Chapter Twenty-Five: Silk (Firm)
Two weeks.
That gave him until… what, the fourth of May? That wasn't enough time, not to make a decision this consequential. Teddy returned to his dormitory downcast and more terrified than ever before. He didn't know what to do—what to choose. He could either get that book back for Ralph, or he could let Ralph tell the entire school about his parents.
When he'd decided to not tell anyone about his mother and father, he didn't think that the secret would end up being held against him in this way. He knew that there'd come a time when everyone would find out, but he liked to think that he'd have some control over it, rather than being forced into it before he was ready.
Maybe it'd seem like a no-brainer to others. Tell everyone about being an orphan, about being the son of a Werewolf, instead of handing over the book full of dark information to someone who wasn't trustworthy at all, whose motives were suspicious. But what Ralph had said kept coming to the forefront of Teddy's mind. Everyone knew that werewolves were dangerous and as they so rarely had children, the effects of lycanthropy on their progeny weren't well known, understood, or even investigated. There was every possibility that parents would write to Hogwarts, demanding that Teddy be removed from the campus for the safety of their children. And he wouldn't be able to bear that.
He told Alfie and Ella as much when he related the tale of his conversation with Ralph. Alfie refused to believe that it would happen. "No one would do that, Teddy," he told him earnestly. "Why would they? It's not as if they know you personally."
Ella, however, seemed more doubtful than Alfie. "I don't know, Teddy," she said, shaking her head. "The Wizarding World does have its prejudices, and its stigmas. I'm not going to tell you that it won't happen, because it could. But it doesn't have to. And while there will be people who'll judge you for having a lycanthrope as a father, there'll be others who won't care. We certainly won't."
"I know, Ella," Teddy said, miserably. "I just—I don't know what to do."
"Maybe you could go to McGonagall?" Alfie suggested.
Teddy shook his head. "No. She won't understand. And then she'll talk to Ralph, and Ralph'll tell everyone anyway." He sighed. "I just really don't know what to do."
"I know," Ella said. "But we can't make the decision for you, Ted. No matter what Alfie and I say, it's ultimately up to you. After all, it's your life."
Usually Alfie and Ella helped Teddy make difficult decisions, but right now, they weren't helping at all. He didn't want to think about his impending doom any longer, so he changed the subject. "Why do you think Ralph wants the book anyway? What's so special about it—apart from the fact that it's forbidden?"
"I don't know." Ella shrugged. "I tried looking it up in the library—I asked one of the library elves if they had any books on censorship in the modern Wizarding World, and they did, but none of them mentioned it. And I couldn't find anything on who wrote it either, so it's not like I can research them."
"Wait—there are elves in the library?" Alfie's eyes widened. "I thought they were only in the kitchen!"
Ella shot him a withering look. "Yes, Alfie, there are elves in the library—you wouldn't know, of course, because you don't spend nearly enough time in there. They help Madame Pince organize the books and they know the library catalogue back to front."
"You don't suppose they'd know what's in The New Age of the Dark Arts, do you?" Teddy said suddenly. If the library elves knew the catalogue as well as Ella said they did, chances were that they'd be very familiar with the sensitive content in the Restricted Section. He thought it was a genuine, legitimate question, but Ella turned her scornful gaze on him. "What?"
"Sometimes I wonder if you two ever think," she said, shaking her head. "Going up to an elf who reports to Madame Pince and asking what's in an incredibly sensitive book will help, won't it?"
"Well, when you put it that way."
Still, Teddy was determined to find out what was within the pages of The New Age of the Dark Arts. Maybe it would give him something to hold over Ralph, something that he could use to delay him from blurting out his secret to the entirety of Hogwarts. Something that might be able to give Teddy a little more control in this seemingly uncontrollable situation.
And he knew just the person to ask.
.oOo.
The full moon rose again on the twenty-eighth of April. Alfie offered to sneak out with Teddy, but Teddy turned him down, saying that he felt like being alone. At around ten PM, he morphed himself into Professor Longbottom and strode through the greyscale castle grounds, wrapping his cloak tightly around his shoulders to keep himself warm. Hagrid was waiting for him, watching from the window of his hut, and opened the door to let him in.
"Yeh alrigh' there, Teddy?" the half-giant asked, as Teddy morphed back into himself. Fang happily approached him and he knelt down to stroke the large dog, who licked him happily.
"I'm fine, Hagrid," Teddy said, forcing a smile. In reality, he was more than a little nervous. An entire week had passed since Ralph's ultimatum and he hadn't come to a decision about what to do yet. He'd been waiting for this night, waiting to see Hagrid. He had a feeling that Hagrid might know what was in the book—after all, he'd lived through the controversy that had surrounded its publication. Teddy was sure he'd be able to get the professor to divulge something, but he had to be subtle about it. Hagrid would certainly clamp up if he suspected something was afoot.
Hagrid eyed him warily, but seemed to dismiss his uneasiness. "Yeh hungry?"
"Not really," Teddy said. "I had a big dinner. I am a little thirsty though—do you have any tea?"
"Do I?" Hagrid's grin expanded. "Of course I do. Got some from Madame Puddifoot's just las' week, I did. Let me make some fer yeh." He strode into the corner of the room, opening a rickety, wooden cupboard, extracted a small, pink packet containing tealeaves. As he sat down on the sofa, Teddy couldn't help but think that something so delicate seemed rather out of place within the hut. It didn't seem to bother Hagrid, however, and he went about boiling a bit of water and pouring it into a cup with the leaves.
He handed the mug to Teddy before sitting down on the sofa opposite him. Teddy clutched the mug tightly, allowing the warmth to course through him.
"There, now yeh must be feeling better." Hagrid beamed down at the turquoise-haired wizard, who smiled and nodded happily. The tea, however, had not quelled the butterflies in his stomach. He wanted to ask about the book and get it over with, but he didn't know how exactly to lead up to the conversation.
Hagrid asked him about how his classes were going, and he replied honestly, telling him all about how he was enjoying Potions, Herbology and Defense Against the dark Arts. "I just wish they taught us more about Magical Creatures," he said, sighing. "We've learned the basics about Grindylowes and Werewolves, but nothing really advanced, y'know?"
"Yeh should take Care O' Magical Creatures in your third year, then," Hagrid suggested.
"I want to," Teddy said, earnestly. "I'm just a bit scared of handling creatures. What if I hurt them? Or they hurt me?"
Hagrid chuckled. "Don' yeh worry, Teddy. We make sure that yeh're not going to be hurt—why, no creature is dangerous, not if yeh treat them righ'. The Ministry don't know wha' they're talkin' about most of the time—half the creatures on their Class A lis' wouldn' hurt a fly."
The Ministry, Teddy thought. They would be responsible for the publication of books, wouldn't they? Particularly those that contained sensitive materials. Figuring that this was probably the best way to transition into a conversation on the book, he asked, "Hagrid? Have you heard of a book called The New Age of the Dark Arts?"
The title clearly had a profound impact on the Professor. His hand shook slightly and he turned very pale, cheeks flushing slightly. "Now why would yeh be askin' about tha, Teddy?" Any confidence that his voice had held had disappeared and the passion had been replaced by a tone of uncertainty, even nervousness. Teddy's suspicions were immediately confirmed—Hagrid must have some idea of what was in the book. Why else would he react in this manner? And maybe, if he could convince Hagrid to tell him what was in the book, he'd be able to understand why Ralph wanted it so much.
"I don't want to read it or anything," he quickly reassured Hagrid. "I've just heard of it. About—er—how bad it is. And I was just wondering what was in it. I get that books are in the Restricted Section because they contain material that's not suitable for kids my age, but why would the Ministry or anyone not want to publish a book?"
Hagrid's face had regained some colour, but he still looked shaky. He was clutching his mug with such force that his knuckles had turned white and the mug looked as if it was about to shatter. "I dunno if yer grandmother or godfather would appreciate me talkin' about this teh yeh," he began.
"Please, Hagrid," Teddy begged. "I won't tell them, promise"
"Why are yeh so interested in tha' book?"
Teddy shrugged. "Just curious, I suppose."
Hagrid's brow furrowed. "I s'pose it's better that I tell yeh then yeh go lookin' by yourself an' get into all sorts o' trouble." He leaned in slightly. "Wha' I'm about teh tell yeh, yeh're not teh go repeatin' to anyone. Not even yer friends, Alfie and Ella."
Teddy nodded. "I won't," he said. He felt bad about lying to Hagrid, but he knew he'd have to tell Alfie and Ella. They'd be able to help him make sense of whatever he learned, and to decide what action they'd need to take. After all, they couldn't just sit around as the two-week deadline grew closer and closer.
"There were a lot of arguments 'bout its publication a few years ago," Hagrid began. Teddy leaned forward and rested his chin on his palm, listening intently. "Lot o' people didn' wan' it teh be published—thought it'd do more harm than good."
"Why?"
"Yeh gotta understan', Teddy." Hagrid shifted uncomfortably. "Not all magic is good. Some of it's jus' better bein' left alone o' forgotten."
"But isn't the book about recent developments?"
"And those are often the wors'," Hagrid muttered darkly. "Tha' book contains spells an' rituals, Teddy, tha' can inspire a lot o' fear in people. An' fear is a powerful thing."
Silence filled Hagrid's hut. Teddy felt his stomach sink painfully and he shifted slightly, trying to get rid of the uncomfortable sensation, but it persisted. Fear. He'd heard about how it had been a powerful element of Wizarding society when Voldemort had been in power. He didn't want to give Ralph the ability to create that kind of atmosphere again, the atmosphere where people didn't know if their families would come home alive, or if they'd be alive come morning.
"It doesn't actually contain instructions on how to perform them though, does it?" he asked Hagrid.
Thankfully, the large man shook his head. "But once yeh know the incantations and the basics, it's easy enough teh figure it out on yer own."
The uncomfortable feeling in Teddy's stomach intensified. He knew that Ralph couldn't possibly have all the information that he required from the book, not if he wanted it back. But what did he know? Did he have the incantations or the basics of the rituals? Would he be able to inspire that dreaded fear in people? Teddy didn't know, but he feared the worst.
Hagrid narrowed his eyes at Teddy and regarded him suspiciously. "Are yeh okay there, Teddy? Yeh seem a little unnerved."
"I'm fine, Hagrid," Teddy said, a little too quickly. The professor raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. "Just thinking."
"Why are yeh so interested in tha' book?"
Teddy paused for a second. It would be so easy to just tell Hagrid about what Ralph had done and what he was threatening to do. He knew that he could trust Hagrid, and that Hagrid would know what to do—even if it meant that he'd probably tell his godfather, who would likely be incredibly disappointed in him. But at least he'd have someone who knew and someone who could help.
But then again, Teddy thought, he didn't know whether Ralph would find out. The seventh-year seemed to have eyes everywhere, and if he had managed to adjust the wards around his room, who knew what other spells he could perform? He could have a Surveillance Spell on Teddy at this very moment, he could be watching. And if Teddy told Hagrid and Ralph found out, he might just reveal Teddy's heritage to the whole school on the spot. Teddy didn't feel like he was ready for that.
So instead of telling Hagrid the truth, he simply shook his head. "I just heard about it in my Defense Against the Dark Arts class, and was curious. That's all."
He could only hope that Hagrid believed him.
.oOo.
The next day, he told Alfie and Ella about what Hagrid had said. They too, were visibly uncomfortable and Ella muttered something or the other about how it wasn't difficult to figure out how to execute a spell once the incantation was known. Teddy wasn't sure he fully understood this—after all, there were so many different wand movements. Surely it would be difficult to figure out what went with the words. But Ella was adamant—if Ralph had the incantations, he'd be able to work out how to perform the spell itself.
"Have you decided what to do, then?" Alfie asked Teddy as they walked from Transfiguration to Potions.
Teddy shook his head. He was stuck; he didn't want the entire school to find out about his parents for fear of rejection, but at the same time, he couldn't let the book fall into Ralph's hands. He supposed that, truly, he knew what he had to do—the right thing would be to forget about the book and allow Ralph to tell the truth. But just because it was the right thing didn't mean he had to like it. And he really, really didn't.
So he dragged it out. Ralph sent him warning looks across the Great Hall, the Hufflepuff Common Room, and when they passed each other in the corridors on the way to classes, but Teddy ignored him. He didn't turn to the boy, didn't give him any information on what he planned to do, because he wasn't ready.
He had six days left until Ralph's deadline when a small, tawny owl from the school Owlery flew into his Charms class and landed on Professor Flitwick's desk, carrying a message from the Headmistress. Flitwick, looking rather miffed at having been interrupted, plucked the parchment from the owl's beak and scanned it.
"Mr. Lupin," he said. "You have been summoned to Professor McGonagall's office."
Teddy felt his heart sink. He swallowed and exchanged a worried look with Alfie and Ella as he gathered his books and shoved them into his backpack. The other students watched him intently and whispered amongst themselves as he left the classroom, following the owl to the Headmistress's Office.
Why was he being called to see McGonagall? Had she found out about the book? Had Ralph gone against his word and told her about how Teddy stole it from the Restricted Section? Or had she found out about his late night trips to Hagrid? Granted, he'd probably face fewer consequences for those, but he didn't want them to stop. He loved his monthly visits to Hagrid—they always managed to put his mind at ease.
The owl was carrying a tiny piece of parchment, which it dropped into Teddy's hand when they reached the bronze gargoyle that guarded McGonagall's office. Teddy read off it. "Beedle," he said, and the gargoyle sprang to life, revealing the spiral staircase that lead to the office. Teddy trudged up it, trying to ignore the growing nervousness that gripped him.
The door to the office was open. Professor McGonagall was sitting behind her desk, peering at a selection of papers over her glasses. She had a quill in her hand and scribbled a few words every now and then. One of the chairs in front of her desk was occupied by a man of average height and build. Teddy couldn't see his face, but there was something familiar about the messy black hair. Not wanting to interrupt, he knocked on the door and McGonagall looked up.
"Mr. Lupin," she said, a lot more brightly than Teddy had expected. Although she wasn't exactly smiling, she didn't seem angry or disappointed either, and Teddy began to wonder whether he actually was in trouble or whether Professor McGonagall had wanted to see him for a different reason altogether.
His suspicions were confirmed when she said, "There's someone here who would like to see you."
The black-haired man stood up and turned around. Teddy's jaw dropped and he felt a wave of excitement and disbelief as he ran up to the man and practically leapt into his outstretched arms. "Uncle Harry!"
Harry laughed and wrapped his arms around Teddy, staggering backwards slightly. "Hey, Teddy!"
"You didn't tell me you were coming!" Teddy said, as Harry held him at arm's length. "This is the best surprise ever! Is Gran here too? Why are you here?"
"I'm afraid your grandmother couldn't come," Harry said, smiling. "She sends her love, of course. And I'm here because we—" he gestured to Professor McGonagall. "Have something important to discuss with you."
Teddy's eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "Okay?"
"Why don't you sit down, Mr. Lupin?" Professor McGonagall suggested, gesturing to the wooden chair. Harry took his seat again, and Teddy sat down next to him, watching the two adults carefully.
Professor McGonagall delicately lifted her glasses and placed them higher on the bridge of her nose. "As you know, Mr. Lupin, the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts is approaching us."
Teddy nodded solemnly, trying to ignore the pang in his stomach that tended to surface whenever someone mentioned that fateful, impactful day.
"Each year, we hold a memorial ceremony, here at Hogwarts."
Teddy nodded again. Although he had quite forgotten all about it, he knew about the ceremony. He'd been several times as a baby, although he only had faint memories of it. They'd stopped going when Teddy was about five because his Gran had found it too painful and Teddy had always wanted to stay with her. Even as a young child barely capable of understanding the emotional magnitude of the Battle, he had never wanted to leave his grandmother alone on the anniversary of her daughter and son-in-law's deaths. Uncle Harry went every year, though.
Thinking hard, he was able to remember a few details about the memorial. He remembered seeing the sky light up—although he couldn't remember if the lights came from fireworks, or from something else.
"At the memorial, we remember each and every person who died during the Battle of Hogwarts by lighting a floating candle in their memory," McGonagall said.
Floating candles. Yes, that was it. He remembered the candles, enchanted to float up and away into the sky. He remembered holding one with his grandmother, the warmth of its flame tickling his hand as they let go and watched it rise up to the stars, to where his mother and father watched over him.
"Usually, we have Mr. Potter here light the first candle." The headmistress nodded to Harry, who smiled at her cheekily. "But this year, we were wondering if the time was perhaps apt to hand over that duty."
Teddy stared at her, wondering if she meant what he thought she did.
"We'd like you to do it, Ted," Harry said.
Yup, he was right.
Teddy blinked nervously and looked at the two adults. They seemed to be watching him expectantly. "You want me to light the first candle? B—but, why me? I mean, I can't even remember the battle. I was only a month old."
"You've been so greatly impacted by the war, Teddy," Harry said gently, placing a hand on Teddy's shoulder. His eyes conveyed a deep sense of empathy, a regard for what Teddy was feeling, and Teddy knew that if anyone understood him, it was his Uncle Harry. "This is a way to remember all those that died so that our world could be a better place. Including your parents."
Teddy nodded slowly. "But—how would you explain it to everyone else? Why you chose me, that is."
Professor McGonagall looked somewhat affronted. "Why, I'm sure they'll figure it out, of course. After all, you are the son of Remus and Nymphadora."
"But they don't know that."
There was silence for a moment, until Harry said, "They don't?"
Teddy swallowed. "I haven't told anyone except Ella and Alfie. I don't want people judging me. Because…because I'm an orphan." And a half-Werewolf.
McGonagall looked as if she was about to say something, but Harry began to speak first. "I understand completely, Teddy. You don't want them to treat you any differently, and you're afraid that if they find out, they'll pity you. But Teddy, you've got to tell people sometime. I'm sure some of them already know."
"But what if they don't like me anymore?"
"Then they're not your real friends."
Teddy exhaled and lowered his eyes. He knew that Uncle Harry was right, that there was no way that he could keep his parents a secret forever. And wasn't the best way to reveal the truth about them to honour them in front of the entire school? To show that he loved them, and was proud of them? It was certainly better then having Ralph tell everyone.
Ralph.
He'd forgotten about the seventh-year, but suddenly everything came rushing back. The threats, the ultimatum—it was all too much for him. What if he was right? What if things turned bad when he told everyone about his parents? He didn't want that.
Teddy took a deep breath and said, "Thank you. Really. I just—I need some time to think about it."
"Of course," Professor McGonagall murmured. "Take as much time as you need, Mr. Lupin."
.oOo.
"Hogwarts hasn't changed much since I went to school here," Harry said, walking along the deserted corridors with Teddy. Charms had ended, and Teddy was heading to the Great Hall for lunch. Harry had insisted on accompanying him, at least until they reached the ground floor. Teddy was sure that being seen with the famous Harry Potter would lead to a lot of unwanted questions.
"I guess there's less danger, though?" Teddy asked.
Harry nodded. "That's true. It seemed like I couldn't go a year without facing off against some dark force."
Teddy looked up at his godfather. He'd been through so much—he'd barely been older than Teddy when he'd first fought and defeated Lord Voldemort. He couldn't imagine what that would be like, putting his life at stake for the safety of the rest of the world. Suddenly, his problems with Ralph seemed almost inconsequential in comparison.
"Uncle Harry," he began, but trailed off. His godfather looked down at him questioningly, and he inhaled and continued. "I—I want to ask you something."
"You can ask me anything, Teddy," Harry said, kindly.
"I was just wondering—how did you do it? All of those battles, all that danger. How'd you get through it?"
Harry smiled wistfully at the younger boy. "Sometimes, Teddy, you have to put the greater good above yourself. You have to do what's right rather than what's convenient, or easy."
There was a moment of silence as Teddy thought about his godfather's words. It would be easy to give Ralph the book to guarantee his silence. It would be easy to continue keeping the truth about his parents a secret. But it wouldn't be right. Maybe parents would complain to McGonagall, but she didn't seem the type to heed their words. Maybe other kids would give him trouble, but he would always have Ella and Alfie's support.
Maybe he needed to stop hiding from his heritage, but rather, embrace it.
Harry seemed to sense what he was thinking and said, "Your parents are war heroes, Teddy. They gave up everything for you. That overshadows anything else that they may have been."
Teddy nodded and said, "I know."
And in the face of everything, Ralph's threats seemed like nothing. It would have been different if he'd gone after Alfie or Ella, if he'd threatened to harm them, but he hadn't. Instead, he'd just threatened Teddy with something that seemed so inconsequential, now.
Teddy knew exactly what to do. There was no way Ralph was going to get his hands on that book, not with Teddy's help.
He turned to Harry. "Uncle Harry, can we go back to Professor McGonagall? I've made my decision."
Ralph wasn't going to win.
.oOo.
That evening, he marched up to Ralph in the Hufflepuff Common Room and asked to speak with him outside. The seventh-year looked somewhat taken aback, but nodded, following Teddy as he led him to spot under the oak tree. It had gotten dark awfully early and a thick fog covered the surrounding area, reducing visibility. From where he was, Teddy couldn't see anyone other than Ralph.
He stared up, directly into Ralph's piercing blue eyes and said, "I'm not doing it."
Ralph's eyes narrowed into slits. "What do you mean you're not doing it?" he said, icily. "Have you forgotten our little conversation?"
"No," Teddy said, shaking his head defiantly. "But I've decided that I don't care. You can tell everyone about my parents, I don't care."
Ralph laughed and took a step forward. Teddy wasn't intimidated, but took a step back all the same. "You must have forgotten," he said silkily. "You'll be kicked out of Hogwarts."
"No, I won't be. If anyone will, it's you." He took a deep breath. "I'm going to tell McGonagall about what you've done."
He didn't see Ralph's hand coming until it had connected with his cheek. Light flashed in front of his eyes as flesh hit flesh, a sharp sound rushing through the air. Teddy reached up to cup his stinging cheek and stared at the boy in front of him.
"You will not tell McGonagall anything," Ralph hissed. "Is that clear?"
"No," Teddy said. It was a mistake. This time, he saw Ralph's fist coming and tried to dodge it, but he couldn't. It connected with his jaw and he felt a metallic, bitter liquid explode in his mouth.
"Is that clear?" Ralph repeated.
Teddy stared at him defiantly for a second too long. Ralph's knee hit his stomach and staggering, he fell against the oak tree. His head hit the wood hard and pain seared through his body, red hot. White splotches clouded his vision, but he could see Ralph leaning forward towards him. Teddy weakly raised his arms, attempting to defend himself but Ralph just smiled evilly and grabbed his shoulders.
"If you tell anyone about what just happened, I will hurt you," he whispered menacingly. "Do you understand me? If you tell McGonagall about the book, I will hurt you. But I won't just stop there. I will hurt your friends—the filthy little Muggleborn and that good-for-nothing Ravenclaw. Do you understand me?"
He shook Teddy violently by the shoulders until he nodded, weakly.
"Good," Ralph said. "And I will find a way to get that book again, with or without you."
He grabbed his wand and, pointing it at Teddy, said, "Sectumtriplici." Teddy felt a sharp, numbing pain course through his body. The pain was similar to that caused by a paper cut, only highly amplified. It cut through his body in three distinct places: his face, his arm and his leg, cutting through layers of fat and flesh. He yelled in pain, but no one came and Ralph only smiled evilly.
With a final, violent shove, Ralph whispered, "Petrificus totalus." Teddy felt his body sink to the ground, numb, as Ralph walked away. He watched his blurred, retreating figure until he could see him no more.
His vision blurred more and more. And then, falling to one side, he blacked out.