Man have I been swamped. Seriously, I am so glad it is nearly spring break. I want to apologize here and now for taking so long to get this out. And that after so much time of not posting this chapter is really uneventful. The next one should be better.

Congratulations to Oni-at-heart for being my 600th reviewer! I'm really loving writing your one shot! Sorry it's taking so long but my estimated final page count for it is 20 pages and I'm about 15 in so... that's why.

And omg, I have two pieces of fanart~ Thank you so much, so awesome!

Russia frowns as he slowly stirs from sleep. Something heavy is on him and it's making him too warm. He tries to shove it away impatiently and there is a muffled groan. His eyelids flutter open at the unexpected sound. America is half on top of him, sprawled helter skelter. Ah that's right, he had tricked America into letting him in his bed. He isn't used to sleeping with someone else.

More lenient towards the overly warm and heavy body on him now that he is awake, Russia wraps his arms around America. With a smirk he pulls him closer and leans down, kissing his cheek softly. America mutters something as he starts to stir. Russia kisses him again lightly on the lips.

America suddenly frowns. "Mm, no.... No morning kisses 'til we brush our teeth, 'kay?"

Russia's eyebrows raise in surprise at the statement and he begins to giggle furiously. America frowns and starts to sit up sleepily. "'s so funny...?"

He rubs his eyes and looks at Russia. And then he stares. His whole face goes brick red and he rears back. "Oh... god fucking damn it!"

Russia grabs him and pulls him closer. "Good morning to you too, sunshine."

America glares at him. "Shut up! And how dare you kiss me when I'm defenseless and asleep!"

"Da, not until we brush our teeth right?" He giggles again.

America starts to pull away again. "I didn't realize it was you when I said that!"

Russia frowns slightly and grabs America, flipping him so that he is pinning him against the bed. "And who did you think you were saying that to?"

America gives him a flustered look. "N-no one! I don't know, I wasn't thinking of anyone specifically. I just-"

He shuts up. Why should he have to justify something he said when he was half asleep? "Not that it matters anyway who I thought I was saying it to."

Russia tilts his head. "Oh no...? Hm, I might have to disagree but I suppose I'll let it go for now. However, I think that deserves a punishment."

He tilts America's chin up and presses his thumb in the side of his mouth between his teeth, giving him a kiss that is heavy on the tongue.

A shiver of disgust goes up America's spine and when Russia backs up he coughs, wiping his mouth. "Oh that's so disgusting! Get the fuck off me! I have to brush my teeth now!"

Russia happily obliges, leisurely watching him jump up from the bed and rush to the door. America pauses and returns, narrowing his eyes at Russia. "By the way, did you know that I was afraid of ghosts?"

Russia gives him an innocent look. "How would I know? Besides, you're the one who told me you were Alfred "Fearless" Jones right?"

America scowls at him and hurries onwards to the bathroom. In the light of day he realizes how completely and utterly stupid he must have looked last night. Not to mention he highly suspects that Russia wasn't even vaguely afraid of that movie. He had tricked him!

God he could die of embarrassment. It wouldn't surprise him if someone had told Russia about his fear. Though he's not sure who it would be... Then again his fear of ghosts isn't exactly a secret. Much to his chagrin. Still, he had at least thought it was contained to his circle of friends and family.

Never again! He would never, ever watch a ghost movie with Russia again. That way he couldn't exploit his fear. How unfair... Jerk. Too bad Russia's only weakness seems to be Belarus. Like hell he was going to even attempt to use her to torment the Russian. That would be like playing with explosives attached to like... a shark or something. Covered in needles. And surrounded by ghosts!

America pauses as he puts toothpaste on his toothbrush. Why was he thinking of an explosive shark covered in needles and surrounded by ghosts....? Oh right, Russia.

Damn him! He furiously starts brushing his teeth. Morning-breath kisses are so disgusting.

~.

When America walks through the living room he notices that the title menu is still running from the movie last night. He glares at it. "I blame you for this."

He's embraced from behind. "Talking to inanimate objects, honey?"

America impatiently elbows him. "Shut your face! Don't call me honey! That just sounds dumb."

Russia releases him, rubbing his stomach. "Mm, would you prefer darling or sweetest... or lover?"

"How about none of the above you creep? ...And for pulling such a low trick last night I expect you to make breakfast for me!"

With a giggle Russia pokes America's forehead. "It really is all about food with you isn't it?"

America tosses his head. "Hell no, I'm just going light on you because I can't confirm you purposely were messing with me. I could tell you to do all sorts of things, do you hear me? You should be glad I'm just having you make breakfast as the ever gracious nation I am!"

"Yes, yes, your long winded speech wasn't necessary. I intended to do it... lemon drop."

America smacks him hard. "Don't call me weird things!"

Russia laughs. "Ah, that reminds me, about the name you have for me in your cell phone. Perhaps you could change it to something else? Red just has a rather negative outdated connotation to it."

America sniffs haughtily. "I think it fits you just fine. Besides, what would I change it to instead?"

Russia pauses to consider. "Well... how about 'my gentle snowflake'?"

He smiles cheerfully and America purses his lips, staring at Russia for a long moment. "I don't even know if you're being serious anymore. Look, just go make breakfast already. I'm starving."

Russia winks and heads for the kitchen. "I hope you like blini!"

Quite frankly America has no idea what 'blini' means let alone if he likes it but as long as it's good he doesn't really care. He just hopes it's nothing weird. America takes the stupid ghost movie that made a fool of him out of the DVD player and back in its case. Russia could take these back by himself.

He collapses on the couch and rubs his head. He can't get over how he had acted last night. He knows that is his reaction to ghost stuff and yet he continuously does things like that. Well after all, he couldn't back out. He was the hero. But still... He knows his masochistic relationship with ghost movies bothers Kiku.

Kiku....

Shit, Kiku is coming over tomorrow! Russia plus Japan is just asking for some bad shit to happen. What should he do? There's no way he's telling Japan not to come over just because Russia is currently staying with him. Still, he doesn't want Russia to be there to try and kill Japan. He would just have to get Russia out of the house for a while. But how could he manage that without tipping the Russian off that something is happening?

How did he keep getting in these messes?

While America concocts various plans to convince Russia to leave, most of them are fairly unrealistic and overly optimistic. He collapses sideways on the couch, closing his eyes and trying to think on a more simplistic scale for a while. "I guess I could always say something like 'Oh Ivan, if you really want to prove your love for me you will go on a quest that will take you the next two or three days!' Ha, like I'd ever say that."

"Will breakfast be adequate to prove my devotion?"

America quickly sits up. Russia smiles down at him, head tilted to the side. Face flushing, America stands up. "I- that was... You totally have a misconception of what I just said!"

"Do I...?" He gives him a near smoldering look and brushes his cheek.

Great, now he looks even more stupid. Not only that but Russia probably thinks his dumb plan to make them fall in love is working, which it so isn't!

America dodges him. "Just forget about it. So breakfast is ready? Then I'm going to go eat."

He walks stiffly towards the kitchen. He keeps getting himself into awkward situation after awkward situation. He needs to kick his amazing hero skills into high gear to smooth them all over without getting royally screwed.

Russia follows after him, a mischievous smile still on his lips. He really doesn't know why America had said what he did but it amuses him. Perhaps he is making more progress then he thought. It's hard to know what the stubborn man is thinking at any given moment. Unless of course he blurts it out stupidly. Which perhaps he had just done...? Then again it might have been said mockingly. America can be quite scathing when he wants to be. He doubts America had been particularly serious when he said it.

When America sits at the kitchen table Russia sets down a cup of coffee for him and a plate of the mysterious blini. They look like pancakes. Instead of syrup there is a dollop of sour cream and another dollop of jam off to the side. So was blini the Russian word for 'pancake' or something? That doesn't feel quite right... Oh well, if they look like pancakes they can't be bad.

He spoons jam onto the first blini, spreading it evenly over the surface before taking a bite. Different. Not a pancake like Mattie would make him. Not bad. He ate the rest eagerly enough, trying sour cream on the next one. Interesting, but he definitely prefers the jam. Russia eats his own breakfast, watching America and considering him down to the most minute detail.

America drinks some of the coffee. "Not too shabby Ivan."

Ivan dips his head once. "You are quite welcome. Anything to make my dearest heart happy. I hope they are worthy of showing my dedication."

America is about to tartly retort when his house phone rings. He groans and rubs his forehead. "It always has to be at breakfast doesn't it?"

He hurries towards the phone. "Coming, coming you miserable piece of technology. I'd like to smash you into a thousand little- Hello! This is the United States of America speaking, how may I-"

"Sometimes I question if you have even an ounce of logic in that brain of yours."

Oh damn it. "Er, hey boss. I was going to give you a call today. How's it going?"

America's boss proceeds to tell him exactly how it is going, using some language that America thinks is unnecessarily strong. Apparently Russia's boss had contacted him wanting to know what the United States thought it was up to, stealing their representative. Needless to say his boss isn't particularly happy about his acting so impulsively. And unlike Russia he has no one to jump in and save his ass. Guess it's up to his own self as always.

"Tell him to go home immediately before this causes any more problems!"

America uses his best 'I know exactly what I'm doing' tone. "Look boss, I don't like this any more than you do okay? There are some things going on that has nothing to do with you or Russia's boss or even our countries. It's just between Ivan and me okay? This falls under one of those personal issues that you can't interfere in. Besides, I gave Ivan immunity as a diplomatic refugee."

"You what?" He sounds furious.

"Sorry boss, sorry! You'll just have to trust me on this. Please. I'm asking you to just...trust that I know what I'm doing. It's something I have to do. Hold off Russia's boss however you can, if you can. I promise I'll get this all fixed as soon as I possibly can. I'm awesome, I can do it I swear."

There is a pause and then a heavy sigh. "You do realize you're just adding more fuel to all those rumors about the two of you don't you? I know I said I encouraged your getting closer to Russia but not if it's going to cause problems for us."

"Hey, hey, I always know exactly what I'm talking about! No worries boss. Just give me a little time and everything is going to work itself out and you're going to be like 'Alfred sure knows exactly what he is doing and is one cool guy' and I'll be like 'Yeah I know right?' Then you'll say-"

His boss cuts in. "Fine, fine. But if I think that this is about to escalate out of control you are sending him back and I don't want to hear I single word from you. I give the order, you listen. Got it?"

America salutes. "Yeah! Totally boss. You're so super awesome! Thanks!"

"Stop causing so many problems for everyone. And I mean it. I give the order I expect you to listen to me." That said he hangs up.

Alfred places the receiver back on the hook. "Give it up for Alfred 'Super fantastically amazing' Jones! How am I so cool and suave all at the same time?"

"Your boss? It went well?" Russia stands in the doorway, arms crossed.

Alfred gives him a thumbs up. "Hell yes! Well, not at first. Man my boss can really yell sometimes. But I did a little sweet talking and pacified him for the time being. The guy loves me. Er, well, not romantically. You know what I mean."

Last thing he needs is Russia going psycho on his boss too.

"So, uh, hey Ivan. I was thinking. Maybe tomorrow-"

Russia interrupts him. "About that Alfred. I'm going to be leaving today for a bit. Lithuania agreed to get some things for me from my house and I am going to pick them up. I won't be here to take care of you for a little while. Can I trust you to feed yourself?"

He puts a hand on America's head, who pushes it away impatiently. "You've been here like, two days! I can totally take care of myself just fine, thanks very much."

Then it hits him full on. "Wait, you're leaving? So like, what time do you think you'll be back?"

Russia raises an eyebrow and smirks. "Will you miss me terribly darling? You can always come with me!"

America quickly waves his hand. "No, no, really I'm good."

Russia giggles. "Very well. Well I should be back early afternoon tomorrow and we can do something then."

America laughs a little too loudly and pats him on the shoulder. "Oh, well you know, feel free to take your time! Don't feel rushed on my account."

Russia tilts his head, eyes narrowing a bit. "Are you trying to keep me away Alfred?"

"No! No, don't be silly! I, er... well you know, both our bosses are kind of irritated at the moment so if you're not always here and don't seem like a captive in my house it's good right?"

Russia relaxes, though it doesn't completely shake his suspicion. America is always doing stupid things and trying to hide it. "That's true. Well I have to be going to catch my flight. Sorry this is such short notice. I didn't want you to cry and beg for me to stay for hours. It would be too hard for me to leave if you did."

"As if I would do that!"

Russia pulls out his cellphone and starts hitting some buttons. "Here, if you need to hear my voice just give me a call. What do you want your nickname to be in my phone by the way?"

America leans in and tries to read what the contact info is but it's in Russian. Russia quickly pulls it away. "Just trust me that right now it's not exactly complimentary. Let me know what you want me to call you."

America glares at him for a moment. "Hmph. Alfred is fine you know. Though 'Hero' is just as good."

Russia pouts. "You're no fun at all. Fine, Alfred it is. I'll think of something better, da? I have to get going now. Make sure to feed yourself, take care of your hand, and try not to be too lonely without me! Now give me a goodbye kiss."

He leans in and Alfred leans away. "Eh, no way! You should be going, quickly!"

Russia grabs him, nearly crushing him. "Now, you know I always have time for you Alfred."

After some struggling and some very messy failed attempts Russia finally manages to plant a kiss on America's lips. "I'll bring you a souvenir, promise."

America glowers at Russia. "Ugh, whatever. Make sure to take back those stupid rental movies before you go."

"Right, right. Wouldn't want you trapped alone with that movie to haunt you." He giggles.

America flushes. "Jerk, don't you even dare talk about that ever again or I'll kill you, do you got that?"

Russia beams at him. "No problem. Well, I'll be back soon. I'll miss you."

"I'm sure you will," America grumbles.

Russia lightly touches America's cheek one more time, then grabs the movies. He blows America a kiss from the door. "До свидания пока."

America stares at the closed door for a long moment.

That had been surprisingly easy. He laughs. "Obviously destiny is on the hero's side! Now I just need to figure out a way to push him back from coming here even later. Maybe I'll tell the airports to detain him or something."

Still, he feels much better about it. Japan's visit is sure to go off smoothly.

He shrugs off the sense of foreboding that overcomes him for a moment and decides how best to utilize his Russia-free time.

Translations:

До свидания пока-Goodbye for now

Notes:

Blini-Yeast-leavened, buckwheat pancakes from Russia. There's a lot of fancier ways to eat them but for a simple breakfast meal sour cream or jam works just fine. I'm pretty sure a single blini would actually just be called a blin but eh. -laughs-