22. First Night
"No. No way!" Bella protested. She shook her head fiercely and then threw an exasperated glance in my direction. "No, this doesn't count. I stopped aging three days ago. I am eighteen forever."
"Whatever," Alice said, dismissing Bella's protest with a quick shrug. "We're celebrating anyway, so suck it up."
Bella sighed in resignation.
Alice's grin got wider as she read the acquiescence in Bella's eyes. "Are you ready to open your present?"
"Presents," I corrected, pulling the key to Bella's "after car" out of my pocket.
"Mine first," Alice said, and then stuck her tongue out, foreseeing my answer.
I ignored her. "Mine is closer."
"But look at how she's dressed," Alice protested. "It's been killing me all day. That is clearly the priority." Not that it's going to be that important in about fifteen minutes…
Bella's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"I know—I'll play you for it," Alice suggested. "Rock, paper, scissors."
Jasper chuckled.
I sighed. I'd had enough of Alice's theatrics. I just wanted to get to the cottage and be alone with Bella. "Why don't you just tell me who wins?" I asked, trying to make my tone amused rather than irritated.
Alice grinned. "I do. Excellent."
"It's probably better that I wait for morning, anyway," I said, flashing Bella's favorite crooked smile and then nodding toward Jacob and Seth, who were crashed for the night. "I think it might be more fun if Jacob was awake for the big reveal, don't you agree? So that someone there is able to express the right level of enthusiasm?"
Bella grinned at me.
"Yay," Alice sang. "Bella, give Ness—Renesmee to Rosalie."
"Where does she usually sleep?" Bella asked.
Alice shrugged. "In Rose's arms. Or Jacob's. Or Esme's. You get the picture. She has never been set down in her entire life. She's going to be the most spoiled half-vampire in existence."
I laughed while Rosalie took Renesmee from Bella.
"She is also the most unspoiled half-vampire in existence," Rosalie said. "The beauty of being one-of-a-kind." She grinned at Bella.
Alice shoved the key in Bella's hand, then grabbed her elbow and pulled her toward the back door. "Let's go, let's go," she trilled anxiously.
"Is it outside?" Bella asked.
"Sort of," Alice said, pushing her forward.
"Enjoy your gift," Rosalie said. "It's from all of us. Esme especially."
"Aren't you coming, too?" Bella asked when no one moved.
"We'll give you a chance to appreciate it alone," Rosalie said, trying to keep from snickering. "You can tell us about it…later."
Emmett was unable to hide his amusement. He guffawed.
Suddenly, Bella smiled hugely, and Alice tugged on her elbow again. I followed them into the purple night.
"There's the enthusiasm I'm looking for," Alice murmured approvingly. Then she dropped Bella's arm so she could leap over the river.
Bella and I jumped at the same time.
Alice took off with us on her heels. When we got close to the cottage, Alice whirled around and dashed back to Bella.
"Don't attack me," she warned, and sprang on Bella's back and wrapped her hands around Bella's face.
"What are you doing?" Bella protested.
"Making sure you can't see."
"I could take care of that without the theatrics," I offered, trying as hard as I could not to let my irritation with my favorite sister show.
"You might let her cheat," Alice said. "Take her hand and lead her forward."
"Alice, I—," Bella started to say.
"Don't bother, Bella. We're doing this my way."
I wound my fingers through Bella's. "Just a few seconds more, Bella. Then she'll go annoy someone else." I pulled Bella forward, and she kept up easily.
"You might be a little more appreciative," Alice chided me. "This is as much for you as it is for her."
"True," I agreed. "Thank you again, Alice."
"Yeah, yeah. Okay. Stop there. Turn her just a little to the right. Yes, like that. Okay. Are you ready?" she squeaked.
"I'm ready," Bella said.
Alice hopped down from Bella's back, releasing her grip on Bella's eyes.
Bella and I both stared into the violet dark. Of course, I'd seen the cottage in my family's minds, but this was the first time I'd actually been here.
The stone cottage was nestled into a small clearing in the forest, lavender gray in the light of the stars. It belonged here so absolutely that it seemed as if it must have grown from the rock, a natural formation. Honeysuckle climbed up one wall like a lattice, winding all the way up and over the thick wooden shingles. Late summer roses bloomed in a handkerchief-sized garden under the dark, deep-set windows. There was a little path of flat stones, amethyst in the night, that led up to the quaint arched wooden door.
"What do you think?" Alice asked Bella in a softer tone.
Bella opened her mouth, but appeared speechless.
"Esme thought we might like a place of our own for a while, but she didn't want us too far away," I murmured. "And she loves any excuse to renovate. This little place has been crumbling away out here for at least a hundred years."
Bella continued staring, jaw dropped.
"Don't you like it?" Alice asked, her face falling. "I mean, I'm sure we could fix it up differently, if you want. Emmett was all for adding a few thousand square feet, a second story, columns, and a tower, but Esme thought you would like it best the way it was meant to look. If she was wrong, we can get back to work. It won't take long to—"
"Shh!" Bella interrupted.
Alice pressed her lips together, waiting for Bella's verdict.
"You're giving me a house for my birthday?" Bella asked after a few seconds.
"Us," I corrected. "And it's no more than a cottage. I think the word house implies more legroom."
"No knocking my house," Bella whispered.
Alice beamed. "You like it."
Bella shook her head.
"Love it?" Alice asked.
Bella nodded.
"I can't wait to tell Esme!"
"Why didn't she come?" Bella asked.
Alice's smile faded a little, twisting into a more embarrassed and nervous expression. She wasn't sure how to answer that. "Oh, you know…they all remember how you are about presents. They didn't want to put you under too much pressure to like it."
"But of course I love it. How could I not?"
"They'll like that." Alice patted Bella's arm. "Anyhoo, your closet is stocked. Use it wisely. And…I guess that's everything."
"Aren't you going to come inside?"
Alice strolled casually a few feet back. "Edward knows his way around. I'll stop by…later. Call me if you can't match your clothes right." She threw Bella a doubtful look and then smiled. "Jazz wants to hunt. See you." Have fun, she thought wryly.
She shot off into the trees like a bullet.
"That was weird," Bella said after a few seconds. "Am I really that bad? They didn't have to stay away. Now I feel guilty. I didn't even thank her right. We should go back, tell Esme—"
I understood where Bella was coming from, but I'd been waiting for this moment for three days. There was no way I was going to spend another ten minutes going back to thank Esme.
"Bella, don't be silly," I interrupted. "No one thinks you're that unreasonable."
"Then what—"
"Alone time is their other gift. Alice was trying to be subtle about it."
"Oh," she said simply.
"Let me show you what they've done," I said, pulling her toward the cottage.
A small part of me wished that I could hear Bella's heart racing in anticipation and see her blush one more time. But then I realized that the fact that she was a vampire meant that I wasn't capable of hurting her anymore. And I didn't have to hold back anymore.
But before we got to that, I would let her fully appreciate her present.
Suddenly and without warning, Bella laughed once.
"Do I get to hear the joke?" I asked as I led the way to the door.
"It's not a very good one. I was just thinking—today is the first and last day of forever. It's kind of hard to wrap my head around it. Even with all this extra room for wrapping." She laughed again.
I chuckled with her as I held my hand out to the doorknob, waiting for her to do the honors. Bella stuck the key in the lock and turned it.
"You're such a natural at this, Bella; I forget how very strange this all must be for you. I wish I could hear it." I quickly ducked down and picked her up to carry her over the threshold.
"Hey!" she protested.
"Thresholds are part of my job description," I reminded her. "But I'm curious. Tell me what you're thinking about right now."
I opened the door and stepped through into the little stone living room.
"Everything," she told me. "All at the same time, you know. Good things and things to worry about and things that are new. How I keep using too many superlatives in my head. Right now, I'm thinking that Esme is an artist. It's so perfect!"
Seeing this cottage in my family's thoughts didn't do it justice. It was like something out of a fairy tale. The floor was a quilt of smooth, flat stones. The low ceiling had long, exposed beams that someone just a little taller than me would probably knock their head on. The walls were warm wood in some places, stone mosaics in others. The beehive fireplace in the corner held the remains of a fire Esme had started for us—the low flames were blue and green from the salt.
It was furnished in eclectic pieces, not one of them matching another, but harmonious just the same. One chair seemed vaguely medieval, while a low ottoman by the fire was more contemporary and the stocked bookshelf against the far window looked like something out of Renaissance Italy. Somehow each piece fit together with the others like a big three-dimensional puzzle. A few of Bella's favorite paintings from the house were hanging on the walls.
"We're lucky Esme thought to add an extra room," I said, walking through the cottage with Bella still in my arms. "No one was planning for Ness—Renesmee."
She frowned at me. "Not you, too."
"Sorry, love. I hear it in their thoughts all the time, you know. It's rubbing off on me."
Bella sighed in resignation.
"I'm sure you're dying to see the closet," I teased. "Or, at least I'll tell Alice that you were, to make her feel good."
"Should I be afraid?"
"Terrified."
I carried her down the narrow stone hallway with tiny arches in the ceiling. It was like our own miniature castle.
"That will be Renesmee's room," I said, nodding to an empty room with a pale wooden floor. "They didn't have time to do much with it, what with the angry werewolves…"
Bella laughed quietly.
And then, finally, I got to our bedroom.
"Here's our room. Esme tried to bring some of her island back here for us. She guessed that we would get attached."
The bed was an exact replica of the bed in the white room on the island, white with clouds of gossamer floating down from the canopy to the floor. The pale wood floor was exactly the color of the sand on the beach, and the walls were the almost-white-blue of a brilliant sunny day. The back wall had big glass doors that opened up into a little garden. Climbing roses and a small round pond, smooth as a mirror and edged with shiny stones. A tiny, calm ocean for us.
"Oh," was all she said.
"I know," I whispered.
We stood there for a minute, remembering. For the first time since Bella had figured out she was pregnant, I let myself remember our time on the island as a happy time, as the best time of my life. So far.
I smiled widely at my wife and then laughed. "The closet is through those double doors," I said, gesturing toward it with my chin. "I should warn you—it's bigger than this room."
Bella didn't even glance at the doors. "We're going to tell Alice that I ran right to the clothes," she whispered, twisting her fingers into my hair and pulling her face closer to mine. "We're going to tell her that I spent hours in there playing dress-up. We're going to lie."
Finally! I pulled my wife's face to mine fiercely, a low moan escaping my throat.
I heard the fabric tearing under our hands, and was glad that Bella's clothes, at least, were already destroyed. It was too late for mine. It felt almost rude to ignore the bed, but we just weren't going to make it that far.
This second honeymoon wasn't like our first.
There was no caution or restraint now, on my part or Bella's, as our bodies tangled gracefully into one on the sand-pale floor. And, for the first time, I wasn't afraid. Our physical relationship was better than before, because we could love together now, both active participants. I didn't have to restrain myself, to fear hurting her. Because she was stronger than I was now.
She hurt me a little, but I didn't complain. I didn't mind. Because, every time she squeezed me too tight or touched me too roughly, it was a reminder that my days of fear and restraint were over. I could never hurt my Bella again.
A small part of my mind pondered the interesting conundrum presented in this situation. Bella now had no more mundane human needs. She didn't need to sleep or eat or use the bathroom or even breathe. She had the most perfect body in the world, she was immortal now, she was mine, and there was never going to come a point at which either of us would think, Now I've had enough for one day. So, in this situation, how did we stop?
It didn't bother me at all that I had no answer to my quandary.
We sort of noticed when the sky began to lighten. The tiny ocean outside turned from black to gray, and a lark started to sing somewhere close by. It truly was like a fairy tale.
"Do you miss it?" she asked suddenly.
It wasn't the first time we'd spoken, but we weren't exactly keeping up a conversation, either.
"Miss what?" I murmured.
"All of it—the warmth, the soft skin, the tasty smell…I'm not losing anything at all, and I just wondered if it was a little bit sad for you that you were."
She thought I missed her being human? She didn't fully realize how much better it was for me now that I didn't have to concentrate all the time on not killing her.
I laughed gently. "It would be hard to find someone less sad than I am now. Impossible, I'd venture. Not many people get every single thing they want, plus all the things they didn't think to ask for, in the same day."
"Are you avoiding the question?"
I pressed my hand against her face. "You are warm."
She wasn't warm like before, not actually hot to me. But it was more comfortable now. More natural.
I pulled my fingers slowly down her face, lightly tracing from her jaw to her throat and then all the way down to her waist. I smiled when I saw her eyes roll back in her head a little.
"You are soft," I told her.
Again, she wasn't soft in the same sense, but her skin felt like satin underneath my fingertips.
"And as for the scent, well, I couldn't say I missed that," I continued. "Do you remember the scent of those hikers on our hunt?"
"I've been trying very hard not to."
"Imagine kissing that." Only a thousand times worse.
"Oh."
"Precisely. So the answer is no. I am purely full of joy, because I am missing nothing. No one has more than I do now."
And then I kissed her passionately, and that was the end of that conversation.
When the little pool turned pearl-colored with the sunrise, she spoke again.
"How long does this go on? I mean, Carlisle and Esme, Em and Rose, Alice and Jasper—they don't spend all day locked in their rooms. They're out in public, fully clothed, all the time. Does this…craving ever let up?" She twisted herself closer into me—quite an accomplishment, actually—and I tightened my arms around her.
"That's difficult to say," I told her. "Everyone is different, and, well, so far you're the very most different of all. The average young vampire is too obsessed with thirst to notice much else for a while. That doesn't seem to apply to you." I was immensely grateful for that. "With the average young vampire, though, after that first year, other needs make themselves known. Neither thirst nor any other desire really ever fades. It's simply a matter of learning to balance them, learning to prioritize and manage…"
"How long?" she insisted.
I smiled and wrinkled my nose a little. "Rosalie and Emmett were the worst. It took a solid decade before I could stand to be within a five-mile radius of them. Even Carlisle and Esme had a difficult time stomaching it. They kicked the happy couple out eventually. Esme built them a house, too. It was grander than this one, but then, Esme knows what Rose likes, and she knows what you like."
"So, after ten years, then?" she asked. "Everybody is normal again? Like they are now?"
I was pretty sure it would take longer than that; I knew Emmett and Rosalie had nothing on us. But it would probably sound cocky if I went higher than a decade, so I decided to skirt around the answer.
I smiled again. "Well, I'm not sure what you mean by normal. You've seen my family going about life in a fairly human way, but you've been sleeping nights." I winked at her. "There's a tremendous amount of time left over when you don't have to sleep. It makes balancing your…interests quite easy. There's a reason why I'm the best musician in the family, why—besides Carlisle—I've read the most books, studied the most sciences, become fluent in the most languages…Emmett would have you believe that I'm such a know-it-all because of the mind reading, but the truth is that I've just had a lot of free time."
We laughed together, and the motion of our laughter did interesting things to the way our bodies were connected, effectively ending the conversation.