~Chapter Twenty Four~

Past, Present, and Future

We Hold Onto Each Other.
All We Have Is All We Need.
Because One Way Or Another,
We Always Think It's You and Me.

This Life Could Almost Kill Ya,
When You're Trying To Survive.
It's Good To Be Here With Ya,
And It's Good To Be Alive.

I Was Lost, And I Was Gone.
I Was Almost Dead Inside.

You're A Second Chance For Me.

~Good to Be Alive, by Skillet

Disclaimer: Me No Own; You No Sue.

"Seth," I sighed and reached forward to lightly swat at his chest, which only served in hurting my now red fingertips. Sucking the pained fingers into my mouth, I glared daggers at the cheerful idiot that found this funny and rudely reiterated, "Where the fuck –?"

"Edoras," Seth said, interrupting the beginnings of the verbal abuse without worry. He opened his mouth again, paused at the surprised and annoyed expression in my eyes, and then grinned lightly in good humor. His smile softened, like melted butter, and his fingers wrapped around mine. "We're finally home, Sammy."

Sound exploded, like fireworks, in my ears. I whipped backwards to stare, incredulous, at the big brother that I believed to be dead and long gone. Death stole something from me. Beautiful music filled the bedroom, the thick notes of the country singing and rushing in my veins, before floating serenely between us. Blue, gray, green, orange, purple, indigo, yellow, red, black, and white – the rainbow of musical notes bumped into the muscles of his arms and caressed at the soft skin of the face that I turned to him. Born together, die together.

And I realized then that Seth would always be with me.

Nothing could separate us.

Not Daddy.

Not Death.

No one.

Silently, I stared through the window, remembering the touch of flowers and tall strands of long grass on my ankles while I darted through the lands of the Riddermark. I was suddenly living in Edoras, however, and the difference in nature was astounding! The vast slopes of the hills and the mountains were gone. Waves of dark and yellow green grass greeted the gentle curiosity swimming in my eyes, instead. And I sighed with longing. It called to me, and because this would be the first time that I'd been inside in about two months, I shuffled forward in the window seat to press myself closer to the outside, where the beloved wild remained.

You were meant to live in another world.

Middle Earth.

My lips trembled faintly, pulling downwards into a scowl, and I leaned forward, further still until I could breathe in the heady scent of the grass, and the trees, and the sunshine. There were nights that I missed sleeping in normal beds, like most girls would, but I did not mind sleeping outdoors and beneath the moon and stars. The blankets, old and threadbare from constant use, were warm and familiar, like Aragorn. The Ranger was always two feet away, so close and yet too far away, and his hand reached for mine whenever I sadly – no, desperately – called out for Seth in my sleep. His gentle lips brushed against my ear and whispered, "I'm here for you."

Oddly enough, I missed Aragorn in spite of what transpired outside of Fangorn Forest. I missed him like I missed Seth, too, which meant that I missed him almost constantly. I also missed the sweet taste of wild apples, bruised skin bursting with flavor, and the cold shade of passing trees, and the warmth of the golden light brushing against my eyes. I could faintly hear Aragorn and Boromir calling out to me. Little One!

All of it, the sunshine and the warmth and the endearments and the companionship, remained just beyond the reach of outstretched fingertips, calling to me. I could hear it, but the music was much too soft beneath the rush of blood that pounded in my ears. Emotions screamed within me, too, and clouded the judgment that I wished to be crystal clear. Longing and confusion warred within me. Seth was mine again. He was alive, safe, and here – with me.

Why, then, did I feel like I had left behind another part of myself?

Little One…

I stretched both arms out to touch the foliage. It shrouded the window in shade and brushed gentle fingertips against leaves, yellow and red flowers, and strong branches. There were several trees and bushes beneath the window, from which ivy and vines climbed upwards, towards the window through which I peered. My face, framed by the window and the ivy, turned upwards, towards the skies. The smell of sunshine and wildflowers reached quivering nostrils, and I breathed in sharply, savoring the familiar scents of milkweed, horses, fireplaces, and by extension –

Bacon! I mentally screamed and danced around like a crazy person, waving arms and hands and legs with joy. My happy dance ended, however, when I realized that while I could certainly smell the bacon, I could not see it. Dammit…

My belly growled at the smell of salt and meat, burning with hunger at the possibility of being able to devour something other than that damn Lembas. Not that I wasn't grateful for the thick and filling bread! But I couldn't standthe plain taste of bread passing into the growling depths of the cold, empty belly within me. My recent weight loss might also be attributed to the damn bread and frequent miles of walking each day, though, which I really hated to admit to anyone – and especially not Legolas. He was egotistical enough without additional help from me.

Besides, I preferred to think it the amazing willpower I'd developed in the last several months of rigorous weapon and magical training! Walking helped, too. Note my sarcasm. Ha, ha, ha!

Smiling, Seth jumped upwards from the bed, patted the growling beasts hidden beneath his tunic, and dramatically exclaimed, "Well, I could eat Aglæca right now!" He grinned at the resounding growl from my own stomach and reached down beside the bed to pull two trays, each filled with meats, fruits, bread, and water, upwards to us. "Hungry, Twin?"

"No, I'm not hungry in the least, Seth," I sarcastically retorted and stared at him with narrowed blue eyes. Then, I responded in kind by grinning rather enthusiastically at the pouting soldier, who grinned back and offered the tray with the most meat to me. My stomach lurched at the familiar special treatment, and I hastily said, "Yeah, 'cuz I'm actually starving!" I tried to laugh. "Duh…!"

Seth blanched and gritted his teeth together, his facial expression becoming tight and frightened and pissed off. I grimaced beneath the intensity of his expression and the weight that suddenly filled the room, crushing both Seth and I. The gentle rumble of quiet hunger transformed into the phantom pains of desperation and fear that seemed to follow us around all throughout our years as children and teenagers.

Starvation…

Yes, I remembered well the almost constant hunger that clawed inside of the growling confines of the endless black hole that I referred to as a stomach. Breakfast was the most important meal of the day, and I did regularly eat in the morning, but that single meal could not compare to the desired three meals of breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And I could not fill the void within with only the buttered toast, cereal, and fruit offered for breakfast each morning.

When I angered Daddy, be it intentionally or not, I would receive much less food than normal for lunch and dinner. If I was quiet, I could sneak off in the middle of the night to pilfer perishable foods, including cookies, from the kitchen panties – and without getting caught. Other times, I would be discovered hiding between the wall and the sacks of potatoes at the bottom of the pantry. Daddy did not particularly like it when I did this and tried to fix the problem by 'knocking some sense into me.'

More often than not, therefore, I did not eat again until breakfast the next morning…

It would have been enough if I did not work hard, but I did, and the exertion burned through the heavy calories of breakfast in little time – three hours, at the most. Because Seth and I worked hard to keep the ranch running by feeding, taming, and brushing the horses, I became sick and vomited, whereas Seth regularly passed out from the overall lack of nourishment. He curled further into himself each day, seeking salvation, and prayed for us. I cried until Daddy just snapped and hit me. Then I became silent.

"What the fuck kinda fairytale ya'll livin' in, girl?"

Guilt welled inside me, since I realized that Seth only wanted to make certain that I remained well cared for, like always. Daddy might not feel the need to provide for his two children, but Seth always made certain that I would be given enough food to keep me strong, fit, and healthy enough to survive life at the ranch. This often resulted in the older male not being able to eat as much, but Seth didn't hold it against me or complain. He always sacrificed his needs to provide for my own – and with that adorable smile of his, too.

Seth always smiled…

Oh, Twin. My heart swelled with the realization that this beautiful part of Seth, the desperate need to care and to love, had not changed during our years apart, either. God, I missed being your sister so much that it hurt sometimes, but now…

So many questions burned in my mind! How could I tell him that I managed to find the strength to fend for myself? Or that Boromir and Aragorn could help me, as well? Should I fall back into who I used to be, with him, or remain as who I had become?

What should I do?

Rather than refusing his kindness, however, I immediately cut into the cooked meat, savoring the flavor of the salt and the exotic spices that exploded against my pink tongue. I suddenly realized the extent of hunger burning in my stomach and consumed the rest of the meat within minutes. I then proceeded to devour the plate of fresh fruit placed beside the first one. Red apples, a small handful of raisins, and two bananas quickly disappeared, too, followed by the buttered bread to the left of the tankard of fresh well water. The water was soon gone, as well.

We munched in silence, and I admit to being only vaguely conscious of the fact that Seth watched this ravenous act of food consumption with worried frown lines and wide eyes. I know that I must have reminded him – and rather painfully, at that – of the time before Seth and I left home. That time before Seth joined the military and could eat whatever and whenever at the Mess Hall, and before I started college, where I regularly shoveled down food to combat the desperate fear of being forced to starve again. Yes, I gained about seventy pounds that year, shooting upwards from 100 to 170 pounds, but I remained full and healthy and happy.

He cleared his throat, but I continued to focus upon eating the raisins that Seth pushed to the right side of his breakfast tray with disgust. Seth might have developed the luxury of picking and choosing his meals while in the military in our world and theirs, but I could not afford to be picky when forced to eat bread and bread and only bread! I needed something other than bread! My lips tingled lightly from the surplus of flavors, and I licked the remaining juices from my parted lips, satisfied. I leaned backwards, letting the food settle into its place and digest by curling comfortably into the pillows at my side, which smelled of Seth.

Briefly, I wondered if this bedroom belonged to him…

You know who I am.

Speaking of the Devil, Seth stared down at me, and then the empty plate, and back to me again in horror. He then darkly demanded, "Did the Fellowshits –" To which I snorted in amusement and mild jealousy, because I did not think of it first. "– not feel the need to give ya a good meal o' meat every once and awhile?" His forest green eyes were narrowed in protective anger.

"Yeah, I just haven't eaten meat in a pretty long time, Seth," I calmly responded, leaning forward to place both hands to his shoulders when the taller male moved to bolt upwards and dive for the door. He was probably intent upon murdering the nearest member of the Fellowship…

Where is everyone now, anyway? I worriedly wondered, turning to stare straight out the window with furrowed eyebrows and dark eyes, as if I might be able to find them by simply checking the passerby for the familiar beard of Gimli, the familiar blue irises of Legolas, the familiar laugh of Boromir, and the familiar smile of Aragorn. My heart dropped when I realized that it could be possible for the Fellowship to still be in – and here, I shuddered and wiped moisture from my palms at the memories of dark trees whispering a song of the dead – Fangorn Forest.

"Seth…" I removed both hands from his shaking shoulders and climbed into his lap to keep him with me, palms pressed to his chest and head buried in his neck, breathing in his scent. My lips curled upwards into a smile, and I explained, "It's easiest for the Fellowship to carry only the necessities while traveling, Twin."

"Food is a necessity, Sammy!" Seth exclaimed, throwing his masculine hands to the ceiling in a quick display of exasperation. He rolled his green eyes, irritated with both the Fellowship and his Twin, and muttered, "Fuckin' idiots brought my sister with 'em on a suicide mission – and then didn't fuckin' 'member to feed 'er!"

Amused, I titled both cheeks and chin to the side, before witnessing yet another of his (over) protective episodes with dancing sky blue eyes. What the fuck, Seth? My lips twitched into a small smile, which I decided to hide from his view, lest I be scolded by Big Brother Seth for being too careless, too thoughtless, or too mindless of what I needed to survive. Mister Pot should meet the Kettle, eh?

"Shit!" His country accented words, rich with the honey of the ranch, slowly gave way to loud snarls, and Seth furiously growled, "Fuckin' Fellowshits!" He continued to mutter rude insults beneath his breath, including comments about stupidity and inbreeding. "What the fuck is up with all o' the motherfucking bread, Pillsbury Dough Boy…?"

Oh, right! Lembas Bread. My nose curled at the memories of not getting food but once every twenty hours while running with the rest of the Fellowship and towards the next designated stop in our journey. I remembered, without problem, the lack of food and the chance to eat only one meal each day. Nibbling at the Lembas Bread did bother me on occasion, but I attributed this dislike to the fact that I likened it to my painful childhood. However, I also realized that the situation could have been much worse, too. And I accepted that without a worry or care.

Why could I ignore my concerns and fears? Because in my mind, I could feel Aragorn hug me closer, the smell of pipe smoke burning in my nostrils and comforting me. His large hands were on mine, exerting gentle pressure, and I could hear him whisper his promise –"We will protect you."

Daddy could not hurt me anymore.

I am my own person.

Sensing his growing horror and ire at the familiarity of the situation that I'd accepted, however, I wrapped his shaking hands in mine and carefully explained, "A small load of food, like Lembas Bread, remained light in our packs and heavy in our stomachs." Which I quoted directly from Prince Legolas!

"No fuckin' wonder you're all skin 'n bones, Twin," Seth muttered in disgust, his large hands wrapping around the meat – or rather, the lack thereof – at my wrist. He dropped the limb to rest in his lap and buried his face in my neck. "You've been eatin' nothin' but bread for the last two months!"

I grimaced.

Don't remind me!

Shrugging, I grinned at his rather critical assessment, which did not hurt my sensitive feelings like it might have long ago, and cheerfully said, "On the bright side, Seth, I finally managed to rid myself of that extra twenty or so pounds that I wanted to lose back at Univeristy!"

My smile brightened at the fresh memories of that strong and confident girl in the forest water, standing tall and proud throughout the perusal of this nameless and frightened stranger. That girl remained beautiful not because of her natural charm, but because of her confidence. I could feel, could remember, the feeling of pride that reared its head at being able to stare into her – my – eyes without shame burning in my stomach. That girl remained confident in her ability to overcome, overpower, and overwhelm her trials and tribulations. I am my own person.

"You were jus' fine 'n dandy before all o' this shit hit the fan, Sammy," Seth muttered with dark irritation, lips firm and lined under his nose. His cheeks looked swollen beneath the force of his clenched teeth and his chin jutted outwards, a sign of his stubborn attitude. "Nowhere near perfect, Angel, but good enough for me…"

I could feel the soft blush that painted both cheeks pinker at the compliment; however, I glanced upwards to stare into his eyes, unashamed that I appreciated his sweet words. "Thanks, Seth," I said, kissing his cheek in appreciation, and gently explained, "but I feel much healthier and all around happier without that extra weight."

My big brother scowled briefly when I mentioned this desire to lose weight before drinking in my sincere happiness, which glowed in my eyes, and smile, and skin. He paused to stare at this profound change from the days in that shared childhood between us. Seventeen years of painful suffering, of heartache, and of countless troubles and difficulties flashed in his forest green eyes. Seth opened his mouth to speak, to draw attention to the countless wounds burned into his soft flesh and mine, but closed it again without another word. My Twin could not find it within his heart to mention the desperate fear of the past. He did not want to ruin my sudden happiness.

Daddy cannot hurt me anymore.

Honestly, I didn't want to hurt him and ruin his happiness, either. By leaving his side to traverse through the wild for the umpteenth time, however, I would be doing just that to Seth. I wanted to help Aragorn, Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, and the Hobbits with the quest, but I could not willingly pick which side to follow now. We each wanted to fight for the side of the Light. There were smaller factions within the side of the Light, however, like the Elves, the Riders, and the Fellowship. Hell, Seth joined the Riders, and I belonged with the Fellowship!

The War of the Ring is really fucking complicated…

Thankfully, Aragorn and the others would eventually be here in Edoras, as well. No longer would I be forced to choose between whom I loved and wanted to fight with – My Twin and My Family. If given the chance, I would readily stake claims for both. I would have Seth, Aragorn, and Boromir. Legolas, Gimli, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin were not overly fond of who I used to be, but I had changed for the better. Perhaps I could be friends with them, too?

I smiled into the warmth of late afternoon, tired – but satisfied that I made the right choices this time around. It remained strange, almost unbelievable, that I could claim this dysfunctional but wonderful family as my own. How amazing that I was able to love all of these people when I used to have only Seth! No father or mother or cousins to watch out for me. Just Seth, who I believed to be the most important at the moment. Just Seth, who was all alone without the Riders and in need of friends. Just Seth and Sammy.

One love shall be born of memories.

One shall live.

One will die.

Yes, I needed to stay close to Seth for now. He was my precious big brother. One day, I would need to part ways with him again, but that day would not be for several weeks to come. Thus, I decided to take advantage of this reunion and spend each passing minute with him. Seth and I would reclaim the memories, bit by bit, and thus the time taken from us as well.

Now, however, Seth and I had all of the time in the world to resurrect the bond between us. So I curled closer into his side, content for the moment to rest in the safety of his arms, and waited for sleep to come. Blue eyes closed, lips parted, and muscles relaxed before slumber came. Dreams of Aragorn stirred within my mind, like whispers in the night, and I smiled at the familiar husky laugh that echoed inside me. Aragorn, I promise that I will be there for you, too…

"Sleep well, Angel," Seth whispered, his hands curled into the soft locks of blonde hair that still connected him to me, a string of gold from his head to mine. He smiled into the hair that tickled his chin, leaning down to kiss my nose and closed eyelids. "I love ya."

Love will always prevail.

"Love ya, too, Seth…"

I promise.

***Author's Note***

Hello again! I'm still posting the edited version - Edited 2015.

UPDATED - Some of Sammy's reactions to some stuff changed. :)

So, I wanted to explain the inner turmoil Sammy is suffering now. She knows of her duties to the Fellowship but wants to spend time with Seth. Sammy, who is socially inept, is starting to realize that her heart is being pulled into different directions because of her love for so many people. She used to love only Seth. It is a really big change for her to recognize, understand, and then finally accept.

Some important questions will be answered next chapter, like how Seth managed to find Sammy and why the two are in Edoras - without the Fellowship. The action will also start to pick up again! The next chapter will end with a nice bang. Look forward to it, yeah? ;)

Thanks so much for the continued support! I love, love, love the reviews and appreciate you all taking the time to leave feedback and favorite my story. It means so much to me. THANK YOU! :)

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!

Update = ~300ish Reviews

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