Disclaimer: (See Chapter 1)

Its hard to update these chapters during the Christmas season, especially since I have so many art gifts to do for people by then. (Some might not be until after Christmas, sorry) And there are still several more chapters to go. I'm thinking this fic will be getting towards the 30s area. I better get crackin' then huh?

Please take care, read and review,

Rocky-White Wolf of Curses

There were two kinds of hate; loathing and just pure hatred. That's what Courtney and I were feeling; pure hatred. We hated each other so much that we couldn't face one another, which meant I couldn't my dog tags from her. So Slade had to do it for me.

When Slade handed them to me and I placed them around my neck, he told me that Cora had protested.

'She didn't want to give them to you until you apologized,' he had said.'She got angry at me after I forced them from her.'

He told her that she was the one that needed to apologize for not telling me about my sister's death in the first place. I had to agree with him, but for a different reason; she was just being a lousy friend.

On a lighter note worth mentioning, we had found a solution for Sheilee's wing.

Slade remember Phoenix telling about my future self's arm that was blown off by the Crimson Alchemist and how a young girl made him a new arm made from automail. Apparently Slade knew a guy, whose name escapes me, that knew a lot about automail and on how to make it light enough for human use. He's now explaining the surgery and procedure with Sheilee in my room for Sheilee's sake of the others, while I'm looking at blueprints of a mall Slade wanted me to study. Why a mall, I didn't know.

"The surgery is very simple, but the automail wing insertion is difficult and a bit painful. First Brother Blood ('That was his name! How could I have missed that?') must cut off the wing at the joint and then-"

"Whoa! Wait a minute!" Sheilee interrupted angrily. "I have to have my useless wing cut off and then replaced by an ugly, metal one afterwards?!"

I glanced at them over my right shoulder, pen poised in my hand.

"That is the case, yes, but we plan on taking the old feathers and attach them to the automail wing."

Sheilee looked embarrassed after Slade said this.

"Oh, well..."

She stopped, allowing Slade to continue.

"After the surgery, it will get worse."

"Removing her wing, joint and all, will be worse enough as it is," I said, looking back at my notes and blueprint. "And what I don't get is why you, of all people, would even care if she had a new wing or not."

There was a short pause after this; I could feel both Sheilee and Slade looking at me.

"Do you not want me to have a new wing, Rocky?" Sheilee asked.

I waved my writing hand at her question.

"Of course I do. I just don't understand why Slade would even allow it. Its not like he cares about any of us, right?"

A lot of silence followed this statement.

"Its the fact that she keeps complaining about it," Slade eventually replied. "I'm fed up with her whining."

"What?! I haven't been-!"

"Don't bother, Sheil," I said. "I was just curious about his intentions."

Slade continued.

"During the insertion process, it has to go through your muscles, bones, and tendons the whole time you are awake."

There was a pause and then...

"WHAT?!?!?!?!"

I dropped my pen on the floor in order to cover my ears with my hands.

"God Sheilee. Blow my ear drums out," I said.

I lowered my hands and bent over the arm rest in order to get my pen from the floor. I picked it up and sat back up.

"Why do I have to be awake during the worst part of this surgery?!" Sheilee asked angrily. "Do you like hearing someone's pain?!"

I turned in my chair to look at Sheilee.

"If you get knocked out, your blood stops flowing and it'll be impossible to get the automail to attach to your muscles and tendons correctly," I explained. "Besides, the pain will be so intense that it'll make you pass out afterwards anyways."

Slade placed a reassuring hand on Sheilee's shoulder. She had started to cry; she wasn't very fond of immense pain.

"Think of it this way; you'll feel whole again. Then you can fly again. You want to fly again, do you not?"

Sheilee looked up at Slade, tears streaming down her face. I stared intently at Slade.

What are you doing, Slade?

Sheilee nodded. Slade smiled reassuringly; he had kept his mask of on occasions like this.

"Brother Blood will be here in 3 days to begin the surgery," he said. "Don't dwell on it too much."

Sheilee nodded.

"Okay."

Slade turned and walked out the door. Sheilee and I stared after him long after the door closed behind him. I saw Sheilee then look at me from the corner of my eye.

"Does Slade seem...different...to you?"

I stared at the door a little while longer before turning back to my work.

"He's still the same Slade, inside and out. No one like that can change his mind on world domination and keeping us all trapped here."

"I suppose."

I went back to my work.

Slade doesn't give a damn about us. He'll always be a selfish Bastard. He can't, and never will, change.

"Do you hate Courtney with a passion?"

My fingers started to ache at the sound of her name. I felt so angry that I almost broke my pen. I slammed it on my desk.

"Get out of here," I said sternly.

I didn't want to lash out at Sheilee since she did nothing wrong, but I would only do it if she didn't get out quickly.

"What? Why?"

I grabbed my head with my hands as anger clouded my mind.

"Get the fuck out of here now!"

I heard Sheilee jump hastily from my bed.

"Sorry!"

I heard her run out the door. It closed shut behind her. I clenched my head harder.

"Stop...it. I am not like this. I don't do this!" The pain was unbearable. Suddenly, my left shoulder pulsated painfully. I got up, knocking my chair clear across my room in the process, stepped back, and fell to my knees. "ARRRRRRRRRRGH!"

I grabbed my pained shoulder with my clawed hand and...

SQUELCH! SPLATTER!

I was on my hands and knees, staring at the floor, breathing heavily. Blood spilled down my arm and onto the floor. My arms were shaking. Tears formed in my eyes and dripped to the floor heavily. I clenched my eyes shut tightly, head lowered. I had really started to hate all of this, all this pain.

My breathing returned to normal. I opened my tear-filled eyes and slowly stood up. I walked into my bathroom and washed the blood away, not daring to look at my arm. I dried it off and went to the cupboard, opening it. I grabbed the bandages that I had snuck in here and wrapped my arm to stop the blood flow. I put everything back the way it was and walked out of the bathroom. I went to my bed and laid down in it.

I heard the door slide open. I didn't look over to see who it was. There was some silence.

"I'll clean this up for you, young sir."

"Arigato, Wintergreen."

After about ten minutes, Wintergreen left. I closed my eyes. Sleep overtook me and I went to sleep.

2 Days Later...

"Good thing I was close by or you would be dead of blood loss by now."

I rested my chin on my fists, my elbows on the table in front of me. My right hand was stained with blood. Recent events played in my head.

My fingers started to ache along with my scarred back. Then the claws appeared. Without realizing, I reached back and dug my claws into my back. I screamed while I yanked upwards and a door slid open quickly behind me.

"Pay attention!"

"I'm paying full attention," I lied. "Can I go now?"

Slade had long since finished bandaging my back. I sat up in my chair. Slade grabbed my bandaged shoulder from 2 days ago.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong with this arm," he replied. I sighed. "Answer me first and then you can go."

I looked over at him. I looked away.

"Its none of your business."

Slade released my arm.

"Then I'll ask Wintergreen."

Slade left. Suddenly my heart ached. I held a hand to it.

Now what?

About 15 minutes later, the door slid open. My heart started pounding in my chest.

"Oh God no," I said. "He can't be-"

Tears streamed down my face.

"Afraid so." I hit my fist on the table. "Stop that."

I stood up abruptly and turned, knocking the chair over.

"And why should I?!"

Slade looked up.

"Because doing that won't bring him back."

"Do you think I don't know that!" I shouted. "I'll do whatever I want! Its my body, not yours! You obviously don't know shit!" I expected Slade to lash out at me, but he didn't. I felt fangs starting to grow in my mouth. I clenched my mouth shut, hoping the fangs would go away. They eventually did. I growled in anger. I fell to my knees. "Why...don't you...hit...me?"

There was a pause.

"Because I want you to calm down." I stared at the floor, trying to catch my breath. "I have to go bury Wintergreen."

I stared blankly at the floor, tears staining it. Slade was gone. I willed myself to stand. I numbly walked to the door. I walked out and went to my room. I hardly noticed Phoenix walking towards me. She was looking at the floor, obviously crying. Time seemed to stop as we walked right by each other. Then it moved again.

I finally made it to my room. The door slid open. I walked inside and went to my bed. I sighed quietly. One, last, final tear fell down my face. I got into bed and went to sleep.

Next Day...

All we are is dust in the wind. We are born one day and then, the next, we die, not knowing if others even care that we are. That's what I think Wintergreen would believe.

Dark ominous clouds formed overhead, the signs of a storm approaching. But still I sat. So much I wanted to touch his tombstone, tracing his name with my delicate fingers. But my mind wanted me to just watch.

Thunder rolled ahead, coming steadily closer. I sighed heavily.

"I hope your death was painless, old friend," I said to the stone. I stood up, looking down at it. "You may not have said it, but I can tell you really understood me the most. The first time we really talked was a given. You didn't agree with Slade on many things, and I knew that was one of them. You didn't like the fact that he kidnapped Robin and me, pitting us against our friends. And yet, you still stuck with him until now. I guess you promised to stick with him.

"Which is what I need to do now. I have two things that I need to promise to you.

"I promise, from this time forth, I will no longer shed a single tear until the day I die. No matter the injury, pain, or sadness, I will not cry until the day I die. I also promise that I won't tell Slade that I love Phoenix until that very same day. These two things I promise you."

It started to sprinkle. The rain hit my face, washing away dry tears from hours before. Soon it turned into a drizzle. I suddenly sensed someone approaching me from behind. I knew who it was, so I didn't look back.

"You've been out here for a good 4 hours. You need to come inside." I ignored him. I continued to stare at Wintergreen's grave. "I don't like to be ignored, boy."

"I guess you're shit out of luck then."

Slight anger radiated off of Slade and into the stale air.

"Why are you even still out here?"

I paused.

"Saying goodbye and promising him a few things," I finally replied. "He may not have said, but he understood me. He was the only one who did."

There was a long pause.

"What did you promise him?"

I grabbed the tags around my neck, clenching them tightly.

"When you asked me if I loved Phoenix, I promised him that I wouldn't tell you until the day I died. Until that same day, I won't shed a single tear. From now on, I will not cry from pain or any of the like. I'm not just doing this for him, but for you too. Its about time I started...growing up." Thunder rolled and lightning struck. "Its now spring, almost summer. But I know I won't live to see my 19th Birthday. I'll never break my promise to him. Because he was the only one who understood me."

The wind blew, dust rolling in front of Wintergreen's grave. Rain hit my face. I closed my eyes, letting it wash away all my pain and sins. It washed away all my sorrows and hate. Leaving no trace of past events on my conscious.

Or so I thought.

"No matter what, you won't cry?" Slade asked.

I shook my head.

"Nothing will."

More anger radiated off of Slade. I wasn't sure why I didn't stop myself now before he really blew his top. My body was screaming at me to shut the fuck up.

"Not even if I or someone else tortures you again?"

I knew I was going too far, but I didn't stop myself from answering, "I honestly don't think Wintergreen would want you torturing me again, Slade."

That was Slade's last straw.

I heard him take something out of his utility belt. I didn't try stopping him as he plunged a kunai in the back of my shoulder. I didn't even cry out, let alone shed a tear. Anger turned to surprise. I could feel blood trickle down my bare back. I sighed.

"We need help with our anger, don't we, Slade?" I reached back and grabbed the end of the kunai. I yanked it out. I threw it to the ground, right on Wintergreen's grave. Due to the rain, the hard ground was softer, almost turned to muck, so the kunai easily went into the ground. "I promise on my own blood that I will not cry or tell you the answer to your question. Not until the day I die."

There was another long pause.

"I have to leave for a few days. Something has...come up. I had to cancel Sheilee's surgery because of this. Make sure you tell her." I only nodded. "Goodbye."

Slade left.

"Bye," I whispered.

Thunder rolled and Lightning struck.

And another bites the dust.