Be My Everything Chapter 25 Impossible Part I, a glee fanfic

A/N: Wow, the last chapter has caused all kinds of reactions. It's fascinating to see how the same scene affects people differently (this is my analytical side talking…) Thanks for you all for leaving feedback.

Now, this has and always will be primarily a Kurtofsky fic; that said … I have broken up Chapter 25 in two parts, which I will post at the same time, as Part I is ALL Seblaine, dealing with the aftermath of Seb's and Dave's encounter from Sebastian's POV and, of course, Blaine's way of dealing with the situation. My apologies to anyone who is not invested in their story but I just felt like it needed to be told and I know it would have bugged me otherwise.

And if Seblaine is not your cup of tea feel free to skip to Part II. You probably will get the gist of what happened between these two as it will unavoidably come up with Kurt and Dave at one point.

Chapter 25 Impossible Part I

Sebastian sighed as he put the phone back in his pocket. This had gone better than he could have hoped. If it had been him he would most likely have hung up on himself the second the call connected but he had to give Karofsky credit for hearing him out. Sebastian hated to admit it but the way Karofsky was handling this whole situation (and Sebastian) was slowly earning him his respect and to say that not many people had ever managed that would be somewhat of an understatement. And how he managed to do so while apparently keeping his integrity intact Sebastian had no idea but he was intrigued by it. Just another layer to add to the never ceasing fascination he had developed with this guy.

It had taken Sebastian almost two hours to work up the courage to make this sordid call. He was not used to humbling himself in front of anyone and each word almost felt like acid on his tongue as he uttered it but the fact was that he would need Karofsky and Kurt, if not on his side at least out of the picture while he tried to patch things up with Blaine.

One thing that had become crystal clear to him was that if he wanted to hold on to Blaine he would need to make some concessions. He would need to at least try to let Blaine in and make himself vulnerable, and most importantly tell Blaine how much he meant to him and how sorry he was. But of course that would have to involve him actually talking to Blaine and he so far had ignored each call and text message. And having gotten into a fight on the Dalton premises and not having been willing to give out any details had led to him getting a hefty detention from the head, so he couldn't just go and see him.

Sebastian was calculating his next moves very carefully despite the fact that he had meant it when he said he would stop messing with Dave and Kurt. But regardless, old habits died hard and even if he was willing to change, personalities couldn't just be altered like a pair of trousers that needed letting out. He had been very comfortable being this sassy cocky person who generally got what he wanted, but leave it to Karofsky to put all that into question in one night when he had managed to penetrate his defences.

Sebastian reluctantly had accepted defeat as far as trying to get Karofsky into bed was concerned, despite still finding him extremely attractive and being kind of borderline obsessed with him. And while he still disliked Kurt with a passion, he knew if he kept on messing with him he wouldn't even need to try to hold on to Blaine. But he hadn't been totally honest with Karofsky either. The main reason why he had called him was not to say sorry and to grovel but because he was hoping that via him word would reach Blaine about him wanting to apologise. As Blaine refused to talk to him directly he had rely on old fashioned Chinese whispers to work. He assumed that Dave would talk to Kurt about their phone call, as he gathered they wouldn't keep secrets from one another but Kurt having been there to listen had been even better. Now all he could do was wait and see if it worked and Blaine would get the 'message.'

Sebastian fell back onto his bed and let out a deep sigh as he stared at the ceiling and allowed his mind for the umpteenth time to wander back to last night and how apparently insomnia coupled with the throbbing pain of a swollen (and as he now knew dislocated jaw) had helped to focus his mind. Some of the words Karofsky had hurled at him had pierced his shell like poisoned arrows and had it left cracked and open and they had been festering away inside of him and he hadn't been able to yank them out of his system no matter how had he had tried.

One of the biggest paradoxes he had spent a good few hours trying to wrap his head around had been the thought of how Karofsky had managed to resist him again for the second time despite having very obviously been aroused. This just didn't compute with Sebastian. It had driven him insane for the best part of the evening as it had put into question everything he knew and had always believed about attraction and sex. Every single time, once he had had a guy at the stage of obvious arousal he knew he had him and that they would pretty much do what Sebastian would ask of them which generally meant sex. So when Karofsky had pushed him away he didn't know what to make of it.

Eventually it dawned on him that the deciding factor that had tipped the scale obviously must have been Karofsky's feelings for Kurt. This special thing they had according to Karofsky clearly must have given him the strength to pull away, to have his mind rule over his body. In hindsight Sebastian couldn't help but be impressed with him and also felt incredibly jealous of that sort of power and control. And more than that, it had made him realise the futility in trying to continue to get Karofsky.

Personally he had never experienced anything like that. His main focus had always been to have fun and generally when he felt things were getting too personal he would move on to the next target. That was how things were meant to work as far as Sebastian was concerned. Guys were there to serve a purpose, to satisfy his needs or to advance his standings in one form or another. And that was all that Blaine was supposed to be, a trophy boyfriend and a good fuck. Why then did he get so irrational and had lost it like he did when Karofsky had brought Blaine up? He had never been touchy about a guy before.

He wished he could just say that it had been because Karofsky's interference had thwarted his plans of going to Nationals and getting Blaine back to Dalton and claim that final victory over Kurt. But truth was when the thought had hit him that he might never be with Blaine again, he felt physically sick and started to panic. Words about how they could have had something special were still haunting him. How did he get to this point without even realising it? Had he really not seen any signs of getting emotionally too closely attached to Blaine? Sebastian couldn't even remember crossing that line from seeing Blaine just as a means to an end to something more. But the way he was hurting now was more than enough proof that he must have indeed at one point crossed it and it was only in some sick twisted way fate and karma were getting back at him by making him realise this now after the horse had bolted.

Bringing his thoughts back to the here and now, he sat up and stared at his phone, thinking about trying one more time to call Blaine and then leaving it for today and trying again tomorrow. Not that he expected to get much sleep tonight but he might as well try as he had nowhere else to go. The Warblers were busy rehearsing something and he just couldn't stomach facing them, knowing full well that by start of next week they would find out that they won't be heading to Nationals after all. Another group of people he had managed to drag into his little vendetta and who now would have to pay the price. And thanks to his face-off with Karofsky he suddenly couldn't help but care. What was it about him that he had been able to get under Sebastian's skin that easily? He sighed and wished that he had never met him. That would have been preferable to having to spend his days trying to work out the enigma that was Dave Karofsky.

He picked up his phone and dialled Blaine's number but wasn't really surprised when he didn't pick up yet again. He threw his phone across the room in frustration and closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind of the multitude of thoughts that were still racing through it.

###

Blaine was shattered. The sun was just about to rise and this had been the second night in a row of him hardly getting any sleep. He had spent most of the night keeping busy with preparing to face Sebastian today. Thankfully Wes and the guys had agreed to help him and hadn't asked too many questions. When they had spoken on the phone Wes had been surprised that Blaine didn't know about Sebastian's punch up and dislocated jaw. Blaine couldn't even get himself to sound sorry for him, and was more interested in hearing about what had actually happened, which had led to Wes coaxing out of him that he intended to break up with Sebastian for 'personal reasons' and fortunately Wes hadn't pushed for any more details. Blaine knew he could have very easily destroyed Sebastian's reputation with the information he had but somehow couldn't bring himself to do so.

Blaine had asked himself more than once why he still felt the need to protect him, why he still gave a damn about Sebastian as his head was telling him that he would more than deserve everything bad that would be coming to him. But Blaine didn't want to lower himself to his level. He just wanted to be able to let go.

Other than speaking to Wes he had avoided all contact with the outside world. After what felt like the millionths text from Sebastian he had turned off his phone and stuffed it under his pillow. He felt a bit guilty for not having called Dave to see how he was doing, and to possibly thank him? Blaine wasn't sure what to feel with regards to Dave. In his head he had gone from bully, meathead, closeted jock and stealer of boyfriends (he knew that one had always been unfair but couldn't help himself) to caring, understanding and protective within a few hours and he still hadn't fully processed that. Also him fighting with Sebastian more fit in with his earlier opinion of Dave and despite his slight feeling of satisfaction at the idea of someone standing up to Sebastian he had never really approved of violence and he would not start now. And he could not face talking to Kurt yet. That last fallout was still too raw. It had felt like Kurt had wanted to hurt him on purpose that time and that was something he had never thought Kurt would do to him willingly.

Blaine spent all morning getting himself ready. He wanted to make sure he would be looking his best for this last encounter. He wanted to show Sebastian that he didn't manage to break him. He put on his black jeans and shirt from their Regionals performance as Sebastian had complemented him on how good he looked in it. Also his hair was product free and his untamed curls were lining his face and falling across his eyes. Sebastian had always preferred him without the gel, something about being able to work his hands through his hair. At the time Blaine had relished in this admission and had felt special and close to Sebastian.

Now it just seemed like a hollow confession. Had he already been thinking about his next conquest, about having sex with Dave, while he was tangling his fingers through his hair while they had been making love? Blaine sighed and had to fight back the tears. All those memories of the times they had sex and how Sebastian had made him feel like he was the only one that mattered were threatening to overwhelm him. He grabbed his things and headed out the front door. He needed to get this over with while he still had the strength and resolve to do so.

Blaine pulled into the familiar car park of Dalton. Although he had only been here a few days ago it suddenly felt alien to him. So much had changed in those last few months since he transferred and now it felt like his last connection to this place had been untimely severed. Yes, he still was on friendly terms with most of his old school friends but it has only been a handful of the Warblers, including Wes, Nick and Sebastian that he had stayed in close contact with.

Blaine exhaled noisily and checked himself over in the mirror one last time. He was going to give Sebastian something to remember him by. Blaine took a deep steadying breath. He would not cry. Well not now. Later he could cry all he wanted to but for now he needed to go in and face Sebastian. He needed closure. Sebastian needed to hear how he literally had reached into his chest and pulled his heart out and stamped on it. And even if Sebastian wouldn't give a damn about how Blaine felt he would need to do this for his own sanity. It would be a way of helping him to try and purge all these feelings from his mind.

Of course Blaine knew that he would not be able to say all these things to Sebastian's face. He was convinced that as soon as he would set eyes on Sebastian he would lose his ability to speak. He always had had that effect on him for good or for bad. But there was one thing he knew he would always be able to do and that was to sing. Blaine didn't care whether that would be cheesy or make him look pathetic or whether people would accuse him of being a drama queen but he could always express himself best in song.

He checked the time. It was almost time to meet Wes. He could only hope that he had managed to arrange everything and most importantly that he had been able to convince Sebastian to attend this impromptu 'meeting' as they had agreed to call it.

He got out and walked across the carpark to the entrance where Wes was already waiting for him. When he saw Blaine approaching his smile literally disappeared from his face and was replaced by worry for his friend.

"Oh man, you do look like shit!" he blurted out before he could stop himself. "Sorry…" he added quickly when Blaine looked like he was about to burst into tears. "It's just … I have never seen you look this upset. Are you going to tell me what has been going on between the two of you? Sebastian looks like he's been kicked in the gut but won't really talk to us other than insisting that he deserved having his face punched in and that really doesn't sound anything like him."

"I … I really don't want to talk about it Wes, especially if Sebastian has not said anything." Blaine sighed.

"But why won't you even talk to him?" Wes enquired. "I mean, he said he tried calling you for the last two days non stop and … "

"I know we kind of dragged you guys into this without giving you much to go by but … I just need to do this. And I can't face him alone … there has been too much ..." Blaine stopped himself from continuing.

"Man what did he do? You sound really messed up." Wes pulled his old friend in for a hug. "And no, I don't expect an answer to that question now. But I'm telling you, if he has hurt you in any way, he better watch out. Warblers don't hurt each other without repercussions. Once a Warbler always a Warbler … maybe that's why we shouldn't be dating one another!" Blaine let out a little snort at Wes' comment. "… and we will have your back if need be."

"Thanks, good to know" Blaine smiled through wet eyes. "But please, there are already too many people involved in this and also I don't want this to escalade. That is probably the last thing I need … more drama." Blaine had to let out a little laugh at his remark. "… Although I know that this is kind of dramatic in itself …"

"Ok, I know when you're ready to talk you will." Wes said. "Come on, everyone else is already waiting in the commons room."

Blaine nodded and together they walked down the familiar corridors of Dalton Academy, their footsteps echoing in the halls and soon enough the approached their destination and Blaine could hear voices in the distance which kept getting louder with each step he took and his heart started to race. Sebastian would be waiting there behind those doors. He saw a group of 5 Warblers waiting for him and Wes outside. These were his oldest and most trusted friends as far as Dalton was concerned and they all had readily agreed to be his backup chorus. They knew of course that that would mean taking sides but despite Sebastian having risen to the top of the Warblers' food chain rather quickly most of them still had reservations towards him. Something which at the time Blaine didn't understand but now he assumed that Sebastian probably had stepped on most of their toes along his rise to the top.

They all hugged Blaine and then all too soon Wes asked him whether he was ready to go in. Blaine nodded and took a few steadying breaths and cleared his throat. His voice could not fail him now.

They stepped through the double doors and immediately all eyes were upon them before zooming in on Blaine. Sebastian had his back to the doors and only when everyone stopped talking and he heard Wes' "sit down everyone, Blaine has got something to say" did he swivel around. Blaine was here!

"Blaine" he shouted out not caring that there were about 15 guys in the room with them.

"I tried calling you and … oh gosh … I am so … sorry." Everyone was watching them and tried to work out what the hell was going on.

Blaine had to gulp when their eyes met. Sebastian looked at least as exhausted as he did and Dave must have hit him well as an impressive purple bruise was framing his jaw and lower lip. Blaine knew he couldn't give Sebastian a chance to speak. He did not want to hear how sorry he was. And Blaine would never be able to believe anything he said again. Not after he had been lying to him for months.

"No Sebastian. I don't want to hear it." He said his voice cracking and wobbly.

"Blaine … but…"

"No … I just came to get closure … I needed to see you one last time … to tell you how you made me feel … to look you in the eyes and …" his voice was giving in.

"Sit down please and listen …"

Sebastian tried hard not to let his disappointment show but nodded and sat down. Most of the Warblers assembled behind Blaine and the ones that weren't singing left the room. Wes had told them that they would only be needed to get Sebastian to come along and despite some raised eyebrows about being left out of the drama they had agreed.

The Warblers started harmonising and Blaine had to steady himself by leaning against Wes as he waited for his cue to start singing. He stared directly at Sebastian who evidently recognised the song and looked at Blaine with a mixed expression of pain and guilt.

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did, I did

And you were strong and I was not

My illusion, my mistake

I was careless, I forgot I did

Blaine's mind was racing. How did he end up here? He really thought they were perfect for each other, that they had it all, how wrong had he been.

And now when all is done

There is nothing to say

You have gone and so effortlessly

You have won

You can go ahead tell them

'Go and tell them how you cheated and lied and probably were laughing behind my back at how stupid I was, at how easily you fooled me, stepped all over me and didn't care about anyone else but yourself.'

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof tops

Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Sebastian gulped and shook his head. He could not stand hearing the pain in Blaine's voice. No, Blaine surely couldn't think that this couldn't be fixed. Sebastian had to fight the tears from forming but he would not give in and cry. His pride would just not allow him to.

Blaine on the other hand couldn't care less about tears and just let them fall. He took a deep breath to start the second verse. With every word he was able to let go of some of his pain and hurt. Just knowing Sebastian was here to hear it helped. He needed to know that it was not ok to step all over people like he did.

Falling out of love is hard

Falling for betrayal is worst

Broken trust and broken hearts

I know, I know

How could he have been so stupid? Images of Sebastian trying to seduce Dave were flashing before his eyes. All the times Kurt had tried to tell him but he just didn't listen and in the process had sacrificed his relationship and almost his friendship as well.

Thinking all you need is there

Building faith on love and words

Empty promises will wear

I know, I know

Sebastian telling him how precious he was to him while he moved inside him, how dared he! Whispered words of affection worth nothing and he had been stupid enough to believe every single one of them.

And now when all is gone

There is nothing to say

And if you're done with embarrassing me

On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof tops

Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Impossible, impossible!

Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

Blaine didn't hold back. He let it all out as his smooth voice filled the room. He had grown stronger as the song went on, his voice was more stable and even while tears were falling he didn't dare look away from Sebastian as he continued to sing. That would have been a sign of weakness. The rest of his friends were backing him up as he went into the repeat of the chorus.

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof tops

Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago

Someone told me I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did

Blaine and the rest of the Warblers let the last note linger and drift across the room until eventually all that was left was silence intermixed with the quiet breathing and the odd sob as Blaine was still staring at Sebastian before he turned and walked towards the big double doors.

Sebastian realised that Blaine was literally about to walk out of his life and jumped up and raced after him. "Blaine, please … wait … let me just talk to you … I've been so stupid … I'm sorry …"

"No, I've said everything that needed to be said. I can't do this anymore Seb. You hurt me too much. Please don't try to contact me." Blaine said as he continued walking.

"I will give you some time … but I can't promise that. I love you Blaine."

Blaine thought he hadn't heard Sebastian right for a second. 'I love you,' what? Blaine stalled. Sebastian had never actually said those words to him. Implied yes but never spoken. He shook his head.

"Don't, please … I can't believe anything you say ever again." Blaine said not meeting Sebastian's eyes but staring straight down the corridor.

Sebastian shook his head. "No, please … I will to whatever it takes … I love you Blaine," Sebastian said again but he didn't follow Blaine and instead watched him walk away and leave.

Once Blaine had left Sebastian ran to his room. He needed to hit something. Despite his feeling of loss and hurt anger was coiling in his stomach. He hit his pillow repeatedly. He was not used to people saying no to him and now within the short span of a few days two guys had turned him down and he hated it. He felt completely out of control and that was freaking him out. He had always suspected there was a reason why he didn't let anyone get close. It was exactly to avoid shit like this from happening. But as far as Blaine was concerned he already was in way too deep. He loved him whether he wanted to or not and he would not accept that it was over now. He didn't know how yet but he would show Blaine that he could trust him.

Blaine had walked straight back to his car and had headed out of the car park. He felt empty and dead inside. He knew it would take him a while to heal from this and just seeing Sebastian had him almost lose his resolve to call it off. You couldn't just turn off your feelings for someone no matter how much they had hurt you. He needed someone to talk to desperately as he wouldn't be able to do this on his own but the obvious person he would have called in the past was Kurt and he just wasn't the right person to discuss this with. He couldn't face going home to have his mom fussing over him and giving him the sad look so he just started driving not really knowing where it would take him.

A/N 2: Can you tell I was getting very emotional while writing this? I blame it on the song 'Impossible' by Shontelle. The minute I heard it I had this whole Seblaine scene in my head and I never thought I would, but I since starting this fic, I actually started really caring for these two guys. I hope the ones of you who like Seblaine enjoyed this, and will this be the end of them? Well …

Now back to Kurtofsky