AN: Longest chapter yet! You better enjoy it! :)
Callie POV
When I had walked up to the end of the bed, I heard the doors close. I turned around and saw how Lena walked up to Stef in the middle of the room to stand by her side. The two woman look relaxed and calm, it's like they weren't even slightly worried about what I'm going to tell them.
Some seconds went by. The room was quiet. We were staring at one another. Stef and Lena hadn't said anything. They were waiting. Waiting for me to speak up. To say whatever I needed to say to them. Because after all, it was I, who came to them saying that I needed to speak to them.
My mouth suddenly got dry as I got slightly nervous. I run my tongue over my dry lips. I straightened my stance, made sure my head was held up high and moved my hands by my side, so I would look confident and powerful.
I stated out loud and clear "I'm leaving!"
Stef and Lena did not look surprised. They simply looked to one another, giving each other a look that told me, they already knew what I was going to say to them even before I said it.
A moment ago I was confident. I knew what I wanted to say to them. I knew how I was going to say it to them. In my mind I had rehearsed and played out every possible outcome of this conversation. Knowing Stef and Lena, their personalities, their usual approached - I had already thought of the possible things they could say to me. I had prepared an argument back.
But now, now that I see how collected and composed Stef and Lena were after my announcement, I got the feeling, that I wasn't as prepared for this talk as I thought I was. My confidence shrunk as my shoulders lowered and I started to pick my fingernails.
Stef pressed her arms to her hips, taking over as the dominant person in the room, and asked me "Why do you think you have to leave?"
"I just have to," I nibbled my lip "Jude's adopted. It's time for me to leave and move on with my life,"
"Move on with your life?" Lena repeated the words I said and glanced to Stef by her side "Why are you talking about Jude like he is dead?" Lena asked tilting her head slightly to one side, her eyes were fixated on me
"Because you took him from me!" I mumble quietly under my breathe, hating to admit it how the weak, selfish part of me really felt about it. Of course Lena heard what I said.
"Callie!" Lena took a small step towards me "Just because he is adopted doesn't mean Jude is no longer your brother! You two will always be family! Nothing will ever change that!"
"You don't understand!" I shook my head as I took a step back "You will never understand!"
They can pretend all they want. They can read all of the books in the world. Foster as many kids as they want. But they will never understand what's it like to be a foster kid, they will know what it's like to be on our side of the equation. They will never understand how it's like to grow up feeling unwanted, worthless, unloved...feeling like you are not enough. They will never understand how empty I feel now that Jude is adopted. They will understand how much it hurt to see Jude getting adopted without me! They don't understand how hard it is to see your brother getting an happy ending, but knowing you will never get yours!
"I know it was hard for you to see your brother getting adopted-" Lena said gently, trying to coax me to talk. Instead, she just pissed me off.
I snapped at her stopping her from finishing her thought "You don't know anything! You don't know what it's like to be me!"
"You are right," Lena admitted after a moment "I don't know. I shouldn't have said that! But let me ask you this - Do you think you have to leave because we adopted your brother?"
"Love, now is not the time to stay quiet!" Stef spoke up, when I hadn't replied to Lena. Her voice was slightly more firmer and louder than Lena's, but it still held the same tenderness as Lena's voice did "You came to us remember? You told us, you needed to speak to us,"
"I already told you everything you needed to know!" I said trying to get my composure and confidence back
"That's all you wanted to say to us – that you are leaving?" Stef asked back
"Yes!" I stated back, sticking to what I said before
"Callie you don't have to leave! You can stay here with us!" Lena tried to persuade me
"There is no us! There has never been - us!" I said staring right to Lena's eyes
It was better if I leave now. I had already grown too attached to these woman. I had gone to them for support too many times already. If I stay here any longer, I will become too dependent on them. They won't be in my life forever - that I know for a fact. Sooner or later they will get sick and tired of me and I will be all by myself again.
I need to get back on my own two feet. I need to depend only on myself. I need to start to move on with my life. I need to figure out what I was going to do with my life, now that Jude is no longer in it. And I can't do it here.
Stef took a breath in and looked back at her wife. Lena gave Stef a little nod. I did not like that exchange one bit. That look they shared and that nod Lena gave, made me feel uneasy and worried.
"So you want to leave," Stef said repeating what I said to them
"Yes!" I confirm it once again. For a moment here, I thought that Stef and Lena were going to back off, that they won't try to convince me to stay. Little did I know, that they had a leverage on me, that I didn't even know existed.
"Okay," Stef smiled back at me "Well...I consider you as trustworthy person, Callie-"
"What does that has to do with me leaving?" I interrupt Stef not understanding what she is trying to accomplish by saying that
"Let me finish please," Stef said calmly, she put her right hand on her chest as she continued to speak in a very clam manner "Like I said, I consider you a trustworthy person," Stef looks over her shoulder and gestures to Lena "In fact, Lena does too. We both think you are reliable, loyal and we could depend on you. Those are qualities, that aren't as common as you think they might be,"
Stef detained a little pause and then gestured with her hand towards me "Donald for example!" I tensed up and my body became rigid, when she mentioned him "He is your father—not birth father, but he did raise you and Jude, while Colleen was alive. But, sadly, he doesn't have any of those qualities. He broke your trust on multiple occasions over the last 8 years,"
"We both know you have broken some promises you made to Jude as well," Lena continued "But, the circumstances were completely different. You always have Jude's best interest at heart. You did the wrong thing, for the right reason. And unlike Donald, you do regret them and you have been doing everything in your power to gain Jude's trust back,"
"What's your point?" I ask as I looked between them, trying to figure out what they are planning with this little speech
"My point is – we see you as a trustworthy person," Stef reached in her suit pants back pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. I frowned my forehead, when I saw the paper.
"We didn't want things to come to this, but you leave us no choice, Callie!" Stef sounded real sincere, when she said that. What was written on the paper?
Stef held the paper up "Do you know what this is Callie?"
"No," I shook my head
"This-" Stef started to unfold the paper "is the rental agreement, you signed on December 25! Do you remember that?"
"What does the stupid rental agreement has to do with anything?" I looked between the two woman. I hated not knowing what they were planning. My heart kept beating fast and faster inside my chest.
"This is our copy of the agreement. You can see your signature here," She holds the paper up and points at the signatures below and then hands me the paper "Can you read the fourth point from top out loud for us, please?"
Looking at Stef suspicious, I reached for the paper slowly. I clear my throat as I hold the paper in front of me "The tenant will be renting the garage for 500 dollars a month. Payments will have to be made-"
"Sorry, the fifth one!" Stef said taking a little step towards me, pointing to the paper. She then takes a step back to stand where she stood before, next to Lena.
"The tenant will be renting the garage and living there-" It felt like my heart contracted, when I saw what was written up front. My reading got slower and quieter with every words that I read out "-for a minimum of 3 months, starting from the day this rental agreement has been signed-" the text continued after that, but I stopped, because I read the part Stef wanted me to read
I look up to Stef and Lena shocked "No...no, I did not—this was not what I-" I looked down to the paper in my hands and reread the point again and again. The paper was slightly trembling, because my hands were shaking a little.
"The three of us and Jude were in the kitchen, when you signed the paper. You agreed to these terms," Stef told me, when I once again looked up to her
"No! This was not...I did not sign this!" I was gripping the paper in my hands, my eyes were fixated on the sentence
"You can go get your copy, to make sure we are not trying to trick you," Stef said back calmly
I quickly turn around and head over to the nightstand, where I had stashed my copy of the rental agreement. My back was turned against them. I pulled the drawer open, it almost fell out of the brackets. I rummage through the drawer, till I found the paper.
Holding them both up, I started to compared them. They were the same. The text was the same in both copies. They both had my signature on them. They both had Stef and Lena's signature on them. How did I miss this?
Flashback
December 25th
I turned to Jude "I'm 18, Jude. I am too old for forever families and happy endings. And I already have a family -you are my family!" I said to Jude as I walked around the table
When I was up to him, I placed both of my hands on his cheeks "You are the only family that I need!" I leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my brothers forehead
"But we could be part of a family again, together!" Jude said to me, there was hope in his eyes. He really believed what he said. Sometimes he could be so naive. He could believe everything that was said to him.
"And you will! You will be part of this family, Jude. I'm not going to stop them from adopting you," I reassure him as I caressed his cheek
"Come here," I pulled him in a hug, when I saw how the thoughts were running around his head "You will have a forever family," When I kissed his temple, I finally felt him hug me back
I heard footsteps coming in the kitchen after a little while in the hug. Jude and I pull out of the hug at the same time. I turn around and see Stef and Lena warily walking in the kitchen. It was clear to me – they didn't want to interrupt our talk- , but, when they didn't hear us talking anymore, they had to check on us.
They now stood by the doorway to the living room, smiling at us. We stood there awkwardly for a moment. No one knew what to say.
I scratched the back of my neck "Um...you were saying something about the rental agreement-" I look to Stef, wanting to get over the rental agreement stuff that we had been talking about before Jude walked in
"Oh, yeah...I printed it out-" Stef pointed to the printer, behind us "Jude, could you-" She glanced to my brother, who was still holding the piece of paper in his hand
"Sure," Jude handed the paper back to Stef, but she declined and told him to give it to me instead
"Read it. If you have any objections about any of the points - we can discuss them...change them if you want. Everything is debatable at this point,"
"Do you have a pen?" I ask when reach for the paper that was in Jude's hand. I wanted to show Jude, that I will be here for him. I needed for him to see that I was trying and doing my best to support him. He was already disappointed in me for leaving him once last night. I needed to prove to him, that I knew, what I did was a mistake. This was one way to show Jude, how much I care about him and show him just exactly how much I am willing to do for him.
"Yes, I will get you one," Lena said walking pass us to the island table to her purse to get the pen
When Lena handed me the pen, I turned to the table and placed the paper down. When I lifted the pen up to the paper, Stef told me "You should read it first!"
I looked to Jude, who stood at my side, before I glanced over to Stef and said "It's all good!"
"'I really think you should read it first, Callie!" Stef repeated, right before I signed the paper next to my name
"Okay," Stef breathed out as I finished my signature "May I?" She reached for the pen. I handed it to her. Stef signed the paper, then handed the pen over to Lena, who signed it as well.
"This one will stay with you. I will print another copy, that will stay with us! You will have to sign it as well," Stef says handing me the paper I just signed
End of flashback
I'm an idiot! Such an idiot! How could I have been so stupid! – I think to myself as I sit down on the bed, holding the two papers in my hands. I signed the papers without reading them. This was my own fault. I couldn't blame anyone else but myself for this. Stef told me to read it. She told me more than once. And I did not listen to her. I only looked at it diagonally, without reading all of the points.
This was as much as a promise to Jude as it was to Stef and Lena. He was standing right next to me, when I signed the papers. He saw me agree to the terms. Jude has read the agreement. He knows what I signed up for. If I don't keep my word on this – Jude will never trust me or talk to me ever again. I can't let him down again. Jude barley forgave me the last time I broke my promise.
"Callie!" Lena's soft and caring voice pulls me out of my thoughts
"I know," I say as I start to fold their copy back up. I made a promise (a signed promise) – I have to keep my word. I get up from the bed and walk around it.
"Can we please not talk about it anymore?" I ask, when I hand them their copy, while keeping mine in my right hand. March 25th was the date I will have to keep in mind. I have to stay here for another 8 weeks.
"As you wish," Stef takes the paper from me and puts it back in her pocket after folding it another time
"You want to talk about what has been bothering you this whole week?" Lena asked after a little while. I still stood in front of them, looking down to the paper in my hand, l scolding my past self for not reading the agreements more carefully.
"It's nothing," I say without looking up to them "Can you please give me some space?"
With a slight hesitation, Lena replied "Of course, honey. We will be in the house if you need us," Lena touched my elbow briefly, before Stef and her left me alone in the room.
Once they left, I took two steps back, till my legs touched the end of the bed. When I felt the bed behind me, I sat down and placed the paper by my side. I pressed my elbows to my knees and put my head in my hands.
Flashback
January 25th
We were all sitting at the breakfast table, when my phone rang. I started down at the phone screen, at the caller ID. Why was my apartment landlord – Margaret – calling me?
"I need to take this. Excuse me," I excused myself from the table and walked towards the back doors "Hello?" I picked up the call, when I walked out to the porch. I closed the back doors behind me, so no one would hear the conversation.
"Hello, Callie. It's Margaret, your landlord," Margaret greeted me. She was an older woman, in her later early 60. Margaret was a nice woman. She was always so sweet and kind to me.
"Yeah. Hi Margaret!"
"I'm sorry that I am calling you this early,"
"That's no problem,"
"Listen, Callie, I was calling you to tell you something-" I could tell by her tone of voice that this was not good news
"What is it?"
"I'm afraid it's bad news. The couple that lives about you...their water pluming...the tubes burst. Their apartment is flooded. We are pretty sure there is some damage done to your place..."
"How bad?"
"It looks to be pretty bad. We shut the water off, but like I said, their place is flooded and we are pretty sure there is water leaking into your apartment as well,"
"Ah, man..." I rubbed my forehead, thinking about how much the damage will cost me. Money was already real tight. With two rents, I barely had anything left.
"Can you come over today. The sooner the better, actually,"
"Yeah, yeah I will be there as soon as possible,"
"Okay,"
"Thank you for calling," I said and was ready to end the phone call
"Callie?" Margaret managed to catch my attention before I hung up
"Yes?"
"Did you buy insurance on your apartment this summer, like you talked about?"
Fuck! Before the summer, I had finally saved up enough to get insurance, but this summer I also started to fight to get Jude back. In the end I used most of the saved up money for Jude "...No, no I did not..." I said slowly, realizing this will cost me greatly
"Oh," Margaret breathed out sadly, clearly feeling for me
"...I'm gonna head out. I will be there in 20," I said hanging up, not wanting to hear her pity me
I walk back in the house. Everyone, especially, Stef and Lena, were watching me with concern. When I was up to the table and drinking the last of my coffee, Lena asked "Everything okay?"
"I need to go," I reply simply after I drank the last of my coffee and put the cup down on the table
"Who was that?" Jude asked looking up to me
I put my hand on the back of his head "I need to go. I love you," I tell him and lean down to kiss the top of his head
"Where are you going? Do yo need a ride?" Stef asked ready to get up and follow me
The last thing I needed was for them to find out. If they do, they will probably want to help me pay for the damage and the repair that is needed. I don't need their money, I don't need their help. If they help me pay for the damage - I will owe them. I am leaving this place once Jude is adopted, I can't owe these two woman money or get too comfortable by them helping me deal with everything. I need to start handling things on my own again. Like I did before I met them!
"I don't need you babysitting me! Can you just get off my back for one day, Stef?" I snapped back at Stef, a little bit harsher than I intended to. I grabbed my bag from the island table and walked out of the house quickly, because started to feel guilty about how I just treated Stef
January 26th
The first time happened the first week, when I started to work here. Some little girl ran into me, while I was carrying a tray of dirty plates to the kitchen.
The second time happened just 3 weeks in. I tripped over the strap of a bag, that was put by the side of the table, while carrying tray of drinks to the customers.
The third time was some 6 month in working here. I was mixing a drink for a customer, I reached for the bottle, but it slipped through my hand and the bottle shattered on the ground, spilling the drink everywhere.
Today, was the 4th time. And it was the worst of them all.
I was gathering the dirty glasses from the 8th table. When I turned to walk back to the kitchen area, I saw a group of guys walk in. At first I didn't think much of them. They looked to be around the early to mid 20. There were 5 of them. I only saw the faces of the first three, because the other two were kind of in the back.
But as they walked towards an empty table at the other side of the hall, I saw the other two guys as well. The glasses that I was holding in my hands, simply slipped down. My breathing became more rapid as my heart begins to beat fast in my chest and my stomached clenched. All because I saw a familiar face in the group.
The sound of glass shattering, caused everyone to look at me. Even the group of guys that just walked in. I quickly crouched down and started to gather up the pieces of glass. Not only I was trying to clean up the mess I made, I was also hiding. Hiding from the one person, I fear and hate the most in the World.
"Let me get that," Lisa walked up with a dustpan and a broom to help me clean up the glass "Don't cut yourself," Slowly, with shaky hands I placed the two glass shards in the dustpan, careful not to cut myself
"Hey, you okay?" Lisa asked, when she saw that I still frozen in fear, crouched down where the glass had shattered "Callie-" She placed her hand on my shoulder, but my reflexes took over as the horrible memories were flashing right in front of my eyes. I pushed her hand away from my shoulder in a sharp movement. My brain was tricking me, make me think it was Liam, who just touched me.
"Wow...Callie, what's wrong?" Lisa looked at me with concern as I looked back at her "It's just me!"
"I'm sorry…I'm sorry!" I blurred out as I got up and hurried to the bathroom to gather myself up and also hide for a little while longer, while I figure out a way how I will avoid being seen by Liam, while he is here eating dinner with his friends
"Callie you know the rules!" Peter said to me, from where he sat behind his desk "First 3 times - the restaurant takes care of it. After the 3rd time of breaking plates, you have to pay for it! This is the 4th time you have dropped a plate, glass or a bottle, thus, breaking it!"
"I'm sorry!" I said to him in quite the miserable way "Peter, you know I need the money!"
"I'm sorry, Callie, but I will deduct the money for the glasses from your next pay check,"
"Please!" I begged
"It won't be much, it was just two glasses-" He looked down to the paper in front of him
"Not for you, maybe!" I snap at him "But I need every cent! I have to rents to pay! I need that money, Peter! Please, can't you make an exception for me...just this once...please!"
"I'm sorry, Callie!" He apologized again as she stuck to what he said before
January 27
It was an hour before my shift ends.
"Callie!" Lisa, who had picked up the phone by the bar called me "Someone is looking for you!"
"What? Who?" I screw up my face and make my way over to the counter, where the restaurant phone stood "Why would someone be calling for me at the restaurant?" I asked, even thought I knew, she did not have the answer
"Some woman," She whispered to me as she hands me the phone
"Hello? Who is this?"
"Hi, is this Callie Jacob!" I heard an unfamiliar voice at the other end
"Who is this?" I ask again, not recognizing the person
"I'm sorry, you don't know me. I'm nurse Kathy Mayfield, I work at Mercy Hospital," the woman said explaining "We have a man named Donald Jacob here. You are listed as his contact person. We didn't have your phone number in the system, but Mr. Jacob had mentioned to me before you work at this restaurant and that I could get a hold of you there,"
"Is he dead?" I know it may sound cold, but that's the first thing that popped in my head after the woman said that to me
"No, he's not dead. But he was admitted in the hospital few hours ago,"
"Let me guess – alcohol poisoning?"
"Yes. He was brought here by paramedics, after he passed out at a bar," the nurse explains to me "Callie, this would be much easier if I could speak to you in person. Could you come down to Mercy hospital?"
I rubbed my forehead as I thought about it "Fine,"
Peter walked up to me, when I put the phone down "Everything okay?"
"My idiotic father is in hospital!" I vent running my palms over my face in frustration. Even though I was mad at him about yesterday, I knew he was only doing his job "It was the hospital. They asked if I can go over there, talk face to face,"
"Go, your shift is almost over. The place is not that full that we can't handle it," Peter tells me, right when my own phone rings. I pull it out of my apron – it was Stef. She was probably calling me, asking me if I need a ride back to the house.
"Hey," I pick it up. I already knew what she was going to say - Stef was calling to tell me that she was on her way.
"Hey, Cal! My shift ended. I'm gonna change and the drive out. I will be there in about 30 minutes,"
"Uh...listen, Stef! Something came up. I have some stuff I need to take care of first. I will get back on my own,"
"I don't mind waiting," Stef says back, I hear her walking. She opened doors to some room and closed them. Probably to the locker room.
"No, no...You don't have to do that. I don't even know myself how long it will take..."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure," I replied as I untied my apron
I slammed the cab doors shut, after Donald got out of it.
"Should I wait?" the cab driver asked me. The driver then glanced to Donald, who was leaning at the end of the car, while he waited for me "Do you need any help with him?
"Um...no thanks. I got it. Thank you for the ride," I got my wallet out form the backpack and got the required money out. The cab driver took the money, while keeping an eye at Donald.
"Come on, lets get you to your place," I tell Donald and help him make his way up to his apartment. I got him to his bedroom and sat him down on the bed. While he sat there, I walked over to the kitchen and got him a glass of water. I set it down on his nightstand and turned, ready to leave this place. I have already helped him enough.
Donald, grabbed my hand, stopping me from leaving "Callie!"
"What?" I pull my hand out from his hold, took a step back and crossed my hands on my chest
"Thank you. For coming...and helping me out,"
"Yeah, whatever..." I mumbled back
"I'm sorry!"
"Sure you are!" I spit back "You are always so sorry afterward!" I uncross my arms "I need to go!"
"Callie!" Donald called after me in desperate tone. I stopped right at the doorway and slowly turned back to him.
He looked down remorsefully "...I used the last of my money in the bar...the rent is due this week-"
"You are unbelievable!" I said through girted teeth as I looked at him in disbelief
He begged me "I will have the hospital bill now as well..."
"I don't have anything to give you! I barely have enough for myself," I tell him as I throw my arms up a little
"Please! I will pay you back. Please, just help me out this one time!"
"My salary got cut a short at the car shop, as did my hours..." Probably because of his drinking - I think to myself "I am going to look for second job. I just...I need a little bit of help...Please, help me out just this once! Please, Callie" He begged me, playing with my feelings.
I don't know what came over me. Maybe I decided to help him, because of Jude. Because I didn't want Jude to see him like this. He was so desperate and miserable. Even I was starting to pity the man.
I got my wallet out and opened it up. I had 375 dollars. 250 was for the rent for Stef, that I needed to pay to her this Friday. I handed Donald the 125. It was all that I could spare. Donald looked down to it and then back up at me.
"125 dollars?" Donald said miserably after he counted the few dollar bills
"I hate you!" I stated angrily, when I handed the rest 250 dollars to him
"I will pay you back! I promise!" Donald called after as I was storming out of his apartment, shoving the now completely empty wallet back in my backpack
January 28th
I was standing in the bathroom, holding the red knitted sweater in my hands, staring at the hole in it. The shirt was ruined. I have had this sweater for more than 2 years now. Time did it's work - I have wore and washed it it too often. It was worn out. This was my favorite sweater. It was so soft even after all of this time.
But more importantly, it reminded me of him. It was Ethan, who bought this sweater for me.
The disintegrating threads in the shirt, were not only making the hole in the sweater bigger, they were also portraying my current situation in real life. Thread by thread - my life was slowly falling apart. This last week was the worst week of my entire life! I was having a streak of bad luck. Nothing was going right. It was just one bad day after another.
My apartment is damaged by the water from my upstairs neighbors. Right now, I don't have the money to fix the damage.
I saw Liam. I'm having flashbacks again. I'm afraid to close my eyes. Every guy with light hair, who is around the same again as he is - reminds me of him.
I am broke, I don't have a dime left, but I still have to pay rent to Stef.
Donald is sucking the life out of me. And now he has gone after my money as well.
Ethan is miles away. I haven't seen him in months! Even though we text, it's not the same. It's not enough. I still miss him!
My brother will be adopted tomorrow, without me.
I will have to move out of this place once Jude is adopted. The worst part -Jude will not be the only person that I am going to miss. I grew too attached to them...
"Everything okay?" I hear the familiar voice of Stef. I quickly toss the sweater down to the basket and blink my eyes, to get rid of the tears
End of flashback
I cover my eyes as sob escaped and tears started to stream down my cheeks.