The Summer of Endings

May:

Massie,

"Don't stare."

I looked back to Genevieve, James's cousin.

The Winston's were spread out across the continent, which was why it finally made sense that James was so bilingual. I had only met a few members of his family, but I had already learned so much from them all.

Genevieve was from Paris, where she had lived until she was fifteen. When her parents got a divorce, Genevieve's mother got main custody, and she decided to take her daughter where they could start over, in her home country of England. But they had opted to move into an expensive flat in London instead of a huge home in the countryside.

Genevieve, or Eve as she had chosen to be called as she started over in England, was so close to James that she might as well have been his sister.

"I'm not staring," I rolled my eyes as I took a sip of my tea, and Genevieve nudged me.

"Liar."

I didn't fight it because I knew she was right.

I was completely in love with her cousin, James.

James Winston.

Star of the rugby team.

Genius of our grade.

The boy that every girl was in love with.

And my best friend.

That was the problem.

James was my best friend. He was my everything this year, and I couldn't imagine my life without him.

I just couldn't lose him.

"He likes you, too, you know," Genevieve smiled, and I rolled my eyes.

"You're mad, Eve. Completely mad," I told her as I peeked out of the corner of my eye to see James, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

James was playing soccer with Robin and a few other friends, but I only had eyes for James…

"You two would be a good match," Eve smiled, and I rolled my eyes but thought about it.

I thought we would, too.

I desperately wanted him to make his move this summer.

"And you've got all summer to tell him you know. It would probably be better to start the school year together, to get all of those girls to stop chasing him," Eve smirked, "Not that he notices."

Eve and James looked so similar that it was hard to remember that they were cousins, not siblings.

The eighteen year old looked just like him, just as perfect. When she graduated KISS a few months ago, she cut off her long wavy black hair to the middle of her graceful neck. Her eyes were bright blue, and she barely had to wear make-up, so she didn't. Her lips were thick, and her nose had the perfect slope that Duh-livia had tried to get for years.

"I'm going to get some lemonade. Do you want some?"

"No thank you, but if Aunt Elise made some of those lemon bars, get me some," Eve smiled wide as she reclined into the comfortable arm chair in the sunroom looking out to the perfectly manicured garden that Mrs. Winston kept, the barbeque area that Mr. Winston loved, and the pool and sports area that James's took care of.

I loved being at this house.

I adored our new castle and the beautiful garden in the back that felt like a fairy tale, but I loved how James's house felt like a home.

When I got into the kitchen, my nostrils were attacked by the smell of fresh cookies and the latest treat Mrs. Winston had created.

"Oh, Massie, Darling."

Mrs. Winston.

I loved her so.

It was amazing to be around her. She was sweet and beautiful and wonderful and every other compliment I could think of.

"Hello, Mrs. Winston."

"Call me, Elle, I've told you a million times."

"Alright, Elle," I smiled, "Do you have any more of that lemonade?"

"Of course! I just made some," Elle reached into the refrigerator (American size, I happily noted) and pulled out a pitcher.

I smiled thanks as she brought out a glass and began to pour some for me.

"Where is James?" Elle asked as she handed me the glass gingerly.

"Oh playing with the boys. Eve and I were just talking."

I smiled thanks again as I nodded to leave, and Elle stopped me.

"Massie, I heard James asked you if you would like to come to the retreat at the end of the summer. How do you feel about it? We would love if you came."

The retreat.

Before the boys and Eve had showed up, James and I had been sitting out on the porch with a cup of tea when he had asked me about the retreat. I had been shocked when he asked, unable to believe that he would ask me something so personal…

Before I could answer, everyone showed up and pulled us different ways.

It was a blessing because I wasn't sure.

"Of course, Elle. I would love to."

June:

Dylan,

"Oh my Gawd! He is totes in to you!"

"I hope he is," Massie smiled through the camera as she leaned back into her desk chair.

When Massie had gotten to Westchester for her visit, she had told us everything about what happened with James.

We were all shocked to hear that she was scared to tell him how she felt.

This was Massie! Confident Massie.

Especially with boys.

But suddenly she was timid to ruin their friendship.

Suddenly, she felt like a different Massie.

A refined Massie. A mature Massie.

… a British Massie.

It was scary.

All of her stories seemed to be about her new friends. Like Strawberry's 'badass' ways. Quinn's brilliance. Robin's flirtatious ways that reminded her of Derrington. Or how much fun she had shopping with Wyatt.

And even her style had seemed to change.

Her hair was darker, and her skin was porcelain. Though she was still chic in her style, she stopped dressing as old as she usually did. Suddenly, she wore all of these vintage clothes with bight bold colors to add a Massie Twist. And she had this glow when she talked about James.

Massie seemed to have grown older, or maybe just different.

I still loved Massie, but it scared the hell out of me to think that she might outgrow me, too.

"Why don't you tell him?"

"I just-I just don't want to mess things up. I don't know what I'd do without him. I just can't lose him."

I nodded, not sure how to respond,

"Hey, what's up with you and your boy," Massie smiled.

My boy.

Landon's best friend.

On Valentines Day, he finally leaned in and kissed me, and we had been dating since.

"We're okay. I mean, nothing much to tell. He wants me to go to ADHD, but, with the show, I can't. High school is going to suck without you, Massie," I looked down to the picture of us laughing at Halloween, where my alpha was dressed as a Trampire.

"It'll be fine. You've got the rest of the PC."

I wasn't so sure about that, but I didn't tell her that.

None of us did.

"It's not the same, Mass. Besides, you've got James. You don't know any high school hardship."

"Shut up, Dylan," Massie smiled, but she was blushing.

But then her amber eyes wandered down to her cell phone.

"I've got to get going. Sushi and shopping with Strawberry and Quinn. I'll call you tonight."

She kept forgetting about the time difference, but I would probably be up anyway.

"Sure," I nodded as the skype clicked off, and my IM began to buzz.

Hottie-With-a-Dancer's-Body: Up for coffee? Totally need some retail therapy.

I loved Alicia, I did.

But recently we hadn't been able to get along.

I wasn't sure what it was.

I think it's because I miss Massie, and I want our old Alpha back.

But Alicia is determined to prove that she is alpha now.

I didn't mean to compare her to Massie as often as I did, but it just happened like that. And Alicia did not appreciate it.

But I was mainly scared of what she would become.

Dyl-Me-In: Love to but have plans with my boyfriend. We're going for pizza. Sorry. Maybe next time?

I quickly sent a text to my boyfriend to back up my story.

I hated lying to her, but I didn't want another fight today since I knew she was already on edge after a fight with Josh.

Hottie-With-a-Dancer's-Body: Uh, sure. I'll go with Olivia. I haven't seen her in a long time anyway. See you tomorrow with the girls.

Hottie-With-a-Dancer's-Body has signed off.

Tomorrow with the girls.

The sleep-over.

We had one every two weeks. This tie, we were camping out in Claire's tee house.

I cringed as I thought back to Alicia's themed sleep-over, Dance-a-Palooza where she and Olivia tried to teach us the latest fast-paced dance to the latest dance hit we all loved so much.

Well, we used to love. We hated it thanks to that dance.

Even though I did like how many calories I lost, I never wanted to do it again…

"Dylan, the reviews are in for our last episode of the season! Want to see it?" my mom smiled as she pushed the door open and smiled.

"Sure," I shrugged.

Its not like I have much else to do.

July:

Alicia,

"I'll always be compared to Massie," I sat deflated at the frozen yogurt shop.

Massie.

My best friend.

We had been best friends since the second semester of sixth grade. We had fights and splits before, but we always ran back to each other, claiming ourselves GLU (Girls Like Us). No matter what fight we had or boy drama, we were in it together.

But now?

She wasn't my Massie.

Suddenly, she was gentle. She was nice. She was shy to admit her feelings.

Massie was still confident and definitely still an alpha. But she didn't care much anymore.

She talked most of her new friends, especially James. Her life was just as perfect as it had been here, maybe even better. Actally, it was better.

She was one at the best schools in the world. Her father's new money gave her a castle and the best clothes, even if she had to change out of her super-cute school uniform to wear them. She had quirky amazing friends, including a well-known author who had a huge teen vogue article about her last month when her book came out. And she was alpha there in a short amount of time.

And, even worse, she had disappeared on her vacation with James.

I was beginning to worry that she would never return…

"Then you should leave."

I stared at Olivia in shock.

The PC had all bailed on our trip to go shopping.

Claire had forgotten about a sushi date with Cam and went out with him.

Dylan had to do something for her show, but I wasn't upset about that since we fought every time we were around each other.

And Kristen had Soccer Sisters.

"You could totally be Alpha, Alicia! But they'll always see you as Beta!" Olivia nodded as she ate a spoonful of her chocolate yogurt.

But, in honesty, I wasn't sure I could handle being Alpha.

It was so much harder than I had ever thought, especially since everyone missed Massie.

Even the people who openly hated her were missing her!

No one would accept me as Alpha…

I was ready to start all over at PCMS and become the upgraded PC, like when Apple continued to do well when Steve Jobs went to make that new computer company for a while.

I was good at it, but sometimes I felt this weird feeling.

This bitchiness settling over me from knowing that I was the queen and everyone else my peasants.

And I was scared to death it would become permanent.

I desperately wanted to be alpha though…

"But they're my friends, Olivia," I flipped my hair as I finished my low-fat yogurt.

"Friends. Puh-lease. You and Dylan are always fighting. Kristen is always playing soccer. And Claire is always with her boyfriend," Olivia narrowed her eyes.

She and Cam had history.

Olivia still hated him for leaving her for Claire, saying that he missed Claire and that Olivia was a complete idiot.

Not that he was wrong…

"What do you want me to do? Start a new clique?"

"Exactly! New school, new image. We could rule this place, Bay-Bay!"

I stared at my best friend.

Had she officially lost every IQ point?

"I know I sound crazy, Leesh. But you're friends are soo not good to you. So what they miss Massie? You miss Massie, too! You shouldn't be punished for it! And they'll never really let you be alpha! You'll always be Massie's old Beta. Even Massie had to go to a new school to become Alpha, Leesh. This is your chance to make alpha history."

I thought about it.

Maybe Olivia had actually said something… intelligent.

She was right.

Massie and her clique had history, and, when things turned sour, she didn't wait around for the explosion to come like we were. She put on her best Prada and a new Gucci bag and marched into OCD with the PC, ready to start over and become Alpha of her own clique.

With Massie as my shadow, I will never be able to become a true leader.

They'll always mumble, "Massie never did that" or "Massie could have done..."

And I'm tired of it.

I've tried to say something.

But all I got was the same as before.

Dylan in denial. Claire in tears. And Kristen leaving quietly to go play soccer or something.

They just wouldn't listen.

I had waited long enough.

I should form my own Clique.

Become alpha on my own.

But these are the girls…

Claire. Kristen. And Dylan.

Maybe we're all fighting and maybe we're all a bit cold to each other, but we've been friends for-ev-ah!

It would hurt so much to say goodbye…

And that weird feeling tugging at me.

That cruelness inside me.

I had seen it take over other alphas.

Was the PC keeping it from consuming me? Or would I be alright on my own?

"I don't know," I looked to my friendship bracelet made by Massie at our last sleepover.

"I may not know mathy stuff or anything. But I do know alpha. You have to end this before the school year if you plan on ending it. Or it'll take you all semester with new girls! And someone else might have already taken the spot!"

We are a ticking time bomb, I told myself, Just waiting to go off.

The School Year of Beginnings

Alicia,

This is like ripping off a band-aid. It will hurt like hell, but it needs to be done, I told myself, You are the hero. Now everyone can get on with their lives this year…

It didn't soften the blow any more though.

I straightened my white nightgown and re-did my high ponytail.

I wanted to look strong to them.

This was it for us after all.

Tomorrow morning, we would be old friends.

Claire would go to ADHD probably since they had a better drama program, and she would make new theater friends. Maybe she would become their alpha. Claire Lyons, queen of the actors. I could see it…

Dylan would go to PCMS and become closer to her famous friends. And she would probably spend most of her time in class cooking to follow her dream of becoming a professional chef, but I was sure her mom would pull her out at some point. And Dylan would be fine, I knew that.

Kristen was so busy with soccer that she barely noticed us anyway. She would keep up with that and claim her rightful spot as alpha of the soccer girls at PCMS, or maybe just cling on to her not-so-secret clique with Layne.

And I would take my spot as leader of the coolest clique in PCMS, itGirls.

I already had Olivia and there was this girl named CeCe.

Well, yes, it was Cecelia Peterson.

The Wanna-Be.

She had been a personal joke to the PC before, but this summer had changed Cecelia in almost every way.

She dyed her almost brown hair bright honey blond and had her mother's model stylist to make it perfect. She got a personal trainer to get rid of what everyone had assumed was bodyweight last semester, which had been the talk of the school, but Cecelia loved it because at least she was being talked about. She had gotten taller, and her dad let her get a nose job after she "broke it on a treadmill" when she really just hated it. CeCe also made a big deal that her name was CeCe now, not Cecelia. And she had the same sexy look that we liked.

And her sister Bay, the computer geek. She had potential. She was a natural beauty and a genius. I might have to teach her how to be in the in-crowd. But it wouldn't be that hard.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I looked down to my iphone.

Three new texts.

All from the PC saying they were on their way.

I took a deep breath as I filled the glass bowl and got out my CP,

"Why does this hurt so damn much? We haven't really been friends since Massie!"

But it was this horrible ache.

All of those memories. All of our old jokes. Everything from our years of friendship.

Gone…

Replaced by faded memories and photos on Facebook.

I wonder what it will feel like…

Tomorrow.

Going to school without them, meeting up with my new Clique and making it obvious we were here to rule. Riding home without the PC. Friday nights without Friday Night Sleepovers. Taking their pictures off the cork board and replacing them…

"Leesh?"

Dylan.

Her voice was pained. She knew what was happening, but she also knew it was for the best.

At least I didn't have to worry about hurting her feelings too much…

"Hey, Dylan. Did you bring it?"

"Uh, yeah, I did," Dylan adjusted her carnation red hair behind her ear and went to sit on the soft rug, where I sat beside her.

We sat in silence for while before she hesitantly began talking.

"I'm sorry we were always fighting," Dylan twisted her finger around one of her curls.

"Me, too,"

"We were good friends before…"

Before Massie left.

"Some people just can't handle it. I guess we're those people…"

An awkward silence filled the room, and we just sat on the plush shag rug, waiting for everyone else.

"Oh, hey, Guys," Kristen's brown eyes were watering as she sat down on the rug beside us.

She held her CP as if it was her lifeline, and I realized that this was killing them just as much as it killed me…

But I had to do it.

We had to move on…

And then Claire came in, almost sobbing like a lunatic.

Here we go…

I set the bowl of water in the middle of the rug, and I took my seat beside the girls.

You should go first, I told myself, as alpha.

But I just couldn't…

"I'll go-go first," Kristen paused before spraying the sweet smell of green apples into the air.

Dylan bit her red lower-lip before spraying the sweet scent that she had made her Claiming Perfume.

Claire looked like she might barf as she held up her perfume bottle and hesitated before spraying it, but, with her trembling fingers, she pressed the button on the bottle.

Everyone watched me.

And I had to force the strength to finish this.

I sprayed the Calvin Klein perfume into the glass bowl.

And something ached within me.

I can do this, I can do this, I told myself, Alphas have to make sacrifices. This is your first…

"I love you guys," Claire spoke first and fast, wanting to get that out there before everything went down and we were over.

"I love you guys, too," Dylan's eyes watered.

"Same here," Kristen let a stray tear fall down her rosy cheek.

I loved them, too.

"This is for the best," I told them. I wasn't lying. With ending this now, we could begin our new lives tomorrow and, by the end of the semester, I was sure that everything would be fine for us all…

Sometimes people have to take different paths.

I mentally called on Kelly Clarkson strength from Already Gone.

That's what we were.

Someone had to go down the road first.

And it would have to be me….

I could tell they all hated me for it though…

"Before we do this," Dylan spoke up, "I just want one more promise."

We all stared at her and silently urged her to continue.

"Don't forget about us. Don't forget about our good times. Or our bad times. Or our boys times…." Dylan choked back a cry, "Don't forget about Massie."

My heart broke.

And they all looked to me.

"Hands over the bowl,"

They all did.

You have to do it, you have to do it, I reminded myself.

"One."

They will be fine.

We all will be.

They'll find their respected cliques or whatever to choose to do, and they will live happily ever after.

The PC is holding them back…

"Two."

If you ever want to be the new Massie and escape her shadow, you will do this, Alicia.

"Three."

But maybe I don't.

It's too late now…

The Morning After…

I smiled as I spun around in my altered PCMS uniform that fit me perfectly, and I straightened my blazer over my blue dress. My dark black hair was curled around me, and my velvetly brown eyes were shining with the possibility of what could happen today.

I can be alpha!

I fastened my diamond and ruby necklace on my neck, and I was putting my drop down earrings on when I noticed the bracelet.

Massie's friendship bracelet…

I felt like I was going to puke as I looked at it.

It was just then that it finally sunk in.

The PC was over.

Claire was off to ADHD this morning and would easily take over the drama department. Kristen would barely notice that we were gone and would bond with her Soccer Sisters. And Dylan would get closer to those famous friends of hers.

We were all fine…

This was our new beginning.

New school, new chances.

I just had to say goodbye to the old.

I slid the bracelet off of my wrist and stared at it for a long time.

"I'm sorry, Mass. It had to be done. You left me here to be alpha, and now I have to be alpha," I told the picture of us all on the Cork board from when we took Massie to the airport.

She's gone forever, I know she is. That was really it for us, my brown eyes threatened to cry, and I had to remind myself of how long I spent applying eyeliner and the perfect amount of mascara to keep me from sobbing like a total LBR.

"Alicia, Olivia's mom is here!" my mom called through the intercom, and I adjusted my cute little knee socks to run down the stairs to see her.

Tomorrow, I would be the carpool, but only Olivia knew where everyone lived.

"Bye, Mom."

"Good luck, Darling!" my mom told me as I hurried out to Olivia's mom's Infiniti, and Olivia smiled wide as she saw me.

I slid into the backseat, and I took a look at the girls beside me.

"I'm Bay," a cute girl with long black hair smiled at me. Her hair was tied into a side braid, and she didn't wear much make-up. But she was so naturally beautiful…

And so nice.

I liked her already, though I knew she may not be right for our new image.

"And I'm CeCe," CeCe flipped her newly-blonde hair, smiling a devilish smile.

And she's in, too.

"I'm Alicia," I smiled a confident smile, and they seemed to buy in to it.

I finally felt it.

That alpha high.

I was their alpha. I didn't have to be compared to Massie anymore. I was Alicia, Alicia and was their leader without a doubt.

And I luhved the feeling.

A new Alpha had been born. Someone else would tell my story when they were deciding to leave their old group to become alpha on their own. Sure, when people thought about Middle School, they would think about Massie.

But, when they thought about High School, they would think about me.

Alicia Rivera.

The it girl.

That was our name!

itGirls.

It's what we are…

And no one will be able to doubt it!

"Turn it to 97.7," I smiled as I leaned back into my seat and put my sunglasses on.

I had this almost all written out before, but I lost my files during a computer break a few months ago. And I wasn't sure where to go with this.

So I decided to show what happened with the PC.

How they were fighting. How they worried that their alpha was growing away from them. Why Alicia decided to end it.

And I kind of wanted to show the moment that lead Alicia to be who she became.