Sorry for delay...I hope its worth the wait. Thank you again for all of your comments please keep leaving them; they make me smile :o) Cleo xx
At the exhibition, Jen had not been able to see beyond the limitations of the circumstance. None of her actions had come from a truly selfish place, she simply wanted to protect their love; it belonged to them.
After the arguments, especially with Ky, she finally acknowledges that her hypocritical behavior has given mixed signals once again. She had on numerous occasions, ran her fingers seductively across Tilly's skin, where her dress had allowed a window of perfection during the exhibition. However, the teen had simply said 'I've been looking for you' and in a panic she had denied their relationship; worse to a complete stranger.
The thought hurt her, as much as the action, had evidently hurt Tilly. She remembers the excitement she had felt traveling to Ky's, knowing she could be open with her lover in public. In theory Jen dreamed of holding her hand and introducing her as her partner; it seemed in practice she was more of a coward.
Now here, they were again safe from the public eye, and Jen is already trying to seduce her. Ky had been right, she openly loved Tilly...only when they were alone. She would make the changes needed tomorrow; tonight, however, she merely needs to make amends.
She unclasp the material around Tilly's neck, the dress falls effortlessly to the floor; leaving the teen stood in just a pair of green laced knickers. No bra had been required at the opening, a strap would have ruined the backless design, plus the dress offered ample support for Tilly's breast; they were youthfully pert. The teacher senses nervousness coming from her usually confident and often dominate lover; she pulls Tilly into an embrace.
"Do you trust me? she asks, terrified that tonight's rejection may have been one to many for her sensitive teen. "Do you forgive me?" she continues.
Tilly's head remains lowered. She had been naked in front of Jen before, however, tonight she felt very vulnerable and exposed. She did of course forgive the brunette; yet, she did not know how to overcome the fear of opening up to simply be hurt again. She may well have been sexually free with Jen from the start, it was because she felt safe; however, she is actually naturally reserved and far from promiscuous. Perhaps the older women did not care about the emotional impact behind the act? Tilly's body, however, connected with Jen through the intensity of her feelings, lust was purely the fuel. Jen asked to make love to her tonight, did she mean it? Was there indeed more than lust behind the teachers caressing touch?
"I'm just scared" Tilly finally confesses.
"I'm doing everything all wrong" Jen announces, shifting backwards.
Tilly looks up, a pang of guilt spreading across her face; she is more than aware of the pressure Jen is under. Tilly is usually logical to a fault, she knows deep down, the teacher is risking the world to even be seen with her in a public place. She knows it is her stubborn heart that is demanding more from the situation; wishing Jen would be consistent.
"No, you're not. We are both making mistakes. We are both confused how to act and where we stand. we need to get away from everything so desperately." Tilly replies eventually. It is society that comes between them, alone they are perfect. Tilly is mad at the world, not Jen: she only wishes her lover had her strength. Jen's weakness had annoyed her tonight "This is the last time I'm going to fight for us tho Jen." she concludes. She did not need to say anymore, Jen understood. "Now kiss me and remind me why I stayed" She adds.
Jen knew Tilly was serious, this is her last chance; one more screw up and Tilly would walk away for good. No explanation would save them. Tilly with her feline prowess had already exhausted six of her lives in pursuit of Jen...she only had one heart left. Tonight the teacher would have to proof she deserved to have it belong to her. Tilly needed an answer...Was this love or just a game?
Jen's confidence is stripped, Tilly senses the switch; she is given the chance to take control of the teacher. She roughly tugs down Jen's dress and swiftly unfastened her bra; both garments lie in a heap around Jen's feet. She moves backwards resting on the bedside cabinet, hooking two fingers into the brunettes pant line, she pulls Jen towards her. Her seating position unbalancing the height ratio, Tilly's eyes are now level with the teachers chest. She opens her knees wide, places her hands on Jen's bum and pulls her lover between her legs; burying her face in Jen's breast in the process.
Jen grips the back of Tilly head with both hands as she feels the teen take one of her nipples in her teeth, wandering hands massage her bum; as her lover sucks hard on her breast, the nipple still clenched securely in her teeth. The sensation on such a sensitive area boarders between pleasure and pain. Tilly bites harder, causing the teacher to call out, Tilly does not let go and simple rolls her gaze up to meet the brunette's stare; Jen realizes she is being punished. She moves her hands to the cabinet for support. Tilly may have forgiven her, backing down, yet, it is clear she is not going down without a fight..literally. The pun make Jen laugh, which is a mistake; Tilly switches breast and clamps down even harder on the other nipple.
"ok, ok" Jen finally announces. squeezing Tilly's jaw to force it open.
The teacher grabs Tilly's hand and pulls her up from the cabinet "Lie with me, lets talk" she adds, they both climb on to the bed; lying side by side with their shoulders propped up by pillows. They allow their legs to intertwine, their free hand joins and their finger wrestle together playfully.
"I may have a high sex drive Tilly but I'm not a man...lust does not control my actions." Jen finally speaks, letting the teen know she understands why she is being punished; Tilly needs to know Jen's sexual motives and inner feelings. "but unfortunately neither does my head, when your involved." she sighs, however, gives the teen a goofy wide mouth grin; letting Tilly know she means this more in jest than seriousness. Three words is all it would take for her to convince her younger lover, however, she is unable to say them; taking the job would seem so big a betrayal.
She knew she needed to tell her about college, tonight would not be sensible, they had already both been through too much already; plus the teen would surely leave without a way or means to get home. However, Tilly did deserve a window into her far too secretive mind, letting her guards down for the first time; showing her lover just how weak and scared she has become too. She takes a deep breath and open her heart; finally attempting to talk.
"Since the day of the college fire, my whole life has been upside down. I've always prided myself on my moral objectively. but in that moment I split into two people." she looks at their moving fingers reminiscing the chaotic scene outside the college, billowing smoke circling the mingling thrill induced teens; her first day offering an omen of the future. She returns her gaze to Tilly "One side of me was so angry and wanted nothing to do with you or the situation." Tilly laughs "It's not funny, I still can't believe you lied to me about being at Uni." she adds with a mock scowl.
Tilly smiles "I guess, I just really wished at that point I was Jen. You were gorgeous, I would've lied to a priest" she responds. Jen giggles, deep down glad the teen had lied; it had led to a kiss.
"but the new second side of me..." she pauses and rubs her face, as if the memory is hard for her to confess. Tilly waits patiently knowing Jen needs to talk, she is secretly reveling in this rare openness from her lover. "The other side was so terrified you were hurt and I wanted so desperately to hold you." she laughs "You were stood there with your charcoal face staring so guiltily at me..." she sighs "..but you still looked so breath takingly beautiful" she kisses the teens shoulder. Tilly strokes her hair, silently urging her lover to continue.
Jen's face smiles at further memory "Gawd and bloody Keeler was telling me to take you to the hospital... I just froze." she giggles again but further thoughts cause her smile to slip, she looks up into Tilly's eyes "The entire ambulance trip was a silent hell...and sat outside your room, I wanted to just rush in, hold your face in my hands and tell you...you weren't alone and I wasn't mad at you." she pauses and looks away again "but I couldn't and I wasn't allowed to feel. You were a pupil and a stranger but...shit Tilly you had bewitched me that day on Crosby beach. You were right it didn't change how I felt. but in that moment I wanted so desperately not to feel that way." Jen touches her mouth, as if searching for the permanent mark, that Tilly's lips had left on hers that day among the Gormleys.
"Actually, no." she laughs breaking from her reverie "I think I was under your spell from the moment you told me I had a superiority complex at your art exhibition." she smiles and lift up from the bed in an animated theatrical show "yes its mine...and the superiority complex is definitely yours!" She continues in an exaggerated impersonation of Tilly. The teen slaps her on the arm as Jen buries her head in the pillow laughing. Jen sighs again and rolls onto her back, looking up at the ceiling. Tilly is starting to understand why the teacher finds it so hard to communicate her emotions; they really were all other the place.
"And I'm scared...I'm so scared...that if I give into this...I'll lose everything else and destroy both our lives." She turns her head to look up at the red-head " You're so brave and strong Tilly, but I'm not...I'm just a confused coward. I have to fit into their rules and regulation, it's part of being an adult. When we are in public I have to follow their rules and conform but its fake...its all a façade. since I met you...In your arms is the only place I feel whole and when we're alone..."
"It's the only time you can be yourself." Tilly completes her sentence, moving down the bed and positioning herself onto of the teacher; kissing her compassionately. The teen had heard enough, Jen had earned her kiss "Tonight...we're alone. tonight I'm yours." she adds. leaning down and kissing Jen again passionately on her reciprocating lips.
"I'm usually so together and in control...then you look at me and a fall to pieces. Just one look Tilly. Tonight when I saw you in that dress , when I first saw you, I was so afraid that if I kissed you, I would tear it off your body and take you on the worktop" Jen replies.
"I've wanted you since the moment I saw you standing in the kitchen. I took all my strength just to keep breathing." Tilly responds.
Jen wraps her arms around the younger woman's body and rolls them over on the bed. She hovers over Tilly's face, her breathing deep and long, already in the start of a pant. She subconsciously licks and sucks her own lips, as her eyes dance flirtatious between the teens soulful emerald eyes and her beckoning rose pink lips. She speaks in a breathless whisper, her own lips so close to Tilly, the teen can almost taste the words "god, what are you doing to me, Tilly."
"Show me." Tilly replies. Jen attempts to move her hands "No, don't move." the teen continues and Holds Jen's face in her hands, to stop her kissing her. The brunette stares longingly into her eyes "Give in Jen. feel it" the older woman closes her eyes "No, open them. You don't get to run away anymore. " Tilly continues,
Jen feels helpless, lost in Tilly's gaze, she lets go of her restraint and her body relaxes into the teens, their warm bare skins presses together. Her lover holds her face steady between her hands. Her breathing rasps, as a wave of sensation washes over her body, she gasps as all the hairs on her body stand on end. She swallows hard as her heart starts racing, in her collapsing chest; struggling with her labored breaths. Her mind goes blank, her body trembles upon the teen, she unexpectedly contracts into an orgasm; Tilly feels the teachers thick warm fluid upon her thigh.
"Now, you know why I fight for you." Tilly whispers. Jen catches her breath and silently tries to fathom at what point in their relationship had she become the pupil.
Regaining her composure, their breath mix into one another heavily. "I want you to turn over" she tells Tilly. She wants to consume Tilly completely but first she needs to hide her tears, she is so overwhelmed. She trails kisses down the teens back.
Tilly opens her eyes, she quickly shuts them, as a bright light penetrates her retinas; the curtains have been left partially open letting in the morning sun. She goes to close them, however, an arm grabs her around the waist ; she is pulled back onto the bed.
"Where do you think your going" Jen adds, giggling as she nuzzles the teens neck with her nose and lips. Tilly's turns in her embrace. "You were incredible last night." Jen adds stoking the teens face with the back of her hand.
"Me?" Tilly responds in astonishment "I was just trying to keep up with you, Jen" she continues and sighs. She blushes remembering the night they have just shared, she buries her head in embarrassment; Jen giggle and strokes for hair.
"It was a lot of firsts for me too " Jen reassures her. She understands the red-heads embarrassment. If she had experienced, at seventeen, the level of intense intimacy they had shared last night, she would have run a mile. The arguments that had dominated the night before and broken down many of the barriers that each of the women had placed between themselves. Jen had not held back the love for her younger lover, consuming her completely. Tilly had reciprocated, her growing doubts and insecurities temporarily bated, by Jen's confession of her true feelings.
Thinking back to the first time Tilly had touched her intimately, on the teens bed, Jen knew it was her first time; yet, not even then had it shown . The truth is, Tilly could have simple breathed on her and her body would have exploded into ecstasy; she is sure the teenager had no idea the sexual power she had over her.
"I have to go" Jen finally announces. "I do believe, as the clear loser of the word game. I have to go buy breakfast." She states rolling her eyes and rising from the bed to dress. Tilly copies and they both walk out of the bedroom hand in hand towards the kitchen.
"Good Morning" announces an enthusiastic Ky, who had already put the coffee pot on; she is always as early a riser as the teacher.
"Yes it is." replies Jen with a huge grin at her friend, she turns, kisses Tilly in a blatant display of public affection; before exiting the flat.
Tilly moves to the breakfast counter, pulling herself up onto the stool, the whole time a huge smile plastered on her face; much to Ky's amusement.
"I'm really sorry about last night. I really didn't plan to run out and miss your V.I.P party. I know it was immature." Tilly says sheepish to Ky.
"Did she say that?" the artist replies.
"No, she didn't have too, the face said all." Tilly responds giggling.
"Is she always like that" Ky continues, mocking her friend playfully.
"ha yeah." Tilly jests back. She loves Ky's character, it is polar opposite to Jen; well maybe not so much this weekend. The dark-haired artist has a way of bringing out the playful softer side of her lover. She like Jen around ky, the artist brought out the best in the brunette; the creative zestful Jen. The one she had met first, the strong and opinionated art critic; that had teased her for taking offense at her work. Their secret affair really had stripped Jen of her confident demeanor, Tilly felt slightly guilty she had caused this; especially after the teachers pillow talk last night.
"What was she like...before teaching? Tilly asks, excepting a coffee from Ky.
"Before teaching? or before you? " the artist quizzes back, with a rise of the eyebrow, and a smile. You really could not hide anything from Ky.
"I hear you've quit college. So what are you going to do?" Ky asks taking a bias stance on the topic. Tilly smiles and shrugs.
"It's a great feeling isn't it. Not having a fucking clue what you are gonna do next?" Tilly grins and nods enthusiastically. However, she doesn't agree, spontaneous is not something the teen likes; she mush prefers order. Had the affair changed her too.
"ha! Now I'm fucking jealous." Ky continues.
"You're such a talented artist." Tilly response, genuinely in awe of the work she had seen last night.
"and one day you'll be an amazing doctor Tilly." She leans forward and smiles at the teen. "you know if I had your smarts, I wouldn't have wasted my time running away. Jen wont let that happen either." she pauses tapping her nose "So whatever it is you've got planned.." Tilly looks up shocked but she knows there is no point denying it. "..it's not going to work." ky adds.
"I'm going to tell you something very important. It wont make any sense to you right now but remember what I tell you. o.k?" the artist says in a rare moment of seriousness.
"No matter what happens. Fight! you're the only one with the strength. I have something for you." she disappears into her bedroom and returns with a book.
"No Exit" Tilly reads the title not recognizing it.
"Put it in your bag now, something makes me believe you will find this interesting soon. This conversation never happened" Ky adds and watches Tilly walk to the bedroom to store the book. The born psychologist is always five steps ahead, she is not prepared to let Tilly battle this alone; and damned if she lets Babylon take this love from her friend.
Jen soon returns with a couple of bag of shopping and pastries from the local bakery, she empties the content on the table; as ky fetches plates and cutlery.
"I thought the loser was supposed to cook breakfast." Tilly jokes noticing the pastries.
"Trust me this is safer." Ky joins in teasing Jen.
"Hey, I'm a great cook." the brunette adds. Ky shakes her head at the teen behind Jen's back. Tilly laughs, causing the teacher to turn and slap her friend on the arm jokingly. They all sit and tuck into the breakfast laid out in front of them, ky puts a pot of coffee on the table for re-fills.
"You know if you say both your names together it sounds like a word " Ky announces, to the love sick pair "JenTilly they kissed each other in the middle of my art studio." she states in a jovial voice. Jen raises her eyebrows, jokingly unimpressed at her friends teasing.
"A poet and an artist." Tilly encourages, playfully.
"What can I say I'm just an endless fucking pit of talent." Ky answers mocking herself, more than aware of her limitations. Jen rips off a piece of her croissant and tosses it at Ky's head.
"oh no you didn't just start a food war" before Jen can move jam hits her face, flung from a teaspoon by the dark-haired artist. "Ha what a fucking shot" ky adds.
Tilly laughs loudly her nose crinkling up, at the sight of the teachers jam covered face. She points to her own cheek "you've...um...got something on your face Jen." she adds with a sarcastic smile.
"oh really" Jen adds, signally Ky secretly with a head nod. "Think that's funny do you!" she adds with a mock serious expression on her face.
"yep!" Tilly answers with a further giggle. The teen, distracted by the banter, had not noticed Ky creeping up behind her. The artist grabs Tilly elbows and hold her in position. "Nooooo!" Tilly screams in shock
"Thank you Miss Roberts" Jen adds standing with a pot of chocolate spread in her hand. She dips her forefinger into the jar and spreads it smoothly down the middle of Tilly's face; as the teen squeals and wriggles in protest. Jen returns her finger to the pot but this time sucks the chocolate from her own finger "Your right! that is funny." she adds.
"Truce!" Tilly yells. Ky releases her from her grip; Tilly shoots them both a playful pout.
"I don't want you two to leave." ky announces sitting back down.
Tilly shakes her head and sticks out her lower lip in a sad face.
"unfortunately, I have to get Tilly home today." Jen answers.
"Not straight away tho." Tilly pleads
"No but I have a surprise visit planned for today. so we have to leave soon." Tilly smiles excitedly. "First tho I have an overwhelming urge to do something." Jen stands and seductively licks the chocolate from Tilly's nose. "mmm that's better."
"Get a room you two" mocks Ky. genuinely pleased at the sight of the adorable pair.
"How about instead of a room...we get a shower. before we head off?" Jen asks the teen licking more chocolate from her face. Tilly nods as Jen takes her hand and drags her giggling to the bathroom. Tilly turns and silently mouths 'thank you' to Ky, before following her lover through.