A whole weekend of searching had left me with no clues as to the whereabouts of my childhood love. I didn't have any yearbooks from elementary, and I didn't know his name. Lovi didn't know where he was, either, and I didn't remember any one of my current friend group going to the same elementary. So I had given up for now—I could always do it later.

At lunch on Monday, Al had his head down on the table.

"A-Al?" Matt said, touching his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Al moaned dramatically.

"Get your fat head off of the table and tell us what's wrong," Artie said, looking up from his book.

"'m not fat," Al said, his voice muffled.

Gil, who was sitting by Matt as usual, poked him. "You're not fat, but you're kinda squishy. Get up already!"

"If you don't get your head off that table right now, I'll start reading to you from my book," Artie said threateningly, raising his book. When Al didn't move, Artie cleared his throat and read:

"'In the darkness there flashed before my mind fragments of my cherished treasury of daemonic lore; sentences from Alhazred the mad Arab, paragraphs from the apocryphal nightmares of Damascius, and infamous lines from the delirious Image du Monde of Gauthier de Metz. I repeated queer extracts, and muttered of Afrasiab and the daemons that floated with him down the Oxus; later chanting over and over again a phrase from—'"

"All right, all right!" Al yelled, lifting his head and clutching it. "God, that's boring!"

"Knowing your distaste for fine literature, I'm surprised you held out for that long," Artie said, closing his book.

"I must object, Arthur," Francis said, saying his name with distaste. "I consider myself to be appreciative—if not actively seeking of—fine literature, and I also found that passage rather dull."

They started hitting each other. Gil and Herc pulled them apart right before Herc put his head down on the table and fell asleep.

"Okay, he gets to put his head down, why don't I?!" Al demanded, gesturing towards the sleeping boy.

"Are you truly that dense," Artie said, "or was that rhetorical?"

"Well," Al said, putting his head on his hand and looking off at some random point, "that all depends, doesn't it . . . ?"

"It all depends on what?"

"On what 'rhetorical' means."

"Never mind that, why'd you have your head on the table?" Toni asked.

"I'm kinda depressed," he said.

"Don't be sad!" I exclaimed, leaning over to pat his hand.

"Just tell us already!" Gil said, bouncing up and down. "The anticipation is killing me!"

"Fine, fine," he said. "See, there's this girl . . ."

Francis whistled.

"Shut up! Anyway, I really like her, but as far as I know, she doesn't even know who I am . . ."

Gil smirked. "Here's a solution: ask her out."

Al glared at him. "That's really hard! Have you ever asked someone out?"

Gil put an arm around Matt. "If I hadn't, I wouldn't be with little Mattie here, right?" Matt blushed.

"Okay, but for me, it's hard!" he exclaimed. "Like I said, I dunno if she even knows who I am!"

"What's her name?" Ludwig asked.

"Mei Wang," he said with a small sigh of contentment.

"The Chinese chick?" Gil asked. "The one who does karate? The hot one?"

"Yeah," he said happily. "Isn't she great?"

"She is quite lovely," Francis agreed. "If you would like her to love you back, simply . . . show her the goods!" he winked. "'Try before you buy', as they say."

"Ew, you pervert," Al said, frowning. I frowned too.

"Goods?" I asked. "You mean like buy her chocolate or something?"

Gil reached over and patted my head. "One day you won't be so naïve, little Feli, but today is not that day," he said as if talking to a child.

"What?" I said, totally confused now.

"Well," Artie said, "my advice may be slightly sounder than Francis's. Try striking up a conversation, first off. Get to know her likes and dislikes, see what you have in common, that sort of thing."

"And then . . . ?" Al said hopefully.

"Try to discreetly find out her feelings. Ask her friends if she's mentioned you at all. Note her attitude and actions towards you. Finally, when the right time comes, ask her to the cinema or park. If she refuses, ask her why; if she clearly states that she's not interested in you, then you'd best give up at that point."

Al finished writing it down. "Okay, I'll try it, Artie."

"Don't call me that."

"Why not, Artie?" I asked. Francis snickered.

"Pardon me, I have a suggestion," Kiku said quietly. Al leaned in eagerly.

"Yeah? Spill, dude!"

"Tell her that you have thing you need to say to her. The next day, after school, make sure that you two are alone in a classroom together. Remind her that you said you have something to tell her. Then you say 'Wouldn't it be interesting if we woke up tomorrow and we are boyfriend and girlfriend?' then you say 'Will you be my girlfriend?' and she will say yes."

Most of the table stared at him. He glanced around and bowed his head. "Forgive me, was that strange?"

"Eh, I'll take it," Al said, scribbling it down.

"You can give her food," I suggested. "Food's good. Everyone likes food!"

"Oookay," he said, writing this down. "I think the food part usually comes after the two get together, but okay."

"I don't really care, but I got nothing anyway," Lovi said.

"Lovi!" Toni said in a scolding tone. "Don't be mean to Alfie!"

Gil burst out laughing. "'Alfie'?" he repeated.

I frowned. "Wasn't that a TV show about an alien?"

"I think you're thinking of 'Alf', Feliciano," Ludwig said. I smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Get a room," Francis joked.

"Anyone got anything else . . . ?" Al asked hopefully, scanning the table. "Herc, do you—? Oh, never mind, you're sleeping. Mattie, do you have anything?"

"Not really . . ."

"C'mon, Mattie!" he whined, tugging on his twin's hair curl. "You gotta have something—oops. Sorry."

Matt glared at him without any real conviction. Gil tugged his hair curl, too, and after a moment Matt muttered his thanks.

"Get her a turtle," Toni suggested brightly.

"Don't get her a turtle," Lovi suggested.

"'Get a turtle'," Al muttered as he wrote it down. ". . . 'Don't get a turtle'. Got it."

"I got nothing for you," Gil said. "You ain't got no future with that girl."

"Shut up, dude! Okay, I'll try the suggestions . . . except for Francis', because . . . dude, ew."

Francis smirked.

The book Arthur reads from is The Nameless City by H.P. Lovecraft.

Now, do you know what anime Kiku references when he tells Alfred what he should do~?