Thanksgiving Edition

Ataraxia Praeteritum, Perdidit Futurum

Chapter 25: Eastward

I was relieved, today Cyborg would finally allow me to take off the arm brace. It had been two weeks and the medical care coupled with Ravens healing abilities I should be fine. Since Cyborg was leaving for the Titans East tower in a couple of hours he decided it was best to check before the left

I was quickly learning the identities of all the team. Cyborg, for example, was the big brother, caring for everyone and anything associated with the team, including me.

Starfire was the proverbial cheerleader, the naive girl who only wanted to help and being a super powered alien seemed to fit quite nicely.

Robin was the leader, a fearless one at that. The well-crafted posture, the stone cold expression, unmatched in terms of combat, all of these crafted by a mentor. If he really was the Robin then I would hate to know how he got through being teamed up with that person. The secrets he holds have to be a burden, I couldn't think of anyone else who held such a burden

Raven, well, she was the shut in and a healer. She cared for the others that was for certain, she wouldn't put up with them otherwise. Other than me she didn't have a problem with any of them, except for Beast Boy.

Then there was Beast Boy, he seemed to have a place, the jester, someone who cemented the team, someone who cracked jokes and reminded them that being a teenager and having fun was still a thing, but he also had another side to him something only I had seen.

The comforter.

And something I truly didn't know how to describe. For me whenever I see him I get the feeling someone would get after being saved from drowning and seeing their rescuer, perhaps that was what it was, he was the rescuer.

Then there was me, was there really a place for me? What was I? Could I ever…

"Yo, anyone there!" Cyborg shouted into my ear.

Instantly I jumped and nearly fell off the medical bed.

Looked up Cyborg was putting away a needle.

"When I told you to think about anything else I didn't mean THAT deep in thought."

Ahhh needles never liked a fan of them.

Grabbing a tablet Cyborg flipped through it a few times before smiling.

"Yea, you can take that thing off now."

I smiled and began undoing the straps with my unrestricted arm. "Though I need to see the impact point again."

Sighing I turned around and pulled up my sleeve, Cyborg poked and prodded at it a few times before giving up.

I had seen it in the mirror a day before and I could say I would never be able to wear swimsuits comfortably anymore.

It was a large circular scar that had jagged edges that jutted out like lightning bolt. I smiled as I turned around and stretched out for the first time in weeks.

"Now don't go smiling like that, you're not going to be doing any heavy lifting in the next week, you have to let it heal if I catch you I'm going to put it back on, got it?" Cyborg said, like a mother braiding her child.

I waved the now freed arm dismissively, got up, and quickly left the room.

Heading outside I walked towards the shore. More specifically the rock Beast Boy and I had sat on, where I had confessed about my powers, it seemed like such a long time ago. I squinted as I could make out a figure sitting there, at first he was hard to make out but when I was closer I could easily distinguish him.

Nearing him I examined the view today, it was wonderful the clear bay, the blue sky, it was so perfect.

Ω¥¥Ω

Everything was so wrong.

The clean air, the cool breeze, the shining city. They didn't belong.

I had sitting there for about half-hour, just staring off into the distance. The last time I had seen this city it was ruined, burned to a crisp, and I truly hadn't stopped to look over it again in its magnificence.

I watched with enhanced vision as a group of school children walked to the shore side. A few teachers surrounded them as their guardians while a rope connected each of them to each other as they held on.

They had finally come to an observation deck where they all took out binoculars that their parents probably gave them at home, or they paid a few cents to look through a mounted optic.

So full of innocence, so full of life.

Suddenly something latched onto my shoulder, instinctually I grabbed on and threw it over me into the water.

A high pitched shriek echoed and I blinked a few times, before realizing that a certain blonde was now swimming in front of me.

"EXCUSE ME!" she yelled as she brought herself back up onto shore.

I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly, reflexes, they developed with demand, and it just so happens that I didn't like being snuck up on.

As she sat down next to me she started to ring out her hair.

"Mind explaining that to me?" She asked in a rather annoyed voice.

I just gave a fake week grin, "Robin trained me well."

She rolled her eyes and sighed "Well, I guess I might be able to dry out here."

I finally began to relax again and started to stare out into the bay once again, so did Terra, but peace and quiet never last long, especially with the Titans.

Clearing her throat awkward she looked at me, "Sooo, Beast Boy, I was wondering if maybe…." she started, but trailed off.

I looked over at her with a raised eyebrow was she seriously doing what I thought she was doing?

"Well, maybe you don't, but maybe it would be nice if…."

She was doing what I thought she was.

"Maybe it would be nice if we went out sometime, got pizza ya know, a movie."

I mentally just threw my head in my hands, was I not clear on this subject before? Had I not spelled it out for her last time.

"And Cyborg just took off the sling, so I'm 100% now, I can do just about anything!" she said with a smile.

I took a deep breath, this was going to be painful, not nearly as hard on me as on her.

"Terra, have you ever been in a relationship, like a real serious relationship?"

For a moment she paused, and then shook her head. I in turned reclined back, readying myself for this.

"People think it's great, and for a time it is, at first both people want nothing more than for it to last forever," I started.

"But then you have to put in more effort to keep it feeling that way, and it's a two-way street, both people have to give and give, and if they give more and more, equally eventually it blossoms into something wonderful.

Then again…. if one person lags behind, or stops giving, BOOM it's gone. And some people can't recover from that, they can't be the same. Terra, you are, talented, funny, extremely beautiful, but I can't be with you." I finished.

Terra threw up her hands, something seemingly finally broken "And why not? Why? You keep saying that, but I don't hear any actual answers, just 'no Terra' or 'I can't'!" she said.

I shook my head "Terra, it's something I can't do. I've been there, I've given and given before in two relationships and I'm not ready to do it again."

Terra instantly calmed down and looked at me this time with a confused face "You've… loved before?" she asked incredibly.

I smiled sadly and looked away out into the bay. "Yea, it was a long time ago, I gave everything I could and it still didn't work, true love is a fairytale, I learned that the hard way, instead, love is about compromise and sacrifice, and I'm not ready to give again just yet."

For a moment she was quiet and I looked back over at her, she tilted her head so that her golden hair ran like a liquid golden waterfall off the side of her head.

"I am"

Then she started to lean in, closer and closer, feet to inches, millimeter by millimeter until she was less than an inch away.

It was like Greek Sirens calling, but I didn't move, she had stopped, eyes closed, waiting for me to lean in and finish it, but I couldn't, how could I?

Why did she want me so bad, what had I given her? Redemption, that was easy, I couldn't give her anything she needed, I couldn't give anyone what they needed. Not even the last woman I loved.

For a few moments she was there, waiting for a kiss that would never materialize, and she finally opened her eyes, but I was gone, back to the tower, back to my solitude.

Ω¥¥Ω

I watched as Cyborg loaded his luggage onto the T-Ship, hours of prep time had left him tired and looking forward to the trip on autopilot.

The entire team had walked in to say goodbye and I hoped that he would come back, as this timeline had changed, maybe he would stay and leave us forever.

Just as he was getting to me Terra walked in with a suitcase. "Cyborg, I want to go to Steel City."

Everyone just looked at each other, where had this come from? In the back of my mind, I connected it with that had happened earlier, but that was surely paranoia. Right?

For a moment everyone looked at each other, confusion written on each face.

"Um, Terra, I don't think that you'll really be..."

"What, useful?" She interrupted "I still have my powers, besides you wouldn't want me being here unsupervised, I could be doing all sorts of things."

For a moment Cyborg just frowned, backed into a corner he reluctantly shook his head

"Alright, throw your stuff in the back, but you get the right pod." He said with an annoyed tone as she passed him.

It was well known that the right pod had the worst seat, luckily it was mine, but Cyborg always had an excuse for not fixing it. It was likely his punishment seat.

As Terra threw her things in Cyborg climbed up. Coming over to us she began to say her goodbyes.

She hugged Starfire, shook hands with Robin and assured she would be useful in to the team out east and that she would be back in no time.

What worried me was the fact that she didn't even so much as look at me. This was because of me, perhaps she just needed time.

As the T-Ship shot off over Jump I kept repeating that in my mind, all she needed was time.

So that's why you're gonna hate me. Beast Boy needs some time off so we're heading east!

SHOUTOUTS!

The Dimensional Reader- HA HA HA HA, that's a great joke because no one's getting any stress release… funny you mentioned Trigon….

Adrinsane- So what if she was, what would she had understood or even comprehended 0.o

Vin- I think you forget that Beast Boys Christian, and while future events may have shaken that belief well, there will be none of that.

Azarath Cat- *Smiles sheepishly* So, well, yeah… look on the bright side, Terra got rejected.

So something to read while you decompress from relatives, happy Thanksgiving. P.S. this is also something you can read for Cyber Monday.