25. Revealed

Screaming. Someone was screaming. My mother was screaming!

Her piercing cry knocked me out of the moment I shared with Edward and propelled me out the door.

Vampires think fast. I could perform more mathematical calculations per second than a high-end PC. In a crisis, I could consider a dozen likely scenarios, weigh the appropriate responses to each of them and maximize the safety of both myself and all of the people around me, and take just a fraction of a second to do it. I did none of that.

When my mother screamed, I reacted even faster than I could think. I was out the door and halfway across the yard before I even began to consider the many nightmare scenarios that might have caused her to scream. My first fear was the obvious: she and Charlie and Renesmee and Claire were outside, surrounded by vampires. Besides Edward and myself, six Denali and six more Cullens were all scattered about the house and the grounds.

It wasn't that I didn't trust them. Of course I trusted them. I loved them! But I knew that accidents happened. Even the gentle Cullens, most of them, had lost control at one time or another. I should know; I was unique only in that I had survived the experience. The Denali had abstained from human blood for almost a century, but they hadn't always been so nice. And they kept their thirst in check today, mainly by staying far away from humans. Garrett was even more dangerous; he had only been abstinent for a week. And almost any vampire would lose control if the human smelled sweet enough. Hadn't I just mentioned to Edward how much my mother smelled like I used to? And it wasn't necessarily one of our group. One of the Cullen's friends could be visiting, or their enemies – our enemies.

Or it could be something so much simpler. Renee and Charlie were at the pond with Renesmee. Babies died in ponds and pools and bathtubs every day. What if, after all this worry about Renesmee being killed by the Volturi, she died of something as stupid as a mother who mistook precociousness for maturity, ruggedness for invulnerability? What kind of mother let a one week old baby out of her sight?

By the time I was across the yard, my mother's terrified scream had changed from an incoherent wail to the sound of my name. "Bella! Bellaa! Bellaaaa!" That was joined by my father's voice, and by Edward's voice behind me. But I barely heard either of them. I was too busy pouring all of my newborn strength and energy into propelling myself forward.

I rounded a bend in the trail and saw my parents standing by the pond thirty yards ahead of me. My mother and father were alternately shouting for me and staring in dumb horror at the dark shape moving on the ground in front of them. I was just in time to see my mother bend down and snatch Claire back from something black and red that writhed on the ground, in what was left of Renesmee's bright yellow dress. My stomach wrenched in anguish and horror, I stopped dead in my tracks, and a single high-pitched scream escaped my own lips.

The most horrible thing I had ever witnessed, an image that haunted my nightmares for over a year, was James, or what was left of him, being consumed by fire. All I had seen then – briefly, mercifully briefly – had been a mass of charcoal and blood. Black and red, and writhing. The nightmares had become even more frequent while I was pregnant, except that then it became either me, or my daughter, or both of us in the flames. Even now, though I no longer slept, I still had waking nightmares of the Volturi catching Renesmee. In my nightmares, I always saw them destroying her with fire, the way they had destroyed Tia, Tanya's and Kate's and Irina's little brother – the way we had destroyed James. Logically, I knew that they would not have to use such drastic means to kill my little girl. But that was still the image in my mind, and that was the image that jumped into my head when I first saw the confusing scene beside the pond.

My confusion and terror lasted only for an instant, however. Realization came so fast that my scream changed into a hysterical laugh as soon as it reached my lips. The change was not really a change, just the recognition that what I saw was not what I thought I saw. That was the way Renesmee's talent worked. One moment, copper-haired Nessie would be a few feet in front of me, the next, raven-haired Carlie would turn to smile at me – and it would seem like the copper curls had merely been a trick of the light. It was like that for me now, as my mind caught up to an unexpected reality.

One moment a child's tiny arm, twisted and jerked its way out of a pile of clothes on the ground, blackened and flaking like a burning ember. The next, it was not an arm but a long and slender neck, not charred and flaking but covered in shiny black feathers. On the ground, in front of my parents, was no waking nightmare, no scene of horror. It was a swan. She was a swan. A black swan.

She had taken the form of one of the trumpeter swans that swam gracefully in the Cullen's pond – the form, but not the color. She had copied that from a red-winged black bird. I'd heard one scolding the humans a minute before, though I hadn't paid it any attention at the time. I could see the tiny bird now, on the other side of the pond, where it had sensibly retreated. It, and the shape-shifting girl who had copied it, were both glossy jet black, with thin elongated crescents of red, trimmed in yellow, at the shoulders of their wings.

With my perfect memory, I replayed what I had seen just moments before, as she twisted and flailed about to free herself from the tattered remains of her dress. Renesmee's clumsy thrashing had caused more of the brilliant red under her wings to be exposed. The unexpected form and strange coloration had thrown me off; the red feathers really had looked like blood. That, and my fearful expectations, had kept me from recognizing what I saw. That should teach me not to jump to conclusions.

My relief was staggering but short lived. As soon as I determined that she was not in any distress, I looked from Renesmee back over to my parents. They had stopped shouting, but they were now staring at me with expressions no less horrified than the ones they had given their shape-shifting granddaughter a moment before, expressions that said they had no idea what was happening – or what had happened to me. I stood there and stared dumbly back at them like a deer caught in a car's headlights. I stood less than twenty yards away from them, my body shining in the bright sunlight. A million tiny prisms made chaotic rainbows dance across my skin.

What was I going to do now? I wondered. How could I have been so stupid? Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett standing in the nearby woods, trapped by the shade until a passing cloud could let him come out. He was keeping a watch on my parents and the children. They had been very safe.

I sensed Edward move to my side and saw my parents' eyes flick briefly to the shining man beside me. Edward slipped his hand into mine, gripped it tightly and said, "Careful, Bella. You don't want to put them in danger."

"They're already in danger!" I snapped through gritted teeth.

"In danger from you, I mean. Just relax, it's going to be alright. We won't let anyone hurt them. Just stay in control."

It was true that I was right at the breaking point. I had been on an emotional roller coaster for very a long time. It seemed like weeks since I had breathed. I took a few calming breaths to prepare myself for the blow-up I knew would be coming as soon as Charlie and Renee shook themselves out of their initial shock.

I didn't have to wait long.

"Bella...? What... what's going on?" my mother hesitantly asked.

Charlie was not so hesitant. "Bella!" he bellowed. "What have you done to yourself? What has Doctor Carlisle Cullen done to you, and to my granddaughter?!"

So, Dr. Cullen must be some sort of mad scientist who'd done who knows what to us. Well, that was a pretty reasonable assumption. With all the tests and procedures we'd told them about, all the secrets, all the lies, what else could Charlie think? We had made up the medical condition, the bogus tests and procedures, to cover up my true condition and Renesmee's true nature. They provided an excuse for us to stay away from people, back when we thought Renesmee and I would need to stay away from people, and to explain why either Carlie or Nessie was always sleeping. We hadn't even bothered to flesh out the lies with meaningful details; we had never said precisely what those mysterious tests and procedures were. We knew that Charlie and Renee would not pry about things I wanted to keep private.

This was going to be hard – harder with Charlie than with Renee. Renee was a naturally trusting and forgiving person. Even now, I could see that she didn't want to believe that she'd been lied to. She was eager to believe any excuse I could come up with to make everything seem all right. And with Renee, I had only the recent lies to feel guilty about. But I had been living a lie, many lies, under the same roof with Charlie, for over a year. And Charlie was not a naturally trusting person; he was too much of a cop for that. He was used to being lied to. He just wasn't used to me doing it. He had pushed aside his suspicious nature, one of the qualities that made him a good cop, because he loved and trusted me so much. And I had betrayed that trust.

I had a hard time meeting my parent's gaze, as I walked slowly up to them, so I mostly looked at Renesmee. She looked so pretty, gloss black all over, except for the red and yellow swoosh on her sided. I had to give her points for style; I was sure her Aunts would approve.

I approached her cautiously. This was the first time she had ever taken an animal's form; I thought it must be frightening and confusing for her. She didn't look frightened though. She looked embarrassed and guilty, but not frightened and definitely not confused. I smiled at her reassuringly. I didn't want her to think that I blamed her or was angry with her. This was not her fault; it was mine. I had no right to ask so much of a baby, no matter how precocious she was. The others had counselled me to keep Renesmee away from my parents, but I had wanted them to know her. I wanted them to love her as much as I did. I tried to pour all of my sympathy, concern and understanding into my eyes before I said anything, but Renesmee just took a quick glance at me, then buried her head into the fold of her wing.

I knelt down and lightly stroked the feathers on her back. "No," I said softly. "It's alright. She's fine. She's exactly how she's supposed to be."

"How she's supposed to be!" Charlie shouted. "What did you do to her?!"

"Nothing, Dad," I said, looking up at him and Renee. Renee didn't say anything. She just turned her face away from me, as tears began to well up in her eyes. "This is a natural ability she has. She inherited it from Jacob. A lot of the Quileute are shape shifters."

"Ja – Jacob? Jacob Black can turn into a bird?" Charlie sputtered. And Renee looked back at me in surprise.

"No," I said, and I couldn't help letting a little humor creep into my voice. "Just a wolf." I cocked my thumb to point behind me, where I hard the unmistakeable heartbeat of Jacob's wolf form. I watched my parent's faces, as their eyes grew big. I listened carefully to their breathing and their heartbeats. Renee gasped, and Charlie held his breath, and both their hearts skipped a beat or two, then quickened their tempos. But I could tell that they were in no danger of having heart attacks. They were tougher than I usually gave them credit for.

I turned to look, as my giant lover came fully into view. I looked at him appraisingly, trying to see him the way that Mom and Dad were seeing him, for the first time. On all fours he stood a quarter inch taller than he did on two legs in human form. I estimated he weighed ten times as much though, or about an even ton. His yellow eyes and russet brown fur were surprisingly similar in color to Edward's eyes and hair. Strange that I'd never noticed that before. He was very beautiful. That, I had noticed. In it's own way, his animal form was as beautiful as Renesmee's.

Jake smiled playfully, letting his tongue loll out, and he panted loudly as he trotted down the trail to us. His antics made him look more like a giant, friendly golden retriever than a wolf. Mom and Dad were nervous, but not really scared. You'd have to be really afraid of dogs to be scared of an obviously-friendly golden retriever, even a giant one. I stood back from Renesmee, to let Jacob go up to her. He bumped against me affectionately with the back of his head, as he passed by. I chuckled as I was knocked backwards. I was stronger than Jake, but he out-massed me about sixteen to one. Edward caught me instinctively, and I squeezed his hand in thanks without even thinking about it. I didn't know if Jake knew yet that there was no more need for jealousy, but I was sure he wouldn't mind too much anyway. Hand-holding was allowed.

Jake got down on his stomach, put his nose about an inch from Renesmee and puffed her feathers by blowing out through his nostrils. Mom and Dad shied away from him, and Mom twisted her body to put more of herself between Jake and Claire, who she was still holding. But Claire wiggled and reached out to Jake. Mom relaxed a bit, but did not let her go to him.

Renee's and Charlie's nervousness was understandable and did not offend me. On the contrary, I was pleasantly surprised at how well they were taking it. No one had fainted or started running yet, and they seemed to have gotten the screaming out of their system. I was a bit surprised, not to mention annoyed, at Edward's reaction though. His hand stiffened in mine, when Jake stuck his giant snout up to Renesmee.

"Seriously?" I said, looking at him with incredulous disapproval.

"It's an instinctive reaction!"

"Ugh," I groaned in exasperation.

After three puffs, Renesmee shyly pulled her head out from under her wing. She looked at Jake, who touched her beak with his nose, and soon they were rubbing their cheeks together.

"Can I wide Unca Jacop? Pease."

Claire's words seemed to break the spell we were all under. I laughed, and everyone started breathing normally.

I started to tell Claire no, but Edward interrupted me.

"I think that's a great idea," he said. "Jacob needs to phase back, and he can take her to her mother on the way."

He casually took Claire from a stunned Renee and lifted her up onto Jake's back. I saw Jake stiffen and the hackles rise up on the back of his neck, when Edward first touched Claire. I'm sure that was Edward's main purpose, showing me that he was not the only one who had to struggle with his instinctive reactions. It was hardly a fair analogy though; Edward wasn't Claire's father, after all. But he'd made his point.

It might seem strange that Jacob was more nervous about Edward holding Claire than when he was holding Renesmee. But it was, like Edward said, a purely instinctive reaction, stronger for Jacob in his wolf form than when he was human. And an accident was possible with Claire, if extremely unlikely. With Renesmee, it was impossible. Edward would die before he hurt Renesmee.

"Hold on tight," said Edward. "And don't worry about pulling his fur. You can't hurt him."

Jacob gave Edward a look of indolent irritation, then trotted slowly back up the trail with Claire on his shoulders. Claire sang, "Giddy up, giddy up," over and over as they went. As we were watching them go, a cloud passed in front of the Sun, making me and Edward stop scintillating. And Emmett came out of the woods to join us.

"Wow," he said, looking at Renesmee. "That is way cooler than a bat."

I elbowed him sharply in the gut.

"A bat?" Renee squeaked. "She changes into a bat too?"

"Uh, no," said Emmett, belatedly realizing that we still needed to keep some things secret, or at least not hit my mother and father with too much all at once. "Well... one got in the house the other day, and we all wondered if she would. You know: monkey see, monkey be."

"Monkey see..." Renee repeated back, mouthing the words more than saying them. I gave Emmett a disapproving look.

He decided to side track me, by telling me what happened. "I was walking in the woods here, when I saw Charlie and Renee and the girls come down to the pond. Renee said, 'Look Charlie, swans.'

Claire heard her. She looked up at them and said, 'Nesmee's mommy is Bewa Swan.' That's the way she said it: 'Bewa.'

Anyway, Renee said, 'That's right. And this is her granddaddy, Charlie Swan.'

Then a black bird started swooping around and chirping at them because it's got a nest right over there. So Charlie said, 'And this pretty fellow, who's trying so unsuccessfully to scare us away, is a black bird. Do you know anyone named Black?'

Claire said, 'Uh huh. Nesmee's daddy is Jacop Black.'

Charlie said, 'That's right. Nessie is Nessie Black, and Carlie is Carlie Black.' Then he looked over at Carlie and said, 'But don't forget, you're also a Swan.'

And Carlie looked so serious, like she's trying to understand what Grandpa is talking about. Then she looked up at the black bird, and she looked over at the swans, and her brow furrowed... and then she was trying to get untangled from the dress. I almost laughed out loud, but I thought maybe I'd better keep quiet and let you guys handle it."

Mom and Dad's faces gave flickers of acknowledgment that they had heard Emmett's tale, but their eyes just kept going back and forth from me to Renesmee.

Edward turned to me and said, "Why don't you pick her up? I think she's ready to change back now. Let's go back to the house to talk." He reached for the top button of his shirt, seemed to think better of it, and looked over at the remains of the yellow dress lying on the ground next to Renesmee.

I reached down, picked up the cloth and wrapped it loosely around her. And she was suddenly Carlie again. It seemed to happen right as my arm passed over her, momentarily obstructing her from my view. But I suspected that the others would describe it the same way, even though, from their different angles, my arm would not have obstructed all their views at the same time. Magic. I'm afraid there's no other explanation than that. Mom gasped and Charlie swallowed, but they didn't say anything until we got back to the house and joined Carlisle, Esme, Carol and Jacob in the dining room.

Emmett ran off to 'look for Rose' practically as soon as we got in the door. Carol offered to take Renesmee upstairs to get her dressed, and I gratefully accepted. Edward asked if he should stay, and Jake and I both agreed that he should. Renee and Charlie waited impatiently for us to organize ourselves before they started in on us.

"So, Nessie...?" asked Renee. "There is no Nessie, is there?" She surprised me with her perceptiveness. Charlie looked startled, but only for a moment. Then he looked down at the floor sullenly. Renee looked at him sympathetically but didn't try to touch him. She looked back at me, her face a study in disappointment and confusion. "You couldn't tell us, Bella? You couldn't even tell Charlie? I've been in Florida, but Charlie's been right here. Been here for you!"

"I know, Mom. But Mom, we couldn't! This is a big secret. And it's not my secret to tell. The Quileute have really good reasons to hide this from the world. They've been persecuted before, you know. And... and there are still things we can't tell you. I'm sorry."

"That glowing we saw, the way you look?" Charlie accused. "Can you tell us about that? You want to tell us that's 'natural'?"

"No, Dad. But I'm sorry, we really can't talk about it."

"Well, that's not good enough, Bella!" he snapped. Then he turned on Carlisle. "You did something to my daughter, and I want to know what!"

It was startling to see a human taking on a vampire this way. I imagined the others were thinking, 'If he only knew what he was facing.' But I think that if Charlie had known that Carlisle was about a thousand times stronger than he was—he would have done exactly the same thing. Dad didn't lack for courage, and I think I know where I got my attraction to slightly overprotective men.

There was nothing wrong with Dad's deductive-reasoning skills either; he was a detective, after all. But that only meant we had to be even more careful about what we said. We didn't dare let him figure out the truth. He and Mom probably knew too much already, for ignorance to save them from the Volturi, but we still couldn't let Dad, especially, know about vampires. For one thing, what would Chief Swan do if he realized that our house guest was the perpetrator of some recent unsolved murder? I shuddered at the thought and tried to think what to say to him. Carlisle seemed to be doing the same.

It was Jacob who came to our rescue. "Charlie," he said, "Bella would have died if it wasn't for Dr. Cullen."

Charlie looked at Jacob, challenging him to continue.

"Renesmee went from egg to baby in just four weeks. Humans aren't made to handle that." He said the word 'human' with a tone that made it clear he wasn't including himself in that category.

"Four weeks? But..." Charlie shook his head. "And what Dr. Cullen did to save her? That's a secret too?"

"A lot of people would want it, Charlie," said Jacob. "But that would be bad. It's dangerous – usually forbidden. Bella got a special dispensation because... well, for one thing because it was a werewolf that was killing her. We still call Renesmee a werewolf, even though she's never actually changed into a wolf. She's a shape changer, like me."

"Dad," I interrupted. "The important thing is, are you going to be able to handle this? Or are you too weirded out by your shining daughter and shape-shifting granddaughter?"

As if on cue, we heard a ruckus from upstairs. We all looked towards the stairway in time to see Renesmee, in swan form, half-hopping and half-flying down the stairs. Her wingspan was much too wide for her to fly in such tight quarters. She wasn't exactly a giant swan, but she was a very large one. And swans are the largest birds in North America. They're even heavier than California condors. She made the frantic high-pitched honking sounds that give the trumpeter swan its name, as Claire came running after her, squealing cheerfully.

Carol Young was about a second behind them, still holding the tattered remains of another of Renesmee's dresses in one hand. "Sorry!" the harried-looking woman shouted from the top of the stairs. Her expression showed a mixture of amusement, embarrassment and exasperation. Apparently, getting a shape-shifting toddler dressed was harder than Carol expected. I smiled and waved her off reassuringly. Seeing that we were still having a family discussion, she retreated back to her room.

The two girls ran down the hallway towards the library, but a moment later they came running back. Now Claire was in front, and Renesmee was hot on her heels. Outside, the race would have been no contest, but with Renesmee unable to fully spread her wings, I thought Claire had a fair shot at making it to whatever was base.

"Should we be worried?" I asked Jacob. "I don't know how hard a were swan can bite."

"She won't hurt Claire," Jacob said confidently. I wanted to ask how he could be so sure, but I saw that Edward was in agreement with him. And I knew how Edward knew, so I decided not to worry about it.

I turned back to Charlie. "You going to be okay, Dad?"

I wasn't too worried about Renee. She wasn't going to be around much anyway, but she was also more... open, to the unusual, than Charlie.

"Do you think we could get her to not do stuff like that when I'm around?" he asked.

The Cullen's bodies all relaxed almost imperceptibly, in the vampire equivalent of a collective sigh. Jake actually did sigh, but I could tell that his was more from disappointment than relief.

I was with Jacob. "No, Dad. I'm sorry. I know this is hard for you, and some of her changes can be pretty disconcerting. But Renesmee is a very special child. She's going to spend most of her life pretending, hiding who she really is, what she really is. I think it's important for her to know that she can be herself around her own family. It was one thing when we felt we had to keep it a secret from you, but now that you know, I need you to be accepting.

Charlie pursed his lips and considered that. "What... what else can she change into?"

"This is the first animal form she's taken. Up to now she's just imitated people she knows: me, Rosalie, Claire and Edward. Oh, and Nessie—though that's not exactly imitating anyone. Nessie's more of an amalgam."

"And Emmett," Rosalie volunteered, coming into the room along with Emmett.

Charlie stared disbelievingly at Edward and Emmett. Emmett smiled at him playfully. "I know!" he laughed. "I still can't believe how good I look in a yellow pinafore."

Charlie's mouth hung limply open, until Renee actually reached over and gently pushed his jaw up with her finger. I thought people only did that in cartoons and comedies. Finally he said, "Well, since I don't think I can handle any more shocks right now, maybe we'd better put any more questions and answers on the back burner."

Silently, I let out a breath. "I think we can all agree to those terms, Dad."

Renee and Charlie thought that they should be going, since we were still busy getting ready to go to La Push. In actuality, our preparations were mostly for show, vampires travel fast and light. But we did need to get going. I'd been putting it off, mostly because I hated ending my visit with Mom. I wouldn't get many more chances to see her before she had to go back to Florida.

But then Alice took me aside. "It's no big thing," she assured me. "But I was looking ahead to see how this is going to work out with Renee and Charlie, and I saw that Phil is about to break his arm. In about ten minutes, he's going to crash into the back wall, trying to catch a pop fly in a home game against Tampa. Don't worry; he'll be fine. But you might as well visit a little longer. She'll get the call in forty nine minutes. Then she'll need you to drive her to the airport."

I hated knowing that Phil was about to break his arm and not doing anything about it. But Alice had told me about things like this before. It would be one thing if she was right there, to take control of the situation, or if she could call him and tell him exactly what she saw. I had gotten a few calls like that from her myself, back when things were simpler. But in this case, the best she could do would be to call Phil and get him off the field. And she knew from experience, that probably wouldn't help anything. The accident would probably happen anyway, and it might be even worse. So we decided to just look at this as a lucky break, a good excuse to get Renee away from here, before she learned even more secrets that she didn't need to know. So I delayed their departure just enough that Renee would get the call while she was still at the Cullens. It let me get some final visiting in, and saved her an unnecessary trip.

Renee and Charlie had totally different attitudes about Renesmee's ability. While Charlie struggled to hide his squeamishness, Renee was thrilled to see Renesmee's 'impressions'. Wearing a flexible jumpsuit, Renesmee cheerfully put on a show for her grandmother and the rest of us, changing into everyone she knew in no particular order. She reveled in the attention we all gave her.

Even Charlie, though he was clearly uncomfortable, was also clearly fascinated by this.

What continued to amaze me was how hard it was to spot the exact moment of transformation. At one point, I stared intensely at the tip of her nose. She was Carlie then, and I knew that the tip of her nose was exactly twenty two point three inches above the floor. But the next moment, the nose was on Jacob's face. And, as soon as I noticed that the face had changed around it, I saw that the nose itself was much too big for Carlie, and that it was now exactly seventy point five inches above the floor. I was not aware that I had raised my head or my eyes, yet they were now focused on a point four feet higher than they had been a moment earlier.

After a few tries like that, I started to get a headache. Finally, I decided that a magic act is best enjoyed if you don't try too hard to figure out the trick. But I did plan to take a harder look at Jacob the next time he phased.

Other than Charlie's uncomfortable smiles and barely-suppressed grimaces, the only negative reaction she got was when she changed into Emily. I just couldn't help it, and I don't think the others could either. Seeing scars on my little girl made me flinch. I tried to hide it, but she noticed. She frowned and looked around at the faces watching her. When her eyes got back to mine, the scars were gone. She smiled uncertainly.

Emotions warred inside me: love, pride, sympathy, but mostly, at that moment, shame – that I had let myself react that way. I stood and embraced her. "No, no, Renesmee," I cooed. "That's part of her. It's all right. We were just startled." I kissed her cheek and felt the rough scars brush my lips. I felt a few tears in my eyes, and I was careful not to let them get on Renesmee. I remembered Edward's warning that they could burn her. That reminded me that I needed to go change contacts again. Tearing up made them dissolve faster.

I pulled away from Renesmee, wiping a couple of tears off my cheeks. I sure was emotional lately. But what could I expect? I was a newborn vampire with a newborn baby, quite the double whammy. I looked at my own newborn squarely. She was just about a quarter inch taller than me at the moment. Astonishing as that was, it paled next to her maturity and precociousness. At only one week old, she was already as mature or more mature than most toddlers. I looked down at our resident toddler for a quick comparison.

Claire was frowning.

"Are we giving Renesmee too much attention?"

She shook her head.

"Then what's the matter? Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"I want Nesmee to make the bird again!"

I decided to let others handle this crisis. I excused myself to go take some medicine, which was code for changing my contacts. Mom and Dad had seen enough today, without me showing off my baby reds. Discretely, I gestured for Jake to join me upstairs.

"Hey, Bells. What is it?"

"You."

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

Jake just looked at me with a puzzled look on his face. So I clarified: "It's you."

It took Jake a moment for recognition to begin to dawn on him. Never, I thought, had that expression been so appropriate. Dawn. The corners of his mouth lifted, and so did the darkness.

Maybe darkness is too strong a word. Jacob had not been sad these past few days, far from it. He was as thrilled as I was to have a beautiful child like Renesmee. And things between us were much better than they had been during the weeks I had to keep my distance from him. And even when things had looked very dark, Jacob had remained an island of light—a brightly-lit room in a dark house.

But he hadn't looked like this. This was my sunshine.

"Well, it's about time," he said.

"What? Did everyone think it was a foregone conclusion?"

"No... not completely. At first, I thought that you might've changed too much. You know – that we wouldn't be compatible. And then I worried that maybe even if we were compatible, you and Edward were much more compatible, now that you're both... vampires. But after a while, well, I was pretty sure. I mean, I know you do still love Edward, but it doesn't seem like something I need to worry about. It's more like..." He seemed unsure what it was like.

"Like Renee and Charlie?" I offered.

"Yeah."

"Yeah, I know. It just took me a while to realize that you're the one I need to be with."

"Need?" he asked, wrapping his long arms around my waist and pulling me into him.

"Need," I answered, wrapping my own arms lightly around his neck.

"And why is that?" he asked, his eyes boring into mine.

"You keep me... human." I was feeling very, very human right then.

"And that's a good thing?" Jacob asked with a playful grin.

"Yes! I didn't used to think so, but yes. You're human, sort of, and so is Renesmee. Mom and Dad are human. I... I need to hold on to what's left of my humanity, for you."

Jake nodded understandingly. "For Renesmee, you mean. Me, Charlie, Renee, we've always been human—well, mostly human. That wasn't going to stop you a few months ago." His eyes looked away, and some of the sunshine faded from his face.

Gently but firmly, I pulled his head forward, so we were staring eye to eye again. "I'm a mother now, Jacob. I'll never make another major decision without thinking about Renesmee. And I do think this is what's best for her. But even if there was no Renesmee, I would still need you to keep me human—for you."

"That's circular."

"Maybe. But we've gone too far to go back to just friends, Jake. Seeing Mom and Dad together, and actually, even reconnecting with Edward, I realized that I don't have to have you. But I do have to love you. I have to know that you still love me. The thought of becoming something that you couldn't love or that didn't love you, I..."

And then Jacob's mouth was on mine, and there was no more need for words. No room for them either. I wrapped my arms around him loosely – and my mental shield around him tightly. Somehow, that made me feel even closer to him. Or maybe it was the other way around. Maybe I felt so close to him that it compelled me to encase him in my very soul.

Unlike Edward, I never had any doubt that I had a soul. My soul had a name. And it was Jacob.

I was probably a couple of thousand times stronger than a typical human girl, maybe a hundred times or so stronger than Jacob. But at that moment, I felt very weak in my knees, though I knew that I still had to be careful not to hurt him.

I did not pull his head against mine, but I did press my lips against his.

I did not bite him, but I did pinch his lips between mine hard enough to make him moan.

I did not scratch him, but I traced my fingertips over his muscular form, hard enough to make him quiver.

I was the most self-controlled newborn ever. I could do careful. I was as careful with him as he had always been with me.

"No backsies," he said.

"No backsies," I promised.

I knew that some day soon Jacob would want us to get married. That didn't bother me now. It would just be a formality anyway, a show for our family and friends.

We had already said our vows.