A/N: Beloved readers: The point of view flops back and forth in this chapter, something I normally abhor. But I have a method to my madness, if nothing more than to throw you off the trail of my thinly veiled plot outline. This will be the only chapter formatted this way. *Pay attention and try to keep up. )
*Sarcasm font (Cuz I'm soooo hard to keep up with. NOT.)
Special thanks to TwilightMndi for not shooting me when I asked if I could have this by Tuesday when I sent it on Sunday, and for not translating it into Portuguese in retaliation. I love your wonderful heart, and you make this long-ass road trip much less bumpy.
Barburella, how many ways can I profess my adoration of you? Thank you, for so many things I can't list them all here. Most of all, thank you for your friendship. You are a sister of the heart.
Barbi and Liz's Road Trip Play List: "The House That Built Me"- Miranda Lambert, "Home"- Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros, "Head Hull Of Doubt, Road Full Of Promise"- Avett Brothers, "Listen TO Your Heart"- D.H.T., "Come Home"- One Republic & Sara Bareilles, "Home"- Michael Buble
I still own nothing worth claiming. Render to Stephenie what is Steph's and all that jazz...
Chapter 25- Roads and Realizations
BPOV
~oOo~
After the offer to extend my stint with the orchestra, I knew I needed to get out of the city and clear my head so I could decide what I wanted to do. I got the sweet lady across the hall to agree to let Darcy stay with her while I was gone. She also agreed to pop in and take care of Chaucer while I took a few days to get some things settled. Before I went anywhere, though, I had a promise to keep. I sat at my computer waiting for the call to come through. It was 8:04; he was four minutes late. Part of me wondered what had kept him, he was always right on time for our "scheduled" Monday Skype dates. The other part of me was thinking what a dork I was that I considered four minutes "late". Right around that time the screen flashed Mini's picture and the annoying ring of a Skype call sounded from the speakers.
"Hey, buddy," I accepted the call and clicked to make the call a video chat. "How are ya?"
"Hey, B! I'm great! Where's Darce?"
"Wow. I'm good, Masen. Thanks for asking," I deadpanned and pulled Darcy into view of the camera. "Here he is. I know he's the main reason you're calling anyway."
"Aw, B! Don't be like that! I just wanted to say hi to him so we could talk. Hey, Darcy! You being a good boy?" The mutt was crushing my legs trying to get closer to the screen and the boy he loved. The screen filled with a shot of his snout as he moved too close to the camera.
"Ew, Mr. D! Knock it off? You're killing me! I'll be paralyzed from the waist down if you don't get off me. That's enough; you saw the kid, now, sit!" The beast grudgingly obeyed and sat next to me on the floor so Masen could see us both while we talked. "So what kept you, Mini? You were late," I teased him.
"Dad made me practice before I called. I was running behind tonight. I wasn't that late, was I?"
"Nah. I'm just giving you a hard time. How're your lessons coming with Jake?" I mindlessly pet Darcy while talking to his boy. He settled down, content to hear Mini's voice and get attention from me.
"They're okay, I guess. I mean, I'm learning new stuff and all that, but it's not the same as it is with you."
"That's sweet of you to say, Mase, but you know that Jake is a phenomenal instructor. It's all about your attitude. Just do your best, okay?"
"Okay," he conceded.
"Okay," I parroted. "So, how's your dad? What's he doing?" I hoped that sounded as easygoing as I had intended. It wasn't very likely.
"He's fine, and he's doing the dishes."
"Sounds like a ton of fun. Isn't that your job, mister?"
"Yeah, but he said that he'd do them tonight so I could call you and not be too late."
"What a nice dad! You had best not give him a hard time about practicing tomorrow as a 'thank you' and tell him I said 'hi'."
"Yeah, I will, and I guess you're right."
"Hey! What do you mean 'guess'? I'm always right, remember?" My hands propped themselves on my hips in mild protest.
"How could I forget? You're constantly reminding me." His giggle sounded through the computer. He stuck his tongue out at me playfully. I'd never missed him more than I did at that moment.
~oOo~
EPOV
A storm was rolling in off the water, and the sand beneath me was cool. I pulled my jacket closer to my body. The grey of the sky matched my mood. I'd been sitting on the shore for almost an hour listening to the waves and wind and thinking about Bella and Masen. And Bella. Mostly Bella. I'd been considering what to do about our renewed communication. The emails, calls, texts- all of it- was more than I'd imagined possible after she left. We were in daily contact with one another, and each interaction was the highlight of my day. I'd find myself grinning at the screen on my phone after she'd text me randomly or chuckling at something I remembered her telling me the day before. I thought of her more often than not, and while I loved the thought of Bella being on my mind that much, nothing had changed regarding her being hundreds of miles away. We were still exactly where we were the day she left. Except that I was considerably more open to the possibility of a long distance relationship. Isn't there some saying about absence making the heart grow fonder? In my case it was distance...
~oOo~
The sand next to me shifted when Alice sat down. "Hey, there, wonder twin," she said as she settled against my side.
"Wow. It's been a long time since you called me that. What brings you out here?"
"Well, I've been watching you from my balcony for a while now, and I thought you looked like you could use some company. Man, it's getting chilly out here."
"A little. I'm fine, you don't have to stay out here. I don't want you catching a cold and sneezing all over the shop for the next week, infecting the rest of the guys."
"Aw! Aren't you a sweetie? Who knew you had a soft, creamy center?"
"Don't let it get around. I'd hate for my bad ass image to be compromised by a little sibling bonding." We both chuckled, and Alice bumped my arm with her shoulder. "Ouch! Watch where you poke that thing! You need to put some meat on those bones of yours, little sis. How is Jazz not covered in bruises from head to toe?"
"Maybe he is. They're just well camouflaged." Her well-manicured eyebrows did a crazy jumpy thing on her forehead.
"Gross, Alice. What happens in Chez Whitlock, stays in Chez Whitlock. Please."
"You brought it up, twinnie. Don't ask, don't tell."
"Okay, okay. Got it." I shook my head partly in disbelief and partly to clear my head of any wayward images of my best friend and my sister. "So what really brought you out here?"
"Honestly? I thought you looked like you needed someone to talk to. I felt that pull. So, rather than fight it and let you brood, I decided to be the amazeballs sister that I am and come sit in the freezing wind and listen to your shit load of problems. So, spill."
We sat there for a moment, the quiet between us peaceful and tangible. There had always been that connection between us. Words weren't always needed for us to convey what was on our minds. It wasn't anything like telepathy, more like an understanding, a deep connection. Maybe it was all that time we'd spent together in the womb; whatever the reason, she knew me in a way no one else did. Knew when to push me, knew when to back off. Knew when to let me think, and knew when to fill the silence. Right then she let sounds of the sea lull the conversation from me. It worked.
"I miss her, Alice. Really miss her."
"We all do, Edward. You're not the only one who loves her," her own loss tainted the tone of her voice.
"I know, but it isn't the same."
"Bullshit. Love is love. Just because you did dirty, dirty things to her doesn't mean that we love her any less. Just differently."
"Uh, Allie, I think we need to have a discussion about boundaries. I'm not entirely comfortable about talking to you about what I did or didn't do with Bella." A nervous chuckle rumbled from my chest.
"Shut it. I'm not interested in talking about you and Bella doing the nasty. What I am interested in talking about is what you plan to do about missing her."
"I don't know. That's part of the problem. What is there for me to do?" I paused and our quiet wrapped around us. "She's in New York, living her dream and I'm... here." Alice wrapped her arms around my bicep, resting her head against my arm. A shiver shook through her, but she ignored it. After a few minutes she spoke up.
"So go there."
"What? You're kidding, right?"
"No. Why would I kid about that?"
"I can't just show up there."
"Well, duh! You call her first, goomba."
"You really think she'd want me to visit?"
"She seemed genuinely happy to have us visit her."
"That's different, I doubt I'd get the same reception you guys did."
"Why?"
"Come on, Alice! You know why. There's history there; so much has been left unsaid."
"Then go see her and make it right! Edward, if you can't man up and swallow your pride then you don't deserve that woman. And you're not the man I've always believed you to be."
She never raised her voice; the calm that radiated from her was almost creepy. There was no drama, but plenty of passion. And love. She was holding up the proverbial mirror, forcing me to look at myself and decide what it was that I wanted. One of the downfalls of beach living was all that sand- plenty of real estate to play ostrich in. Alice was helping me get out of my own way.
I was mentally swimming in a sea of gratitude when she quietly and simply stated, "I think she'd love to see you, Edward."
I snapped out of my stupor to pose a hypothetical situation.
"Let's say I go to New York. Then what?"
"Then you talk to her, sweetie. You two need to talk."
"We have been talking. For a while now."
"I mean really talk. You need to tell her how you feel and she needs to hear it. That being said you need to hear what she has to say as well. I think you're both ready to listen. Something tells me that the time is right and that you should go soon."
"You mean like a premonition?"
"No. I can't see the future, dork." she playfully punched me. "Call it women's intuition. Call her and then go. Don't over think it. We'll take care of Mini. Just go."
I sat there letting her words sink in; the waves rushed up onto the shore and then sulked back into the sea. I wrapped my arm around my sister, drawing her closer.
"Thanks, Allie."
"For what?"
"For being you. For knowing what I needed. For not kicking sand on my face when I was down."
"Oh, please. I haven't kicked sand at you since we were little, and you deserved it for destroying my sandcastle masterpiece. Admit it." she teased.
"I will do no such thing."
"Admit it, or I will kick sand at you!"
"Okay! Okay!" I held up my hands in surrender. "I deserved it. I shouldn't have gone all Godzilla on your Sand Tokyo."
"It was Sand Topia, and it was perfection until you stomped it to rubble!" she pouted just like she had when we were kids all those years earlier.
"I love you, twinnie," I pulled her into a hug.
"I love you, too, Edward." She extended her fist and I bumped it with my own. "Wonder twins..."
"UNITE!" we chimed together.
"Now, get your ass up there and get our girl."
"Yes, sir!" I saluted her and ran up the path to the condos. I could hear her laughing behind me as she followed me.
"You STILL run like a girl!" she called.
I saluted her with a single finger over my shoulder as I ran like a girl to go call my girl.
~oOo~
I was putting the last of the dishes away when I heard the cutest giggle. Drying my hands I peered around the corner to see Mini with his back to me; the computer screen in front of him framed a beautiful image of Bella with Darcy by her side. My heart lurched towards the scene. The little bugger had beat me to calling Bella like I'd planned. So, the two were entrenched in a chat that I was dying to crash. And crash it I did.
"Hey, beautiful!" I called to out into the room.
"Oh, hey yourself, handsome," came her response. "I didn't know you were in the room or I would have said hello sooner. You're mighty stealthy these days." I made my way to crouch down into the range of the camera.
"Well, I was talking to the magnificent beast next to you, but hey to you too, Bella."
"Shut it, Cullen. Don't make me hurt you, mister," she pseudo threatened.
"Please, Swan. Like I'm afraid of you." She gasped at my scoff.
"You know I can and will do you harm, Edward Cullen. Don't press your luck."
"I'd watch out if I were you, Dad. You're on thin ice. She double-named you." Mini had been looking back and forth between the two of us like he was watching a tennis match. His wise warning didn't fall on deaf ears. I knew I needed to be on her good side when I suggested the possibility of visiting her in the next week or so. I tried to smooth things over and wrap up the mock argument.
"Okay, okay. You win. Double naming wins out every time. I'll behave. In fact I have to get back to work. It was good to see and hear you, B. You look wonderful, as usual."
"Aw, thanks, Edward. Same to you. We'll talk soon. G'Night."
"Night, B." I forced myself to stand and go back into the kitchen while they wrapped up their call.
For the rest of the night I wore a stupid, silly grin like a badge of honor.
~oOo~
BPOV
Wednesday found me on a plane. I stepped of the ramp into the airport and prayed that this trip would give me the answers I so desired. Hurrying to catch a cab, I powered on my phone and called Rene. The call went to her voice mail, and I left a message.
"Hey, Mom. I'm here. The flight was fine. I can't believe how hot it is here. I don't remember it being this hot this time of year. Um, I'm jumping in a cab now and heading to the house. I'll let you know once I get there. I love you. Bye."
The taxi pulled up to a familiar facade and I paid the driver. I really should have had him stay, just in case things didn't go as I planned, but I could always call for another if I needed to. I carefully made my way up the walk to the front door, my carry on rolling behind me. I took in the landscape; it wasn't so different from when I was there last. The realization surprised me. I wondered what else would be the same. I stood at the door, poised to knock.
With a deep breath I said to myself, "Here goes nothing," and rapped at the worn wood with three quick knocks. The butterflies threatened to burst out of my stomach at any moment, and with them what little lunch I'd had. What was I thinking, coming here like this- unannounced and uninvited? I just knew that I was going to be back on a plane, headed for New York and without any of the answers I'd come for.
"I should have called first," I chastised myself under my breath. "A little warning would have probably been nice."
Checking my watch I saw it had been almost two minutes since I knocked. I did so again. No answer. Just as I turned to leave the door flew open. "Can I help you?" The voice belonged to a kind faced woman at least a decade older than myself drying her hands on a dish towel.
"Um, yes. My Name is Bella Swan, and I grew up here. I know this is weird, but I'm visiting from New York, and I was wondering if maybe I could look around?" I knew it was highly unlikely that anyone in this day and age would simply let a stranger into their home to poke around simply because they claimed to live there twenty-some-odd years earlier. So I wasn't surprised when the woman kindly declined my request.
"Really? It's nice to meet you. I'm Sissy. Sissy Johns." Mrs. Johns leaned against the door jam, "Well... I don't know... I'm sorry, Ms. Swan, but I don't know you and I really don't feel comfortable letting you in. I'm sure you understand." The woman's voice sounded genuinely apologetic, and I rushed to assure her that I did understand.
"Of course, I do, Mrs. Johns, but I've come all the way from New York to Phoenix to visit. Do you think that I might be able to just look around in the yard? Maybe sit on the porch steps for a bit? I promise you won't even know I'm here."
"Well, I guess that'd be okay. Don't see the harm in letting you wander around in the wilds of the backyard. If you come across the old push mower buried amongst the weeds and cacti feel free to strong arm it a pass or two." I thanked her profusely, and she slipped back into the house with a wink and grin.
I left my bag on the porch and stepped down the few weathered steps and made my way around back. She wasn't kidding; the backyard was calf high in dead, dried weeds up near the house, and further out the yard had become overrun by bramble and cactus bushes. I stuck close to the perimeter of the house not wanting to get snagged on any of the menacing flora.
I came across a concrete slab, cracked and dusty at the foot of the back stairs that led up to the back porch. A faint memory of Reese and me pressing our hands into concrete had me toeing the dust and sand to unearth the two sets of tiny handprints that I recalled leaving there. Sure enough, they were there along with our names and the date scratched in the once-wet concrete. I knelt down and pressed my hands into the imprints there. First into my own and then into Reese's. She had been two when dad had poured the slab. I loved to ride my bike and Mom had badgered him into it, claiming she wanted me to have a safe, smooth place to ride in back where she could keep an eye on me. Eventually a picnic table and grill had made their way onto the patch of concrete, but the obstacles made my afternoon rides more interesting.
I fished my phone from my back pocket snapped a shot of the two sets of prints, the closest I could get to bringing them back with me. I sat on the step and sent a copy of the picture to my mom via email with the subject line "Good Memories" so she'd know I was there and okay. I got a text in reply that read, "Thanks, baby. Call if you need your momma." I didn't need to answer.
I looked out over the yard, trying to remember what it looked like when we were younger. We'd had a play set with a slide and swings. There was a set of monkey bars that stretched across the top. I used to love climbing to the top and look out at the world. I also loved that I could get up there and Reese couldn't. She'd stand underneath and whine for me to come down or help her up. I'd tease her for a little while, then eventually I'd relent and swing down over the side to land next to her. Then we'd swing for days and days. At least it felt that way. We'd stay out there until Momma called us in for dinner.
I heard a door slide open behind me, and I looked up to see Mrs. Johns come out with two tall glasses of what looked like pink lemonade. She extended one to me and took a seat next to me, "You looked thirsty sitting there."
"Thank you, I am. The air from the plane really sucks the moisture out of ya. Not to mention that I'd forgotten how hot it gets here."
"When were you here last?" We both took a long pull on our drinks. It was like a sip of heaven; the sweet balancing the sour perfectly.
"Um, about twenty years ago. Give or take a few; we moved to Florida when I was little."
"I'd always wondered who these prints belonged to. It's nice to finally meet the girl behind the hands."
"It's hard to imagine we were ever that small. Even Reese. She was my sister," I clarified.
"Reese... what a pretty name. Unusual."
"It's short for Theresa. Dad liked to call her Reesey Cup. She passed away when we were very small." I hadn't planned on blurting that last part out, it just spilled out.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She gasped, her hand covering her mouth that hung open in shock. "How tragic for you're family. That must have been devastating!"
"Thank you, Ms. Johns-"
"Please, Bella, call me Sissy. Everyone does."
"Okay, Sissy," it felt funny calling someone else a nickname I'd been called all my life. "Thank you, but it was a long time ago. She was a very important part of our family, and it was the most difficult thing we've ever had to deal with. She was our life. I miss her everyday." I drank more of the lemonade. I blamed the tickle at the back of my throat on being thirsty, but the truth was, sitting there talking about Reese, had stirred up some raw emotions.
"When did you move?"
"We moved to Florida about a year after Reese's accident. I haven't been back here since then."
"That's a long time to be gone. No wonder you wanted to come in and look around." I nodded in acknowledgement. We sat there for a few minutes then Sissy said, "Come inside out of the heat. You can have a look at your old home and tell me if it's changed much."
"Oh, no! You don't have to do that. I'm fine, really. Sitting here has been great, and I can't blame you for not wanting a weirdo in your home."
"Please. I insist," she touched my shoulder and got up to lead me inside. "And I highly doubt you're a weirdo, Bella."
We walked into the little dining area off the kitchen. It was much smaller than I remembered, but wasn't that how it went when you knew something from your childhood? The kitchen had been recently remodeled and was efficient and somewhat modern without being out of place in the older home. I set my glass on the counter as I took in the space. "This is a great kitchen. My mom would have loved this," I complimented.
"Thanks, Frank and I fancy ourselves weekend warriors and did some remodeling last year. We're very happy with the results." She was being humble, but the pride in her voice was clear. And she was right to be proud. The work was all done very well. "Feel free to roam around downstairs. I'm gonna switch over some laundry then I'll take you upstairs, okay?"
"That'd be wonderful. Thank you."
"Don't mention it, Bella."
She walked off in what I assumed was the direction of the laundry room, and I continued on into the dinning room. It hadn't changed much except for the furniture and paint. It opened up to the cozy family room that we had all cuddled up and watched movies together in, where my first piano had sat against the far wall. Here, again, the furniture was newer and the colors rich and inviting. If Mom had been involved in the outfitting of this room it would have had a decidedly more bohemian feel to it. This, however, was a room where you wanted to sink into the couch and read a favorite book. Sissy came in the room just as I was about to test out the "comfortabilty" of the aforementioned comfy couch, "Ready to head upstairs?"
"Yes, I think so. Your home is lovely, Sissy. You and Mr. Johns have done a wonderful job with the renovations."
"Well, thanks, Bella. The old place had good bones. It didn't take much to whip her into shape. It was evident to us from the moment we walked through the door that a lot of love had been shared here. There was this vibe that we got when we toured it. We knew immediately that this was the home for us. It's nice to know the source of that loving vibe." She reached to grasp my hand and gave it a warm squeeze. We started up the stairs with her in the lead.
"Do you and Frank have children?" Maybe it was a little intrusive for me to have asked, but I hadn't noticed any pictures of kids when I was looking around downstairs.
"No, we were never blessed with children of our own, but Frank is a Troop leader for one of the local Boy Scout chapters, and I'm a middle school history teacher, so we're surrounded by children. What about you, Bella? Do you have a family of your own?"
I thought immediately of Edward and Mini. They might not have been mine, per say, but I would always consider them as such. "I'm single, but I'm also a teacher, so we have that in common. I hope to someday have a family. Who knows who or what's waiting around the corner, right?"
"Right!" We reached the top of the stairs and she motioned to the room to her left, "I use this room as a sewing-slash-craft room." I peeked in to what used to be a guest room when we lived there. It was neatly appointed with everything a sewer-slash-crafter could dream of.
"This is a great room! My mom would love it. It's so organized!"
"Yeah," she laughed, "I'm kind of a nut case about this stuff. My husband's just grateful it's all contained in one room." I glanced across the hall to a mostly closed door that used to be Mom and Dad's room. Next was the bathroom that I was surprised hadn't seen the same renovations that most of the rest of the house had. "We're still trying to decide how we want to do this bath. It's the last thing on the "reno" list and we just can't seem to get around to do it."
"I can understand being busy, believe me."
"Well, we'll do it one day. So what do you teach in the big city, Bella?"
"Excuse me?" I was confused by her question and distracted by where we were headed next.
"You said that you're a teacher and that you live in New York; I was just wondering what you teach." I didn't get a chance to answer her. We came to the next room: the room Reese and I shared for years. Her question was quickly forgotten. She went in first. "This is the guest room. Honestly, it's my favorite room in the house. I love that the bay window looks out over the front yard." So had Reese.
"This was our room," my voice was barely a whisper. "We shared a room because she loved being close to me. Even as a baby." There were two twin beds with a nightstand between them on the same wall that our beds had been on.
"Have a seat," Sissy motioned to them. I sat on one and she sat across from me. "She sounds like she adored you."
A smile and chuckle escaped at the memory of just how devoted she was. "Yeah, she was pretty attached. She called me Sissy, you know."
"No, really?" She smiled.
"My parents still call me that every once in a while. More so recently. I think we're all starting to finally be in a place where we see her life as a blessing rather than a loss. It has taken a long time, but I think we're finally getting there. That's why I'm here. I needed to come back and say goodbye. I never got that chance."
"Oh, sweetie," Sissy reached across and grasped my hand, offering strength and peace to a complete stranger. "I'm glad you came back then. You want me to leave you alone for a few minutes? Take your time. Just come down when you're ready."
"Are you sure? I hate that I'm imposing on you. You've been so kind. I don't want to take advantage..."
"I absolutely do not mind. Please, make yourself at home." she winked at me and with a final squeeze of my hand left me alone with my thoughts and memories.
For a while I just sat there. Looking at the empty bed across from me. I could feel Reese around me, but that wasn't anything new. I knew she was a part of me, part of my heart. I had come with a purpose: to put the past behind me and make decisions about my future. What better place to do that then there in the room we'd shared for years, dreaming and planning our futures together.
I closed my eyes and an image of Reese flooded my mind. Yeah, she was there. Not in a ghostly, haunting kind of way, just that my memory of her was fresh and vivid.
In my mind's eye she was beautiful- and filthy- like the day she decided to make mud pies for everyone. It hadn't rained in months, and everything was dry and dusty, but that didn't stop our Reesey Cup. She came to each of us and asked what our favorite kind of pie was and then pretended to write the "orders" out on a pad. It didn't faze her that she couldn't read or write yet. Whatever she wrote down on that pad made sense to her, and she took her orders very seriously.
She went and dug through Mom's pans, toting most of them out back. Next was the hose. She heaved and hoed until she'd wrestled the beast to her makeshift kitchen. It spit and sputtered when she turned the spigot on. By the time Mom found her the ground was saturated and puddled, there were about ten "pies" of varying "flavors", and Reese was covered from head to toe in mud. As Mom hosed her off she was doubly shocked to find that not only had Reese just converted the backyard into the new neighborhood pig sty, but she'd also decided to do so in her brand new Easter dress. The dress that we'd spent the entire day before shopping for. And I'd sat on the steps and watch her do it all. When Mom had recovered from the shock, she ordered us both upstairs into the tub to bathe, put on our jammies, and go to bed without dinner. I protested all the way up the stairs that I was innocent while Reese wailed over how she had only wanted to do something nice for dessert.
Later, as we lay in bed, she in hers and me in mine, she whimpered and pleaded to join me as she normally would. I was in a foul mood for being punished for a crime I didn't commit and adamantly refused, but when she cried, "Please, Sissy! My tummy won't stop reminding me of those yummy pies and I can't sleep with it rumbling so loud," the sniffles and hitched breaths of a broken heart softened mine and I relented.
As she snuggled in next to me she told me that now she knew how Winnie the Pooh felt when his honey pot was empty. Then she asked me to sing her song.
I shifted my weight to lie down on the bed and hummed the tune to Reese's song to myself. It was there in our childhood bedroom, surrounded by unfamiliar furniture, that I finally forgave myself and my sister for all those years of loss and hurt. I forgave her for leaving me alone when she had always clung to me. I realized then that I'd been clinging to her, too. It was time to let her go, to say goodbye. I knew just the place I wanted to do that.
~oOo~
After collecting myself and I headed downstairs. The smell of cookies baking filled my nose when I entered the kitchen. We sat in her little dinning room and chatted over delicious chocolate chip cookies. She asked about my job and life back in Florida. I regaled her with stories of my friends and family. I told her about how I had been teaching music and loved it, but was now working with the Philharmonic temporarily. She was mildly impressed and it made me laugh. When I spoke about the offer of a year-long contract she said, "Well, that doesn't sound temporary." The woman sounded exactly like mother; she would have said the same thing. "What about your family and job back in Florida? What will you do about those?"
"Well, I could put the house on the market, or even just rent it out as a vacation home for the year."
"Is that something you're comfortable doing? It sounds like you love your life in Florida."
"I am, don't get me wrong, but I can't help wondering if I won't be missing the chance of a lifetime if I walk away from New York now. I feel like I've just gotten started there."
"It sounds to me like you have a tough choice to make, Sis." Hearing her use the endearment made my heart skip a beat. "You have two amazing opportunities, both are equally wonderful. That makes the decision even harder. I guess in the end you have to follow your heart, sweetie." And she was right. Coming here had shown me that. Now I needed listen so I knew what it was my heart desired.
With a baggie full of cookies, and a heart full of love for my new friend, Sissy, I climbed into the cab that I'd called to pick me up. The two "Sissy"s exchanged information and we promised to keep in touch. My next stop was the Peaceful Gardens Cemetery, where Reese was buried. I'd never been there before. I had been so badly injured in the accident that took Reese that I hadn't been able to attend the service. It was a year later that we moved to Florida, and in that time I was never brought to her grave. It took a little searching on my part, but I found her plot after visiting the office and the kind old man behind the desk was very helpful.
I approached her headstone, a beautiful heart-shaped pink granite. It looked like something Reese would have loved. The inscription had her full name with her birth and death dates. Under that were the words, "Rest, our beloved daughter and sister. You may not be with us, but you will forever be safe in the arms of our hearts. We will always love you." Emotions I'd been warring all day to keep under control welled up as I read it over and over. I'd never even seen a picture of her headstone, so it caught me completely off guard. It felt awkward not having any flowers to leave. I decided to call a local florist and have some delivered that afternoon. I settled for brushing the dust off the stone. I sat on the ground next to it and just waited. For what I wasn't sure.
Time passed unnoticed as I sat quietly remembering Reese. I wasn't really all that sad; to be honest I had a deep feeling of peace. I also didn't feel like Reese was there. I'd felt her more back at the Johns' than I did sitting at her grave. Hell, I felt her presence more back home in Florida!
I spent a few more moments sitting there. Thinking about the potential this child had, about the life that ended far too soon, and about how even though her years may have been few she still managed to change so many lives. Some of those people had never even met her.
Something in me shifted at that moment. For years I had seen Reese as the lark in the story from our childhood; free to soar while I was stuck rooted to the earth. Somewhere along the way that changed. It was my time to fly, and the first place I needed my new wings to take was New York City.
~oOo~
Later that night as I sat in bed reading a book about Lords of the Underworld (some books Allie had sent me and insisted I read) my phone chimed with a text from Edward.
Hey. When will you be back from your trip?
Hey yourself! Well, I was given through Sunday off, but I'm not sure I'm gonna stay that long. Why?
Cuz I was thinking about coming up for a visit, but I didn't want to be in the way.
What? My mind was screaming! Edward wanted to visit me? As in the next few days?
Um, well... let me call the airlines and see when I can get a flight back.
OK. Don't rush back on my account. I just thought I'd see when you were available. Wasn't sure you'd even want me to come.
Shut up! Are you kidding me? Of course I do!
Fine, fine! I was hoping to hear you perform while I was there, but since you're off I'll settle for a Broadway show.
Actually, I can probably sit on Saturday or Sunday if I can get back in time.
That would be awesome! Let me know about your flight so I can make my arrangements.
Will do.
JetBlue got me on an afternoon flight on Thursday. My director was more than happy to have me sit for the Sunday matinee performance. I decided to keep Saturday open to spend with Edward. His flight would get him in NYC on Friday night and we made plans to meet up and have dinner Friday after he checked into his hotel.
I sat in an airport in North Carolina, waiting for my connecting flight to JFK. I reached into my pocket and felt something crinkly there. I pulled out the fortune cookie from the sweet and sour chicken I'd had delivered the night before. Bored with my book, I unwrapped it and cracked it open. I popped the first half in my mouth and crunched the hell out of the orange-flavored, stale "cookie". As I chewed I read my fortune:
"On the road to life there are many paths. Sometimes you have to take the one you least expected to get to where you were always meant to be."
That cookie couldn't have been any more correct. My life's road had been far from what I'd always imagined. The twists and turns kept me guessing what was around each new bend. This trip was further proof of that.
Boarding for Flight 516 to JFK was called then. Dazed, I gathered my bag and my purse and climbed aboard a plane that would carry me to my future. The cookie even said so.
~oOo~
A/N: The story of the Lark and the Daisy is in CH18- Daisies & Dreams if you want to refresh your memory.
Edward's POV and visit to Bella is next. It was written as part of this chapter, but had over 8K of words to say, so he got his own chapter to say them. It will post within the next day or so. Then all we have left is the last chapter & epilogue.
Thank you for reading. ~Liz