I. AM. BACK. Oh, mama, it's been a rough ride, and quite a bit of this chapter wasn't what I'd originally planned to have, but I'm pleased with the end result. 'tis making it a little bit of a longer ride than it was supposed to be, but I don't mind, don't think anyone else will either. And next update should be very soon. Currently enjoying a lovely Christmas break, so yes, should be soon.

Also, Merry Christmas everyone! Or your preferred holiday equivalent!

Lesaro was gone for a while so eventually I moved to stretch out on the exceedingly comfortable bed and just dozed, resting my exhausted muscles as I waited. Salazar started muttering again, but it wasn't the same heartbreaking pleading as earlier, for which I was grateful. Talking to him and petting him kept him calm, but my voice was already starting to cut out from all the talking I'd been doing, so instead I curled up close to overheated Spaniard and laid my hand across his chest, stroking the thick, well-defined pads of muscle to let him know he wasn't alone.

And thought.

Half-formed sentences and words and images tumbled through my mind as I tried to comprehend everything that'd happened in the past few days. It was so confusing trying to figure everything out, and even though I laid there for a good hour or so, things still weren't any clearer.

Salazar was obviously the most confusing item on the list.

I simply couldn't believe that he'd even look twice at me with any sort of interest other than being an oddity beyond his comprehension. That one night out on the deck, with the stars and the Milky Way above us, I'd been mistaken. I was never good at the best of times at gauging emotions and unspoken things from other people, and that had been a faulty perception on my part. Yet he'd taken care of me during my fever, something he could have easily ordered one of the crew to do. But he hadn't. And that was more than me being just a responsibility. Or was it? But there was a mammoth discrepancy between Salazar, a renowned Spanish Royal Naval captain, and me, a 21st-century desk jockey with an odd taste in music that I just couldn't ignore. It was a gulf that swallowed any sense of self-confidence I might own, and spat out nothing but doubts and mental derailment.

A snarl of frustration rolled through my throat. I give up. I'm fucking useless at this touchy-feely shit. The only way I get things is if it's laid out flat, in a way I can't mistake it, otherwise I'm just gonna fucking embarrass myself, and since that's never going to happen, what's the point of this? And even if it did happen, I'd only fuck it up, because that's what I do when I feel like anyone cares about me. Fucking sabotage shit so that they leave and I can hate myself some more.

I blew a heavy sigh and turned my thoughts to the impossibility of my current reality. I wondered what the hell I was going to do when we reached dry land. I knew absolutely nothing applicable to this time period, and I was not about to be married off to be a brood mare as what was usually expected from girls even younger than I was.

I'd slit my throat first.

A deep, rolling snarl rattled in my chest and I bared my teeth as I realized the horrors that accompanied my reality. Not only that, but I couldn't trust anyone. Not really. Out here on the ocean, rules were looser and behavior was allowed to slip, but once the Silent Mary docked, the crew, Salazar, all of them would step back and realize just how crazy I seemed.

And I'd be either locked up and declared insane, or tossed aside to find my own way through this alien world.

Suddenly craving space, I lurched upright, away from the broad-shouldered Spaniard hogging the bed, cool air swirling over my flushed skin as I worked myself into a panic. Sliding off the bed, I began to pace, champing my teeth together as possible futures raced through my head, each worst than the last.

I knew these were good men, knew they'd try their best, but I was useless here. I was less than useless, I was a liability. Anywhere I went on land, one strange word or an odd twitch of behavior and someone would cry witch or demon or whatever. Then the authorities would come, and not only was I a stranger, a newcomer, but a woman as well. Women had almost no rights, were regarded as less useful than a hunting dog, and I could just forget about any sort of 'humane treatment'. I read a few of the things done to women that were considered 'helpful for their flights of hysteria'. The procedures, the treatments, the torture of innocent women, simply because they weren't the good little property of their male 'betters'. It was barbaric.

And I was right smack dab in the middle of a time rife with it.

"Ignorant slime," I hissed, drool stringing from my teeth as frustration itched and crawled along my skin. "Fucking trapped in a time ruled by backwards barbarians."

A quiet knock interrupted my aggravation at the unfairness of the world. I jerked around to stare at the door. "It's open."

Lesaro opened the door into the sleeping quarters, nodding at me, then moved over to the window and cracked it open, letting in cool, fresh sea-salted air.

I lifted my nose to the breeze and snuffled, clicking in my throat in pleasure as it brushed away my frustrations. Or at least quieted them somewhat.

"Señorita Isabeau, are you alright?"

I swung my attention back to the lieutenant, who was watching me with concern on his face. "I'm…fine."

He raised an eyebrow disbelievingly. "Lo siento, but you do not sound 'fine'."

"I'm as fine as I'm gonna be," I snapped, not wanting to pursue the line of questioning and get myself worked up again. I hated it when I did that. It didn't solve anything, only made things worse, and it was an exhausting toll on my body and mind. I might as well just start crying. I'd get the same useless result.

Both of the man's eyebrows were now peaked, and I started champing air again, not caring what he thought. At this point, what did I have to lose? My life? It was practically forfeit already.

"I found a few items like what you requested. And there's a bath in your cabin as well." Lesaro set a small bundle of cloth on my empty side of Salazar's bed, a wary look on his face from my animalistic behavior.

I slumped with a sigh, then went over to investigate what he'd brought me, slightly amused by the fact that I actually had a side on the captain's bed. I need to get out of this place, but I literally can't. Ain't that just swell.

Picking up the cloth, I felt my creativity perk its ears as I poked through the small cords of leather, strings of twine, and small pieces of metal I didn't know what they were for, but were about the size of a dime and rough-hewn and worn. They seemed to be coins of some kind. "What are these?"

"Ah, they are…" he gestured, grimacing in frustration when he couldn't think of the English equivalent. "They are…money that is no longer usable."

Out of circulation. Got it. I tested the metal with my fingernail, then figured I could work with this. Attaching them to the leather cord would be a bit of a trick, but I was a smart girl sometimes. I could figure something out. "Thank you, Guillermo."

"If I may," he began hesitantly, then paused and took a breath before continuing, "what had you so upset when I came in?"

Rather than answer right away, I pondered on his question. There were so many things that were making me upset, and as much as I was trying to enjoy the calmness of not having to stress on my job or paying bills or anything like that, I was still stressed. It was just a different flavor.

"Guillermo, what year is it?"

Tilting his head a little, he answered evenly, "'tis 1709. Why do you ask?"

Mentally calculating, anxiety churning in my gut as my suspicions were confirmed, I murmured softly, "Three hundred and nine years…I was close." And so early in the 18th century...I'd have hoped for it to be closer to the 19th, but of course that'd be too much to ask for.

Cautiously, Lesaro sat down on the bed and eyed me carefully. "Why were you close in regards to three hundred years?"

Twisting around so I could meet his gaze, I asked frankly, "Guillermo, do you think I'm crazy?"

Lesaro turned away to stare unseeingly at the wall, and for the longest moment, I thought he wasn't going to answer. Then he swung back to me and inhaled deeply. "I…I do not know what to think. Mando said you had told him you were from the future and he…thinks that you believe it. But without evidence it is…difficult…"

I looked away with a laugh of dry humor. "I know exactly what you mean. I find that very few things make me angrier than not being believed, especially when the truth is important, but I'm asking people who are from a superstitious time when women are considered lesser simply because they're not male to believe in something that would get me burned at the stake for-"

"This isn't the Dark Ages," Lesaro bit out, "but it is well known that women are the weaker of-"

I bolted upright and snarled at him, my earlier rage snapping back to life. "I'd be real careful about what you say next."

The bared display of teeth made him edge away slightly and his gaze flicked to mine. I held it for a long moment before the discomfort of prolonged eye contact made me look away with a huff, glaring at the floor. "This is so stupid. Men are stupid. You've been in charge of pretty much everything for the longest time, and just look how you've royally fucked everything over. Governments are on the brink of collapse, wars everywhere, countries almost collapsed, the oceans are tainted, corruption and greed rule rampant, and everyone's on the brink of another world war. Men are in charge, and they've done nothing but bicker and backstab and let their petty little squabbles and 'superior' brains and chauvinistic attitudes just make everyone else's lives miserable."

The grievances might've been from the future, but were still relevant, still relatable. I blew a harsh breath, aggravated at the human race. We were so stupid, and we never learned our lessons. Stupid sheep, blindly following because we were too stupid to care otherwise.

Sighing, I flopped backwards onto the bed. "Believe whatever you want to, Guillermo. I'm too tired of trying to prove myself. I know the truth, and I guess that's all that's going to matter."

A few minutes passed, then I felt Lesaro shift his weight closer on the bed, his heavier bulk sliding me towards him. I tensed to stay in place, but he was too heavy and I slid until my side was against his hip. Since I knew he'd done it on purpose, I opened my eyes curiously and saw him looking down at me with a peculiar expression.

"Tell me," he said simply. Nothing else, just those two softly spoken words.

I heaved another sigh and stared up at the ceiling. "I don't know what you want me to tell you. There's no true comparison here. Yes, you have greed and corruption but it's…different. So hard to explain. For me, it's stupid people are raising stupider people, but expanding at a rate that's uncontrollable. There's seven billion people in the world, Guillermo, and there's not enough resources to last at the pace we're consuming them. And it's only going to get worse. We're quickly spiraling towards another world war and there's still places that are uninhabitable from the last one. But none of the men in the position to actually help fix or delay or change things come even close to giving a shit because then it would deprive them of their ever-so-important money." I snorted wryly. "As if they can take it to the grave with them."

Abruptly I rubbed my face tiredly. "Sometimes…sometimes I don't even want to go back. There are things that I miss, yes, enough that if I get the opportunity, I'll take it. But you don't understand how different it is here. You have no comparison. It's so calm and quiet, and peaceful, and you can actually hear yourself think…For the first time in a long time, I can remember things with clarity, I can think clearly. I don't feel panicked or stressed, well, I mean I do, but it's not the same kind of stress. Gah, this doesn't make a single bit of sense to you, does it?"

I opened my eyes to see Lesaro watching me with a faint smile, a strange expression on his face. "What?"

"You are an unbelievably fascinating woman, Isabeau. And no, I do not think you're mad. Lost, perhaps, but not mad. I do, however, think that you are going to keep the capitán very busy."

Disgruntled, I opened my mouth and he continued, "And as I said, I cannot deny that you are most undoubtedly not normal, but being from the future, still, is so…"

"Outlandish?" I suggested, relieved that he didn't appear about to continue his earlier tangent. "Wait a minute. Didn't we already have this conversation?"

"Hmm, one similar, I believe. And how would something like traveling through time take place, even if it were possible?"

I shrugged, as lost on that point as he was. "I haven't the slightest clue. I went to bed, thinking everything was normal, and woke up on a pirate ship, locked in a cell. Apparently there was a delay or lag because Lady BeKatt said I appeared on the Bountiful, but I wouldn't wake up. Might because it's physically taxing to adjust to whatever the fuck happened? I wish I had some answers…"

Salazar suddenly shifted with a quiet murmur and I glanced over at him, noting he was still lying quietly. Please wake up soon…

"Go have your bath, señorita. Eat. The capitán would not be pleased with me if he woke to find you ill again." Lesaro gently nudged my shoulder and I reluctantly pulled myself upright, groaning plaintively at the thought of having to take a bath while we were still rocking with a bit more violence than normal.

"Fine, fine…I'm going. I won't be long." I wasn't really hungry, but I hadn't eaten anything except that small bowl of broth and the few bits Lesaro had brought after I'd woken up. Oh, goodie, more time to pass before I return back to normal. Yay, joy.

"Have you gotten a chance to eat?" I asked the lieutenant, noticing when he hesitated before opening his mouth. "If you haven't, I don't mind bringing something for you. I really don't."

He closed his mouth and nodded, one corner of his lips quirking up in a small, lopsided smile. "I would appreciate that. Gracías."

I quickly glanced away before he could see my cheeks warm at his charming expression and I was once again uncomfortably made aware that the lieutenant was in no way an ugly man. Oh, mama. I need to get outta here. Call me vain, but being in close quarters with all these men in uniform is not good for my equilibrium. Not that Guillermo can hold a candle to Salazar, but still! Mah poor heart!

"Anything in particular you want?" I asked, moving to grab the pitcher to refill it, careful not to look in Lesaro's direction until I'd had a chance to compose myself. Ever since I'd been captured in Salazar's arms last night, I kept finding myself getting flustered over even innocuous things involving handsome men.

"Whatever Miguel has already prepared will be fine."

I nodded and slipped out, wary that I was wearing clothes I shouldn't be seen in as I darted down the hallway, more than ready for a bath as I made a beeline for my cabin.

Between the still kind of greasy feel of my skin from being sick to Salazar's overheated exertions, it would be lovely to just soak in hot water for a long while before scrubbing my skin raw. But I didn't have time for that. And it was a lot more difficult to bath on a ship determined to toss a person on their naked ass than one would think.

Bath first, then food.

Spanish Translations (courtesy of ze brain)

Lo siento - (I'm) sorry

To help make up for the long wait (which I again apologize for), I had intended to update early Christmas Day, but when I uploaded my draft, I realized the chapter was so long, that I just had to add a little extra to it and I'd have enough to make two chapters. So! Here ya are, part one of two!