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Chapter twenty five

At Karen's

Katie

"What the fuck happened?!" Karen and Effy asked in a choir and I saw a smile spreading wide over Karen's face.

"What?" I asked breathless.

"Your hand is fucking pink." Effy chuckled.

"You fuckers called. That's what happened!" I threw my jacked on Effy.

"I'll tell you again, chillax." Effy took my jacket and hung it up in by the door.

Karen walked in to the kitchen and sat down. I followed and placed myself by the table, still standing. Effy came in and I sat down too.

"This feels like a fucking meeting. What is it about the funeral?" I asked crossing my arms.

If they didn't know it, I had plans. So this had to be important.

Before Karen had a chance to answer my last question I burst out, "It was you the whole time! Do you know what stress you have caused me?" I stared at Karen.

"What?" Karen asked surprised at the change of the tone in my voice.

"It was you right, that called me all those times?"

"Yeah... I've tried to reach you a bunch of times."

"Well I don't have you number, and by the way you called with a hidden number." I said with a blaming voice.

"Sorry, I use to do that, but anyways you are here now." She said and smiled carefully.

"Okay let's cut to the chase." Effy interrupted my and Karen's conversation.

"You loved Freddie, right?" Karen asked carefully.

Yeah, fucking hell, yes I did. Well I still do. But what does that have to do with the funeral? If this was an invitation to the funeral it was a fucking odd way to do it. They could have just sent me a card. But I just nodded to Karen's question.

"Well, do you want to say a few lines about my brother at the funeral?"

"What…?" Me? Talk about him at the funeral?

"I've already asked Eff, but…"

"But what?" I looked at Effy.

She just looked away and took a deep breath.

"I'm not sure I can handle it…" She said after a while.

I let out a silent, "Oh…"

"So, do you?" Karen asked.

I wasn't sure. What would I possibly say? I wasn't even a relative. I hadn't even been his girlfriend when he died. Oh sorry, got killed, murdered. If someone would have the right to say something it would be Effy. She had really loved him. On the other hand I had too.

"I don't know what to say…" I answered.

"But dad and I would really love to hear a few words from the ones that were closest to him." Karen sighed.

"Why don't you ask Cook or JJ? Is Cook even invited?" Effy asked.

"When I called JJ he said that he wasn't able to talk in front of so many people… And I wasn't allowed to speak to Cook, not when it is so close to the trial…" Karen looked down on her hands.

"When is the trial? And is it open for the lot?" I asked.

I had almost forgotten that Cook was in custody. What the fuck happened to John?

"Don't know-"Karen began.

"Yes it's open, and it takes place in two days if I remember right." Effy interrupted.

"Just after the funeral then… Do you think Cook will show up at the funeral?" Karen asked Effy.

"How do you even know this much?" I asked before Effy had a chance to answer Karen.

"I talked to Cook." Effy looked at me." You should at least call and leave a message. If Cook really wants to come he will find a way to do it." Effy said looking between me and Karen.

"When is the funeral?" I asked and looked at Karen.

"Tomorrow."

"Then I definitely won't speak. I don't even know what to say!"

"Okay, then you doesn't have to." Karen said with a beaten voice.

I felt a bit sad to not be there for her. This was hard enough as it was. But I really didn't want to make a fool of myself by talking in front of the whole McClair family.

"How will it be with Naomi?" Effy asked after a couple of silent seconds.

"Didn't she lose her memory?" Karen raised one eyebrow.

"Yeah, but she remembers Freddie… I think." Effy continued.

"Shall I call?" Karen asked.

"I'm not sure she's got her phone. We'd better call Gina."

"I haven't got her number." Karen said.

"We can look it up, or we can ask Emily." I felt as if I wanted to add something to this conversation which had sort of started to leave me out.

"Good. Can you fix it then?" Karen looked at me.

"Yeah." I sent a text to Emily, telling her to call Gina and tell about the funeral, or to at least give me her number.

"Is everyone else invited?" I asked.

"We are sort of late out, aren't we?" Karen said sort of ashamed.

I took that as a no. How the heck did they expect us all to come if they told us about the funeral the day before…?

At the hospital

Naomi

"Come on. You can't sit here forever! Let's go to the hospital restaurant and eat some dinner."

I looked up from my scar. I had looked at my scar constantly since that time I got that flashback that reminded me of Emily. My mum stood by the foot end of the bed and looked questioning at me.

"Well? Wouldn't it be nice with something else than hospital food?" She continued.

She was right, I knew she was. So I got up and walked with her.

"Has Emily…" My voice died out.

"I'm sorry love."

'Doesn't she understand that I need to talk to her NOW?!'

I looked to my right as we passed a little kiosk. A newspaper stand stood at the entrance. And the headline said something about political issues in Iran or something. I hadn't really paid much attention to the newspaper, but the little of it I understood was enough to make me remember something. Or at least I thought it was a memory.

Everything slowly went black, and in desperation I fumbled with my hands in front of me. I got hold of a pair of hands, which I expected was my mum's. She sat me down. And then all the sound disappeared.

"No fucking... you fucking stop!" I cried out.

"No." Emily said and smiled childishly at me.

We sat in our sofa and watched TV. Well, at least I watched.

"Give back the remote, or at least switch back!" I jumped on her and tried to take the remote from her.

"I don't want to watch that political shit of yours. It's fucking boring." She smiled again as she waved the control over her head.

"Oh no, It's interesting." I got hold of her arm wrists and put them together over her head.

She let go of the control which fell onto the floor with a thud. I lay on top of her and pushed her back towards the arm rest. She lay under me and could barely move.

'Ha-ha, one point for me.'

"Ok, ok I give up." She said with a small voice.

'I knew I would win'

"But I won't let you go." I bent over her and kissed her perfect lips.

"I don't mind." She whispered against my lips and kissed me back.

I heard again… I saw again. First I heard, then I saw colours, and finally the colours blended into forms and I could see clearly.

Mum sat bent over me.

'Where am I?'

I felt with my hands around me. And I felt the familiar feeling of the hospitals sheets, the very uncomfortable cotton sheets.

"Love, are you all right love?" Mum sounded worried.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. What happened?" My voice was rough, just as if I just woke up.

"You were gone for forty minutes." I heard a voice that belonged to someone I hadn't noticed.

I tried to lift my head up, but I had no strength at all. I felt all numb and weak.

"I saw something…" I mumbled.

"What exactly did you see?" The voice asked as I heard someone blipping on the machines by the bedside.

"I think it was a memory…" I looked at my mum when I answered because she was the only one I could face without having to make an effort.

"I think you will be fine. Just rest a while until you feel strong enough to stand up." A woman, a nurse, bent over me and smiled lightly.

I had seen a scene of me and Emily together. I took it as a proof that we had had something together. And that something I wanted back, I felt a desire. I didn't want to feel the way I I could I would have let it all go and forget Emily all together… But my desire told me that that wasn't gonna happen.

I heard a song, not just a song. It was mum's ringtone. And then I heard mum talking. 'OMG it can be Emily!'

"Hi…. Yes of course…. Bye." Mum reached out her phone to me.

I snapped it out of her hand and saw from the corner of my eyes how she mimed something. But I didn't interpret what it was.

"Emily?!" I almost screamed to the phone.

I held it so hard my hands cramped while I waited for an answer.

"Oh, nice to hear from you too Naomi." It sounded like Emily, but still not.

It was a voice I had heard before. The voice that sounded like Emily's but without the roughness that was so… 'sexy?' I got surprised over my own thought. I had described Emily to myself as desirable, pretty, lovely and so on, but never as sexy. But maybe that was what she was. Yes she was sexy, and that's final.

But this wasn't her. It was Katie because she had a bit of a lisp.

"Hi Katie… Sorry" I sounded even more disappointed than I had intended to.

"Yeah, well I just want to ask you if you want to come to Freddie's funeral on Karen's behalf."

"Oh…"

"It's tomorrow at one o'clock. Show up if you want to… Emily will be there." And then Katie hung up.