*Author's note* It finally occured to me I might need to start writing disclaimers. Although it's pretty obvious, I do not own Death Note. (I do own my OCs. Not that anyone would try to steal them. But still.)

Oh, and little warning: I have no idea what effect this chapter might have on you, but you might want to fetch some tissues before digging in to it. Better safe than sorry, right?

Alright, school starts tommorow, so that means less writing time, but I promise to do my best. Reviews will help a lot (so review, please. I know you are reading this, fanfiction tells me when you add it to your story alert list, you know).

HUGE thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially WeirdGothGirl, who reviewed almost every chapter- THANK YOUU! (you could all learn little something from her, hehehe).

'Kay, that is all I wanted to say. Stay amazing!- BBT

"We are leaving America in two days." Matt said, dreamily caressing my forearm. We were in the same position for hours now, telling each other about the past six years. Since Matt already knew pretty much everything I've done (he had stalked me the entire time, you know) he had the word most of the time, while I remained in my dreamy haze, head resting on his chest, enjoying his warmth.

"Huh?" I looked up. "Where are you going?"

"Japan."

"Oh, right. That's where Kira is." I nodded, before suddenly stiffing. That's where Kira is. "What are you going to do?"

"Mello has a plan. He wouldn't appreciate me sharing it." He noticed my glare. "Nothing dangerous, I promise."
"Yeah. 'Cause we know how safe and rational Mello's actions are." I noted bitterly.

"Alexx..."

"Don't make me run to bathroom again. I won't come out this time."

Chuckle. "Alexx."
"Or even better, I should lock you inside."

"I'll jump out of the window."
"You'll kill yourself." I bit my lip. "But then again, that is what you two are planning to do anyway, so..."

"Alexx." Matt sat up, turning me to face him. "Don't you trust me?"

My first instict was to cheekily rise my chin and spit out a negative answer, but then I caught a glimpse of his eyes. Same deep blue shade, lightening towards the middle, locking our gazes together, as if he could see into my soul. And I knew I couldn't be cheeky while looking at them. He wanted an honest, serious answer. This wasn't a time to be a tease.

"I do." I looked down on my hands, and he immidiately pulled my chin up, locking our gazes again (damn it. This would be so much easier if he had goggles on). "I trust you."

He narrowed his head, studying my face. "But..."

With a deep breath, I grabbed his hands. "I trust you to the right thing. I trust you to trust him completely. I trust you to do whatever you or him find neccesary."

Matt nodded, sad smile creeping over his lips as he caught up with me. Realised I caught up with them.

"I trust you to do anything that is in your power to protect Mello. Me. World, even. I trust you to do whatever it takes to stop Kira.

I trust you to do anything for the greater cause.

Die even.

And I believe..." My eyes started to tear up. "I believe you will die. And I believe you know it already."

A small nod. "I do."

I could hardly gauge his face, wave of tears almost blinding me. Blinking didn't help at this point.

"Why?" I managed to utter. His hand freed from my grip and rose to my face, wiping a tear away.

"I don't have much of a choice."

"You do!" I pulled away from him, wiping the rest of tears in fury. "Of course you do! There is an other way! There has to be!"

Matt stared at me, faint smile still on his lips.

"We are the top of Wammy's House." I whispered, leaning closer to him. "If we can't do this, who can?"

"Do you have any idea how many people die each day because of Kira?" Matt asked. "If my death can stop him, it's worth it."

"But-"

"To come up with something, it would take us a few more days. Few more days, hundred more lives. We can't afford to waste any more time."
"You don't have to die." Stupid tears filled my eyes again. "Why would you have to die?"

"Alexx-"

"What is wrong with Mello?" Fury took over again. "How- how can he let you die?"

"He is delusional." Matt shrugged. "He believes I'll make it. Now please, just calm-"

"You promised me!" I cut him off, completely unable to control even the tiniest emotion. "You- you promised not to do anything stupid!"

"That's why I'm here." Matt said, grabbing my hands and pulling my closer. "To keep my promise. I told you, back then, that you'll see my face again, and here I am."

My breathing heavy, I stared at him, tears rolling down my face. "N-no..."

"I promised to take care of myself, to stay alive, not to do anything stupid." He kept on talking, his eyes now tearing up too. "I kept all those promises."

No. No, no, no...

"But now," Matt took a deep breath, struggling to keep his composure. "It is over with them."

"Matt-" I gasped.

"I can no longer keep them." He said, his lips trembling. "This is the last time you see my face."

I shook my head in denial, biting my lip so hard I could taste blood.

"If you will ever see me again..." Matt had to stop to breathe. "It is very unlikely I'll be alive."

"No."

"Yes."

We stared at each other in painful silence, his eyes slightly red, mine filled with tears that just wouldn't stop flowing.

"I'm sorry." He murmured. I nodded, trying to remember how to talk, breathe, anything, without falling completely appart.

"I...I know." I managed to utter.

"You have every right to be upset."

"Damn right...I do." I managed to let out a hoarse chuckle. "You fucking idiot."
"You have every right to hate me, too." He smiled weakily, pressing his lips together, trying not to cry.

"Yeah, that too." I nodded.

"But you don't."

"Of course I don't. You really are an idiot." With a loud sob, I threw myself at him, burying my face in his chest. "I love you. You know that."

"I love you too." He uttered, kissing the top of her head. Single tear rolled down his cheek, onto her hair. Cussing to himself, he tried to stop more tears from falling. Unsuccesfully.

Well, fuck. This would be much easier if you just wrote her an e-mail.

She'd kill me. He thought. I had to keep my promise.

He knew he would be a mess when this moment came. He did hope he wouldn't cry, but, hell. He had put up a good fight.

"W-when do you leave?" Alexx whispered, looking up at him, her eyes swollen. And yet, she's still the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

"I have to be back in L.A. in two days." He answered, stroking her hair. "I don't need to leave until then."

She nodded, odd look in her eyes. "I'm going with you."
Whoa, whoa. "What?"

"I'm coming to Japan with you." She said firmly. "Try to stop me and I'll get Near on both of your suicidal asses."

"Alexx."

"Matt."

"Listen to me, Mail Jeevas." She sat up, now able to look down at him. "If you are about to go on a suicidal mission, I'll be there."

"No. It's too dangerous." Matt shook his head. "If you get hurt...I won't be able to forgive myself."

"Are you stupid?" She screamed. "You'll be dead, of course you won't be able to forgive yourself!"

Matt pulled back a bit. "So, someone doesn't believe in afterlife..."

"How can you be so selfish?" She cut him off. "You'll die for a greater cause, story over. And I? I'll be stuck here, alone, with this shitty fake-ass life I'm leading and bunch of cases to solve."

He blinked, completely taken aback. "I thought this is what you wanted."

"I wanted a real life, yeah. One I can actually live." Tears filled her eyes again. "And I don't feel alive when you're not here."

Glaring at her, Matt bit his lip. "Oh."

"Even if you stop me from coming to Japan..." She said, looking down. "Once dead, you won't be able to keep me alive."

"Alexx, don't-"

"I'll do it. Why not?" She laughed, sounding exactly like Mello in his worst stages. "That is the problem with us, Wammy's kids. We had everything taken away from us. I remember how lost I was when I first arrived. And I made it. You know how?"

Matt glared at her, unable to move his lips.

"I grabbed onto everything in sight, relying on it to keep me alive, to get me through the day. New school. New people. 'Look, the kid has white hair.' 'Female haircut wants to kill me, how funny.'"

Matt nodded. He understod.

"Then I met you. And you were so... strong." She closed her eyes. "You kept me going. You made me invincible. You made me strong like you, strong enough to go through the day. You are the strongest person I've ever known, you know? Both me and Mello were hanging onto you, and you still managed to walk through life like nothing's wrong."

"I...I had to." He furrowed his brow. "I had...you two."

"And how would it feel," She asked, her voice trembling with tears. "If both of us died?"

Matt stiffened. It wasn't too hard to picture it- it was his only fear, after all. Mello not coming home from one of his missions. Reading about Alexandra Wammy's death in the newspapers. So easy to happen. "It'd be...crushing."

"I have only you, Matt." She muttered. "If you die, I'll die too."

Matt nodded. "I don't want you to die."

"I don't want you to die."

"But what about X?" Matt asked, grabbing onto the last hope. "What about Alexandra Wammy? What about your pictures, your agent?"

"X was never alive. We'll leave anonymus detective work to Near, alright?" She shrugged. "And you know that paintings become so much more valuable after the artist dies. I'll be doing Jill a favour."

"Please, Alexx." Matt whined, desperate. "Don't kill yourself."

"Why? You're doing it."

"Don't- don't make me carry your death on my soul. Please."

"When did you become so religious?"

"Alexx." Matt sighed. "Charlie."

"Mail." She glared at him, her eyes determined.

"You can have such a fantastic life. For both of us."

"But I can't. " Her voice was barely a whisper. "My family is gone. Charlie is gone. You'll be gone. And there'll be nothing for me to hold on to."

"You'll meet someone." Matt managed to utter. "And you'll forget you ever felt like this."

There was a silence for a few moments.

"Honestly, Matt. You really think I am that kind of person?"

"I wish you were." Matt smiled.

More silence. Her eyes distant. His whole body trembling.

"Here's the deal." She finally spoke up. "You'll tell me your plan."

Matt narrowed his eyes, wondering where this is going.

"We have two more days before you need to go." She said. "Meaning I have two more days to think of a way for you to survive while still delivering the same results.

If I fail, you'll go to Japan, and I promise not to kill myself."
Matt felt as if a giant stone fell of his heart. "Yes. Yes. I agree."

"However, if I manage to think of something, and convince Mello it's better than the original plan- which I will, trust me- you'll do as I say."
"Okay. Whatever." She'll live. "But the new plan will be completely safe for you."

"Of course." Alexx smiled at him. "I just threatened to commit suicide just because I was affraid I'll loose you."

Leaning in, she pressed a fast kiss on his lips. "I would never make you feel that."