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When her mother goes outside to take her phonecall, Charlotte and Logan look awkwardly at each other. Charlotte twists and untwists her hands in her lap and Logan asks, "Do you want anything? Like water, a soda..."
"Coke would be great. Thanks," Charlotte adds as he brings it over and he says, "No problem. Got anything fun coming up?"
"Yes," Charlotte says, relieved to actually have something to say. "I'm going to a dance at my school."
"With that guy, I take it?"
"Yes," Charlotte says, beaming. She takes a sip of soda and says, "Nana showed us a picture of Mom when she went to a dance at her school. She looked great."
"I bet she did," Logan smiles. He and Charlotte drink silently for a moment and then Logan suddenly gets up, going to his bedroom. Nonplussed, Charlotte waits for a moment before getting up and following. Logan is crouched at his wardrobe, pushing some blankets aside and emerging with a box. Opening it, he gets out some pictures and smiles at Charlotte.
"Check this out."
Taking out a picture, he shows Charlotte a photo of her mother. Rory is dressed in a beautiful ballgown with a dark blue sash, her hair in soft waves around her face. Charlotte stares at her mother and exclaims, "That's Mom?"
"Of course it's your mom," Logan laughs. "Come on, I'll tell you about it."
Going back to the living room, they sit back down and Logan gets out more of the pictures. Along with her mother are photos of some young guys, and then there's a shot of them all standing on top of a scaffold. Her mother is clutching Logan's hand and looking very nervous.
"At Yale, I was part of a secret society," Logan says. "We used to mess around pulling stunts like this and dressing up, a much better use of our time than, say, studying, and your mom found out. I told her she could come along to our event and that she'd have to take part. And she did. She jumped off with me."
"Hey, Mom told me about this," Charlotte remembers. "I didn't know there were pictures."
"Maybe your mom doesn't have any. This was kind of before we uploaded them all."
Charlotte leafs through the rest, wondering silently. Her mom looks so gorgeous, older than in the other picture, but sort of dazzled by everything.
"How come it's in a box?" Charlotte asks curiously and Logan coughs. "It's stuff I don't really have a place for. Odette and I got rid of things we didn't really need, but we don't see eye to eye on old pictures. She never liked my friends. Anyway, I keep random things in there, photos, things like that."
"Do you have any pictures of me?" Charlotte asks and Logan hesitates, trying to smile.
"Not any printed out."
"Oh." Charlotte looks back at the picture of her mother and Logan says, "I don't have a lot of pictures now."
Charlotte fumbles the photos back into their packet, handing them back and then says brightly, "Hey, do you want to see pictures from my dance? I mean, I don't have a dress yet, but when I do and when I go, I could send them. My friend Ivy will take a ton -"
Charlotte's voice trails off at the look on Logan's face and he says gently, "I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why?"
"My wife might see them. I agreed to keep that part of my life apart."
"You mean me." A lump is forming in Charlotte's throat and she has a terrible feeling she's about to cry.
"Charlotte -"
"Forget it. Whatever. It's just a dance."
Neither of them say anything but try not to look at each other. Charlotte is about to ask if she can be excused when the door opens and her mother comes in.
"I want to go," Charlotte says. She manages not to cry but can hear her voice shaking. Her mother asks what's wrong but Charlotte simply insists she just wants to leave, and eventually her mother lets her wait in the hall while going to talk to Logan. When she emerges her eyes are flashing with anger but she pulls Charlotte into a tight hug.
"I'm sorry, angel."
Charlotte feels some tears trickle down her cheeks and wipes them away furiously.
"I'm fine."
Rory gives her a look but Charlotte just says, "I want to go."
"Well," Rory says, taking her hand. "We can do that."
All Charlotte wanted to do was find a dress but none of them look right. Her mother argues at least five are beautiful but they all look wrong. "I don't like the way it feels," Charlotte exclaims, tugging at the fabric, and then suddenly she's crying, right there in the changing rooms. Other shoppers are staring but she can't stop sobbing, and lets the tears just pour down her cheeks.
"Oh, sweetie," Rory says, holding Charlotte tightly. "Let's just go home."
They are back in the car and halfway home when Rory says, "I'm sorry."
Charlotte shrugs, sniffling, and Rory says tightly, "It's all my fault. I shouldn't have - I'm sorry."
"I shouldn't have said about sending pictures."
"Don't you dare blame yourself," Rory says furiously. "It was a beautiful thing to offer."
"It was dumb," Charlotte says and she can feel herself start to cry again. Her mother pulls over and unbuckles her seatbelt so she can lean over, hugging her. Charlotte buries her face in her sweater, feeling like a little kid for a moment, and when she sits up, wiping her eyes, she says, "Would his wife hate me that much?"
"She doesn't hate you. She doesn't know you."
"It doesn't matter anyway," Charlotte says furiously. "I never want to send him pictures again."
She rubs at her face, hiccuping slightly, and her mother kisses her wet cheek. Charlotte leans over, playing some music, and they drive home with the songs from her mother's childhood. It's not Charlotte's usual choice but she doesn't change it. It helps not having to talk. When they get back Charlotte goes straight up to her room without a word, slamming the door. She can hear her father, sounding confused and then angry, and the voices of her parents rising and falling, the words muffled. Charlotte buries her face in her pillow and ignores the knock on her door. There is another knock a moment later and her father says through the door, "Can I come in?"
Charlotte gets up slowly, wiping her eyes, and then opens the door. Her dad is looking concerned and that makes Charlotte cry all over again. His arms are around her in a moment and he whispers into her hair, "Hey, it's alright. It's okay, Charlotte."
Charlotte closes her eyes, breathing in his comforting dad smell, and it soothes her. She looks back up, sniffling, and her dad squeezes her hand. "There's my girl."
"It's stupid," Charlotte says, going and sitting back down on the bed. "It shouldn't be a big deal."
"Why not?"
"Well...he's just Logan. He's not my dad like you are."
Jess smiles when she says that but says, "Still hurts though. I wish I could go and punch him for saying that to you."
"Dad!"
"Relax, I won't. I haven't punched anyone since - jeez, I think when I was a strip joint."
"You were in a strip joint?" Charlotte exclaims, her mouth hanging open. "That's gross! Does Mom know?"
"I was there for a bachelor party, my mother's, as a matter of fact. Yeah, you're thinking about how weird that is, well, if you multiply it by ten, you might know how I felt. I was there with TJ and his friends. They were an interesting bunch. Nothing happened, by the way," Jess adds quickly. "I didn't get, um, a lap dance."
"Dad, don't say lap dance," Charlotte says, screwing her face up and making him laugh. "Why'd you get in a fight?"
"I got in some dumb argument with TJ and then Luke tried stopping me and I swang at him - not my best night. But I was mad about stuff going on with me. And I don't think I've hit anyone since then, and I don't plan on that changing."
"I can't believe you got in a fight with Grandpa." Jess shrugs and Charlotte stretches out on the bed. Her father looks at her and says, "You know, right around that time I'd been living with Jimmy. I wanted to go find my father, see if I could figure some things out."
"Did you?"
Jess is silent for a moment and then says, "Yes, but I mainly saw Luke had been more of my dad. He was my uncle but he was there for me, no matter what. I didn't get that at the time because I was eighteen and screwing things up, but I got it when I left. It wasn't like having a dad when I went to see Jimmy. I had to convince him to let me stay. Luke took me in without a word."
Charlotte looks up at Jess and he puts an arm around her. "Logan doesn't know how lucky he is to have you in his life. I think about how lucky I am every day."
"Thanks, Dad," Charlotte says. She smiles, rubbing away the last of her tears, and Jess says, "So did you find a dress for the dance?"
"No," Charlotte says in a small voice. "They all looked bad."
"Oh, well. No big deal. You'll find something and look great."
"You have to say that," Charlotte says, laughing. "You're my dad."
"That's right, I am," Jess says, tucking some hair behind her ears. "And I know you'll look great for a fact."
Charlotte shrugs, smiling, and Jess says, "Hey, how about I make us some coffee?"
"I'd love that. Thanks, Dad."
He kisses her cheek, getting up, and Charlotte lies back down on the bed. She finds the faded flannel shirt her grandfather gave her and snuggles it tightly, rubbing the soft matieral to her cheek. Charlotte takes another moment of comfort before getting up and following her father downstairs.
The rest of the weekend is quiet. Charlotte has an assignment for school but she can't focus. She feels better after talking to Jess but her mind keeps looping back to Logan, how he has no pictures of her and doesn't want new ones. Why does she care? It's not as if he's her real father. Yet Charlotte can't help thinking about how smart her parents are, how much they write, and she can't put a small essay together. Maybe it's a genetic thing. Maybe she's got this from Logan and shouldn't try at all. Charlotte doesn't know what to think.
On Sunday she and Rory drive to the mall nearby but there are no dresses Charlotte likes there either, and she starts to feel panicky. It's not too long until the dance itself.
"Honey, it's fine," Rory says gently. "If we can't find anything here I'm sure we can order something."
"Maybe," Charlotte says morosely. When they get back Lorelai calls and, after describing the dress issue, she says excitedly, "I have an incredible idea."
"What?"
"I still have the dress I made for Rory. Charlotte, you're around the same size she was, and I'm sure it would fit."
For a moment Charlotte is unsure. Is it weird, to wear her mother's dress? But it did look beautiful in the picture and it's blue, like she wanted.
"I can just bring it over," Lorelai says, sensing her pause. "You can try it on and see. I'm sure I can adjust it if I need to."
"Well...thanks!"
Lorelai drops the dress off the very next afternoon. Charlotte takes it to her bedroom, aware of her mother and grandmother waiting right outside, and carefully slips it on. Slip is the operative word, it bags at her chest, and she says unhappily, "It's too big."
"Let me see," Lorelai says, coming in, Rory right behind her. She steps back, taking a critical look, and then says, "I can totally fix that. I'll just take it in at the chest. It'll fit perfectly when I'm done."
"You're positive?" Charlotte asks and Lorelai laughs. "Never doubt the my domestic art powers."
"She's right," Rory says. "Mom can mend anything."
"It's simple," Lorelai says. "Whip that off and I'll have it back here in plenty of time."
"Thanks," Charlotte says and, when neither of them move, says, "I'm going to, um, whip it off."
"Right," Rory says and she and Lorelai wait outside for her. Charlotte is dubious but gives the dress back. There's no time to buy a dress now so she just hopes her grandmother's talent comes through.
On Friday Charlotte is sorting the books in her bag when Ivy goes over to her, a gleam in her eye. "Your mom's not picking you up until later, right?"
"Yeah," Charlotte says, zipping the bag up. "After study group. How come?"
"We're ditching it. Let's go try out makeup and stuff and then come back here in like an hour."
"Oh..." Charlotte really does need to go to study group, if only for the fact that the teacher told her so just an hour before. The assignment she gave in the other day was returned with more red ink than text.
"Come on," Ivy argues. "It's not like a real class, and the dance is tomorrow! We're just going to look at makeup. Nothing else, I swear."
Charlotte doesn't answer and Ivy sighs. "You can go to study group anytime but the dance is only once. It won't be as fun without you."
"Okay," Charlotte decides. The group is only for going over what they did in class anyway. "Let's do it."
The girls drive to the store a little later, trying out as many free samples as they can. Charlotte buys a small tube of mascara and Ivy some eyeshadow, while the other two girls pool their money for expensive lipgloss. They use the rest for big cups of soda and by then Charlotte is laughing. It's cold, and the chilled drink isn't helping, but she's having so much fun she doesn't care. This is the first time all week she isn't worrying about Logan or the dance or school and is just feeling happy. Charlotte gets a text from Tyler, saying he'll message her when he's ready to pick her up for the dance, and a grin spreads all over her face. "Who's that from?" Ivy nudges her and laughs when Charlotte says, "Tyler."
"Are you doing anything after the dance?" the other girl asks and Charlotte shrugs. "I have to be home by twelve."
"You could do something before then," Ivy teases. "Look at you blushing! Hey, maybe we should hit the pharmacy while we're here."
"Maybe we should head back," Charlotte says, heart beating. She lifts her phone to Ivy's eyes to show her the time and her friend stares. "It's that late? Come on!"
They hasten back, thanking the other girl for the ride, and run to the front of the school not a moment too soon. Charlotte sees her mother pull up a second later and hurries over, waving.
"Hey," Rory says fondly. "Good day?"
"Not bad."
"What's all that on your face?"
"Oh - we were trying out makeup at lunchtime. This girl brought new stuff to school..."
"Uh huh," Rory says. She doesn't sound entirely convinced, but doesn't ask any further, and starts the car up to her daughter's relief.
Lorelai arrives with the dress on Saturday afternoon. Charlotte all but snatches it from her, runs to the bedroom and shrieks with delight. The dress now fits perfectly and she runs back out, hugging Lorelai tightly. "I love it! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"You're welcome," Lorelai laughs. "Did I tell you I could fix it or what?"
"You're a genius," Charlotte says and Lorelai says proudly, "Well, that I know. You excited, kid?"
"I thought she was going to hit the ceiling during breakfast," Rory remarks, making Lorelai laugh again. "And you guys? You excited to come sleep over after Charlotte goes?"
"Yeah!" Richie and Annie shout and Lorelai says, "Excellent! Well, seeing as how the dance isn't for another four hours, how about we put a movie on? You know, when Mom came to see Rory get ready I thought she was crazy and now I totally get it. I'm going to take so many pictures!"
Charlotte doesn't follow one word of the movie. As soon as it's over she bolts upstairs to shower and start getting ready. After she's finished getting dry and brushing her hair, Charlotte carefully steps into the dress. She looks in the mirror and then jumps at the knock on the door.
"Come in!"
It's Lorelai and Rory and Charlotte sighs. "I don't know what to do with my hair."
"I have an idea," Rory says. She pulls out a packet of hairslides with stars on, sparkling in the light. Charlotte gasps at them. "Mom, where did you get those?"
"I went back to the mall and got them in that fancy acessories place," Rory grins. "Do you like them?"
"I love them!"
"How about we curl your hair?" Lorelai says thoughtfully. "And put these in around the front?"
Charlotte loves the idea. While the curling irons are heating up, her mother does her makeup, fortunately not noticing that the mascara is new. Lorelai curls Charlotte's hair, slips in the hairslides and uses almost half the bottle of hairspray.
"Jeez, Nana!"
"That'll hold for three fast dances and at least one slow one," Lorelai says as her granddaughter coughs. "Trust me."
"What do you think?" Rory asks, placing her hands on her daughter's shoulders and moving her around to the mirror. Charlotte stares and then stands up get a better look. The dress floats out softly around her while her hair tumbles over her shoulders, the starry hairslides glimmering here and there in its waves. She can't believe she's the same girl who spilled juice all over her shirt yesterday.
"Beautiful," Lorelai annouces, smiling at Rory who's looking emotional. "I have to say I did an excellent job. Actually, Rory, you deserve the praise. I did the dress but you made the girl inside it."
"Mom!" Rory exclaims and Charlotte groans, "Nana, don't be gross."
"Sorry. Anyway, I have get back down there and Charlotte, get ready at the top of the stairs. Movie stars always walk down staircases."
Charlotte rolls her eyes but is pleased. Her mother laughs, wiping at her eye, and says, "Well, you heard her. Better get ready to make your entrance!"
"Thanks, Mom. For all this."
"I loved it," Rory says. She smiles at her daughter before hurrying down after Lorelai and Charlotte takes a deep breath. She walks down the hall and then groans. "I didn't know the paparazzi were going to be here."
Her grandmother, mother and father are all waiting with a camera each and Charlotte exclaims, "Who even uses cameras anymore?"
"Hey!" Lorelai says, sounding affronted and Jess says, "Your adoring fans do. Now come on, smile!"
"So bossy," Charlotte says but she goes up and down the staircase twice so pictures can be taken twice. Richie and Annie even look and remark she looks pretty before getting bored and going back to the television.
"Place your hand on the banister and look up," Lorelai orders and then exclaims, "Whoa. Emily moment, right there. Oh man, it's happening."
There's a beep from Charlotte's phone and she says excitedly,"That's Tyler. I'd better go."
"Hey," Rory says, taking her daughter's arm. "That's how he's letting you know he's here? He's texting you?"
"Yeah," Charlotte says, confused, and her mother and grandmother exhcange a look.
"Now I'm turning into Emily," Rory ponders. "I said Dean could just honk. But that's still better than texting."
"Same gist though," Lorelai argues and Charlotte's phone beeps again.
"Guys, I need to go," Charlotte groans and her heart sinks at the steely look in their eyes.
"He can come to the door," Lorelai decides and Jess nods. "We'll wait."
Charlotte's phone goes off twice more and finally there's a knock at the door, which is more of a thump. Charlotte opens it, ready to collapse with embarrassment, especially as half her family are behind her. Tyler is waiting, wearing a tux and confused frown. "Hi," she mumbles. "Sorry."
"No big deal. You ready?"
"She's coming home at twelve," Rory says, folding her arms. "And no stopping off on the way."
"Mom!"
"I got it," Tyler says. "Can I go warm up the car?"
Lorelai rolls her eyes but Tyler either doesn't notice or doesn't care. He heads back down and Charlotte tries not to roll her own eyes as her mother says, "Listen up. Keep your cellphone on you. Home by twelve."
"You already said that."
"I'm saying it again. And don't do anything stupid."
"Like what?"
"You know like what," Jess puts in. "No drugs, no drinking, no sex."
"Dad!"
"It's our job to remind you of stuff like this," Rory says seriously. "And one more thing."
"What?"
"Have an amazing time," Rory says and Charlotte smiles, letting her hug her. "We'll see you tonight, okay?"
"Home by twelve or you turn into a pumpkin," adds Lorelai. Charlotte laughs, waves goodbye and runs down to the car.
"Let's do this," Tyler says. He leans over, kisses her, and begins to drive.
They go straight to the dance. It's perishing outside and Charlotte hurries into the school. The air is heady and sticky from all the people already inside, dancing and gathered at the table, laughing over drinks of punch. Tyler takes her hand and they walk over to the dancefloor. A fast song is playing and he spins her around, laughing as he catches Charlotte by the waist. Lorelai was right, the hairspray is holding up, and Charlotte can't stop smiling. She dances with Ivy, poses for photos, and then a slow song comes on. Charlotte goes over to Tyler and they start swaying to the music.
"I really like you, Charlotte," Tyler says quietly. Charlotte looks into his eyes and says softly, "Me too. I really like you too."
"I might be starting to like, love you." Charlotte can only smile and Tyler adds, somewhat less romantically, "I've only thought that about three people, maybe."
"You're my first." Charlotte blushes at how it sounds but Tyler just laughs and moves a little closer to her. Charlotte closes her eyes to the music, wishing the night could never end.
They stop when the song ends for some punch. It's too sweet but Charlotte is so excited she hardly tastes it. She gets out her phone and sees it's ten thirty. The dance is on for a whole more hour, and she is just going to suggest they dance a little longer when a guy from the football team comes over and says, "Hey, you want to hit the after party?"
Charlotte looks at Tyler. She doesn't know what the after party is but he's nodding enthusiastically. When the guy leaves Charlotte puts her hand on his sleeve and asks, "What party?"
"The guys from the team arranged it. We were thinking of going to the field , you know, where things are a little less in the eyes of teachers."
The field is the place anyone goes for parties and what Emily would call illicit behaviour. Charlotte hesitates and says, "I have to be home by twelve."
"Relax, we'll be back by then." Tyler puts his arm around her and says, "You don't have to be such a good girl all the time."
Charlotte looks at her hands and Ivy goes over to her. "Hey! Are you going to the party?"
"You're going?"
"Of course I am!"
"Well, I guess I'll go," Charlotte says. "As long as we're back on time."
It's not like her parents forbade her from stopping off on the way back, Charlotte reasons uneasily with herself. She's not doing anything that wrong. There's already a gang of people there by the time they arrive and someone has started a bonfire. Charlotte and Tyler settle down by it, and Charlotte tries to dispel the nagging feeling she's getting over being here. A small hipflask of something is being passed around but Charlotte shakes her head. Tyler shakes his too, smiling at Charlotte, and she feels slightly better. She's not breaking any real rules and neither is he. Everyone starts talking after that, complaining about school and parents and it dissolves to the couples around the fire making out. Charlotte shifts, not knowing if she's expected to do so too, but Tyler gets up, taking her hand. "Come on, let's go somewhere more private."
Charlotte looks over at Ivy but she's busy talking to a girl from Lit class. it's freezing but seems too obvious to argue that. Tyler ducks around a small copse of trees and then he's kissing her, more passionately than before, and Charlotte kisses him too, pressing her body to his. Tyler's running his hands up and down her back and through her hair, and he takes her hands. He lies down on the grass and Charlotte does so too. The ground is stubbly and not the most comfortable thing, especially in winter, but then he's kissing her again and the world slips away. Charlotte hears him moan into her mouth and feels his hands caressing the edge of her dress. A hairslide falls out from her hair, scraping her ear, and it makes Charlotte pull herself back to the present.
"We need to stop," she says, panting, and Tyler asks, "Why?"
"Why? Because we're in a middle of a field, the field, with other people around and I don't want to - not here, not like this. I don't even have..." Charlotte stops, embarrassed, and gets up. Tyler gets up too but Charlotte feels too shy to look at him. She concentrates on getting her hair out of her eyes and then a really awful thought crosses her mind.
"What's the time?"
"Uh..."
Charlotte opens her purse, getting out a phone, and a yelp arrests in her throat. It's after midnight. Any hope that her parents might think she's running late is lost as she sees several missing calls and seven texts asking where she is. Charlotte doesn't want to know what they're going to say in person.
"We need to go right now!"
Charlotte starts running to the car before he does. Most people have gone now and the air is icy but Charlotte is so anxious she hardly notices. Someone is already waiting by the car, two someones, and Charlotte stops in her tracks. Her mother and father are standing there and before Charlotte can say a word Rory just says, "Get in. We're going home this second."
Charlotte doesn't ask how they knew she was there. She doesn't dare say goodbye to Tyler. They get in, drive home in silence and Charlotte knows she can't even explain. Another hairslide falls out and Charlotte lets the small star gleam before holding it tightly in her hand. Once inside, Jess is the first one to talk.
"I've never been so disappointed in you."
"I didn't do anything!"
"You lied to us!" Rory exclaims. Her voice is shaking with anger. "You did everything wrong!"
"I didn't drink, I didn't -"
"Charlotte, your hair is a mess! And you're covered in grass! Oh my God!"
"I didn't do anything!" Charlotte shouts and her mother shakes her head. "You don't know how young you are," she says. "You think you're so grown up, but you are just sixteen. I wish I could make you understand that."
"I didn't have sex!"
Her parents look at each other and Charlotte cries, "It was just a party! I'm sorry I was late, but -"
"That's not good enough," Jess says. "We trusted you."
"I'm sorry," Charlotte says. She knows it's too little to say but there's nothing else. "I am."
"Go to sleep," Rory says. "We'll talk about it in the morning."
"Okay," Charlotte says after a pause. She looks at her parents, not knowing what to do, and slowly goes upstairs. The beautiful dress has a tear from running and, after peeling it off, Charlotte collapses into bed crying and turns out the light.