THIRD TIME'S THE CHARM

Shopping basket in hand, Emilia sways to the tune of smooth jazz playing across the PA system of the local pharmacy down the street. She stands in line, waiting for the next cashier to ring up her overwhelming haul. A whole basket full of pregnancy tests for her friend Helena. Plus one king-sized Snickers bar. Because the huntress slash cat-lady acts a little crazy when she's hungry.

There's a man standing behind her in line. He too is holding a basket, although his is filled with the sorts of sundries you'd expect a handsome young bachelor of his type to be buying. A bag of chips and a liter of soda for later. Some vitamin supplements. Condoms. Also for later...

E turns her head and flashes a smile his way. Noticing the rather dumbstruck look he gives both her and then her basket, she grins a flirty grin.

"Oh, these aren't for me." The red-head purrs seductively. "I'm just holding them for a friend."

Rule one of hanging with Enigma is DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!

Anything can be a potential trick or trap.

For example. That painting on the wall just ever so slightly tilted off its kilter? The one that just BEGS to be straightened?

TRAP.

That vase of fresh-cut flowers on the table by the window.

TRAP.

The freaking light switch.

You guessed it.

It's a TRAP!

Helena sips her third cup of water, browsing through E's collection of Japanese puzzle boxes. Surprisingly quite possibly the only thing in the whole apartment not rigged or wired to blow. Hoping the enigmatic vixen hurries up and gets back soon. This place makes her jumpier than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Not a moment too soon, the door handle jiggles. Followed by several clicks and the sound of un-latching locks. Even something as simple as opening a door is a puzzle to be solved for this girl. Not that Hel's any better. A master at breaking and entering, she makes her own way in and out of any situation.

"Honey! I'm home!" Enigma sings across the room. She lifts one very full shopping bag. "And I come bearing gifts!"

Helena quickly rushes over, grabbing the bag and immediately searching through it.

"This isn't everything on my list." The Huntress grumbles.

"Trust me, Hel-Cat." Enigma sighs. "It's plenty enough."

With the roll of her eyes, Helena takes a seat on the lime-green sofa and begins to organize her bounty. Laying out boxes on the coffee table nearby.

Enigma strolls over and removes a random test from its box. Picking up a set of instructions and reading them in hand.

"So, you ready to do this?" E asks rather seriously.

Helena nods, determined and mindset on her task. Opening up boxes and laying out tests in a row.

"I hope you don't mind. I borrowed a beaker from your workstation."

Eyes wandering to said workstation, it's then that Enigma notices the once empty glass beaker now filled with urine. She hangs her head and runs a hand through her ginger hair. THIS is why she chooses to live alone. People coming in here. Touching her things. Peeing in beakers...

"Don't mention it." E replies with yet another weary sigh. "In fact, you can have it when you're done. Think of it as a keepsake of our time spent together."

Finally unboxing the very last test, Helena cracks a small secretive smile to herself. She's yet to tell E the best part.

"There's a beaker waiting for you too."

With a face of shock, Enigma puts her foot down.

"WHAT!? NO!" She shouts. "Look. It's one thing to help YOU out, but I don't need to go peeing on nothing for no one!"

From her spot on the couch, Helena looks up at her best friend. And with a sly grin, she hands her a pregnancy test.

"I need a control to measure all the other samples against. That way I know the tests themselves are working properly." She says with a purr. "You have nothing to hide. Right, E? Just... Think of it as one of your scientific experiments."

Rolling her eyes, Enigma snatches the test out of Helena's grasp. She throws her head back and groans dramatically, all the while storming off towards the bathroom.

"YOU'RE THE BEST!" Hel shouts after her.

The bathroom door slams and Helena retrieves her own "sample". The beaker of pee atop E's workbench.

The stopwatch is ready. The tests are all in a line. Forget about the jitters and nerves. Time to get this party started.

Hel rips open the wrapper to the first test, places applicator tip down into the beaker and sets to work on the instructions. Wait three seconds. Remove and lay flat. In just three minutes she'll have her very first answer in a long line of questions.

However, thirty minutes later and she's no closer to an answer of any kind. Oh, the tests have worked well. Though Helena refuses to accept it. Every three minutes, Enigma exclaims the result to yet another pregnancy test. Each time the same and each time more excitedly than the last.

"AAAAAnd the results are IN!" E declares triumphantly, waving the stick around in the air for all the invisible spectators to see. All must claim witness. All but Helena. "And the ANSWER iiiiiiiiiiis... PREGNANT!"

Helena sits on the couch by herself. Elbows to her knees and fingers steepled at her lips. Brooding in silence. Her thoughts focused inward.

"Again." The Huntress growls low. It's the first thing she's said in nearly ten minutes.

Enigma places the stick down amongst the growing collection of positive tests. Plus signs and double lines alike.

"I can't." She states simply. "We're all out."

"Then go get some more and we'll do it again."

"I bought out the store."

"Then buy out ANOTHER store!"

Getting up from her spot on the floor by the coffee table, Enigma gets in closer to the ever disagreeable Helena. She just wants to shake the girl silly. Smack some sense into her. And she would too if her friend weren't in such a "delicate" way.

"It's time to face facts, Mama-Cat." E can't help but grin. "You're having a kitten!"

Helena groans, hiding her face in her hand. Isn't this bad enough? Does E really have to go and add insult to injury by picking out a new pet name for her?

"I'm NOT having a kitten or a baby or anything else, alright."

"I'd like to disagree with you on that one." Enigma retorts before quickly adding, "Oh! Do I get to be the godmother or something? Can I pick out the name? How about Eliott? Edwin? Elvira? Something with an 'E' in it..."

"Enigma, stop! I'm NOT having a baby." Hel shouts.

Perhaps if she says it just a little bit louder, she just might believe it herself.

"Well sure you are. The tests don't lie."

"The tests are wrong." Helena shakes her head. "It's just... It's just impossible."

"What's not possible? You getting pregnant?" E asks. "Why? Did he wear a rubber?"

"I didn't say 'not possible'. I said impossible." Helena corrects. "And, no. He didn't wear a condom."

"You on the pill?"

Again Helena shakes her head.

"So you didn't use any protection at all?"

Under Enigma's scrutinizing eye, Hel shrugs sheepishly.

"It's like you said," Helena begins, "I'm-"

"A nun?" E cuts in to finish her sentence.

"Celibate was the word I was looking for." Hel replies, rubbing the back of her neck uneasily. Why Enigma must always refer to her as a nun... Just because she wears a cross around her neck and on her uniform and is far less promiscuous than she is. "I just haven't had any need to be on the pill or anything. I haven't exactly been... intimate... with anyone for a while."

"Then please allow me to repeat... YOU DIDN'T USE ANY PROTECTION?" E feels the need to shout. "You DO know where babies come from, right?"

Helena glares up at her boisterous friend with all the questions.

"I KNOW where babies come from, E." She snidely replies. "I'm just saying, protection or not, it's IMPOSSIBLE for him and I to have a baby together. That's all. So there HAS to be some mistake. The tests are WRONG."

Enigma becomes quiet for a moment. The gears are turning inside that pretty little head of hers. Trying to piece together the real mystery behind it all. Solve the true riddle. Why is Helena so set and determined she's not pregnant when she so clearly is? What's so impossible? Why can't she have a baby with this man? Is he an alien? Mutant? Meta? Magic...

"Riddle me this, Mama-Cat." E begins. "Who's the father?"

Arms folded across her chest, Enigma begs the question. Though she knows better than to expect an answer from her flighty feline friend.

Helena gets up from her seat and motions towards the door. Enigma doesn't even try to stop her. What's the point, anyhow. She's already calculated her next move. She won't be going far. And besides, she'll be back. The cat always comes back.

"I'm getting a second opinion. I'll be back in a couple hours." Helena instructs in that no-nonsense tone of hers. "And I EXPECT a new batch of tests by the time I return."

Enigma nods like a dashboard bobble head. Like a child only half-agreeing with what their patent has to say. Because there's no way in hell she's getting her any more damned pregnancy tests. Or any other tests for that matter. All she's going to do is wait right here for Helena to return. Maybe clean up all the pee sticks before her apartment starts to smell... And when Hel does get back, she'll be there for her. Physically. Emotionally. And to say 'I told you so.' Because what are friends for anyway?

Helena didn't want to go out again, but what choice does she have? She doesn't like relying on others, asking for help, but what else can she do? She needs answers. She just needs to know. The tests are wrong. She's absolutely sure of it. She doesn't know how, but they are. And that's that.

So she seeks out yet another friend. A teammate with no ties to Batman what-so-ever. Superman, definitely, but as with most capes and cowls, the girl knows how to keep a secret.

Timid as a mouse, Helena knocks at the door. It's not that the super girl intimidates her. Nothing like that. It's the thought of x-ray vision and super hearing that does. Hel knows the second Miss Starr opens that door, she'll have a very immediate answer. And she's just not ready for that.

Not a moment later, the blonde bombshell opens the door. Dressed in an oh-so-fab and super-tight miniskirt and a white, peekaboo blouse revealing her more than ample chest.

"Hel!" The Kryptonian exclaims upon opening the front door. "You should have called. If I knew you were coming I'd have baked a cake..."

Kara takes one look at Helena. And one look is all she needs.

"O...M...G!"

Her feet practically don't touch the floor. In fact, they literally don't. The Power Girl swoops through the air the short distance between them, scooping Helena up in her muscle-bound arms and lifting her six feet off the ground.

"SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH! SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH!" Hel squeals in the girl's grasp.

"OH! Right! Sorry!"

Kara releases Helena from her power hug and the two drift slowly back down to the ground.

"Oh my gosh, Hel! This is so exciting!" Kara gushes enthusiastically, totally oblivious to the fact that Helena's not sharing in her enthusiasm. "I'm taking you out shopping! You're going to need an all new wardrobe. I'm thinking Rodeo Drive. I hear Vera Wang has a brand new maternity line coming out soon. I bet you could get a sneak preview..." She abruptly stops her gushing upon realization. "You don't look happy. Why don't you look happy?"

Hel just stands there in the open doorway. Hair covering her face, looking down at the ground.

"You're sure." Helena squeaks in a tiny voice. "You're absolutely sure?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, I can hear two heartbeats, Hel."

"And you can see it?"

Kara squints, trying to get a good look at the girl's stomach.

"Well... It's kinda hazy. Like there's this... force or something getting in the way of my vision."

Kryptonians and magic have never mixed well. If she'd been thinking clearly, Helena would have already known that. Of course Kara can't see what's really going on with her. The cross-shaped amulet she wears is throwing off the Power Girl's game. No doubt it's also messing with her hearing. Just like the pregnancy tests, Kara must be off as well.

"Hel? Is everything alright?" Kara worries, confused at how strange her friend is acting.

"I... I'm sorry." Helena stammers, taking a step back and away from the door. "Something just came up. I... I gotta go."

Forget the fact that she'd taken well over thirty of them, home pregnancy tests are unreliable. What with their false positives and only a mere ninety percent accuracy. The same can be said towards a Kryptonian's senses when magic is involved. She can't rely on either set of results. And so she dares to go to the one place she'd hoped to never go.

Doctor Leslie Thompkins.

Family friend and confidant to not only her father but her mother as well. She knows their secrets and has kept them well. Mending their broken bodies as well as their spirits and minds. An ear to lend and a shoulder to lean on. She may not be an Alfred, but she's damned good at what she does. Stitching up knife wounds and putting lives back together. She's been there since the very beginning. Through thick and thin. And right now, Helena's in the very thick of it. She only hopes patient confidentiality applies when the Bat-family is involved.

For the same reason she didn't just go to any old run-of-the-mill doctor's office, Helena waits until office hours have ended and Leslie's closing up for the night. No need getting the general public all excited over seeing Helena Wayne asking to use the ultrasound for fairly obvious reasons.

The silver-haired woman in a white doctor's coat approaches the back door in order to lock up. Upon noticing Helena at her doorstep, instead she turns back on the lights and allows the girl inside.

While she may be accustomed to the various members of her "family" making their way to her door, it's not very often and highly unlikely when they're dressed in street clothes. And not bleeding profusely from some manner of wound. All in all, it's a strange sight, indeed. Leslie wonders what it is that the young heiress could possibly need at this hour of night.

"Helena?"

In her own grandmotherly way, Leslie shows concern for the plain-clothed Huntress. Even if she is out of uniform and without any visible signs of contusions or bullet holes and whatnot, she certainly doesn't look well. Much paler than usual. A bit green, in fact. Sickly and drained. Low.

"I... This... This can't get back to my father." Helena begins cautiously.

Before even going into it, she wants to make that much clear.

"Of course, child. I would never." Leslie replies sincerely. "What ever is the matter? Is everything alright?"

Why was she ever even nervous? Of course Leslie would never betray her trust. Still, it doesn't help the butterflies from rising. Maybe it's just that she doesn't want to let the old woman down. Make her think less of her. Make them all think less of her. She doesn't want to appear weak. She doesn't want them to know how badly she's screwed up. How she's a failure. Useless. All the things she already knows herself to be.

And if it's true? If she really is pregnant?

No.

She can't allow herself to think like that. You name it. You own it. And right now the last thing she needs is to own up to something that big.

"I... I need to borrow your ultrasound." Helena struggles to say. "Can you... Can you help me?"

Leslie doesn't say anything. Not the squeals of joy like Kara. Not the questioning eyes of E. No judgment or excitement or worry or shame or anything at all. Just completely professional. Nothing but compassion. Because that's Leslie Thompkins. She's just that kind.

She herds Helena into a small room with no windows. Fresh grey paint and sterile doctor's furniture. Not the nicest physician's office Hel's been in. But this is the East End, after all. And it's a free clinic. They do the best with what they've got.

Ironic how the brand new ultrasound machine was a donation from her father to the clinic. A lot of babies born in the less well to do side of town. Certainly this isn't how he thought his gift would be put to use. With his own daughter on the examining table. Undressing down to practically nothing, with her legs in the stirrups.

"Now, this is going to be cold." Leslie informs politely.

She slathers Helena's belly in a cold feeling jelly before applying the instrument to her abdomen. Moving the wand around, gliding smoothly across her lower stomach until she finds the right spot where she needs to be.

Helena watches the monitor. The black and white grainy image slowly coming into view. And just like that, she has her answer. No ifs or buts or questions about it. No denying it. Not at all. Not any more. There's just no arguing with science. No questioning her own eyes and ears and senses. The technology proves it. The results are truly in. Undeniable, indisputable proof.

"You're pregnant." Doctor Thompkins confirms. "Judging by the size of your uterus, I'd say you're about-"

"Nine weeks." Helena completes her sentence.

She already knows. She's always known. She just didn't want to believe it.

"Do you want to hear your baby's heartbeat?"

Leslie turns on the sound and sure enough, strong and loud, there it is. Hands in her hair, she covers her eyes. Head tilted back and face to the ceiling, Helena begins to cry. Sobbing softly to the sound of her unborn child's heart.

I'm kinda freaking out right now. Just saw the October solicits for DC comics and it looks like our favorite Witch Boy will be getting his own monthly series! Judging by the cover, he looks a little funny... But he's BLUE! New 52 debut! Can't wait! 10/8, baby!