Cherry is leaving me for a sexy man at the train station and Mia knows a hobo. *gasp* What if it's the same guy?

Readers- I was going to update at midnight tonight, but people started to crush cupcakes in retaliation. It's all fun and games until my desserts get hurt.

Chapter Twenty-Five: Pedestals and Pushes

I feel like the home Mama and I once shared: empty and lifeless. My eyes are windows that are shut off to the world, and my shoulders sag like worn wood, hanging limply at my side.

There isn't a point anymore; no point in trying when the world's going to knock you down, again and again.

Hope stopped visiting long ago.

"Dimples…" Cadillac. It's like I hear him, but I don't. I know he's talking, but somehow these trees whizzing by seem more important. Like if I don't count every one I'll have to start back at the beginning.

I hear Jack though. He's good to me. Whispering when Heidi yells, soothing me when everyone else gossips. I miss everything about him and how he made me feel.

I can't remember a single reason why I ever left him behind.

In my peripheral, I see a cigarette light up and I feel a hand on my leg. I don't want it there. I want whiskey that tastes like strength and bourbon that tastes like courage.

"Dimples!" My head turns, but I don't see him. I don't hear him pleading and begging for a life that doesn't exist. "Don't do this, Dimples. Stop shaking, baby bird. You're all right. You can do this. Remember how far you've come. We're almost home, okay? We're almost there."

I wish he would stop. Stop putting me on a pedestal and worshipping an angel disguised as a demon. Stop pretending that I'm strong when my heart is fragile and weak.

He drives around a corner and I don't know if it's right or left, up or down. All I know is that this road is a bumpy one, and no matter how long I'm on this journey I won't ever see the end.

Pain is like that–it goes on forever and ever. Vast and infinite, it never ceases. It just keeps hurting, scorching me to my core.

Fuck life. Let me burn.

.

.

.

Vodka.

"Look at me, Dimples."

Johnny Walker.

"I know you're in there. Baby, please…"

Warm beer.

"Don't do this. I love you, all right? I love you and I'm here."

Bacardi.

"Baby bird, you're scaring me. Say something. Anything."

I love them all.

"Bella."

I turn my head slightly on a soft pillow, but Cadillac is closer than he appears. He stares at me with love I don't deserve, affection I cannot tolerate. Green eyes gaze down at me, filled with agony I want to take away, but can't because I'm too lost in myself.

His fingers sweep across my cheek, wiping tears that won't stop falling.

"Dimples, what did I tell you? It's you and me, baby." Cadillac pulls me closer to him; so close I feel his breathe across my skin. "It's you and me versus them. Us against the world. Heidi's a jealous bitch, wanting what she'll never have."

I kept him occupied while you were gone, Drunkie.

Some things are better than wine…

I flinch at the memory of her words. I imagine them touching and kissing, and her taking the only thing in my world that makes all of this worth it.

"She said…" I finally attempt to speak, but my bottom lip quivers and I taste my tears. "She said ya'll … that you two…"

His eyes turn a jaded hue. "And you believe her?"

I didn't.

After tonight, I do.

"Fuck, Dimples, you think I would do that to you? That I could?" He lingers over me, brushing back the curls that have fallen. "Nobody owns me but you."

I try to convince myself that it's true, that Heidi is a liar, but I savor her words like they're sweet. They're the only things she's ever given me. Jealousy doesn't cause what she did tonight. That was revenge, a spiteful hatred that must have spurred from somewhere.

"I was gone for so long…"

I give him excuses, reasons for a betrayal that doesn't exist. We weren't together, but that doesn't ease my pain. It increases it, making me ache until I'm numb.

"Don't you dare." He speaks with bitterness, malice I've only heard him use with others. "Don't you let her get in your head when I'm begging to stay in your heart."

"You are there," I murmur, and he wipes another tear with the pad of his thumb.

"Then stop running," he begs, tenderly touching my baby hairs. "Stop running from me. From them. From everybody. Stay strong."

"I can't," I whisper, falling into his embrace. "I can't. All I do is drink and run. Run and drink. I want to forget."

"Then let me take it away."

Cadillac rolls his body halfway on mine, kissing my neck, the secret spot behind my ear, and the crevice just below my jaw.

"You won't remember a thing." His fingers tangle in my curls, removing two bobby pins that get tossed onto the floor. His nails scrape across my scalp, rough and delicate all at once. He's lying. He can't take all my baggage away. It lurks, unwanted and unclaimed.

"I'll erase all the bad." Cadillac forces me to look into his eyes as his hands wrap around me and he unzips my dress. The sparkle is gone, and they're just gems that hold no value. But Cadillac doesn't let me feel this. He takes my hands in his own, kissing each finger like they're valuable.

I'm nothing.

"Give you everything that's good." Our mouths collide, but they don't battle. They mold, gently sucking, but with desperation that makes me feel insane. He slides my dress off, pushing it onto the floor with his foot. Brushing against my nipple, he rubs until it hardens for him.

Always for him.

"My love's a gift, Dimples." It's always been him. Him with his greens and his colors and his touches that make me soar. Him with words that only make sense in our alternate universe.

"I'll lavish you with it." My skin tingles as I push his arms away to pull off his shirt. It flies somewhere, but I hope it never comes back. I wish I could always see him like this.

He' all smooth skin and hardened abs that I can call my own. My hands tremble, but I find a way to remove his jeans and boxers. He breathes into my mouth and I feel him harden against me.

"Exchange all the hurt." I grasp at his back, beckoning him for more–more touches, more kisses, and more love. More of this that most people don't get and aren't lucky enough to receive.

"Return all the pain." Cadillac obliges my silent requests. He slides. Kiss. Down. Kiss. His lips glide over my belly button and onto my center, where he parts me with his tongue.

He torments me with whispers of 'baby bird' and kisses my right thigh. There's jealousy, but he gives it two and then kisses the other. He nibbles on my skin, little bites that cause my skin to redden. I pant, roughly grabbing his hair and guiding him where I need him.

"You'll be rich, Dimples." Cadillac flicks my clit with his tongue. My hands grasp the comforter, twisting it impatiently. I turn my head to the side, unable to gasp for air, but I breathe it anyways.

"You'll want for nothin'." I become desperate and I pull at his hair, not caring if it causes him pain. Two kisses, one stroke of his tongue. I burn inside, scorching to temperatures no man should ever feel. I give in to his words, escaping pain and heat and misery to surrender for something more. He clutches my hips, diving in.

I'm unashamed of the sounds that escape me, the curses of his name that linger on my lips. This is all that matters now, him tasting me like the sweetest of desserts. I cry out as an orgasm rips through me, making my mid-section release the agony I've contained for so long.

"You won't need for anything." I barely hear his whispers as he slides up my body to kiss me again. I taste myself on his mouth, and it only makes me want him more. His touches are everything to me, warm and soft, hot and rough.

I can't think straight when he settles his erection directly between my thighs. Cadillac gazes at me, but it's not in lust like most people would think. It's total devotion and I want to give to him what no one else has.

He doesn't have to tell me he loves me, not in a moment like this. I know. I see it in his eyes, and for the first time, I see what he is.

My sun.

He rises and shines.

I'm nervous and I tremble as he hitches my leg around him. I'm not naïve; I know this is going to hurt like hell.

Sometimes the pain is worth the joy.

He rests his forehead against mine as we breathe the same air.

I'm ready for this. There are no decisions to make, no choices to debate. I am his and his alone.

I writher around him as his cock presses against me, and I can feel his heart beating as fast as mine. My lips reach up to kiss his, anything to distract myself as he pushes inside of me.

Damn it, it burns. I was expecting pain, but it's the burning that causes me to cry out. He pulls out, but I shake my head at his retreat.

Come back. I can handle this. Come back.

My toes dig into the soft comforter, and I grasp at his skin, pulling him back to me. I squeeze my eyes shut as he pushes.

He pushes and I cry.

I cry and he pushes.

He rips me apart and puts me back together again.

It's not as I thought it would be.

It's everything that I wish.

He's in me, filling up this empty soul, giving me something to replace the nothing. A tear escapes and I know he wants to pull out again, but I won't let him.

I whimper, silently begging. Stay. Stay. Stay.

"I love you." He mouths it against my lips, and though there is no sound, I hear every word. I hear the love. I see it in the sweat above his brow, and feel it in the heart that beats for me.

I find it impossible not to clench my legs shut, but he pushes them open wider, opening them up as he slides back one slow, agonizing time. I don't know why I feel so hot, why the temperature has risen in such a short amount of time. But in this dim light, if he moves away an inch, I'll freeze.

He kisses me again, with an open mouth. His bottom lip glistens, highlighting the stubble on his jaw. He's never been so beautiful, so reckless and controlled. Cadillac entangles our fingers together, holding me still as he pushes past the brink of my childhood.

It's all there.

Upside-down pineapple cakes.

Bikes without training wheels.

Snakes hidden in the deepest of gardens.

But this is not that. This is all consuming, fear-rushing, spine-crushing love.

He's right. It erases it all.

His hands steady me as he creates a deliberate friction, skin sliding against skin. The burning continues, but it lessens with every whisper from his lips.

With every thrust of himself.

With every kiss that possesses me.

I try to breathe again, soaking in this moment. I'm the alcoholic, but he's the one that's drunk. His face is flushed, as if he's intoxicated with me.

"You're my treasure, baby bird." The pressure is too much as he glides easier, back and forth, back and forth. I feel feverish from the heat that's building, from the intensity that we share. We'll never go back to the way we were after this.

I don't want to.

"You're worth more than gold." The stinging pain subsides and is replaced by the familiar-pleasure. His strong hand holds me under my knee as I rock with him. I know I'm soaring, flying and imagining shades of greens that I can't see. I quiver as he hits … something … and it makes me moan out loud. Cadillac notices the change and pushes deeper.

Faster.

We rock against each other as a bead of sweat drips down my nose. I don't care. I'd bathe myself in him if I could. I feel complete as my body accepts him. I dare to look down, watching his hardened cock drive in and out.

In and out.

"You're jewels that don't exist." I whimper at his words and he speeds his motions. The headboard bangs against the wall and creates a rhythm only we can hear.

And it's beautiful.

I clutch his arms, begging for more. He doesn't hold back. He never has. I try to breathe as he speeds up, giving me everything I've ever wanted. His eyes turn wild, an animalistic nature driven deep within him. He breathing becomes erratic, and I fear I'm taking his breath with every pound.

He gives and I take.

I take and I take and I take.

I fly and float near my sun.

"Dimples…" My name is broken into spurts as he thrusts so hard my head presses into the pillow against the headboard. He shudders, coming inside me as his eyes close shut.

"You're precious." He kisses me between moans and touches and strokes and sighs.

I wait two heartbeats as he collapses beside me, cuddling me under his chin. Neither one of us dares to move as he whispers near my ear, "That is one thing you should never forget."