Chapter 25
Bright light shone into Gumi's eyes. It wasn't searing as she was used to, nor was it warm and gentle like the sunrise, but bright. Whatever she was laying on was cold. Discomfortingly cold and metallic. She struggled to sit up, but something held her back, tied her to whatever long slab of cold metal she was on. She was chained, her wrists and ankles bound by thick rope.
A wave of panic came rushing up, and she stifled a scream. Why waste the effort if nobody would hear you? She'd seen the kinda neighborhood this was. None of the homes exactly portrayed anyone was there to help or provide any kind of assistance.
Thrashing around she tried to free herself. But the rope was tied, pulled tight, and unmovable by human strength. Still she struggled and when nothing came of it she settled. Breathing in, Gumi assessed the situation.
Short images flashed before her and she remembered. Remembered coming to Gakupo's house, the entering, the locks, the gun, their talk, her truth and then...nothing. Her mind felt a sudden lightness and then dropped heavy hard and blank. It started to pound and if not for her bound hands she would've massaged her temples.
Briefly she started tugging and jerking her arms and legs around again. The rope burn ripped through her clothes and she could feel the bite of it on her skin. Gumi muffled cries of pain and frustration, trying not to make too much noise. Again she thrashed, and again she failed. How was it that one escaped rope? Her gut sunk as facts settled in; you don't. Most people don't ever get in these kinds of situations.
If they do, chances are they're tied up to a chair, post or just plain tied up. Not tied to a cold steel table, in the basement of a psychopath. A man who had been driven to his own insanity due to a serial killer that had targeted him.
Her mind flashed to a drink, and then Gumi remembered being drugged. She'd never wanted the drink, but he'd forced it on her. Her body shuddered at all the unspeakable things that could've happened while she was unconscious. Things like how exactly he had gotten her down here.
She stopped for a second and focused. Waiting to feel any lingering touches of fingertips or any bruises. When she felt none, Gumi went back to thinking.
So, she was still in his house, most likely in his basement tied to a metal table and missing. She hadn't told anyone where she was and at this moment regretted it. She gave one more hard thrash out of anger; the rope didn't move.
Glancing around the room she surveyed everything. The room was a little larger than a bathroom. Yet unlike a bathroom it was deprived of any utilities. Any efforts to paint it were faded, dead, and pealing from the wall. She watched a flake of pealing fall as it landed among the dirt layered floor left of her. There was one small window that looked out on a grove of dead grass. The weeds were too high to be able to see anything out of it. The room smelled like garbage, a heavy and almost sweet scent. The smell of blood also hung in the air.
Hadn't the woman said she'd protect her? But the bite of her own stupidity changed the direction or her blame, and her anger.
She'd been the one to head off in search of Gakupo without telling anyone. She'd been the one to idiotically accept a drink gesture from a mad man. A potential killer. She'd done it, not the woman.
Looking down there was a table full of surgical supplies as well as things that weren't for surgery; chainsaws, monkey wrenches, electrical saws, drills, all kinds of power tools. Her imagination went wild with all the possible uses for them. Nothing other than mutilation came to mind.
To cut and hack off someone's limbs...Gumi shivered. Then she got an idea. If somehow she managed to free her legs or kick off one of her shoes she might be able to reach one of the tools. Anything with a sharp edge would be fine.
Hopefully with a tool she'd be able to cut herself free. How exactly would she do it with her hands and legs bound? She had no clue. However, the idea was a start.
Gumi angled her feet upwards as far back towards her as they would go. She was thankful that today of all days she had decided not to tie her sneakers very tightly. The heels of her shoes hung slightly off her feet and if she was able to stretch just a little farther. Gumi stretched her legs downwards. She felt the strain in the back of her calves, and managed to reach the end of the steel slab.
It took quite a few drawbacks to get both a shoe and sock off at the edge of the table. Once they were off she succeeded in capturing a small screwdriver between her toes. From there she drew an absolute blank. In those few seconds the screwdriver slipped and crashed to the floor with possibly the loudest clang she'd ever heard.
It echoed throughout the thick basement walls and frustrated, Gumi gave out a cry. Instantly she regretted it. Her throat was hoarse, possibly from the drug Gakupo had given her. There was no doubt in her mind that he'd heard her cry.
Gumi jerked and twisted, but her fists still stayed suspended above her.
The thrashing was pointless as much as it was painful; she knew. The scream also had been pointless. Time still ticked on, counting down the minutes she'd still be alive. No one was coming to save her, not this time.
She could desperately wish so for all eternity but that wouldn't change a thing. Wouldn't change the fact that she hadn't left any traces as to where she was headed, just left. Possibly the stupidest move of a lifetime. And now, she wouldn't live to see another day because of it.
There had to at least be someone who would come looking for her. Pain stabbed at her mind and she remembered a phone call. A phone call to...the pain receded and came back worse than before. She bit down on her lip to force it elsewhere.
It hadn't been a call to, it had been a call from...Mikuo! Mental weights seemed to disperse. She'd received a call from Mikuo however, he'd still have no idea where she was. Not even the slightest clue. He'd be looking for her, hopefully, but would she still be alive by then?
She should've left a note or told him then where she was. Why hadn't she? Even in such a rush, thinking would've benefitted her. Gumi sighed.
"Oh darn, you are up." The familiar voice struck fear into Gumi. Her eyes darted to the basement staircase. Long seductive purple hair, eyes, features and a physic she'd been speaking to only earlier filled her vision.
Only difference now was Gakupo was wearing a long coat over the dress shirt and black pants. Not to mention there were no longer any comfortable chairs or chance of escape. Gakupo descended creaky steps and stopped infront of her.
Sheer terror filled Gumi and she screamed, forcing her mouth to form sounds. She struggled and tugged her body. Twisting it and turning. Jerking to get free of the rope.
Gakupo smiled and set a hand on her bare foot. He sighed and took another step. His face filled with confusion when his foot stepped on something other than floor. He bent down and picked up a screwdriver casting a quick glance at Gumi. She stopped dead, dropping silent.
"Now really," Gakupo started. "What were you going to accomplish with this?"
With a light chuckle Gakupo tossed the screwdriver back on the table. He gathered up Gumi's shoe and sock and tossed them into a corner behind him.
"Shh, it's going to be all right," he cooed, patting her shoulder. Sounding calm, collected, all knowing. As if nothing had happened, as if she hadn't tried to escape. Gumi thrashed more and he took his hand off her, making his way over to the table of tools.
She hadn't wanted to cry, she was stronger than that. Always had been, always told herself she was. The fact was no short of true, but her feelings just as they had an annoying habit of doing recently; betrayed her. Tears pooled down her cheeks and she couldn't stop them.
"I haven't operated in a while so you'll have to forgive me..." Gakupo apologized. He turned around wielding a thin syringe filled with a clear liquid.
"I haven't done anything...my parents..." Was all Gumi managed when she saw it. She couldn't die now. Not before she'd found her parents. Not while V was still out there wandering the streets and living among people. The world was unsafe. Unsafe for Mikuo, he'd still be a target all because of her. His family, her family, many more families.
Gumi screamed as loud as she possibly could. If there was even a chance that it was possible for anyone to hear, anyone at all. She screamed louder, longer, thrashing about violently. Wanting to be let up, the rope needed to break, had to break. Still it held her down. Such strong rope would be impossible to break with human strength.
Gakupo walked over with the syringe in hand. He pressed a hand against Gumi's arm, his fingers boring down into her.
"Don't touch me!" Gumi screamed, thrashing about. She needed to escape whatever he was going to inject her with.
"Just relax, if you behave it'll be quick. If you never came here I wouldn't have to do this. Just relax..." It must've been sarcasm as there was nothing relaxing about being tied to a table in some guys house. It wasn't even that it was a strange guy, just being tied down in total.
Her body betrayed her next and grew tired. While she moved, flailed, desperate for escape, for release. The doctor stood watching, waiting patiently for the futile resistance to be over. Finally she stopped, her arms sore as well as her legs.
She felt the rope burn on her ankles and wrists. It singed her, aching pain stabbing at her. She didn't want to die, not before her parents were found. Not here, and not now.
The second time in less than a day she'd meet her death. Mikuo would take it hard...if he ever found her. If anyone ever did. She'd just be placed as missing like her parents, except this disappearance was not by V's hand.
"I can help you..." Gumi whispered, as the doctor inched forward with the syringe. He paused, and she continued. "If you just let me see your files, I can help you. V is after me. The other day, they attacked me...if I just had your files, I might be able to stop them." She'd said so but he looked so dead, so empty as if not human.
Gumi felt the needle invade her skin and panicked. The unknown liquid was being injected into her. She felt violated and ignored, but she couldn't exactly stop it. Couldn't do anything to stop it. Except accept it. Still she rebelled.
Gumi tightened and twisted her arm. The doctor jumped at the suddenness, the needle swayed and crashed to the floor. It's tiny glass shattered and the remaining liquid spilled. She was free of the injection but not unscathed. Bright red leaked down the side of her arm. Gakupo sighed.
"You're only making this harder for yourself. Now you'll just have to feel everything as a consequence." Gumi's body felt slightly limp, but not paralyzed.
"You can't honestly live with yourself after doing this? What about a clean conscience? How do you look yourself in the mirror?" Gumi asked, trying to convince the doctor. Wanting to believe there was still some good left in him. She watched the doctor walk back over to the table of tools. Briefly he leaned on it, staring.
"I don't," he answered simply.
"What do you mean you don't?" Gumi asked. The doctor shook his head and lifted a readied power drill. The sound of it deafened Gumi and it was a wonder how nobody would hear it. "You don't have to do this!" Gumi shouted over the sound of the drill. Gakupo ignored her comment.
"You'll have to feel all the pain of the incision. It wouldn't be like this if you'd have just let me inject the sedative..."
Gumi had stared into his eyes before locking them on the drill. She'd found no guilt or sadness in them. No repentance for anything he'd ever done to anyone. The eyes of a dead man living; blank cold deadness. A person drained of all they ever wanted. Gumi's stomach twisted and she felt sick, terrified. This was how it ended.
The doctor inched forward slowly. Making sure to be precise, exact, and spot on. He must've prided himself on not missing either.
Before he'd made it, his doorbell rang. Gakupo cursed about being interrupted, shut off the drill and went upstairs. Gakupo had made a mistake, a mistake that possibly could save Gumi's life; he'd set the drill down on the metal table, just next to her legs. She didn't have too much time to think and had to work fast.
Nudging the tool beside her left foot, Gumi used her right toe to turn it on. The drill effortlessly cut through the rope and she worked it to her next foot to get free.
The drill easily sliced through the rope, but Gumi found herself watching the staircase. Gakupo could be back any minute and she didn't have much time.
Gumi used her legs to get the tool up past her torso. She carefully worked her knees and brought the drill up to the rope around her wrist. Once cut free she ripped her arm away and used the drill to cut the last rope.
She rubbed her wrists and hopped off the table. The woman hadn't prepared her for this. She hadn't prepared herself for this. Catching V would be dangerous, she'd known so from the start. But she'd never imagined any of this.
Gakupo wasn't just gonna let her walk out of his house. That she knew. From the basement there was no escape. The window was too tiny to even attempt to get through it, and the height kept her from trying. Which meant there was only one way. The last thing she wanted to do.
Reason wouldn't work, not in this situation. Truth was Gakupo had just tried to kill her. Without remorse, without guilt, or repentance. He would've killed her in cold blood. Would still kill her in cold blood.
Gumi didn't want blood on her hands. Not like V, or any other murderer. However, she'd repent. Her parents needed her, and Mikuo's safety was her priority.
Gumi shut off the drill and gripped it tightly between her fingers. She snuck over by the staircase, hiding flat against the wall next to it; waiting. Counting...
Her hands were shaky and clammy, still she gripped the drill tighter. Focusing, preparing. Wishing for a different escape route. But she knew what she had to do, as much as she didn't want to do it. If need be, she'd turn herself in afterwards but not before she found her parents. Not before Mikuo was truly safe, not before she was safe.
Mikuo stepped out of the shower and began toweling off. Something was wrong, something was very wrong. Ever since he'd gotten back and found Gumi had returned and left shortly afterwards, he'd felt uneasy. Even now, that uneasiness was growing.
He wrapped his towel around his waist and reached for another one, vigorously rubbing it through his hair. He placed that one around his shoulders and went to get dressed.
Originally, he'd taken a shower to try to clear his mind. However, being in the shower had caused the opposite effect, Mikuo had thought more. More about Gumi, more about M. He felt really unsettled. As if something was going wrong, very wrong.
Earlier this afternoon he'd almost lost Gumi. She'd still been on the tracks, the subway speeding towards her. Too many emotions to count had flooded his mind at that moment. Any rational thoughts had dispersed and he'd almost gotten back on the tracks with her.
Many different people had held him back. He'd kept shouting about Gumi on the tracks, but when he'd looked up, she hadn't been there. The train came into the station just like it would've any other day. People had looked at him like he was insane.
For a few seconds, he had been. Things didn't piece together. He was sure he'd seen her there, and just the same she hadn't been there. Gumi couldn't have possibly been a mirage. Such a thing wasn't possible when he'd been only holding her earlier.
He'd been baffled by the sudden disappearance to no end. Completely perplexed. Until he'd felt something in his hand. The people holding him had released him and after he'd walked a good distance from the station, from all the stares of people deeming him to be a mad man, he'd taken a look at the paper.
Gumi had left him a note. How she'd done it, Mikuo didn't know. So many things weren't piecing together. Gumi had been on the tracks, she had been there with him at that moment. Mikuo wasn't crazy, and most certainly wasn't insane.
She'd been there, but...how had she gotten out?
He had been more than relieved to find out Gumi was alive. Her voice had soothed his edgy nerves and resounded with his soul. He'd craved to see her. Desperately wanted to pull her into his arms. Feel for himself that she was real, assess that she really did exist. That the fact he'd even considered she was someone his imagination had created was absurd.
Growing up together, all the memories they shared. Gumi's situation, his situation likewise, wasn't something he dreamed up. For a brief second he'd thought all of this. He'd pull her close just to prove his thoughts wrong. He'd also wanted to flood her with endless questions, but he knew she'd explain things to him in due time. Patience was the key.
That phone call had been somewhat of everything to him. His reassurance, his strength, his sanity. However, Gumi hadn't told him where she was, or possibly where she was headed. Something about that didn't sit right with him. It was already so late and she wasn't back yet. All of it felt...wrong.
Mikuo slipped on a final article of clothing and walked over to his bed. He sat down and took his phone off the bedside dresser. Surely there was nothing to worry about, surely. Gumi was fine, probably just wandering the streets.
However, that was a lie. An unbelievable lie and he knew it all too well. Gumi had promised she would no longer walk around at night. Midnight stroll or not. At least not alone; that Mikuo could only hope. But he'd never been good at hoping.
Mikuo had always been somewhat of a rationalist. A tuned into reality kind of person. Good grades didn't come from hoping and praying. You had to work. Just like if you wanted something done. In their situation hoping Gumi was alright, wasn't an okay thing.
Truth was, she'd been gone for hours. He'd called her and texted her, but they'd all gone unanswered. If he didn't go looking for her, he'd be a fool.
Mikuo grabbed a coat and shoved his phone and wallet into his pocket. He set out the door and into the hallway, locking his door behind him.
"Mikuo...?" A voice called, and he knew it. Mikuo instantly looked down the hall. Far in the distance, standing by the elevator was Gumi. There was no doubt in his mind that it was her. That green hair, that figure, wasn't the kind you'd mistake.
"Gumi?" Mikuo sighed. "I was just about to go looking for you. Where have you been?" But she didn't answer, simply turned on her heels and entered the elevator.
"Gumi?" Mikuo called after her. He reached the elevator door but it was already closing. "Hey! Wait a second, hold the elevator!" Mikuo shouted. He caught a glimpse of Gumi between the small slit in the door. For only a few seconds she'd been within reach. The elevator door locked and the elevator ascended to the girls floor.
Mikuo frowned. Why on earth had she ran from him? He'd been so worried about her and yet here she was messing around as usual.
Still, she could've held the elevator for him. Mikuo called the elevator back. Gumi couldn't possibly be mad at him? They'd made up earlier that day so what exactly was going on? Where exactly was she going without explaining things to him?
Before Mikuo had anymore time to think, the elevator was back. He got in and took out his wallet. Swiping his key card before returning it to his wallet. The ride felt long but he drew a blank. He couldn't understand or come up with any reason for Gumi to call his name and then run. None of it made any sense.
He'd just have to catch up with Gumi and ask for himself.
The elevator arrived and Mikuo stepped out of it. Immediately he looked left and right for Gumi. She was lingering down the hall infront of her room door. She reached for the handle and swung the door wide open.
"Gumi? What are you doing?" Mikuo asked. Becoming increasingly more confused by her actions.
"This way," Gumi called, motioning Mikuo over to her. He sighed and jogged down the hall towards Gumi. Before he could reach her she entered her room, he followed after her.
"Okay enough," Mikuo said. "Gumi just tell me what's going on. Where have you been? Why did you jump back on the tracks? Do you know how badly you horrified me? Why was that book so important you were willing to lose your life for it?"
He watched her lift a stack of papers that Luka had left on the counter the other day. She thrusted them in his direction. "We already looked at these the other day, stop avoiding my questions!" Still she thrusted them at him, beckoning him to take them. "I don't get it, what's the difference? What am I looking at?" He asked, staring at her.
Gumi shook her head and took Mikuo's hand. He took note of how deathly cold they were. She placed it on a name; specifically of the retired doctor Gakupo. Mikuo frowned, even more puzzled than before.
She released his hand and pulled the top page away from the stack, revealing a map.
"Gumi...what on earth-"
"I'm here...," Gumi interrupted, abruptly cutting Mikuo off. Mikuo shook his head and looked down at the map. "What's that supposed to mean? Gumi, you're right here." But when he looked up, she was gone.
Mikuo looked around. He checked behind him and briefly went out into the hallway to look for Gumi. There was no sign of her; anywhere.
Mikuo walked back over to the counter gripping the map in his hand. He leaned over and took in a few deep breaths. He needed to calm down and think rationally. Now was not the best time to lose his mind, or chase shadows.
Gumi had been there, she'd been next to him. She'd touched him and he had felt it. However, Gumi's hand had been deathly cold. She hadn't directly walked beside him, but she had interacted with objects. That he was sure of.
Mikuo closed his eyes and drew in one last breath. There was only one way to affirm for sure if what he'd seen was the real Gumi or not.
He set the map down on the counter and scanned over it. Typed finely, almost hidden from the human eye in the top right corner were words. Words that allowed him to instantly know for sure where Gumi had gone.
Last time he checked, original copies didn't have 'copy 2' written on them. A knot tied in Mikuo's stomach and instantly he felt sick. Nausea struck him like weights and he wobbled. He managed to lean against the counter for support.
He hadn't really seen her just now. He'd been following a ghost of her, a sort of mirage. Mikuo dropped his head into his hands. He really was going insane, but that insanity must mean something. Cause, if Gumi wasn't here that meant she really wasn't back yet.
She'd gone off to complete the task they'd originally set out to do without him. The rush of anger came just as fast as the nausea had. However, now wasn't the time to be angry. He had all the time in the world for that later.
Explanations and apologies would all come eventually. Right now he needed to find Gumi. Find her and get her out of whatever the hell she managed to land herself in and take her as far as possible as quickly as he could. Because if he didn't...Mikuo didn't think about that.
He could think up a million possibilities of what to come, and what next. But he had time for that later. Now was the time for Gumi, and that, was the only time he was running short on.
Gumi heard the door open and swallowed hard. Possibly the hardest she ever would in her life. The force of the swallow caused her throat to hurt momentarily and she almost choked.
She didn't want to hurt anyone, but if she didn't fight it would all end here. Then what? How would Mikuo take the news? She couldn't do that to him, she couldn't do that to herself. She wouldn't abandon her parents, she would find out what happened to them. She wouldn't and couldn't let this stop her, and that alone was enough.
Her willpower flooded through her and adrenaline rushed. She wouldn't enjoy doing this. She'd mentally prepared herself as best as she could, but there was never any way. No certain way to prepare oneself to kill or severely injure another human being. If there was a way to prepare for it, she didn't wanna know.
Steps descended the stairs and Gumi held her breath. Froze and stood frozen, but ready to strike. A thumb over the switch. The second she saw a black loafer Gumi stabbed down with the drill.
It sliced through the air and sank into skin. She pulled back in horror and stabbed down again flicking the switch this time. The drill went wild in her hands, and shrieks filled her ears. The drill still twisted furiously with sickening slurps and sloshes, releasing a sound just, if not louder than Gakupo's screams. Wet red stained her hands and finally she pulled back staring at the doctor.
He gripped at his chest, at the bright gushing of red staining his shirt and pooling the floor. They both stared at it in shock and finally he fell with a sickening thud, his gun dropping with him.
Gumi let the drill fall from her hands and clatter to the ground. She rushed over to the corner Gakupo had tossed her shoe in. In record time she had her sock and shoe on again.
She jumped over the doctor, careful not to stain her sneakers or clothes any further. She sprinted up the stairs to the basement door. She threw herself against it and with ease, it fell. Musty air sliced into her lungs as she searched for the exit upstairs.
She made sure not to touch a single thing but she needed the red journal. It was the only thing she couldn't leave without. However, if she was to touch anything she needed gloves. She ran into Gakupo's kitchen and yanked her hoodie sleeves down over her hands. She ripped through drawers until she found some gloves, making sure not to toss anything onto the ground.
Quickly she slipped them onto her trembling hands and threw open doors, ripped through drawers and closets, with luck she found a safe underneath Gakupo's bed. Pulling the safe out from under the bed she carried it out and set it by the front door. She rushed back down to the basement and frantically searched the doctors pockets for keys.
Her breath hitched and her blood ran cold at the thought of him still being alive. However she was just as mortified of him being dead. There was no way he'd have been able to survive that. No man could've, no one could. She'd done it, she'd been the cause. When her hands hit cold metal she gripped and yanked them out. Blood layered her gloves and her hands shook violently around the ring of keys in her palm.
Gumi ran back upstairs and rummaged through keys till she found one that fit the safe. Her hands shook too violently for her to be able to open it, to open anything. Gumi stopped and took a few deep breaths. It didn't clear her mind. Facts remained facts. She'd killed a person, a man. Her hands were no longer clean. She'd killed, just like V.
Gumi forced the thought out of her head. V was a serial killer, someone who killed for personal gratification. Be it mental superiority or physical. She'd used self defense, being left with no other choice.
It was no different from being attacked in the street. She kept telling herself this, but she didn't become calm. She repeated it like a mantra, but the lie stayed a lie. She'd killed. Hadn't even given him a quick death either. Gumi imagined the pain and remembered his screams. They'd haunt her for a life time.
"Self defense," she repeated, "I...I-I had no other choice." She stared down at her hands. The same hands she'd used to kill. They'd stopped shaking. The same hands that would never be the same again.
She took the key and shoved it into the safe. It popped open and too many files to count spilled out. She stood and rushed around the house for a bathroom. Needing to wash Gakupo's blood off of her. She settled for the kitchen sink and thrusted the gloves under water.
Clear and clean water transformed to rich red. A sickeningly dark shade of it. She was wasting time and needed to get out, had to get out, but not before she got what she came for. Blood smeared files would be too suspicious to show anyone. After the water was no longer red Gumi dried the gloves.
Gumi returned to the small entrance and shoved and searched through all the files. Among the files, she spotted her red journal. On the sofa behind her was her bag, all the contents were spilled out over the couch, but there nonetheless. Her cell phone was also among them.
Gumi rushed over and tossed everything back into her bag. The first thing among the files she threw in her bag was the journal, followed by all the files and zipping her bag closed when she was done. Getting the bag on was a chore itself, but she managed.
Gumi searched for the key to the front door on the key ring. Finding it, she slid it into the lock on the door, unlocking it. She pulled the chain off the door, and threw the keys back into the house before opening the door. She closed it after herself.
The second she was down the steps Gumi ripped the gloves off her hands. She flipped them inside out and tossed them into a pocket of her bag. Cold air sliced into her lungs and she tried to forget what just happened. Her mind raced and halted. Then it filled till her head throbbed.
She was out now, she had her freedom. But the price of her life had been another life. Gumi's hands still shook and her body trembled. Gumi hugged herself in an attempt to stop trembling but it didn't work. It was chilly outside and Gumi began walking. She didn't get far before she crashed into someone.
"S-Sorry," Gumi stuttered. Not expecting to bump into another person. Her body jerked and her mind raced.
Had they seen what she'd done? Did they hear the sounds? The horrific sounds that would forever play on in her head? Did they know she'd killed? Was it written on her face? Was she herself, next?
Was this what it meant to go after V? How many more lives would she have to take before she found V? Chilling thoughts settled in the back of her mind. How many lives would it take before killing became natural? How many lives before she was a V herself?
Looking up, her eyes met startled teal ones and she froze. Her breath stopped, and so did her heart. Everything halted until the person she was looking at came into focus. She recognized the eyes and the face that went along with them.
"Gumi?" Mikuo called. "That's really you, right?" He seemed so confused, so unsure. She couldn't understand why Mikuo would ask a question like that. He was the last person she wanted to see right now. It was hard to decide whether to be happy or not to see him.
How would Mikuo react if she told him? Secrets weren't allowed to be kept between them anymore. Gumi was afraid. What would Mikuo's reaction be? How would she react to his reaction? No, she couldn't possibly tell Mikuo. She couldn't tell him anything that happened.
It'd be so much easier to let him go. He needn't be dragged any further into this than he already was. She had no right to make him an accomplice, even indirectly. Mikuo was already in so much danger all because of her. What she'd gotten him into, what she was still getting him into.
Gumi turned away and walked around Mikuo, trying to ignore him. Needing to get away as fast as possible from where she'd committed a crime. Fleeing, she needed to flee. Desperately, she had no other choice. Just like when she'd done it. No other choice.
Such a move didn't and wouldn't fool Mikuo. Not now or ever in this lifetime. Mikuo noticed her trembling and grabbed a hold of her hand. On instinct Gumi ripped her hand away. She couldn't let Mikuo hold those hands, his hands were still clean. If he held her hand, he might become the same. She couldn't let that happen.
Mikuo stared at her, partially hurt, the other half, insanely worried. All this denial and stress, she couldn't hold it all. Dealing with it all herself, was it truly possible this time? How long before she broke down? She backed away and slowly shook her head. Fact was, she was already breaking down. Since a very long time ago.
Again Mikuo grabbed her hand, this time with a lot more force. Gumi spun around and stumbled forward, Mikuo caught her. Holding her there, not quite against her will. She was still trembling, feeling traumatized. She squirmed and wiggled but Mikuo didn't let go. He held her there until she finally gave into him.
Gumi's face was buried in his chest. She inhaled the spicy sweet scent of him and it wrapped around her. Something about it calmed her. Everything about it calmed her. Her nerves on edge seemed to settle in Mikuo's arms. Her swirling mind went blank and then started to feel hazy.
Gumi moved her hands to push herself upright so she could at least stand straight. As a counter measure, Mikuo held her closer to himself, tightening his hold around her. No way of escaping, not this time. Her racing heart started to beat for another reason and a heat started in her cheeks.
She could feel the strong beating of his heart even through his many layers of clothes. The heat of his every breath brushed against her skin. Gumi adjusted her head to stare up at him and immediately her green eyes connected with his teal ones.
Many little things about Mikuo started to stand out. Many things she'd seen but never taken much notice of. His teal eyes seeped down into her own. Drawing her in, pulling her closer and closer. Mikuo didn't say a word, but she could feel his emotions.
His eyes were locked on hers, not looking away for even a second. As if he would miss something if he looked away. She felt him prying far down into the depths of her soul. Ready to ask questions, leaving his mark. Likewise, she was sinking into him, surrounded by a vast ocean that reflected teal and shimmered like gold.
Being lost and allowing him to be lost in return. Such alluring eyes, and even his voice caressed her. Deeply, softly, smoothly.
"Are you done having that little attack of yours?" Mikuo asked, still holding her tightly. A lot tighter and closer than necessary. "You're scaring me."
"I..." Gumi felt her face grow warm. Now was not the time to blush, she still wasn't far from the house. Gumi drew a blank. Possibly the longest blank in her life.
Mikuo had come to find her. Exactly how he had found her, she didn't now. However, all that didn't matter. Mikuo was here and she was in his arms. Safe. At least she felt safe. No other place was safer than this, but she felt exposed. Her mind thought of a barrier, a wall, anything, but it refused to rise.
How easily had Mikuo allowed her to forget? What she'd done still lingered in her mind, but here with Mikuo...Gumi became confused. Again she wondered what was so confusing. She felt weak and leaned on Mikuo for further support. Her head started feeling light, and a sort of haze fell over her.
Gumi placed a hand on Mikuo's chest and he watched her. There wasn't a second so far where she hadn't felt his eyes on her. She felt the heavy racing of his heart and it matched her own. How was it that Mikuo was her..., he was her best...friend? The word didn't fit. He made her feel so different. So...a few tears streamed down Gumi's cheek and Mikuo was quick to wipe them away.
Gumi felt her chin tilted upwards and Mikuo gazed at her. A few more tears rolled down Gumi's cheeks, but this time Mikuo softly kissed them away. A fluttery feeling started in Gumi's stomach. Mikuo pulled her close again, back against him.
"Don't do this on your own Gumi," Mikuo whispered. "Whatever you're planning not to tell me. You can't do this on your own. I won't let you..."
She felt so tranquil in his arms. She could've stayed there forever feeling safe. Feeling appreciated, feeling...Gumi blushed. As much as she wanted to stay frozen in such a moment forever, continuing to feel this feeling in her chest. She didn't have the time; they didn't have time. She also would no longer allow herself the luxury.
Mikuo pulled back, tilting her chin towards him. Locking eyes with her. Except this time, his face was a light shade of red. He seemed to be focusing on something else now. She noticed him moving in towards her.
"Gumi...," Mikuo said, his voice a breathy whisper. "If just once I could..."
"I'm fine now Mikuo," Gumi replied. A startled expression ran across his face. During that his hands loosened and Gumi pulled away from Mikuo's embrace. She turned away to keep from seeing his next expression. Once already, she'd made a fool of herself.
"We...we need to go," Gumi said walking infront of Mikuo. She walked quickly, folding her arms over her chest. Not because she was cold or it was comfortable, but because she couldn't handle another moment like that.
Lately Mikuo had constantly been trying to hold her. She'd been oblivious but now noticed it. Every chance he could he'd reach out for her hand or brush against her. Nowadays there was a lot more contact in their relationship; emotionally and physically. Gumi started to walk faster.
She needed to clear her thoughts, every last one of them.
She wasn't used to so much physical contact, not of this kind. It was as if he was trying to relay some message. Something very important. Mikuo and her were…Mikuo and her could only be…Mikuo was…he was. Gumi shook her head violently. Trying to keep whatever thought from prospering.
"Friend," Gumi mumbled to herself. But the word cut like a dagger, clean into her and burned. She repeated the word once mentally and that too caused her pain. A great deal of it.
She couldn't deny that she was happy Mikuo had come and found her. But it wasn't just that, her feelings were jumbled about the hug. Had it even been a hug? She'd felt intentions much more than friendly, Gumi walked faster.
It had just been a hug. She'd been breaking down so Mikuo had given her support like he always did. There were no hidden feelings behind it; not a single one. Even if her heart had started racing when he'd held her and even now, still was. Even if she had wanted it to last a little longer, a lot longer…
Mikuo didn't like her, not like that. And as far as things went she was sure she didn't like him that way either. So why was it that her heart was beating so rapidly? If she didn't like him that way…why was it that she suddenly wanted to be closer to him as well?
If Mikuo didn't feel that way about her…why did he constantly keep trying to have contact with her? Until she figured things out, for now she'd avoid such contact. For now, she promised herself. For as long as she possibly could.