Through the Trapped Door: Thank you, I'm glad you think so :)
Elphaba-Rose: Thank you for reviewing again :) It's good to read the relative fluffiness was appreciated! Thank you very much for complimenting my English, it never fails to be an insecurity so it's good to get positive feedback on that :) I hope you will enjoy this next chapter.
DevianYUE: Thank you :D
bbchan: Don't worry about hurting my feelings! :) Liking the plot depends strongly on taste and of course that is going to differ from person to person. I hope to ease your mind a little into reading further by telling you that it was never my intention to fly in a shrink over their heads and have her save the day. It will take quite a different turn from that. Thank you for reviewing, I hope you will continue to read and comment :)
starless-ocean: Obviously I can't answer your questions right now, but I hope you will keep reading to find out :) Thank you for reviewing again :)
Nikki: Thank you for reviewing :) I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and enjoying the "guessing game" as well ;) I'm curious to read in a few chapters time if you got it right ;) There was a little hint in the previous chapter...
KenshinnXX: We will see if you're suspicion turns out to be correct ;) I finally found the time to listen to the song you suggested for Duo (Grenade by Bruno Mars) and first off I must thank you for introducing me to this song, I love it! But I don't think the lyrics apply, because Heero would catch a grenade for Duo as well :) And I must thank you again because listening to this song inspired a flashback scene for this chapter! Thank you for reviewing, I hope you will like this chapter :)
Sue: I understand your nervousness, but I'm glad to hear that you trust me and I think in this regard you have nothing to worry about :) I'm actually using it to create more of those moments between them. She's just a means to an end :P Thank you for reviewing and I really hope you will enjoy this update!
snowdragonct: I'm glad the feeling of the chapter seems to have come across so well :) And it's good to read you don't find my rendition of Heero robotic, I assume you read my responses to the reviews? I certainly didn't want him to be interpreted as robotic so I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees more in it, otherwise I would have a problem :S Thank you so much for your review :)
CircleKV12: You hit that one on the nose :) You'll find out what happens soon enough and I hope you'll will find that it fits the story! Duo missing school isn't going to be too much of a problem, as addressed in earlier chapters, he is far ahead on most of his classes, being the amazing Gundam Pilot that he is :) Thank you for reviewing and I hope you will like this new chapter :)
Author's note:
The responses on the introduction of the psychiatrist were really mixed, that was quite interesting! Some are really against it and others think of it very positively. But in spite of the very different opinions and expectations that have been expressed by reviewers I think both parties will be content with the way it plays out. I certainly hope so :) I was torn on the matter myself, feeling it was necessary to a certain extent but at the same time not really liking another outsider taking away from the interaction between Heero and Duo.
The title and flashback scene were inspired by Grenade by Bruno Mars, courtesy of KenshinnXX :)
A final note, or warning rather: Duo does some swearing near the end of the chapter. The "f-bomb" is dropped a few times but considering the M-rating I assume it won't be a problem and I hope my assumption turns out correct.
Warheads
Part XXV - Love, laid out on the train tracks
In the car an awkward and tense silence ruled the space. The driver of the black, unmarked sedan, undoubtedly an agent, turned up the radio in an attempt to ease the discomfort. We left the city behind, following the trail of asphalt through the fields. In the distance a single building neared, the tall high rise of the Preventer Agency; a glass rectangular jutting up from the landscape like an alien structure, reflecting the sunlight to create the illusion of a second sun. I peered out the window when I heard the rumble of an airplane passing low over the earth. As we got closer more shapes became distinguishable, that of the Kennedy center, the flight control towers and the space launch rig.
"Have you ever been to space?" Our apparently clueless driver inquired, catching my focused gaze on the scaffold structure.
"Yes. Many times."
He looked at me through the rear-view mirror. "What's it like?"
I shrugged, trying to see his eyes through his black sunglasses. "Not as different as you'd expect."
The car stopped in front of the main entrance and the driver hurried to the back passenger door to help Heero out of the car. As we had been expected, a young woman in a nurse's uniform emerged from the building, pushing a wheelchair in front of her. Heero impolitely refused, struggling past her, limping with his crutch.
"Thanks anyway." I said to her and then followed Heero inside.
In the lobby I saw a familiar face behind the reception desk. It was the same receptionist that had been there that night. I had lost track of the memory of her name, but wasn't concerned, surely she wouldn't remember me either. "Hi." I greeted cheerfully as I approached the desk.
"Hello, how may I help you?"
"I'm Duo Maxwell, this is Heero Yuy, he's an agent here and he has an appointment."
"Ah, yes." She bent over to open a drawer hidden from sight and produced a security card that read "VISITOR", along with that she handed us both passes that had our pictures and names on them. "Show these to security if asked." She instructed. "The card is for the elevator. Just swipe it front of the light and it will automatically take you up to the hospital wing."
"Thank you."
"Have a nice day." She chirped.
"You too."
Heero and I went over to the elevator and it immediately opened before us. We stepped inside and I swiped the card in front of the light as instructed and as I had seen before, during my last visit. A mechanical voice announced the floor we were headed too and then jolted into motion, swiftly moving up the shaft.
"Are you nervous?" I asked.
Heero frowned. "Why would I be? You really didn't have to come."
"Nonsense. Get used to it."
The elevator came to a sleek halt and the doors opened smoothly to the white expanse of the hospital floor. Another nurse instantly came towards us to greet us. She held a chart in her hands and simply asked: "Yuy?"
"Yes." My stoic boyfriend answered.
"Doctor Borland is ready for you agent." She guided Heero down a hallway. When he noticed I was following him he turned around and asked me:
"What are you doing?"
"What? You didn't think I tagged along because I like waiting rooms, did you? I'm going with you."
"Why?"
"Because I don't trust you as a patient. I want to hear for myself what the doc has to say."
Heero grumbled something under his breath but didn't argue with me further. The nurse waited patiently to finish our little quarrel, smirking, then took us to the right door at the end of the hallway. She knocked on the door softly and announced our presence.
"Send him in."
The nurse left and we stepped inside the examination room. The doctor looked at me curiously for a moment or two but didn't say or ask anything. He patted his hand on the padded examination table and I helped Heero climb onto it. At the doctors order I helped him out of his shirt and pants, noting with motherly concern the Goosebumps that took to his skin.
"Have my instructions been followed?"
"Yes, doctor." I answered, hovering around the two of them, inquisitively peering over their shoulders as the doctor sat on a stool in front of Heero and started the examination of his knee. He removed the brace, taking little care in sparing Heero additional pain. At Heero's hiss I wondered out loud: "Can't you give him some painkillers?"
"We don't prescribe long-term use of pain medication to agents, in light of the highly addictive qualities of the drugs." The doctor stated, never taking his eyes off Heero's leg as his bony fingers prodded the skin and maneuvered the joint back and forth.
"I can handle it." Heero said, but he was gritting his teeth.
"The patella is still very loose, friction with the tendons and other bones is probably what causes the pain. This is best remedied by physical therapy. I will sign you up so you can start next week. It's important you start slowly, otherwise it will only get worse."
"You hear that Heero, slowly." I urged.
"I heard him." Heero grumbled.
The doctor fitting the knee brace around his leg again, with little precaution. Though he understood the physical injuries, he obviously didn't empathize. "Lie down." He said and then his fingers unwrapped the bandage around Heero's thigh. He kneaded the flesh and plucked at the wound, eliciting a moan from Heero. "This is healing up well." He stated. He lifted Heero's leg of the table to examine the exit wound which also had him nodding appreciatively. "This seems true to your reputation. A quick healer." He redressed the wound and then moved over to the next bullet wound, applying pressure on Heero's abdomen with his fingers, causing Heero to narrow his eyes.
"All good." He mumbled. "Sit up." Doctor Borland moved over to the other side of the table, forcing me out of the way. He took off the shoulder brace and even though his touch again was ungentle, it didn't seem to hurt Heero much. With his thin fingers he felt around, feeling the bones and muscles. "Flex your fingers." Heero did as told. Borland took an instrument out of his pocket, a small serrated wheel on the end of a silver handle. He placed it at Heero's wrist and ordered him to notify him if he didn't feel the stimulation and then rolled the wheel up his arm. "No nerve damage." He concluded when he reached the shoulder and Heero had not indicated a loss of sensation. "The tendons are already tightening up, holding the ball joint in the socket. Just the sling will do from now on." Heero was overtly relieved at this news, the discomfort of the hard plastic had really been a bother, the skin around his shoulder started to show the red signs of painful chaffing.
Borland grabbed Heero's chin and forcefully made him look at him. He took a penlight out of his coat pocket and shone it in both of Heero's eyes and then moved it from left to right, studying Heero's eyes as they followed the light as instructed. "Good dilation. There hasn't been any loss of equilibrium, headaches or confusion?"
"No." Heero and I answered in unison.
"Good. The subconjunctival hemorrhage is starting to fade as well. It will be gone in a few days. The pinna is healing without infections. You can get dressed." He announced and then separated himself from us, heading over to a small sterile desk in the corner where he took a chart into his hand and started writing furiously. The sound of his pen scraping across the paper filled the entire room. I helped Heero get dressed, taking extra care of his shoulder now that it was no longer supported by the brace.
"What's the verdict?" I asked when the doctor joined us again.
"Everything is healing satisfactorily. The wounds should still be redressed frequently and monitored for infection. I will arrange for physiotherapy at the Preventers Recovery Center next week. Twice a week for as long as it takes."
"And where is this center?"
"One floor down." Doctor Borland answered in a tone that indicated my question had been stupid.
"Wow, you guess really have everything in this building."
He ignored me and said to Heero: "The knee brace and sling will have to be worn till the therapist sees fit." Then he proceeded to usher us both out of his examination room.
"That was quick." I commented as the door shut behind us. I jumped when I suddenly noticed that nurse was standing right by me. Her white uniform camouflaged her eerily well against the white of the hallway.
"Doctor Nettle is ready for you." She walked off and we followed her. She lead us back to the lobby and then deep into another hallway. We passed a silver sign that read: Psychiatric wing. There were disturbingly many doors and I wondered secretly what was behind all of them. I imaged padded cells and patients strapped into straight jackets, screaming in vain because the doors and walls were soundproofed. I suddenly found my hands were sweaty. I wiped them on my jeans nervously. "You can't accompany him." The nurse informed when she stopped in front of the last door.
"I know. I just want to meet her."
She nodded and then knocked on the door, dutifully announcing us again.
"It's open."
The nurse opened the door for us and then left again.
Cautiously I stepped inside, following Heero who seemed to have no reservations. When I walked inside the room it felt like I had just passed through the twilight zone and landed in an alternative dimension. The walls were covered with rich mahogany paneling, the floor carpeted with a Renaissance design. There was a cozy sitting area with a coffee table with colorful magazines and a large desk in front of a window that overlooked the pristine, untouched field. The office was carefully located so it wouldn't offer a view of neither the air- and space-port nor the burial grounds.
Behind the desk was a middle-aged, attractive woman. Her brown hair fell sleekly around her long, pale face and bangs framed grey eyes. She rose out of her seat, smoothing the wrinkles out of her navy blue, fitting pantsuit and approached us with her arm stretched out, offering her hand. She didn't acknowledge that Heero refused to shake her hand but simply walked over to me to introduce herself. "Hello, I'm Cynthia Nettle. You must be Duo Maxwell."
"Indeed." I said, feeling uncomfortable.
"You don't need to be nervous." She said with a slight smile. "I can't read minds."
"Then what credentials do you have?" Heero asked, his tone insulting.
"You can inspect them for yourself. They are right there." She pointed to a decorated wall of certifications, diploma's, degrees, awards and newspaper clippings.
I wasn't sure if it was displayed so prominently because she was full of herself or if she had been confronted with skeptical patients like Heero many times before and found this an effective way to convince them of her expertise.
"You can take a seat if you want, agent Yuy."
I immediately didn't like her tone. She was talking to him like a mother may talk to a young child. I scanned the room for more detail. Noting the many thick and old books on the bookshelves along with artifacts and figurines from all over the world, including a selection of intimidating African masks. "Did Une talk to you?" I asked, prying my eyes away from the frightening hollow eyes of the masks. "I mean, do you know..."
"You don't have to worry about anything, mister Maxwell." She interjected before I could gather and organize my thoughts. "I know what I'm doing."
I honestly doubted that.
"You can wait in the hallway, I've asked the nurses to come bring you a chair, you can wait right outside." With her hand on my back she guided me to the door, where I indeed noticed a metal chair had been placed just outside, facing the door. She had obviously been informed of the obsessive behavior I had depicted during my previous visit.
"Uh, thanks." I stepped over the threshold, back into the white twilight zone and the door was immediately shut behind me. It sounded so definitive. I quickly figured the rooms were in fact sound proofed, because no sound was heard from past the door and even though I knew Heero to keep his mouth shut for a long time to come, I trusted Nettle would be quite talkative to live up to her reputation as exhibited on her wall.
The appointment only lasted an hour, that wasn't a long time. It was certainly an amount of time that I could normally easily span, but time dragged it's feet and each time I checked my watch even less time had passed.
12:49. 13:02. 13:11. 13:19. 13:25. 13:27. 13:28. 13:28. 13:28.
I stretched my arms and legs. The chair was agonizing and the discomfort was only enhanced by the wait. I started tapping a made-up rhythm on the side of the chair, which reminded me of an actually song I half-remembered so I took to that tune and softly sang the lyrics, humming when I couldn't remember verses.
13:31
"Oh God." I exclaimed, forgetting about the song. I kept adjusting my body in the seat but there was honestly no comfortable position to take. The seat was too hard and the back too straight, slowly starting to increase the painful aching in my body. "Where did they get this thing, the torture room?" I asked myself. I stood up, seeing no sense in remaining seated.
I paced back and forth. Wondering what she was telling him. Even more curious about Heero's reaction. It wasn't in the best interest of his recovery but a deviant, devilish side of me wished he was giving her a hard time, letting her know that you can't generalize human beings. Letting her know that there is a uniqueness to all of us that should never be evened out. I supposed that was just the jealousy conspiring.
At 13:44 the door opened. Nettle smiled at me. "We are done for today. We made appointments for the following week, preceding each physiotherapy session." In the doorway she tried to shake Heero's hand again but he simply walked past her. It didn't seem to affect her. "I hope the wait wasn't too long."
"Not at all." I lied and I shook her hand out of politeness.
"Goodbye."
"Goodbye." I watched her close the door and then looked over at Heero, waiting for me at the far end of the hallway, by the lobby. I raised my eyebrows at him in question. "So?" I asked when I had caught up to him and we waited by the elevator.
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing."
"Okay, I'll believe you said nothing but I have trouble accepting she said nothing."
"She did talk."
The elevator dinged and it's doors opened for us. I waited for the doors to shut again, allowing us privacy before I continued: "What did she say? Did she ask stuff?"
"It was more like..." He frowned, pausing to think. "It was more like a presentation. She told me everything she knew about me."
I snorted. "That couldn't have been a hell of a lot."
"It wasn't." He said, his frown deepening. "But I think that was the point. I'm not really sure, I don't understand psychology."
I chuckled and patted his shoulder. "That makes two of us." I bit my lip and hesitated momentarily before asking: "So you didn't say anything?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"She didn't ask me anything."
"She didn't?"
"No." He affirmed.
"Then what did you two do in there for an hour long?" I insisted.
"I sat on the couch ignoring her and she sat behind her desk, writing."
I snorted. "What kind of a shrink is that?"
Heero shrugged, obviously he, too, had no idea.
I wondered how this aloof "method of treatment" was ever going to help Heero, but I suspected there was more to it, she probably had a trick up her sleeve. I didn't like that. I liked honesty and being up front with things, not catching someone off guard and stealing private information from them. Of course that might sound a bit hypocritical coming from a former rebel who's job description included, but was not limited to, stealing sensitive information from the enemy. I supposed I didn't like the idea of her treating Heero as an enemy, or target. But like Heero I understood very little of psychology - being more of a tactile person than an "in your own head" kind of guy - on good faith I opted to trust her methods. So long as she didn't give me the slightest reason that yank that trust - and Heero - away from her.
Outside the driver was waiting for us, leaning against the side of his glossy black vehicle. As he saw us approach, he scurried to open the doors to the backseat for the both of us.
"You okay?" I asked Heero when I heard a faint groan as he crawled into the seat, having to bend his knee a little.
"Fine." He reached out and shut the door.
Ignoring looks from the driver I walked around the rear and got in on the other side, the driver closed the door for me before I had a chance to it myself.
"Back home?" He asked, adjusting his rear-view mirror and pinning his black eyes on me.
"Yes, please."
The motions of the car; the rocking of the suspension as we passed bumps and the swaying as we rounded corners, threatened to lull me to sleep. I had been getting too little of it lately, having as much on my mind as I had. Heero's biological rhythm was starting to restore itself but mine was only becoming more skewed.
I jostled awake from a shallow slumber when the driver abruptly hit the breaks and honked at the same time. My body was snared and held in the seat by the seatbelt, as was Heero and the driver. Even though no danger had come to us, I was instantly on high alert. I saw the blurred tail of a eighteen-wheeler truck pass right in front of us across the intersection.
The driver cursed colorfully and finished: "You've got to be psychotic to run the red light like that!"
I took a relieved inhale and then checked with Heero, to find him already looking at me.
He took my question right out of my mouth. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah... Just scared the shit out of me." I breathed. Then a smile. "I was going to ask you the same thing."
"I'm fine."
The car slowly, cautiously rolled on. The driver kept muttering obscene things all the way back to the front door of our modest brown-stone apartment building. I patted him on the shoulder before he could race out and around the car to gallantly open our doors. "Don't bother." And I smiled at him. He smiled back, thanked me and wished me a nice day. Heero didn't pay any attention to the small, mundane exchange, already climbing out of the car, hoisting himself up by the roof.
"Stubborn little..." I muttered, walking around. Instead of instantly offering my help, I crossed my arms in front of my chest and quirked an eyebrow at him.
He glared at me and exasperatedly blew a lock of chocolate brown hair out of his flustered face.
Knowing he would rather faint from exhaustion than ask for my help, I offered it without needing to be invited to. I helped him up and then leaned back into the car and got out his crutch. He snatched it out of my hands and hooked it under his arm, sticking his nose up at me. "I can do it myself." He started towards the front door while I said goodbye to the driver. He tipped his hat and then drove off.
With one arm leaning on the crutch and the other immobilized in the sling, Heero could only wait for me to open the door.
At his persistent glare I chuckled warmly. "Feisty." I joked.
As soon as I opened the door to our little apartment Heero nearly sprinted - to the best of his momentarily limited abilities - to the couch where he dropped down with a heavy sigh and leaned his head back. He let the crutch fall to the floor that it hit with a thud muffled by the carpet.
"I told you, you should have sat down on that bench in the elevator." I went to the refrigerator and got out two cold bottles of water. It was really hot out. I plopped down on the couch next to him, absentmindedly handing him one of the bottles and then using my free hand to open the top buttons of my black shirt, after which I wiped the sweat off my brow. "Thank God for AC." I spoke solemnly, looking at the happily buzzing and humming white machine on the wall.
"God didn't make air-conditioning." Heero noted, characteristically oblivious to my sarcasm, "If anything - if you insist on believing in a divine entity - he made the heat, for which man," he emphasized that word, "had to create air-conditioning."
"God made man. Man made AC. It's too hot to get into it any deeper than that." I put the bottle to my lips and titled it back, drinking till the bottle became light in my hand. I wasn't even sure if I believed in "a divine entity" but it seemed useful to entertain the thought. If only for the purpose of contradicting Heero and provoking a conversation out of him.
The incident in the car and the heat outside sparked the revival of a dated memory I cherished, but lately had no time to reminisce about. It brought a smile to my face and then I laughed at myself for smiling so goofily.
Heero lazily turned his head to look at me. "You seem to be amusing yourself."
"I was just..." My own chuckles interrupted me. "Do you remember the get-away, when we planted that ghost drive?"
"I do. But considering we narrowly escaped death I'm assuming one of us has his memories mixed up."
I prodded him in the side. "Was that sarcasm, Heero Yuy?"
"No."
I ignored him because he was lying, a smug smirk was pulling at the corner of his mouth. "I'm not smiling because it was fun at the time, but in hindsight it's a good memory, don't you think?"
"We successfully completed the mission." He said, but his voice had a tentative, questioning tone.
"I wasn't exactly referring to that. It was the first time we were really partners."
He frowned deeply. "We had partnered up many times before that."
"Four times. But those didn't count. We were partners but not really partners. We didn't act like partners, we were just two individuals with the same goal."
He looked at me sideways with desperately confused eyes.
"Never mind." I said with a smile. I reached out and gently touched his face with my fingers, my fingers pads mapping and memorizing the contours of his exquisite features and the softness and warmth of his skin. I leaned to the side, making our shoulders bump.
"Tell me." He pleaded in a whisper.
"No. You'll figure it out." I closed the distance to kiss him briefly.
He flinched and pulled back, stopping my heart and making it sink to a pit in my stomach.
"What?"
"I want to shower." He said dryly.
I was relieved it he didn't flinch for the reason I feared, but groaned nevertheless and buried my hands in my hair. "No kissing while you can't shower by yourself." I repeated my own rule, regretting the weakness of my self-control. But I knew it was a matter in which I could take no risk. I couldn't push the sexual aspect of our relationship without his full consent and own desire for it. I knew I would never harm Heero in any way, but with perception and introspection blurred by lust, the line between okay and harmful could be faded and I might inch past that boundary and have it reaffirmed even more strongly.
Subconsciously I tucked my hands into the pockets of my jeans, sinking back into the cushions of the couch.
"For what it's worth..." Heero started, not looking at me but at thin air straight ahead, "I really wanted to kiss too."
A happy smile spread across my lips. I sat up on the couch and reached for his neck with my hand, pulling him towards me so I could place a light, chaste kiss on his cheek, completely innocent. Then I jumped to my feet and hoisted him up at well. "Let's go shower." I announced, handing him his crutch. "A cold shower."
We showered together and the added chill of water pouring onto our bodies ensured a mechanical nature to the process. We were both shivering, our near-violent tremors traveling through our own bodies and then passing onto each other. It had been good at the beginning, washing away the heat and the dried sweat but soon the cold water became agonizing and relentless and I had little control over the motion of my hand as it rubbed soap onto his chest and abdomen. Then I forced my body to be still, for against my chest I detected a shaking of his body that was not the result of the experience of cold, it was stronger than the shivers and when I realized what it was, I wasn't cold anymore.
Heero was chuckling.
The soft, delicate sound was lost under the roar of the icy water hitting the porcelain bottom of the tub at our feet, but his body shook unmistakably against me and when I looked over his shoulder I caught a side glimpse of exposed pearly teeth as his mouth had opened and curled into a smile.
"What's so entertaining?"
"... It is a good memory. But that's so..."
"Fucked up?" I offered, laughing myself.
"Yes."
I marveled at the sight and feel of his laughter, it was over too soon. He became self-conscious when he noticed my close attention to him and he formed his lips back into a taut line.
Disappointed it was over - for now - but grateful for the little intimate, heartfelt moment, I buried my face into his wet hair, the locks darkened, nearly to black, by the water. I placed tiny, feathery kisses on the back of his neck, just overwhelmed with a giddy, happy feeling that I wish I could hold onto forever and share with him. My lips traveled to his shoulder, no longer placing individual kisses but dragging my lips lightly across his skin. I felt a particularly strong shiver go through him but forced myself not to read anything into it.
He cocked his head to the side, but didn't look back at me or say anything. I took it as an offering of his cheek, so I place a final kiss on his shoulder and then kissed his cheek. He moved his head again without me noticing and my next kiss landed on his lips. I opened my eyes - forgetting when I had closed them - and saw him looking at me, his eyes so brilliant.
I didn't kiss him again. I just smiled at him sheepishly and - whether it was my imagination or not - saw the gesture returned in kind. I took hold of the showerhead and purposefully directed it to wash the last of the suds off both of us and then quickly reached to close the faucet. I wrapped him in a towel and seated him on the toilet seat while I dried myself and quickly got dressed so I could perform my duties as his "nurse", tending to his wounds and helping him into his clothing. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time, but whenever I looked up at his face, his eyes would quickly turn away and his cheeks were slightly tinted. I celebrated the emotional victory quietly in my head, but remained focused on my task.
We had a quiet dinner with stolen glances and then we both went to bed early.
My bed felt delicious. My body became weightless. Instead of slipping into a surreal, ominous dream, the memory of the mission I mentioned resurfaced in detailed clarity. It was a memory that I had always treasured, even though I was ashamed to admit my reason, especially to Heero. It was the first time I realized he was no "robot", "freak" or "dead on the inside" as the Sweeper's crew often accused him of being, softly over breakfast, lunch and dinner, casting suspicious glances at him as he ate in a corner, by himself, secluded from everybody.
The mission had been straightforward, but it was a Gundam-less mission and those always frightened me the most. I felt exposed without Death scythe. His armor did not only offer protection from physical harm, the anonymity of being encased in a Gundanium cockpit protected me from moral implications as well. Inside the cockpit a separate world was created in which the hostile mobile suits that I blew up and cut into pieces were simply projections on a screen, not actual human beings, with families and friends who would miss them and would never have anything to bury, pay respect to, come back to, find solace with.
A fully automated Alliance space shuttle and missile launch compound was scheduled to send a space carrier out through the atmosphere the next day, transporting cargo of hazardous, volatile nature to the Lunar base. It was protected only by a small group of soldiers, limited in both their skills and resources. The objective was to break into the base, undetected, and replace the main drive with a ghost drive that would fool the regular, remote check-ups, whilst spreading fatal viruses through the entire system. The personal design of one Heero Yuy. By the time they would find out an alien drive had impregnated their system, it would be too late, with the virus spreading to other bases. The launch would be prevented, without them even knowing until three days later when no shuttle would arrive at the moon and all remote controlled bases on the continent would be rendered useless for as long as it took them to figure out and extract the virus. Which Heero boasted - that is a personal interpretation of his mechanical, monotonous way of speaking - would take them a long while.
The mission itself went perfectly. Even Heero, so I would read over his shoulder, reported it to have "transgressed satisfactorily". With our stealthy ways we managed to get past the guards unnoticed and Heero had a solution to every locked door. In the underground computer room, washed in blue light, he located the main drive and performed mechanical surgery to replace it with the virus riddled ghost drive he had brought along, without the digital security system noticing it's brief absence. Once the drive was planted and the original drive tucked into Heero's backpack, we left trailing the shadows of the angular concrete building and disappeared into the surrounding forest. Normally we blazoned our way with blood, bodies and shrieking alarms, but then there ruled a quiet in which I could hear my own soft pants and the rustling of leaves as we passed through the low foliage.
Relying on the map I had memorized and the position of the moon and the stars I guided us to twin tracks of train rails cutting straight to the forest. We had to follow the tracks North, across a deep ravine, to a small pass-over town where I had parked a restored old car I had nicked from a scrap yard in advance, for our getaway. We treaded through the undergrowth lining the forest edge and ducked and held still when a train approached from the opposite direction, roaring past us. It was a ribbon of steel, unmarked containers employed by OZ for transportation of heavy goods.
We watched it race by with our eyes glistening in the impressive pale light of the full moon.
"Let's go." I said, pulling Heero up out of the bushes once the train had fully passed.
We continued our way, an hour's worth of jogging, till we reached the ravine and we had to leave the protection of the plants and the shadows of the tall trees behind. I cautiously approached the edge and looked down, whistling appreciatively of nature's spectacular handiwork. The rocky cliff went straight down, far down. Below a river churned, I could hear it and sometimes catch white caps on the wavy current as it maneuvered around the wooden legs of the double track railroad bridge.
Heero stepped onto the tracks that were still firmly embedded in the ground and then started moving forwards towards the bridge. When he stepped on the first of the railroad ties that hovered far above the river, it creaked, making me nauseous. The next tie was quiet as he crossed the open distance between them and settled his weight on it. Satisfied that the ties would hold him, he started walking across.
I was far more hesitant. With the interspacing of the ties you had no choice but to look down at where you planted you feet, but beyond that was the promise of a nasty fall. Not lethal if you managed to clear the cliff edge and the structure of the bridge, but definitely painful and then you had the strong currents to worry about.
"Hey, Heero!" I called. He was already one third of the way across.
He stopped and turned around, balancing on a single tie. "What?"
I looked back. Then at him again. I could barely see him. "Maybe we should wait for the next train to pass before we cross. That will give us a window of a few minutes."
"There aren't any trains now." He argued impatiently. "Even if one would appear in the distance right now, we would still have enough time to cross the bridge. Or jump onto the opposite track." He gestured to the twin track next to him. I didn't like the three foot space between the two but I ignored the sick trepidation in my gut and accepted his logic, following him.
Some of the ties creaked like a haunted house when I stepped on them, others were brand new and strong, reviving my confidence. I got into a steady rhythm, stepping from one sleeper to the next, thanking the bright moon for accompanying us, otherwise there was no distinguishing between the ties and open space. I was halfway and I remembered hearing a lot of creaking when Heero cleared that point, but before it even registered as a threat I put my left foot down, adjusted my weight onto it and there was a loud snap. I started falling, but not far. The rotten tie had broken down the middle, but the sides remained intact and attached to the tracks. My leg sank through the gap that was created, right up to my thigh, where the jagged edged of the sides cut deep into my flesh, stopping my descent, pinning me in place.
"Fuck!" I screamed, trying to vent some of the immense pain. I looked down at my leg, the trousers had been cut open and I could see - to my dismay - where the splintery jagged edges cut into me. "Fuck that hurts!" Using my free leg and my arms I tried to free myself, but my leg was stuck. Instinctively I called out Heero's name, not liking how hoarse my voice sounded.
"What?" Came his voice from the distance. He must have already been on the other side because I couldn't see him.
"I could use some help over here!" I deadpanned, gritting my teeth at the throbbing pain. I fixed my gaze up ahead and saw his silhouette near me. "Be careful!" I warned as he neared me. "These things are rotten as hell." I didn't know why I even cared about him, he certainly didn't seem to care about me.
"What did you do?" He asked as he closed the distance. His face was stoic as he crouched down on the tie nearest to mine and fixed an unwavering gaze on my deep wounds.
I glared at him, but the impact might have been limited by the sickening sensation of my own warm blood dripping down my legs and then falling down. Way down. "What do you think, genius? I was rehearsing my tap-dancing routine!"
He frowned at me, insensitive to sarcasm.
"Just help me get up, okay?"
He nodded and took strong hold of me, trying to pull me up.
I groaned as some movement was created and the jagged points only cut me more. But even through the sounds of my own pain and my pants ripping to shreds even further, I heard creaks coming from the tie Heero was standing on. The added weight of my own body as he tried to lift me was putting unbearable strain on the equally rotten board. "Heero, stop. Stop."
He let go of me and the creaking stopped.
"Oh fuck, I got myself into a butt load of trouble now, haven't I?" I muttered.
Heero paid me no heed, he was inspecting the situation, his face deeply thoughtful as he tried to summon a solution. He grabbed one side with his hands, they immediately started to bleed as the sharp edges cut into them. He tried to break it but he couldn't exert enough power, it only splintered and bend slightly. When he removed his hands they were completely red and the blood trailed down his arm.
"Lean to your left." He ordered and without a second thought I obeyed. As soon as I was out of the way and slammed his foot down on the side of the tie to my right.
I felt it move, prodding and cutting my skin, but his plan might work, so I forced myself to keep quiet. Heero slammed his heel down on the wood again, which started to splinter and break at the edges. I held onto the steel track tightly, prepared for the side to give out. With my hands clamped around the cold steel, I detected faint vibrations through the pads of my fingers and my palms. The track was vibrating, ever so slightly, but it seemed to be getting stronger.
My heart dropped.
"Heero?"
Heero didn't listening to me, tirelessly working on the rotten, but annoyingly strong wood.
I looked at his face which was illuminated far brighter than the moon, even at it's fullest and brightest, was able to and the light hitting his face only seemed to become whiter and stronger.
"Heero?" I asked again. "The track is vibrating..."
He looked at me sharply, annoyed with me for breaking his concentration. In the light I saw a sheen of sweat on his face. All of a sudden, it seemed like the same conclusion was dawning on him. He slowly moved his head and directed his eyes past me, over my head. His face remained impassive but his eyes widened slightly.
"Fuck!" I exclaimed as I saw my suspicion confirmed in his blue orbs. I twisted my head around to look over my shoulder and saw a single, bright light - the headlight of a freight train - in the distance, but approaching fast. Too fast. "Oh shit! Oh shit! That's a fucking train!" I tried to pull myself out again, ignoring the pain, but it was hopeless. I was stuck.
"Move your hands. Move your hands!" Heero practically screamed.
I let go of the track, exposing the wooden tie on both sides.
Heero stepped onto either side, they creaked and moved, slipping away from the bolts that tied them to the tracks. He jumped up and down a little and managed to coax more movement out of the wood.
The tracks were vibrating so hard that I could feel it passing through the tie to my body. "Heero, it's not working! Jump to the other track! It's not working!" I screamed not because I was in pain or afraid of the inevitable, I screamed because the train was getting so close the noise was deafening.
Heero heard me, but he didn't leave me. He kept forcefully applying his weight. Shamefully he didn't have much weight to work with, not even with the added load of the twenty pound hard drive in his backpack.
The train blew it's horn and the sound shook me to the core. "Heero it's not working!" I tried to convince him. Being as outnumbered as we were I couldn't allow two Gundam pilots being killed on such an unspectacular mission. I even tried to push him away but he resisted my halfhearted attempts. He had his bloodied hands on my shoulder to help with his balance as he kept slamming his feet down.
There was a snap, but neither of us would hear it over the roar of the approaching train. I realized we were becoming weightless and my leg was free. In the moment that was caught in slow-motion, I saw Heero's face lit up bright, his whole complexion snow-white and his eyes appeared like the most treasured sapphires. Angelic, that's what I thought, but it was merely the near-death-experience talking.
In freefall, as our heads just cleared the gap between the tracks and flanking railroad ties, I heard the train thundering over us like a stampeding herd of beasts. I prepared myself for the impact with the water's surface, bracing my feet together and crossing my arms in front of my chest. Not only was our timing impeccable, our spacing was as well. Neither one of us got caught by one of the crisscrossing support beams. The fight for survival continued the moment my feet hit the water, it hurt my ankles and knees but I had to start kicking my legs immediately to keep to the surface, struggling with the current that tried to pull me under. We were washed out from under the bridge, along the river. We had no choice but to ride the wave and hope it would lead to an opportunity to escape the water that was hell-bent on drowning us.
Occasionally I caught glimpses of Heero, sometimes heard his gasps above the rushing of the water. He went under more than me, weighted down by the heavy hard drive and impaired by the bulky backpack itself on which the current could get a good grip. I tried swimming towards him, to help unleash the clasps that secured the backpack around his chest, but it was of no use, we were at the mercy of the river's will.
We were carried far away. My legs and arms were burning, as were my lungs. The ravine started to get more shallow till finally narrow shores appeared on either side with only slight slopes heading back into the forest. The current calmed down as well. With the last of my strength I paddled towards the side, like Heero. When my feet first felt the sandy bottom of the river I was relieved but it was quickly washed away as I lost my footing and was dragged down river a few more yards. With a few more strokes I was close enough to the river banks to dig my heels into the sandy bottom and from there on crawled out of the water, collapsing as soon as my hands touched dried soil.
A few meters back Heero was catching his breath, sitting in the sand on all fours, his backpack still with him. He unleashed the clasp in front of his chest and shook the dead weight off his shoulders. He sat back on his heels, I could see his chest heaving with pants. Then I noticed he was looking at me.
Effortfully I raised my hand I gave him the thumbs-up sign.
Heero got up and walked towards me, dragging the backpack behind him through the sand. "We should get under the trees." He said and then helped me up. He slung one of my arms around his shoulder and I limped along with him into the thick forest. Once we were inside deep enough he sat me down against a tree trunk and kneeled by me. He opened the watertight zippers of his bag and retrieved some supplies that had been kept dry; a roll of gauze, medical tape and a bottle of Povidone-iodine. With the knife that he had strapped around his ankle he cut off what was left of the left trunk of my pants, revealing every hideous, bleeding gash. Using his teeth he tore off some gauze and dried away most of the blood. Then he unscrewed the bottle.
I braced myself.
Instead of delicately applying the bactericide with a cotton swab, he hooked his hand in the hollow of my knee to hold my legs steady and then poured the liquid onto the wounds.
I groaned, my toes curling. "That stings." I gritted.
Heero emptied most the small bottle on my leg, a lot of it spilling along the sides and used the rest to drench his bleeding hands. "You're going to need stitches." He observed, reaching for the gauze again. He wrapped the entire roll tightly around my thigh, tying the ends together roughly. The tight constriction stopped the bleeding.
I groaned again, having been stitched-up by Heero before, I knew I was in for a long, unpleasant night. He did good work, could make even the deepest cut disappear with only minor scarring, but he was dutifully merciless and we had nothing more powerful than an aspirin to help with the pain.
"We need to head back."
I shook my head and patted the dirty ground next to me. "We need to rest first."
He sat down at my side, leaning back against the wide tree trunk.
Luckily it was a hot night, my wet clothes barely drew a shiver out of me. I looked up at the bright stars through the canopy. Shamefully aware of how happy I was to be alive. A little uncomfortable knowing I had Heero to thank. Uncomfortable because lately I had treated him as abrasively as he treated me. Never knowing there was a person under that facade that cared and was willing to risk his life for me. What he did was stupid. He risked bringing a good end to the war to save one life. I was grateful nevertheless, even though that was selfish. "So," I started and I faced him with a grin - my strength in my weaknesses -, "Are you just suicidal or are you in love with me?"
He frowned.
"Come on man! It was mere luck that that board gave out when it did. We could have both died just now. You must've had a damn good reason."
"But we didn't die." He stated.
"No, but we could have."
His frown deepened. "It seems highly inefficient and time-consuming to consider all possibilities after the fact."
I chuckled. "Fine. Whatever. Just one thing though." I turned my head to look at him and Heero seemed to purposefully look away. With a stretching smirk I teased: "I know you're not suicidal..."
I realize not much new happened in this chapter. I hope to update again soon :)