A/N : Sorry for the huge delay on this update everybody! Hope I didn't lose any of you in that breif hiatus! I'm afraid I was just more inspired by other projects for a while there and this story was not getting written, but not to wory, I'm back now. Pleae bear with me on updates as even when I'm in the mood to write, I have four WIPs on the go at once! :-) (For disclaimer, etc - see chapter 1)
Okay, lets start by establishing some facts. My name is Veronica Kane, I was born on the 15th April 1988 along with my twin brother Duncan Kane. Its right there on my birth certificate that my parents are Jake and Celeste Kane, the same two people I have known as Dad and Mom these past sixteen and a half years. Of course, fact and fiction sometimes get a little mixed up, and birth certificates contain only information given by the people who register the child. It's perfectly possibly for anybody to take a baby to the registrars office and say they are the parent. If that's true of the record for my own birth, that means I'm calling Jake and Celeste liars when they claim to be my parents, and that's a frightening concept. Surely if I were the product of an illicit liaison between the man I always knew as my father and Lianne Mars, that would mean Duncan had to be too. We are twins after all, at least that's what we grew up as and I never had reason to question it. Sure we don't look alike at all, but neither of us look particularly like Lilly either, and besides nowhere is it written that fraternal twins should look anything like each other. I was hoping that the more I thought this ridiculous theory over, the more I would realise how incredibly stupid it was, but instead I'm finding more and more evidence to make me believe that I really might not be who I always thought I was. It would explain so many things. Why Celeste never seemed to treat me quite the same, why Jake made extra efforts, and why I never really feel like I fit here at home. It would explain why Duncan and I are so very different for twins, why he has his medical condition and I'm perfectly healthy. It would answer a hundred and one questions that have played on my mind for months, some even for years, and yet, I can't quite let myself believe that my whole life has been a lie - because then what do I really have? The people who surround me would all be liars, co-conspirators in a huge plan to dupe me and all those that know us...
"Hey, V, what's up?" Lilly asked as she burst into her little sisters bedroom, "I was thinking, could I maybe borrow that cute little shirt I saw you wearing the other day?" she asked, not waiting for an answer as she began rifling through Veronica's closet without a care.
"Sure" the young blonde answered vaguely as she stared at her sisters back, "Lil, what do you remember about when I was a baby?" she asked, causing an odd look from her.
"That you were a pain in the butt and wouldn't stop crying for like ever?" she said with a smirk, regretting her possibly too harsh words when Veronica didn't laugh at the joke, "I dunno, Veronica, I guess you and Donut were kind of a pain at first, y'know, cos I was still little and getting zero attention from Mommy and Daddy Dearest" she said, rolling her eyes as she came to sit beside her sister on the bed, "but you guys grew on me, I got to like being big sister" she grinned, "taking care of you babies" she said, throwing an arm around Veronica's shoulders and hugging her briefly.
"You're only one year older, Lil" She pointed out with an eyeroll, before focusing on a more importan fact, "I cried a lot?"
"Yeah" Lilly confirmed with a nod, "A very lot" she declared, "but y'know, that's just what kids do" she shrugged, "Why the sudden interest in what you were like as a brat?" she asked as she headed back to the clothes she'd been sorting through before, trying to hunt down the particular item she wanted to swipe.
"No reason" Veronica lied, deciding right now was not the time to get into this, and Lilly wasn't the right person to lay all this on either, not yet, "Which shirt were you looking for?" she asked, changing the subject to something normal, before she went crazy wondering about the other things on her mind.
"You know that cute little stripy thing you had on the other day?" Lilly said with a vague gesture that didn't help much.
"Um, this one?" Veronica guessed, pulling out the item she thought he sister wanted, "Lilly, it's not going to fit you. Everything's just going to... spill out" she said with a look down at the ample chest her sister had in comparison to her own relatively flat one.
"Why do you think I want to borrow it?" Lilly winked as she picked the top out of her sisters hand and flounced out of the door with it, calling a vague 'thanks' over her shoulder as she went.
Veronica smiled as her sister disappeared from sight. One thing was for sure, whether her family really was her own or not, she did love her older sister, no matter how questionable her attitude was sometimes.
"Well, hello, beautiful" Logan was quite obviously grinning as he took the call from his girlfriend and Veronica loved that he could be so happy just to hear from her, "What did I do to deserve the honour of a call today?" he asked jokingly, though the blonde on the other end of the line wasn't so much in a joking mood.
"I just... I wanted to talk to you is all" she said, flopping back against the pillows on her bed, "Find out what's going on in your world today" she said vaguely.
"Not much" Logan admitted, the phone propped under his chin as he shot the latest alien race in his new video game, "To be honest, it's all pretty boring at Casa de Echolls" he told her, "I'm the only one home, not counting the help, and Dick was too busy with Mac to come over and play"
When she neither responded to his words or his joke, Logan became a little worried and immediately but the games console down, holding the phone properly to his ear.
"Veronica?" he said, concern evident in his tone, "Are you okay?"
"Honestly? Not so much" she admitted with a sigh as she closed her eyes tight against the world, not sure what exactly she was trying to block out, but not succeeding anyway.
"You want me to come over?" Logan offered immediately, "I can be there in minutes" he said, already getting up from his bed and looking around for something to put on his feet in a shoe-type of way.
"Actually" Veronica said in his ear, "Would it be okay if I came to you?" she asked him, as she heard Lilly's radio get turned up a few notches and Jake yelled for her to keep the noise down whilst he was working.
She and Logan couldn't talk about the things she wanted to discuss here anyway, and besides, her alone in her bedroom with a boy would spark parental concern and sibling jibes that she could well do without.
"Sure" Logan agreed immediately, "Veronica, you know you can come over whenever you want"
"I'll be there in ten minutes" she said with her first genuine smile of the day as she hopped off her bed and got her things together, just the second she ended her call to her boyfriend.
Veronica wasn't sure what she was going to achieve by running away to the Echolls house and telling Logan of her latest family issue, but it certainly couldn't make anything worse. Right now she was imagining all kinds of potentially crazy theories. She needed to share them, if only so someone else outside of the loop could tell her if they too thought she was nuts for suspecting that one of her parents might not be her flesh and blood at all.
Hurrying from her room and out to her car, Veronica succeeded in not seeing any member of her family. She yelled a vague 'going out, be back for dinner' type message to the nearest maid, sure it would get passed on at some point and only glad she hadn't had to face her parents or siblings right now.
It wasn't as if her family were so awful or unapproachable, though Celeste did tend to do the ice queen routine a little too well sometimes. Most things Veronica found she could talk to her Dad about, but where her parentage was concerned, she decided Jake was not the way to go. As for her brother and sister, well, they both had problems of their own, with their love lives in disarray as they were, Meg's pregnancy scare still looming over them all, and Lilly's issues with Weevil's jealousy. Besides, Duncan's usual reaction to any big news was to stand idly by and pretend it wasn't there or wasn't happening, whilst Lilly would go to the other extreme and make such a huge deal it was unbearable.
No, Veronica was sure by the time she reached the Echolls house that she had definitely made the right decision in coming here to talk her worries over with her boyfriend. Though they'd known each other a relatively short time, and Veronica knew she should be wary after the whole Troy debacle, she'd fast come to trust Logan Echolls so implicitly, and she loved him like she never knew she could love anyone. This was why she smiled genuinely, in spite of her inner turmoil, when Logan met her on the driveway, clearly both concerned for what might be wrong and eager to see her.
"Hey, you" he smiled as she got out of her car and came over to him.
"Hey" she replied in kind as she kissed him, "Thanks for letting me come over" she said as they went inside with their arms still around each other backs.
"Like I'd ever say no when you need me" Logan rolled his eyes as they headed through the house towards him room, the safest place for a private conversation, away from the prying eyes and ears of the staff.
They were both a little startled to run across Logan's father, Aaron, before they got as far as their sanctuary.
"Dad" Logan reacted with evident surprise, "I thought you were out with Mom" he frowned slightly, since he was sure the house was empty save for himself and the help.
"I was" Aaron agreed, "but she and Trina decided to do a little shopping and I could think of better things to do than carry bags" he said with a smiled, mostly at Veronica which unnerved her somewhat, not the grin itself but the almost-leer behind it, "I'll be out of your hair in just a minute, leave you two lovebirds alone"
"Thanks, Pops" Logan nodded once, obviously feeling awkward between Daddy Dearest and his girlfriend.
"Y'know, Veronica, you are all I've heard about lately" Aaron told her, turning back before he'd quite walked away, shooting a wink at the pair of them before calling, "Have fun, kids" over his shoulder and disappearing from view.
"That was a complete lie" Logan said quickly, "Not that I wouldn't want to talk about you, obviously" he said when Veronica shot him a look, "but the day I discuss my love life with him is the day Satan skates to work" he rolled his eyes as they continued on up the stairs and Logan led Veronica by the hand into his room.
The fact that when the two sat down it was on a bed was not lost on either of them, mostly Veronica who on top of all the deep thinking she'd been doing about her parentage was now reminded of the mess Duncan and Meg had almost gotten into recently. Of course, she was over here to talk with Logan, nothing else, but that didn't stop the thought occurring. She doubted very much that he was so oblivious the thought hadn't crossed his mind either. When she glanced his way, he smiled.
"Veronica, I'm not going to jump on you" he told her, slightly amused by the fact she might think he would, "I mean, I would, if you asked me too, but..."
"Not right now, thanks" she smiled back, letting the joke happen if only to break the tension.
Of course, the brief moment of mild hilarity was just that, brief, as Veronica's mind wandered back to why she was here.
"Logan..." she began, not even looking at him as she asked her question, "Do you ever feel like you just don't belong?" she wanted to know.
"Yeah, I guess, sometimes" he said vaguely, not really sure how best to answer, "Doesn't everybody?" he said with a shrug.
"I don't mean..." she tried again to explain, but only served to upset herself.
"What is it, Veronica?" Logan asked her, putting his hand over hers between them on the bed as tears came into her eyes, "Something's been wrong for a while now, I wish you'd just tell me what it is, so I can help you fix it"
"How are you going to fix my parents lying to me?" she asked desperately, fighting the urge to bawl on him again, "Logan, my Dad had an affair, and I think I came out of it"
"What?" he gasped, looking appropriately stunned, "You and Duncan are...?"
"No" she interrupted, "Just me. I don't think we're twins, I... I don't know what I am anymore" she said, bursting into tears then, unable to hold it in any longer as Logan pulled her close to him, her head resting on his shoulder as she sobbed into his shirt.
Logan's mind raced at a mile a minute. Now he could see why Veronica was so upset, why she'd been distant and moody lately. If what she said was true, her whole identity was in question. Though she was likely still a Kane by her father, her mother could be another person altogether, not the woman who had raised her. Her brother and sister would only be half-siblings, and she was no longer the twin she believed herself to be. It seemed crazy to think it might be true, but Veronica must have some pretty serious reason to believe it.
It was equally shocking to Logan that Jake Kane was the type to cheat. He knew his own father to be far from faithful to his Mom, and she knew it too. Logan was at least grateful that if one of Veronica's parents had strayed it was her Dad. He would be worried otherwise that she could just as easily be his half-sister as anyones, given Aaron's reputation! As it was Jake had been the one to do wrong it seemed, but that led to another question.
"Do you know who your mother... who your Dad cheated with?" Logan amended the question for fear of upsetting Veronica even more.
"Lianne Mars" she sniffed, "Sheriff Mars ex-wife" she explained, since of course Logan hadn't been around to meet the woman before.
"Wow" was all he could say to that, what else was there to say really?
"I'm so sorry, Logan" Veronica said then, pulling her head up from his shoulder and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, "I've been such a lousy girlfriend, all I do lately is pile my problems on you and cry all over you" she said sadly, hating that what ought to be some carefree happy relationship was turning bad already.
Logan had fought so hard to get her to date him. Now they were together, and Veronica felt like she was denying him the prize he'd worked so hard to win. She ought to be a better girlfriend, but things in her life were such a mess right now, she was just overwhelmed by too much other stuff.
"Hey" Logan said, putting a hand to her face and making her look at him, "You're not a lousy girlfriend" he told her definitely, so close their foreheads touched, "You're everything to me, Veronica" he swore, "And the best girlfriend I could ever ask for, because I never loved anybody like I love you" he said softly, almost feeling silly for making such a speech and yet so proud to have earned even the watery smile she managed to send his way.
"I love you" she echoed his words, leaning in closer and putting her lips to his.
It felt good to kiss him and receive such affection back. He loved her, she loved him, and Veronica felt so safe as his arms wrapped around her body, holding her tight. The kiss soon deepened, tongues doing battle in the best way, as the pair fell back onto the bed in a tangle of limbs, passion and want over-taking them to the point where both of them were soon lost in the whole emotional surge.
As fingers found fasteners and clothes began to become undone, it was Veronica who came out of her love-induced stupor first. This wasn't right, as much as they loved each other, this couldn't be right. She couldn't use Logan to feel better about her crappy mixed-up life, and she didn't want her first time to be like this. Besides, it was unplanned moments of lust that led to accidents, like that which Meg and Duncan had very nearly had.
"Logan" she gasped in air as she pulled away from him, "I can't" she said, pulling herself out of his arms and up to a sitting position once again, pulling her half-undone shirt around her body.
It took her boyfriend a moment to get his bearings and all, as she apologised at least six times for messing him around. It was when she got up to leave that Logan really came back to reality and reached out a hand to her arm.
"Veronica, wait" he said, glad when she did as he asked, "Hey, come on, you don't have to leave" he told her, "I'm not going to pretend I'm not disappointed, but I can wait" he promised her and the look in his eyes told her he meant every word.
"What did I do to deserve you?" she asked tearfully, as he stood up and pulled her into his arms.
"Obviously something diabolical" he joked, glad to hear even the choked laughter she offered him as she stood there in the circle of his arms, not wanting to be anywhere else right now.
To Be Continued...