Okay this is it! Look for Life (and Other Things Like it) in January!
Enjoy and review!
NJPNJPNJP
Puck: POV
Mini Mama was such a fucking dude! She just stopped, frowned and said she had to piss like a racehorse! What girl does that?!
"Where are we?" Elle Woods looked around.
"I think I saw a place a ways back. Here." She held out that white demon dog's leash.
Elle Woods looked so freaked out.
"You're supposed to take it."
"But-?" She looked down at him.
Mini Mama sighed heavily before grabbing her hand and slapping the leash into it. She stomped off.
Elle Woods looked like she was going to cry. "But-?"
"Do you want me to hold his leash?" Mal asked gently. She nodded miserably so he took the leash from her. That dog walked around him like it was looking for a place to bite.
Secret went to sit on Mal's left foot and I swear to fucking hell, stared him down!
"I knew this dog was a good boy." Mal rubbed his head.
"Enemy of my enemy is my friend." Q said.
"I can't believe he's on your side now." Mike shook his head with a smirk. "You two hated each other this morning."
"What a difference a day makes."
"You can quote as many people as you want but I don't like that dog and Secret knows what's up." Mal sniffed.
"Why couldn't she have gotten a sweet dog like Ecru?" Elle Woods picked up her dog.
"What is Monster going to do with a sweet dog?" Mike grinned.
Mal said something in a different language.
Mike laughed. "You don't want the twins picking up that kind of language."
"It'd be worth it."
"Mal, stop cursing." Mama waved a hand.
"I will not."
"You're just like her, aren't you?" Wheels asked.
Mal smiled like he was trying not to. "Like who?"
"Your demonic baby mama."
"I'm nothing like that she-devil."
Mike said something I couldn't understand that had Mama gasping and K-Easy and Q laughing.
Mal just shrugged. "You're like Grandfather."
"Not like Moppet." Mike shook his head. "She's going to follow in his footsteps."
"Mikey, don't say that!" Mama looked so freaked out.
"It's true."
"You know she wants to dance." Mal said. "She's not going to hop to his tune until that happens."
"Then she'll be his pet project?" Q smirked.
"It's not like he'd have a lot of grooming to do." K-Easy rolled her eyes. "She takes after him in nearly every way."
"Well he did teach her how to curse." Mike grinned.
"Your grandfather is why she cusses like she does?" Wheels demanded.
"No, he taught her the basics and she's just creative."
"One time she cursed at a truck driver and it wasn't all in English and she was all red." Sam remembered. "She flipped him off and when he got out, she got out and screamed in his face."
"I bet he didn't expect that."
"We didn't."
"I did." Wheels smirked. "I know my Boo Thang and she got a mouth on her."
"Yeah." Mal grinned.
"Oh gross, Mal!" Q wrinkled her nose.
Elle Woods blushed. "Mal!"
"Well she does!" Mal defended himself.
"How about we trade girlfriends?" Wheels asked.
Satan and Britt hit him. "What are you trying to say?!"
"I wanna see how BT get down."
Hell, I did…
They hit him again. "No!"
"I've always wondered how she'd be in bed." Kurt said slowly.
We all looked at him in shock. "What?!"
"She's a complicated person but she seems to give her 100% focus to tasks. That includes lovemaking. Just seems like it'd be an adventure."
Bowties took his hand. "I've wondered, too."
Kurt smiled. "Thank you."
"She's completely wild yet rigidly controlled and precise. That has to translate well."
"Well!" Mal said. "I thought I just had to worry about straight men!"
"You have nothing to worry about, Mal." Kurt told him. "It's just a thought."
"Until she gets it in her head that she wants to see how you are in bed. Trust me; telling her no is next to impossible."
Bowties blushed. "She's already said she wanted to "break" me."
"Just wait until she starts dropping hints. They will not be subtle."
"Are you really worried?" Elle Woods asked.
"On one hand, no. She should be pretty happy with us. At least as happy as she's gonna get. But I know her. She gets bored fast and she always runs to ground what you tell her she can't do."
"Rest assured, Mal, if Marcy asks us to go to bed, we'll say no." Bowties told him.
Mal just looked at him.
"Marcy can be faithful." Mama argued. "She is faithful."
"We just haven't caught her yet."
"Knowing Marcy, you won't." Q said.
"Lucy!" Mama gasped as Mal glared at her. Mike and K-Easy were cracking up.
"Let's be honest, Marcy getting caught at anything was always because of accomplices. When she does things on her own, she's never caught." Q shrugged.
"She's never caught with me!" Mal was offended.
"St. Pedro!"
He gasped old lady like then turned his head.
"Oh my goodness!" Mama covered her mouth.
Mike and K-Easy held each other up as they laughed.
"I'm sorry, Mal but you were caught and it was just the two of you." Q played with her fingers.
Mal sniffed.
She sighed. "I'm sorry."
"We're not supposed to bring up St. Pedro!" Mama hissed.
"It's actually kind of funny."
Mama set her hands on her hips. "What is so funny about St. Pedro?!"
"The fact that they didn't know it was illegal." Q said instantly.
"How were we supposed to know?!" Mal waved his arms. "We were eight!"
"It was amoral!" Mama yelled.
"What did we know of morals?!"
"More than you do now! You're not even sorry over what you did! You're just upset you got caught!"
He gasped again and went to squat in front of his kids.
"Mal. Mal." Mama pouted. "Mal, I'm sorry. I know you'd never do anything like that again. You were a little kid. You would never hurt anyone like that again."
He looked at her, still miffed.
"I'm sorry, baby. You're a good boy. A good man. That was just a little… distraction from it."
He sighed heavy and stood up. "Okay, Mercy."
She hugged him. "My good baby."
"Humph!" Q folded her arms.
Mal's face made me laugh. I know he was calling her all kinds of names in his head.
"So…?" Wheels put his chin in his hand. "What'd ya do in St. Pedro?"
Mal's eyes widened and he blushed before shrugging. "I can't really remember."
"But Mercy said you hurt someone." Elle Woods pointed out.
"It's been almost ten years. I can't remember that."
She frowned. "You're lying to me."
"I don't know what you want me to say."
"The truth!"
"I don't remember!"
She glared at him. "Mercy, what did they do?"
"It's not my place to tell." Mama was no fool. "They'll have to tell you."
"Fine. She'll tell me the truth."
Mike and K-Easy laughed even harder.
"I have to know!" Wheels said. "Is it really that funny?"
They grinned. "You had to be there."
"It's not funny at all!" Mama hit both. "Stop laughing!"
K-Easy stuck her tongue out. "It is funny and if you weren't so uptight, you'd admit it!"
"I am a feminist! You are a feminist! Act like it!"
K-Easy snorted and looked away.
"Can we guess what it was?" Britt asked.
"No!" Mama threw up her hands.
"Please?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Please?!"
"Be good, Britt!"
Britt pouted and folded her arms across her chest.
"We're done talking about this. Who has something else to talk about?"
It was dead quiet. I know I still wanted to know about St. Pedro. I didn't even know where that was.
"Come on! We must have something else to talk about!"
"Mally pooped in the potty." Mal brought up.
Mama clapped. "Yay Mally!"
Little Dude heard his name and smiled.
She knelt in front of the stroller and kissed his cheeks.
He giggled and kissed her back.
"Does he even know why she's kissing him?" Wheels asked.
"Who'd care?" Mike rolled his eyes.
He wasn't wrong. If she just suddenly kissed me (she's done it before), I'd take the damn kiss and keep my mouth shut.
Mal spoke to his son, who took a deep breath and began yelling. His sister pouted and yelled, too.
"What are they saying?" Finn asked.
"You don't want to know." Q made a face.
"Yes, I do."
"Finn, no, you don't."
"Just tell me."
She sighed. "He's talking about his poop."
"Ew!" The girls wrinkled their noses.
Wheels, Sam and I fell out laughing.
"That's so gross." Bowties stared at the little boy.
"Why, Diva?" Kurt knew he was grossed out. "Why?"
Mama laughed. "He's proud of himself."
"Is it that big a deal?" Satan asked.
"Yeah." Mal told her. "We've just started potty training them. He just went to the bathroom and used their baby potty."
"How do you potty train kids anyhow?"
"It's hard." He and Q said at the same time.
"How do you do it?" She pressed.
"You have to show them how to do it."
"Show them?"
Mal facepalmed. "You have to go to the bathroom in front of them."
Satan's mouth fell open and the rest of the girls ewed. "What?!"
"You heard him." Q said.
"I'm not doin that!"
"You will."
"No way!"
"You will if you want your child to use the toilet."
Satan still looked pissy. "I don't like this."
"Don't like what?"
We jumped. "Don't do that!"
"You're not funny." Mini Mama bit off.
"Make a sound!" Mama snapped. "You and Mikey are always sneaking up on people!"
"Hey!" Mike yelled.
"Stop being a baby." Mini Mama walked to her stroller.
"You gave us a heart-attack and I'm the baby?!" Mama put her hands on her hips.
"Yup."
"Patti!" Satan grabbed her attention. "Do you go to the bathroom in front of your kids?"
Mini Mama raised a brow and looked at Mal.
"She doesn't want to potty train her kid." Mal told her.
"Good luck changing a forty year old's diaper."
Satan glared. "Do you or do you not go to the bathroom in front of your kids?"
"How else are they going to learn? They have to see it."
Satan gasped. "I can't believe you! Wait. Why can't I believe it? You're weird."
"I can't wait for your baby to poop on you. I hope you have a boy and he pees on your face."
I couldn't help it. I laughed. Long and hard. Mama hit me. But that shit was funny.
"Marcy." Elle Woods frowned.
"I said what I said." Mini Mama didn't give no hell.
Satan really glared. "Where were you? You were gone for like half an hour."
Mini Mama opened her mouth and looked behind herself but Elle Woods interrupted. "What happened in St. Pedro?"
"What?" Mini Mama lifted that brow again.
"You've been to St. Pedro. What happened there?"
"Hmm." Mini Mama looked at Satan. "I got lost. I found a place but they wouldn't let me piss without buying something so here you go." She tossed a box to her girlfriend.
"You're just going to ignore me?" Elle Woods opened the box and gasped. "They're beautiful!"
"What'd you get?" Kick asked.
Elle Woods showed the box off. "Earrings." They were diamond squares in gold.
"I got a business card for you, Luce." Mini Mama took the card from her back pocket and handed it to her sister. "I figured you'd like to work around jewels."
Q took the card with a smile. "Thanks, Moppet!"
"Why couldn't you have found me a job?" Mama joked.
"I did." Mini Mama took a bunch of folded paper from her back pocket and went through them before choosing one. "Here."
Mama read it over. "This is a coffee shop."
"Yeah, it's a hippy dippy place. I went in for a second. Got this flier. They have open mic nights and poetry slams so I thought you'd get a kick out of that."
Mama hugged her. "That sounds so amazing."
"What about us?!" Wheels demanded.
Mini Mama gave him a flyer. "It's an Apple store."
"So because I was in the AV club, I gotta wanna work with computers?"
"Yes."
He snatched the flyer from her. "You know me too well."
She shrugged and turned to Finn. "I found a garage. I called them up and they said they'd love for you to check them out."
He took the flyer. "Thanks, Marcy! Something I'm good at!"
"What about us?" Kick asked.
"I saw this museum and someone was inside so I knocked on the door and talked to her. She said she needed an assistant and to call her tomorrow." Mini Mama gave her a card.
Kick screamed in happiness and tried to hug her but Mini Mama's face said that wasn't a good idea.
"Here." Mini Mama gave Elle Woods a flyer. "This is where I ended up pissing. It's a bakery."
Elle Woods wrinkled her nose before frowning. "I thought you went at the jewelers?"
"I have to buy something just so my bladder doesn't burst? F that! I only bought those earrings because I thought you'd like them. I went at the bakery."
"Well I thank you anyway. But I don't know how to bake."
"You'd be a cashier." Mini Mama definitely had an edge to her voice. "They have enough kitchen help."
"I can do that. Thanks, Marcy."
"Uh huh." She handed the last flyer out to Sam. "Here. This is what took me so long besides just walking around trying to find you."
He took the paper then hugged her, lifting her off her feet. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
She stared him in the eye when he opened his. "Down."
He set her down and dusted off her shoulders. "Thanks, Marcy."
"Don't mention it. Ever."
"What job did she find for you?" Mike asked.
Sam held it up so we could see. "At a comic book store!"
I could definitely see why she thought that was a good idea.
"What about me?" Tina pouted.
Bowties cleared his throat.
"I mean us!"
Mini Mama patted her ass, looking for something. She went around her waist until she found another flyer. This was half the size of all the other ones. She handed it to Tina. "I saw it on a pole along with a few of the others. I went in and they got your type of clothes."
Tina read over the flyer. "But this isn't a job flyer."
"No but the woman I spoke to there said they were hiring. Just come in tomorrow."
Tina squealed. "She got me a job at a boutique!"
Mama and Kurt praised her.
"And me?" Bowties was hopeful.
"I found a gym around the corner. I talked to the owner and he said he wanted someone to come in and teach younger kids about boxing." Mini Mama told him.
"Really?!" He looked like he was about to bust outta his skin.
"Yeah. Gimme your phone."
"My phone?" He handed it over.
She typed something then handed it to him. "I googled them."
He grinned. "Thanks, Marcy! I will never forget this!"
"Try."
Britt clapped. "What about us?"
"I figured you could work at the pet store. I saw a help wanted sign while we were there. I know they get discounts off stuff for working there."
"I get to be around cute animals all day?! Sold!"
"What about me, Patti?" Satan lifted a brow.
"Why are you looking at me?!" Mini Mama frowned.
"You hooked everybody else up!"
Mini Mama huffed and rolled her eyes. "Fine! You can take my job at the library. You won't get paid much but it's something."
"What do I have to do at the library?!"
"Read, you dingbat!"
"Read to who?!"
"Little kids! Who else are you going to read to?! teenagers?!"
"The way those kids loved you, I'm sure teenagers would love you, too." I pointed out.
Mini Mama gave me a look.
"So everybody else is taken care of. What about me?"
She took a breath. "I set you and Mikey up at the apartments. You clean the pool and he'll provide maintenance until they hire someone else."
Mike made a few faces before it settled on approval. "Cool."
I was like Finn. Happy it's something I know how to do and am good at. "Thanks, Mini Mama!"
She ignored me.
K-Easy elbowed her. "Hey!"
"Don't touch me."
K-Easy hit her. "What about me?!"
"You don't wanna work, Rou and we both know it. Stop acting."
K-Easy smacked her lips. "You don't know! I could want to improve someone's life or something!"
"One, the only person's life you're trying to improve is yours." We all laughed at that. "Two, you don't do work. Three, you're proud to be a trustfund baby. Like I said, stop acting."
K-Easy crossed her arms. "You get on my nerves!"
"I'm dying…" Mini Mama had her blank face on.
K-Easy swatted her as we laughed again.
It got quiet after that but I think we were all thinking about our new jobs but somebody had a bone to pick. And by somebody, I mean Mal.
"What about me?!"
Mini Mama raised a brow.
"You got everyone else a job but me!"
"I technically didn't get anybody a job. They have to interview themselves."
"Puck, Mike, Santana."
"Except for those three."
He gave her a look. "Why wouldn't you look into something for me?!"
"I didn't look into anything for them!"
"You went to places and asked questions! Why do you hate me?!"
"Because you're a bigger girl than I am!"
He turned red and stopped speaking English.
She shouted back at him and they went back and forth until the twins started crying. They each grabbed a twin and bounced with them while shooting each other ugly looks.
Mama wrapped her arms around Mal from behind while Mike did the same to Mini Mama. They moved them forward. "Hug!"
The look Mini Mama gave Mike fucking killed me. She looked at him like she thought he was stupid as hell.
Mal turned his head. Mama squeezed him. "Hug, Mally Mal."
Q came over and took the twins from them. "Hug!"
"Give me my kid back." Mini Mama ignored the shit out of her command.
"Not until you hug!"
"Bite me."
Mike grabbed her arms and made them open as Mama did the same to Mal. They moved them forward even more and forcibly made them hug.
Mini Mama's face was priceless. She looked pissed. Mal looked bored. When Mike and Mama let go, their arms dropped so they grabbed them again.
"Hug! And mean it!"
Mal's shoulder sagged. "Fine!"
"My spirit remains unbroken." Mini Mama said.
"Why are you so difficult?! How hard is it to find a job for me?! You found one for everyone else!"
"I don't even have a job! Why would I find you one?!"
"You're impossible! You were born difficult!"
"Yup! And you were born late!"
I swear to hell, I almost died laughing. Mama glared at me but I had to laugh. That was a solid comeback.
Mini Mama gave me a heavy lidded look so I shut up. "Mal, I did not leave you out on purpose. It's a total fluke that I found that pole with all those flyers. If I hadn't noticed all those rainbow colors, I would have kept going and almost no one would have a job opportunity."
"There wasn't anything on that pole that I would like?" Mal still seemed hurt.
"Not unless you want to be tested, no."
"Tested?" He frowned.
"They're looking for human lab rats."
"I'm good." He said quick.
"Now hug?" Mama put on that baby voice.
Mal opened his arms.
Mini Mama just stared at him. "Get away from me."
He hugged her anyway and she started fussing in another language. I don't think it was one any of the others knew cuz they just looked at her, confused.
Mal held on until she wound down and stopped fussing. Then he kept holding her until she patted his back. He let her go. "Feel better?"
"I'm going to smother you in your sleep." She took Little Dude from Q.
"At least I'll die with you atop me."
Wheels and I whooped. That's the way to go, you know?
"This is bull. I'm getting hungry again. When are we going shopping?" Mini Mama said three sentences that didn't match to me.
"Food shopping?" Mama let Mal go (he grabbed Little Mini Mama).
"Yes."
"We should go home and get the cars so we can go now."
"Who's all going shopping?" Tina asked.
"Someone from every house." Mini Mama said.
"I'll go." Both Tina and Kurt offered.
"You can both go. Nobody'll know what you like more than you."
Q sighed. "That means we should all go."
Us guys looked at her like she was crazy but none so fast as her brothers. "Nope! No!"
She huffed. "Fine! Just us girls. But don't be upset when we bring back things you don't like to eat!"
"I'll eat anything!" Mike, Sam and I said at exactly the same time.
"We know what you like, Mikey so only Blaine and Sam need to come." Mini Mama told them.
"What?!" Sam looked hurt.
"You're going." She gave him a look. "I don't know what you like to eat."
"I'm simple-"
"No doubt."
"Marcy!" Mama hit her as Sam stuck his bottom lip out.
"You're still going. You guys should write out a list of things you want special."
"I'm not a mystery to you." Mal said. "I don't have to write anything, do I?"
"We have twin telepathy." She sounded serious as shit.
"Fine. I'll write down some stuff but you know me. You know what I like to eat."
She said one word that had her relatives laughing and blushing.
"I don't even understand whatever language that was and I know what she said." Satan grinned.
"I think I got it, too." Wheels smirked.
Mama hid her face. "Come on here, dirty girl!"
Mini Mama kissed her son before putting him back in the stroller. "Kk, Mercy."
Like she didn't just stir up some shit… Mini Mama was my favorite person. MAP
Mercedes: POV
The guys were staying home to catch up with the pet store. Us girls (and Kurt, Blaine and Sam) went shopping. We took Travis and Rhonda cuz they were the biggest.
Ellen, Tana, Britt, Karou and Sam rode with Marcy while the rest were with me. We had the kids with us.
First we went to a farmer's market for fresh produce. The others have never been! We showed them the ins and outs while we got things like fresh fruits and veggies and honey.
We put the bags in the trunks and drove to Costco. We got out (after parking far away so no one would hurt our cars) and went inside.
We found bulk staple items like condiments, which was weird. Not weird to get condiments but weird that Marcy picked up a certain one.
"Are you getting that for the house?" I asked.
She looked back at me. "Uh… no. It's for me."
"What are you doing with almond butter?"
"I'm going to eat it."
I was shocked and dismayed. "Marcy, why?!"
"Remember when I went to get my casts cut off?"
That was like three weeks ago. "Yes."
"I asked Dr. John to check me for allergies. I outgrew my nut allergy. I can eat nuts now."
"What?! Are you serious?!" I was so happy for her, I hugged her.
"Thank you." She said dryly as she patted my back.
"I'm so happy for you! Almond butter is amazing but you should also try cashew butter and regular peanut butter."
She picked up the packages that held three jars apiece. "Thanks. I still want my soynut and sunflower butters. I'm used to them."
"Of course." I understood that. "Are you still allergic to strawberries and cherries?"
"Unfortunately."
"That's alright." I picked up almond butter for our house as well. "Hey?"
"Yeah?" She grabbed different jellies and jams that she didn't get at the farmer's market.
"Why'd you get so many tomatoes at the market?"
"I'm making jars of marinara and also tomato chips."
"Yum! Tomato chips!" I licked my lips.
"I don't want just store bought snacks and I'm going to make a snack corner in our pantry so the kids will have access to it."
"That's a good idea."
"Thank you."
I pushed my cart forward. "Want to get barbecue sauce?"
"Sure." MAP
"Do we need this much shrimp?" Britt asked.
"I eat shrimp like a whale eats krill." Marcy assured her.
"What's krill?" Annie asked me in a whisper.
"Tiny fish." I whispered back.
"I want ice cream." Tana sprouted.
"You'll have to get it later. It'll melt in the car now." Marcy said.
"Ice cream!" The twins knew that word and began screaming it loudly as they ran in circles.
Marcy growled and stared at them.
They stopped screaming and walked over to her quietly with bowed heads.
"How'd you do that?" Tana was in awe. "You totally have that mom look. It made me want to apologize."
"You'll get it." Lucy assured her.
Tana subconsciously rubbed her stomach. "That'd be cool."
"It reminded me of my mom." Sam shuddered. "I expected you to call me by my full name."
"You giant girl." Marcy mocked.
I pinched her. "Leave him alone! Do we have everything or not?"
"We have frozen meat, we have condiments, we have snacks, we have drinks, we have canned goods, we have dried pasta and potatoes. I think that's it for here."
"Then let's go."
"Where else are we going?" Rachel asked.
"You might want to stay in the car for this but the butcher is next." Marcy told her.
Rachel paled. "I'll stay in the car." MAP
Rachel stayed in the car while we were at the butcher's. We got a lot of fresh meat like pork, chicken, beef, lamb, goat, turkey and bison.
The others had never been to a butcher and didn't know anything about what raw meat looked like. It got worst at the docks where we bought fresh fish and seafood.
After, we went to a bakery for bread then a cheese shop for cheese. Marcy, Lucy, Kurt and I went crazy there. We always had cheese at tea and Kurt liked anything expensive.
After, we went to an Asian store and picked up some specialty items before going to an Italian place for more. Then we went to a spice shop. The others were in awe of it and we spent more time than we should have there.
Then we went to a regular market and picked up any loose ends we may have forgotten like milk and eggs. Then Marcy suggested we stop at a Jewish shop and Mexican one. We did and Rachel and Tana found things they'd grown up with while me and my sisters (and Rou) found some Spanish spices we knew about.
We headed for home after that. We parked in front of the building and called the boys down to help. Luckily the building had trollies like a hotel did so we loaded them up and took them up the elevators.
Once everything was upstairs, Marcy and I parked the cars in the lot and rode upstairs for the final time. I went inside my apartment and took off my shoes before locking the door and walking to the kitchen.
Lucy, Rachel and Annie were trying to figure out where to put everything so I had to come over and add my two cents. MAP
I answered my phone without looking at the screen. "Hello?"
"You have won one million dollars; answer this one question and it'll all be yours!"
I blinked. "Okay!"
"What does one do after they've put away all their groceries and doesn't want to talk to their boyfriend?"
"I heard that!" Was that Mal?
"Marcy?" I asked.
"Duh." She giggled.
I laughed. "Why do you do that boy like that?!"
"He's so sensitive."
"Better quit. He can leave."
"He can get to steppin. The door is right around the corner."
"Stop that! You'd miss him!"
"Won't know unless he leaves."
"Didn't you miss him in March?"
"I see you're pulling out the big guns. Well I'll let you go-"
"No! No! You called for a reason. What's up?"
"Nothing really. We put away everything non perishable in the pantry. Perishables in the fridge. Meat and cheese we're not using right away and frozen fruit and veggies in the freezer. Protected in Glad bags of course."
"Of course." Just like we were taught. "Did you do your snack corner?"
"Yeah. I decided for it to be the shelf above their heads."
"Marcy, why?!"
"Seemed funny."
"Did you make your sauce and chips?"
"Yes. And I also made granola."
"Sounds yummy."
"I kept sneaking tastes."
"What are you making for dinner?"
"Should I be doing that?"
"Marcy, yes!"
"Um…"
"Marcy, cook before you die."
"I can make lasagna soup and a Caesar salad with garlic knots."
"That sounds amazing. I love your lasagna soup."
"But is it too hot for soup?"
"No way. Go for it. What should I make?"
"All your food's good. What are you in the mood for?"
"Honestly? pork."
"Make schnitzel and spätzle."
"Noah can't eat that and Rachel doesn't eat meat."
"Make it out of chicken and make her a cauliflower patty."
"Ooh!" I sat up. "That's a great idea! I could make them all out of cauliflower! Do I have enough-?"
"You want those boys to string you up."
I huffed. "It was just a thought."
"A bad one."
"How's my baby?" I changed the subject.
"I can't see through walls. What goes on in your house is your business."
"I meant Mal!"
"I still can't see through walls."
"Where is he?"
"How the hell should I know? I ain't got a lowjack on him."
"Marce!" I whined.
She sighed. "Hold on."
I waited.
"He's watching a movie with RT in the den."
"Did you go check?" I was surprised at her.
"Uh… no. I texted him."
"Oh." That made a tonne of sense. "I should let you go."
"Okay."
"Wait!" I knew she hung up fast.
"What?"
"Where's the others?"
"Tana's right here. Britt's enthralled by that pig and Elle won't quit with that mouse with the 70s haircut."
"Isn't that a guinea pig?"
"And it's white."
"Your dog's white."
"My dog's a dog."
"Your dog's a wolf."
"My dog's for adults."
"You were a kid five minutes ago."
"And a glorious five minutes it's been!"
I laughed. Only her. "Bye, Marce."
She hung up on me. She sometimes forgets to say goodbye out loud…
I went about gathering ingredients for an authentic German dinner when my phone went off. I checked it. It was Marcy saying goodbye. I smirked and continued.
I set about cooking (in my very own kitchen!) and even pulled out the deep fryer. Dinner was almost done when I heard a squeak. I turned. "Beth?"
"Hi, Tia Me." She came up to me and wrapped her arms around my legs.
"Hi, baby. What are you doing?"
"I was playing with Fluffy and Oliver. She doesn't like him." The last part was a whisper.
I smirked. "Are you hungry?"
She nodded and grinned. "Yup! Mommy said you were gonna cook! I like your food."
"You do?!" I pinched her cheek.
"Uh huh!" She nodded. "It's way better than Gram's!"
"Which Gram?" I knew which one.
"Mommy's mommy."
I didn't laugh like I wanted to. "Oh really?"
"You cook better than Papa's mommy, too!"
"What was that?" I was so glad Noah covered up my tiny slip of laughter as he walked in with Rae.
"Tia Me cooks better than Gram." Beth reported.
Noah stopped and looked caught. "Uh…" He shrugged and continued walking. "True."
"Noah!" I laughed.
"Well you do! There! I said it!"
"She'd beat you for saying that!"
"I'll press charges." He looked over my shoulder. "What's that?"
I told him.
"What's that?" He blinked.
"It's German food, No-No." I rolled my eyes.
He made a face. "You're gonna make me eat German food?"
"Order a pizza." I deadpanned.
"I'll eat it. Although your people killed my people-"
"Noah!" I pointed to Beth, who was avidly listening.
"My bad. They killed them with love." He told her. She just stared at him. "Yeah, that sounds like BS to me, too. Here's a dollar. Go play."
She took the dollar and ran out.
"You can't just bribe her whenever you mess up." I scolded.
"I'll run out of money soon." He kissed Rae's cheek.
I rolled my eyes and went to start putting dishes on the table.
Annie walked in. "Beth says you gave her a dollar because MercyCat killed Noah."
"She wasn't supposed to tell nobody!" He sat at the table.
"You never told her it was a secret." I reminded him.
"Huh?!" Annie had to be confused.
I told her what happened. "So he gave her a dollar."
She giggled.
"I know he a mess! I don't know where Ms. Nadine found him!"
"Yeah but we love him."
"I suppose so. Call the others. It's time to eat."
"Ooh! What is it?"
I told her. "It's really good."
"Okay." She came closer and kissed me. "Depending on how it tastes, I'll give you another."
That took me back to at least fifteen years ago. Maybe even ten. Marcy (and the rest of us after) used to trades kisses like currency. It was how she paid all her debts until she realized favors were better. That made me sad until I realized that although things were different, they weren't bad.
Mikey was right. Our family survived then thrived. I kissed Annie back then kissed Noah and Rae. Our family kicked butt and made me who I am now.
FIN