Never Look Back

Chapter Twenty Five

I had stepped onto the battle field. I had a knife in the waistband of my pants, hidden from view, for when I got to see him. I would kill him.

I had imagined it so many times before; I could imagine his blood all over my hands. I felt like a psychotic killer but the vengeance that I had inside of me pushed me into the stupid decisions that I had made. I didn't know if Daryl would ever forgive me for this but I needed this.

I was stupid, maybe this was how I was supposed to die. Die a hero, I hadn't done anything in my life before this and if I could say that I died saving people. It would be okay for me to die.

I swallowed deeply and kept my eyes straight as I walked over onto their field and put my hands up and stuck my hip out standing there. I was going to give him enough sass that he would gladly give me back to my family, that's what they were. Family.

"You have me, now let Hershel go free to his daughters" I threatened. I looked over my shoulder at the rest of the family, they were getting everything together and I looked past the governor and saw michonne sneaking through the brush, good she had found a way to get out without them noticing. I swallowed hard and watched as the governor motioned for the men around Hershel to take a step back.

"He'll live like I promised. Here" I clicked his fingers as if I was a dog and one of the men pushed the head of his gun into my back motioning for me to get up on the tank with the governor. They were still going to take the prison and now we had walkers behind us.

I climbed up onto the tank and a gun got my attention. I heard the shot and see Michonne on the ground holding her shoulder. Her katana still in her hand as she swings it from her position, taking the guys legs clean off. I push myself up onto the Tank and he grabs me by the waist pulling me up.

"Forward" he yells and the tank starts up. He was going to run Hershel over with is damn tank and take out everyone in the prison.

"NO!" I scream and struggle in his grasp. Hershel is in front of the tank, I reach behind and pull out my knife, swinging my arm around and stabbing the governor in the shoulder. He screams out before falling down onto the tank and throws myself off of it next to Hershel. Grabbing him by his overalls and arm I help him up and try to push him out of the way of the tank in time.

Were on the other side of the tank by the time it mows over our protective fence. The walkers were now going to get in and our prison was ruined, the home.

I pull the gun that was hidden in my shoe and pull it out. I was going to take out as many as these mother fuckers as I could before I went down.

"Get everyone to the bus!" I hear Rick scream and everyone scrambles. The other two tanks have plowed over everything and their troops are moving in.

I take my time shooting those I can in the head when I'm not into hand to hand combat with some of the men; they are not going to get Hershel. Michonne came out of nowhere, taking off one of the men's heads. It was nice to have her back by my side.

"Where the fuck is the governor?" I ask her. Killing him would be the last thing on my list.

"He's over there. Holding that little dead girl" I watch as the tank moves and the governor is cradling a little girl to his chest. The mother is holding onto him like she's a lost puppy and looking for something in him. He doesn't move though and just weeps over her body.

"Go take Hershel to the bus, we need to get out of here" I yell at her and I see the governor shoot the girl in the head and then the woman next to him. He's searching for someone in the crowd and starts making his way towards rick. They had a fight and I should let rick handle it, he's so capable of doing it.

I get caught up when a woman starts shooting at me and quickly hide behind a guard tower. I'm cornered and am forced to watch Rick and the governor beat the shit out of each other until another gun shot is echoed and I hear the strangled cry from Beth. Daryl has his hold tight against her. Michonne has her katana through a walker and a man has shot Hershel in the head. I aim my gun and kill him. I have no remorse anymore, I am a machine.

I know Beth is probably looking for rick and I run towards their wrestling bodies. I turn the side and take a few shots at the woman, shooting her in the throat. I tuck my gun in and brace my body for impact, hopefully not break anything.

I throw myself against the governor who has his hands filled with Rick's blood. I knock him over and soon was rolling over towards another group of walkers. I feel him land on my leg and it kills from his knee pressing it into the dirt. I hear the walkers growling around us and we push over one until we finally stop with our struggle and he presses me down into the earth.

"Shane!" I scream and I see him running towards us, he's got Rick up and moving and the governor has me pinned beneath him. This is it.

"How does it feel to be here again? They're all too busy for you?" He sneers and his lips move against my collarbone. I squeeze my eyes shut, willing myself not to have a flash back. I am here; I am present in this time of day. I chant this over to myself and turn my head. He will not stop me; my rape will not stop me. I can cry another day. I will live another day.

"Phillip, I'm sorry" I tell him sincerely and move my knee closer to my other one and pull up thrusting my knee into his crotch. His face contorts with pain and he lets go of my wrist. I pull my gun out and push it into his mouth. I push him off of me with the gun and push him down onto the ground, sitting up.

My heavy breathing doesn't deter me nor do the walkers that have slowly started to swarm around us, the bullet noises feel like the cease even though I know one of our men is taking the ones out around me.

The noise is dim and I wonder if I have blood in my ears, but maybe it's the moment. I feel a sick smile creep up onto my face and I look down at him with at tilted head. How could this mortal man cause so much havoc?

We weren't inherently bad, he had his good sides but he was sick.

"Taste my bullet" I whisper into his ear, keeping my face next to his as I pull the trigger. The loud noise vibrates through my arm and in my head. The tears of happiness, they've already started to well up in my eyes.

I swallow and look up to see Daryl and Carol there for me. Lifting myself up, I limp over to them and take Daryl's hand. I won't be letting it go anytime soon.

We've began walking towards the bus and carol gives me a quick squeeze before running off to probably find Merle and Judith. Walking through the field I cry out when I see Shane on the ground, he had just been alive helping rick.

"What happened" I whisper out looking at him, we don't stop though.

"We don't know, Rick said a blonde woman shot him and left calling out for Phillip, I guess she didn't realize that ya'll were in a fight" He mumbled and held my hand tighter. I saw the bus out towards there with everyone still gathering supplies.

"Yeh know I blew up a tank with a grenade?" He smiled and nudged me. I giggled, imagining him. Daryl vs a Tank and he won, I wouldn't expect it any differently though.

Suddenly I was on the ground and Daryl was pushed away from me. I looked up to see Andrea with her gun pointed out at me.

"You killed him" her voice was filled with tears and torment. I didn't know what to say, she was sad over the governor.

"Andrea!" I said, I wanted to yell at her that it was me but there would be no way that I would be able to tell her anything differently. Her gun was loaded and she was itching to pull the trigger, my heart beat was moving faster. I thought it was going to jump out of my chest in front of her.

"It's me" I tell her trying to convince her.

"I know it's you Chelle! How could you? You have everything and I finally had someone, someone who was just mine. I didn't have to share him with anyone and then you all come into our Woodbury and ruin it. Now all he could think about was getting revenge. We were going to start a family and be safe. He wanted a little girl. We were going to name her after Amy. How dare you!" she screamed at me and waved her gun in the air. I looked over to see Daryl sitting up, he looked just as shocked, not sure what to do.

"I'm sorry, what do you want me to do? He was going to kill Rick" I tell her.

"I'm going to take away your happiness now." She pointed the gun towards Daryl and my heart and stomach dropped. I slowly got up and limped towards her and she pulled the gun back and pointed it at me.

"No. you won't, that's not what you want. What you want is for me to die. I know you want me to die. You have your shot. Just give me a minute" I beg her.

"You have one minute. You're right, I want you dead Chelle. He should've never brought you back. You should be dead. I don't know how you survived this long." She whispered to herself. I leaned down and grabbed Daryl and kissed him and pulled his hand over my heart.

"You feel it beating?" I whispered to him.

"It's yours" I kissed the side of his head. I wasn't afraid of dying anymore.

It was cliché but I wasn't scared, I felt no fear. The world would be over but I believed that I would live on, somewhere. If there even was a heaven and I'd see them all again sooner or later, living was only temporary but death. That was forever.

I felt myself smiling and laughing gently. My hand was in Daryl's and I was okay.

"What are you laughing at" she yelled at me frantically.

"Chelle no, don't do this" I heard Daryl mumbling.

"I love him, I know that if he died I wouldn't be able to go on living but I know he can. He's a fighter and a survivor. He's my survivor. I'm laughing because were all so obsessed with this part of our lives, this is only temporary. Your breathing is temporary. Death is the truth." I tell her and I smile. I don't want her to hold a grudge against shooting me. She doesn't have to after this, let this free her.

I heard myself praying in my head and doing a few our fathers and hail Marys. I never was one for church. I squeezed Daryl's hand one last time.

"Thank you for our beautiful forever" I whisper loud enough for him to hear and look Andrea in the eyes.

I'm rea—

They say those three minutes after dying your brain functions for 3 minutes after, replaying what you had go on in your life. They're right.

I watched myself grow up, get hurt, abused, then I watched our world go to shit and I watched myself meet and fall in love with Daryl. Life wasn't fair; there were no happy endings because love doesn't have an ending only a middle and a beginning. The time we had though, that was a beautiful forever in such a small time period.

I found myself smiling even in death. That was the truth.

/One last chapter will be the epilogue. It'll be something you guys will enjoy though. I know that you all may or may not hate me but I do have a reasoning for this decision.

It's just not plausible first of for her to have made it through everything, she learned every single time what each sacrifice and self-sacrificing was. The first time then the second and third and now this. She finally realized what it meant; she made a huge character development in just this chapter. She realized what it meant and went through with it. No one came to save her, as much as we know because this is just from Chelle's thoughts. She blocked everything out.

She was okay with dying because she knew that everyone would live on, she died how she wanted to. A hero. She couldn't have died any other way and I can't continue with this book knowing that she was kind of a Mary sue to me with always getting through these situations.

I'm so proud of her though because she even said she put her rape behind her, she put the abuse, the vengeance. She had an intuition it would be her last day. This whole character development I thought was amazing and this is one of my best pieces I've written that's finally finished. I'm really honored most of you stayed with me and I hope you will respect my decision and not write me off as a valid writer.

I hate killing her off but this is the only way I could end this properly.

/Epilogue 10 years later

He had sat there watching over Judith as she played in the field of an old school building. Daryl sat there with his fingers twirling the ring in his palm. Rick came out and scooped up his pride and joy, he watched them, envious of the relationship that he had with her. .

The little asskicker still loved her uncle Daryl though.

The ZA had not ended and they weren't even close to ending it even if they had someone who was going to be able to end it. The cure was still being tested but it was only slightly easier to maneuver through everyone.

They had been traveling with another group though, their leader Joe was trash but they didn't want any trouble, their group was weak from the constant fighting.

It was moments like this that he let his mind wander to his woman. Chelle. She was a fighter and he told stories to Judith every night about something Chelle had done. She was a name that was never said in their family anymore. Only whispers. Everyone was afraid that Daryl may break any moment. He made a small burial for her everywhere that they went though so he could visit her spirit when he had the time.

Today was no exception. When no one expected it he would slip away for a few hours and visit the burial and the special place in his heart where he would let himself cry and grieve.

She was right though, he thought bitterly he was always right. He had carried on with the family and it had been ten years since her death. He was finally starting to feel slightly old too. His bones cracked and not the way they were supposed to either.

With tears in his eyes he straightens the cross that was near her burial site. He kept a small picture buried there and decided today was a good day to unbury it. He always made sure to have it with him but since they hadn't moved for a year he buried it two months ago.

He held the picture in his hands and caressed her face over the photo.

When he heard a noise clicking he looked over his shoulder and saw one of the men from the other camps staring him down.

There were no words exchanged except Daryl's sigh and a small smile tugging at his lips. He felt warmness around him, and he swore it almost felt like her arms once again. He waited for the bullet to hit him but didn't feel a thing, only the tingling warmth of whatever it was.

He didn't open his eyes ever again and lay next to her burial.

At least that's what he saw; he watched his limp body standing there and looked over to see her standing there. A smile playing on her lips. Her hand was tight in his, he didn't question anything though. She was just as beautiful as the day that he met her, her eyes still as fierce and she held a fire in her that had never gone out.

"You've kept me waiting" Her voice hoarse. He looked down at himself and smiled to himself, he looked just as if it was ten years ago.

Nothing was left except his body and her photo when everyone came to investigate the shot. Carol had tears in her eyes as Beth clung to Rick and cried into his shoulder and Carl patted her on the back gently.

Michonne sighed and hung her head and pressed her face into Carol's neck. Merle was not with the group, he had died of a fever one year before.

Maggie held her baby close and Glenn was comforting her. The family stood there with their heads bowed, the only noise was Judith's sniffling.

"I'm sorry ma'am" he managed to say, they watched their family for a few moments before they walked into the forest together, into the silence.

/I know ya'll are even more upset now and I'm so not sorry but I kind of am. I gave them a time to reunite! Be thankful for that.

Slightly cheesy? Maybe but it needed to be done because everyone dies eventually and I had this little moment in my head that when he saw her again he wasn't afraid and he just knew that it was all okay. It reminds me of the quote about soul mates.

You just let out a sigh and your soul kind of goes, oh it's you.

Thank you all so much for reading and supporting me and I hope to have you all again as readers.