Chapter 25 – Don't Be

"So, are you going to tell me what was so important that you missed last night's show?" Stephanie asked as she walked into Rachel's dressing room.

Rachel glanced at the open door, not really wanting everyone knowing she took off to go on a date, but Stephanie seemed to sense her hesitancy and shut the door. She had known people to take off for far less, but she was also concerned about how things were going to look. She wanted to be a star, after all, and she didn't want to give anyone a reason not to give her a lead role.

"Well?" Stephanie asked.

"I had a date with Quinn," Rachel admitted. "After you and I spoke on Wednesday, I gave it a lot of thought, and I ultimately decided that I wanted to see where things lead."

"Really?" Stephanie asked.

"Really," Rachel replied. "So, I went to her apartment and asked if she would like to go on a date with me. I wouldn't have asked for the evening off, but it was our first date, and I wanted to do it on a Saturday as dates traditionally are rather than waiting until Monday."

Rachel sighed to herself. "I know things aren't going to be easy and there's a good chance that one or both of us will end up hurt again, but I decided I needed to try. That's not to say I'm just going to jump head first into things; I'm certainly going to be cautious this time."

She had always worn her heart and her sleeve, falling for people too easily and being overly emotional, and it had only ever resulted in her getting hurt. She was determined not to do that this time, though; she was open to seeing where things with Quinn went, but things were different than they were in high school. She couldn't just throw herself into the deep end and hope she made it out alive. She knew she had to be more practical than that this time.

"Are you going to tell me how the date was?" Stephanie asked.

"It went well," Rachel replied. "Maybe not as much in the beginning. I guess I was a little nervous, but once we began eating, we started talking, and I relaxed. And then after dinner we went to a play—a modern retelling of A Midsummer Night's Dream. We ended up stopping at an ice cream parlor not too far from her apartment, and then I walked her home. I wanted to keep thing simple on our first date while still having a good time, and I think I accomplished that."

"Are you going out again?" Stephanie asked.

Rachel shrugged. "We haven't discussed that yet. I'm not sure what the protocol for calling someone after a first date is, but calling her this morning seemed a little too soon, so I thought I would wait. I imagine there will be a second date in our future, though."

Stephanie hummed and then asked. "It wasn't weird at all?"

"It was a little strange being out on a date with her, yes," Rachel replied. "We rarely went out while we were together during high school. She was too afraid someone we knew would see us, so the few times we did go out, we left town. Even then, being out of town, it was hard to relax." Rachel shook her head. "It was strange being out to dinner with her and not having to worry about that. It was always such a point of contention with us. I just wanted us to be like every other couple, but even when we tried, Quinn was always on guard. You can imagine how weird it felt for Quinn to tell me to not be so nervous."

"It sounds like she's changed a lot," Stephanie remarked.

"Yeah," Rachel agreed. "But at the same time, she hasn't. Not from the Quinn I got to know. In public, yes, but when it was just us in my bedroom, where she didn't have to worry putting on some facade, she was always a different person. That was the person I fell in love with. Not the cheerleader who was concerned with popularity and winning prom queen, but the person Quinn was when she was simply being herself.

"It always made me sad that she wasn't willing to show that side to others. She was always so serious around everyone else, but she could actually be quite funny and silly when she wanted to be. I always thought she would be even more popular if she would let people see the real Quinn. No one would have been able to resist falling in love with her." She glanced at Stephanie. "What? Why are you giving me that look?"

Stephanie smiled and shook her head. "Nothing. I'm just glad you had a good time."

Rachel glanced at her phone on her dressing room table. She had been putting calling off Quinn for the past hour, telling herself she'd call when she was finally alone. Now, though, everyone was gone and she was out of excuses.

She wasn't really sure why she was so nervous about calling Quinn. It wasn't as if they hadn't been through all of this once before. She and Quinn had kissed countless times, they had been on a first date before, they had made love to one another—so why was calling Quinn so difficult? She'd never really been in this situation before, though. In high school, things had kind of just happened with Quinn, and both times she had been with Finn, he had been the one to ask her out first, so she didn't have to worry about the proper procedure for contacting someone after a first date.

Sighing, Rachel looked at the clock and knew she needed to make up her mind one way or another. Her evening show would be starting in twenty-five minutes and she would miss her opportunity until after the show, which wouldn't be horribly late to call but still a little later than she would like. She also knew the call would be on her mind if she didn't do it now, and the last thing she wanted was to be distracted by anything while performing. So, without a lot of options left, she walked over, grabbed her phone from the table, and quickly called Quinn's number.

"Hey," Quinn answered.

Rachel smiled to herself. "Hi, Quinn. Is this a bad time?"

"Not at all," Quinn replied. "I was actually thinking about calling you, but I didn't know if you'd want to be interrupted before your show."

Rachel gave a light laugh. "I had a similar dilemma. I wasn't sure if you would be busy today and I didn't want to interrupt you if you were doing something on your day off. And, of course, today has been incredibly busy, and I just—I wasn't entirely certain when I should call."

"For future reference, you can call me anytime," Quinn replied. "I really don't do a lot on weekends, and even if you call when I'm at work, I'll call you back as soon as I can."

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked. "I wouldn't want to bother you while you're at work."

"You wouldn't be," Quinn replied.

"Really?" Rachel asked.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Quinn asked back.

"No reason, really," Rachel replied. "It's just —Finn didn't really like when I called him while he was at work, so I always tried not to. Of course, his workplace didn't really allow him to take personal calls while he was on the clock, so I could understand why he wouldn't want me calling him."

"He couldn't call you during his break?" Quinn asked.

"He liked to socialize with his friends during his breaks," Rachel replied

Quinn hummed. "Well, I see everyone at work eight hours a day, five days a week, so don't feel bad about it."

"I'll keep that it mind," Rachel replied.

"Do," Quinn said. "Unless you're actually calling me to tell me you had a terrible time last night and this is the last time we'll ever be talking."

Rachel laughed. "I had far from a terrible time, Quinn."

"Good," Quinn replied. "Does that mean we can have lunch tomorrow?"

"I actually have a hair appointment around one, but if you would like to meet a little earlier, we could certainly have lunch together," Rachel said. "I don't know if your lunch hour is flexible."

"It can be," Quinn replied.

"Well, then, how about we meet around eleven?" Rachel asked. "I can meet you outside your building and we can find a place to have lunch."

"Sounds good," Quinn replied.

"Great," Rachel said, glancing over as the door to the dressing room opened. "I'll see you then. Goodbye."

"And how is Finn?" Liz asked.

"What?" Rachel asked, looking over at her.

"The phone call," Liz said, motioning toward the phone still in Rachel's.

"Oh, that wasn't—that was a-a friend from high school," Rachel replied.

"Well, then, how is Kurt?" Alyson asked.

"I can only assume Kurt is well, but it was a different friend," Rachel said.

Stephanie's eyebrows rose, but she didn't say anything. Rachel hadn't confided in any of her other cast mates about her engagement being off or about Finn moving out of the city. She planned on telling them eventually—probably when one of them noticed her engagement ring no longer being on her finger—but for now, she didn't really want to talk about it. She'd already had to have the same conversation several times, and she didn't feel like having to do it again. At least not right then.

"Have you been here before?" Rachel asked, looking around the cafe as she and Quinn were shown to their table.

"Once," Quinn replied.

"It's very charming," Rachel commented.

"The food's good, too," Quinn said, receiving a smile from the hostess.

"Your waitress will be right with you," she said.

Rachel picked up her menu, glancing over the top of it at Quinn for a moment. Her hair was back in a ponytail and Rachel couldn't help thinking about how often she'd seen her like that. As a cheerleader, Quinn had been forced to keep her hair in a ponytail, but whenever she had come over to Rachel's, she had always left it down. She had come to associate the ponytail with 'school Quinn' as she had mentally called her.

"You okay?" Quinn asked.

Rachel hummed and glanced over at her again. "Yes, I'm fine."

Quinn opened her mouth but closed it as their waitress came to the table. After being assured that it was one of the best things on the menu, Rachel picked the first sandwich that had caught her eye while Quinn had opted for a salad. By the time the waitress was walking away, Rachel had already forgotten what they had been talking about before she arrived, so when she noticed Quinn looking at her, she furrowed her brows.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Are you really okay?" Quinn asked.

"What makes you think I'm not?" Rachel asked back.

"Because I know you," Quinn replied. "You may not be the same person you were in high school, but your face still gives you away."

"Nothing is wrong exactly," Rachel said. "I was just thinking how I hadn't seen you with a ponytail in a long time. That's all."

Quinn slowly nodded. "And you were thinking about high school."

"Yes," Rachel replied with a sigh. "It's hard not to sometimes when I'm with you. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," Quinn said. "It's not like I don't think about it, too. You're not the only one who hated high school."

"What made you go to the reunion, then?" Rachel wondered.

Quinn shrugged. "Mercedes and Tina somehow found out where I was and my phone number, and they kept calling me. They said they wanted everyone from the Glee Club there, and neither of them would take no for an answer. I eventually agreed so they would leave me alone." Quinn paused for a moment and then shrugged again. "And I wanted to see you."

"But you barely spoke to me at the reunion," Rachel replied.

Quinn smiled and said, "You didn't exactly make it easy to. You wouldn't even look at me that night at Breadstix, so I knew then that you probably didn't want to talk to me. And then when I did talk to you, it was clear that you would rather be doing anything else."

"But you still tried to talk to me when we ran into each other at the Lima Bean," Rachel replied.

"And that went so well," Quinn said, giving her a wry smile. "I just wanted to know how you were. I don't know; I guess I was hoping you would actually talk to me. I didn't exactly think we would ever be friends or anything, but—I missed you. You were the best friend I had in high school."

"And if I had been willing to be friends?" Rachel asked. "Would you have been able to be friends with me?"

"If you were happy, yes," Quinn replied.

"Is that why you asked me if I was happy with Finn?" Rachel asked. "You've said you weren't trying to come between us, but I don't know if I believe that."

"I asked because I've seen you happy, and you didn't seem very happy when I saw you together," Quinn replied. "Did I wish you weren't with him and did I push you a little bit when we talked? Yeah, I did. But if you and Finn had been meant to be, I don't think things wouldn't have fallen apart so easily just because we talked. I would never have tried anything with you while you were with him. If you were happy and in love with him, I would have accepted it."

"But I was still so angry with you," Rachel stated. "If I had been happy enough with Finn, that wouldn't have been the case, would it?" She sighed. "Not that I wanted to believe that at the time, but Kurt and Stephanie refused to let me remain in denial."

"Do you wish they had?" Quinn asked.

Rachel didn't answer for a few moments, but she eventually said, "I don't know. It was certainly easier when I knew my plan for my life."

"And everyone knows how much you like having everything planned," Quinn replied.

Rachel nodded. "Exactly."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," Quinn said.

"Don't be," Rachel replied. "It's not really your fault even if I did like to blame you for everything. I was just upset. I'm sorry I yelled at you so much."

"Don't be," Quinn said. "We both said what we needed to say. If we hadn't, we probably wouldn't be here right now."

"You're right," Rachel said with a slight smile before the waitress interrupted them to bring their drinks.

"Hi, Dad," Rachel said when she answered her ringing phone.

"Hi, honey," Hiram replied. "You're not busy or anything, are you?"

"No, I was just doing a little cleaning while waiting for the laundry to dry," Rachel replied, putting her duster on the coffee table as she sat down on the couch. "Certainly nothing that can't wait."

"How are you doing?" Hiram asked.

"I'm fine," Rachel replied.

Her fathers had been calling her a lot more over the past month than they usually did. She knew they were both still worried about her even though she'd tried to assure them that she was alright every time they spoke. Not only that, but whenever they talked, her fathers subtly—and sometimes not so subtly—tried to ask her why she wanted the break with Finn in the first place, but she was avoiding the question.

The thought of finally telling them everything was almost as bad as thinking about telling Finn. She knew they were going to be hurt that she'd lied to them for so long. She had always been close to her fathers, telling them just about everything until the day Quinn had kissed her in the choir room. It had caused quite a bit of strain on their relationship since she could no longer talk to them the way she once could, but things had gotten better once high school was over, and the last thing she wanted was for her relationship with them to become strained once again.

"How are you and Daddy?" Rachel asked.

"We're good," Hiram replied. "Your father's discovered some website that has nothing but cookie recipes, so the house is overrun with sweets at the moment."

Rachel laughed. "There are worse things to be overrun with."

"Tell that to my waistline," Hiram said. "I think I've went up a pant size this week."

"Is that where Daddy is right now?" Rachel asked. "Baking?"

"No, he's at the store," Hiram replied. "He ran out of flour or something."

Rachel laughed again. "Well, you could always tell him to send some my way if you're getting tired of them. Although, with as much as I've been eating out, I don't know if my waist line can really take it, either."

"Is work keeping you that busy?" Hiram asked. "I thought you usually cooked, or at least you've mentioned it a lot.

"Yes, but no more than usual," Rachel replied. "I just don't feel like cooking for only myself most days."

"Have you talked to him at all?" Hiram asked.

"No," Rachel replied. "I haven't really tried calling him since the week he left, though. He knows where I am if he wishes to contact me, but I don't imagine that's going to happen anytime soon."

"You don't exactly sound that upset about it," Hiram noted.

"I've just accepted it," Rachel replied. "Nothing is going to change what happened; Finn is going to do as he wants. I wish things could have turned out differently, but sometimes things just happen and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Honey, are you ever going to tell us what exactly happened?" Hiram asked.

"There's not a lot to tell," Rachel replied. "I told you I wished for us to take a break, but Finn wasn't willing to do that."

"I know, but a few months ago, you were planning your wedding," Hiram said. "Something had to have changed."

"I suppose I simply started examining my life," Rachel replied. "I'm fine, though; you and Daddy don't have to worry about me."

"It's our job," Hiram said.

"Well, you can take a vacation from it then," Rachel replied. "I'm alright. I wish Finn wasn't so upset with me, but he is, and there's nothing I can do to change that. I've adjusted to my new life, and I'm okay now."

She still missed having someone to come home to, but she was no longer as sad as she had been. She was no longer watching depressing movies with Kurt every night, and her diet consisted of things other than junk food. She was done grieving for the future she would no longer have, and she was moving on. She really did wish Finn would speak to her because she hated thinking that he probably hated her, but that was out of her control.

"Would you tell us if you weren't okay?" Hiram asked.

"Of course," Rachel replied. "But that's irrelevant at the moment. I'm fine; I promise you."

"Alright," Hiram said. "I'll drop it. For now"

Rachel smiled. "Thank you. For both the concern and for dropping it."

"You're welcome," Hiram said with a light chuckle.

"She's back," Stephanie said, nudging Rachel in the side.

"Who is back?" Rachel asked.

Stephanie nodded to the side, and Rachel smiled at the girl whose program she was signing before glancing at where Stephanie had indicated. She frowned slightly, not seeing whoever Stephanie was talking about, but then Nick took a step to the side and Rachel saw exactly who she was referring to.

Rachel signed a few more autographs and took some pictures with the ones who asked, including one with Stephanie and Alyson. She could feel Quinn's eyes on her the whole time, and when she turned and headed toward the end of the line, Quinn was looking intently at her with a slight smile of her face.

"What are you doing here, Quinn?" Rachel asked. "Were you just in the neighborhood?"

"No, not really," Quinn replied.

Rachel gave a light laugh and shook her head. "Well, at least you're honest."

She glanced over her shoulder and saw that Stephanie was still only about halfway through the line, talking with a younger girl. Rachel was thankful that Stephanie was taking her time and she hoped she wouldn't be done anytime soon. She knew Stephanie would want to be introduced to Quinn, but Rachel wasn't entirely ready to do that yet.

"I actually just wanted to see you," Quinn said after a few moments.

Rachel looked into Quinn's eyes for any sign that she was lying, but she couldn't see one, and then ducked her head when she felt herself blushing. The theater wasn't exactly close to Quinn's apartment, and Rachel couldn't remember the last time anyone had gone that out of their way just to see her. It was certainly a departure from Finn, who had never once just shown up at the theater to see her. In fact, the only time he had ever been there was opening night when she was still in the ensemble.

"Is there any particular reason you wanted to see me?" Rachel asked.

Quinn shook her head. "Other than that's been a couple days, not really."

"Oh," Rachel replied.

"And I also wanted to ask if you were doing anything this weekend," Quinn added.

"Working," Rachel said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Do you think you would be okay with having dinner on Friday, then?" Quinn asked.

"I think I would be okay with that," Rachel replied. "Although, I do have a show that evening."

"I was thinking we could have dinner before your show," Quinn said. "I know it's a little early, but I didn't know if you would want to wait until after the show."

"Before would be fine," Rachel replied.

"The show starts at seven, right?" Quinn asked.

Rachel nodded. "Do you have a restaurant in mind? If you choose one close to the theater, it would give us a little more time. I usually like to get here a little early, usually by six-fifteen, but it's not really necessary that I'm here. As long as I have enough time to do my hair and makeup and get in costume, I'll be okay. I can do that in ten minutes if need be."

"Do you have any recommendations?" Quinn asked.

"A few," Rachel replied. "There are a lot of restaurants around here, but some are a lot better than others. A lot of them are quite mediocre and highly overpriced. I can send you a list of the better ones if you would like me to."

"Yeah, sure," Quinn said.

Rachel smiled. "Great."

Rachel heard someone clear their throat behind her and she didn't need to turn around to know that it was Stephanie. Quinn's eyes flitted over Rachel's shoulder at the noise before looking back to her with her eyebrow slightly raised, clearly not pleased with the interruption.

"Um, Quinn, this is Stephanie, my cast mate," Rachel introduced. "Stephanie is the lead in the show, but I'm sure you remember that. Stephanie, this is Quinn."

"I've heard a lot about you," Stephanie said.

"I can't really say the same," Quinn replied.

Rachel gave Quinn an exasperated look, but Stephanie just laughed. It was true that she hadn't told her a lot about Stephanie, but she'd certainly mentioned her once or twice.

"I'm not surprised," Stephanie said. "From what I've heard, you two haven't done a lot of talking."

"Oh my god," Rachel replied, covering her face with her hands.

When she finally looked up, she could see a slight tinge to Quinn's cheeks, and she knew she wasn't the only one who was embarrassed. Quinn, however, was a little better at hiding it than she was. Rachel felt like her face was on fire, and she was sure that it also looked like it was if the amused look on Stephanie's face was any indication.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Stephanie said, laughing as she nudged Rachel's shoulder.

"Goodnight," Rachel called after her as her friend began walking away.

"I should let you get home," Quinn said a few moments later.

Rachel nodded. "I'll send you that list of restaurants in the morning."

"I'll see you Friday," Quinn replied.

For a moment, Rachel thought she was going to just walk away, but then she stopped and turned back around. Quinn hesitated for a few seconds, but then took a step toward Rachel, bringing their lips together in a soft, lingering kiss.

"Night," Quinn said as Rachel's eyes fluttered open.

"Goodnight, Quinn," Rachel softly replied.