Akkarin's Diary

The moon sails high tonight, brightening the land before me with rays of its silvery light. I can feel the wind through my windows. I can see the tall trees stir under its gentle touch. Their leaves rustled softly as they swayed a short dance, before they stood still again, as the wind swept past.

I wonder where my friend could be at this hour, his windows were still dark the last time I saw. In the Night Room perhaps, on this Fourday night.

It is times like this I miss the company of my old friend, who so seldom visits me these days. Before, he would come by after a hard day's work, where we would forget ourselves and talk for endless hours. I missed his confidence and how we often speak about our families, laughing over the stories I would tell him concerning the antics of our King and his court. At length, when we had no more to tell, we would sit in silence, which I found pleasantly companionable, and drink for what remained of the night.

Those were the times I hold dear in my heart and, the only times my troubles would cease to exist.

Our friendship has come a long way through the years, especially since my return from the journey which changed my life. No longer am I the same person who left the Guild years ago, I had but returned as another man who lives a different life, one that is filled with secrets and lies. It pained me when I had to betray the trust of my dearest friend, but the grave burden I bear, is far too important than our friendship. If only I could have told him then, about my dark, humiliating past. Would he have believed me? Would it have changed anything? Perhaps not. I saw how it changed him regard me when he discovered my secrets. And I could hardly blame him so.

As people often say, "All good things must come to an end" and "The best of friends must part".

Is that how our friendship will be? I fear the truth behind the old wisdoms of these words.

Lately, my friend had finally learnt the truth of my betrayal, and for the good of all things, we found our friendship once again. But, it saddens me at the same time that our reunion also marks the beginning of a dark time.

A time where my worst fears will come to life.

The shadows of my past have returned. They sought to destroy Kyralia and everything that I hold dear to my heart.

For many years in my life, I have prayed that this peril will never arrive. Strangely, I have but found myself looking forward to this day in the recent weeks. I am tired. I feel like an old man trapped in a young man's soul. No longer do I wish to continue the dark battle with my past. For all I had lost and sacrificed, this is the time, to end it all.

I could tell no one how I feel. Not my best friend and, certainly not the woman I have recently grown to love. They would think I seek for my death, and that, is far from the truth. I long for simple peace, and to return to the insouciant life I used to live. Sadly, from the depths of my heart, I fear that this is a future I will never belong to. Or will I?

My lonely life was recently blessed by a special young woman, who has filled my heart with a long forgotten joy. She has a certain power I could not withstand, nor can I avoid. A strong spirit she has in her kind-hearted soul. Not only has she accepted me for all I am, she has sacrificed everything to join me in this dark fight. Her courage has won me, and her love has touched me, yet, no one would know how it had saddens me at the same time.

I wish I could simply keep her safe from all the danger that is to come. But I know for certain, there is nothing I can ever do to stop her from fighting this war. I have, however, given her two promises of mine. One, to keep us all alive, and to make up for all she had suffered for the sake of me. I meant to keep these promises I made, but can I?

My father. I hope his heart has not grown as old as my mother had said, nor his exceptional mind I have always held in high respect. Since the day I was tested with magical strength, I had been his pride. Never would I forget the look on him when I was made the High Lord of the Guild. He looked at me with eyes shone with unshed tears of joy and repeated those words until I had them imprinted in my mind. "I always knew you would bring prestige to our family name, Akkarin."

Now, I am no one but a disgrace to him, a son he probably wished he never had. It pained me so, but I bear no heart to blame the man who has spent his entire life grooming his son, only to be humiliated for the wrongs he has done. This guilt I will shoulder till the end of my life.

I'm afraid the night has awakened all my darkest fears and thoughts. Perhaps some distraction or the company of a friend might fare me well.

With this, I will end here for tonight.

And, I hope this is not the last of the entries I will make, to this old diary of mine.

Akkarin.

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Authors notes:

I'm back! Hope you have enjoyed this chapter. A short one it is but it's not the length that counts, isn't it? I have re-written this chapter countless time and finally decided to write in such a way where no one has done before, an abstract from Akkarin's diary. Gosh, it was so hard to figure out what goes inside his mind. Anyway, I wanted this chapter to have a dark undertone and I also hope my readers will be touched by his sorrows. Hope I have succeeded in doing this, tell me will you?

Last but not least, a HUGE THANK YOU to Ralobat who I have kept from her bedtime just to beta this for me! Thank you thank you so much, we can finally get some sleep now *_*

P.S.: This chapter is especially dedicated to the one and only Akkarin of Delvon, and those of you out there who loves him still.