Chapter 25

"What's in it?"

"A goodbye to us in case he won't make it, but he will."

Nobody said another word. Hannibal took Face's hand again but got no reaction. They sat, or in Murdock's case laid, there for hours. Evening came and Face hadn't stirred. Over the night they all drifted off. The next morning Hannibal woke from a sensation he felt at his hand. He looked and saw the tiniest movement from Face's hand.

"Face…can you hear me, kid?"

Hannibal's words were enough to stir Murdock and B.A. who stretched themselves awake.

"What's up, man?" B.A. asked.

Murdock took off his cap and smoothed back his hair. "How's Face?"

Hannibal smiled. "He moved…I saw his hand move."

The three men stared intently at Face searching for any other signs of movement…of life…but there was nothing except for the shallow rise and fall of his chest.

They took turns sitting by Face's side and talking to him as the doctor said he might be able to hear and it could help. They tried to speak about lighthearted and normal topics; things were heavy enough without them having to voice it.

Murdock went first. "Guess what, Faceguy. Billy's learned some new tricks."

The pilot went on and on about the imaginary dog until B.A. had enough and decided he better step in before he did something he might regret.

"Hey, Faceman. I been thinkin'…when we get home I'm gonna do some work under the hood of your 'Vette. Bet I can make her sound just like a kitten by the time I'm through."

And when Hannibal decided he couldn't listen to any more car or mechanical talk he took over.

"I've been thinking a lot about my next movie. Maybe it's time for me to hang up my scales and move past the Aquamaniac."

Hannibal had gone back to holding Face's hand as he spoke. About thirty minutes into his soliloquy, he felt it again…a slight squeeze in his palm.

"Face?"

There was another squeeze.

"That's it, kid!" Hannibal enthused causing Murdock and B.A. to come back to the bedside.

Face's eyes fluttered open just long enough for him to mumble, "Decker…want Decker. Need Decker," and then he was out again.

Hannibal physically recoiled as if he had been slugged. They were here doing all they could but he asked for Decker of all people. Had he really felt left behind in the hospital? But he must know that there was no way the team could have been with him.

"Should I get him?"

"No."

"But he's asking for him."

Hannibal sighed. "If Decker comes here Murdock has to hide and I don't think that's what Face wants."

"You think it's still about that note?"

"I don't know Murdock, maybe."

"I'll go get it."

While BA returned to the van the other too continued talking to Face. It went on like this for the rest of the day without Face stirring again but just as they wanted to take turns sleeping on the floor Hannibal felt another light squeeze to the hand he was holding.

"Face, come on Face, wake up."

Another squeeze, this one accompanied by a moan.

"Come on buddy, you slept enough."

Face's eyes fluttered but didn't really open. "Decker?"

"You want Decker or the note?"

This time the eyes opened a fraction but there was no live in it. "Have it?", he croaked out.

"Yes we got it, BA has…."

"I took it from Decker and had it for a moment but then he snatched it back and swallowed it down and is refusing to tell us what was in it, only that you dictated it for him. Sorry Faceman, didn't mean to lose it but you'll have to dictate whatever it was again."

The eyes closed again and they thought he had gone back to sleep when Face spoke again, this time with his eyes closed. "So tired."

"I know kid, I know. You can rest, just try to stay awake a few minutes more each time you wake up."

"Hurts so."

"I'm sorry kid, you'll get better, promised."

This time Face didn't speak again but had gone back to sleep.

"BA, what did you do that for? You know how important that note is to Face and then you go tell him it's lost."

"Gut reaction. This note is his goodbye to us. Do you want him to say goodbye or you want him to stay with us?"

"I told you not to say that."

"No Murdock, BA has a good point here and I think it was a wise decision. Face was so fixed on that note, it is something very important for him, he doesn't want to die before he has said a proper goodbye to all his friends. Now that he knows the note doesn't exist again he has a reason to hold on and get well enough to say his goodbyes, and once he's that much better we'll help him over the rest."

"I still don't like it. We shouldn't lie to Face like that," Murdock sulked.

Hannibal put a hand on Murdock's shoulder. "It's only until we get him back with us captain." In a softer voice he added, "we need him to come back to us."

It hit Hannibal suddenly as he uttered those words; the idea of a life without Face was too much. They had come close to losing him before, but never this close. Mortality was a hard pill to swallow…until this very day some part of him thought that they were all invincible.

Murdock felt Hannibal's hand begin to shake from where it was rested on his shoulder. "You okay, colonel?"

Hannibal 's stomach started twisting into knots and he felt sick. Clasping a hand over his mouth he fled from the room.

"What in the…" B.A. wondered.

"Should we go after him?"

B.A. shook his head causing his gold to rattle slightly. "Nah…give him a minute."

Hannibal needed more than a minute. He made a beeline for the bathroom and was violently sick. It was purely nerves and emotions taking their toll.

Decker heard the sounds of somebody throwing up from right above his room. 'Yuck,' he thought. But then he heard somebody crying. It wasn't just somebody; it sounded like Hannibal.

He knew he shouldn't care, but he found himself feeling sorry for the man who had once been considered a friend. And now despite their differences he had no doubt that John Smith loved his men…especially Peck…as his own children.

Decker worked his way to the top of the staircase. He heard footsteps walk by the door. Before he could pull it back he found himself calling out, "Smith?"

Hannibal stopped in his tracks when he heard Decker's voice. Should he answer? Every fiber of his being said 'no', but still he walked to the door and said, "yeah?"

He was surprised to hear a genuine sounding "How is he?"

"He'll be fine." The answer came out more acidic than he had intended.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" He couldn't possibly be sorry for the fact that Face would be fine again? Hannibal caught himself noticing that he didn't think very clearly right then.

"For what I said, I know you couldn't have come there and that you care for your men."

"Well, I can be with him now." Hannibal walked away without waiting for an answer. This was Decker after all and Decker was his enemy. The more information he had about them the easier his hunt would be in future. Besides he wasn't used to friendly talking to Decker anymore and he wanted to be with Face. The kid had reacted to his talking, twice. No telling how he would react to his not being there. He quickened his step and was back at Face's side within the minute.

Face slept through the rest of the night without any of the others getting much sleep. In the morning they continued their pattern of talking to him. The doctor checked on him regularly and Hannibal got worried as he noticed the checks were becoming more frequent. When he came again Murdock was talking to Face so Hannibal followed him out the door when he was done.

"Doc, what's going on?"

"Nothing much yet, why?"

"He's getting worse, is he? How are his chances?"

"Why do you think he's getting worse?" The doctor looked somewhat puzzled.

"You're checking on him more often than before."

"Oh, sorry, maybe I should have talked more but I also didn't want to get your hopes up before we have any sure results. I check on him more often because I hope to see some more reaction from him. His vitals slightly improved, I think he's finally getting the rest his body so desperately needs and your talking to him shows effect too. I only hoped he would have shown more awareness by now than the little he did yesterday."

"You mean he's getting better?" Hannibal could have kissed the man right then.

"As I said I don't want to get your hopes up too much. He's still very weak and the improvement is tiny, but it is there. Keep talking to him and keep up the physical contact, he seems to crave it."

"Thanks doc."

"Don't thank me, I didn't do anything, I'm only monitoring. Call me when you see another sign of waking up from him."

"I will." Hannibal's hopes were up now, up in the sky to be exact, and he wasted no time to tell the others.

"You hear that Facey? You'll be fine in no time, trust me."

BA huffed from the other side of the bed, "Trust a crazy fool like you? He ain't that sick."

"Face? Face? Buddy, can you hear me?"

The other two were out of their seats in a flash. "What's it Murdock?"

"I swear I felt him moving his fingers, it was there, I'm sure."

They all watched but for the moment the movement had ceased.

A while later Hannibal took over from Murdock hoping to get another reaction from Face but nothing happened. He talked and stroked the back of Face's hand but Face didn't move again.

"Get some rest colonel, let me sit with him now."

"Just some minutes more BA."

"Come on man, you're tired, you need a break, 'sides it's my turn."

"Okay." Hannibal gave the hand he was holding a last careful squeeze before starting to pull away, but just as he was about to lose contact Face's fingers weakly closed around his.

"Face? Can you hear me kid? I won't let go if you don't want to. I'm here for you kid, come on open your eyes for me."

Face had felt like dying but Decker had swallowed the note and he couldn't go before telling his friends how much they had meant to him. Damn Decker, he had played the concerned only to betray his last wish. It hurt like hell to just lay there and he so wanted the pain to end but now he couldn't just let it end. He had heard voices for a while without being able to make out the words and just recently he had started feeling a hand stroking over his. It felt so good to have that contact and he didn't want to lose it but then the hand pulled away. He tried to hold on but moving his fingers hurt so damn much. He was sure he must be crying but at least the feeling was back.

BA made a dash for the door to call the doctor before returning. Hannibal had gone back to holding Face's hand and stroking over it but he didn't move again.

"Just like before, one tiny movement and that's it, but this time he closed his fingers around mine for a second, it wasn't just a twitching. Come on Face, weak up. We need you, I need you."

Face felt just pain, the voices were still there but more faint now. Anytime he tried to move the pain would become so much that it drowned out the voices.

"No, he's not sleeping deep right now, his vitals have changed. Try for more physical contact, all of you, and talk to him."

Murdock climbed back on the bed and BA rubbed the thigh of his non broken leg while Hannibal continued to rub small circles over the back of his hand.

"Come on kid, wake up, look at us, we all need you."

The bed dipped and he cried out in pain, or at least he thought he cried out. Why did every little movement hurt so much? But then he felt something warm by his side and it felt like heaven. Murdock, that could only be Murdock. And there was some sensation at his leg, BA, that must be BA. They were all here for him. The voices grew louder and louder but still there were no words. He concentrated on the warmth next to him and then he heard it 'need you, we all need you kid.'

They saw the eyelids flutter and talked all at a time to get Face's attention.

"m'here." It was just a whisper and barely audible but it had been there, it wasn't their imagination.

"Yes kid, you're here with us where you belong. Come on, look at us."

"Hurts so, stop."

"Don't cha worry Faceman, the pain will stop, you'll get stronger and then it will stop, promised."

"No…won't…please let me go," he begged weakly.

"Let you go where, muchacho?"

"Can't take it…let me…say goodbye."

Hannibal felt sick again. "You don't mean that, kid."

Face forced his eyes to try and focus on the colonel. "Tired…too tired."

The doctor who had been standing in the corner of the room eyeing the machines looked concerned. Face's pressure was dropping while his heart rate was skyrocketing. He decided to give the lieutenant another minute before he would have to step in.

Hannibal was eye-to-eye with Face. "I know you're tired, but you have to fight."

"Been…fighting…whole life. No more."

They knew that Face's childhood in the orphanage had been hard; not so much from what he had told them but from the way he would dodge questions and the pained expression on his face.

Face was trembling and they could literally see his heart pounding in his chest. But still he kept talking. "Need to…tell you…tell you all…what you mean…"

Murdock put his hands over his ears and began to rock slightly. "No…no…no."

But Face wasn't deterred. "Need tell…what…was in…note."

The doctor stepped forward; he couldn't in good conscious allow this to continue. He didn't know if his patient would make it or not, but he did know that if his vitals got any worse it didn't look favorable. It was also a possibility that it was the pain that was causing his physical and mental stress. There was no way to know for sure, but he had to do something. "That's enough talking for now. You need your rest."

"No…only reason here now…was to say…good-bye."

B.A. pulled Murdock into a hug sensing that the smaller man was about to fall apart completely.

Face shut his eyes, but from the tension in his body they knew he was still with them. Hannibal pulled the doctor aside and looked at the doctor with fear in his eyes. "He's worse?" he whispered.

The physician nodded. "He's getting too worked up. I suggest if you have whatever note it is that he is talking about that you produce it so he can calm down. He's suffering so much that his thoughts are being controlled by the pain.

"Are you saying that he can make it?"

"There are no guarantees, but if I was a betting man I'd say that he just needs reassurance that you all know whatever it is he wants you to know before he can allow himself to truly relax. He thinks that will mean death…but seeing what he has done this far, I think he's stronger than that."

Hannibal was torn on so many levels. On one hand if he produced the note Face would know they had lied to him and might also give up any fight that he had left in him. But, on the other hand, this conversation was taking too big a toll on his system. Was he really on death's door, or was he just in so much agony that he thought he was? He looked to B.A. who had his arms still wrapped around Murdock; both men had their eyes glued on Face. It was up to him to make a decision.

Hannibal looked upward and said a silent prayer that he would do the right thing. It must have been divine intervention when something crashed through the window causing all the occupants of the room to duck for cover. All but Face whose eyes flew open to see a grenade beside him on the bed.

"Grenade…Han'bal…help."

Hannibal was closest but they all reacted at the same time and crashed into each other as Hannibal picked up the grenade and prepared to throw it back out only to stop last minute.

Face looked at him with panic, "Han'bal, please,…don't wanna die." The adrenalin kicking in had helped clear his mind a little and allowed him to think past the pain.

"Relax kid, it's just a stone that was painted like a grenade, see."

He held the painted stone into Face's line of vision. At the same moment they heard a yell from outside. "Timmy, what have you done again?" Followed by a child's voice "But I'm just playing soldier."

They didn't pay any attention to Timmy and his mother again. Face had his eyes closed again but the trembling told them he was still around and the adrenalin rush was leaving his body.

Hannibal took his hand again. He was going to go with the old story up until Face said he doesn't want to die. "Kid, I know you hurt bad now but you just need to allow your body to rest, we're all here with you. While you were sleeping earlier on I went back to Decker wanting to find out what was in your note and he relented and produced it. What he had swallowed was a dummy note. He too wants you to get better. He told me you dictated the note to be handed over in case you die and he'll keep it for now, but it is there should the worst case happen. Now just relax, Decker wants to hand the note back to you and we too don't want to receive a goodbye note, we would rather see you get better every day, you hear kid?"

"It's there?"

"Yeah it's there and now rest, we need you kid, we all need you."

Face sighed and then his eyes closed and his body went limp.

"No!" Murdock was at Face's side an instant wanting to shake him but BA caught him from behind last second.

"Leave me, Face, no. Face."