Where is she?

by AleciaB

Castle and Beckett receive a tip off that leads them to a alley way. But something happens in the alley that changes everything. This story is rated M because it contains subject matter that is for mature readers. it was written to increase awareness and communication about the subject. It does not contain smut.

25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Rick, Kevin and Javy sat at the dining room table in the loft. They had unpacked mini-iPads and iPhones out of packaging, almost as excited as boys on Christmas morning, and were going through the process of starting each of them up.

"I have to tell you guys that the file the thugs were after," Rick said, "is with a software development scientist being put back together by his computers literally bit by bit."

"Good luck with that." Ryan chuckled.

"Yeah, I know," Rick agree, "but the guy who is doing it is a world class expert at computational shape analysis and artificial intelligence design."

"How do you know that will even work?" Ryan inquired, tapping on the white iPhone that was to replace Kate's. He had her existing phone he was duplicating so that the new phone was set up with the same applications.

"I hope it works." Rick replied. "We just need a small break, a small piece of evidence and we have him. Have proof he at least murdered Kate's mother."

"Even if he does find anything we still have to get somebody to agree it's admissible?"

"I will let the lawyer I engaged for Kate figure that out." Richard replied, having already decided he wasn't going waste any energy figuring out the solution. With regard to the chances of the computer guy succeeding, he felt compelled to add, "He did mention that he's assembled documents for an agency not to be named that were shredded and stirred with pieces from a hundred other pages of another document. He calls it something like planar shape analysis." He smiled at the two guys feeling exceptionally intelligent for being able to remember the terms and to also sound as though he knew was he was talking about.

"Yup." Ryan replied. "I've heard about this technology. They use a combination of elastic strings and Monte Carlo simulation together with an analysis of whatever ink or printed shape appears on their surface."

"That's it." Rick agreed. "He uses a parallel processor computer to do it since he can break the shape into fractals. He said he will scan both sides of every piece, then turn the computer loose to see what it can find. He is confident his computers can reconstruct the file as virtual images of the original pages. If there are pieces of paper missing, the file will look a little like Swiss cheese, but he told me he was confident he would get something."

"It's quite effective when it's finished. However, it's high maintenance in terms of the time it takes to achieve the desired results."

"Do you understand any of what Castle is saying?" Esposito asked Ryan putting down the third iPhone that was going to stay with him and Ryan. The third phone was going to be a safe form of communication between the group and would be kept with Ryan and Esposito.

"Of course. Well, I couldn't do it, but I understand the concept enough to be comfortable and to have confidence in the results when he has some."

"It's easy to understand, Javy." Rick smiled. "Ignore the technical bits and follow it generally, right Kev?"

"Yep, just follows the basics."

Rick continued the conversation, noticing that Javy was totally confused and needed to catch up, "The guy is going to contact Kevin once he has results because Kate and I won't be here."

Espo looked at Ryan for a second and said, "Glad it's you, because it makes no sense at all to me. I just want to rip Bracken into more pieces than the file and see how that works for him."

"Right there with ya Javy, but we need to get our hands on him first. We'll get our break." Ryan replied. "I can feel it in my bones, that something's gonna give us the answer."

"Hope so. We could do with a decent break in this one. Need Beckett's memory to come back and for her us to have something concrete." Rick stated, glancing to the bedroom door to ensure Kate was out of hearing range.

"We'll get it." Ryan reassured. "Kate will remember one day. Her phone is ready. Where is she?"

"Packing her case in that room." Rick replied pointing a finger in the general direction of his bedroom that Javy had been using.

"I'll take it to her, see if she happy with it." Javy said.

"All right. Have you finished with that one?" Ryan inquired noticing that Esposito was literally fluffing around the phone.

"No. But you're quite welcome to set it up." Esposito handed over the spare phone to Ryan and with Kate's new white iPhone he left the boys and sauntered into the bedroom.

When he was out of hearing, Rick quietly said to Ryan. "If Kate and I were to stay here, those two would conspire to go rogue."

Ryan looked to Castle and nodded once. "I know. If Kate had been strong enough last week, she would have put down Bracken."

"I agree. If I had half a chance I would. We need to keep them apart, keep their heads in the legal game. I know I'm known for going rogue but not this time."

"I would like to, but that just makes us as bad as him. The day will come." Ryan murmured.

"Chica?"

"I'm here." Kate replied from the wardrobe. She appeared carrying a pile of clothing and walked to her suitcase which was laid out on the bed. She placed the clothes neatly in it as Javy found a place to sit on the edge of the bed near the case.

"Your phone is ready." He passed it to her.

Kate instantly flicked it on and scanned the icon pages. "Cool. It's exactly the same. Thanks."

"Thank Ryan. He did it."

"Thanks Kev." Kate called out then locked and pocketed the phone in her hoodie pocket. They heard Kevin holler something back, then she focussed on Esposito. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure."

"Promise me you will keep this between you and I." Kate murmured. She sat at the other side of the suitcase. "I need to talk to you before we leave." She whispered looking toward the doorway to the living area.

Javier stared intensely into her hazel eyes, thinking her request through for several long seconds. "Kate." He whispered and took hold of her hand that rested on her clothes. He gently shook her hand loosely in a way that told her he was a little unsure of where she was going.

Kate reached for his fingers she held onto tightly and stopped his movement. "Javy, I only trust you." She whispered glancing through the doorway towards where she was barely able to hear Castle and Ryan talking. They were far enough away and distracted enough not to worry about what she and Espo were up to. She held his stare. "I need help to nail him. This time he dies!" She hissed, "and I will never tell anyone what happens."

He broke the stare, his eyes shifting to the wall and swallowed. "Me neither. I will help you when we have the evidence." He looked to her long fingers holding his then back to her eyes fully aware of what she was wanting him to do without her saying it. "I'll help you do it, but you'll do it my way." He paused and fidgeted. "I also have conditions and questions. You have to be straight up with me."

Kate nodded in agreement. "Ok."

"First question." He murmured and listened a moment to ensure Ryan and Castle were still out of earshot. "What do you remember?" He inquired and looked her dead in the eyes.

Kate blinked, swallowed and finally messed with her lip. She breathed in and as she exhaled she replied. "Only what you all know already. I swear. I know you all suspect I remember more than I admit but I don't."

"Yesterday, you implied in the warehouse that you were keeping it quiet that you knew who arranged for your abduction."

Kate nodded. "That I did. I didn't want the SVU's knowing Senator Bracken ordered my abduction and death. He hired the same Russian mafia connected to the ones who came to the beach house with Maddox. He also has someone in the FBI helping him."

"Why didn't you tell the SVU detectives that Bracken is behind it?"

"Because there's no proof Javy, only my verbal account. They wanted to know where the file was and I wouldn't tell them. They told me clearly that Bracken wanted the file I had and as soon as they had retrieved it I was to be killed, at their pleasure. But he was never there. He was never at the warehouse. You know he wouldn't be that stupid."

Esposito nodded his head, yes, and crossed his arms over his chest, "Son of a bitch is clever, I'll give him that."

"He's not clever. He just has others do it dirty work for cash."

"So there is no way of proving he organised it," he stated, "unless the Russians talk and so far they haven't squealed one bit."

"And they won't." She replied, "And if I do say it was Bracken and if the SVU guys even sniff around Bracken he will realise I'm alive because homicide aren't hounding him."

"We don't have anything at the moment to charge him, even if you do say it's him. Just like it is with your mother's murder. We know but we can't do anything."

"Exactly. We only have the fact the Russians are connected to the guys we busted at the beach house and they were so stupid and sloppy with all the evidence they left on me and at the warehouse."

"They planned to dispose of your body, Kate. You weren't meant to live. It's that simple. They probably would have dumped you in the Hudson where all evidence would have disappeared." He said matter of fact. "It's just you tempted them with more money from Castle and he brazenly took on the challenge. None of us thought what he did would work."

"But it did work, as much as I hated him for it yesterday." Kate confessed.

"I agree."

Kate grunted a noise that indicated she was ashamed of her behaviour then shook it off and said, "I'm really sorry I acted up like I did."

"Hey, you've been through a lot. Rick understood."

"By doing it, Castle bought me time Javy and probably saved me from certain death. Their attention was on Rick for a few hours." She paused. "The Russians had it out for me after we arrested the guys in the Hamptons. Bracken knew they were easy to bribe, that with a cash reward, he could make them come after me." She shrugged her shoulders. "I want him dead, but I can wait."

"It's like Ryan said, we don't want to lower ourselves to their level."

"I know, but that's easy to say, a lot less easier to stick to when one has been taken as low as I have been." She said seriously. "I don't remember a lot, but what I do recall and what I saw yesterday is enough to make me want to kill him."

Esposito broke their gaze at each other and looked at the massive elephant print on the wall. A raging elephant that resembled quite succinctly the internal feelings he had about what had happened to Kate. "I know. I can't understand what you went through, but I feel it, Chica. If I ever get the chance to put down Bracken for you, you can trust I will do it."

Kate gazed at him, hooking her hair behind her ears. "I will too." She murmured. "And one day I will learn who the FBI leak is. I will keep a bullet for him. Bracken has someone he's paid off in the FBI who were the first to come to me and tell me I was in danger. Now I know it was all fabricated. Sorenson was unfortunately a victim of it as well and he feels bad about it."

"Sorenson will be ok." Esposito nodded. He thought about what Kate had said. "I want you to go with Castle and stay with him, wherever he takes you. You keep a low profile. I will tell Ryan about Bracken and we will keep it to ourselves."

"Espo, you can't tell anyone."

"It's Ryan. He's us and you know he has great instincts. You stay with Rick. But the moment we find something admissible that links Bracken to what they did to you, something that will let us get a warrant for everything, if we need you, we will summon you back. At the moment, he thinks you're dead and that's ok. He will relax, and hopefully he will make a mistake, because he will think you're not watching him anymore. I want you to hide out with Rick, let that that baby inside you grow and keep a low profile. Will you do that?"

Kate nodded looking at him seriously.

"Promise me you will take care of yourself, Castle and your baby, until we call you back." He strongly reiterated.

"I promise."

"And, when you remember everything that happened, you have to tell the SVU. Everything you know."

Kate stared at him, contemplating the ramifications of that request, and nodded, "I promise, Javy, but I will leave out the bit about Bracken until we have evidence to support me."

"All right. We'll finish it once and for all when the time is right. Even if we go off the grid when it's done." He took her hands in his. "If you need us for anything just phone us."

"I will." She smiled.

"Are you ready to leave?"

"Mmmm… I just have to change my clothes and finish packing." She paused. "I'm scared to leave the security of you guys and I won't have a gun on me, but at the same time I can't wait to get out of New York."

"It will do you good to get out of this city and the loft. A change of scenery is what you probably need to put this all behind you. The reduced pressure may make it easier for your brain to let you remember."

"I agree." Kate stood so she could continue with the packing. "Doesn't change the fact I'm still scared of being alone. Kate Beckett is not accustomed to be scared." She said with a tone of stubbornness. "Castle told me to pack my warmest clothes so we're going where it's cold. Maybe he's gonna hide us in the mountains of Alaska." She scoffed.

Esposito smirked. "Could be."

"We're getting out of New York." Rick almost sang with a level of enthusiasm that surprised Kate. He wasn't making overt gestures that would attract attention, but he sounded extremely keen to go and clicked his fingers in anticipation of the trip. The plane they were about to board from LaGuardia airport was nosed up to the window where they stood, their backs deliberately to the other passengers. It was just after 12.30 pm with less than a quarter hour left until departure time. Boarding was about to commence for business class. Castle leaned toward Kate and said loud enough for only her to hear. "I guess that unlike met trains in New York, planes keep to a timetable." And he pointed to the time on the over head monitor, indicating to her it was running on schedule then smiled at Kate.

"Smart ass!" She mouthed aware he would be able to lip read. He laughed in response and calmly stroked her back forgetting she wouldn't feel it through the protective vest she wore. They were surrounded by men most of them over the height of six foot and all there to protect Kate. It was Will, Kevin and Javy who remained closest and Lanie stood right beside Kate.

At the doorway, Lanie and Kate turned to each other. Lanie started. "Remember, you have to make an appointment to see a doctor in the next week or so and make sure Castle gives you the antibiotics twice a day until you run out."

"I will. Take care of you and thank you so much for everything you have done." Kate hugged Lanie tightly. "I'm sorry for the times I was a terrible patient." She said.

"Apology accepted." Lanie said. "Be careful."

"I will." Kate then moved on to Ryan and his embrace.

"Stay low, Kate." Ryan ordered. "We will find something to convict him. I promise you."

"I know you will, Kev." She felt his squeeze. "Thank you. Please say goodbye to Jenny and thank her."

"Sure."

Kate stepped back glancing to Castle who hugged an oddly upset Lanie. She then stepped to Javy almost jumping into his arms.

He grunted in pain the protective vest she wore caused. "Your vest." He groaned.

"Sorry. I forgot." Kate went to pull back but he kept her there.

"Never mind." Esposito held Kate tightly, placing his hand at the back of her head. "You do as Castle tells you to do. He's got this under control."

"I will." She replied. "I don't want to leave, Javy." She murmured. "I'm terrified of being alone. No protection, no gun."

"You have to hide, Chica. Place your trust in Castle to keep you safe. He has a good place to hide you." Javy encouraged and gave her one last squeeze before he pushed her gently back, looking into her tear filled eyes. "Be strong. Promise."

She nodded, smirked and blinked, then brushed away the tear that spilt from her left eye. "I'll be ok."

"Give her to me, before she cries too much and then misses the damn plane." Sorenson said light heartedly and took Kate's hand drawing her to him. Without a thought she went to Will and encircled her arms around his neck feeling him lift her body off the ground when he embraced her firmly. He pressed his head against the side of hers. "If anything happens and you need help call me. I have people I know who can help you immediately." Sorenson had arranged their rapid process through customs and had also ensured the whole group, none of whom had tickets, got to the departure lounge to keep Kate at ease and protected until she boarded the plane. He was the only person fully aware of Castle's plan.

"Ok. Thanks Will." Kate felt horribly confused and emotional. "Thanks for all your help." She was leaving the city with the person she wanted to be with the most but she was reluctantly leaving the people she wanted to stay and be safe with. She couldn't help the tears flowed from her eyes, because of the fact she was terrified of leaving the protection they selflessly gave her. She knew they were about to expose themselves, risk their own safety to be out of sight and hopefully safer than if they remained in the city. They guys had to resume their lives in New York as though Kate had died. She understood that but it was still difficult to face the plan as it was becoming a reality.

As far as the public knew, a private ceremony and funeral had taken place that morning. Castle had told anyone that needed to know he was travelling to the Hamptons to stay there indefinitely. His car, driven by an FBI agent, had left the loft building just prior to midday and was currently on its way to the beach house. The car was going to be left in the garage. Castle had the spare keys and the keys to the house if they needed to access the property.

"C'mon, Kate." Castle said placing his hand on Kate's shoulder to urge her to follow him. "We need to board the plane."

Kate gripped Will tighter and he held her firmly looking to Castle with worry. "Kate. You have to leave." He encouraged and set her back to her feet.

"I can't." She said to Will. "I'm being exposed." She whispered.

"You will be safe on the plane. My guys will be there until you land." Will pried Kate loose from his neck then stood her back towards Castle who simultaneously reached around Kate's waist and drew her to him.

"Come on Kate. We need to go." Castle stated. "Let's go." Maintaining a firm hold of her he walked toward the ticket area taking her with him. He held her about the waist until she was inside the door way of the passage to the plane. Once the group were out of Kate's eyesight, she sought Rick's hand she held firmly and continued with him and the two FBI agents along the walkway to the plane.

Inside the 737 a hostess checked their seat allocation and pointed them to the nose of the plane. Rick followed Kate up the aisle inside the plane, with the FBI agents behind him. They soon found their seats. "Go to the window seat Babe." He requested and Kate stepped across to the window chair.

The FBI agents took their seats in the row behind Kate and Rick.

"This is nice." He stated looking about them. "Plenty of leg room." He took off his coat and folded it up into the overhead compartment.

"There is." Kate replied. She had taken her coat off and passed to him and was busy pulling the velcrove loose on her vest so she could get it off. He wrapped the vest in her coat and stuffed them both into the overhead. She sat on the seat, already tired from the activities of the day. She looked about at the space they did have. There was a window to her right.

"You ok?" He asked, noticing she'd already calmed down a lot since he'd pried her from Sorenson. He sat beside Kate.

She nodded. "It's just a little daunting being thrown on a plane when I have been wrapped in cotton wool for days on end protected by half a dozen guys with guns."

"Mmm… well, when you say it like that, yes it does make sense you would be afraid. But we have the two man detail until we arrive in Montreal." Rick looked about. The business class area was virtually empty and when he peered to the standard class he saw the plane was only at about forty per cent of capacity.

"And our secret identities." She replied in a whisper ensuring no one else heard her. "I can't believe Sorenson made us married."

"Maybe he thought it was more practical, as married couples tend to not attract attention."

Kate grunted in thought then asked in a quiet voice so only Rick would hear, "But what about the names? Like, Jaime and Chris Williams? Where did that come from?"

"That is simply Sorenson's sense of humour at work." Castle replied smiling to himself. Sorenson, with the assistance of a couple of very reliable contacts, had provided them with fake driver's licences, credit cards, passports and medical insurance identities all of which were usable. It was the names he'd used that amused Rick, but Kate didn't understand the context of Will's humour. "You're probably not quite old enough to appreciate Will's joke. He's showing his age by referring to an old seventies TV show. Kind of poking fun at us," he commented, "but they will get us over the border without being picked up by any rogue officers in customs."

"We got through this end." She replied.

"We did, Mrs Williams."

His comment brought the name back to her thoughts, "Where's the joke from, old man?"

Rick scoffed at her reference to his age. "Never mind! Too complicated and won't be funny for you." He retorted, pretending to be offended.

"Oh come on! You know! You've gotta tell me!"

"You, my young lady, would have understood had he used something like Mr and Mrs Addison." Rick smirked and leaned towards Kate for a quick kiss she gave him with a confused look.

"Yes, Moonlighting. But who is Jaime Williams?" She insisted in a whispered voice.

He stroked her thigh, decided to mess with her head for a while. "Never mind, Baby, but you are as strong and beautiful, if not more so, than the character he was referring to. Are you feeling alright again?" He asked as he fiddled with his old wedding ring he wore. He wasn't a fan of rings, particularly when he was fully conscious of what this one hadn't meant to him in the end.

Kate smirked. "I guess I'm ok, Mr Chris Williams." She emphasised the name and looked at his ring. "I kind of like a ring being on your wedding finger." She commented with a shy smile.

"You do, do you?" He caught her expression and grunted in thought. "Well, if you're intending to put one on me, it's not going be this particular ring." He adamantly stated. "It doesn't hold fond memories for me and should be melted down and made into a prettier creation." That gave him an idea. The plane began to reverse. Kate picked up his left hand, pulled it across his body to her and checked the gold ring giving it a soft turn on his finger. She wriggled across the seat so she was closer to him.

"I will find you a special ring from me when the time is right." She murmured and pushed her hair back looking at his eyes. "I'm sorry I was upset before. It wasn't about Will." She clarified.

"I know. You were scared and the antibiotics are really messing your emotions."

"Don't I know it! I can't wait to be off them." She paused a moment concentrating on the motion of the plane as it started to roll forward. "God I hope I don't get motion sickness." She pulled a face of disgust and looked at Rick.

"You need to eat. We brought enough food with us to last you and junior a day." He replied, still surprised at how much she was eating. Over the past day or so she had constantly been consuming food whether it was meals or snacks. He was more than keen for her to eat.

Kate reached to her handbag and dragged it off the floor to the seat alongside her. She fished around inside it until she located her bag of gummy bears. "Want some?"

Rick laughed at her not in the least surprised she had brought them along. "Please." He said. "What else you got in there?"

"Oh a bit of everything, some of which I have to eat before we hit the ground." She replied and opened the bag. She took a couple and passed him the bag, then was back in her handbag. She found a container that held pieces of carrots and celery which she passed to Rick then lifted out the mini-iPads and also passed the one in the black case to Rick. He had bought two of everything new under their fake names first thing that day and had prepared them for the flight.

He held his iPad but didn't open it. They waited in silence as the plane prepared for its take off. In less than two hours they would be in another city, alone, but hopefully save and able to move about with a little more freedom than what they had in New York. The FBI guys would depart their company at Montreal, Trudeau airport and would catch the next return flight home. He took hold of Kate's hand and looked at her worried eyes.

"We're gonna be ok." He reassured and pressed his lips to her forehead.

"I know." She smiled and squeezed his hand. "It will be like it was over the summer."

"Mmm. Best summer ever." He chuckled, his expression telling Kate exactly what he was thinking about.

"Awesome summer." She smiled and bit her lip. "But this one will be better."

"I agree." He smiled glancing to her eyes. "But that was a great summer with you."

They silenced as the engines roared to life and the plane commenced to move forward down the runway. Within a minute they were in the sky and descending fast.

"Are you tired?" He inquired when she moved closer to him so she could comfortably rest her head against his shoulder.

"A little." She replied and took out a piece of carrot and snapped a piece off with her teeth. "Who is the person Will was referring to?"

Rick glanced to her in amusement and reached over to stroke the side of her head a couple of times. "You really want to know?"

"Mmm. I'm intrigued."

"Alright. He used the TV characters of Jaime Sommers and Chris Williams but he changed it to Jaime Williams to make us married. Does that name ring any bells?" He inquired and waited for Kate to think about it. He thought it was a long shot she would figure it out as she was only in her early thirties. It all depended on how much TV she had watched as a kid and what her parents had watched.

Kate sat up and glared at Rick with a look of horror. "Are you serious?"

He laughed at her expression and nodded in response. "Yep."

"It's Sorenson's way of joking that I'm like the bionic woman?"

"I always tell you that Sorenson has a strange sense of humour." He excitedly replied. "But I Iike it because he makes me think. I had to really think about those names until I understood him."

"Oh my God! He is really showing his age."

"Told you so."

"Where does the Williams come into it?"

"I had to research that, Baby. He was the guy she was with at the end of the series."

"Ok."

"I think we can use this information in the future as material to tease Sorenson about his TV viewing habits when he was kid."

"Totally agree. He teases me enough about liking your books. So I will get even with him."

Rick stayed still, listened to her crunch the carrot down and waited for the signal they were permitted to use electronic equipment. By the time the plane had levelled out they were silently occupied with munching on their supply of food and reading from their new mini-iPads.

As soon as they were off the plane, the FBI agents bid them farewell and left to find their departure gate to return to New York City. They were on their own. Sure details were gone, Rick, holding Kate's hand very firmly, led her directly to customs. The details were of the understanding that Kate and Rick were going to a connecting flight overseas.

Rick noticed that Kate grew fidgety in the line he guessed because they were approaching customs with fake passports. No matter how much he attempted to settle her it didn't' work. However, as soon as she was face to face with the customs officer she was asking where the bathrooms were as she was pregnant and needed to pee badly. Rick watched on in profound amusement at her display of distracting behaviour that ultimately succeeded in progressing them quickly through customs. It seemed the officer feared Kate was going to make a mess on the floor if he delayed her process through customs more than necessary. The moment they were released through customs she told Rick to find the bathrooms. She ran into the ladies bathrooms leaving Rick with the luggage. He waited. Almost five minutes later when she returned she looked horribly pale.

"Sick?" He inquired.

"Of course! Passing through there made me feel ill enough. Junior here is also already giving me grief and it's not born yet." She smiled. "Your kid for sure."

Rick scoffed. "Like, you're easy to be around." He retaliated. "This is just the start of it, Sweetheart." He took her hand and with the other he pushed the trolley to the taxi stand.

"What do you mean, Castle? I was a good child." She asked with a tone in her voice that told Rick she was toying with him.

"Not what your father told me." He put the brake on the trolley then looked up to see Kate's expression of disbelief.

"He didn't say I was a bad child." She disputed. They waited in line for a taxi.

"No, he didn't use those exact words." Rick replied as he looked up the line of passengers waiting for taxis. He did a head count. They were numbers 11 and 12 in line. He peered into the distance to see there was a sea of taxis coming. In the middle of the day, they wouldn't have to wait very long.

"Well, what words did he use?" She asked. He smiled at Kate letting her know he messing with her head. He pulled her close and kissed her forehead.

"Only that he loved you a lot and is very pleased you have me to take care of you."

She instantly grunted. "He may have said the first bit but definitely not the second."

"Yes, Kate." He smiled, and encircled her waist, keeping her very close to his body. She was no longer wearing a protective vest. The agents had taken it back to the States with them. They were now totally on their own, exposed, as she kept reminding him. She was acting like she was a prey species, which in fact she was in her current condition. In addition, he had elected for them to travel as a regular couple, with a regular income, which Castle was not accustomed to doing nowadays. He would have preferred to have had a car waiting to pick them up but he didn't want any attention draw to them, any record of them travelling from point A to B now they were off the plane. He was familiar with hiring a private driver to take him places if he didn't drive himself. Inside the taxi, Castle ordered the driver to take them to the Hilton Garden Inn Downtown hotel. He paid the driver cash and they walked inside the foyer of the hotel. They watched the taxi leave.

"Leave it awhile Rick." Kate suggested.

"All right. Do you want a drink? You look like you need something." He offered and saw her nod.

"I would love a cup of coffee." She muttered. "But instead I will become a diabetic, drinking hot chocolates"

"I was going to talk to you about that." Rick replied, but thought I would give you a few weeks first."

"I know. I have to limit my hot chocolates."

"And your strawberry shakes."

"Muffins?"

Castle laughed. "Yeah, maybe I should buy you some of those to get the juices flowing when the time comes." He commented.

Kate went to have a go at him, then realised he was joking around. It was their thing to have milk and muffins in the middle of the night usually after they had made love. "Maybe you should, Ricky." She replied seductively which caused him to look at her.

He swallowed. "Then I will buy some, and I will ensure you have a fresh supply of muffins at the ready, my love."

"I think you should. It's your responsibility, as my boyfriend, to ensure we have them on hand." She smiled, her eyes glistening a second.

He caught the brief expression. It gave him reassurance they would be ok given time. "I will." He took her hand and led her into the hotel restaurant where he ordered her a hot chocolate and a sandwich. When they were confident they were safe they hopped in another taxi when one became available. Rick gave the driver of that taxi the address to the corner nearest the apartment that was about to become their home and recluse. Kate knew they were near the university where the driver dropped them off at a corner in freezing cold Montreal. They waited for the taxi to be well out of sight then commenced their short walk up an inclined road in the direction away from the city. They were only a block further along when Rick indicated to Kate to take a right turn into an apartment building. She dragged her case up the steps backwards ahead of Rick. She stopped half way up the twelve or so steps.

"Babe, I'm really tired." She whined.

Rick glanced up to Kate, aware she only complained when she was almost empty. She looked weary. "Keep going Honey. We're nearly there." He saw her pull her case up the final steps.

"I can't believe you call me that." She muttered as she struggled with her luggage. Rick already had a couple of her bags. He had told her to travel light. He hated to think how much she would have brought had he not said it. She carried the back pack full of her mother's journals and photo albums as well, which would be weighing her down.

"Yeah. Me neither." He smiled. What started as a joke years ago, he had finally used as a true term of endearment towards her. He continued to drag his cases up the steps.

"I still don't like it." Kate replied stubbornly.

"Yeah, I know," he calmly answered, "but you are my girl, so I guess it was inevitable." He reached the entry and stopped to find the security card the owner of the apartment had sent to him. He swiped it and the door popped open. Rick made a noise of happiness.

"We're at our new home." He said and held the door open for Kate to proceed ahead of him with her luggage. She waited for him to lock the door then followed him along a well lit and carpeted corridor towards the back of the apartment building. At the final doorway, he used a key to unlock the door. An automatic sensor light came on the second Kate walked in ahead of Rick who found the light switch and flicked a few until the main lights came on. As the apartment was closed up for the winter all the curtains were pulled shut. The apartment smelt stale. He closed the door and locked it. For a minute or so he screwed around with the heating until he heard it fire up. The apartment was freezing.

"Where are we?" She softly inquired, as they walked into the spacious apartment. She didn't take off her coat. She wandered into the living area and circled about taking in all in. "And don't say Montreal. I got that." She smiled to him, relieved to be in the security of an enclosed area.

"An old friend's apartment." He replied. "It's fucking cold in here." He stated rubbing his hands together.

"It's fucking freezing in here, Castle." She walked over to a large curtain and found the string to draw them open to discover they concealed a reasonably sized courtyard that would be a nice place during the summer months.

"Well, the heating is switched on. We just have to wait." Rick was busy with an investigation of the kitchen. He had already inspected a few cupboards and opened the fridge door. "It's off." He said and commenced a search for the power point.

Kate continued her tour of their new home noticing the place was plainly decorated. Whoever lived there didn't spend a lot of time in the apartment. She circled the living area and sauntered back to the kitchen where Rick was opening and closing cupboards. "Look, Castle." She waited for him to look to her then breathed out. Condensation.

He did the same thing and grinned at her, "Will be damp in here too. We will have to put the bed sheets in the dryer before we make up the bed."

"Ok." She said, scanning the cupboards. Most of them were empty or had a few items in them.

"Whose apartment is it?" She inquired again.

"It belongs to an old friend of mine." He replied again from inside the pantry. He made a sound of delight and instantly Kate heard the fridge and microwave start up.

"Male or female?" She asked and cast her eyes about the apartment again, having lost interest in the kitchen cupboards. The walls were painted using warm tones in light green, which gave the home a freshness. In the summertime the apartment would be a great place to live with the alfresco area opened.

"A woman. She lives in North Carolina during the winter where she works most of the year. She is contracted to work in Montreal during the summer months." He came out of the pantry and inspected the fridge to ensure it was operating as it should. He checked the freezer and brought out the ice tray he dropped in the sink to fill later.

"Oh." She looked to his face trying to figure out whether the owner of the apartment was one of his ex-lovers. But what did it matter? He was with her now. He never questioned her about previous partners.

"I didn't sleep with her." He added as though he was able to hear her internal dialogue. Kate gasped as though she had been caught out, but continued to listen trying to maintain and innocent expression. "She's an author as well. We met years ago when I wanted to learn about body decomposition."

Kate swallowed, not dropping the eye contact he had taken up when he finished speaking. "I didn't ask." She replied. "Is she a writer like you?"

"Yes. She is a great writer. She also writes science papers. I saw by your expression you were thinking about whether I slept with her." He said, teasing her.

Kate looked to the counter. "She's smart." She commented.

"Genius smart." He more accurately described.

That answered it. Kate was satisfied he hadn't slept with the owner. She relaxed her shoulders and saw him smirk. Bastard, that he understood her body language. She dropped it and looked at him properly, giving him a shy smile that he instantly responded to.

"I know." He said and held out his left hand for her to come to him so she walked around the edge of the kitchen counter until she stopped in front of him smiling. "One day you won't be jealous, but I kind of like it." He said to her.

"I can only imagine how its effects your ego to see me jealous, Castle."

He laughed at her and squeezed her cheek playfully, "My jealous girl." He pulled her close for a hug and gave her lips a peck. "We have to go to the grocery store as there is nothing in here. I will cook you dinner whilst you have a bath Ms Beckett." He suggested, intentionally indicating to Kate things were going to return to normal. He would now concentrate on integrating her back into civilian life.

"All right. I would like to change my clothes. Put on something warmer."

"Oh yes, she said you're welcome to wear her coats, her clothes. She said there are sweaters you may appreciate. She doesn't know who you are by the way, so don't panic. You're about the same size as her I think."

"Ok. I will take a look later." Kate dropped his hand. "I will go find the master bedroom and get changed."

"Beckett?" He questioned in surprise over her comment as they walked along the sidewalk. "Elaborate for me."

"I don't want to be complicated." She repeated quite seriously rubbing her gloved hands together. It was quite cold.

"What do you mean?" He glanced to her, then returned his eyes ahead to take care as they walked. "You're not complicated most of the time." He smiled. "What makes you say that?"

"I thought …" Kate glanced to him to assess his mood. "I thought you were telling me a long time ago, I was too complicated and you wanted someone less complicated."

"And by less complicated you are referring to the comment I made to you when I was kind of seeing the air hostess." He knew at the time he said that flippant comment to Kate that it was going to come back to bite him on the ass.

"Exactly. And now, with all this….the incident. If I'm … well, I've been having problems the past few days or so." She stopped realising she had now confessed she knew she had a problem and knowing Castle the way she did he would make her spill.

For a second or so Rick looked at Kate who was obviously tying herself up in knots about this. She was definitely trying to talk about things with him, but her introverted personality also struggled to maintain control. "What do you mean by having problems?" He took hold her hand, as they approached an intersection. They waited for the walk signal. He was well aware the closer he was to her the more vulnerable she was and the more she was willing to share and communicate with him. If he kept his distance, she remained quiet. So he now had to get physically close and pump her a bit to talk.

"I can't block out any of what I do remember and I fear it may take control of me, that I'm going to be one of those women who can't move on and get over it… I'm always scared." She glanced to him with a small smile, then to his hand and continued with him for the few moments of silence that passed between them.

"You will get over it, Babe. What are you thinking about now?"

"Besides what I'm talking abou?"

"Mm… what else?"

"How to feel safe in a new city alone with you. I'm focussing on trying to figure that out."

He squeezed her hand and looked to her. "We're ok here. You are moving on. You're walking down the street with me rather than being huddled in a wardrobe. You will move on because I will be taking you with me."

"I hope so."

"Well today you go to the grocery store with me and tomorrow we stay in and rest. They're expecting snow and by Christmas apparently there will be heaps of it."

"Cool. Hide out for a few more days."

"We will go out for a walk as well. Is there anything else you wish to share?" Castle asked her. "I don't want you holding stuff inside you."

"I think I've said enough." She replied sniffing because the cold wind was causing her nose to run. "This is between you and I?"

"If you want that." Castle responded.

"Like my rap sheet over the past few days could have me committed." She stated.

"I won't tell anyone." He promised her honestly, silently agreeing with her but decided to let that one slip past without comment or conjecture. "Anyway, I'm very proud of what you have accomplished over the past few days."

"Thank you. That means a lot."

"You had the guys make sure they stayed close to me, didn't you." She inquired.

"Of course. We all decided to do it. You're with men all the time. You can't be afraid of us, any of us."

"I appreciated you all doing that." She paused with Rick as they searched for where they needed to go to find a grocery store. He saw a sign and led her on. "Castle, I don't want anyone to touch me sexually, except you." She stepped sideways facing him a moment. "You I want."

Sometimes she surprised him and her last statement did exactly that. She had just told him several things, but he decided to address the obvious intention of her statement. "Kate, I can confirm with you right now that the only person who is going to touch you in a sexual manner for the rest of your life is me." He stopped walking and reached for her other hand he squeezed then let go. "You're mine now, so please don't be scared of me, ok?"

"For the rest of my life?" She looked to his eyes and he glanced from her to the road and back to her.

She was going with the second meaning. He shook his head and smiled. "Yep. No one else will ever touch you." He reached over, touched her face. "You're mine. Gosh you're cold." He smiled and put his arms around her for a playful hug. "Nobody else comes near you anymore." He confirmed with a protective tone in his voice.

"That's a loaded statement." Kate responded squeezing him tight. "You waited for me all this time and you get messed up Kate."

"Yeah, but messed up Kate likes to express herself, so maybe I will get the real Kate rather than Detective Beckett, Kate." He responded and let her go.

Kate stepped back and remained silent for some time processing his comment and searching his face. She said. "Maybe Kate will learn who the real Kate is too, now she's not living in her mother's shadow."

"Maybe so."

She leaned over and kissed his lips, touched the side of his head with her hand. "Thank you for listening to me."

"That's ok, Kate." He smiled. "I'm cheaper than a psychiatrist and far more effective." He lightly tugged her on the arm to follow him and he led her to the mall, both of them pleased to escape the cold weather.

Inside the supermarket Castle took the trolley and headed down towards the fruit and vegetables section. He wanted to ensure Kate was eating nothing but healthy food over the next couple of weeks. Being winter they were a little limited. He decided to make the best of what they could and started to select what they needed and could manage to carry back to the apartment. They had both brought back packs with them.

"Just get what you feel like Beckett." He offered looking to her face. Regardless of her calm demeanour, she was pale today, beneath her eyes were darkened with the weariness of a long day, travelling and the stress she was constantly and internally dealing with. She was like that he was discovering. Some days she was really good, some days ok and other days she was not good at all. Today the trip had been extremely stressful and he could see the effect of it on her face now.

"Anything?" She asked.

"Whatever you would normally buy for yourself. Just put it in the cart." He walked up to her, smiling to her face and wrapped his arm around her waist. He kissed her forehead. "You are so irresistible Katie." He whispered so no one else heard them. He followed it with a kiss to her lips.

"You're not so bad yourself." She replied quietly.

"Let's get these groceries so we can get back to the apartment and relax."

"Great idea." Kate went to her tip toes to kiss his mouth. In her sneakers she barely reached to his shoulders in height. They collected the fruit and vegetables they wanted and then roamed the aisles tossing in anything they thought they would need for cooking and living. They didn't really plan on doing another shop for a week so they loaded up the cart. "You're quite the shopper Castle." Kate remarked half way around. "You're missing nothing."

"Years of experience Beckett. I raised a daughter on home cooked food. We only ate out at restaurants. She won't eat junk food. She was too smart for that…." He chuckled. "No matter how much I tempted her." He stated searching along the bottom shelf for a particular jar of salad dressing he wanted hoping they stocked it.

"I can imagine." Her attention was taken from Rick to a large built man in a muscle top. His visible skin was decorated heavily in tattoos, his head shaven. Her heart quickened. "Castle?" She murmured touching his back.

Castle heard the fear in her voice and immediately straightened up turning toward her. She was looking fearful. He followed her sightline and saw the reason. He raised an eyebrow at the size of the guy. He had to agree he looked scary. He instantly took a hold of Kate's hand and with the other hand, he placed a finger to her jaw to encourage her head turn towards him. He locked eyes with her. "It's ok." He whispered. If he'd had a dime for every time he'd said that to her lately. This was the first time she had shied of someone in public. Her eyes focussed on his and he saw her relax a little.

"He's coming." She whispered.

"Doesn't matter. He's not one of them." But to help her, he simply stepped to the middle of the aisle and urged her toward the shelving and the cart so she was physically shielded. He held his palm against the side of her neck and decided to give her a serious kiss to move her out of the fear zone. She responded, her lips against his for several seconds. He pulled away when his peripheral vision saw the tattooed guy well past them and heading away. "There. Easy." He whispered and smiled.

"Thanks." She pecked his cheek. "Tattoos and big." She whispered.

"It's gonna take time isn't it." He asked softly stroking her face briefly. Her eyes lowered then returned to his, strength returning to them.

"You have no idea, Richard." She replied. "And the more I remember, the harder it is to control." She glanced down the aisle watching the male leave the aisle by turning to the left. "What will I be like alone?" She asked, her voice afraid for herself.

"You're not alone. Come on. Let's get this finished and go home." He took her hand and continued down the aisle in the same direction as the tattooed guy had gone. "You won't be alone till you're ready to be and it's only been a couple of weeks."

When they turned into the next aisle it was crowded. Castle checked what aisle was. Pet foods. They didn't need to buy anything there so he kept on going to the cleaning substances aisle pushing the cart along playfully. He chose a few cleaning items he thought they would need then stopped and looked at Kate.

"Anything else? I think I've covered it. Girl stuff?"

"Got what I need."

"Let's get out of here." He tugged at her hand as he shot forward with the cart toward the checkout they got through relatively fast. They packed their backpacks strategically so Rick carried most of the heavy items and then with a few bags each, they headed out of the mall to the taxi stand. There was no way they would carry their initial shop back to the apartment.

Once they were back at the apartment they unpacked the groceries jointly making decisions about where items would be stored. They discovered the heating was quite efficient. The apartment was comfortable and the humidity had diminished. They initially explored the apartment together, making a mental list of what was in the home to use. The owner had told Rick to live in it like it was his home. They found it contained two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a small study. The living area was open planned and although it was not a large apartment, it was certainly big enough for them. The bed sheets and blankets were easily located in a hall closet and together made both the beds up. Kate filled their bathroom with the toiletries they had purchased then opted to take a bath. It was time to rest.