Just a side not that I am not a big fan of long, dragged-out fights, so don't get your hopes way too high on the length of fights. Of course; they won't be too short either, but just the right length.

Chapter 25
I Look Handsome, Don't I? Roy vs. Assholicus Dumbasser!


Ike was running by himself through the hallway. "I'm sure Roy will be fine at wherever he is," he thought to himself. "I'll jut go on ahead then."

-

At where Roy is…

"Now I'm going to begin the performance!" Assholicus said, lifting up both arms and standing on one leg in a fashion similar to ballet.

"Bring it, fatty!" Roy said.

"That's not very nice! People make fun of me saying that fat people cannot learn ballet, but I tried to prove them wrong. Too bad the theater caught on fire and was a victim of it!" Assholicus said. "Now if you will open your eyes wide and behold this! Big Bouncy Boing-Boing!" And then he fell back on his butt and bounced into the air thanks to the large amount of fat gathered there. "Bounce! Bounce! Bounce!"

"What the?!" Roy said in shock upon seeing him bouncing towards him using massive butt cheeks. Every time Assholicus landed, the room shook violently and Roy had a bit of trouble keeping his footing. "Whoa! What a large amount of strength!"

Ashholicus jumped towards him and Roy quickly made a run for it, but the shaking caused him to fall down on his body. He quickly struggled to get up and managed to get away before the fat ass landed on him.

"Dammit! I'm not going to fall for a stupid move like this!" Roy said, and he pointed his sword at him, except there was no sword. "Uh?" He looked at the floor and saw the sword lying there. He tried to reach for it, but Assholicus was bouncing towards him already and he quickly made a run for it first. "God dammit!"

Roy ran for his life around the room with Assholicus bouncing after him nonstop. "Run, run, run!" Assholicus sang in a jolly voice. "Run like the wind while I jump like a frog!"

"Stop following me, dammit!" Roy shouted. This kept up for a few minutes and Roy was beginning to wear out from the run. "Argh! This will not get anyhere!" And he turned around to face Assholicus. "I'm going to show you that I'm not helpless without a weapon!"

Roy hopped back quick when Assholicus dropped down on him from above, and quick as a flash, Roy leaped towards Assholicus moment after hopping back and swung his fist into the Failure's face.

SOCK!

"Ouchie!" Assholicus fell over and rolled around on his belly after receiving the blow to the face. It was actually so strong that he got a sore cheek. "That hurts! You got a fist of steel there!"

Roy ran over to his sword and picked up and got into offensive stance and said, "Now I'm serious! Take this!" He swung his sword and shot out fireballs from it.

Assholicus couldn't get up in time and the fire hit him, burning him in the butt and the back. "Ouchie! Fire!" he screamed while rolling across the room constantly. "Stop, drop, and roll!"

Roy ran up to him and slammed down his sword in front of him and created a massive explosion. "Flare Blade!" And explosion blasted Assholicus across the room and he crashed into the wall and fell down, and he even left behind a dent in the shape of himself on the wall. Really shows how heavy he is...

"Aiya! You really got me good!" Assholicus said, still looking and sounding cheerful. "But I'm better than you!" He turned his butt in Roy's direction and bent over. "Bleeding Anus!" Red electricity gathered at his butt and a lightning bolt shot forth. Roy quickly rolled aside to dodge the move, but another lightning bolt was fired at him almost instantly, but he managed jumped aside again to avoid it.

"Hiya!" Roy shot out fireballs again from his sword, but it was diminished by the lightning bolt and then the bolt struck Roy's sword and electricity surged down to his hand. "YAAAA!!"

"Lalala!" Assholicus tiptoed towards Roy very fast still with his butt facing in his direction and rammed him and pushed him across the room until he hit the wall. "How do you like the feel of it? Comfortable?" Assholicus asked while pounding Roy against the wall with his butt over and over.

"I'd prefer it if it was coming from a buxom girl instead!" Roy replied while taking the constant pummeling.

Assholicus then stopped squashing him and charged up to fire the lightning bolt again. "Bleeding Anus!"

"Oh no!" Roy gasped.

BAAAAAAAANG!!

The bolt blasted down the whole wall behind him, and Assholicus laughed to himself, "Hohoho! With a closed range blast like this, you'll be fried!" Suddenly, Roy appeared underneath him, but before he could do anything Roy gave him an uppercut to the cheek and he fell back a bit. "Ouchie!"

"Sorry, but I slipped underneath you moments before getting shot," Roy said. "Now it's my turn to fight back! Double-Edge Dance!" Roy began slashing away at Assholicus nonstop.

SLASH! SLASH! HACK! CHOP! SLASH!!

"Flare Blade!" Roy then ended the combo with a fiery sword slash that sent Assholicus flying through the busted wall and the Failure collapsed onto the floor with cuts and burnt marks all over the body.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Assholicus cried while flailing his limbs around to get up, and then he eventually did so by jumping back onto his feet. "That hurts a lot! You are strong! Oh my! I've underestimated you!"

"Now you know you picked the wrong opponent to mess with!" Roy said.

"However, I do not consider myself to be inferior to you! After I transform, at least!" Assholicus then stretched out both arms. Roy quickly got into defensive stance to take on whatever was coming. Assholicus began spinning in circles on one leg and both his arms where raised into the air. "Final Transformation! Danza como el cisne!" And then a burst of smoke appeared around him.

Note: Spanish for 'Dance like the swan'.

"Now what?" Roy wondered.

When the smoke cleared down, Assholicus had changed a whole lot compared to his previous form. He was now wearing a white tutu with wings and a swan head sticking out from the hip and he also wore a sparkling, silver tiara on his head. He was also very slim and well-built as well as having neatly trimmed blond hair, but he still kept his big, square, nerdy eyeglasses.

"What the…?"

"I am now the prima donna of ballet!" Assholicus said happily while spinning in circles. "Look at me! Truly I am the most beautiful and graceful dancer in the world! I am like a white swan dancing through the clear weather and water, grasping the attention of everyone! I look handsome, don't I?"

But Roy only responded on laughing quietly to himself.

"But for people who do not have a taste in arts, you will never understand the greatness I possess! I will show you the power of one who strives to become the best ballerina! Swanky Spinning Swan!" He began spinning towards Roy at a fast speed.

Roy stopped laughing and said, "Heh! I can deal with this!" He shot out fireballs from his sword again, but to his surprise, the fireballs disappeared when they hit the spinning Failure. "What?!"

Roy quickly got away before Assholicus hit him, but the Failure didn't just go straight ahead; he moved in the direction Roy went! "Hey! Don't come over here!" Roy shouted while moving backwards. He lifted his sword and swung it forward, and Assholicus stopped spinning and did a crotch thrust, allowing the swan head to clash with the sword.

CLANG!

Roy pulled back his sword in surprise from the hardness of the swan, and then Assholicus did a series of continuous crotch thrust to hit Roy constantly with the swan head. Roy moved his body left to right constantly and at the same time backwards to avoid getting stabbed. He eventually got cornered into the wall, but he ducked down and slipped aside and the swan hit the wall behind it and left behind a large crack, and a large hole was busted on the hole afterwards.

"That's some insane power!" Roy gasped in awe.

Assholicus turned to him and said, "I'm going to fly like a swan that I am!" The wings on his side flapped hard and he actually took off into the air!

"What?! You can fly too?!" Roy gasped in shock.

While in air, the swan head pointed down at Roy and Assholicus pulled back all his limbs and began spinning vertically. "Dizzy Drilling Dive!" And he zoomed towards Roy to hit him.

Roy jumped way again to avoid the move and the swan head hit the floor and drilled against it constantly. Roy quickly shot out more fireballs at him, but Assholicus jumped away in time. He leaped towards Roy with one leg stretch out to kick Roy, who ducked down and then swung up his sword from below, but Assholicus managed to bend his body to the side and did several back flips to get back on foot.

"Hohoho! You are a strong man after all! Let me reward you with this!" Assholicus said before turning his back to Roy. He bent over and began shaking his butt left to right furiously, and as he did, feathers came out all around him from thin air. "Shake ma ass! Shake ma ass!"

"Now what…?" Roy wondered.

"Fabulous Feathered Flatulence!" Assholicus shouted, and he cut the cheese and the feathers were blown forward with their back end pointing at Roy, and they were like darts as they went forth.

Roy began swinging his sword around with skill to deflect and destroy the incoming feathers. A couple of feathers still stabbed him somewhat in the limbs, but he was able to clear away them mostly. "Ow… I can't believe how painful feathers can be…" he said.

Assholicus faced him again and tapped dance on his toes rapidly while saying, "How do you like my performance? I'm such a born dancer, ain't I?"

"I'm not in the mood to watch your crazy performance anymore!" Roy said. "I'm going to end the show right now whether you like it or not! Level up!" And at his command, his Binding Blade was engulfed in a fiery orange aura.

"But before you close the show, allow me to reward you the second time!" Assholicus said, and he turned and bent down and used the same move again. "Fabulous Feathered Flatulence!"

When the feathers approached, Roy slammed down his sword very hard and created a huge burst of fire that incinerated the feathers, and streams of fire even came out from the main fire and it burned Assholicus right in the butt. He jumped around with his butt on fire and cried, "Ouchie! Hot, hot, hot!"

Roy then swiped the tip of his sword across the floor and fire zoomed across it and became a wall of fire. He did the same thing again in another direction and there were now two walls of fire trapping Assholicus against the corner of the room.

Assholicus managed to put out the fire by rubbing his butt against the floor constantly, and when he saw the fire, he asked, "Oho! What do we have here?"

Roy smirked and replied, "You're now stepping in your coffin! You will have your final performance there!"

"Aiya! But I can jump over it, you know?" Assholicus said, and he ran towards one side of the wall of fire and attempted to leap over it, but the height of fire magically increased and he was burned and fell back onto the floor. "Owie!"

"Sorry, but once you get caught in the fire cage, there's no way out!" Roy said. "Now for the closing curtains!" He lifted up his sword and slammed it down in front of the wall of fire. "Pillar of Flare!"

Then streams of fire came out from the fire wall and they gathered together in the center of the 'cage', and when they did, a bright light was released from the center.

"Oho! Such beautiful light! A fitting ending for my swan song!" Assholicus said.

And then the light exploded into a pillar of fire that covered up every single space within the 'cage', and it goes without saying that Assholicus Dumbasser was engulfed inside.

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOM!!

The force of the explosion caused Roy to tumble back a bit of a distance, but when the explosion cleared, he saw that part of the room badly charred and the walls had been blown away. The Failure was nowhere in sight too. The Binding Blade returned to its normal state and he sheathed it once again. "Phew, made it! That was a fight! I better find my way out of here and meet up with the others!"

-

Meanwhile, Meta-Knight and King Dedede were walking down the path that they took and they eventually stepped out onto a bridge that was suspended high in the air. Dedede looked around and saw walls on both sides as well as various other smaller buildings. "Must be the inner courtyard," he thought.

"Be careful, your majesty," MK said to him. "The enemy is sure to appear anytime."

"Don't worry," Dedede assured him. "Nobody will ever dare lay a hand on me! I'll whop them up real good if they dare lay a hand on the king!" And moments after he said this, several shurikens and kunais shot in from the front. MK zipped in front of him in a blink of an eye and deflected the sharp projectiles. "Whoa!"

"You all right, majesty?" MK asked him.

"Who dares lay a hand on the king which is I?!" Dedede said angrily. "Show yourself at once!"

Then from the building entrance on the other side of the bridge, a ninja stepped out. "It's the Joykiller!" MK said.

"Nothing in this world can go as planned," Joykiller said as he approached them, "Not even your attempt to stop the perfect world from being created!"

TO BE CONTINUED

Fighting two giant desert bugs have never been so tough. More enemies appear one after another too. Thankfully the Smashers are no pushovers that they will fall to these so easily.
Next chapter: Devil of the Desert! The Terror of Type A!