05.30.2012
Stan Marsh: craig?
Craig Tucker: Yeah?
Stan Marsh: my day is now extremely shitty.
Craig Tucker: Why?
Stan Marsh: kenny messaged me and said he was going to commit suicide
Stan Marsh: so I talked him down and now I'm out smoking with christophe because I am seriously this close to just offing myself
Craig Tucker: Stan, what the fuck, no
Stan Marsh: seriously
Stan Marsh: the shit he said
Craig Tucker: Well, he's actually IMing me right now
Craig Tucker: He wants to smoke
Stan Marsh: and I can't be angry with him because ...well, because
Stan Marsh: ...weed?
Craig Tucker: Yeah
Stan Marsh: are you going to?
Craig Tucker: I don't know, I haven't answered him because you told me not to
Stan Marsh: you enjoy it, right
Craig Tucker: Well yes
Stan Marsh: then do it
Stan Marsh: I trust you
Craig Tucker: Um, so I should go?
Stan Marsh: if you want
Craig Tucker: Well if you said he's being suicidal, maybe it'll calm him down
Stan Marsh: yeah
Stan Marsh: I'll be fine
Craig Tucker: Where are you at? If I go over to his place, I'll come see you on the way there
Stan Marsh: no, it's cool
Stan Marsh: i'm out smoking with Christophe
Stan Marsh: he's not really talking
Stan Marsh: so it's kind of like smoking at a bus stop but whatever
Craig Tucker: Well, okay
Craig Tucker: I'm going to tell him I'm coming then
Stan Marsh: okay..
Stan Marsh: ...hey craig
Craig Tucker: Yeah?
Stan Marsh: damien liked my status
Craig Tucker: I saw that
Craig Tucker: Ignore him
Stan Marsh: uh...craig
Craig Tucker: Yeah?
Stan Marsh: you remember that one rule you had
Craig Tucker: ...yes
Stan Marsh: well the night after the stars, I really didn't want to like, end up dead so I got this idea that if I was nice to Damien it'd make him get uninterested
Craig Tucker: ...and
Stan Marsh: I took pizza to his apartment
Craig Tucker: Why
Stan Marsh: I don't know, we were going to hang out
Stan Marsh: and then I asked him not to kill me, and he like, gave me four options and one was to hug him so I...well
Stan Marsh: I gave Damien a bro-hug
Stan Marsh: And he threw me out
Stan Marsh: Like, he just backed off and told me to leave
Stan Marsh: I thought I fixed it but today he liked my status and I'm like...well what the fuck is that
Stan Marsh: I haven't said anything, I'm ignoring him
Craig Tucker: Okay, I'm not even going to ask why you asked for rules if you weren't going to listen to them anyway
Craig Tucker: But yeah, just ignore him.
Stan Marsh: I don't know...
Stan Marsh: I did it because I was so happy and I love you and I didn't want to die like a week from now
Stan Marsh: and have that end
Craig Tucker: Well somehow I don't think bringing him pizza is a way to make him leave you alone
Stan Marsh: I don't know
Stan Marsh: I thought if I acted nice he would back off
Stan Marsh: you're not pissed at me are you?
Craig Tucker: No
Stan Marsh: I love you
Craig Tucker: Yeah, I love you too
Stan Marsh: I'm sorry for not listening..
Stan Marsh: Like
Stan Marsh: I was going to ignore him
Stan Marsh: and then I talked to Kenny
Stan Marsh: and Kenny's all buddy buddy with him
Stan Marsh: I don't know what I was thinking anymore..
Stan Marsh: okay, go smoke or whatever
Stan Marsh: ...you don't get like me, do you ?
Craig Tucker: No, I'm not, he said not tonight
Stan Marsh: like making out with guys
Craig Tucker: No, I don't, weed doesn't impair your judgment
Stan Marsh: okay...
Stan Marsh: ...hey craig
Stan Marsh: have you told your family about me? besides ruby?
Craig Tucker: Not directly, but they won't care so I'm not making a big deal out of it
Craig Tucker: Do you want me to?
Stan Marsh: I told my mom
Craig Tucker: What did she say?
Stan Marsh: ..nothing
Craig Tucker: Is that good or bad?
Stan Marsh: no, I was saying nothing to make you feel better..
Craig Tucker: Well what did she actually say?
Stan Marsh: She asked me how Wendy was and I told her we broke up, and then she asked where I was last night and I said out
Stan Marsh: and she said where and I told her I was out with you and she's not happy about that
Craig Tucker: Why not? That doesn't even sound like you told her we're dating
Stan Marsh: She asked why I was hanging out with you and I said we were dating and she sort of...well
Stan Marsh: I don't know
Stan Marsh: she just stopped talking and walked off to do something else
Craig Tucker: Is that a lie?
Stan Marsh: no
Craig Tucker: What did she say?
Stan Marsh: She didn't say anything
Craig Tucker: So is that good or bad? I don't know your mom
Stan Marsh: bad
Craig Tucker: Are you okay?
Stan Marsh: I'm fine
Craig Tucker: Like... does her opinion matter to you?
Stan Marsh: well, dude, yeah
Stan Marsh: she's my mom
Craig Tucker: Um
Craig Tucker: What are you going to do
Stan Marsh: what do you mean?
Craig Tucker: I don't know, don't you have to make her happy or something
Stan Marsh: maybe if you just...hang around my house
Stan Marsh: she'll get used to you
Stan Marsh: I don't know
Craig Tucker: Is that really a good idea?
Stan Marsh: ...why would it be a bad idea
Craig Tucker: I don't know, yeah, I'll come hang around
Stan Marsh: My mom is nice, she's just..I don't know
Stan Marsh: I think she thinks you're a bad influence on kids
Craig Tucker: Stan, every parent thinks that
Stan Marsh: ...yeah
Craig Tucker: You thought that, except instead of parent "bad influence" terms, you said "asshole"
Craig Tucker: I just have that effect, I guess
Stan Marsh: I guess...
Stan Marsh: well
Stan Marsh: you are kind of an asshole
Craig Tucker: Yeah
Craig Tucker: And parents don't like me
Craig Tucker: Never have
Stan Marsh: ...yeah.
Craig Tucker: Well I don't know, Tweek's parents liked me, so maybe you're right
Craig Tucker: I should just come around more
Stan Marsh: ...yeah
Stan Marsh: and my dog likes you, so how far off is my mom anyways
Craig Tucker: Did you just compare your mom to your dog?
Stan Marsh: maybe.
Craig Tucker: Are you sure you're okay?
Stan Marsh: Yeah I'm fine
Craig Tucker: Okay
Stan Marsh: did kenny say anything to you about suicide or does he save that for me?
Craig Tucker: No, he's talking about something else
Stan Marsh: like what?
Craig Tucker: It's just... sad
Craig Tucker: Like intensely sad
Stan Marsh: ...like what is he talking about
Craig Tucker: How he doesn't want to see me
Craig Tucker: And I asked him why
Craig Tucker: and it's taking a really long time for him to respond
Stan Marsh: ...did you really need to ask why
Craig Tucker: He's the one that wanted to smoke with me, and then when I told him I would he suddenly doesn't want to see me
Craig Tucker: Excuse the fuck out of me for asking
Stan Marsh: He still likes you
Stan Marsh: that's why he spent an evening at my house talking to me about you
Craig Tucker: ...well he liked me before he and I got together and he hung out with me still
Stan Marsh: I guess now that the jock who has everything is dating you, he's not going to be as accepting
Craig Tucker: What the fuck
Craig Tucker: He can't be this upset about it forever
Stan Marsh: I don't know
Stan Marsh: he told me he was jealous of me because I'm dating you, and because I get to be happy, and because I'm a star, and everyone loves me, and I get to eat every day and I make out with everyone and I'm an athlete and I'm great at everything
Stan Marsh: I mean, I'm flattered
Stan Marsh: but the most accurate thing in there is athlete
Stan Marsh: and that's about it
Stan Marsh: I mean, I eat every day but so does 90% of south park
Stan Marsh: and I'm dating you, yeah
Craig Tucker: Look, we can't beat ourselves up over this all the time
Craig Tucker: Kenny is my bro and everything, but he's the one that broke up with me
Craig Tucker: If I started dating someone else, that's okay
Craig Tucker: I'm not saying he can't be sad
Craig Tucker: Because I'd be sad too
Craig Tucker: But he can't keep making you feel like shit about it
Craig Tucker: Especially when you're helping him
Stan Marsh: ugh
Stan Marsh: I feel like hell
Craig Tucker: I'm sorry
Craig Tucker: He still hasn't responded
Stan Marsh: Uh hey Craig, I fell asleep on the keyboard. Sorry
Craig Tucker: That's okay
Stan Marsh: I think I'm going to go to bed...love you
Craig Tucker: Love you too