A/N: I dunno if I should feel bad about this but I crammed most of the war into one chapter. I don't feel like writing a lot of fighting and this story's focus surely doesn't lay with that. So we are going through this as efficiently as possible to return to fluff, sexiness and-... Well, no spoiling now.
By the way, if you catch the few references I hid in here you will get to hit me with the next Naruto story to write. Just... no harem, okay?
So I might update again tomorrow (or the day after that, depends on where you live) but I find myself to be terribly busy these days so no promises.
:3
They were just short of the Land of Winds when they encountered their first enemies. Divided in groups of five, Tayuya was stuck on the same group as Kakashi and Gai, which grated her nerves to no end. With them was an ANBU, Yugao, and Sai, who had confessed to be there solely because he had been charged with keeping her alive, a remnant order from Danzo or some shit, but she couldn't care less about that anyways.
Tayuya had barely gotten a foot down on the next tree branch when her instincts screamed at her to move away. She threw herself against the tree trunk, the branch she had been standing on was immediately served just where she had been on it. She glared ahead where a cloaked man with mask stood in a tree, a giant fan in one hand and a chain dangling down the other to connect with the handle of his weapon. Through the two eye holes in the mask on Sharingan and one Rinnegan eye peered coldly at her.
"Where the fuck did you get that eye?" Tayuya snarled. She could feel the same chakra off that fucker. That was Madara.
"Does it unsettle you?" he asked, not even reacting as the rest of the Konoha ninja surrounded him in the trees. "You will learn to fear it."
Tayuya scowled at him. She didn't understand. Why only one Rinnegan? Wouldn't it be far more effective to have both? It outclassed the Sharingan, right? A sharp whistle from her flute launched a chain at the masked man, but it passed though him. Well, that would explain why he had kept the Sharingan.
She glanced at Kakashi and nodded impeccably at him. As one, they launched themselves at Madara. But, just like the chain, they merely phased though him. Tayuya immediately attacked again with a snarl on her lips but Kakashi stood still, both eyes wide. The Uzumaki paid him no mind, sharp and brutal she let her chains rain down on Madara, keeping them lodged in the ground. The masked man was completely surrounded and punctured by over a few dozen chains, all of them keeping Tayuya suspended above him in the air. She observed him closely but there didn't seem to be any damage.
Kakashi suddenly turned and shouted, "Kamui!" at the top of his lungs. At first nothing seemed to happen but Madara suddenly grunted and jumped out of the chains that surrounded him onto another tree. His left arm was bleeding heavily.
"What the fuck?" Tayuya huffed. "How'd you hit him?" She landed besides Kakashi who stared wide eyed at their opponent. As the rest of their group engaged him, Tayuya took the time to take in nature chakra. Her sensory range expanded and the many presences that reminded her of the white Zetsu thing were just about everywhere.
Kakashi growled. "Either Madara has the other Sharingan that once belonged to an old friend or... that is Obito."
"Aha," Tayuya let out, observing the fight as the others engaged. "Then... I can tell you that the Sharingan eye is not implanted in his skull. I can sense that yours is implanted, the chakra in it is a bit off, but his eye is perfectly natural in his head."
"But that... can't be," Kakashi breathed, "He... Obito, was buried alive!"
"He doesn't feel dead to me, though a lot of his body gives me a really creepy vibe," Tayuya told him before bringing her flute to her lips. "Fucking creep!" She charged, but Kakashi didn't move, instead staring numbly at the man that could be his oldest friend.
"Obito...," he muttered to himself. How was this possible? He could feel that the other Sharingan was connected to his own, to the same dimension he could access. That was how he wounded him. He simply pushed the part that the masked man was hiding in the Kamui dimension outside, straight into Tayuya's chains. That basically confirmed it. And the fact that Tayuya perceived the eye as natural in the body only served as further evidence to the same thing.
That man, Madara, was Obito Uchiha, his former comrade, a man that should be, for all intents and purposes, dead. Where had he been all these years? For over a decade, two decades even, Kakashi had grieved his loss, had grieved Rin's loss.
"I have no time for this!" the masked man announced suddenly, "We will meet on the battlefield! Until then... have fun with these!" At his command and just as he vanished, all the presences Tayuya could feel burst out into the open. Five dozen Zetsu began attacking them and Kakashi was forced to contemplate this another time.
The white Zetsu where everywhere. They seemed to spawn indefinitely in the forest of the Land of Fire that ran along the border to the Land of Wind. The masked man, Obito, had used the artificially created forest of the First Hokage to spawn an abundance of his Zetsu soldiers, using the residual chakra that had been sleeping in the mighty trees. It was efficient this way and kept chakra costs low for the man. Far from his current position in one of Orochimaru's secret bases, Kabuto was waiting for Obito's signal. Once enough Zetsu had been spawned, Orochimaru's former apprentice would invoke the Edo Tensei and raise an unstoppable army from the dead. That should be enough to draw out both the Eight-Tails and the Nine-Tails. Naruto was notorious for placing his comrades before himself and would readily come to their aid. As for Killer B, there was no way that the man with the mightiest brother complex since Itachi Uchiha would not come to his older brother's aid.
In the rocky deserts of the Land of Wind was were he would break them. He would use the Edo Tensei to revive Madara himself and then, with the Rinnegan's power, would restore him completely. Their morale would shatter like glass, no one was strong enough to take on the monster that was Madara Uchiha. Summoning the statue would have to wait until the two missing jinchuricki arrived but Obito was sure that the wait wouldn't be overly long. This war was as good as over. Everything was going as planned.
His identity to be revealed, however, had not been part of the plan. He would have discretely switched places with Madara so that it appeared that he had been the one reanimated. Not that it mattered. It only meant that Kakashi's will to fight had either been broken or at least lessened considerably.
Once the Ten Tails had been awakened, once the Rinnesharingan was his, there would be no more war. No more pain. It would be the world that Rin would have been able to live in, the world that he made for her.
It would be peace. Forevermore.
Naruto couldn't explain what was going on. On first glance it may have been obvious that he was battling the Kyuubi, but... it didn't feel like he was. Blow for blow he matched the fox, every blow that landed hurt just like it would outside of the seal and yet... it didn't feel right. With every ball of condensed chakra that Naruto deflected ot blocked with a mass of clones or raw chakra carried with it so much pain, so much hate and sorrow. These feelings weren't his own, he concluded. It was the pain that Kurama carried with him for all of his immortal existence. The feelings kept mounting, so much loss and suffering, destruction and blind hate kept hitting him with crushing force, Naruto could barely focus on his own fight.
Kurama was an immortal construct of chakra. He had been around ever since the sage created him from the Ten Tails. That was so many centuries ago, Naruto could scarcely imagine just how much the fox had seen. There was so much hate for him, for humans in general. There was hate, but did that mean that the beast was capable of love? It would explain why he had helped him with Tayuya. Maybe he understood what it meant to love, maybe he had loved once and had lost it all.
Naruto took the next blow head on but didn't feel anything from it. He blinked a few times but all he saw was white. "What the hell?" he exclaimed, "What-?"
You surprise me again, Naruto, the fox's voice thundered, though much tamer and almost human. I did not think you'd take the time to focus on anything besides defeating me.
"What... was that?" Naruto asked into the great nothing.
Two crimson eyes opened in the distance, seemingly afloat in the empty space. We were battling in your mind, oh container of mine. I have had access to your sense and memories for a long time but that doesn't mean that it works only one way.
"These... were your feelings, right?"
It was all of me, Kurama confirmed, I have not expected you to realize that.
Naruto nodded, though wasn't sure if he should be insulted by that. "So... we stop fighting?"
The fox laughed. No, I will still crush you. It merely means that you and I just might end up understanding each other.
"Is that such a bad thing?" Naruto asked. "Why can't we be friends?"
Friends!? Kurama laughed, Mankind and me have never been friends. I have been hunted and imprisoned all my life, for as long as I care to remember. What makes you think you could just undo it?
"I am not Mankind," was the answer, "What makes you think I can't?"
The crimson eyes blinked once before narrowing. You would not be the first to try and fool me, boy. I am power, a power that you seek. Do not act as if you would free me from the good of your heart.
Naruto placed a hand over his heart. "Maybe. I do need your power. Desperation is something terrible. But I don't think I'd betray you."
You aren't smart enough to even think of the word betrayal, Kurama scoffed, his voice a harsh whisper.
"Well, you aren't exactly smart either, getting sealed all over, aren't you?" Naruto shot back heatedly.
You dare insult me!? the Kyuubi roared back furiously, his eyes glowing ominously.
"I dare tell you what I think, you butt hurt, overgrown plushy!" Naruto snarled. "And I think that all this fighting isn't fucking necessary!"
A low growl echoed off walls Naruto couldn't see. You don't know what you're talking about. I fight you for my power, I fight for my freedom. I murdered your parents in the blink of an eye for my freedom, boy. What makes you think fighting isn't necessary? You can't talk your way out of everything. Not everyone will listen!
"Then why don't you fucking start with the listening!?" Naruto roared at him, Tayuya's vulgar influence striking true. "You whine all day about being sealed and imprisoned and shit but did it ever even occur to you to fucking talk to me!? That maybe I'd listen!?" He took a deep breath, an action that felt really strange in his own mind. "You've been stuck inside of me for almost eighteen gods damned years and do you know what ninety percent of the things you told me where?" He didn't wait for an answer. "You told me you'd gut me or some shit for keeping you sealed. Well shit, sure I'd let you do that!" he spat sarcastically. "You are an immortal mass of chakra, so I'd get that you have no brain and all that."
Kurama growled menacingly at him. Insults, is that it? Weren't we going to fight?
"No!" Naruto hollered. "That is exactly what I am talking about! You are all about your stupid freedom but all you do for it is scream and claw! If you want to fight, fine! I'll put your furry ass in the ground!" Naruto grit his teeth and forced his temper down. "You don't get it! You've been inside of me for as long as I draw breath! How does it not occur to you, the one who should know me better than myself, that you could simply fucking ask to get out!?"
There was no response from Kurama, just his crimson eyes staring unblinkingly at him. Naruto glared right back. How could that overgrown fuzzball be so stubborn? He had forgiven just about everyone he had once fought. Nagato and Tayuya were just the most recent ones. The amount of sorrow and pain that were bottled up in the fix were surely a reason but he had proven to be intelligent enough to try and manipulate him when he had been younger. Why could the stupid fox not accept that he'd work with him?
Naruto didn't want to claim this power, even though he so desperately needed it. He didn't want to enslave Kurama. The fox was alive, breathing or not, and life was something Naruto treasured. Be it his own or the ones of his loved ones, of his precious people.
The fox snorted loudly, startling him. Precious people, huh? he scoffed. You gain them easily, don't you?
"Easier than you, that's for sure," Naruto huffed.
Don't act like that is something to be proud of.
Naruto rolled his eyes. "So... what is it then?" he asked. "Will you keep up this nonsense and fight? Or will you work with me?"
The eyes in the distance blinked shut, effectively disappearing, before the fox fully materialized before him. You would work with me? he asked.
Naruto sighed. "Are you seriously going to doubt that? Isn't there enough evidence going around in my head that I'd be willing to forgive and forget as long as you help me protect my precious people?"
Kurama remained silent, eyes intently focused on Naruto. He supposed that the fox was indeed going though aforementioned memories. Idly Naruto wondered how much time had passed outside by now. He really wanted to get back out there...
Fine, the fox rumbled, I will work with you.
Naruto sighed in relief. "Thank kami-"
But-
"Why are there always conditions!"? Naruto whined, falling to his knees. What was it this time? Sacrificing a hundred souls? A real snake like vibe he got there...
But you won't have my power, Kurama finished.
Naruto gaped at him. "I.. what?" he asked dumbly, "What should I work with then!? I need to get rid of Madara!"
I will not have my power wielded like some common weapon, Kurama growled. If you want my chakra to burn away the Ten Tails, unleash me onto the battlefield!
"Then what?!" Naruto shouted up to him, "What do I have from working with you, then!?"
I will teach you, Kurama spoke, I will teach you what my father used to teach. The old ways, the powerful ways. I will teach you ninshu.
Naruto stared at him for a second before tilting his head to the side in confusion. "What...?"
The hell was ninshu?
Sasuke entered the hideout without meeting any resistance. It should have concerned him that Orochimaru's main base was completely unguarded, but it worked in his favor. The long, seemingly endless corridors passed by in a blur as he hurriedly raced to find the Snake Sannin. As much as a monster the man may have been, Sasuke could still use him.
To end this war, more than just Naruto was needed. Sasuke had passed by a skirmish and almost couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Haku and Zabuza fight the allied shinobi forces. He had almost stopped, but only almost for Kakashi had been there. Sasuke didn't feel like he could face the man. Not until he had done his first steps towards redemption.
The door to Orochimaru's chambers weren't even locked and Sasuke entered without preamble. The stench of rotting flesh bit like acid in his nose but he kept his features expressionless. Apparently, Kabuto had abandoned Orochimaru entirely and left him to rot. Literally. If not for the gleaming yellow eyes that stared at him from underneath the heap of human flesh, Sasuke would have thought the snake dead.
"Orochimaru," he said by way of greeting and strode further into the room. "What a sight for sore eyes." His words were dripping sarcasm but his voice was not. It was hollow, just like he felt.
The lump of flesh that was Orochimaru didn't even stir. His yellow eyes followed Sasuke's ever move.
"It seems we have reached an impasse," Sasuke said, casually filling though scrolls that laid strewn out all over a desk beside Orochimaru's bed. "I need your help and you... well, you could use a lot more than that." He flung a scroll he had been holding back onto the table. "I've been to a few of your hideouts," he said, meeting Orochimaru's unwavering gaze. "I've found your... backup plan."
Sasuke retrieved a purple scroll from a seal on his wrist. Orochimaru's eyes widened just a fraction but Sasuke could see it perfectly well. "I am willing to bring you back, if you do something for me. Do we have an understanding?" The Uchiha didn't care for what the man thought about this. If push came to shove, he would force him with Tsukuyomi. Sasuke opened the scroll and took the seal tag from within. "Good."
He held his breath and placed the seal on his curse mark. In the same moment, the light faded from Orochimaru's eyes.
Minato blinked once, then twice and for good measure a third time. This... was not the belly of the Shinigami. Because not even the bowels of the death good looked like a dank cave. And, most certainly, there weren't any Uchiha. Well, none that he had the pleasure of meeting. This young man in front of him, however, looked like your stereotypical Uchiha, aside from the weird hairdo.
A strange feeling was festering his his body, a body that felt... brittle. As if it hadn't been moved in forever. His awareness returned to him and he felt the other people in the room. Glancing around himself, he found that a lot of dead people were there. At least, they should be.
Well, so should he be, for that matter.
"You returned us with my own technique?"
Minato turned to the white haired man and... well, that was the second Hokage. And the First. And...
"Hiruzen?" he asked the man to his left, who was inspecting his hands. Damn, his throat felt strange. "What is...?"
"I have returned you," the Uchiha said, "to fight in a war."
"A war?" a loud, boisterous voice asked. "Again? You have to be kidding." He laughed loudly and shook his head. "I remember putting a lot of effort into preventing wars, you know, boy?"
Minato recognized him as the first Hokage. Well, wasn't that a nice meeting.
"You failed," the Uchiha said flatly. "And no other than Madara is behind this one."
"Uff," Minato sighed loudly. "So... we doin' this or what?" Here was the perfect chance to see his son again. "I'd like to enjoy this chance on freedom."
The Uchiha smirked, though there was a sadness his his eyes that took Minato aback. "Oh, you won't be having any fun at all, that I promise you."
There were too many of them. Tayuya didn't know where she was going anymore, the sheer amount of zetsu clones made it impossible to extend her senses past them to find Kakashi and the rest of the group she had been split from. As far as she could tell, she was definitely nearing the Land of Wind, given that the vegetation was decreasing steadily. But neither the fact that she was lost nor the masses of white fucker clones were as bad as the fact that some sick fuck seemed to have revived a whole lot of the scariest ninja to ever walk this earth.
Which was why she found herself face to face with no less than Itachi Uchiha and whom she assumed to be Nagato Uzumaki, the guy wit the Rinnegan. Her luck was nothing short of terrible. She eyed them wearily as they stepped out of the coffins. Could she even fight them? She had no desire to die, that much was clear. Maybe she could just-
"Interesting," the revived Itachi spoke, taking in his surroundings. "It seems that this war hasn't been stopped after all."
The red haired man shook his head. "A pity." His unsettling eyes found her. "Another Uzumaki? How inconvenient, given the circumstances of our meeting."
Tayuya huffed, "You don't say, god complex. You couldn't just... not attack me, right?"
Itachi shook his head. "I'm afraid not. Our bodies are not truly ours to control."
"Ugh," she sighed. Great. Just great. Where was Kakashi when you really needed him?! "Any advise?" she asked hopefully.
Itachi and Nagato exchanged a look. "If you are as strong as the other Uzumaki," the Uchiha said, "You could aid me in regaining control."
"You mean lover boy?" Tayuya asked, scratching her chin, "Well, I'm not as strong as him but I guess I get as close as normal humans can get."
Nagato smiled before grimacing as he was apparently forced to step out of the coffin as it sunk back into the ground. "So you have met him then."
"I fucked him," Tayuya huffed, "But I doubt that his dick will get me out of this one."
Itachi stared at her in thinly veiled confusion. "I... suppose not," he said eventually before frowning. "Ready yourselves, Uzumaki."
"You gonna tell me how to get you to stop trying to murder your ass yet?" Tayuya asked, backing up slowly with her flute drawn.
"For now, focus on surviving," Itachi advised before suddenly charging at her.
Tayuya really hated this war.
"I swear to kami, that bastard just had to revive all of the awful ones!" Tsunade growled out as she drove her heel into yet another reincarnation.
She looked around the wide open desert wildly. Their enemies numbers were dwindling, which told her that this reanimation jutsu didn't work as well as it should, given that the numbers had begun to drop. Unfortunately for them those that were still there and kicking were dropping the allied forces like flies since the former Kage had been summoned. After she and A had arrived on the battlefield to witness the Third Raikage and the Second Tsuchikage decimate their forces, Tsunade and A both knew that maybe sending their two strongest warriors away had been a mistake.
The Third Raikage was a monster, nothing short of it. She had, in fact, just punched him with almost full power and only succeeded in blowing him away. He didn't even seem to have a scratch on him and her hand stung in return. Stupid Lightning armor. What was almost worse was the reanimated Tsuachikage, Mu. He was firing high powered ninjutsu from all the nature types at them from various positions with his ability to fly and be as good as undetectable. She glanced up when she saw Onoki engage with him. Dust release was a true menace as well, it held incredible power and the very air vibrated as they clashed. Out of all the Kage, Tsunade somehow felt herself as the weakest in sheer combat ability.
Not that that bothered her. She was a medic after all and was simultaneously using Katsuyu to heal everyone on the battlefield. She was to no end grateful for her huge chakra reserves...
That was until their masked adversary arrived.
Obito observed the allied forces struggle against his army of reincarnations. Everything was going according to plan, yet the jinchuriki had't shown up. He knew that they would try to hide them away but didn't want to think that they had actually imprisoned them. That would be a major nuisance. He glanced at the second Tsuchikage as he floated above the battlefield. It should be about time to summon Madara.
The allied shinobi didn't appear to be able to deal with the reanimated Raikage, the Strongest spear and the Strongest Shield proved to be too powerful for them to defeat.
That, however, changed rapidly once Kakashi and Gai arrived.
"My eternal rival!" Gai boomed over the desert plane. "I have found us a worthy opponent!" he exclaimed and pointed at the reanimated Raikage.
Kakashi let his neck crack loudly. "Mh, you said something?" he drawled, though his eye was focused on their opponent.
"Curse you and your cool and hip attitude, Kakashi!" Gai whined.
Though they hadn't made any indication of stopping their bickering, they both suddenly vanished. With a loud crack, they both solidly connected a heel with the forearms of the Raikage. His lightning Armor crackled loudly against the attack but didn't budge.
Both back flipped away from him. Kakashi let his neck crack one more. "Hm, I expected a bit more."
"Indeed!" Gai shouted, "That was not as youthful as I had expected! Let us try again!"
They vanished again and rained blow upon blow on their enemy who, while obviously unable to attack, also didn't seem to take any damage at all. Suddenly Kakashi appeared a fair distance away and started a sequence of handselas. As soon as he stopped on the last one, he inhaled deeply.
"Fire Release: Flame Dragon Bullet!"
The gargantuan head of a dragon made of white hot flame turned the sand in it's path into glass as it roared in it's onslaught at the Raikage. Gai used his opponent as a stepping stone to launch himself high in the air just before the jutsu could hit. The explosion was massive, the heat wave kept Gai aloft for longer than usual and the Taijutsu master pulled his fist back in preparation.
Chakra began to visibly gather in his fist before he suddenly dived down into the still raging fire of Kakashi's jutsu.
"Morning Star!" he roared before the very earth shook under the impact.
The pressure alone killed off the flames in an instant and drove the Raikage sever dozen feet into the ground, leaving a smoking crater. Gai appeared again on Kakashi's side.
"Not youthful at all!" Gai stated indignantly.
"He is a bit passive, isn't he," Kakashi drawled, twirling a kunai at the ring on it's handle on his hand.
No sooner had he finished the sentence, Kakashi suddenly bent backwards at an almost painful angle. The reanimated Raikage shot over him like a missile, one hand extended flat and straight ahead, and for a moment they were face to face before he zoomed on, cutting deep into the ninja that had still been surrounding him. Overbalanced as he was, Kakashi had to do a back flip to keep himself from falling.
"I think I lost a few hair," he said, patting his head.
"Now THAT was youthful!" Gai cheered though only after he could tell that no one had been seriously injured in the attack.
Just then, Gai jumped and the Raikage shot through right underneath him. But this time, Gai had been prepared. He stomped down hard onto the mans back, redirecting his charge into the ground. A deep gouge followed his path, several dozen feet long, were the man emerged without a scratch and prepared again, four fingers of his hand extended this time.
"That is, and I quote, Troublesome," Kakashi admitted, raising his right hand. Lightning crackled in his palm before he shot off to meet his adversary.
Killer B had been minding his own business, for the most part, as he watched over Naruto as the boy battled his tailed beast. Half of him was encased in the Kyuubi's chakra, the other half in what B assumed to be either sage chakra or Naruto's own far more powerful chakra. Either way, the other half of him was glowing slightly with a whitish hue, the markings around his eyes had shifted from orange to blood red. Killer B couldn't tell if this was good or bad, but Naruto was apparently fine, so he didn't think about it too much.
He frowned, however, when Naruto suddenly choked audibly. The boy coughed and gagged before opening his mouth as wide as possible as if he were about to puke. Not wanting to get hit, B jumped back. Much to his surprise, a crow wound it's way out of Naruto's mouth. Even as it happened, Naruto remained in trance.
"Oh, what the fuck!?" he exclaimed and went to grab the feathered beast, but it eluded the attempt and instead flew straight at the next wall. Instead of hitting it, however, it passed right though.
There was no way that could be good! He worried his lips, frowning at the wall the crow had disappeared through. "Shit," he cursed before he opened the sealed chamber.
Yamato jumped back from the door in surprise. "What's going on?" he asked, "Is Naruto okay?"
"Go watch over him," B instructed roughly. "I need to go!"
Before Yamato could so much as protest, B had already dashed of in pursuit of the crow.
Tayuya cursed as she was pulled towards Nagato and the weird ass rhinoceros he had summoned. She slammed three chains into the ground and held herself there while two more struck the few Kunai that Itachi was throwing her way out of the air. Fighting two opponents that were significantly more powerful than herself was tiring, even if they seemed to hold back.
Almost as tiring as shagging Naruto.
"What the hell are we even waiting for!?" she hollered at the Uchiha. "Didn't you say there was a way to get you out of this!?"
"Be patient," he returned, "It was not how I had imagined using this, so it will take some time."
"What is going to take it's time, you bastard!?" Tayuya shouted, diving out of the way of Nagato's black spikes. She rolled into a crouch and blew a ball of fire at the Uzumaki, but it was immediately absorbed. Ugh, she was not made to fight them!
"A war is something I don't need fucking with my life again," she said, shaking her head.
"Life is war," Sakura said distantly. Looking up, she said," It's true isn't it? Both lead to death."
There was something deeply unsettling to her words, something that chilled Tayuya to the bone. The night was too dark, the air too still. Something was wrong. Very wrong. She held her stomach protectively.
"We survived," she said, more to herself than to anyone else. "Right?"
Tayuya didn't like this war at all. Not that she would have liked any other war for that matter, but she was pretty sure that nothing could top this bullshit. First, there were the reincarnations. A lot of them, if not all of them. Tayuya had been unlucky enough to run into no other than Itachi mofo Uchiha and Nagato Uzumaki. While it had been nice (sort of) to meet a distant cousin, it sucked ass that aside from his mouth, he couldn't control himself.
Kinda like Naruto when he saw her naked.
Heh.
How she could be horny in the middle of a bloody war was beyond her.
Tayuya had no idea how she survived that for as long as she did until that weird ass crow showed up and did some wonky shit to Itachi, but she was kinda proud of herself for not ending up as a stain on the forest ground. The crow did it's weird shit, hypnotized Itachi and than it was more or less over. With Itachi it was far easier fighting Nagato like that but it still seemed nowhere near enough to defeat him when suddenly the Octopus asshole showed up that was supposed to be with Naruto! But because woe betide the rapping fools, Octo-Fool thought it was a good idea to throw his damn tentacle arm at Nagato, who promptly absorbed that stuff. Tayuya didn't know why but it felt like some bad omen. Could the chakra be sent to Madara? Did Octo-asshole just fuck them all?
For his balls, she hoped not.
The main battlefield was easy to find, considering that a fucking meteor dropped right on top of it. Not to mention the second one. But when Tayuya arrived, shit was already going south. Madara was a freaking monster. He held so much gods damned chakra, it overpowered Tayuya's senses. It was the same with Naruto, though it was more like being wrapped in a thick blanket with him, unlike this drowning-in-an-ocean-shit she got from Madara.
But because Madara and Obito alone weren't already weird enough, there were the other Hokage. With all the reincarnations that were hellbent on gutting her, Tayuya didn't really get too close to them but she was pretty sure that this one guy looked a lot like Naruto, just older. Was that the Fourth? Not like she could see him properly, the weirdo was flashing all across the battlefield.
She stumbled over Tsunade, who looked like someone had cut her in half before she somehow stitched herself back together. Just above her navel, a sealing tag was smoldering, Karin put a lot of work into these. Her hand touched the tag that was hidden underneath her shirt, on her shoulder. That thing would keep her going for a while.
"Oi, Granny!" she called out, "Get your ass up, this mess ain't over yet!"
Tsunade growled as she climbed to her feet again. "You start calling me that and I'll punch you and your dumb ass husband!" she huffed. She looked around wildly to assess the situation. Her eyes widened when she saw the other Kage. "What the fuck?"
"Yeah," Tayuya agreed. "This shit is getting crazy."
Suddenly the air was filled with the infernal screeching of metal grinding against metal and Tayuya barely ducked under a three pronged kunai that had been deflected into her direction. With a snarl on her lips, she rounded on the blonde Hokage, who appeared a few feet away from them.
"Watch it, asshole!" she growled, a singular chain rattling menacingly in the air behind her.
He turned around, confusion evident on his face, before his eyes widened and he gaped at her. "K-Kushina!?" he yelped and almost failed to jump out of Obito's way as the Uchiha asshole slammed his pansy ass fan into the ground, kicking up a lot of dirt.
Kushina? Wasn't that... lover boy's mother? She couldn't look all that much like her, could she? Cause that would have been pretty fucking strange.
"No, I'm not, dick head. And how'd you know her?" she hissed at the man when he landed unsteadily besides her and Tsunade.
"Minato!" Tsunade exclaimed, "Who the hell reanimated you and the other Kage!"
Tayuya glowered at her. Damn bimbo could have let the asshole answer the question.
"That would be me."
Tayuya rolled her eyes. Oh hell no. Was that who she thought it was?
True to her suspicion, yet another god damn Uchiha appeared on the battlefield. Sasuke Emo-is-love-Emo-is-live Uchiha. Behind him, Tayuya caught a glimpse of Gai and B viciously kicking Obito across the crater the meteor had left.
"You!?" she spat in disbelieve. "Your emo ass couldn't use that technique if it was required for being a bitch ass brooder."
Sasuke's permanent frown soured and he glared at her. "Who are you again?"
Tayuya grit her teeth. "I am-!"
That was as far as she got. Obito appeared right in the middle of them all. Minato, who had still been frowning at her with a thoughtful expression, was caught of guard and couldn't dodge the chakra receiver that was plunged into his stomach. Tayuya, Tsunade and even Sasuke, all three of them reached out to attack Obito but a sudden surge of chakra blew them backwards.
The mark on Tayuya's neck suddenly flared as she could feel the Kyuubi's chakra in front of her. But Naruto wasn't there! Where did it come from!? She decided that this wasn't the time to even fucking wonder what was going on anymore and instead decided to save the blonde asshole. One of her chains missed Obito by a hair's berth but forced him to move away, the bubbling mass of dark crimson chakra following after him where it was absorbed into his arm.
A vicious grin broke out on his unmasked face and Tayuya feared the worst.
"Summoning!" he roared as he flashed through a couple of handseals, "Demonic Statue of the outer path!"
Yeah, she was going to fry some octo balls once all this was over.
Naruto opened his eyes and felt... not different at all. He frowned, blinking against the strange light in the Temple Room. He opened his mouth to say something, but coughed up a few black feathers instead.
"What the fuck?" he exclaimed, still gagging.
"Are you alright?" Yamato (how in the world did he get in here) asked, the seal in his hand a red burning zero.
Spitting more feathers, Naruto nodded. "Ugh, "I guess?"
How come you don't remember the crow Itachi Uchiha shoved down your throat? Kurama rumbled back. His voice wasn't as loud as usual and it didn't sound like he was growling at him from a great distance away.
Oh, yeah. That was a thing... He really did remember that. Must have slipped his mind. Eating live crows wasn't a hobby he'd ever adopt.
The Ten Tail towered over them all, a grayish monster with ten appendages that ended in human-like hands with this glaring red eye that was supposedly the Rinnesharingan. Tayuya would have cursed, had she not been forced to throw herself out of the way of one of those giant hands that crushed down onto the rocky battlefield.
"Fall Back!" someone shouted over the rumble of earth, but Tayuya remained, glaring death at Obito and Madara, standing atop the creature's head.
"Get down here you cocksuckers!" she roared up at them.
Madara's laugh, who had somehow regained a new body, boomed over the battlefield as more and more the allied shinobi were forced to back away from the flailing monstrosity. "You!" he called out, "You amuse me, little girl! Let's see if you can dance as well!"
Dance? "What the fuck are you-!" But before she could finish the sentence, the ten tails unleashed an unholy shriek, forcing her to cover her ears.
It opened it's giant maw underneath the eye as wide as it could before vomiting a mass of grey that streamed onto the battlefield. From the gooey mass, countless monstrosities emerged in various sizes, some almost as big as the ten tails itself.
With a snarl, Tayuya put her flute to her lips and a haunting melody spread over the battlefield. Chains of chakra erupted from her back, dancing and swaying with her music, slicing and striking with every note that left her lips.
"What a wonderful dance!" Madara crowed in maniacal glee. He surely would have jumped down to meet her in battle if not for the fact that he was attached to the Ten Tails.
"You couldn't waltz for shit!" she roared up at him before charging forwards, determined to get the Uchiha out of her way. The sooner this shit was over the sooner she'd get back to Naruto. Boy... she'd beat the shit out of him for leaving her alone! "Come 'ere you red eyed assholes!"
You better hurry.
"You don't say!" Naruto spat, tearing straight through a tree branch instead of avoiding it. "Why did this shit take so long!"
You suck at studying, Kurama told him. Now hurry, the Ten Tails has already been summoned.
"Stop being a bitch about it and at least boost me a bit!"
There was a moment of silence before his legs suddenly erupted into searing pain. Naruto almost bit his tongue off, but immediately felt the immense power that accompanied the chakra. "That stings!" he hissed, but accelerated anyways, moving too fast to really avoid the trees of the forest.
Unfortunately the Turtle Island had chosen to make things complicated and had delivered them to the other side of the gods damned continent. he had to go through the entirety of the Land of Fire to reach the Land of Wind, where the Ten tails was already about.
Quit whining and move!
"I swear to the shinigami I will put a muzzle on you!"
It wasn't fair. Really, it wasn't. Neither Madara nor Obito even had to step down from their high and oh-so fucking ugly horse with nine tails too many to win this battle. Tayuya didn't even get a chance to attack, being busy defending herself against all those ugly-ass monstrosities and the constant hails of wooden spikes that the ten tails kept raining upon them all.
Sasuke, damn him, was throwing huge snakes at the Ten Tails but they never got close enough, while Sakura, Karin and Sari were more or less permanently engulfed in healing chakra as they did their best to keep everyone alive. Tsunade put all her focus into sustaining Katsuyu's healing ability and was no longer participating in the battle.
The Hokage (the dead ones), fuck them too, were freaking scary but even they didn't get shit done. Aside from a literal forest appearing here and there, with the occasional tsunami and fireballs as big as the Hokage Tower, nothing really advanced. Even with them going around, the Ten Tails was battling them to a standstill.
Of course the octopus had no impact at all and Tayuya felt that she needed to shove every spike of wood the Ten Tails had shot at them up his ass. Gods how she hated that guy right now!
She back flipped eighteen times in a row, of which she was fucking proud, and landed near the only Uchiha she didn't feel like murdering at the moment.
"Oi! Emo ass!" she shouted, raising her chains like a shield wall in front of her, "Help me get your family off that thing!"
He had barely time to scowl at her before the Fourth Hokage appeared in between them with Karin, who blinked confusedly into the round.
"Did I die?" she asked, still blinking rapidly.
"Yo," Tayuya waved at her, "Took the blond dunderhead express, didn't ya?"
The Fourth scowled at her. Sasuke actually fucking laughed and Karin was still not sure how she even got here.
The plan was, actually, quite simple. Simple, not easy. All they had to do was get one of blondie's fancy kunai up to the Ten Tail's head. Oh joy.
"You are not throwing me," Sasuke denied flatly, sneering at her.
"Hm, maybe you're right," Tayuya admitted before smirking curly. "Throwing with shit ain't going to do us any good."
"Just throwing the damn kunai is not an option?" Karin asked, ducking nonchalantly as one of Tayuya's chains stabbed over her and a ten tails spawn to death.
Sighing loudly, Minato drew one of his kunai from kami knows where the revived fool found them all and chucked it almost lazily at the towering monster. A piece of wood slammed into the weapon's path halfway, scattering it into the battlefield.
"So it's not," Karin noted dryly. "How about going underground?"
Tayuya nodded, leisurely leaning her head to the side and out of the way of the kunai Karin threw at the ugly, octopus-like monster that had approached. "Not too bad of an idea. I just don't fancy getting roasted like these Iwa guys that tried to ambush that thing. They were incinerated in their tunnels."
"Then from above," Sasuke said simply. "We just throw you at them from straight above."
"Why would that work, you prick?" Tayuya huffed. "Didn't your fancy eyes catch the wood spear that was shot at the kunai?"
"They did," Sasuke hissed back, scowling something fierce. "But they also saw that that thing's eye followed the kunai's path."
"So it has to see it," the fourth mused, "or feel it underground."
"That's one weak ass way of thinking," Tayuya muttered. "How do you even know it has to see it?"
"Do you want to get this over with or not?" Sasuke snapped. "If not, we'er just going to throw you at it!"
Tayuya was about to tear the emo brat a new one when Karin cleared her throat. "Uhm, guys?" she began, "I think something's wrong..."
Flipping Sasuke the bird, Tayuya turned to look at the Ten Tails and... Uhm... what? "Is it... laying an egg?"
"Uhm...," the Fourth made, squinting at the beast. "I guess?"
"Or maybe it finally decided to spawn more creatures," Tayuya remarked dryly.
"Whatever it is," Karin said, "It certainly forced it to close it's eye."
Tayuya grinned. "Does that mean we can throw the emo at it?"
Spawning the world tree was incredibly taxing. Not exactly on chakra, but more on sheer concentration. If not for Madara's help, Obito may not have been able to form the seed in the first place. And if the tree wasn't the most vital part of the plan, Obito wouldn't even have bothered with it. But fact was, that without the tree and it's fruit the Rinnesharingan wouldn't be complete. They needed to reflect the eye to the moon somehow after all and that was what the blossom was for. It just needed a wee bit of chakra. Thankfully, the shinobi alliance had unknowingly provided the largest supply there was.
Obito had briefly questioned why no one truly wondered how he would even invoke a genjutsu powerful enough to ensnare all of the earth or where he would get that much chakra from. Their ignorance was truly his bliss.
Bliss, however, only lasted so long as suddenly something slammed into his midestion. It was too late to stop the tree from being planted but certainly served to disconnect him from the Ten Tails body.
He was toppled over by the projectile, which bounced off him, rolled a few feet and screeched to a halt right behind Madara. The projectile turned out to be Sasuke Uchiha, who promptly served Madara's link as well with his sword.
"You are too late," Obito drawled. "Our plan is almost complete. There is nothing you can-"
It was then, and far too late, that both Obito and Madara spotted the kunai that was now embedded into the Ten Tails right in front of them.
And with a yellow flash, Obito's world exploded into pain.
"Not bad of a throw, huh?" Tayuya mused, peering into the distance as she tried to observe what was going on atop the Ten Tails head.
Karin huffed, scanning their surroundings. She spotted something in the distance, eyes narrowing. She briefly hugged Tayuya. "Don't do something stupid, okay? Gotta go!"
She sprinted off, probably to someone who needed help. "Yeah yeah," Tayuya called after her, "But you tell me if one of those idiots bites you! I'll bite back for you!"
Tayuya whistled appreciatively when a Rasengan exploded on the Ten Tail's head. "Mine would have been cooler," she scoffed. In her moment of respite, Tayuya wished Naruto would be here already. She decided to take a moment to expand her senses but he was still not within her range an-
Oh shit, there he was! Not even that far away! Just a few minutes and-!
"ROARRGH!
Tayuya was forced to cover her ears as the monstrous roar escaped the Ten Tails. It's already deformed body began to twist, it's head suddenly beginning to shrink- no, it was sucked away into something! Just then the Hokage and Sasuke appeared besides her in a brief flash of light.
"What the fuck did you do?" she spat.
Sasuke merely glared at Fourth. "You should have gone for the head."
Minato scowled. "I tore his heart into pieces."
With a strangely distant and dampened sounding roar, the Ten Tail's entire head was sucked into the vortex that was building above it. "The fuck is that?"
Sasuke roughly pushed Minato away from himself. "He's absorbing it. Merging with it. He will-"
"- Become the Ten Tail's jinchuriki," Minato finished gravely.
Tayuya sighed in exasperation. "Fuck you two. Next time, we're throwing me."
A/N: So... I dunno about you guys, but I'm not particularly happy with this. The very first idea was to skip all this entirely. To just skip straight to the end of it and go on with the epilogue. But I just... couldn't, you know? So I did this, writing a half ass, rushed version of the war. I don't imagine that anyone who came for fluff and romance is particularly pleased with this, but be assured that I'll head-shot you with enough of that stuff soon enough.
Finishing this, I theorize about three or four more chapters. Maybe more but they will come out in quick succession and leave cliff hangers on purpose.
:3