The silence between us was comfortable as we dried off and got dressed. I had just slipped one of Dean's shirts over my head when stark terror grabbed me by the throat.

Sam.

I darted past Dean standing sexy and disheveled in his bedroom and hit the stairs at a dead run. I tried to take them in stride and may have skidded down a few but I hit the end of the stairwell in a spin, lurching into the living room and spotting Cas and Bobby talking.

"Sam—where's Sam?"

They both stared at me, startled.

"Where the fuck is Sam?!"

"I'm right here, Alex, what's—"

I darted into the kitchen where Sam was washing his hands at the kitchen sink. The bloody red water didn't even register as I started tugging at his shirt. "How bad is it, Sam?"

"What? Alex, calm down—"

"Let me see how bad it is right fucking now!" I yelled, my hands stiffening as a cold shiver shook me. I ignored it and pulled anxiously at the bottom hem of his shirt, trying to get it up his long torso.

He grabbed my wrists, getting his first real look at me. "Alex, your scars-!"

"Let me see! Now!"

Bobby and Cas came to the doorway, staring at me in alarm. Huffing with frustration, Sam dragged his shirt off over his head. I grabbed him with one hand, keeping him still as my other traced frantically over his skin high on his chest. There was no blood, no punctures. No collapsed lung, no whistle in his breathing. I looked up at him finally and his hazel eyes were squinted in concern. "Are you okay?"

"Me? Downstairs, you were – Grady … Sam, your lung was collapsed. I know it was!"

Sam sucked in a breath as his focus shifted from my healed skin to my frantic eyes. "Damn, I didn't even think – you felt everything, didn't you?"

I blocked the memory before it could overwhelm me. Reliving that struggle to breathe, that helplessness knowing he was hurt so badly but just out of my reach—not something I cared to re-experience. "I can fix it, Sam. I need to fix it!" My fingers skimmed the surface of his chest again, searching for the injury, trying to soothe his pain even as my heart pounded painfully in my chest.

"Calm down, Alex. It's gone, I'm fine." He gave my wrists a reassuring squeeze. "Cas healed me. I'm totally fine. See? No marks, no scars. Cas took care of it."

I dropped my forehead into his sternum, trying to process. He was fine. Sam was fine. He wasn't hurting, he wasn't in pain because of me. He was fine. I tucked my arms around his waist and pulled him as close as I could, trying to steady my breathing. He patted me on the back reassuringly.

"Seriously?!" Dean's furious shout filled the room as he slammed into the kitchen, eyes blazing. "Are you fucking kidding me, Alex?"

Sam put up a placating hand. "Dean, calm down, it's not—"

I stepped out of Sam's grasp, cold pinpricks skating up my spine as Dean turned on me with a vicious glint in his eyes.

"I know it's been a bad day, but hell, babe. If you were looking for a round two, all you had to do was say so."

"Dean, that's enough." Sam tossed his shirt back on and stiffened his shoulders, fists clenching.

I just stared at Dean, unsure how to respond to the unexpected attack.

"What, didn't think I had it in me?" Dean folded his arms over his chest angrily. "Or did I not perform to your standards? I should've known the last time you I found you two together-fuck it. You go right ahead and screw Sam silly. Whatever helps you deal with stress, sweetheart."

"That's enough!" Bobby snapped. "I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, boy, but it's been a cluster fuck of a day. No reason to be a spiteful jackass just for kicks."

Dean turned his glare on the older man. "Don't tell me what to do, Bobby."
Bobby straightened slowly, the warning in his tone escalating. "Don't test me, boy. This is still my damn house. You need to get some air."

Dean started toward the doorway and Sam wordlessly tucked me behind him. Dean's glare turned vicious. "Really, Sam? You think you have the right to protect her now? Think I'm going to hurt her?"

"You just did."

The silence was deafening. Dean finally met my eyes and I just stared at him, unable to form words around the gaping hole in my chest. His brutal efficiency at making what we had just shared feel meaningless left me stunned. Without a word he spun on his heel and left, slamming the front door on his way out.

Sam turned and looked at me, eyes flinty. "I'll go after him, Alex. I'll bring him back, make him apologize—"

I shook my head, making a small gesture to stop his flood of words, a dull flush filling my face as I avoided their concern.

"That boy has the fastest temper of anyone I've ever seen," Bobby muttered, coming into the kitchen and giving me an awkward pat on the shoulder. "If he thinks he's too big for me to take a chunk out of his hide, he's about to have another think coming."

I managed a shrug, swallowing roughly. "I … I think I'm going to go upstairs." Soft words from all of them followed me to the upper level. About halfway up the stairwell the shock wore off and anger started to build. What the fuck was Dean's problem? He had just pleaded with me to give him another chance for something I didn't even blame him for. Had gone on and on about how everything with Stokes was all his fault … what a fucking idiot. He wanted to spin me all kinds of tales about protecting me and being there for me no matter what and then turn around and be a complete jackass? Fine by me. I had already stayed here entirely too long. My muscles started to ache as I stomped up the rest of the stairs and threw open the door of Dean's room. Good thing I wasn't spiteful or I'd do something stupid like slash his sheets just for the hell of it. Instead I grabbed the nearest duffle bag and threw a couple changes of clothes in it from Dean's drawers. Cas hadn't allowed me to bring any of my supplies when he popped me over to Bobby's and there hadn't been two minutes to make a supply run since I arrived. The least Dean could do was loan me some clothes. If he were standing here he would probably make some smart ass remark about how Sam's clothes would be larger, warmer, comfier… whatever stupid ass reason he could come up with to push me away. I froze, letting that thought roll around for a moment.

That's what he had done. Pushed me away. Taken the very thing that had made us closer than ever and thrown it in my face. Earned my trust and respect and then stomped on it. Damn him. What a coward. I threw the duffle bag over my shoulder and searched the top drawer until I found a loaded pistol and slid it in the back of my jeans.

Without a backward glance, I left the room and stormed down the stairwell, anger growing with every step. "Dean Winchester!" I bellowed, passing Sam, Cas, and Bobby still standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, throwing the door open with a slam. Dean was pacing farther out in the junk yard, his hair mussed like he had been running his hands through it. He looked up at my call, anger still rolling off him in waves. "Dean Winchester, you sorry son of a bitch, don't think you can pull that shit and walk out on me!"

He straightened, squaring up his chest as if welcoming my fury.

I heaved the duffle up higher on my shoulder, slinging the strap across my chest so both my hands were free. I strode across the junk yard, my temper snapping viciously at him. Every inch of him was pissing me off. The pinch between his eyebrows, the angry scowl that hardened his eyes, the fact that he kept clenching his fist as if tempted to take a swing at me. I got within a few paces of him and stopped, so pissed that I could hardly find the words for a minute. "You … you coward!"

"Oh, I'm the coward?" He snarled back.

I steamrolled on. "You think just because I gave Sam a hug—"

"That's the second fucking time you've gone straight from me to him, Alex. The second fucking time!" he snarled.

"Are you shitting me?! He's like my brother, Dean! He wasn't making a move!"

"The hell he wasn't! At least last time he kept his damn clothes on!"

"Why do you think I ran to Sam? You think you didn't wring enough noises out of me in the shower? Is that it?"

"You want someone better at the touchy feely stuff then Sam is your man, I'm not going to argue!" He threw it out there like a gauntlet.

"We left him bleeding on the basement floor! Excuse me for being fucking worried for him when I realized I might be the only one who could fix it!"

"Oh please, Cas was right there—"

"Cas runs off all the time! He's left me in more shit than he's helped me out of, and I had just nearly gotten him killed! I sure as fuck didn't think he'd stick around!"

"Cas doesn't run away—"

"He sure as hell does! He picks me up and puts me where he wants me without sticking around to help me the fuck out!" Inwardly I winced a little, knowing I didn't honestly feel that way anymore. Cas had been through hell with me and eased the worst moments of my life.

"Lay off Cas," he growled, stepping toward me with both hands clenched.

"I'll say whatever the fuck I want!"

"Not about my family, you won't!" Dean roared, green eyes flashing. "You want to trade in for the brother that's not so fucked up or so damaged, that's fine – I can't blame you. But did you have to literally run straight from my arms to his?!" He stiffened as if fuming that he let me see that he was hurting. "I don't know what I did to piss you off or why you went running to Sammy but I get it, okay? Fine. Go be with him! He gets emotions and all that crap. He'll be better at all of this." He gestured between us angrily. "I don't know how to do this shit, the hard shit. That? In the shower? That's as close to happy as I've ever been and that was right on the tails of easily one of the most fucked up days of my life. Yes, I was a jackass. I said some shit I shouldn't have in the kitchen. I should probably be sorry but I'm not! You know why? I don't want to see you with Sam. I don't want to see him touching you. You're mine. You're my Lex. And I'm pissed as hell that I tried my best and it still wasn't enough for you. So, go run to Sam. He'll find a way to get you both out of this life and be normal with you. I'm going after Faulkner. And I'm sure as fuck taking care of Grady. I'll make sure that you and Sam can go and live your perfect little life and never have to worry about the shit in the dark that comes after you. No matter how pissed I am at you, I can promise you that."

I slapped him. Hard. Full face, open palm, no holding back. I slapped him hard.

His head snapped to the side and he froze, every inch of him stock still as my handprint bloomed on his cheek.

"That…" I hissed, moving forward until I was only inches away from him, "was for what you said in the fucking kitchen."

He slowly turned back to face me, teeth gritted and jaw tense.

"This," I pulled the duffle over my head and let it drop to the ground, "is because no matter how much of a jackass you are, I can't imagine trying to sleep without knowing you're there beside me now." I pressed a furious kiss to his mouth, not even trying to soften it. I was still angry, he was still fuming, and there was no reason to try and hide it. "I can't do this, do any of this without you." I kissed him again, grabbing a hold of his flannel shirt and pulling him closer, making sure he made no mistake about how mad I still was. I pulled back enough to stare into his snapping green eyes, knowing that I had to make him hear this, had to make him understand the next part more than anything. "And I'm going to say this once, Dean Winchester, and you better fucking hope you never make me mad enough to say it again: you are short tempered, irritable, and quick to make judgements. You're pushy and demanding and half the time I want to strangle you. But there is no one else in this world that is half the man you are. Sam included. You're a warrior. You're a fighter, and you defend the innocent with a righteousness that shines brighter than all your other flaws. I've known you for a month and I can't imagine ever respecting another man more than I respect you." I gave him a little shake, emotion riding high in my throat. "Damn it, I think I'm falling in love with you and I'm fucking pissed about it right now!" I pushed him away with a shove against his chest, still so spitting mad that I was half tempted to pull out the pistol and shoot him right there. "Do you understand me, you crazy son of a bitch? Nothing was happening with Sam. Nothing. If you think for one second—"

He slammed his mouth down on mine and spun me around, hiking my legs up around his waist. He kept moving forward and I scrambled to hold on beneath the onslaught until my butt hit the trunk of a car in the lot. Dean leaned forward, sliding me up the trunk until I was sitting squarely on it. "Shut up," he ordered before dropping back to ravage my mouth. He slapped his hands down on either side of my hips and leaned forward, dropping me off balance so I had to scramble to grab hold of him. He forced his way into my mouth, dominating every inch of me. He fumbled suddenly, his hands at my jeans. I jerked back from his kiss to cast a glance at the house and Dean ran kisses all along the length of my throat.

"Dean, they can see—"

"I told you to shut up. And no, they can't. There's no direct line of sight from here to the house. Trust me."

I snorted, pushing up at him, trying to get some leverage to help with my jeans. He shoved my hands away and unsnapped them, dragging down the zipper. "Right, like that's a good line right now—"

"Shut up," he growled, his voice raspy and growling, sending a shiver up my spine. "I'm warning you now, Lex, soft and gentle is not going to happen. I swear I'll make it up to you, but—"

I kissed him hard, interrupting his words. "Dean Winchester, if you aren't inside me in the next two minutes I'm going to fucking shoot you, and that's a promise." I jerked the pistol out of the back of my jeans and set it on the hood with a thud.

He lifted an eyebrow warningly and shoved me higher on the car. "Pushy, much?"

"Damn you, Winchester, don't fuck with me right now-!"

He pulled my jeans off with a flourish, the warning in his eyes turning heated. "If I ever find you in Sam's arms again—" He pressed a brutal kiss to my mouth.

"Never going to happen. Get your head out of your ass and fuck me," I snapped.

With a flip of his wrist his pants were undone and suddenly he was inside me. Thick, deep, and hard, fuck was he was inside me. It was rough, his hands were on my hips and I just knew there would be bruises tomorrow but hell if I didn't want them. I wanted his mark on me, I wanted to know he cared enough to claim me. If he ever handed me over to Sam like he had in the kitchen again I would castrate him. Dean Winchester was mine and fuck him if he thought I could be with anyone else.

His first thrust stole my breath, punched it straight out of my lungs. I grabbed a hold of the back of his head and pulled him to me for a grinding kiss. He pulled back but just enough to position me against the trunk, pushing my legs to brace my feet right beside my hips, spreading me open for his next driving stroke. He planted his forearms on either side of my head, hands buried in my hair as his green eyes flashed molten, thrusting high inside me again. He set a brutal pace, the harsh sounds of our breathing and the wet joining of our bodies the only noise in the scrap yard.

"I won't lose you again," he muttered, giving a particularly rough shove inside me. "Not to Sam, not to fucking Grady, not to anyone. You're my Lex, you understand me?"

I let out a raspy moan, digging my hands into his shirt as I clenched down onto him, drawing an answering groan from him. Damn, he felt amazing.

His forehead dropped down to my shoulder, panting as his rhythm grew erratic, the force of his snapping hips increasing. "Like it or not, baby girl, you're mine." He bit my neck, just at the sensitive crease of my shoulder and I erupted. I arched into the waves of the orgasm, a thin cry escaping me. He kept thrusting through it, his hands fisted in my hair and shoving even deeper until I could feel the warmth of his release filling me, sending aftershocks tingling through my body.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him tight, chest pounding and sweat cooling on my skin. His heavy breaths slowly eased as the tension left his muscles. He pulled back enough to look into my eyes, one finger brushing the sweaty hair off my face. He didn't say anything, just looked at me with eyes full of an unfathomable mix of easing frustration and longing.

"Hey there," I whispered, cupping his jaw and rubbing the underside of his bottom lip.

He pressed a gentle kiss to my fingertip. "Hey."

"Swear they can't see us from the house?" I teased, softening into a small smile.

A huff of laughter escaped him. "Promise." He straightened slowly and pulled away. I immediately ached with the loss of connection. With efficient movements he cleaned up as much as possible and tucked himself away.

I sat up, a delicious ache in my thighs as I watched him run a hand through his short cropped hair. Damn, he was beautiful. A lick of uncertainty suddenly made me hesitate and quickly discard the idea of moving back into his space again to kiss him. We were okay now. He wasn't walking away and I wasn't high-tailing it out on my own. We could face anything as long as we were together. I had come through hell and survived, and we were getting ready to go hunting. Everything was going to be just fine.

If I could only block out this uneasiness in my gut warning that the worst was still to come.

For some reason I was so nervous to post this chapter! It is completely the opposite direction of where I was headed when I started to write this chapter and caught me by surprise. Definitely was not expecting their first time to be like that, but can't say I'm sorry about it! lol As always, I love to hear your feedback. I kept trying to reroute it and somehow kept ending up back here. I promise, it will not be smut in every chapter from here on out and the plot will continue forward now, they just needed to get it out of their systems! (Or maybe *I* needed to get it out of my system haha). Love to hear your thoughts, so kudos and comment away!