Disclaimer: Everything you recognize belongs to JKR, anything you don't is mine.
A/N: I had a slight change in the last chapter – Fred would have asked Nicole out on her fourteenth birthday, not thirteenth. Not a huge deal overall, just thought I'd tell you guys.
Unfortunately, I won't have time to update tomorrow – I have dance from 5 through 9:30.
Thanks for the review: Hannahzzz – Thank you! I'm starting to look forward to your review for every chapter:)
Chapter 24
The force of the landing caused them all to stagger backward – Remus and Sirius even fell onto their bottoms, and James grabbed Lily to keep her from falling onto hers.
"I guess, in a way, that potion did work," Sirius said as he stood up and glanced around Severus' now ruined office. "We found out if you were having a girl or boy."
"Yes," Remus said as Sirius reached out a hand to help him up, which he grabbed gratefully. "That's true, but look what it did to Snape's office. He – is going – to kill us."
"We still need to take the Glamor Charms off," Lily pointed out, decided it was best to change the subject at that moment, as she rose her wand. With four flicks of her wand, they were all back to their original looks.
Just then, the door burst open and Severus ran in, glanced once around the room, and then scowled at Sirius and James.
"What did you do Black, Potter?"
Remus patted Sirius' shoulder.
"Good luck, mate," he whispered.
"Uh, well," Sirius said uncomfortably, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and back again. "The baby kicked and I knocked something into the potion and it kinda – well, it exploded. But we found out the sex of the baby!" He added the last part happily, throwing his hands into the air like a child, hoping it would save him from any scolding or curses.
Severus scowled, waving the wand he had just pulled out of his pockets, and everything in his office returned to it's normal position in the blink of an eye.
"I could care less about the sex of Potter's baby. But, let me guess – it's a boy?"
"How did you know?" James asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes.
Did Snape know?
Severus shrugged.
"Intuition," he said simply, but the four thought that there was probably a different reason – one that they were certain they knew. "Now, since you are done here, if you don't mind, would you please leave? I have some important things I must do." The four nodded and left the room quickly.
They hurried along the corridors and toward Dumbledore's office – they were going to floo back to James and Lily's house from his office. Once they reached the stone gargoyle, they had to pause for a moment, trying to remember the password – it may have only been a few minutes – if even that – in this time that they had been gone, but that had been in the other time for a month.
Finally, Sirius remembered the password.
"Cockroach clusters!" he barked, and then led them up the moving staircase. At the top, he lifted his hand to knock on the door, but stopped when he heard what he heard next:
"He's got Regulus! I'm not going to sit around here and wait for them to kill him!"
Cold dread filled Sirius, flowing through his veins like white-hot irons, causing him more pain than he had ever imagined that dread could cause. He's got Regulus…
"How do you even know they have Regulus?" Dumbledore said. "I thought you've been staying hidden, remember? You're supposed to be a prisoner?"
"I'm not stupid," Nicole spat. They could just see Dumbledore nodding patiently, even if Nicole was practically in hysterics – they almost thought she was even crying. "When he didn't come back by three after leaving this morning for 'Order business' when he said he would be home at noon, I knew that something was wrong. Plus, Sev told me."
"And did Severus tell you why they need Mr. Black?"
"He didn't need to – it's obvious, or are you too blind to see it?" Nicole yelled, frustrated. "He thinks that Sirius is Lily and James' secret-keeper and is trying to use Regulus to get to him! He's practically saying to Sirius: 'Choose one – your best friend, his wife and unborn-child, or your brother!' Who could choose one of those?"
"And what do you want me to do? I can't get into Malfoy Manor, and if you want me to tell him where Lily and James are, I'm afraid I cannot do that – "
"Duh!" Now they were sure she was crying, or at least had been crying – even though her voice hadn't quite broken there, they could tell by the way her voice had sounded – as though this was the worst thing that had ever happened to her. "Not that I want them dead to begin with – though at the moment I couldn't care less if James was alive or dead."
James realized just then how bad he had treated his daughter – if she actually wanted him, her own father, dead, that was bad.
"But I can get into Malfoy Manor and save him! And I don't care if I blow my cover, I'm going to get him out of there – before Sirius finds out and goes crazy or tries to help."
The door burst open, and Nicole ran out – so fast she was merely a blur – running into James on her way out.
"Watch out!" she spat at him without turning around.
"Ah, James, Remus, Sirius, Lily," they heard Dumbledore say. They all turned back to him slowly to see him smiling, but without the usual twinkle in his eyes. "I expected you soon. Have you finished the potion?"
"Yes, sir," Remus answered as he steered a shocked and still unmoving Sirius into the room before pushing him onto the only chair there. He knew Lily and James had followed him in as he heard the door shut.
"And?"
"It's a boy, sir," James said, only his voice wasn't thrilled; not an ounce of it sounded thrilled – it was completely devoid of expression, actually. "Though I think you knew that."
"Really? Why do you think that?" James sighed, running his fingers through his hair frustratingly, before he conjured up three more chairs for himself, Lily, and Remus, pushed Lily into one, and slumped grumpily into another while Remus sat quietly in the other.
"Because, sir, we know." Dumbledore frowned – they knew it was a shock to him, and that he was probably wondering if they were talking about what he thought they were.
"You know? Know what?" James sighed again before launching into the full story – how the baby started to kick, how the time-sand got knocked into the potion, how they went back in time – with the occasional help from Remus and Lily – Sirius still hadn't said anything, and they all knew why.
At the end, Dumbledore smiled again – but his eyes still held no twinkle, and instead showed how tired and desperate he truly was and how the war had a toll on everybody, even Dumbledore – especially Dumbledore.
"Well, at least we no longer have to worry about you finding out," he said half-heartedly. Then he suddenly frowned again. "Please, don't tell Nicole right now. She's going through a lot, she's been though a lot, and now that – " He caught himself before he gave it away.
"Voldemort's got Regulus," Sirius said, nodding and tearing his eyes away from the wall he had been staring at to finally to look at Dumbledore, speaking for the first time. Dumbledore looked down at his hands and nodded slowly.
"I was hoping you wouldn't have to find out until he was out, Sirius. I'm sorry." And he truly looked sorry, too. "And don't try to help, okay? There is nothing you can do. I'm going to talk to Nicole and Severus and we will figure something out. But please leave it to us – don't try to help, because you will only be causing more trouble than anything."
(Back to Nicole's POV finally.)
The next big thing happened on the first of February. I knew that Lily, James, Remus, and Sirius were at Hogwarts finishing the potion so they could find out the sex of the baby – that or they were coming later, or had already been there. Whichever it was, I didn't care at the slightest at that time. I had bigger issues to deal with.
Since they were at Hogwarts, I was stuck at home, all by myself while Regulus was out on some Order business that he had refused to tell me.
"I promise I will be back by noon," he had said earlier that morning. "It's nothing big." Then he kissed me briefly and Disapparated directly from the kitchen.
I couldn't rest, and when he didn't show up by three, I was so worried that I flooed to Dumbledore's office. He wasn't there, but I didn't care. I had no intention of talking to him – he couldn't help me.
I ran down the corridors until I got to the potions room, where I threw the door open and walked in, ignoring the stares from the class of Ravenclaw and Slytherin third years that Severus was teaching and said forcefully,
"I need to talk to you."
Luckily, just then, the bell rang, and Severus had a free period next hour. The class shuffled out, giving me strange looks as I approached their teacher.
"Please," I said quietly so the nearest Ravenclaw student, who was gathering up her things, couldn't hear me. "Please go to Malfoy Manor quickly and make sure Regulus isn't there." He sighed and said,
"Nick, listen – "
"Don't 'Nick, listen' me, mister!" I said, putting my hands on my hips, like a mother scolding a misbehaving child. "He didn't come home from the fucking 'Order business' and Dumbledore will KILL me if I go anywhere near Malfoy Manor!" The last student in the room, who as at the door by that time and was the Ravenclaw girl who had been nearby earlier, turned and gave me a strange look – I didn't care if she had overheard or not. Nobody would believe her if she told them anyway.
Severus sighed, defeated.
"Fine."
So I walked with him to the Whomping Willow and then through the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack – it was easier to take this way, a way nobody would no, than it was to take a way that everybody would know and where we would be seen.
Once there, he Disapparated immediately, and I was left to sit and wait on the four-poster bed that Ron had been on during my first visit into the Shack my first year, when Sirius and Remus had proved to us that Sirius was really innocent and where Wormtail showed up.
The wait killed me – literally, if I would have been left there for a second longer, I would have gone to Malfoy Manor myself.
I kept glancing at my watch – okay, so I kept glancing at Sirius's watch that I still had. Each second lasted a year, each minute an eternity. In ten eternities – really only ten minutes – Severus returned. I stood up quickly and knew instantly from his face the answer to the question that was on the tip of my tongue. I didn't even have time to ask.
They had him.
My heart literally stopped – I couldn't breathe for several moments.
Was this because of me? Did Voldemort know that I was really on the Light side? If so, how? What had tipped him off? And if he didn't know, would Regulus somehow tip him off?
And then it suddenly hit me – I knew exactly why.
Sirius.
He thought that Sirius was secret-keeper.
He wanted to break him.
He wanted to get him to tell him the location of the Potter's.
But Sirius couldn't tell him. Only Dumbledore could.
"Shit, damn, FUCK!" I screamed as I ran from the room, back through the passage and into the castle. I knew Severus was on my trail, for he kept calling after me, telling me that "we could save him" and that "he was going to be alright" but I didn't believe any of it.
As I passed the dungeons, I heard an explosion from Severus's office.
Of course, Sirius and James would blow up his office right then.
I would normally find humor in that situation, but right then I couldn't even smile at it – I didn't know if I would ever be able to smile again.
My heart was breaking as I raced up the wooden steps and to the stone gargoyle.
What if they killed Regulus?
He was my support system. I couldn't live without him. I didn't want to live without him. I decided that I wouldn't live without him.
Then I realized how utterly selfish that I was being.
I should be thinking about Regulus, not myself.
What if they tortured him?
Compared to that, death would be welcome by anybody. I would rather Regulus be dead than experience that pain.
I wouldn't wish that on anybody, even Voldemort himself, and I hoped that they wouldn't put Regulus through that. It wasn't so bad after you had been under it for hours a time for nine days straight, but it was still painful.
Too painful.
Regulus shouldn't have to feel that. He didn't deserve it. He was a good person.
Nobody should have to feel that.
"Cockroach cluster!" I shrieked at the stone gargoyle, kicking it as I ran up the steps – which did nothing besides cause me to yell at my now sore toe and make me angrier.
I just hoped Dumbledore was back in his office.
I didn't even knock; I just threw the door open.
Luckily, Dumbledore was sitting at his desk, staring at the door as if he had expected me – there was even a chair in front of his desk for me to sit in.
He said something, but I had slammed the door and didn't hear it as I slumped into the chair.
Then, tears started to pour out of my eyes. I had been holding them in, and no longer could.
"Nicole, what's wrong?" Dumbledore asked softly when he saw my tears.
"H – h – he – he – !" But I couldn't say anymore as I let out a choked-sob. I buried my face in my hands, resting my elbows on his desk, and sobbed harder, my shoulders shaking.
Dumbledore didn't say anything until my sobs subsided to mere sniffles. I could finally speak coherent words and then sentences, and I brought my face out of my hands, whipping the tears out of my eyes and off of my cheeks.
"What's wrong?" he asked again, quieter this time.
"He – he's got Regulus." Dumbledore immediately frowned.
Suddenly, anger filled me – I could have prevented this if Dumbledore would have let me leave the fucking house!
I wasn't necessarily mad at Dumbledore, I was just mad. Mostly at myself, I think.
I stood up quickly, the chair getting pushed back loudly as I did so, and leaned forward with my palms on Dumbledore's desk.
"He's got Regulus! I'm not going to sit around here and wait for them to kill him!" I yelled, leaning closer to him.
"How do you even know they have Regulus?" He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "I thought you've been staying hidden, remember? You're supposed to be a prisoner?"
"I'm not stupid," I spat in his face. Dumbledore nodded, even though I was in hysterics. "When he didn't come back after 'Order business' I knew something was wrong. Plus, Sev told me."
"And did Severus tell you why they need Mr. Black?"
Ugh, wasn't that pretty obvious?
"He didn't need to – it's obvious, or are you too blind to see it?" I yelled, even though I knew that Dumbledore knew why they needed Regulus. "He thinks that Sirius is Lily and James' secret-keeper and is trying to use Regulus to get to him! He's practically saying to Sirius: 'Choose one – your best friend, his wife and unborn-child, or your brother!' Who could choose one of those?"
I sure couldn't – I would never be able to – I'd have to give myself up instead.
"And what do you want me to do?" he asked patiently.
How could he be so calm? I was going crazy here!
"I can't get into Malfoy Manor – " obviously " – and if you want me to tell him where Lily and James are, I'm afraid I cannot do that – "
"Duh! Not that I want them dead to begin with – though at the moment I couldn't care less if James was alive or dead."
Oh, I really didn't mean that – he had to be alive so I could be born.
Just kidding, even though that was true – I was too harsh there – it was a tough time, you never knew who to believe. I forgave him. But if he ever apologized I would make him suffer by telling him that I didn't forgive him. It's what he deserved, anyway.
I only said that because I was angry, and everybody says things they don't mean when they are angry, or stressed, or afraid – which I was all of.
"But I can get into Malfoy Manor and save him!" I continued, walking toward the door and putting my hand onto the knob before turning around again. "And I don't care if I blow my cover – " I really didn't care. " – I'm going to get him out of there – before Sirius finds out and goes crazy or tries to help."
I stormed out of the door, not realizing that James, Lily, Remus and Sirius were on the other side and running into James on my way out.
"Watch out!" I spat, not caring if it was rude – at the moment, all I cared about was Regulus.
A/N: In case you didn't read this at the top: Unfortunately, I won't have time to update tomorrow – I have dance from 5 through 9:30.
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