(((Sorry this took so long, guys. Had some bad news, but so much good news and then tremendously great news this week! The notes and questions you guys keep sending for encouragement and curiosity have kept me going and I can't thank you enough! I hope everyone who celebrates the Festival of Lights is having a very Happy Channukah and those of you that celebrate Alban Arthuan/Yule/Solstice are getting ready for a wonderful holiday and those of you that celebrate Christmas (like me) are preparing to give more than you receive and have lots of love to surround you! Call someone you haven't spoken to in a while and hug someone . . . just for yourself! And no, my friends, we're only at the middle of this story, not close to the end at all!)))
Chapter 25: Unbiased Preconceptions
Darcy remained absolutely silent as the group traveled quickly to the other side of New York. She closed her eyes after seeing only a few feet of the horrific devastation and hearing the shouting coupled with wails and screams. She looked down and noticed a few tears slip out of the trickster's eyes and her heart began to ache a little. Whoever had their hold on him, however small it had been, it was almost gone from him now, and the brother that Thor had described to them in New Mexico long before the Destroyer had shown them the aggression of other worlds was starting to surface yet again. She sighed and folded her arms, turning away from him to keep too great a measure of pity from forming. He had done terrible things. No matter what had been done to him aforehand he was still at fault for so much destruction. Rogers gave directions as best he could, allowing Stark to maneuver through the less ruined parts of the island as they headed swiftly into the mainland over the Brooklyn Bridge. The rest of the journey was vague for Darcy who was still computing all of these events and her role, whatever it had been, throughout the entire wreck that made up the past few days. She barely recognized the moment they arrived in the other large city, a commonplace formation for New York itself, and found herself quite dazed as the Captain gave orders for their arrangements.
Stark emphasized their need to celebrate and Selvig offered to stay with Loki, being a man with minimal medical training and an individual that would gladly take on the maimed trickster in combat if he began to stir again (given the nightmare that he had been put through by him already). Darcy mindlessly offered to stay behind as well, emphasizing her skill with her taser but not mentioning that Loki was probably the only creature that knew of its whereabouts, though she still wasn't sure why. Something lay in the back of her mind, perhaps something the trickster had left behind while he had been within her subconscious on those two memorable occasions. Selvig settled into a corner in the basement, holding his small laptop and pouring over information adding some notes of his own while Darcy sat silently glancing over at Loki every now and again. He was lying very still and breathing so very shallowly that she found herself afraid that he might stop breathing entirely at any moment. She realized that his eyes were closed and it had been a good five seconds since she had seen his chest rise or fall. She scooted closer and placed a hand carefully on his chest. He let out a grunt in pain and opened his eyes a fraction, drawing in another shallow breath. Darcy frowned at him and tried to form a scowl, but given all of the inhumanity she had seen and heard, she didn't feel like being a part of it at all even if it meant addressing a significant part of the source of it all. No, what the city, the world, and even this creature needed now was nothing but compassion and the best humankind had to offer.
"Is he saying anything?" Banner's voice interrupted Darcy's thoughts as he approached. She turned and shook herself, pulling her hand away from Loki's chest. She felt a set of cold, weak fingers wrap around her hand before she could pull it away fully and turned around. He had managed to move one arm and take hold of her hand, gripping it as best he could as another few tears streamed down the sides of his face. "Not sure if these are crocodile tears in the emotional sense, but you have got to be in a world of hurt that science hasn't ever explored," Banner remarked. Darcy noted a look of terror forming in Loki's eyes as he suddenly registered who it was that had joined them. He released her hand and she could tell that he was trying to muster strength to get away from the man. Banner seemed to recognize this as well as he knelt, opening a metal chest that held an array of advanced medical supplies. "Don't worry. The other guy isn't looking for a fight at the moment. He's still pretty happy with what he already did to you."
"And are you happy with such things as well?" Loki asked in a saddened rasp. Darcy turned and watched Banner frown, sighing as he reached in and withdrew a syringe filled with clear fluid marked 'diacetylmorphine'. Darcy adjusted her glasses as her eyes widened. Whatever Loki had gone through in the other realms, they were about to be made incredibly pale by comparison to this trip.
"No," Banner replied flatly, almost sadly. He reached down to a tear in the trickster's armor and cloth nearest his shoulder blade, turning him and swabbing the exposed skin that wasn't broken and bleeding. "That kind of thing doesn't make me happy." With that, he plunged the needle into the immortal's flesh and Loki for the first time knew the small yet incredibly painful and irritating sting that he had either directly or indirectly forced Darcy to endure. He coughed, unable to draw in a breath deep enough to compensate for the searing pain that the chemical created as it burned deep into his muscle. Banner sighed and cleaned up the surrounding area with peroxide and gauze before dressing it and allowing him to lie back on his back fully. Banner placed a hand on the trickster's shoulder and frowned. "Look, there was something wrong with you before, something else. I don't know how to word it to anyone else but you're not like you were, your eyes, even they're different."
"Someone else has been threatening him for a while from somewhere out in space," Darcy added quickly, remembering what she had heard and surmised briefly from the vision with him. Banner turned to her and gave her a look that asked her to expound. She shrugged. "That's it, that's all I really know about it. He hasn't told me who it was, why they wanted the cube, and what all they expected him to do here for them," she said. Banner sighed and nodded, slowly standing. "But I do think we can pretty much count on the fact they weren't going to let him have hold of the earth for very long, even he was going to get shafted in the end and he seems pretty desperate to have someone to rule over so that was his only option and he went for it."
"I doubt that's all there is to it, but you might be on to something," Banner said with a kind nod to her. "You seem more . . . comfortable with him. Let that start to work and when he's not hurting so much maybe you can find out what really happened before everyone else decides what they really want to do."
"Why do you want to know what happened or help him at all? I mean, I know about the Hippocratic Oath and all, but that doesn't apply to aliens or mass-subjugating psychopaths, does it?" Darcy asked in confusion.
Banner smirked. "Do you know how I keep the other guy under control as often as I do?" he asked. Darcy shook her head. He chuckled. "I don't try to stay calm, I'm always angry. That's the secret, I just get used to being angry. The tricky part about that, though, is being angry at the right things. I can't be angry at someone if they didn't know what they were doing," he explained. Darcy sat more upright at this and glanced back at Loki who seemed to be breathing more calmly than before. "After all, if Dr. Selvig and Agent Barton were held under some kind of spell, who's to say that someone else didn't get a hold on him?"
"But he's stronger than they were, are, I mean," Darcy argued. She believed what Banner said to be true, she just wasn't sure how a creature as strong as Loki or Thor could be so enslaved. "That would've taken something a lot stronger, right?"
"Right," Banner replied as he closed to chest and made his way back up the stairs. "So strong we probably wouldn't have been able to see it, and neither would he. The smartest predators leave the fewest marks, the fewest traces."
"Like tigers re-using their own tracks," Darcy reasoned aloud. "Or polar bears blending with snow."
"Just make a mental note of anything he says," Banner added before he stepped onto the first stair. He glanced over at Selvig for a moment. "Try not to exert yourself too much, Erik. You've had a pretty bad head injury after days of some pretty severe trauma. I don't want you getting all wibbly-wobbly on me."
"I'm a little bit more aware of my limitations than you, Bruce," Selvig said with a wink. Darcy had learned that Dr. Selvig and Dr. Banner had been colleagues and friends long before either had worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. and now it seemed as though no time had passed at all between them. Banner smiled and shook his head as he moved slowly up the stairs. "But bring the kid something to eat, alright? She's heading right for anorexia if she keeps up the way she has for the past three days."
"It's not my fault I lost my appetite while I was being held captive by Darth Hater and his minions," Darcy muttered unhappily. She scooted back over to where Loki lay, propped against a few blankets that Natasha and Banner had insisted upon using and a pillow that Rogers had willingly offered. Loki had thought to himself through the burning pain and overwhelming guilt coupled with shame and anger, that it was odd that these creatures were not immediately torturing him or had tried to execute him. Thor was likely behind the later and they lacked creativity meaning they were most likely to regroup and concoct more sinister tortures before inflicting anything on him. But why make him comfortable, why try and aid his recovery in the meantime? It was all very confusing and made his head hurt more than what was left of it already did. Darcy sighed and reached out for his hand once more. To her relief he seemed very willing to take it, wrapping his long, pale, and frighteningly cold fingers around hers. She breathed deeply and softly stroked the backs of his fingers with her thumb, watching him carefully as she noted the pain-killer taking effect.
"Do you hate me?" he suddenly asked.
"What?" Darcy replied in shock. Why in the world would he be concerned about it let alone vocalize it?
"It was not a complex query, Darcy Lewis," Loki continued slowly and deliberately. He turned his gaze, unable to move his head very well, but displaying the deepest of sincerity she had ever seen in him to her. "Do you hate me?"
"No," she replied quickly. Loki would have interpreted speed in most instances to imply a lack of thought and genuine nature, but in mortals it bore quite the opposite meaning in most instances. She scooted closer, clenching her hand tighter around his. "I'm still pretty pissed off at you, but I don't hate you. Hate's like the worst thing in the world, it's love but it's all twisted around. It's like the ultimate perversion. I mean, I want you to be sorry for what you did, but I didn't want you to be this sorry," she said gesturing to his limp form. "At least not while I was looking anyway. I mean, yeah, I completely thought about tying into you and I kind of enjoyed those couple of times I tased you which weren't nearly as bad as the tasing I gave your brother I should add, but I wouldn't just hurt you, I don't want to hurt anyone or hate anyone, either; I don't hate anybody. No one should."
"You truly confound me," Loki said softly, furrowing his brow at her.
"Why, because I don't have the same juvenile penchant for the my daddy's gonna beat up your daddy complex you have?" she replied.
"That is, in truth, in no way applicable to my circumstance," he replied with an almost irritated sigh. "You have been repeatedly wounded by me or those I command, you have been thoroughly threatened, denied freedom, food, water, comfort, and still you boldly faced me. Your anger grew, I saw your expressions wax more incensed by the minute in the tower, particularly with your innocence in question, and yet here you kneel . . . not as you knelt before me in the tunnels, but as a friend, as a balm. You seek my help, tenderness, and for reasons that I cannot fathom you seem to not question it one wit."
"Actually I am kind of wondering if I've got temporary Stockholm Syndrome or something, but really you didn't do anything as terrible as you could have," Darcy remarked. Loki noted that her vision seemed to drift off into something else. "You still made sure I was alright even when you wanted me to kneel for you."
"No one can kneel while faltering with illness or undirected fear," he said with a slight laugh. There was very little room for him to laugh or speak loudly with breathing being so laborious. Darcy watched as his pupils began to grow smaller and his breathing grew easier. A slight smile crossed his lips. "I still do not understand what prowess allowed you to elude the grip of the gem from the Infinity Gauntlet," he mused. His eyes suddenly widened and he gripped her hand more tightly, staring at her in horror as he covered his mouth slightly with the other hand. "My father can never know it was missing from the vault! He'll beat me within an inch of my life every day of my life until he loses strength!"
"I think that ship might've already sailed there, Loki," Darcy remarked. "Thor kind of knows and I don't think he's going to leave that part out when you guys get home."
"Home," Loki whispered. His eyes swelled with tears once again and he relaxed back onto the floor and sobbed slightly. "I have no home. I was king, my mother gave me my birthright and I was betrayed by the only three friends I had in the world while Thor was exiled for assaulting the Jotuns against father's wishes. I could've ruled with honor, I did rule with kindness. No one feared me, why should they? There were only four, no, five traitors. And they will never be dealt with," he said trailing off into another soft sob. Darcy stared at him in disbelief. Thor had admitted openly that he had been exiled for attacking a race of creatures against his father's wishes. He had also mentioned briefly that his friends had broken the law in coming to retrieve him. "There is nothing for me on Asgard . . . no father, no mother, no friends . . ."
"Oh my goodness," Darcy whispered. "They committed treason? Thor committed treason?!"
"Twice," Loki muttered. "Once against the All-Father and then once against that wicked Loki."
"So he wasn't exaggerating," she thought aloud. "I mean you did lie to him about your dad being dead, but didn't it turn out that everyone thought he was going to die so it was only half a lie? Thor was never supposed to go home until your father woke up, was he? That's why that thing came here . . . it was sent to make sure that the king wouldn't be disobeyed a second time in case . . ." Darcy's eyes widened in a horrific realization. Thor had been quite violent when they had approached him in the desert and had only stifled his rage when he learned that humans were far weaker. " . . . in case he tried to do to us what he did to those ice giants."
"Something like that," Loki muttered. The lie that he had convinced himself poured from his bloodied lips as truth for the time being. Yes, the Destroyer had been enforcing the 'king's' command, making sure that Thor could not do the same damage that he had done so many times before. Loki smirked inwardly as the last remnants of his consciousness gave way to the elixir of Morpheus. He grasped Darcy's hand once more as tightly as he could manage. The scepter might not have worked, but her strange compassion that seemed as chaotic as the very schemes within his own mind, they were beginning to form the most perfect conclusions. If he could make her see his plight, make her see what had been done to him, then he would have the most powerful ally anyone on earth could have hoped to have had. Fie on the armor, shield, weapons, and rage that fueled their 'Mightiest Heroes'. The real power, the real protection and potent offense lay in the mind and spirit of a woman with noble cause. Darcy situated herself next to him, glancing back at Selvig for a moment who seemed too engrossed in his work yet again. Why in the world the heroes thought he would make a suitable watch when he could barely pry himself away from a project enough to give himself the necessary answers to the calls of nature on a regular basis was beyond her. Still, no one expected the battered trickster to cause much of a stir and they certainly didn't expect much from him with Darcy there to electrocute or engage him in diverting conversation. Rogers and Natasha both had asserted, along with Thor's agreement, that this was her contribution to their team and it was a very welcomed one. Now, it would undergo as drastic a transformation as the trickster himself. Darcy laid down next to him and frowned, looking at the wounds still on his face and shoulders that Thor had done his best to treat and dress before Banner had given him relief from the pain.
"I wish I could see what had a hold of you and what really happened," she muttered. "I know what it's like for no one to listen to you, to be just kind of shoved aside even when you know what you're doing."
"I can show you," he offered with a fond smile, turning his neck to face her for the first time, clearly unaffected by any pain that had been there before. She watched as his eyes began to glow a brighter and more crystalline green. "I can let you in the same way I found my own way into you."
"You mean, let me get into your mind?" she asked confusedly.
"Precisely," he replied. "It would be the most efficient way for you to create your own conclusions, after all. Seeing it without bias would be most fair, don't you agree?"
"Okay," Darcy said, shifting uncomfortably and then sighing. "But don't get all wierded out if your dream ends in a huge Bollywood musical number . . . I can't control that sometimes."
"That's fair," Loki remarked, unaware of what she meant but unconcerned with it as well. "Just relax and close your eyes . . . and let your breaths mirror my own. I can do the rest."
"Right," Darcy said with a heavy sigh. "The mind of an otherworldly magic-user who's been through hell, tried to take over the world, been smashed into bits, and is now swimming in a sea of a synthetic opiate . . . this should be more fun than Space Mountain."