A/N: Ooookay, folks. Keep your Kleenex handy… Just a friendly warning from your favorite evil writer. ;)

Chapter Soundtrack:

I'm In Here, Sia (Piano/Vocal Version)

Like You, Evanescence

Lullaby, Sia

Chapter 25 - Utamáil sa Dorchadas Bhfianaise a Aimsiú (Fumbling in Darkness to Find Light)

"You and I wear the dangerous looseness of doom and find it becoming.

Life, for eternal us, is now; and now is much too busy being a little more than everything to seem anything, catastrophic included."

– ee cummings

Aurora leaned on her elbow, chin resting in her hand, and tried in vain to pay attention to the many citizens and courtiers requesting favors and aid.

Their voices were like the buzzing of bees to her ears – she was hearing them, but not the words. Next to her, the deep timbre of Maleficent's voice answered their requests.

She looked over the assembled mass of people come to see them today, but she didn't see individuals. Her eyes glazed over to view it as a blur of colors. It was the beginning of a headache, she knew – one of many that had plagued her since the horrible days of Nollaig.[1] Yuletide had come and gone without much merriment, though the peasants did indeed try. They'd searched the Highlands for holly bushes and mistletoe to cheer their Queens and Princesses, but the greenery had soon died in the presence of such sadness.

Maleficent scowled as she tossed the dead things into the fireplace in small fits. Aurora sat upon her fireside chair, head leaning away from the sight. Isobel and Luna laid on their bellies, playing Nine Men's Morris on their wooden board, hair drawn like curtains as their foreheads touched.

Now Feabhra,[2] Maleficent had tried to coax Aurora from her shell of depression. She'd bring cuttings of the early blooming roses from their greenhouse and lay them upon Aurora's pillow for the Queen to see as she awoke late in the mornings. 'Meet me in our place,' the buds and petals begged. Aurora had tossed each and every one to the floor, and gone back underneath her coverlets until her handmaidens would insist she arise to eat lunch.

Today, Maleficent had pulled Aurora forcibly from the bed after she'd skipped luncheon. She'd dressed the Queen herself, glaring all the while.

"You do not enjoy my tokens?" she sniped curtly. Aurora shrugged; turning away from the tall faery once the last stay had been tightened quite hastily on her corset. It should have hurt, her breasts spilling over and her lungs wondering where all their air had gone… but she didn't care.

"Your Majesty… Aurora?" Maleficent's voice broke through her daydream. "Do you think that two bronze sceatts[3] per ten head of livestock is well enough for the farmers to replace their herds?" Teal eyes burned with annoyance as they met hers. Maleficent knew she'd not been listening.

"Oh, yes. Yes, of course. Whatever you think is best, Maleficent." Aurora responded loud enough for all to hear. Tearing her eyes away from the sulky faery that was her mate, Aurora stood and faced the crowd. "I bid you all good day, I am feeling in need of a lay down."

Aurora heard the telltale noise of feathers bristling and becoming erect with displeasure behind her, but she didn't look back as she stepped down the dais. Turning as she felt light hands on the crook of her elbow, she spied Isobel's worried face.

"I'll take you, Lady Mother," she whispered, and pulled Aurora close to her. They exited the throne room and slowly made their way up the stairs. Upon reaching the bedchamber, Isobel began to make quick work of her mama's dress, humming in disapproval.

"Mama, your stays were much too tight today. No wonder you're all dwaibly."[4] Isobel tutted, finally lifting the offending overdress from Aurora over her head. Not saying anything in reply, Aurora reached out and pulled her daughter to her in a tight embrace.

"I'm sorry, Bel. I know you'd much rather be with your friends and Luna downstairs. I can take care of myself now," the Queen murmured.

Swaying gently with her mama in the embrace, Isobel's eyes began to water. "Not as much as I'd like to hop in bed with you. I've missed you, and Mother doesn't like it when we try to sleep in during the day. She's trying to get us to not be sad, I know… But sometimes I just want to sleep the day away."

Sniffing and suddenly alert, Aurora peered into her daughter's eyes. "Well then! Let's be naughty together! I can rest my head and you can burrow with me."

Soon enough, they were under the sheets and blankets, giggling as Aurora tickled Isobel's sides. "Listen to us, Mama. We sound like a bunch of hens gone mad!"

Aurora pinched Bel's hip a bit to make her daughter yelp in delight. Without thinking, she blurted out what came unbidden to her mind and heart. "Well, as Sola would say when the court girls would chase her 'round… Hauld yer' wheesht[5], you mad hens!" Suddenly, their laughter was silent. Trying to regain the moment of gaiety, Aurora fumbled. "She would… She always said… Oh, the girls don't like me, Ma.'"

Tears rolled over the edge of Isobel's sharp cheekbones, and she wiped them away quickly. The moment of happiness had been brief, and painful. She shoved it away, along with the aching that had accompanied the mention of Sola's name. Once her heart was empty again, she sighed. The days since Sola's burial had been so very dark for her – some mornings she felt so angry at her loneliness and despair that she wanted to burn it out with a hot knife. Throwing things helped, but the handmaids shook their heads at that. Sleeping in helped, but Mother had put a quick end to that for both her and Luna. Now, she scribbled furiously in an empty book that Mother had given her what seemed to be an eternity ago. Dark spells, evil hexes… the more nefarious, the better. Her face would light up with a malicious smile when she wrote down her hatred for those who had killed her sister.

The same odd smile crept to her face again, and her mama noticed. Eyebrows knit together in confusion and unhappiness, and the Queen wiped at Isobel's lips. "Don't make that face, Isobel Yvaine. It frightens me."

"What face, Mama?" Isobel cheeked innocently.

"That face, your Mother used to… Never mind." Aurora stammered. With a hefty sigh, she snuggled her daughter close to her chest and threw the blankets over them, effectively blocking out the light.

Maleficent walked the greenhouse after a long day of receiving citizens and courtiers without Aurora's assistance, and rolled her shoulders to release the tension of having sat on her wings for the better part of a day. The courtiers were feasting on their supper now, but she had left the great hall for solitude, nodding to Luna on her way out. Luna had nodded back in understanding, lifting her chin regally before leaning forward to entertain the assembled people. Her daughter was good; she had to admit – Luna was well taught all of her life to be a Princess.

Over the years, the metal and glassblower guilds had added on more and more to this masterpiece that could hardly be called a mere greenhouse any longer. Maleficent was sure that by the time she and Aurora ventured into the sunset to allow their daughters or grandchildren to take over that the size would rival the remainder of the castle itself. Greenery here bloomed verdant even in the dead of winter, and it brought joy to her heart that she'd previously only known in the Moors.

The Moors – that would be a feat unto itself to repair and coax back into life. She'd visited it on Imbolc[6] to begin the process, but little could be done until the weather warmed a bit more. Luna had expressed her interest in helping closer to Bealtaine, and Maleficent would be glad for the help from the daughter that had the green touch like her.

Slipping her shoes off by a stone bench, she wriggled her long toes into the grass and earth and groaned in relief. Maleficent loathed foot coverings of any kind, but she couldn't very well receive Aurora's people with naked toes these days and beg ignorance. The seamstresses and wardrobe had tolerated it for a few years, but over time they'd begun to tuck shoes or boots where she'd find them for the day as a gentle hint that humans liked shoes.

Ducking into the trees, she sought Diaval. Whistling low and loud, her tune to call him echoed over the sound of the man-made stream that ran through this section of the greenhouse, bringing fresh water to the ponds. Arching her ears forward, she listened for his reply, but found none. What she did hear was a small, feminine gasp, sniffling, and a whimper of fear.

Frowning, Maleficent pushed on towards the noise. In the center of the large copse of oaks, the grass was downy soft with hundreds of daisies blooming. Underneath some of the older growth trees that a recent expansion had come up around there crouched a girl of middling teen age. Her raven black hair was straight and long, and eyes a piercing blue, like the skies in winter. She had obviously been crying, Maleficent surmised from the dried trails of them on her cheeks and the ruddy shade of her face. In her lap lay a chain of the daisies, which she promptly tried to hide between the folds of her skirt. There was a niggling in the back of her mind about the girl, that she should recall her very particular face.

"Y-Your Majesty, I am so sorry…" she stuttered, beginning to rise.

"No, don't get up," Maleficent responded, curious about the little sprite she'd found. Pushing at a shoulder to entice the girl to sit once more, she crossed her legs and wings with a flourish and sat gently down to peer at the human. "I feel as if I should remember you, child. Do my eyes deceive me?"

"Oh, oh me?" the young lady looked anywhere but in Maleficent's eyes, trembling slightly. "I'm just Caitriona, daughter of Dúngal mac Selbaig, of Ulstead. I suppose you might remember me…I used to play with your daughter. Daughters. Yes, daughters."

"Why do you weep, child? Do you grieve the loss of someone from the battle?" Leaning forward, she took the young woman's hand between her own, brushing the skirt surreptitiously to reveal the chain of daisies again.

"I-uh, yes. My… friend, from when I was a babe until I left this kingdom. We've just moved to Ulstead six seasons[7] or so ago… when my father inherited his House," Caitriona replied, evasive and nervous.

Keeping her face placid, Maleficent tried another tactic to get the girl to relax and open up. "Do you know what daisies mean to the Fae?"

Caitriona didn't respond so much as peer down at the daisy chain, fingering the soft white petals like they were the richest, most precious possession she had. Smiling gently underneath her closed lips, Maleficent plucked another bloom from the soft grass and twirled it near the girl's view between her fingertips. "The fairy poet takes a sheet of moonbeam, silver white; his ink is dew from daisies sweet, his pen a point of light. My love, I know is fairer far than his, though she indeed be fair. We should dwell where fairies are, for I could praise her there.[8]The daisy represents a woman's womb, fertility; the sun, round with warmth and its blessings. That's why some call it the Day's Eye," she recited her knowledge.

"I made the chain as a remembrance. I miss and love them so," Caitriona nodded, whispering ever so lightly.

Nudging the girl's chin up with the edge of her hand, Maleficent searched her eyes. "Did you truly love them? Life is not worth living without sorrow to show us what true love really is," she stated.

Smiling lightly at the game she knew the faery Queen was playing, Caitriona sighed. "Yes, I'd like to think I truly loved them. D'you really believe that, Majesty?"

Looking slightly offended, Maleficent's tone was playfully mocking, "I do not say anything I do not mean, Caitriona mac Selbaig. And yes, I believe it… most days." She tucked the daisy she'd been toying with behind the girl's ear, where it shone against the dark hair like a beacon of light. "Take your daisy chain with you, I give you permission." Jerking her chin towards the pathway, Maleficent gave the girl her wordless dismissal.

"Oh, thank you Majesty!" Caitriona yelped, and leaned forward with wide-open arms to embrace the faery before catching herself. Standing quickly, she curtsied with awkwardness. "I bid you good evening, my Queen."

Sitting in the small grove afterwards, Maleficent's heart began to heal. Picking another daisy, she twirled it again through her fingers and kissed the center. Shaking her head with a wry half-smile, she spoke to the flower. "You might have hid it well, Sola you stubborn thing, but it was good to find that you knew some love."

It was late hours by the time Maleficent stood over her bed, smirking at Isobel and Aurora curled up under blankets. They'd slept clear through supper, judging by the still-covered trays resting on the table. With a sigh, she peeled back the covers and slid her arms under Bel's wings and torso, lifting the girl from her mama's embrace.

Isobel mumbled, and her eyes fluttered, but she didn't awake fully. Ever so slowly, Maleficent walked down the hallway, ignoring the pointed smiles of the handmaids and guards that probably saw motherly weakness in her actions. By the tenth smile, she scowled and hissed, widening her eyes dangerously. That maid scurried away. Maleficent smiled, then.

Quickly, she tucked Bel into bed with Luna, who was snoring lightly. Sitting a few minutes on the edge of the girls' bed, her eyes drank in their beauty beneath the moonlight streaming through the windows. Closing her eyes, she sent a silent prayer of thanks to the Goddess for gifting their spirits to her and Aurora. They were certainly children no longer – faeries matured much more quickly than humans, and Luna and Isobel's cheekbones had begun to loose the rounded chubbiness underneath. All too soon, their bodies would turn womanly, and appealing. Soon, so very soon, her roses would bloom. It set her on edge, and she wished to rewind the years to go back to the fateful day that she'd lost Luna on the Moors. She would have found her, somehow. They would have lived in peace. Sola would still be here… 'Oh, Sola,' she thought dismally, and rose from the bed to glide back out of the room.

Walking back to her bedchamber was much quicker, as she didn't need to be quiet now. As she walked back into her room, she quickly shrugged out of her robes and unwound her hair. Crawling into bed with Aurora, she examined her mate's stress-wrinkled brow and lips turned down at the edges. Maleficent reached forward to lightly smooth the brow, and cupped Aurora's cheek. "'Rora? Darling, I'm here," she murmured.

A huff came from the Queen's lips, and Maleficent kissed the edge of them softly.

In her dreams, Aurora was squinting her eyes against a summer sun. "Hello?" she called. Her voice carried through the tall grasses and trees, and birds chirped happily from them.

A face peeked upside down from a large Rowan nearest the edge of the forest. "Um, hello?" the face called back.

Walking towards the tree, Aurora felt as if her feet were deep in mud. She was tiring easily, slogging forward to land on her knees.

The person scrambled from the tree, but did not approach. It was a young woman with blazing red hair, dressed in a white funerary gown. She lifted her hand up in greeting, but looked very confused. "Who're you?" she called across the clearing.

Aurora began to sob and cry, crawling towards the tree that seemed to be so very far away. "Sola! Sola, don't you know me? It's Mama!" she screamed, as the grasses began to grow, partially obscuring her view of her treasured baby girl.

A voice echoed the field, resonating so deeply the flowers trembled and the birds quieted. The air shimmered with energy from the non-corporeal entity. "Sola, come to me. Come to me… Aurora?"

"No, please! Don't take her away. I just saw her!" the Queen hollered, clawing at the grasses.

"Aurora, you must go," the voice was undeterred, and firm.

"No! No, you go! I won't leave her!" The ground opened up to swallow her, and Aurora squealed in fear as she realized she was falling into a grave, much like the burning mound near the Moors.

"Aurora!"

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.

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"Aurora!"

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.

.

"AURORA!" Maleficent shouted, shaking her mate awake from the nightmare.

Flying out of bed, the petite blonde was heaving. She wretched into the night basket in the corner, her wings drooping and shuddering. Maleficent tiptoed behind her, resting a light hand and petting it along the humerus of Aurora's left wing.

Once finished divesting herself of whatever resided in her stomach, the Queen shrugged her wing away from Maleficent's gentle touch. Aurora stood quickly, throwing on a wool gown over her night shift.

Trying not to move too quickly or offend the half-awake woman, Maleficent tried to unlace the gown and lift it back off. "No, mo chroí. Where are you going in such a state? It's not even dawn yet."

Aurora's sapphire eyes were wild as she backed away from Maleficent's grasp. She tugged on the gown's side laces again. "I just… I need to fly. I'll be back later," she sputtered. Stepping onto the balcony, she leapt downwards without preparing herself, gliding to a bad landing with an 'Oof!' in the inner bailey yard.

Maleficent stood with her hand over her face for a moment, and took a deep breath while palming her forehead in consternation. Throwing a night-robe around herself, she flapped down to where Aurora angrily was hitting her own wings, which in turn were batting back.

"Awful, stubborn, hateful things! Why ever don't you do what I want?" Aurora screeched at the auburn and copper pence feather appendages that prickled with amusement at their owner.

Unable to contain her own laughter, Maleficent reached over to Aurora and pet the wings again. "They are still considered new to you, and you to them. The girls and I have tried to tell you countless times – you must become friends with your wings, trust them. Otherwise, they don't trust you. If I had any clue of why they're being disobedient right now, it's because you're probably up to no good. Wings will always protect their owner."

Miffed at being laughed at, Aurora fixed Maleficent with a glare. "I need to fly to the Moors. Why wouldn't they behave for that? Besides, you did all sorts of bad things when you were younger and…" Aurora's voice died, and she gulped.

"And I walked there to do it," Maleficent finished, her face frowning.

"I just need to sit with her a while, Malle. I… I dreamt of her," Aurora whispered.

Nodding silently to hide the wounded quality her voice would certainly have at the moment, the horned woman unhitched a horse that had been saddled for the morning couriers and town criers. Handing Aurora the reins, Maleficent stared out the castle gateway.

"How do you stand it?" Aurora wondered aloud, fierceness in her tone.

Maleficent gulped deeply, and her eyes watered before turning to face her mate. "Because, I have you. I would be there for you, but you wish me to leave you alone in your grief. So, here I will stay." There was no disguising the hurt in her voice, and Aurora winced.

Reaching out to cup a sharp cheekbone after leaping onto the horse, Aurora's heart broke at the sight of Maleficent's defeat at not knowing what to do to help her. "I am sorry, my love…" she mumbled.

Rejecting her apology, Maleficent turned around. "Well, go then!" her voice cracked with tears unseen.

The shout startled the horse, and Aurora did not stop the animal from galloping from the castle, through the town and into the countryside.

[1] Nollaig – December

[2] Feabhra - February

[3] sceatts – bronze or silver coinage commonly used in early Medieval Scotland, entering society when trade was established with Norse peoples.

[4] Dwaibly – weak, shaky, depressed

[5] Hauld yer wheesht – Be quiet!

[6] Imbolc or Imbolg (pronounced i-Molk or i-Molg) also called (Saint) Brighid's Day is a Gaelic festival marking the beginning of spring. Most commonly it is held on the 1st of February, or about halfway between the winter solstice and the spring equinox.

[7] Six seasons – 1 ½ years.

[8] 'In Fairyland,' by Joyce Kilmer