Chapter 25: Dancing Embers

At first, nobody believed it. But when Toph and Sokka saw him, they were ecstatic. There was a joyous group hug. Aang and I were both crying; Sokka and Toph laughing. Momo, who had stayed safe with Sokka all this time, darted all over Aang's clothing, chirping and screeching in unmistakable happiness.

"I can't believe it!" Sokka raved. "It's like you're back from the dead!"

"Boy, ####### Toes," the blind girl laughed, "am I glad to see that baby face again!"

We all laughed at that, knowing that Toph couldn't see Aang's face at all. Furthermore, I noticed with admiration, Aang had grown up a lot and his face had lost all its "baby fat." His face was hardened. He was taller than me now. His body-build was strong and a little wiry; not as gangly as Sokka and not as muscular as Zuko, but a nice happy medium.

"Oh!" I exclaimed. "I have to get Zuko too!"

As I spoke I hurried into the next room of the palace, turned a sharp corner, and collided with the Fire Lord. I looked up to apologize, but when I brought my head up Zuko planted a kiss on my head and put an arm around me. "Nice running into you. And in such cheerful mood," he smiled, remembering my temper just an hour ago.

I blushed and pulled away, all the memories of being with Zuko bearing down on my conscience with crushing force. I opened my mouth to explain, but Zuko looked behind me and his face went white as a ghost's.

"A-Aang?" he asked incredulously. Then, in great elation, "Aang! You're alive! I can't believe it!"

"Yeah, I can't believe it either," Aang said unsmilingly. He took my arm and rather stiffly led me away from Zuko. The Fire Lord inclined his head slightly, his joy replaced by awkwardness. I felt the heavy discomfiture acutely. Aang said nothing; there was a strained silence.

"Zuko and me have made up," I said, forcing a smile. "The war's over and I'm on his side again."

"So, what?" Aang snapped. "The Fire Lord and his new Lady have been settling all the world's disputes?"

I almost flinched. "Aang, it's not like that!" I said desperately.

"Aang, just listen—" Zuko also pleaded.

"What? Listen to what? What's it like, Katara?" The bitterness in his voice surprised me. "I'm only gone three seasons and you get a new boyfriend?"

"Hey, we thought you were dead!" Zuko argued fiercely.

"Okay, but I'm not!" Aang roared back. "Sorry to disappoint you all! So Katara, the hot royalty or the zombie returned from the dead? What are you going to do now, Katara?!"

I opened my mouth to answer, but there were no words in my head. Aang hit the nail on the head. What was I going to do? For a moment I stared wordless at both men as if trying to choose between them—then like a snap of lightning my sanity returned.

"What am I going to do?" I reiterated. "I'll tell you what I'm gonna do—I'm going to spend some time with my husband!" Clearly, clearly, my loyalty was to Aang. There was no choice in the matter. None whatsoever. I grasped Aang's hand and we walked out of the room together.

"Owch," Sokka said.

"Awkward," Toph hummed.

Zuko said nothing, just stood staring after us.

The first place we went was the barn. Here, Appa was waiting for Aang. We had kept him here all during Aang's absence. The great bison had suffered many wounds from the catastrophic battle, and then nearly died of despair. But with the love of Sokka, Toph, Zuko, visiting Suki, and most recently myself, Appa had recovered. I stood back and allowed Aang and his best animal friend to reunite. The Avatar just stood there hugging Appa's nose and whispering softly to him. Then the beast took Aang up on one of his forelegs and cuddled him to his fluffy, furry chest. It was a sacred friendship.

"He's got some scars," said Aang, his voice low with pity.

"We all do," I whispered.

"That was a terrible day, last fall. They say the water was red with blood all the next day."

I fought the tears of guilt and sadness that were welling up in my eyes. Unable to hold them in, I fell on my knees and broke down. "Oh, Aang. I was such an idiot! I killed all those people; it was my fault!"

Aang said nothing. He squatted down to my level and put his hand on my shoulder. But he did not deny the truth of my words. "I know it's your fault. But we all forgive you."

"How can you? How can you still want me as your wife?"

"Katara, I just want you to be happy." Aang smiled. "Tell ya what. Let's just forget about all this. Forget it ever happened. For today, let's just be happy."

"Okay," I nodded.

But of course, it lasted much longer than a day. All the next week and the week after we were flocked by citizens who wanted to see the Avatar. We had to hold feasts and parties and make public appearances, and already Aang was back to settling a few local disputes. My evening talks with the gang were replaced by crowded banquets. We all still talked together, of course, but we could not be as honest and blunt with so many guests around. Still, I was happy.

At least I was at first. At times I still glanced at Zuko absentmindedly, and the thoughts and doubts whirling in my head made me confused and unhappy. In addition, I rarely got a chance to talk privately with Aang. Most nights we were both too dead tried to talk. But there were some times when this wasn't the case.

"Aang?" My voice was strangely small, a little whisper of wind in the stillness of the night.

"Yeah?" Aang asked sleepily. "What is it?" I didn't sit up or look at him; he was only half awake, and I had my face half-covered by thick blanket folds.

There was a short silence. No sound at all. Then my voice came again, a little stronger this time, but still somehow pitiful. "Why didn't you come back?"

"I am back."

Again no sound. "But why not before now? Where were you?"

Aang gave a little sigh. He wanted to rest, and my questions were pestering. "I'm back, Katara. Isn't that what you wanted?"

I pulled the covers further over my face and went to sleep.

**************

Summer was over halfway through when Aang and I hosted a ball in the palace. The setting was not unlike the party a few winters back, when Aang had made such a fool of himself. The memory disturbed us both, but I didn't dare speak about it. As the guests poured in, Aang and I welcomed them with smiles, news, and small talk. They also talked incessantly about the Lion Turtle, but I hardly listened to that. I still didn't know whether the great beast I had tried to kill was a friend or an enemy.

Sokka was in charge of the party's entertainment, and Toph was pretending to be a lady for my sake. Momo darted over the refreshment tables, chirruping in ecstasy over the variety of international foods (selected to encourage good relations between nations). Many guests were frightened to the large eye of Appa as he peered in through a large window. Ever since Aang returned, Appa couldn't stand being away from him for too long, especially in crowds where he might lose sight of him.

When the band started up the music and the dancing started, I was thrilled. The lights dimmed. Fire benders lit flames of all colors on torches along the wall. Aang threw his arms and wide and shouted, "Freestyle, everybody!" It made me think of the night four years ago, when Aang hosted the secret kid's dance party in the Fire Nation. It ended dangerously, of course, but Aang had enjoyed himself vastly. Now he did it again.

He took my hand, pulled me to where there was room, and began the dance. Drums kept time. We started moving in a rhythmic circle, our right arms outstretched in front of us and touching each other's palms. Aang's feet moved like leaves in the wind: graceful and random. We turned back-to-back in a mock-fighting stance, thrashing the air in time with the wild music. We faced each other again and our arms met in an "X" as our faces glowed with energy. Then we leaned away from each other and Aang back-flipped and landed as lightly as a ballerina; I rolled into a cartwheel. Both of us leaped back to out feet at the same instant, our faces inches from each other. Aang's eyes burned with excitement and longing. Soon the whole dance took on his expression. We flipped, turned, and play-jabbed, dancing wildly. The room was hot; Aang's feet were hotter still. He danced like an ember of fire, glowing and moving and full of life. I tried to keep up. My eyes were riveted on my husband.

Suddenly somebody bumped Aang. The dance was interrupted; the music was changing. It was a guy I had heard of who wrote articles of news and posted them in the tow square for people to read. "Oh my goodness!" he grinned at seeing Aang. "The Avatar, face to face! Oh, please, can I interview you for my post?"

Aang glanced at me, doubtful. "I can't leave my wife to dance alone."

"I'll be fine, Aang," I smiled, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You have some fame. You deserve it. I'll just go over and make sure Momo isn't wrecking the food."

On my way to the refreshment table, I ran into Zuko. The music was starting again. "May I have this dance?" he asked.

I was surprised by his straightforwardness. But then, Zuko always surprised me. "Look, it sounds nice but…I don't know…"

"It would be rude to turn down the Fire Lord, you know," he smiled. "I could have you banished."

I laughed, but it was forced. For a moment I stood there, still undecided. I glanced over at Aang and made sure he was engaged with the reporter before looking up at Zuko again. "Well…I guess so."

Our hands found each other's and fit together without awkwardness. The lights had dimmed more, and the torches burned with only one color now: a mystical cerulean that seemed to cast a bluish mist over the huge chamber. The music was slow this time, and the band was singing a song. Zuko and I, with all the other couples in the room, stepped a dance devoid of any acrobatic flips. It was normal to look straight into the face of your dance partner, to stare into their eyes. But for some reason, I found it challenging. Zuko's eyes tried to hold mine, but I turned my head away while we danced, blushing.

"What are you so afraid of?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper.

Typical Zuko; address the issue as bluntly as possible and throw in an insult where possible. "I'm not scared of anything," I stated stiffly. My feet moved clumsily.

His were steady. The dance went on. Zuko leaned close and put a hand under my chin, making me look up at him. It was intimidating. "Scared of me?" he asked.

"No," I held firmly.

The Fire Lord's face softened. "Maybe you're afraid of yourself. Come on. I dare you to look at me."

I couldn't back out of a challenge. I looked at him. His hard, stubborn jaw, intense eyes, and humble, princely brow entranced me. I thought of everything we'd been through together. And more than anything I wanted to be close to him. I was already unconsciousness drawing nearer, slowing the dance, my lips drawn to his like magnets as the soloist sang,

"You burn down all the lies;

You're my fire,

You're my fire

Darling;

You make me open my eyes

And you're my fire,

You're my fire

Darling."

Then suddenly my consciousness returned. My mind snapped into action. I tore away from Zuko, tears of confusion and pain clouding my vision. "Katara, I'm sorry," Zuko said. But I strode quickly away, trying not to run into any other couples. My face was fire-hot, and probably as red.

I went straight for the refreshment table and grabbed a cup of iced water. I downed it so fast my head stung with the cold. I hoped it would bring clarity. But no—my mind was hopelessly cloudy. I wiped tears from my eyes, realizing at that moment that I cared about both Aang and Zuko.

I left the party early and went to bed. It was just like the last disastrous party, only this time I felt like the cheater, not Aang. As I tried to sleep my dreams and thoughts were filled with Zuko and Aang, both men so special and both men so puzzling.

I had to choose between them.