Chapter 19
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, Morgana, Gaius or any other respective characters from the show Merlin. I justt have control of the plot and Aroded and his father of course. :)
"What did Gaius mean?" Gwen asked. Her voice the only sound in the very quiet and unmoving room. Since Gaius had left earlier, the room had grown colder and with the luck Morgana has been having the last few days it didn't come as a surprise when Gwen spoke. "By you losing your memory... and you waking up after the-" She stopped, guessing the word, but not certain it was.
"Nothing." Morgana sighed. Walking to the door and wanting to get out, but as she reached the door she gave a sharp turn back and began pacing. "Gaius was justt saying..."
"Saying what?" Gwen asked, her voice rising, it had a coldness that Morgana had never heard, but Gwen was not someone to be pushed around, specially when it came to her friends. "Tell me what happened Morgana."
"Just like Gaius said." Morgana began, her conscience wanting her to stop before she began a lie, but she could not stop herself. "I don't remember anything."
"You and he were justt talking about it!" Gwen rose to her feet, her cheeks tinting a good red. "By the Gods Morgana." Gwen exclaimed. "Either you tell me or Gaius will tell me." Her voice was showing the anger she felt inside, but nothing made it more clearer than the way her eyes showed how betrayed she felt.
"I-" Morgana did not want to keep any secrets from Gwen, but she felt it necessary to do so now. Why? She did not know.
"Morgana, I'm begging you." Gwen said, her hands clasped together as if she were to say a prayer. "Please."
Morgana took one good look at her dear friend and she sat on her bed, her heart beating, but sure of what she was to do. She patted the seat beside her and Gwen quickly sat there.
"I'm only telling you what I can remember." Morgana said. Gwen nodded and Morgana breathed in, not helping any, but at this moment she thought nothing would. "I..." She looked into the sweet and trusting face of Gwen and she began doing something that she never done in front of anyone (with the exception of Merlin, for that was an accident). Morgana began crying, her lips quivering with the strong force of her emotions coming out and assaulting her of her peace. "I was. . .the truth is. . ." She began sobbing, her voice was full of emotion and she could not produce one word. The more she looked into the face of her friend the more her impulsive actions came upon her. There were a lot of wrongs she had done. None of them were to Gwen's attention, but that was because she did not know of them. If she did, Morgana was sure that her loyal friend would never forgive her actions. "I am so sorry." Morgana sobbed, her words barely understood by Gwen. "I'm so sorry." She wrapped her hands around Gwen and sobbed into her shoulder.
Both girls hugged, one crying for her past was catching up to her, only the past she could remember, and the other was confused, but nonetheless, hugging her crying friend tighter than she had ever hold her. Not once in the darkness of that very room had Gwen hugged Morgana as she hugged her now. Her worst nightmares had never caused Gwen to let Morgana have her shoulder as support, she was sure that Morgana was alright and that her presence was only needed, so she did not do much. But now she knew she had to do more than she had done in her life, she whispered soothing words, and Morgana whispered something back. Something alone the lines of, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
That was the sight Gaius had entered the room to. He met Gwen's eyes, for Morgana's were deep in her shoulder and he nodded. With some effort to keep quiet he settled himself in the table and waited for this to be over. Whatever had been happening while he was gone, it had not gone to far for Gwen still looked at him with those same trusting eyes. Gaius was sure Morgana would never tell Gwen that he or Merlin were bad people, but her current state could not promise much.
Morgana pulled away, eyes red and puffy, and did the most surprising thing. She ran to Gaius and knee led before him, hugging his waist and crying into his safe and warm hug. Just like Morgana had done to Gwen she repeatedly told him that she was, "Sorry, I'm so sorry." Gaius was stunned for a moment, but then he looked at her with calm and gentle eyes and stroke her hair kindly.
"It's alright, child." Gaius told her. The moment that Morgana had told him that Morgause was giving her a strange yellow remedy, he had forgiven her. He put his trust on her once more; a bit late, but he was ready to right his wrongs. "Please stop crying."
Morgana pulled away and sniffled while wiping her tears away. She felt better after letting out her emotions, but she was a bit nervous with the fact that both Gwen and Gaius had seen her. They had before, but she had been desperate and afraid, barely woken from her nightmares, now she was sane and completely fine. She had voluntarily been crying.
"Now, Morgana." Gaius began. "Let us talk about Morgause."
Morgana gulped, but nodded. Gwen sat on a chair next to them.
"Yes, Gaius." whispered Morgana, in case he had not seen her nod. She looked up at him like a child looks at his only parent and waited.
Merlin rushed out to the practice grounds were Arthur was to be. He went down the stairs, winding and very slippery for it had been a bit of an odd day. Some rain had come in the early morning, but it soon ended. With the slippery of the stairs and the already smoothness of them, Merlin had to hold himself steady more than he usually had to. When he came upon the last step, the small grey wall, with statues on it, was the only thing separating him from Arthur and his knights. Who he clearly heard. Two walls were on each side of the stairs. Each side was wide enough for three men to pass side by side, but beneath the stairs, going to the back of the stairs that you could not see unless you were right under them, were three doors. Two on each side, quite visible from the stairs, but with some difficulty. They were passages to get to the kitchens or to the dungeons, depending on which door you chose. The middle door however, was locked at all times, it was never opened except by order of the King or Arthur himself. It had stairs that seemed to go endless, but once they stopped and whoever entered reached the last step they would be in complete darkness. Those passages were for the water conducts of Camelot. It was also the escape route for when enemies attacked. A very risky place, but Uther proposed that as long as it was obvious it would lead the enemy to think it wasn't the right place to look and they'd go on a wild goose chase while the King and his Court ("If ever we are pushed to running away like cowards." Uther muttered) would quickly flee to safety.
Merlin looked at it, before walking between the walls to the light where he heard swords clanging and men grunting. The sun was strong today, it would lower in a few hours no doubt, but it was justt the hottest part of the day and when Merlin walked from out of the safe hiding place between the walls, and the stairs and the doors, he felt a bit bad for Arthur who seemed to be sparring harder than before with Sir Leon, who was proving himself to be a true knight of Camelot. Arthur was sweating alot, his hair was sticking to his face and when both Sir Leon and Arthur backed away from each other, never leaving each other's eyes, and searching for the other's weakness, Merlin could see how hard they were panting. Both men strike again, their sword clanging loudly, and the battle resumed, two strong brave men trying to prove their worth and never letting their pride get to them. Merlin was not much of a fighter, but there was always something raw and awe-inspiring in the practices the knights had with Arthur. A prat he may be, but a brave and courageous one, he had to admit.
With a quick move, Arthur had the upper hand, pushing Sir Leon to the back, and with a final thrust of his sword, winning the spar.
Both men look at each other panting.
"Getting better, Leon." Arthur said, breathing hard and some effort was put into talking.
"For Camelot, Sire." answered the knight. "It is my greatest duty to fight along your lordship."
Arthur shook his head. "No need to be so formal." Putting his sword back in it's sheath, that hanged by his belt.
"You are my King and I, your Knight." Sir Leon stated. "There is much need to be formal."
"Then as your King I must put light to your abilities." Arthur gave him a firm nod.
"Thank you, the honor to have such appreciation is most welcomed." Sir Leon bowed in respect.
"You earn that achievement with hard work and determination, your welcome is only to yourself."
"Your majesty." Sir Leon bowed once more.
"Practice is over!" Arthur said, and the sighs of relief from his men were also his, but he could not do that, for he was the prince and he had to make sure that he had the energy for anything. If it was for him to make practice three hours longer, he would have to have the energy and show no weakness. Arthur looked at the approaching figure which happened to be Merlin and at first he was justt going to ask for water, but remembering that Merlin had not been there to help him with his armor and getting dressed for practice, he decided that at least this once it was alright to be angry.
"Where have you been, Merlin?" So much emphasis was on his name that it wasn't a question, but a second meaning. Sort of like, "I know you're to busy to help me, but you are my manservant, I need your help." Arthur Pendragon didn't really need help, but getting it from Merlin, it was a pleasure. Not only was it funny to see Merlin try and make something of the clothes and the sword, but Arthur had to admit it was good practice for him.
"I was just-" began Merlin, stammering and rambling, for he had no excuse.
"You were justt busy?" Arthur asked. Merlin shook his head.
"You had other important business to attend to?" Another question was asked, and Merlin was ready to scream out. "Yes!", but only shook his head. "Mm, that leaves you in a very fascinating position, Merlin." He took hold of his helmet that was in the floor, Sir Leon had knocked it off or had it rolled off his head when he fell to the ground? No matter, Arthur pushed it into Merlin's awaiting chest and ordered. "I want you to wash my clothes, sharpen my sword, clean my cloak and helmet, ready a bath for me, Merlin." He began walking towards the stairs, but stopped and turned to Merlin. "Oh, and do help me change into nicer clothes.
Merlin walked behind him, thinking this was very unfair, but it was his job as Arthur's manservant. Arthur, meanwhile, had already reached the stairs, and deciding it was a bit to much, even if it was Merlin, he would justt ask that he readies the bath, set out clean clothes and order Merlin to go see what was for dinner. He would then tell Merlin that he should go help Gaius or something. Arthur could think of something later, right now he really needed the bath.
The room was a bit dark, but that was because the curtains were falling down, a beautiful cream color that when the wind came and made them fly they looked almost like cascades. If it wasn't for the small bit of air coming from the outside, the three people inside would have felt a deep heat, specially when they felt nervous enough already. The heat wouldn't have helped.
"What did she tell you about this remedy?" A deep, wise voice was heard. Morgana looked up at Gaius meeting his eyes and she thought for a moment.
"She only told me that it would help me get better." Morgana softly said.
Gaius looked at her with caring eyes. "Did you ever find it strange that you had to keep drinking the remedy when it appeared like you had no headache at all." Morgana nodded, she looked down once again and a feeling of forbidding began in her stomach. "Whenever you began to say no to Morgause about taking your remedy, did the headaches start unexpectedly?"
Morgana looked up at Gaius, remembering.
Morgana had justt had some supper. She was feeling better than she had ever felt before, she had a small book in hand, Morgause had some books and she let Morgana borrow them. At first the old smell of books was hard for Morgana to resist, but soon it disappeared, she continued reading with no trace of the smell, she had gotten used to it, she supposed. She was sitting in her bed, a pillow between her and the wall, she moved a bit, trying to find a good position. Once she was satisfied she read on.
A knock came to her door and Morgana looked up with a smile when she saw Morgause.
"Hello, Morgana." Morgause smiled. "How are you feeling today?"
"Better, actually." Morgana answered with a big smile, thinking that in a minute or two Morgause would be saying that it was great news.
"That's perfect, Morgana." Morgause said a hard look appeared in her eyes, but Morgana did not see it for Morgause had turned around to get the usual cup she gave to Morgana to drink from. With a slight uttering of words, her eyes glowed gold and behind her she heard Morgana begin groaning. She turned around, quickly looking worried. "Morgana? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." Morgana struggled to talk with the increasing pain. "Just a small pain, nothing else."
Morgause looked at her getting angry. "Just a pain? And your clutching your head like that? Really, Morgana you must admit that you have a headache. See if those tears mean something else other than pain I don't know what. I'll bring you the remedy."
Morgana held her breathing normal, her head was really making her want to cry out loud. Tears were brimming in her eyes, and as soon as Morgause came with the remedy, Morgana took it, drinking the bitter tasting brew in one swallow. When she looked at Morgause, the pain fading she could of sworn that she saw a gold pass through Morgause's eyes. It was probably justt my imagination, thought Morgana.
"I worry for you, Morgana." Morgause tut at Morgana and Morgana felt bad, though angry as well. "You can't keep telling me your alright when your head hurt." She said, sitting down on the bed and putting a hand on her sister's leg.
"I was alright." Morgana exclaimed. "I was telling you the truth. I was alright, and then the pain came from out of nowhere. It just- Don't give me that look." Morgana looked at Morgause, helpless. "I'm telling the truth." She whispered.
"I know you were." Morgause said, a twinkle in her eyes. "but as soon the pain begins you have to tell me."
Morgana nodded. "I'll tell you."
"Alright." Morgause stood up, getting the cup from Morgana's pain. "I'll leave you to read, but remember you have to get some sleep as well. " A simple nod was the answer Morgause got, but it was better than nothing.
"I... yes." Morgana nodded, remembering with great clarity other times she had said no to her sister.
"Tell me exactly what happened." Gaius told her quietly.
"I was in the room, reading or otherwise justt looking out the window." She paused. "It had a beautiful view and it made me peaceful. Morgause always came at the exact time, I could tell, for some reason. She would give me a greeting, tell me to drink the remedy, I would say no and the pain would start."
"Was there a time when you saw something unusual?" Gaius and Gwen fixed their eyes on Morgana, who was also expecting the answer. Liking Morgause less and less by the second.
Morgana bit her bottom lip.
. . . It was probably justt my imagination. . .
"T-there was a small instance where I saw, or thought I saw, some gold in her eyes."
The room filled with silence after her response.
"Before or after?" Gaius finally asked.
"I, um, after." Morgana answers. "Right after I drink the remedy."
Gaius looked at the girl in front of him and wondered why Morgana could not see that Morgause had been giving her a potion. Gaius, Gaius, remember that she's not remembering of most things. Gaius thought to himself, scolding at the fact that he let himself think so gullibility.
"When did you start to forget things?" Gaius asked, blurting out the question.
Morgana met his eyes and understanding flickered on them. "I don't remember much, but for when I forgot I'm not sure." Morgana hugged her legs to her chest, feeling more alone and confused than before. Her mind was fogged with memories that she could not bring out, she felt like she was drowning and no way to get to sea level.
"Morgana." Gaius voice was soft and she instantly looked up. "I have ideas of what could be happening to you."
"What, Gaius?" Morgana looked at him desperate for answers, she was tired of not remembering. She felt so empty and shallow everyday she woke up, with absolutely no reminiscing of the past.
"I can't tell you now, child." He smiled sadly down at her. "I want to be right, I don't want to bring your hopes up only to take them away." He added. He looked down at the necklace in his pocket and brought it out. Morgana and Gwen looked at the necklace.
"What's that? It's beautiful." Morgana said. Gaius handed it to her and she looked at it with great appreciation, she made to give it back, but Gaius shook his head.
"Wear it." Gaius said simply. "I'm giving it to you."
Morgana shook her head. "I couldn't." She looked at it again. "It's too beautiful." She murmured. "Its yours, Gaius, I can't take it."
"I'm giving it to you." Gaius firmly told her, not taking the offered necklace.
"I can't accept this."
"Why not?" Gaius looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"I... Just... Gaius it's to valuable for you to justt give it to me and I can't accept it." She gave it back, when he did not receive it, she put it on the table. "I'm not going to accept it."
"Its for your protection." Gaius said.
"What?" Morgana gasped with Gwen next to her.
"It's a magical necklace, Morgana. Whoever wears it will be protected by it's power."
"That's even more a reason." Morgana proclaimed. "I'm sure you or Gwen needed it more than I do."
"At the moment, you need it more than Gaius and me." Gwen finally spoke. She looked at the necklace, picked it up, and slowly (with some small fighting from Morgana) she put it on her friend.
Morgana touched the necklace, looking between Gwen and Gaius. "I can't wear this."
"Yes, you can and you have to." Gwen's tone became a bit patronizing, but only for now, she needed Morgana to be safe, even though she had some difficulty seeing the problems.
"Never take it off." He stood by Morgana and put the necklace well hidden under her dress. "Don't let anyone see this."
Morgana felt the necklace, when she looked down she got the satisfaction of not seeing it there. She supposed she could wear it. It would hurt no one, but this was Gaius' and so it meant she had to take good care of it.
"Alright." Morgana nodded to him, looking a bit weary.
"Good." Gaius smiled at her. "Ready yourself, dinner will be ready in a few minutes." He nodded. "I hope you'll be there."
Morgana responded that with a smile. "I'll be there." Gwen wrapped her hand around Morgana's shoulder and smiled at Gaius.
"Make sure she's there, Gwen." Gaius told her.
Gwen smiled. "Yes, Gaius, I will." Gaius left the room and deciding to let things go for today, Gwen asked the only sensible thing today. "What dress would you like to wear and how about your hair?"
Morgana looked at her. "I'm not sure." She walked to her wardrobe. "I'm sure we can find something." She focused on finding a good gown and a great way to have her hair. Anything to distract her from the small cool feeling she felt in her chest.
A/N: Hope you liked it.
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