Billy never thought he'd love his job so much. They had just installed free Wi-Fi to bring in more customers, which gave him something new to do during his break time. Something he hadn't been able to do in a long while. He pulled his laptop out of his work locker and rushed outside. Sitting down, he booted the computer up, impatiently tapping on the side as he waited. It felt too long for him to get on to the Wi-Fi and pull up Trixie's blog. However, the first post made him decide he could have waited a lot longer to feel the knife of her words wrenched in his heart.
It's killing me. I had to chose, and I know I made the morally right choice, but for some reason, my heart won't accept it. Billy's stone cold face still haunts me in my dreams. When I get a chance to actually sleep that is. I don't think I've slept in a good three days, and I know I haven't eaten since the incident. Six days, three hours and forty-three minutes. I know I need to eat. I should shower too. But everything in the fridge looks repulsive to me, and I can barely make it down the stairs to get online. If I could just stay locked up in my room forever, I would. I can't bear to face my friends now either. They probably hate me. They gave up trying to get me out of my room yesterday. The only time I ever come out of my room is to get on the computer. Every time there's this empty hope that Billy messaged me. But I know he doesn't care anymore. If you had seen his face, you'd understand. It hurt so bad to see it.
I just feel so empty now. In the short time we were close I felt like he filled every empty spot in my life and gave me something to look forward to every day. But now, there's nothing. I feel cold and lonely like nothing will ever be right again. I'm too scared to talk to Billy either, he probably hates me too. I mean, I did chose the Shane Gang over him. Because it was the right choice. I just didn't know right would feel so wrong. I have no goodbye to tell you, nowhere to go anymore, I just have nothing else to say. My words are empty, my head is empty, my stomach is empty, my heart is empty. Farewell for now I guess. I suppose I'll talk to you again when I feel like I have something else to say and I'm not talking myself in circles.
T.S
Billy didn't bother reading the older post. He couldn't. His vision was blurred with the tears he was still refusing to shed. With shaking hands he closed his laptop, wiped the water out of his eyes and went back to work. If he could just make it through his shift, he'd go see Trixie now. It didn't matter what Eli would say, he simply had to. She was literally on the verge of death and he had just been sitting around for six days without being the wiser. He should have sent an email to Trixie he thought as he resumed his place at the counter. Perhaps he could just run back now and do it quickly. He'd take care of her as soon as possible. However, fate could never be so kind to those who need it.