Chapter 25
Phone Calls

AN: SOO MANY REVIEWS!! YAY!!!!!!!!! OK, so you voted, and we have a tie- 16-16! Wow, thanks for the help guys! Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what to do!! OK, I'm going to go with who I think will work better, so I think I should go with Jacob. His sarcastic mind will work better. I hope. I did count any one that said it should be both as 1 to each.

Sooooo sorry for the delay, but it's summer vacation so I'm free!!!! Woot woot!!! This is actually the first time I've logged on in six days! Any who… here is chapter 25!
Don't own Twilight.

Jacob POV

I cannot believe Alice was making me work with Edward. I don't mind him so much, but why couldn't she have put me with Ness? Bella could've gone with Edward and Nessie and I could've made phone calls. We both would've been much better off. I hated being away from Nessie; she was my girlfriend, my whole life, my--

"Please stop thinking about her that way." Edward said looking at the list of names. Crap, I forgot that he could read minds. He sighed.

"OK, what are we doing?" I asked. I totally wasn't paying attention when Alice was talking.

"You are holding the page of instructions." Edward responded nodding towards the paper in my hands. I looked down; oh, I guess I was. Edward rolled his eyes. I read over the page, and then looked up.

"I'm done!" I told him and put down the paper.

"I know." He muttered, rolling his eyes again. Geez, he did that a lot! He rolled his eyes again. I rolled my eyes too just to annoy him. "Let's start calling people." He handed me a small black cell phone and placed the list sideways in the middle. He dialed the first phone number, talked for a few minutes, then hung up. He scratched the first name of the list with a thin black pen.

"Are you going to help me or do I have to do this by myself?" He said dialing a new number. He repeated what he did before, and crossed off another name. Hmm, I should let him do it by himself. I could go off and play games or go home. I could use a nice, hot bubble bath. Plus, Embry bought me a cowboy rubber ducky last weekend!

"Where the hell did that come from?" Edward said, scrutinizing my face. I shrugged, and he rolled his eyes again. "No, I will not do this by myself. Even though Alice can't see you, I will tell her that you ditched me to take a bath with a cowboy ducky. And if you have learned anything these past few years, it's never to mess with Alice's plans."

Eeep, he was right. Alice did not take lightly when her plans were altered. She used her visions to plan out her entire day. She had even figured out how to see around Nessie and me. Isn't that just a useful way to use your time?

"Exactly." Edward nodded. Gosh, does he have to hear every single thought in my mind?! "Well, maybe if you stopped shouting them I would be able to block you out!"

"Well, that's not my problem!" I shouted back. I really didn't want to make phone calls to a bunch of strangers. I mean some of them could be strange! Edward rolled his eyes again.

"Start calling people. Everyone else will be home in a couple hours, and we need to be finished by the time they get home." He dialed another number, talked again, and then crossed off one more name. There were two sides to the list; he already had five names done. He threw me a stern look before dialing another number. I looked down at my list. The first name was Thomas Lewinkos. Wow, weird last name. I dialed the number.

Hello? Thomas had a deep, strong voice.

"Hey, this is Jacob Black on behalf of Miss. Angela Webber." Alice had given us a script of exactly what to say.

Yo! What's up, man?! Why would this guy be invited?

"Nothing, I am calling to formally invite you to the inauguration and celebration. Because of time restraints, invitations were unable to be sent out." Who wrote this script? It was so freaking formal!

"Hey dude! No worries! I don't need some fancy written letter. I'm so there!"

"OK, cool. How many will you be bringing along with you?"

"You know Alice Cullen?" Edward looked up at me when he mentioned Alice.

"Yeah."

"Then tell Alice that Tommy is totally in the house. She knows my deats." Whatever.

"Alright. Well, have a nice day and we will see you Sunday night." This script sucks!

"Kay. Peace out dog". HEY! I AM NOT A DOG! I'M A WOLF! Edward rolled his eyes. I hung up the phone. Aw, boo hoo; Eddie looked annoyed.

"MY NAME IS NOT EDDIE!" He shouted.

"But Edward is so twentieth century! And like some big old city name!"

"Well, duh!" He shouted back rolling his eyes.

"Huh? I'm confused." What did the twentieth century have to with some obvious answer?

"Jacob Black, where and when was I born?" He asked. I had no idea so I got creative.

"Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away?!" I said with a huge smile. Edward put his face in his hands and shook his head back and forth.

"No, you stupid dog." We heard Bent growl from the couch. "No, you stupid wolf. I was born in Chicago in 1901."

"And your point would be?" I had no idea where he was trying to lead me.

"I was born in the twentieth century, in a big city." He said the words slowly. Oh! Everything just clicked. Edward rolled his eyes again and dialed another phone number. He chatted with the person for a really long time, and then hung up.

"Wow, that was a really long conversation. Who was it?"

"Nessie." He said with a grin.

"WHAT?! WHY DIDN'T YOU LET ME TALK TO HER?"

"You never asked!" Edward said with a smug grin. I growled at him.

We both looked out the window as we saw Mimi running up the porch. We had given Amira the nickname Mimi, since she wasn't actually going to be a princess. We discovered that her parents were royal puppies- pets of a king a queen- but that the country had disintegrated into joining a much larger country. Mimi's paws were all covered in mud- she looked like she had brown boots on her white paws. She came running across the porch, into the house, over Esme's white carpet, and leaped onto the table. I tried to get her off, but she was too quick. She stepped onto the white lists, walked around on them, and then lay down on top of them.

"MIMI!" Edward screamed, lifting her carefully off the papers. He handed her to me. "Go clean her off; I'm going to try and fix these papers." He picked up the now speckled papers and began wiping them off with a paper towel. I ran up stairs and filled a bucket with water and soap. I dipped her paws carefully into each one. The mud came right off; her fur was shiny and white again! I combed through her fur to make sure the wet fur wouldn't knot. I brought her back downstairs and set her down next to Bentley. I walked back over to the table where Edward was wiping the mud off the table. He had already cleaned the floor.

"How bad is it?" I asked.

"Not too bad; the mud on the floor, porch, and table came right off. I was able to get most of it off of the papers but some set before I could wipe it off." He tossed the now brown paper towels into a bag, ran to the kitchen, and was back before I could blink. I examined the papers; his side only had mud on the names he already did, so he wouldn't have a problem. The mud on my side was right smack in the middle of the list; some of the names were almost impossible to read.

"Damn it, some of the names are completely covered!" I ranted to Edward.

"Jeez, calm down. We can figure them out." He rolled his eyes yet again as he sat down at the table.

"OK." We both dialed another number, talked, and hung up. I crossed that name off my list, and then looked down at the next one.

"This one is completely covered, but I think it says Claire." Why would Claire be invited? She doesn't even know Angela, plus Quil isn't invited.

"That definitely says Charlie." Edward told me dialing another number. He was almost done with his whole entire list! And I only had four done!

"It says Claire!" I screamed.

"It says Charlie!" He screamed back.

"Claire!"

"Charlie!"

"Claire!"

"Charlie!"

"Claire!"

"Fine! Call Claire and invite her! Just see what Alice says when she comes home! If you screw it up, it'll be all your fault!" Edward screamed getting up from the table.

"Where are you going?" I yelled after him. He was headed up the stairs and I wasn't going to do this by myself!

"I'm finished with my list! Have fun!" He called back down in a sinister voice, followed by an evil laugh. Dang, he was so evil. Edward let out another evil laugh. I picked up the phone and dialed Claire's number.

"Hello?" Quil answered.

"Wow, Quil answered Claire's phone. Shocker."

"Oh, hey Jake! What's up?"

"Nothing much, just wondering if you and Claire wanted to come to this party the Cullens are having on Sunday."

"Yeah, we are totally there."

"QWIL!!!!! It tea pawty time!!!" Claire screamed. "Who on phone, Qwil?"

"Jacob." Quil said away from the phone.

"GIMME!!" Claire shrieked. "UNCA JAY!" She screamed after Quil had passed the phone off.

"Hey, Claire. What are you and Quil up to today?"

"Tea Pawty!! Wanna come?"

"Sorry Claire, I'm kinda busy today." I did not want to endure the torture of having to watch Claire dress up Quil as a girl. Actually, that could be quite hilarious.

"Kay, Jake. Bye!" She slammed the phone onto the receiver. I'm sure Quil was going to have a blast playing dress up.

As I was snapping the cell phone shut, Rosalie and Alice walked back in, followed by Esme and Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper, and finally Bella and Nessie. Edward bolted down the stairs and rushed to Bella's side. I stood up to go to Nessie's side.

"Did you guys finish?" Alice asked, placing her shopping bags on the floor. Her and Rosalie combined to have about thirty bags.

"I did." Edward said, the sinister tone back in his voice. Everyone turned to look at me.

"Nope, I didn't finish. I just finished calling Claire." I said crossing her name off the list.

"Claire? Why did you call Claire? She wasn't on the list." Alice said.

"Yeah, right here." I picked up the list and brought it to her. I pointed to Claire's name. Alice looked where I pointed, then her face grew furious.

"You stupid mutt! That says Charlie!" Alice shrieked, her hands balling up into fists.

"HA!!" Edward screamed jumping up and down.

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