I am back... I was cursed with the burden of homework, but I believe it has been conquered. So I could write this chapter... Personally, it's my favorite. Enjoy!

Everyone thought what happened that night with Kyle was one thing, when it was the exact opposite. It was the night that ruined me and made everything in my life a billion times worse. I had to walk around with the weight of keeping it a secret on my shoulders. I had to deal with people who hated me for an unknown reason on a daily basis. I had to pretend like I was fine, like I was happy, when really, there was a growing pit of sadness and anxiety and depression inside of my stomach. I didn't cover it up with a smile ; I covered it up with silence..

That one night, that one decision I made, screwed up my entire life. I wanted to be popular and wasn't Kyle, the most popular boy in school, the answer to that? I had already dissed my best friend and defied the most popular and powerful girl in school that week, so what did I have to lose? More than I thought. For example, I lost my virginity, my innocence, any hope that was inside of me since my parents' death. And I also lost all respect from my peers. It's not like I needed them to like me or cared what they called me, but that including being shoved into desks and lockers made me realize that no one under the age of eighteen in that entire building thought of me as a person. To them, I must have been a varmint, a freak, a monster.

To me, Kyle wasn't a crush a girl has on a classmate. It was a hopeless romance that would never happen, like a teen's infatuation with Austin Mahone, hoping that they would be together, but they never would. And they knew that. It was exactly like that, except Kyle wasn't a teen pop icon. He was more like a teen nightmare. He was about two grades older, but even in elementary and middle school, every single freshman knew who he was prior to attending high school.

A person like me could only dream that a person like him would even pass me in the hallway. For once in my life, I got more than I bargained for.

I thought I looked okay, seeing how normally looked. I was normal. Austin went through my mind several times when I was waiting for Kyle to pick me up. We had agreed that he would drive me to the party. I still always think if I had done what Cassidy had asked, maybe she would have went on that date with Kyle. Maybe she would have gotten raped and bullied and mistreated. Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't be the joke.

But none of that happened. Kyle's car pulled up and I was too nervous and scared to pay attention to the details of it or him or my surroundings. Was it wrong to feel guilty for disobeying Cassidy? Was it wrong to know that I should have just stuck with the status quo?

The car stopped. At a house. A party. Why was I, Ally Dawson, of all people at a party like this? I had hoped drinking would make me forget this night even happened. Make me forget that I wasn't supposed to be here. I was out of place, clearly.

I purposely tried to get drunk. I wanted to pretend like I belonged here. Didn't people get drunk at high school parties in the movies?

I was bouncing around like a two year old who just ate cotton candy. Kyle looked at me and gave me that smile. "You've never had alcohol before." he said and smirked a little. "Figures." he murmured. "Annie, you need to calm down. It's just a little drink." I was too drunk to notice that he got my name wrong.

I was singing at the top of my lungs whatever song was on. It wasn't good singing, probably because of the alcohol. "Come with me." I stayed put on the couch. "Maybe all of these people are crowding you."

"Isn't that what parties are for?" The question made no sense, but that night, nothing that came out of my mouth made sense.

He pretty much dragged me to one of the rooms and laid me down on the bed. I stared at the ceiling until the designs on the wall her replaced by his eyes. He was on top of me. I was too busy, too drunk, and staring at his eyes, mesmerized, to notice he was undressing. I don't know if I kissed him or he kissed me, but it felt amazing—for two seconds.

I tried to pull away, but he held me tight. Not like being held tight by someone in a hug—being held tight by someone who is trying to mug you. Even the kiss hurt. I tried to ignore the tears that slipped out of my eyes. He pulled back. "Haven't you done this before?" What, you mean be raped? No, I haven't actually!

Words couldn't find their way out of my mouth. I was in so much pain. "Somebody help!" I managed to shout, but it was useless with the music volume so loud.

"Shut up." I heard Kyle say, before he hit me a couple of times. It hurt, but not more than what he was doing to me.

"Let me go." After everything I said, I pretty much got punched, so I decided to shut up. "I've been watching you." he said. I gulped. "And I... I like what I s-"

The door swung open. "Told you they were in here. I saw them. Wait, is-"

Cassidy and Kira stood at the door. Cassidy didn't miss the opportunity to take a picture. People started gathering at the door, whispering and gossiping.

"Who would have thought-"

"What that Ally with Kyle?"

Before any of the chatter erupted, however, Kyle bolted out of the room. There I was. A fourteen year old, rubbed raw, and crying, and accused of being something I wasn't. This was the worst moment of my life. But it was only the beginning.

All of me hoped that things between Austin and I wouldn't be awkward and it wasn't. It was as if we had been in love all this time. Maybe we had.

After waking up, I wanted to see his face. I wanted to know it was real. I wanted to know that what happened the day before wasn't a dream I had.

Turns out, he was already awake. He looked like something was on his mind. Of course, the serious expression was replaced by a smile when he saw me. "Hey." I responded with the same dull word.

I sat next to him, unsure of what to say or do next. What was appropriate to do at this point in our relationship? And by appropriate, I mean: what was the next step?

"So... we can be honest with each other?" he asked me suddenly, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah." I said, not knowing where he was going with it.

"Who... I..." he began, but stopped, trying to find the right words.

"What?"

"Who was Kyle? Well, if I can ask. It's just that... Cassidy had told me something about you and him once. I just wanted to know if it was true."

He was asking about Kyle. I wanted to freak out and not tell him, but I knew he deserved to know. "Kyle?" The subject made the memories swim through my brain. Everything suddenly seemed like it had happened just the day before.

"Yeah. I... want to know who I..." he stopped. I could tell he wasn't comfortable talking about it. Who would be?

"Well," I started. I don't know which words included what happened that night between Kyle and me. I just know I got something off my chest. I had told somebody.

No one knew. I could never tell anyone. Not even Trish knew, but she had always assumed. I never confirmed or denied.

He started at me. "I'm sorry." he said. "Or you're welcome. I don't know which to say."

I smiled. "How come I never knew that?" he asked. How come part of me thought he did?

Was I supposed to tell him that no one knew? I couldn't, not yet. "You never asked." I thought for a second. There was so much I felt I could say. That I loved him? That I needed him more than I needed food or water? That just as long as he was with me, everything would be okay?

He smiled at me. "I never thought in a million years you would tell me that."

"Well, a lot has changed in a million years, hasn't it?"

"Yeah. I guess so."

Maybe neither of us wanted to admit it, but I think even we were changing, into better people. And it was because of the other.

Seems pretty good. A little shorter than I had hoped for... I hoped you like it. I hope it's as good as I had always dreamed. Tell me what you think?