fur' tive - adj., done slyly or stealthily; secret, shifty

Within ten seconds of leaving the house, Asriel says, "Chara, I'm scared."

You pull your hand out of his so you can pinch the bridge of your nose. You sigh deeply but don't say anything.

Asriel crosses his arms over his chest, pouting slightly. "Sorry."

You rub your finger against the flat side of your knife. "This was your idea," you say. "I didn't even want to do this, but you know what? I'm not gonna let us turn around before we've even found anything." You stop walking, taking a moment to survey your surroundings – to the left of you is a line of short buildings that have pathways weaving in and out and around them like a maze, and to the right is a wall of buildings that you can barely see a crack in, but that you're sure you could find a way through. To continue forward, you know, would take you to the garden. "Alright, which way are we gonna go?"

Asriel drops his arms and frowns. "I dunno. I couldn't tell where the voice was coming from."

You couldn't either, but since Asriel is acting like a child, you need to take the lead. You point with your free hand in a random direction. "Then we'll go this way." You start walking to the left before Asriel even has a chance to protest.

He follows a couple of steps behind you, clearly nervous and embarrassed. You sigh again and hold out your hand. Asriel hurries up beside you and grabs it before you can change your mind.

You continue walking in silence, broken only by the sound of your feet hitting the ground. It's almost too quiet, you realize. You look around New Home, wondering where everyone is. With Asgore and Toriel doing their rounds today, you thought there'd be even more people out and about than usual. All kinds of monsters live in New Home, so why can't you see a single one?

You repeat your observations to Asriel, who blinks. His eyes dart around, growing more worried by the second. His grip tightens around your hand.

"Never mind," you say quickly. "I'm sure that it's fine – it's not a big deal."

He stops walking, pulling you to a stop as well. "Chara," he says quietly. He looks at you with big, sad eyes. "Have you heard it?"

"Heard what?" you ask.

"Have you heard the voice call for help since we left the house?"

"No," you say, a feeling of dread in your stomach, though you don't know why.

Asriel looks down. His ears cover his eyes from your view, but from the way his shoulders are moving, you can tell that he's crying.

"Asriel," you say, snapping just enough to get his attention, "what's the big deal? Why does that matter?" You grip your knife tighter. Is someone going to try to hurt Asriel? Did he realize that this was a trap? You don't wait for him to answer. "We're leaving," you say with finality, deciding to retcon your earlier decision. Whatever is going on, you'd rather Asriel be safe than force him to deal with the consequences of his actions.

He looks up at you, mouth open in shock. "What? No! We have to go…."

"Go where? Go do what?"

His lip quivers. "We have to go tell them goodbye!"

"Tell who goodbye?" Your voice is harsh, but you're fed up. "Jesus, Asriel, use your words!"

He stomps his foot, avoiding your eyes, and doesn't say anything. He's distressed, but frankly, you don't really care.

"This was your idea!" you remind him again. "Stop being such a big baby!"

He squeezes your hand and draws a deep breath. "Whoever Fell Down!" he says, fast and loud. He lowers his voice, but continues just as quickly: "Someone Fell Down and we could hear them so I bet everyone else could too and Mom and Dad aren't here so we need to go do something!"

You know what that means, you think; or, well, you should know, but you can't quite put your finger on it. But you know it's something bad. "Okay, and how are we supposed to replace Mom and Dad?"

Asriel's other hand gestures vaguely. "We just have to be there?" You think he means it as a statement, but it comes out almost like he's asking your opinion.

"Is it dangerous?"

"Don't be – I mean, no." Asriel apparently thought better of whatever he was about to say, but you scowl at him anyway because you get the feeling he was going to insult you. "Besides," he continues, "we can't just ignore it. We've already come this far, so we should keep going. We gotta go see what we can do to help, Chara."

"And if we can't do anything?" you wonder, looking at him askance.

"We can't just not try," he nearly whines.

Try what? Try to pretend like you're adults? Try to fix a situation that you weren't involved with in the first place? There's no reason to try because there is nothing to try.

Despite your thoughts, you find your resolve slipping at the look Asriel is giving you. You don't want to upset him even further, and you sigh in defeat. You pull your hand out of his and face him, then give him an awkward, one-armed hug. "Fine," you say after you've released him.

He smiles, pleased, but there's still an underlying nervousness in his expression that makes you a bit anxious in return. "All right," he says. He looks around, trying to remember which way you had been heading. You're both silent, trying to listen for a clue as to where everyone had gone, but you don't hear so much as a rustling leaf.

"Let's just keep going that way," you finally say, pointing in what you're pretty sure is the same direction that you had earlier.

For lack of a better alternative, Asriel agrees, and you start walking again. Neither of you says anything as you continue on your way. You wonder what you're going to do if you don't find anything. You wonder what you're going to do if you do find something. What does Asriel think is going to happen? You're just going to show up, see someone who is sick or whatever, and then walk away. Your gait stutters as you remember – Fallen Down. A monster who can't get up; a monster who's about to….

Huh.

Shit.

You try not to let the realization show on your face, but shit, you don't want to go to a funeral! You want to turn around, you don't want to see a monster turn into dust.

You've turned monsters to dust, a part of you reminds yourself. You imagine yourself stomping out that part of your brain. It'll come back, you know, but you don't want to listen to it right now.

You wonder if you'd be able to convince Asriel to turn around after you've already committed to going (again). You probably could, but at the same time, you don't want to make him upset with you. You bite the inside of your lip. You probably won't find anything, anyway, so you should stop worrying about it.

After another two or three minutes of walking, you finally hear voices. Asriel perks up at the same time, looking around to see where they're coming from. You see a large, intimidating monster turn the corner to face you guys. You stop dead in your tracks, but Asriel just waves casually and says, "Hi, night-night!"

You figure it's better not to ask why he just wished the knight a goodnight, so you keep your mouth shut. You can't help but feel like you're missing something, though.

Asriel slows down as more monsters come into view. He turns back around to face you, looking despondent again. "They must be done," he mumbles. "With the ceremony."

You pat him, attempting to be reassuring. "Well, that's good, isn't it?"

He hunches his shoulders. "How is this in any way a good thing?"

You try to ignore the annoyed tone of his words, but you tense. You give up on comforting and smack him lightly. "The sooner the...um, process is over, the sooner people can move on. And now...that monster is happy, right? They're on their favorite thing, aren't they?"

Asriel rubs his eyes. "I guess you're right." He sighs. "Come on. Let's go back home."

You avoid as many monsters as possible on your way back. Asriel wants to ask them who had Fallen Down, but you tell him that he might be better off not knowing. He looks sad, but reluctantly agrees.

Finally, after a trudging walk, you're making your way up the staircase with Asriel trailing a few feet behind, when you're met with a scream.

"Chara!" Toriel yells.

You reach the landing to see an anxious Toriel running towards you, only to kneel and capture you in a tight hug. You clear your throat. "Hi to you too." You're abruptly aware of the fact that you have a knife in your hand. You try to stealthily slip it into your pocket, diverting her attention by bringing your other hand up to scratch your head. "Did you have a good round?"

Toriel acts as though she didn't hear you. "Child," she says, pulling back so she can look you in the face, "are you hurt? Where is...Asriel!" She sees him over your shoulder. "Chara, Asriel! Where were the two of you? Why did you leave the house – and without your phone? Are you okay? Are either of you hurt?"

"We just wanted to go outside," you say, hoping the hesitance in your response isn't too apparent. Damn, you really should have come up with a cover story before you got back to the house.

Asriel runs up the last couple of steps. "I'm sorry, Mom, I just forgot to bring it! And yes, we're both fine, neither of us got hurt."

Toriel still seems high-strung. "Are you certain?" She looks from you to Asriel and back, as though she's trying to figure out the question herself without you having to answer.

"Yes," Asriel says.

"Yeah," you add.

Toriel stands, letting out a sigh. "Well, all right. I am relieved that neither of you are hurt." She pauses and looks at you both seriously. "But I am disappointed that you left the house without letting us know." She directed that mostly at Asriel, you noticed.

"It was my fault," you find yourself saying before you can even really think about your words. "It was a spur of the moment decision, and I convinced him to –"

"What!" Asriel interrupts. "You did not! I convinced you."

You resist the urge to hit him or roll your eyes. You glance at him, trying to convey a message along the lines of, I'm trying to help you; please shut up.

He doesn't seem to get it, and for a moment you're afraid he'll tell Toriel why you two had actually left, but luckily, Toriel laughs. "For some reason, I am unsurprised," she mumbles, looking at you two fondly. She turns around and gestures for you to follow her. "Come, now." She leads you to the living room and calls ahead, "Gorey?"

Asgore peaks his head out of this kitchen. He sees you and smiles. "See, Tori? I told you that they would be fine!"

Toriel narrows her eyes and Asgore wisely removes himself from her line of sight.

"I'm sorry we worried you, Mom," Asriel says again.

Toriel smiles at him and pats his head. "Oh...I am sorry as well, my children. I should not have jumped to such hasty conclusions."

"We just weren't thinking it through," you say. "We'll be more careful next time, we promise. Now that we've done something like that, we won't do it again." You keep your voice confident and repentant, but you await her reply with bated breath. She could easily say that you and Asriel are never allowed to stay home alone again because you've both proven yourselves to be irresponsible.

"I trust that you will," Toriel says, rubbing your hair as well. You stand stiffly, waiting for a catch or a condition. She notices your nervousness. "Chara," she says softly, "I am not angry. I was worried that one or both of you was hurt, but I am not mad at you."

You look up at her through your bangs. "...You mean it?"

"I do."

You turn your chin up and grin. "Thank you – Mom!" You throw your arms around her and hug her, letting her see your happiness and relief.

Toriel rubs your back softly. "I love you, Chara. I am glad that you are all right."

You pull back, a bit sheepishly. "Yeah, me too. We promise to be good next time," you add.

Toriel stands and pats your head. "I trust that you will," she says again.

For some reason, you're filled with pride. She walks into the kitchen, finally seeming to truly relax. You're relieved that she's not upset with you – you don't know what you would have done if she were. You are, however, annoyed that both you and Asriel were careless enough to forgot the cell phone. But how could you have known that they would call again so soon after hanging up? You wonder what they'd called about, anyway; they must have needed something that couldn't wait. Or maybe they just wanted to say that they were on their way home.

You shake your head, deciding not to worry about it as you walk to your room, Asriel's footsteps audible behind you. Everyone is home now, and everyone is okay. Well, except for whoever died, but you don't think that they really count right now.

"Hey, Chara," Asriel says when you're standing outside of your room. You glance over at him – he's got a pensive look on his face. He lowers his voice as he continues, "Why'd you try to...to lie to Mom?"

You frown, shaking your head and gesturing for Asriel to follow you into the room. He walks behind you, trying to keep his mouth shut until you two are alone again.

"Shut the door behind you," you say, pulling out the knife and setting it down before walking over to your bed. He does, and then follows you, perching on the edge of your bed. You know he's not talking about the first little white lie – saying that you guys had left the house for the hell of it. He's asking why you'd try to take the blame for something that wasn't your fault. "Because I didn't want you to get in trouble," you say.

Asriel blinks. "Huh? Why would you –?"

"Because I didn't want you to get in trouble," you repeat, letting irritation seep into your voice from having to say the same thing twice.

Asriel fidgets with your blanket. "But you shouldn't lie," he says with the tone of someone who clearly has never had to lie to his parents.

You shrug and lie down, resting your head on the pillow. "It's not that big of a deal, you know." Asriel doesn't say anything, but you can almost feel him radiating disapproval – or, at the very least, discomfort. "It's not," you insist, staring up at the ceiling. "You know, sometimes it's better to lie. It sounds bad. I know it does." Your voice gets softer as your continue. "But people lie for all different kinds of reasons. If I'm trying to help, then how is it a bad thing?"

Asriel scoots further back onto your bed until his back is pressed up against the wall. "I...I don't know. I guess it's not." He looks up at the ceiling, too, and is quiet for a moment. You get the feeling that he's gathering his thoughts. "Does that mean you'd lie to mean, then?" The question sounds almost neutral, and you think it's the most impressive display of deception that you've ever seen from him.

"No," you answer quickly. "No, I – you, you're different, Asriel."

"How's that different?" Asriel asks, a whine seeping into his tone. "How am I different?"

You consider his question carefully. Why is Asriel different? If anything, you should lie to Asriel more – he could ruin you with all the stuff you've shared with him.

That's it, you realize. You let the realization sink in before you say, "I...trust you." You feel like you should say more, but the rest of your words get caught in your throat. You trust Asriel not to hurt you (purposefully), not to betray you, and not to go against you. You're letting him sit on your bed, for God's sake, and the thought of telling him to get up hasn't even crossed your mind, despite the clear invasion of your privacy. You're not lying to him – you don't like lying to him. You will do it, of course, but you've noticed that you tend to default to telling the truth with him. How weird is that? And it's not that you dislike Asgore and Toriel because you...you really like them, too. Maybe it's the closeness of your and Asriel's ages that makes you feel closer to him, or maybe it's his weak nature; he's not a threat to you, not really. Sure, there are days when you wished he were stronger, but you have to admit that it's refreshing to be able to let your guard down fully.

Like right now.

Asriel still hasn't responded, and you turn your head to look at him. His eyes are trained downward and his knees are pulled close to his chest, arms wrapped around them as though he's trying to protect himself.

He looks weak, you think. Fragile. Soft. Young.

Unbidden, a thought flies into your head, and you wonder if you only enjoy being around Asriel because it makes you feel better about yourself. Who would call you weak when you're next to the epitome of a crybaby? Who would think you're childish if they saw this kid curled in on himself, timid and small, shoulders shaking with tears?

He's not crying now, though. You had thought he might be, with how stressful the day has been. You should be relieved that he's not, but instead it leaves you with an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your gut at the uncharacteristic blankness on his face. Asriel is expressive; it's one of many things you like about him. Seeing his eyes so blank and his body so still makes you more upset than you'd care to admit.

"Are you mad at me?" you ask abruptly, nearly startling even yourself.

You're relieved when Asriel jumps at the sound of your voice, breaking that annoying tension in his body. He moves easily, stretching out his legs and setting his hands on either side of him, pressed against the bed. He sighs. "I'm not, I promise. I just – I really don't wanna lie to Mom and Dad."

"You don't have to," you object. "I wouldn't make you lie to them. Just….Whenever I need to lie for us, you don't need to speak up about it."

"How would I know when to…." Asriel trails off, frowning, suddenly looking guilty. His hands meet in his laps and he fidgets. "You don't lie unless you've gotta, right?"

"Right."

"So if I think you are, I can just...ask you about it later?"

"'Course."

"I think that sounds...I mean, I guess….That's okay." He meets your eyes, finally, and glances at your pillow. You scoot over to make room, and he lies down next to you.

"What, you tired?" you tease.

"Yeah," he mumbles, looking embarrassed but not turning his face away.

On an impulse, you reach up a hand to and pat his cheek. "Take a nap, then." You allow your own eyes to close.

"I'm not a baby!" he objects quickly.

You crack open one eye. "And you think I am?"

"What? I – no, of course you're not, I –"

"Take a nap, Azzy."

The exchange does nothing to assuage his chagrin, and he closes his eyes tightly, not wanting to say anything else. You, in turn, open both of your eyes.

You watch as the force he'd closed his eyes with begins to fade, lines and stress bleeding out as he falls asleep. He really must have been tired; that couldn't have taken longer than five minutes.

You consider closing your eyes, but decide not to waste time on a nap. You slide easily out of the bed and make your way out of the room on nearly silent feet, barely remembering to turn the lamp off before you leave the room. Asriel doesn't stir as darkness descends around him, but he does when you open the door. You hear the covers shift, but instead of freezing, you quickly slip out and click the door shut behind you.

Asgore and Toriel are in the kitchen, and you tell them that Asriel is asleep.

Toriel's eyes soften and she frowns. "I am sorry for wearing you two out as soon as you had returned home...but I am just glad that you are safe."

You wonder if you should be keeping track of every time she says that – that she's "glad you're safe." Maybe you should make a list of the moments to remember; to keep you away from making dangerous decisions. But the idea is gone as soon as you have it, and you decide not to worry yourself with trying to remember why you suddenly feel like you've lost something.

Asgore suggests that you take a nap as well while he and Toriel prepare dinner. You consider making a comment about how Toriel probably won't allow him to help much, but you're not sure you're ready to tease them so soon after upsetting them. You agree easily enough and take your leave, walking slowly enough that you hear Asgore and Toriel begin to talk in low, serious voices as soon as you're out of the living room.

You keep walking forward, though slower and slower. Should you backtrack and listen? They're almost definitely talking about you and Asriel. You really should know what they're not telling you.

But they'll probably tell you tomorrow. And you are kinda tired. And Asriel is already resting, curled up in your bed, having fallen asleep thinking you'd done the same. For some reason, the minor deception squeezes your chest – not tight enough to hurt, but tight enough that it makes you uncomfortable.

Your hand hovers above the knob to your bedroom. You can't hear Toriel and Asgore from this far away. Maybe they're already done talking. Maybe they weren't even talking about you to begin with.

Maybe resting once in a while isn't so bad.