Chapter 25
The Hidden Page
Truth In True Love's Eyes
Still in Phoebe's Mind
Phoebe could see Cole coming closer. She nearly collapsed from the ache in her heart. It wasn't fair. How was she supposed to ward him off when just looking at that magnificent face of his made her so weak? She closed her eyes and gasped for breath.
"Get out of here Cole," she screamed. "Just leave me be."
"I can't do that my love and you know it. If I could just turn my back on you and walk away from what we mean to each other, one or both of us would have been dead along time ago. I would have remained Belthazor forever and I'd either have killed you and you're sisters or have been vanquished myself. Instead I turned my back on the only world I ever really knew, on my training, and my allies. I gave up my powers and defenses all so that we could be together. Why would I just out of the blue decide to gamble with the treasure I risked everything including my very life to obtain? Do I seem that stupid to you? And forget about me for a moment and ask yourself another question. Does the Source seem that stupid to you?"
"I've betrayed him and the side of evil over and over again. He's said time and time again that my human side makes me weak. He also knew you and your sisters would be coming for him. So don't you think he would have prepared a much better contingency plan for preserving his legacy and securing the future of the underworld than passing it on to me. Especially since he knows how vulnerable I am to you because of our love. I've offered to let you vanquish me before, The Source, would have no guarantees I wouldn't do that again."
"Stop it, Cole. You're just trying to trick me."
"Am I? And just what would I have to gain by that Phoebe?"
"You want me back to warm your bed at night, you want me to become evil," she shouted.
Just then Phoebe and Cole became aware of Anton calling to her. "No you are confusing me with him. Think back Phoebe. When you first found out I was a half demon did I ever even once ask you to join me on the other side?"
Phoebe literally shook with confusion. "No not at first," she conceded.
"No not ever," he responded back. If that was what I wanted I could have had it already. Do you remember when Prue was kidnapped by the Warlock and forced to marry him and the three of you started to turn evil? You asked me then if I wanted you to be evil and I told you no because there is no such thing as evil love only lust. I said that I wanted your love and that the only way I could have it was for us both to be good."
"If that isn't enough proof for you think back to the day Shaxs attacked Piper and Prue. You had come down to the underworld to save me with one of your potions. The Source knew you were there. He tried to blackmail you into staying by offering to spare Piper's life in return. You'd agreed in order to save her."
"Sure we suspected that the Source was setting us up, but if I wanted to stay in the underworld with you I probably could have talked our way out it somehow. I'd gotten myself out of tighter spots before. Sure staying there would have had its risks but no more so than what we ended up doing. I helped you escape because I knew even if the Source was on the level; you'd never survive the guilt of being evil. You would have stopped being you, you'd have ceased to be the woman I fell in love with and I'd have lost you and our love anyway. I was willing to die in order to prevent that and I still am."
Anton's voice was becoming more and more impatient. Phoebe felt him shake her exterior physical body. She didn't know what to do anymore and cried out her uncertainty.
"Phoebe, ignore him," Cole pleaded. He's the one who wants you to surrender your identity, your goodness, your family, your powers, and your independence not me. So why am I the one your fighting against and not Anton? Or maybe I am the village idiot. Maybe I'm the one whose been lied too. Is it he you love and not I?"
"No, I've never loved him," Phoebe screamed. I could never love anyone the way I love you. You're my soul mate and I know that no matter how I wish I could deny it. Does that make you feel better? "
"Then why Phoebe? Why would you even consider agreeing to his offer? I don't understand," Cole, said, his voice quaking.
"Because maybe for a short while, I won't be alone, and when the time comes for him to turn on me, at least I won't have to feel the agony of loss. I won't have to feel anything especially the utter torture of betrayal and abandonment like I do now."
"I think I'm beginning to get the picture," Cole replied.
"Good then can you explain it to me?" Phoebe asked only half sarcastically. "Because I don't think I know what's real and what isn't it anymore."
"Gladly! This isn't about the hallucinations or even about Anton or I. This is about your battle scars like always. Look I'm more sorry than you'll ever know about your parent's divorce, and your mother dying, and your father leaving you and your sisters, and all of Gram's failed marriages and Gram's and Prue's deaths. You can't keep punishing yourself, your family, or me for what happened in the past though."
"Take a look around you. Your Dad, Piper, Leo, and even Prue are all here for you right here and now. I'm willing to bet your mother and Grams aren't far away either. They didn't ever really abandon you. And I'm not in some netherworld plotting evil, I'm right here beside you, and I don't intend on leaving you ever, not if I have anything to say about the matter. Trust me my love," Cole pleaded. "
"I'm not sure I know how to trust anymore," Phoebe said wiping ineffectively at her tears.
"Yes you do!" Cole assured her. He moved closer and rewarded her with a tender smile when she didn't move away. "Use your gift of sight. You have the power to see more than random future events you know. You have the ability to see past all the facades we other beings use to hide behind."
"And how do you know this about my power when I don't?" Phoebe asked.
"Oh that's simple. How else would you have seen past the exterior of one of the most evil vicious monsters in history to discover the lost soul of the man beneath? You brought me back into the light, Phoebe now it's my turn to do the same for you. Look into my eyes and you'll see the truth."
He stood completely still allowing her to take the lead. She might be making a mistake but Phoebe found she couldn't help herself. She stepped closer and cast her gaze upon his.
Phoebe immediately recognized the truth shining in the amazing blue depths of Cole's eyes as well as the sheer beauty of his soul. He was right! She did still know how to trust. There wasn't an iota of doubt or hesitation in her now. She threw herself in his arms and began kissing the daylights out of him.
"Welcome home my love," he whispered against her lips, and then he returned her kisses with equal enthusiasm.
Phoebe could see Cole coming closer. She nearly collapsed from the ache in her heart. It wasn't fair. How was she supposed to ward him off when just looking at that magnificent face of his made her so weak? She closed her eyes and gasped for breath.
"Get out of here Cole," she screamed. "Just leave me be."
"I can't do that my love and you know it. If I could just turn my back on you and walk away from what we mean to each other, one or both of us would have been dead along time ago. I would have remained Belthazor forever and I'd either have killed you and you're sisters or have been vanquished myself. Instead I turned my back on the only world I ever really knew, on my training, and my allies. I gave up my powers and defenses all so that we could be together. Why would I just out of the blue decide to gamble with the treasure I risked everything including my very life to obtain? Do I seem that stupid to you? And forget about me for a moment and ask yourself another question. Does the Source seem that stupid to you?"
"I've betrayed him and the side of evil over and over again. He's said time and time again that my human side makes me weak. He also knew you and your sisters would be coming for him. So don't you think he would have prepared a much better contingency plan for preserving his legacy and securing the future of the underworld than passing it on to me. Especially since he knows how vulnerable I am to you because of our love. I've offered to let you vanquish me before, The Source, would have no guarantees I wouldn't do that again."
"Stop it, Cole. You're just trying to trick me."
"Am I? And just what would I have to gain by that Phoebe?"
"You want me back to warm your bed at night, you want me to become evil," she shouted.
Just then Phoebe and Cole became aware of Anton calling to her. "No you are confusing me with him. Think back Phoebe. When you first found out I was a half demon did I ever even once ask you to join me on the other side?"
Phoebe literally shook with confusion. "No not at first," she conceded.
"No not ever," he responded back. If that was what I wanted I could have had it already. Do you remember when Prue was kidnapped by the Warlock and forced to marry him and the three of you started to turn evil? You asked me then if I wanted you to be evil and I told you no because there is no such thing as evil love only lust. I said that I wanted your love and that the only way I could have it was for us both to be good."
"If that isn't enough proof for you think back to the day Shaxs attacked Piper and Prue. You had come down to the underworld to save me with one of your potions. The Source knew you were there. He tried to blackmail you into staying by offering to spare Piper's life in return. You'd agreed in order to save her."
"Sure we suspected that the Source was setting us up, but if I wanted to stay in the underworld with you I probably could have talked our way out it somehow. I'd gotten myself out of tighter spots before. Sure staying there would have had its risks but no more so than what we ended up doing. I helped you escape because I knew even if the Source was on the level; you'd never survive the guilt of being evil. You would have stopped being you, you'd have ceased to be the woman I fell in love with and I'd have lost you and our love anyway. I was willing to die in order to prevent that and I still am."
Anton's voice was becoming more and more impatient. Phoebe felt him shake her exterior physical body. She didn't know what to do anymore and cried out her uncertainty.
"Phoebe, ignore him," Cole pleaded. He's the one who wants you to surrender your identity, your goodness, your family, your powers, and your independence not me. So why am I the one your fighting against and not Anton? Or maybe I am the village idiot. Maybe I'm the one whose been lied too. Is it he you love and not I?"
"No, I've never loved him," Phoebe screamed. I could never love anyone the way I love you. You're my soul mate and I know that no matter how I wish I could deny it. Does that make you feel better? "
"Then why Phoebe? Why would you even consider agreeing to his offer? I don't understand," Cole, said, his voice quaking.
"Because maybe for a short while, I won't be alone, and when the time comes for him to turn on me, at least I won't have to feel the agony of loss. I won't have to feel anything especially the utter torture of betrayal and abandonment like I do now."
"I think I'm beginning to get the picture," Cole replied.
"Good then can you explain it to me?" Phoebe asked only half sarcastically. "Because I don't think I know what's real and what isn't it anymore."
"Gladly! This isn't about the hallucinations or even about Anton or I. This is about your battle scars like always. Look I'm more sorry than you'll ever know about your parent's divorce, and your mother dying, and your father leaving you and your sisters, and all of Gram's failed marriages and Gram's and Prue's deaths. You can't keep punishing yourself, your family, or me for what happened in the past though."
"Take a look around you. Your Dad, Piper, Leo, and even Prue are all here for you right here and now. I'm willing to bet your mother and Grams aren't far away either. They didn't ever really abandon you. And I'm not in some netherworld plotting evil, I'm right here beside you, and I don't intend on leaving you ever, not if I have anything to say about the matter. Trust me my love," Cole pleaded. "
"I'm not sure I know how to trust anymore," Phoebe said wiping ineffectively at her tears.
"Yes you do!" Cole assured her. He moved closer and rewarded her with a tender smile when she didn't move away. "Use your gift of sight. You have the power to see more than random future events you know. You have the ability to see past all the facades we other beings use to hide behind."
"And how do you know this about my power when I don't?" Phoebe asked.
"Oh that's simple. How else would you have seen past the exterior of one of the most evil vicious monsters in history to discover the lost soul of the man beneath? You brought me back into the light, Phoebe now it's my turn to do the same for you. Look into my eyes and you'll see the truth."
He stood completely still allowing her to take the lead. She might be making a mistake but Phoebe found she couldn't help herself. She stepped closer and cast her gaze upon his.
Phoebe immediately recognized the truth shining in the amazing blue depths of Cole's eyes as well as the sheer beauty of his soul. He was right! She did still know how to trust. There wasn't an iota of doubt or hesitation in her now. She threw herself in his arms and began kissing the daylights out of him.
"Welcome home my love," he whispered against her lips, and then he returned her kisses with equal enthusiasm.