10/2012: Hey, dear Bleach fans. How are you all? I'm sure everyone has heard of Hurricane Sandy battering the East Coast. I live in the path that Sandy took. My house didn't suffer any damage, nor did my neighborhood. I lost power for almost 24 hours but I've got it back. Some of my family and closest friends are suffering a bit, with no power and a bit of flooding. But everyone is alright, so we can deal with the damage. New Jersey got hit the hardest, especially Seaside Heights and Atlantic City. Many parts of Long Island are facing devastation, and New York City is virtually shut down. 39 people here in the north eastern US were killed, and 69 in the Caribbean. This was more than a hurricane: it was a freak of nature.

But enough talking about the bad that came out of this. I want to focus on the good things. All of that damage can be fixed. It'll take time, just as the healing will. The reconstruction won't be as simple as alchemy, of course, but we'll all get through this. We all have the future to look forward to. I've still got a newborn sister to take care of once she's born. So if you know anyone who was hit by the storm, send your support in any way you can. If you are one of the victims of the storm, know that you have support. We'll get through this storm together.

There isn't much I can do to help anyone out, but I can at least try to lift your spirits up with a little comedy. Hopefully a little laughter could distract your mind from the devastation, even if it's only for a few minutes. Enjoy.

11/2012: Hey, all. My sister was born safe and sound. She got chunky cheeks and a little mohawk, She's adorable~

"...Jo, you are SO full of shit," Ichigo said to me. Yeah, I figured something like that would be said. But that was only because he didn't understand the meaning behind the cashews. He never would, no matter how hard he tried to. It was a fan girl thing. Fan girls, if you watched any of Casshern Sins, you'll hopefully get it.

"Okay, yes. I am. Now can you just hurry over here? Seriously, this place is creepy."

Ichigo sighed. "Alright, we're coming right now. Just don't leave." And with that, the magical video portal thingy vanished. All at once. It didn't even lose connection like those fake documentary-type horror movies you see. So I was left alone again, with nobody to talk to. At least I still had my bag of stuff.

By the way, what was in there, anyway? I never really took a minute to see the full contents of my bookbag. It was just sort of, you know, there on my back. The one time I actually looked in it was when I lost my flower hairpin. Ugh, the memory of that still freaked me out. Note to self: sodder hairpins to scalp when traveling through uncaptioned portals. My bag was just sitting there next to me, begging to be opened and explored. God, that sounded wrong. I unzipped it and dug my hand in there. I counted three sketchbooks: my Bleach one, my magical one, and another one. I took it out and flipped to the first page, and saw my other original characters. Oh, right, this was THAT sketchbook. Looking at my bag, I knew I wouldn't be able to find everything this way. So I turned it upside down and emptied out the entire contents. I couldn't believe how much stuff came out. "Wow... How did my back not break from carrying all this?" In all I had the following: three sketchbooks, two notebooks, my headphones, my iPod, my charger, my cellphone, a pencil case, some jewelry, a bottle of iced tea, a few bags of cookies – how the hell did I not smell those? – a sweater, a small mirror, some lip balm, and a few muscle wraps. How did all of this stuff fit in there?

While I started to organize my things, my bag started jumping around. "What the hell?" It was like one of those packages of Mexican jumping beans little kids would see in 99 cent stores and be fascinated by. But I was far from fascinated. I was creeped out. I'm sure anyone would be creeped out to find their empty bag just jumping to life across a lunch room table. Speaking of the bag, it started warping a bit. Was something else in there. It warped some more, until I saw Kon's head pop out. He did this overly dramatic gasping for air thing, like when someone's drowning and they finally get their head above water.

"I CAN BREATHE!" he yelled to the ceiling. His voice echoed throughout the room. He gasped for a few seconds more before looking at me. Then he fell silent. But that didn't last. When does silence ever last when it comes to Kon? "OH MY BANKAI YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!" Oh my what? "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? YOU SQUEEZED THE STUFFING OUT OF ME!" So he was going down THAT road. He leapt out from my bag, sailing ever so slowly towards me, reaching his arms out. "YOU OWE ME FOR THIS-"

Of course, I stopped him. And it only took one hand. "Why are you so loud?" I yelled back. "I can hear you just fine. No need to make my ears bleed." He hit the table top with a squeak. "Anyway, I should be mad at you! What were you doing inside my bag? How'd you even get in there?"

As he stood, I could see the tremendous guilt arise on his face. "Oh.. Yeah, funny story about that. You see, I was trying to, uh..." I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You don't have an explanation, do you?"

He shook his head. "Nope, 'fraid not. Just ended up in there some how." I sighed and facepalmed. If this were the Avatar world, gypsies would be mistaking me for Aang by now. "But forget that. I overheard what was happening. And I just want to let you know that I'm here to help." He struck a pose, sticking his arm out to try and look all heroic. I couldn't help it, and began laughing. "What? You got a problem with your savior?"

I pointed at him. "YOU'RE my savior? Please." I poked him in the stomach. "You're about as heroic as the Pillsbury dough boy." I didn't realize it until it happened, but when I poked Kon in the stomach, I accidentally popped the pill out of his little lion body. The doll fell limp and the pill fell on the floor, rolling away. "Hey! Come back here!" I sprang up and chased after the pill, which somehow, started rolling faster. It rolled right under the door into the kitchen section. "Dammit." Now I had to break in to save Kon. I peeked through the window. Didn't see it. I knelt down and looked under the door. It wasn't that far away. In fact, I could probably grab it. There was enough room for me to stick my arm underneath. I snaked my arm under the door, moving slowly so I wouldn't get caught against it. Yup, I fit perfectly. But the pill was still out of reach. "Come on..." I begged, and pushed further inside. My fingertip touched the little green object, but I still couldn't get a full grip on it. Licking my lips, I twisted my hand around and grabbed the pill. "Got it!"

I suddenly felt immense pain and pressure on my wrist. I tried to pull my arm back with no luck. As I pulled, the pressure pushed down more. It felt like the bottom of a shoe. Someone was stepping on my wrist. Looking up I could see the silhouette of a figure. Unfortunately no details, but at least I knew someone was on the other side. But who? Oh, I really hoped it wasn't one of Aizen's lackeys.

The door to the kitchen flew off. It hit the opposite wall, ALL the way on the other side of the lunch room. Now I could see who was holding me down. If that creepy smile didn't give it away, then the crazy hat he wore definitely did. It was Di Roy. Oh man, the way he looked at me was so creepy! "So Lord Grimmjow was right," he said as he eyed me like a steak dinner. "He didn't say it'd be this easy to catch you, though. I wonder why he left that part out." Great. If I were to be up against any lower level arrancar – even if I didn't want it – of course Di Roy would be the one. I guess that proved how much he sucked.

"Hey, buddy," I complained, "Could you get off of my arm? That's my drawing hand." All he really did was laugh.

"Oh, is that right?" He looked down at my hand. "Lord Aizen told us all about you, Jo Weizu." He called me by my full name. That could only mean bad shit was going to happen. "You're a human from another world who knows everything about ours. You have this strange yet unique ability to make whatever you want become reality. That's a pretty amazing power. And you know what? He's given you the honor to serve under him and help bring down the Soul King."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Bitch, please. Do you REALLY think I'm gonna serve under Bitch Curl? No. I cosplayed as him for a convention, so I know what kind of prick he is. You should already know I want nothing to do with him."

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice. It's not a decision for you to make." He leaned down and looked at me, hands in his pockets, still smirking. But now he had those small psycho eyes. I mean, he had them before, but now they were worse. "Either you come quietly, or I make you. Got it?"

My mind was racing. There wasn't much I could do in this situation. He had me trapped. My sketchbook was too far for me to even attempt drawing with my right hand. Kon was out of commission because I popped his pill out... Actually, even if the Soul Candy was still in his body, he was useless. What could he do? Throw punches made of fluff at Di Roy to get him off of me? "Go fuck yourself, Di Roy. Looking at your face makes me wanna puke." I stuck my tongue out at him.

Yup, I was dead. "I can arrange that." His foot twisted so his heel was on top of the back of my hand, and he pushed all of his weight on me. The pain was unbearable, something I'd never felt before. It was horrible. I screamed louder than I ever had. Something definitely snapped. Multiple things, probably. I became numb from my shoulder to my forearm, and from there down it burned. He stepped off of me and just stood there, watching. I looked at my hand. Blood was quickly pooling around it. I couldn't move any of my fingers or my wrist. The majority of my fingers had been spared, but everything from where they connected to my hand, to the end of my wrist, was done. I could've sworn I even saw a bone or two poking out. The fucker broke my hand.

I pushed myself to a sitting position with my good arm, and stood up. All Di Roy could do was laugh. Well look at the great Jo Weizu now! You're pathetic." I noticed him raising a leg. Was he really about to Sparta kick me? I was right, and his foot flew forward. Luckily I managed to block his kick with my good arm. I skid back a few feet. "Oh, please. You're really going to fight back?" He huffed, annoyed. "Fine. Don't matter to me if you become another corpse." He pushed again, this time thrusting his leg out. I flew backwards, unable to stop myself, rolling on the floor a few times. Yup, that was my stomach. Definitely my stomach. "I don't see what the big deal is. Maybe Aizen was caught in a moment of hype." While gathering myself together, I coughed up some blood. Guess he did arrange to have me puke. Not the way I imagined it, but I never wanted to in the first place. I saw him walking toward the table where all my stuff was. "According to what I was told, you create a new reality using one of these books." He moved his head, inspecting my things. "Well I'm too lazy to look through everything, so I'll just destroy it all!" He opened his mouth. Light blue energy started gathering around his lips. It grew bigger, into a ball. Not a Cero. Not now, when I couldn't shove it back down his throat so he could explode and I could dance in his blood. What a scumbag. And I coudn't even get up to stop him. Even if I could, how would I stop him?

Instinctively, I reached to my back for my sword. But it wasn't there. Then I remembered how I'd left it behind at Kisuke's place. "Dammit!" How could I be so stupid?

The wall behind me broke. A large hole formed. "Hihio Zabimaru!" A large, boney snake head flew into the room, followed by equally large segments connected by red energy. The snake head tackled Di Roy into the farthest wall. Before he could react a large blast came from the snake's mouth. Di Roy was enveloped by it. I could barely hear his scream because the blast was so loud. Soon it was gone, and so was he. The wall, too. Renji really overdid it.

Speaking of him, Renji hopped in through the hole his bankai made. Ichigo, Orihime, Yumichika and Toshiro followed right behind him. Yumichika shook his head as he looked around. "What a mess," he commented as he wandered to the wall where Di Roy had been killed. I don't know what he'd find there, if anything. From what I saw, his body was probably a pile of dust or something.

Orihime knelt next to me. "Jo!" she cried out in that somewhat adorable voice of hers. What's the other part of the somewhat, you ask? Annoying. She's sweet and all, but I hate how damsel-like she is. "Are you okay?" Seriously? Did she HAVE to ask?

Renji came to me next and helped me sit up. His arm went around my back and his hand went on my stomach. Bad idea. "Ow ow ow ow ow EASY!" I yelled at him, and I think I accidentally elbowed him in the gut. He made some kind of noise that sounded gross. Yeah, I elbowed him. Hopefully not in the nuts. He sat next to me and sighed. "That's quite a beating you took there. It's a miracle you're still alive."

"Yeah, I know," I replied condescendingly. "That's not even the worst of it." I gestured my chin down toward my left hand. Renji looked at it.

"Holy shit!" he yelled, almost falling back. "That's REALLY bad." Orihime couldn't even look at it. It must've been too gruesome for her to look at. I could understand that, but I was still in extreme pain and bleeding out from the broken mess that was my hand. "How'd he do that?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Really?" I rolled my eyes. "He stepped on my arm, Renji. What other way could this have been done?"

"Well he could've held you by your wrist and squeezed it until it broke."

Carrot Top punched Renji in the back of the head. "Not helping, ass." He placed a hand on Orihime's shoulder and she turned toward him. "Listen, I know her injury looks bad, but you're the only one that can heal her right now. So you'll have to suck it up for a bit, okay?"

She nodded. "Alright." Orihime gulped and looked at my hand. To my surprise, her eyes never left the mangled mess. She was able to stomach more than I thought. Thinking back to the manga, she was able to stomach seeing Ichigo with a gaping hole through his chest as his innards and blood lay visible to her... Okay, maybe it wasn't THAT graphic, but that's how I saw it. She held her hands over my arm and a yellow glow appeared. Her Soten Kisshun covered the bottom half of my arm. It was warm, not burning like Tessai's kido. I still think he did that on purpose somehow. And then more pain hit. I watched the entire healing process. All the bones that were sticking out from my skin shifted back inside, broken bones seared themselves together again, and the wounds sewed themselves closed. It was like Casshern healing after beind injured, with just as much pain and none of the insanity. It hurt like a bitch. My free hand scrambled around, looking for something to grab and squeeze. Renji offered me his. So who was I to turn down this opportunity? I grabbed that bastard and squeezed the shit out of his hand. Of course, I didn't have the strength to break it, but I did see him clenching his teeth and tapping his other hand on the floor.

"Easy!" he barked at me. "That hurts!"

Fruit Pop looked over to the table where all my stuff was. Toshiro was standing there. Toshiro was touching everything. "Hey!" I yelled. "Quit touching my stuff! I don't know where your hands have been! You're gonna dirty everything!" Toshiro turned to me, only to do the most dickbag thing I've ever seen him do. The little bastard actually stuck his tongue out at me! I growled. "Ichigo, PLEASE get Turdshiro away from my things!" I heard Yumichika laughing in the corner. Looking around, I noticed something strange. "Hey, where's Uryu?"

"He went to join the others," he replied as he made his way to the table. "Hey, Hitsugaya, Jo doesn't want you touching her-" His voice ceased. "The hell?" From where I sat, I was somehow able to make out the expression on his face. A WTF face. Ichigo WTF face counter: 18. "Jo, what's Kon doing here?" He pressed a finger down on the table, probably to poke Kon. "And why is he so quiet?"

"Little bastard snuck into my bag." The pain was finally beginning to subside a bit. "I poked him in the stomach and accidentally popped his pill out." I let go of Renji's arm, much to his relief, and pulled out the little green sphere from my pocket. "Here." I threw it across the room to him and he caught it. He pushed it back into Kon's body, and the doll came back to life.

He immediately stood up. "Whoa! What's going on? What happened?" Everyone sighed.