The drive up to Theo's parents involves Nardole driving up with Jack, while Missy, River, Bill and Charlie pile into Missy's car once again. Jack has insisted on coming with them as a safety measure, and Theo and Missy aren't arguing. Their eyes keep going to Charlie, and Bill knows they must be thinking about how Saxon had physically managed to get to her, to find her. John and Emil are taking their own car.

"You sure you're all good with this?" Bill asks Nardole before they leave.

"Be in the middle of the family drama? No thanks," Nardole scoffs. He looks at Jack and grins. "Besides, it's been ages since Jack and I hung out on our own. We'll have fun."

Jack claps him on the shoulder and grins back. "I've missed our conversations."

"I bet you have," Nardole replies suggestively, and Jack smirks.

Realising that Jack and Nardole have undoubtedly had sex at some point, and are possibly planning on doing so again, Bill makes a face and leaves them to it.

Theo and Missy and River are having a rather in depth conversation, so Bill bypasses them and climbs into the car to join Charlie on the backseat. She's texting.

"Hey," Bill says, a bit awkwardly, but with a smile. "How are you doing? It's all a bit nuts."

"Yeah, but I asked for it," Charlie says with a shrug. "I'm currently making up some story so that my friend Devan doesn't lose their mind worrying about me. Which is tricky since I was already way out of whack after last night and they know it."

"Well, fingers crossed it'll all be worked out soon," Bill tells her.

Charlie nods, locking her phone. "What are they like? My grandparents."

"They're amazing," Bill says, and she nudges Charlie's shoulder with her own. "And they're going to love you. So much. Your grandmother was literally saying how much she wished your dad had had kids, because she thought he'd be a good dad."

"He is," Charlie murmurs. "He's - he's not perfect, what with his complete inability to stay still and his weird urges to randomly go travelling. But I wouldn't want him any other way. Perfect is stupid."

"I gave up on perfect ages ago," Bill agrees. "So not worth the effort. I have to ask, though, what's your mum like? As a mum, I mean?"

Charlie smiles a bit more widely. "She's-" She laughs. "Well, she's mad as ten boxes of cats, but she's everything I could have wanted."

Bill knows she should be surprised, but she just isn't, perhaps due to what she's observed of Missy and Charlie's relationship.

"She cares about you so much."

"Too much, sometimes, I think," Charlie replies, with a half smile. "It's probably good there's dad and my uncles to keep her in check."

There's a brief pause.

"So… what did you think of Susan? You've met her, right?"

Bill blinks at her. "Uh, yeah. Why?"

Charlie makes a face and crosses her leg over her knee. "I dunno. Just - she's all sweet, right? Trying to gauge what they'll be expecting in a granddaughter. Because from what I've heard about Susan, I'm just… not. I'm not any of that. I feel like they'll be disappointed - I'm such an asshole, there's no way they-"

"They know any kid of Theo's is going to be River's or Missy's, if they're expecting some sweet normal kid from either of those combinations, then they're idiots," Bill points out.

Charlie snorts. "Okay that's… a good point. And they know River can't have kids, probably, so they know it would be Mum's level of crazy." She takes a deep breath. "Okay. Maybe I'll be alright."

"They'll love you," Bill says again, and Charlie offers her a smile as the other three finally got in the car.

"Took you long enough, what were you three doing, drawing up a strategy plan for the entire War of the Roses?" Charlie asks them.

"Oh, very funny, did it take you the whole four minutes to think of that?" Theo retorts, with his trademark scathing sarcasm.

Charlie makes a face at him, sticking out her tongue, and he snorts. She grins.

"She gets that from you," Missy tells him as she buckles herself into the driver's seat and Theo gets into the passenger side.

"Oh yes, because grand passive aggressive statements of impatience have never left your lips," River says to Missy as she gets into the back with Charlie and Bill and gives them a wink.

Bill and Charlie share a grin as Missy gets the car started and they finally head off.

And so, their entourage of three cars heads for the village where Idris and Edwin live, and after making some brusque replies to attempts at conversation with her, Charlie puts in her headphones and spends the rest of the journey staring out the window with an unreadable expression she's clearly learned from her father. Her body is tense, though, and Bill can't blame her for being nervous.

Bill can hear the music a bit from the headphones, and it sounds like a version of The Pretender with female vocals. Figures. With a leather jacket tied around her waist and jeans tucked into boots, Charlie's certainly the picture of a punk teenager.

It reminds Bill a bit of Ashildr's whole aesthetic, actually.

Oh. Now that's a point.

"How are you feeling?" Bill asks Theo. "Because I just realised you still need to tell Clara and Ashildr about Charlie, and Clara is going to absolutely kick your arse."

She sees Theo wince in the rear view mirror, and hears him curse under his breath.

"In which case, I'll break her hand," Missy says in a mild tone. "I'm sure she'll be immensely displeased, but she'll have to get over it."

"I almost told her, once, a few years ago," Theo says quietly, and they look at him with surprise. "She nearly overheard something she shouldn't have, and I was so close to just-" He sighs. "But I couldn't. Not without discussing it with you first, Missy. So I lied. Like we always did."

Missy says nothing, but Bill thinks she can see a quiet gratitude in her eyes, though on this angle it's hard to be sure.

Finally, the cars pull up outside the funny little cottage and they get out.

"Charlie, stay out of sight," Theo says, and so as they approach the blue door of the house, Charlie stays behind a pseudo wall of River, Missy and Bill. Nardole and Jack hang back at the edge of the garden, and John and Emil stand behind Charlie, with protective posture that Bill has to wonder if they're even fully aware of.

Theo takes a deep breath as they stop in front of the door, and River touches his arm while Missy touches the small of his back ever so gently.

He knocks on the door.

There's the sound of a crash, and a shouted exclamation and an indignant reply, before the door opens about ten seconds later.

Idris, dishevelled as ever, blinks at the sight of Theo and everyone else.

"Theo," she says, baffled, "but you were only here yesterday."

"I know," Theo says. "But I need to talk to you. Both of you. Dad!"

A few seconds later, Edwin shuffles into the doorway just behind Idris, and scowls at him.

"Do not summon me like a dog, Theodore, a simple 'Father, please would you come to the door' would suffice," he sniffs. "Now, what in the world are you doing here? And is that John and Emil? And who else?"

Theo swallows and looks them both dead in the eye.

"Mum, Dad, I have to tell you something, and it's probably something I should have told you a long time ago," Theo says slowly.

They both frown at him. He makes a face.

"I have a good reason for keeping it a secret, but I have no idea if it's good enough," he continues, voice tight, "and I'm probably going to spend the rest of my life wondering whether or not it was the right thing to do, but I just - I was so scared. I was so scared and I didn't know what else to do."

"We didn't know what else to do," Missy adds, from behind him, and their gazes briefly flick to her.

"Theo, what is this?" Edwin asks, with concern. "Why did you need a whole group of backup?"

"They're my family as much as you are, Dad," Theo replies. "Now please, let me explain. Eighteen years ago a thing happened. Missy and I were hurt, as you know, and terrified, and so to minimise the risk, we made that thing our greatest secret. But it's time for that to stop."

With that he steps aside, and so does Missy, and Charlie is directly in Idris and Edwin's line of sight.

"This is Charlie," Theo says softly. "Charlotte Millennia-"

"Quiet," Edwin says, cutting him off, staring at Charlie with a furrowed brow.

It's clear by their faces that Edwin and Idris have been able to discern Charlie's parentage by a single glance. They both look like they've been hit by a train, or are about to be.

"Hi," Charlie says, hesitantly, with a tiny awkward wave.

"You're-"

"Yep," Missy says.

Idris moves forward slowly, a burning curiosity in her eyes as she tilts her head and regards Charlie.

"Hello," she says to Charlie, and an odd giggle escapes the odd woman, which in turn triggers a few tears in her eyes. "Oh goodness. Look at you."

Everyone is completely still except for her and Charlie.

"I've heard so much about you," Charlie says.

"And I nothing about you," Idris says to her, and she reaches out to cup Charlie's face in her hand. "And yet - you're one of mine, and I never knew."

"I'm sorry, Mum-"

"Quiet, Theodore," Edwin snaps. He then looks at Charlie with a softer expression. "Good lord. It's remarkable. Charlie, was it?"

"Yeah," Charlie says, "it's… god, it's so good to actually meet you - oh!" Idris had wrapped her in a crushing hug. "Oh," she says again, and her voice wavers.

Theo is watching with a few tears running down his cheeks and a little relieved smile on his lips. Missy has a vice grip on his hand and is smiling softly. River's smile is wider, her eyes fiercely happy and proud.

Edwin's hand comes onto Charlie's shoulder, and as she turns to look at him, Bill can see that she has tears in her eyes.

"I am going to have many a stern word with your father, and your mother, for that matter," Edwin says to Charlie, before a twinkle enters his eye, "but I am very glad to meet you."

Bill feels the need to look away, feels like she's intruding again. That's when she sees River staring at Charlie with an odd kind of shock.

"Are you ok?" Bill asks River quietly.

"I-" River bites her lip. "I've just never seen her actually cry before. I've known her since she was five years old and - even when she was small and hurt herself she never cried. I've seen her come close a few times recently, but-" She shrugs, an uncommon look of perplexment on her face. "I don't know if I'm relieved to find out she's actually capable of it, or worried before it's so drastically different."

"Weird," Bill says.

Sure enough, all four of Charlie's guardians seem rather shocked as well.

"And what do you have to do all of this, John? Emil? You knew about this, where we didn't?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, old chap. We were the backup," John replies. "When Theo was overseas and Missy was… not at her best. And also Charlotte's full time guardians for the last couple of years, since her parents chose to return to the limelight."

Emil nods. "I do apologise profusely for the deception. It was all in the interest of keeping her existence a secret from that horrid Saxon man, however, and while I'm not sure it's a choice I'd make again, I stand by it. And yes, upon my sister and Theo making the plans that led to Event Horizon, it was decided it was best that Charlotte come to live with us, lest Lissy's house and its privacy be breached, and so she might have full time guardianship in the meantime."

There's a moment where Edwin and Idris exchange a look, as the latter releases Charlie partially, still holding her forearms.

"Well that makes sense, on a logical level, I suppose," Idris says, her voice odd in tone.

Edwin looks at Missy with alarm. "But she's not-"

"Of course she isn't, Edwin, look at her," Idris interrupts. Edwin looks at Charlie again, and his small smile returns.

"Of course," he says, voice a bit thick.

"We were more than able to continue her education," John continues, "but she actually does her assigned work, thankfully."

"That's because Mum used to sit on me if I didn't," Charlie retorts. "And if I was really badly behaved, it would be ticking from her nails of death. I learned a decent work ethic pretty quickly after that."

Bill looks at Missy's trimmed nails and lifts an eyebrow. Missy smirks.

"I wasn't bedding any pretty girls back then, motherhood was a bit more pressing," Missy replies, and Edwin rolls his eyes while Idris laughs.

"What did you do?" Bill asks Theo.

Theo's face falls a bit. "I, uh, wasn't there. For a lot of it."

"He stopped in from time to time, with his shiny new wife," Missy says, snorting, "I didn't mind, that was one of our off spells."

"It lasted six years," Theo retorts.

"Six years, and eight hate sex marathons," River remarks, and everyone turns to stare at her. She makes a face and shrugs coyly. "Not that I was in any way involved, or counting."

"I was so mentally scarred as a child," Charlie says with a shudder. "I learned how to knock pretty quickly, though."

Nardole and Jack cover their giggles, while Idris and Edwin turn glares onto Theo and Missy, and both get the look of scolded children.

"You know we only want you to do whatever makes you happy-"

"Or who makes you happy-"

"Really, Idris-"

"What?"

"But honestly," Edwin finishes, looking at Charlie meaningfully.

"Accidents happen, Dad," Theo says defensively. "It's fine, she wasn't quite old enough to understand."

"But now I am, and may I just say on the behalf of everyone, ew," Charlie interrupts, and Bill grins.

"Seconded," Emil agrees with a shudder.

"Oh, don't get me started on you two," Charlie says with a roll of her eyes. "Why do you think I got those really expensive headphones like a month after I moved in? I didn't need to be able to work out that your safe word is 'neutron'."

John flushes deep scarlet and starts spluttering something about 'now see here young lady that's hardly-' only to give up.

Emil lifts an eyebrow at her. "How many times do I have to tell you that embarrassing others for the sake of your own amusement and ego is beneath you, Charlotte?" he asks.

"And how many times do I have to respond with 'do you recall who my fucking mother is?'" she retorts.

Bill and River choke on laughs and Missy smirks.

Charlie then winces and glances at Idris and Emil, clearly having realised she had just sworn in front of her grandparents.

"Uh, sorry…?" she says, and it sounds like it's hard for her to say, like it isn't a word that often leaves her mouth.

Edwin clasps her by the shoulder. "Don't worry, my dear, we raised your father in Scotland, remember? We believe cursing to be a form of self expression, so long as it isn't to such a constant degree to replace actual intelligent conversation."

Charlie slowly grins, her eyes warm. "Okay. That's… that's brilliant. Thank fuck for that."

Edwin arches an eyebrow at her.

"Too much?" Charlie asks.

"Perhaps," he replies, but his lips are twitching. "I'm just trying to picture what sort of abstract metaphysical creature a 'fuck' might be, that one might thank it."

There's a brief moment of silence before Idris, Theo, and Missy collapse into laughter. It doesn't take long for the others to crack too.

Once everyone manages to compose themselves, Edwin ushers everyone inside.

Idris makes everyone tea or coffee, and given the limited space at the dining table, Jack chooses to stand by one of the windows that looks out over the garden. He still stays in the conversation, but Bill can see that his posture is more deliberately held, his eyes sharp and more careful - he's still very much on duty.

Once everyone is settled, Edwin puts his hands on Theo's shoulder.

"May we talk?" He looks at Missy. "With you as well, Melissa."

"Of course," Missy replies. It's plain she had expected as much, and it's the same for Theo, who simply nods in reply.

Edwin, Idris, Theo and Missy leave the room and head upstairs.

"So they are still going to get bollocked, then," Nardole says, and River shrugs.

"Couldn't be avoided," she says, sighing, "I don't imagine it will be particularly forceful. They just need to talk about it. This is no small thing."

Her gaze slides to Charlie, more just on instinct than to make any sort of point, and Charlie just nods and gives an odd, sheepish sort of shrug that lacks her usual confidence.

River covers her hand with her own. "Are you alright, darling?"

Charlie retracts her hand. "I'm fine," she says, uncomfortably. "You don't have to worry about me, River, jesus. Why wouldn't I be fine? Things are going pretty good, all things considered, as far as I can tell."

"You seemed a little overwhelmed, is all, which is perfectly understandable," John tells her.

"I'm fine," Charlie says, a bit more forcefully.

"I'm glad to hear it," Emil replies mildly, before his gaze falls onto Bill. "Now, we didn't get much of a chance to properly be introduced, back at the mansion, with everything else going on. I must say that it is delightful to finally be able to meet you, Miss Potts. And you, Mr Dellora."

"God, please don't call me Mr Dellora, that makes me sound like some man in a business suit," Nardole says, making a face, "or my foster father. Nardole is just fine, thank you."

"Of course."

"It's cool to meet you too," Bill says, smiling at him. "Been pretty curious about you for a while, with how weird Missy is. You're a lot more normal than what I was expecting."

"Not too normal, I should hope, that sounds tragically dull," Emil says with a charming smile.

John smirks at him. "I don't think anyone at this table, least of all the two of us, are in too much danger of that."

"Perhaps not," his husband replies, smiling back.

"So what do you two actually do? I just realised I have no idea. Are you musical at all?" Bill asks.

The both of them start laughing a little.

"Oh yes, that's how we met," John tells her. "A classic rivalry, between the strings and brass section."

"So a classical rivalry, then," Nardole corrects, only to get an eye roll from River, even though John and Emil seem amused by the pun.

"I'm first violin for the London Symphony orchestra," Emil says to Bill, in a tone that makes her think it was once something he would brag about, but has since learned humility. "My husband here leads the trumpet section. It was not always a harmonious point of difference."

"That's putting it mildly," John remarks.

Emil smiles. "But the chemistry was always there, if sometimes a little misguided."

"Eventually, our conductor got so entirely fed up with us that he locked us in a practice room together until we sorted it out," John says, chuckling, "though in hindsight I don't think he expected us to-"

He trails off as he looks at Charlie and flushes a little.

"They had passionate life changing sex against the upright piano," Charlie drawls.

"Charlotte!"

"What? I know this story, as you seem to keep forgetting in an attempt to preserve my already obliterated innocence."

Emil sighs. "She's right, dear, this is the second time this has happened."

John frowns. "Oh. Dear. I think you may be right."

"Of course I'm right, everyone in my family is an oversexed weirdo," Charlie says, rolling her eyes. "Including my incredibly demisexual father, which is just ridiculous, really. Makes me wonder if I'm really related to any of you at all."

"Oh, so that's how you're the rebel of the family," River says, laughing.

Bill is confused until Charlie notices and lifts her arm, drawing her attention to a woven bracelet in the asexuality pride colours.

"Oh, neat," Bill says.

Charlie quirks her eyebrow for a moment in a kind of recognition, and goes back to texting.

There's a brief silence.

"Well, it doesn't sound like anybody is getting murdered," Nardole says. "So maybe we're almost past all the-"

"Car's pulling up," Jack says suddenly, "I can't see who - ah okay, it's Irving. Or what do the others call him? Brax?"

He moves to open the door.

"Ah, Mr Harkness, of course," Brax says in greeting, as he walks into the house and dining room. "And the whole gang is here. How charming."

It's impossible to tell if he's being sincere or not. There's something about him, an aura of charm that doesn't quite feel genuine.

His smile fades a fraction when his gaze falls onto Charlie. It only takes a moment to return, but there's something weirdly satisfying about seeing him, someone that Bill could only instinctively describe as a 'swarmy bastard', be thrown, even if just for a second.

"Remarkable," he says, crossing the room to the table while Charlie gets to her feet, eyeing him with a mix of curiosity and uncertainty, and possibly suspicion as well. "I can see why they took such pains to keep you hidden, now. I'm-" He makes a face, and lets out an odd chuckle. "Well, I suppose I'm your Uncle Irving. But everyone calls me Brax, and you are welcome to do so as well."

"Uncle Brax, then?" Charlie asks, lifting an eyebrow.

He smirks. "If you like." He holds out his hand to her, and she looks faintly relieved as she moves to shake it.

"Charlotte Millennia Masters-Smith," Charlie says, and his eyebrow cocks a little. She smirks back at him. "But everyone just calls me Charlie. Or Trouble. Or 'what the fuck is wrong with you'."

"They do not," River says.

"Like you would know," Charlie retorts.

"Alright, edgelord, we get it, you're a teenage weirdo and definitely your mother's daughter," Nardole says, rolling his eyes. "But you've got miles to go on her subtlety."

Charlie clutches her hand to her chest, in what is almost a swoon. "You already know me so well," she says, and to Bill's amazement, tears have actually welled up in her eyes, even if the melodrama in her actions makes it obvious they aren't brought on by real emotion.

Nardole merely lifts an eyebrow at her, while John smothers his laugh with a cough, River does nothing to hide hers, and Emil simply smiles with fond amusement.

Bill just stares. "Did you just cry on cue?"

Charlie winks at her. "Works on Dad every time. No one else, though."

"Well, it's certainly not going to work on me," Brax says, sniffing at her. "Impressive as it may be."

"Oh, I'd never dream of mocking you, or lying to you, Uncle Dearest," Charlie says, blinking at him, voice still too over the top to be quite believable.

Brax lifts an eyebrow. "Perish the thought."

There's an odd moment of silence, where it seems that he and Charlie are seizing each other up, two probable Slytherins assessing each other in every possible way. It's a bizarre thing to witness. Bill half expects them to start circling each other like in some dramatic movie.

"I'm keeping my eye on you, Charlotte," Brax says eventually, and she just smirks.

"You can try," she says.

That's when the others return from upstairs.

"Irving!" Edwin says with surprise. "What a - wait. Does this mean you were in on this too? We've been assured there were only-"

"No, father dearest, I can assure you that I only found out today, thanks to that article and my own research," Brax tells him smoothly. "I've invited Max along as well, since he ought to know. He, however, has no idea why he's been summoned here. I wished to see the look on his face."

Idris looks at him with disapproval. "You enjoy vexing him too much."

"He makes it far too easy, mother," Brax replies, smiling at her. "Besides, it will be nice to have us all together again, however briefly."

Theo rolls his eyes where he and Missy are standing behind Idris, who smiles at Brax and pulls him into a hug. Edwin doesn't look so easy to accept Brax's supposedly heartfelt sentiment, but he seems pleased that Idris is happy.

Charlie heads towards her parents, and appears to ask about whether the talk went alright.

Theo nods and uses one arm to hug her into his side, making her smile, and Missy meanwhile brushes some hair out of her face only to get pulled into a hug from Charlie, resulting in a group embrace that makes Bill want to cry just from observing it.

She looks away, and sees River smiling softly at the trio.

"Alright?" Bill asks her.

River nods, eyes shining with a soft warmth. "I've waited for this day for a long time. They've earned it."

That's when the front door bangs open, and Max strides in, and Bill notices Jack wince and look annoyed with himself (he must have gotten distracted from his supposed duty of watching the front garden).

"Irving Braxiatel Smith, you'd better explain to me at once why I have been summoned here with absolutely zero explanation-"

Max stops dead as his gaze falls on Charlie, who is standing with Theo and Missy behind each of her shoulders.

His mouth opens and closes several times, but no sound comes out.

"You'll catch flies doing that, Max, dearest," Idris tells him gently, "why don't you shut my front door, please, and have a sit down? I can make you some tea and we can get this all straightened out."

Max still hasn't looked away from Charlie. Finally, his gaze shifts to Theo.

"Theodore Basil Smith, explain this, this instant," he barks.

There's a brief pause, which Bill can't stop herself from breaking.

"I'm sorry… Basil?!"

Thanks so much for reading! Let me know what you thought!