along. Pity, I was anticipating a heartfelt moment or two to erupt with them. If you count the Forest of Death in the Chuunin exams then I guess its cool right now. The complications are pretty cool here too. She has about two years to live? Though I feel that factor has kind of been forgotten since it hasn't been brought up SINCE BLOODY CHAPTER 3! I also wanted to say that this concept is... a bit strange but it could work. Its not great but it works.

Cliche, maybe (yes) but not entirely out there. The 'dead clan/family/friends' thing is quite common within Naruto. There's Naruto, Sasuke, Haku, Kakashi, Tsunade, and a lot of others. They will have their moments where they really understand each other, though it won't necessarily happen all at once. And all in good time- it will be brought up soon enough. To be honest, I did forget about it for a couple of chapters. But I remember, and it'll all come together.

~Six

-Strategy: There are a few things I wanted to bring up. Sakura being put on Team 8? That... was actually smart. But, considering they are a scout team and having a 4-man squad is completely different, someone should be fussing over them don't you think? The strategy for them would be that Sakura could be the medic nin (in part II of course) and right now with her... whatever the hell she has, she could protect or play a small roll a specific mission. Perhaps with her knowledge she could come up with a decent plan. Though Team Seven stays a bit the same since the skill set is at perfect level... except for Kimiki's taijutsu.

Seeing as they're honestly not the main focus of the story, no. Not now, anyway. Perhaps in a (potential) sequel, once the things that are going on now settle down. Which will not really be any time soon. Though, I will consider (kind of have been anyway, but not too seriously) putting a small portion- maybe a couple of paragraphs or so- in mentioning what's going on with the rest of the characters. I hope that will smooth that area of concern out with you. And I'll try to insert Sakura in a bit, but I can already inform you that it's highly unlikely she'll be doing anything beyond a supporting, small roll on a mission. As for the dynamics of Team Seven- an initial point (and still a major point) of the fanfic was for the alteration to affect the outcome of the story. Kimiko's abilities differ from Sakura's, and her personality is on the far end of the spectrum in relation to Sakura's. This was intended.

~Seven

Also, sometimes this fanfiction has brief moments of wit but then the style of your writing is... dare I say stupidly set out that it makes me believe otherwise. Like the Chuunin exams when Kimiki was talking about electrocution. That was well done, but her little speech almost bored me. I would also like to point out that since they're from Oto they know full well how sound and electrocution travel and conduct. In fact it was mentioned in Chouji's battle too, which Dosu had explained to him that since our body is made up of 80% of water he could easily stop Chouji's moves by simply catching hold of him and using the sound because water amplified sound by... 5 times I think it was?
Kimiki clearly stated that Dosu didn't know how it worked.
I think you need to check your Naruto history missy.

The speech wasn't intended to explain things for Dosu, though it seems that way. The speech- the workings of electrocution, its affects on the body when highly concentrated and amplified by water- was entirely intentional and meant to inform the audience, as in the people watching the match (because she knew people were paying a lot of attention) and the readers. So no, I don't really believe I do. I'm sorry that it was boring, but not everybody will know that.

~Eight

-Personalities: You've done a great job at keeping everyone in character but I feel you haven't let people get depressed over things other than Kakashi and Kimiki. Even Sasuke sounds like hes not teenangst! Kimiki's personality worries me a bit. But it also frustrates me. Shes not very considerate is she... she didn't even consider the fact that people didn't want to hear her worries. Though she's got quite a temper, doesn't she? Most of her thoughts are based on herself or ripping people off. Based on this information, I've deduced that I hate her. Even though she's okay... contradicting I know but this is coming from only one person so others might think differently.

Thank you! (: This story isn't focusing as much on others as it is Kimiko. But yes, that is another of the flaws. I haven't been including the rest of the team's views as I should have. I'm doing my best to correct that error within the upcoming chapters. And yeah, she's far from considerate. She's growing up in a fucked up world and she's a kid. Kids tend to be pretty selfish and tempermental most of the time. However, as she gets older, she'll learn to become more considerate and to tame her temper. It'll take a while, but she will get there. I understand why you hate her, too. I can only hope that most people don't.

~Nine

I hope this review helps you improve. I like this story, but it leaves a lot of room for improvement.
-Kiyoshi-baka

P.S. I would like to say that most of this is based on my opinion. Please don't take it to heart.

I'm doing my best to improve it, and your review certainly is going to help me. I hope my response to your review- how I explained certain things- helped! Once more, thank you for reviewing (: I really appreciate it. While you did come off as condescending at certain points, and it did initially hurt to read it, you were honest and I am so glad you were. Sometimes, when writing, an author really needs stuff like that ^.^ I hope that you enjoy the rest of the story!

~TMK~

NOTE- the next chapter won't be out for a couple of weeks, possibly even a month from now. Gomen T/.\T I have tons of other things to do, and other fics I need to make progress in! Thanks for reading, kiddies 3